Chapter Twenty-five
"What a horrible curse, to be afraid of having happiness permanently placed into your body. "

Arley, for the first time in her nineteen years of life, was on her way to getting drunk.

Or at least she hoped she was. Despite having no real first hand knowledge to compare what she was feeling— warm, fuzzy but the knot in her gut still twisting tighter and tighter —and being four beers in, Arley was sure she wasn't quite there yet.

At least not enough to call herself drunk. Buzzed maybe. Tipsy, sure. And that was only because she knew how her ring worked; just as it sped up her healing Arley knew her ring was working overtime to flesh out the constant stream of alcohol she was taking in.

Surrounded by demons and other magical folk, squirreled away in the back of the hidden bar she and the others had found Constantine being thrown out of months ago Arley looked down the neck of the bottle she had cradled in-between her hands she couldn't help but frown at the memory of Superboys lips on her.

That was another way she knew she wasn't drunk. Arley could still— clearly —remember how Superboys lips had felt against her own.

They were thin and his mouth had been burning against her own almost seeringly. Like he had been trying to imprint the memory onto her.

Wally's hurt expression flashed across the forefront of Arley's mind, echoing across her brain.

Arley, glaring at nothing, brought the Corona Lite to her lips and tipped back.

The demon— Azazel, Arley had learned sometime between her second and third drink; she was on her fourth —that had thrown John out all those months ago was making its way around the bar, blood still splattered across his chest.

Azazel ran the bar, collected the tabs people and beings alike had run up in either cash or flesh— "I'm not picky," the demon had said —and served the bars patrons themselves when it was dead enough.

"Nother one?" The demon growled out, standing over Arley.

"Seeing as I still fucking remember why I'm here—" Arley slurred, "—Sure."

"Still on Nelson's tab?" Arley felt the corners of her lips curl upwards bitterly. After trying to keep her hostage so that she could do his dirty work in wrangling an innocent kid into the mess that was their lives, sticking Nelson with a demonic bar tab only seemed right.

The demon let out a grumble before carrying on it's way.

Bastards, Arley though humorlessly as she tripped her head back and finished her fourth drink. She could hear her blood rushing in the back of her head as it bobbed back forward. They're all bastards.

Arley didn't quite know who she thought were bastards as even her thoughts were slurred; Wally's smile clashed with Superboy's eyes.

Arley could feel her blood warming herself; she felt as if a small fire had lit itself alight in the lower parts of her stomach as she thought of both young men.

Wally, her first love. Wally who was so good and sweet it hurt to breathe sometimes. Wally who Arley could remember hugging her so tight— burying his face into the crook of her neck, breathing her in —like she was all that held him down to this mortal plane.

Wally who moved on.

Ashy grey skin, violet eyes and cotton candy hair and a smile as sharp as any well cared for dagger.

It's not fair.

Superboy who she had given her life for because that was what was right. Who maybe wasn't as sharp and jaded as her but had blood on his hands and knew how to smile through it anyway because this was life and he had dreamed of living any for so long.

He cared apparently, more than she had realized. More than she could comprehend.

Arley knew her ring had told her love wasn't about deserving, or worthiness but still that didn't mean she didn't get why Superboy had chosen her.

A fifth beer was set into of Arley, uncapped; she didn't bother looking up at the hellspawn that had brought it to her as she took the drink up to her lips.

Lips Superboy had kissed.

Lips that still remember how Wally's would slot against them.

Lips she could remember chapped and bloody as she hung from a sub-basement ceiling.

"What no tip?" Arley's brows flew up as her eyes went left; her thoughts of the boys forgotten about as she eyed John Constantine standing next to her table, one hand in his pocket and a lit cigarette hanging haphazardly out of the side of his mouth.

Arley blinked. "Hey Johnny."

John didn't ask before he slid into the booth opposite of hers, his hands on the table as he leaned against the booth's leather backing.

"I thought you green beans didn't drink?" Constantine shot out instead of greeting Arley.

Arley couldn't help the way her eyes narrowed at the magical man. Green bean was too close to Greenie— something Roy's clone had always called her —and though she couldn't put her wobbly finger on it, something about Constantine practically stealing— because though it wasn't the same, it practically was —the teasing nickname both Roy's had come up with for her felt wrong.

"Yeah well maybe we should," Arley muttered.

"Wanna talk about it?"

"Why do you care?" Arley asked earnestly. Constantine shrugged, his palms flashed upwards as his shoulders fell.

"Who says I do?"

Arley took another long sip from her drink, sighing as she set it down. She looked to the side, her narrowed eyes flashing over the rest of the bar.

Leaning against the wooden bar top, a redhead with legs twice the length of Arley's was looking at Constantine's back. Her forked tongue tracing her ruby red lips.

"Superboy kissed me." John's brows shot up. "Wally saw."

There was more to that of course; the boys— Dickie and Kaldur —coming through the doorway after Arley had caught Wally's crumbled face. All of them yelling at one another; Superboy at the boys and the boys at him and Arley at none of them. The way she had left.

"I'm not-what? No."

"What do you mean no? Arley he kissed you without your consent!" Dick had snapped. He stood between her and the clone. Like Superboy would have to go through him to get to her.

"I mean no, I'm not dealing with this right now," Arley said before spinning on her heel— ignoring the others and their attempts to reel her back into the conversation on what had happened —and back to the room she and the others had been in, only to, still ignoring the young men behind her, following in her footsteps, rocketing out of the still broken window.

"Oh."

"You don't sound surprised."

"I'm not," John said. Arley couldn't help but shoot the man a long, suffering look. "Kid anyone with eyes could see the boy loves you."

Arley couldn't help the groan that bubbled in the back of her throat. It wasn't that she didn't love Superboy— she did —it was just, Arley knew with every fiber of her being, she could never love him the way he loved her.

"This is a fucking mess," Arley practically sobbed into her drink.

"Love usually is green bean."

"But I don't love him!" Arley snapped.

And perhaps that wasn't the entire truth; Arley loved Superboy the way she loved the others on her rag-tag team of vengeance thirsty misfits and the Lanterns that had helped raise her. The way she had grown up loving Dickie and Roy's clone and Kaldur.

She loved Superboy like family.

But she didn't love him the way she had loved Wally. The way that despite everything, she still loved him.

"Why not? The blokes been there every step of the way, sure he hovers but he cares."

"I know, I know."

"So what's the problem?"

"Me," Arley confessed far too earnestly as she rolled her half drunk bottle between her palms. "I'm the problem."

John let out a commiserating hum.

"Aren't we all."

Arley took another sip of her drink; her blood warmed with every gulp only to pause when John got to his feet and motioned for Arley to do the same.

The Lantern's brows shot up in confusion.

"Your rides outside."

"I have a ride?"

"Can't have you flying while intoxicated, it's a crime you know."

"So is murder." Amanda Waller's face— her enraging smirk —flashed across the forefront of Arley's mind. She wasn't Light, not technically but Arley wouldn't mind after this was all over going after that woman too.

Nothing about her sat right with Arley; Who the hell did she think she was? Arley thought with an inwardly biting snarl.

Superboy had been right, to lay down in bed— metaphorically or otherwise —with the likes of Luther made her just as bad as the Light.

"Yeah well," John shrugged, pulling Arley's attention back to him. He offered Arley his hand. She took it, only for her knees to buckle as she stood up.

She wasn't drunk but God was she almost there. Maybe if she stayed a little longer— have whoever was waiting on her wait just a little longer —then she wouldn't remember Superboys lips or Wally's crumbled expression or the weight that sat on her heart, making every breath an obstacle to take.

Constantine was quick to catch her. One arm around her waist while the other caught her under the armpit.

"Thanks," Arley breathed.

"No problem kid, come on your mates outside waiting for you." John began leading Arley towards the door of the bar only to stop when Arley dug her heels into the bar's floorboards.

"Yes?"

"I-you're a good guy Johnny, you know that?"

"God you're fucking tanked aren't you?" Arley wished.

"I'm serious!" Arley argued, leaning against the man. "You're shit at nice and sure you suck at being good but you try and try and you haven't let me down John and I wanted to say that because-because—" Arley trailed off, her brows knitted together, unsure of what to say next Arley just knew she had to say something.

"I haven't let you down yet," Constantine said in almost a patronizing tone, "Give me time though."

Arley shook her head even though it hurt to do so.

"I'm serious Constantine, you're cool." Arley saw John's face smooth out as a smile— a small, genuine smile —overtook his face.

"So are you kid." Arley grinned, teeth and all. And then they started once more towards the door.

When the heavy metal door opened into the Las Vegas alleyway, Arley was— a bit more than slightly —pleasantly surprised to see Kaldur, Artemis and M'gann all standing together on the same wall Arley could remember pressing herself up against months ago in order not to be spotted by any passerby's

Arley couldn't help but grin at the warmth that flooded her at the sight of her teammates; her friends.

"Arley!" M'gann was the first to step forward, pushing herself off the brick wall.

"Meg's!" Arley, not meaning to, stumbled forward, nearly taking Constantine— who grumbled out several swears —down with her as she went to hug the Martian.

M'gann was quick to take Arley from Constantine. Artemis came up on Arley's other side; humor evident in the gleaming of her eyes.

"Thank you," M'gann said to Constantine.

"No problem love, though I will say, if you want to thank me, I wouldn't be opposed to it. There's a stall in the back, but of a tight squeeze but I'm sure we can make it work."

M'gann blushed furiously at Constantine's wink.

"Gross," Arley snorted.

"Stuff it," Constantine scoffed, "Just you're not getting a good lay doesn't mean the rest of us have to live sad little deprived lives."

Arley didn't hesitate before throwing up a middle finger. She watched as Constantine slid a new cigarette out of his pocket and placed it into the corner of his mouth.

"Fly safely, and Green Bean?"

"Yeah?"

"My advice? Try not to think too hard about it all, I trust you to know right in the end." Arley's grin dimmed into a warm smile.

"Be good Johnny."

"I can try," Constantine said, "I'll catch you around." And with that he had once more disappeared into the bar leaving Arley in the alleyway with the others.

The hot arid air nipped at the back of Arley's neck as she looked to M'gann and Artemis, "How bad-I mean—"

"—He knows he was an idiot," Artemis cut Arley off, "Supes knows he never should have kissed you like that." The blonde's lip had curled into a snarl towards the end of her declaration and Arley knew what the fire behind her eyes was about; Superboy knows he should have never kissed you without your consent.

Arley couldn't help but smile.

"Thanks." Artemis shrugged,

"It was Lex."

Oh. Arley grinned at the thought of her blue skinned teammate tearing Superboy a new one. She'd always assumed Lex and Superboy were closer to one another than either were to her— they were brothers after all —but then again, she hadn't realized just how much Superboy cared for her.

"Wally was also spoken to," Kaldur spoke up gently, Arley turned her body as she faced her friend. "He knows he has no right to be upset with you moving on-if that's what you want, Dick and I, we spoke to him."

"He was upset?" Arley asked dumbly; Wally's crumbled face flashed through the forefront of her mind and yet she couldn't connect the two in her mind.

"You think he wouldn't be?" Kaldur asked slowly. Arley half shrugged her shoulders; her brows knit together as she did so.

"Kind of?" Wally had moved on, he had lived a life without her; why would he have been upset that she had moved on?

"Arley," Kaldur said just as slowly, he looked at her as if she'd grown two heads, "He saw the person he loved being kissed by someone else-he thought you were kissing Superboy. Of course he was upset?"

"He doesn't-Wally, no." Arley shook her head, "You're wrong, he doesn't care. He moved on Kaldur."

"No Arley, he hasn't, from the moment you disappeared Wally has been waiting for you."

"But-but his girlfriend!" Arley sputtered, her voice several octaves higher, "I saw the articles Kal! I know he's moved on!"

Kaldur's face rested into it's usual stony impasse, he placed a hand on Arley's shoulder; "Perhaps you should talk to Wally, Arley."

Her stomach churned ever so slightly at the thought; talking to Wally meant the chance of rejection. It meant looking him in his eyes had he tore his hand through her chest and ripped out what was left of her heart.

Her heart though, as her stomach knotted itself together, soared at the prospect; if Kaldur was telling the truth then he wouldn't reject her. He would hold her; he wouldn't turn her away.

He would love her the way he apparently always had.

Arley's head snapped in Artemis' direction; the blonde had laced her fingers with Arleys.

"How about you spiral in the bioship?" Artemis snorted.

Arley couldn't help the color that rushed to her cheeks; darkening them.

"That easy to read huh?" Artemis shrugged as the bioship that hovered above them flared to color, no longer in camouflage mode. The bay doors opened up and Arley aromatically wrapped her free arm around Artemis' waist.

Arley knew that if she was a smidgen more sober— knew that if she wasn't so caught up with Superboy and Wally and what was going on inside of her —then perhaps she would have cracked some kind of joke at Artemis's flushed face that was only centimeters away from hers.

But she wasn't a smidgen more sober, and as she and M'gann lifted Kaldur and Artemis into the bioship that hovered above them, Arley was caught up with thoughts of Wally and Superboy and not just what she was going to say to them when she got back to Titans Tower.

But what they would say to her.

….

The bioship touched down on the Titans Towers roof sooner rather than later much to Arley's dismay; she wasn't ready to talk to either Superboy or Wally.

She looked up at Kaldur who had put his hand on her shoulder; the pads of his fingers pressed into the skin of her upper arm.

"You do not have to speak to them right now, your friends and I will tell Wally and the Superboy to-what do you and Roy say?"

"Get fucked?" Arley blinked innocently, the corner of her lips curled upwards.

"Kick rocks," Kaldur supplemented with a grimace.

"Oh." Arley looked to Artemis and M'gann who stood by the bioships door, both of them nodded firmly at Arley.

It was clear that if she needed them, they would keep the boys at bay.

But she couldn't; they couldn't. Arley had waited months— ever since that night at the internet café —to find out why Wally had left her behind and to make Superboy— someone who perhaps she didn't love but still cared deeply for —stew in sure what was a mess he had made wasn't her style.

Running wasn't the Green Lantern Corps style.

"Plant your feet," Kilowog had said once during Arley's second week of basic training, "And tell whatever Pozer you're facing the only way they're getting past you is through you and then kick their ass for trying."

"Thanks," Arley said to the three in the ship, "But I should talk to them, there's a lot to unpack and I can't wait around for any of this to get easier," Arley said; Especially, she thought as she stood, When we go to war in less than a week.

"Okay," Kaldur said, retracting his hand. Arley followed him— who followed Artemis who trailed behind M'gann —off the bioship.

Dubbilex was there on the Titans Towers rooftop with his arms crossed over his chest and a sad look in his eyes.

"Lex—" Arley started to the genomorph only to be silenced when he held a blue skinned hand up.

"—I told him you were hopeless, your heart has never wavered, Arley. In all the years I've known you, it's always laid with Wally West. Superboy knew that as well he just looked before he leapt."

"He's in the room?"

"Yeah, and for what it's worth Arley, I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"I knew from the beginning, I should have nipped this in the bud. Allowing Superboy—" this time Arley stopped Dubbilex. Her hand gripped his elbow.

"—Since when do we allow Superboy to do anything? He kind of just does, it's how we got stuck with the dog." Dubbilex grinned.

"Just do me one favor?"

"Of course."

"Superboy has invulnerable skin but a fragile heart, when you let him down do it kindly?"

"Of course," Arley said automatically. Like she could ever be cruel to Superboy.

And with that she started off towards her and her team's room; Arley pressed her ring against her heart almost as if she was trying to will her ring to give her the strength for the conversation she was about to have.

Her lips tingled.

While she loved Superboy, Arley knew she wasn't in love with him. He was like Kaldur and Roy and Dick; another brother.

How had she missed the signs? How had she been so blind?

Arley paused outside the bedroom door.

She knew the answers to her questions; Wally, the near obsessive need to get revenge. The fact she hadn't wanted to see it.

Arley had wanted to— still very much, despite her conversations with Nabu and her ring —wanted to die. To acknowledge Superboy's feelings— that he wanted her to survive her upcoming fight with Savage and Sportsmaster —it hadn't fit in Arley's worldview, so she hadn't.

This was all her fault.

Arley opened the door and saw Superboys with his head hanging low sitting on the edge of bed. Wolf curled up next to him.

Slowly Superboy looked up and towards Arley; hazel met blue.

"Hey."

"I'm sorry," Superboy whispered. Arley shook her head, taking several steps into the dimly lit room,

"No, I am," Arley said in response, "This is my fault Supes. If I had opened my eyes just a little I could have saved you from this."

"You shouldn't have had to open your eyes, Arley. After what you went through and us running from the Light and thinking the sidekicks were being held captive, you shouldn't have had to deal with me too, I know that."

"You're not something to deal with Superboy," Arley said, taking another step further into the room. Closer to the clone. "You're my friend, any problem you have—"

"—Loving you isn't a problem!" Superboy snapped. "Loving you," the clone whispered, "It's what helped me in the pod."

Arley felt her face pale in real time as his words settled over her, "All this time?"

"Of course," Superboy replied as if it were obvious. His gaze held Arley's steady. It was unwaivering. "Once Lex got Cadmus' programming out of my head and I could think for myself, all I thought about was how you were trapped because of me. How you refused to run because of me! You would rather suffer than leave me behind and I didn't know what wind or grass or water felt like but I knew the warmth in my chest when I thought of your conviction was love."

"Superboy—" he waved her off, he turned away, his gaze fell back to the floor and Arley scrambled towards the clone, she sat on the edge of the bed, her hand grabbed his.

"I'm sorry," Arley whispered. "I'm sorry I never noticed."

"Could you?" Superboy whispered, "Now that you know, could you love me back?"

No. That was the automatic answer, it was said and quiet but that was the only thing that echoed in Arley's gut.

No, she couldn't love Superboy the way he loved her. She'd never be able to love him the way he loved her.

"I'm sorry." Superboy cupped Arley's cheek, his thumb wiped away the tear that had only just fallen before it could run the length of Arley's face.

"Don't be, I knew this was how it was going to be."

"Then why kiss me?"

"Because you forgave them. After everything they didn't do for you, you forgave them and I figured-it was selfish of me but I figured if you could forgive them then you could forgive me. I thought maybe this would make you see me."

"I always saw you."

"No," Superboy denied, "You didn't, at least not the way I wanted you to."

"I'm sorry."

"I know." And then he pressed a firm kiss to her forehead. It felt more like a goodbye than anything. Because it was; "When this is all over the Kent's, they offered to take me in."

"Good," Arley breathed as she pulled away from the clone; her body felt almost cold as she shifted away from him. Superboy had always run hot but Arley knew it was more than that; she was losing her best friend. "You deserve that much. A loving family, I'm so happy for you Supes."

"Thanks Arles." Arley grinned,

"You came up with a nickname for me." Superboy shrugged, a small smile pulled at his lips.

"Stole it you mean."

"Who cares?"

And then silence fell over them, with only Wolf's light snoring to blanket the room Arley looked at Superboy. Really looked at him and she knew in that moment maybe she would never love him the way he wanted her to but he would always hold a piece of her because that's what little brothers did. Even if Arley never saw Superboys again after he went to the Kent's he would have a space in her heart carved out just for him because the Lantern that had died in that cell all those years ago hadn't died so that she could live like her ring wanted to believe.

She had died for Superboy. Gladly and happily because that's what he had deserved.

He deserved the world; Arley would never be able to give him that but someone, one day would. And with that Arley stood, her hand on Superboys shoulder.

"For what it's worth, thank you."

"For what?" Superboy's head cocked to the side.

"Loving me when I was at my worst. Taking care of me when I didn't realize how much I needed it, the only reason I made it this far Supes, is because of you and the others so thanks."

"I'm sorry I couldn't love you at your best." Arley didn't hesitated in hugging the clone tightly, he didn't pause to hug her back just as tightly.

When they pulled away from each other Superboy tilted his head back, "Are you going to take him back?"

Arley shrugged, "I don't know. No?"

"You love him though?" Arley shrugged again.

"It's complicated. He moved on, sure he looked but he replaced me."

"He's an idiot," Superboy said almost as if he were coming to Wally's defense.

"I know."

"If you do," Superboy said, "Take him back I mean, tell him if he hurts you, I'll kill him."

Arley could tell how serious the clone was; Superboy truly meant it when he said he would kill Wally. And perhaps she shouldn't have smiled as largely as she did but Arley couldn't help it.

"Will do." And with that Arley got to her feet and without turning back to look at Superboy, she left hers and her team's shared bedroom only to pause in the hallway, unsure of where to go.

She didn't know where Wally's room was or if he was even there.

So instead she went to Dicks; she loudly knocked twice on the door.

Dick opened the door in Superman pajama pants and knitted socks that Alfred had probably gifted him. Arley pretended not to notice the body in his bed as he leaned against the doorframe with a sad smile hanging off his face.

"Hey sorry to bother but, um—" Arley looked down at her hands, "—Is Wally in the Tower?"

"If he's not on the roof, try the gym, he really doesn't stay in his room."

"Thanks, and sorry to bother."

"It's okay but Arley?"

"Yeah?"

"I know it's a big ask but please, be gentle with him?" Arley couldn't help but smile; Dick and Dubbilex were truly more alike than either realized.

The Lantern then paused; M'gann and Kaldur weren't too far from one another and neither Artemis nor Roy were incredibly different from each other. And, when she thought about it Wally and Superboy were more similar than they weren't.

She almost wanted to laugh at the irony; for months she had raged at the boys leaving her and replacing her when she had done the same abet, somewhat unconsciously.

"Of course Dickie," Arley nodded as the younger male reentered his bedroom leaving Arley to linger in the hallways with her heart pounding in her ears.

Wally hadn't been on the roof when she and the others had arrived and while perhaps in however much time it had taken for Arley and Superboy to talk he'd gone up to the rooftop, something in Arley's already tight gut told her Wally West was in the gym three floors down.

Swallowing her dry tongue, Arley turned in the direction of the elevator. Her fingers curled at her sides as she stepped away from Dicks door.

She could do this.

She could talk to Wally; she could lay her hemorrhaging heart out in front of him and she could barely whatever came about their conversation.

Arley pressed the elevators down button.

Kaldur and Superboy were both convinced Wally still loved her; maybe they were right. Maybe the only boy Arley had ever loved wouldn't take her heart in his hands and crush it.

Maybe— Arley stepped into the elevator —she would be okay.

Arley kept that thought— I'll be okay. I'll be fine. I'll be okay. —with every step she took towards the gym only for her train of thought to come to a screeching halt right outside of the Titan Towers gym.

Because what if Kaldur and Superboy were wrong. What if her fears were founded?

What if—

Arleys spiral was cut short by the gym's door opening and Wally stepping out into the hallway. Sweaty and honestly slightly smelly, glistening and panting; less than six inches away from Arley was Wallace West.

"Arley," Wally blinked, his brow twitched down and though he frowned his eyes— dark emerald green eyes —became a light at the side of her.

"Wally," she breathed. Wally went stiff at the sound of his name, his ears tinged pink.

"I was just leaving, you don't have to worry about me," Wally said, his eyes still locked with Arley's. Arley's heart lurched into her throat at the speedsters words.

Wally had always been sarcastic, always quick to make a quip or two but he had never been someone to not say what he truly felt. At least he hadn't.

But that had been years ago. He had changed just like she had, hadn't he?

Arley looked at Wally for the first time in years— really, truly looked at him —and noticed that though his eyes sparkled, the young man in front of her wasn't the boy she'd loved.

He was different. His hair shaggier, the lines on his face deeper and the freckles she had once loved to kiss fading; Arley could no longer find the shapes she used to trace along Wally's nose whenever he napped next to her.

Wally went to move around Arley only for the Lantern to catch his wrist between her fingers; Wally froze like a deer in the headlights.

"We—" Arley paused, Wally turned his body so that though his wrist was still in her hand, his chest was to hers, "—We need to talk Wally."

"About what?" He asked with a forced airy nature.

"Us. What you saw-everything Wally, starting from the day you walked out of the Hall. Please?" She asked softly.

Wally sucked a sharp breath in through his nose.

"Okay," he said after a moment, "Yeah." He then stepped back, the gym doors opened and the redhead nodded towards the open room.

Without any sort of hesitation Arley followed Wally into the room, it was quiet.

He was beautiful; still, even after all the time that had passed. Arley's heart hammered in her chest.

"You-you wanted to talk?"

"I did-do," Arley corrected, her cheeks warm. "I'm just struggling here."

"With what?"

"Where to start," Arley said softly. "There's so much I want to say-that I need to get off my chest."

"Then do it Glow, whatever it is, I'll take it. I deserve it," Wally said, he took a step closer to Arley, his face twisted downwards. "If you want to start off by telling me you hate me, do it, I'm ready."

Wally looked as if he was physically bracing himself for the supposed onslaught of anger he was ready for Arley to aim at him.

Instead all he got was a wounded sounding, "You think I hate you?"

"You should," Wally replied earnestly.

"I could never," Arley replied automatically, "Wally even when I found out you moved on—"

"—I didn't, not really," Wally interjected, "How could I when I knew for so long, you're it for me Arley."

Warmth— a fire; heat hotter than the Earth's core —swept through Arley, up her stomach and throat and to her face.

"But your girlfriend? I read the articles, Wally."

"Linda," Wally deflated, "She needed help and she was there and everyone kept telling me you were dead and Barry, he wouldn't let me breathe-but I never stopped looking Arles. God," Wally said with a tinge of pain in his voice, "I never gave up on you not for a moment. I fucked up with Jinx but I have never stopped loving you."

Tears dotted the corner of Arley's eyes. Relief, happiness, sorrow, anger; they all washed over Arley at a breakneck pace. This was all she had wanted to hear for months and yet, Arley found herself shaking her head.

This was all she had wanted since she had escaped. And when did she get what she wanted? When did the universe give her anything without taking far more than it's pound of flesh from her?

Where was the other shoe?

"Arley—"

It was going to drop; she knew it. Just as soon as her heart would mend those cuts would once more be opened back up.

"—Hey." Wally had his hands on the upper parts of her arms, his emerald eyes gladly with tears of his own. "I get it, you don't love me anymore—"

"—Of course I do!" Arley snapped. "Jesus fuck Wally I never stopped! You! You were what got me through all those years, you're what saved me! And-and when I got out, you were what drove me forward. How could I ever not love you?" Arley asked rawly, tears racing freely down her face. Her hands were over his.

This time Wally shook his head.

"You deserve more," he said, "I got played and you paid for that. You deserve better. I hate it-the thought, but Arley, god, you deserve the world."

"I deserve the world?" Arley echoed, "Wally I have blood on my hands, so much. More than you know, how does this not disgust you?"

She would make him see her for what she was. For the weapon the universe had forged and he would leave and Arley would bow but she wouldn't break because she would be ready for when Wally walked out the door this time around.

"Because I'd do the same, I wanted to do the same? Arley, when I found out what happened to you all I wanted was to track down Sportsmaster and the rest of the Light and rip them all apart with my bare hands."

"I've killed before them!" Arley snapped. The other show would drop, she would make it. She would not allow herself to have the run ripped unsuspectingly out from under her.

The universe would not use Wally West to destroy her again.

"Warlords and armies and generals! I beat a soldier to death with a rock a week before you kissed me at your aunt's wedding! I—"

"—Know."

The proverbial record scratched loudly in Arley's ears. Time stood still. Arley blinked at Wally.

"What?"

"I know-known. I was after you killed some Lantern killer."

Arley remembered that, she'd been eleven; it'd been a year before her and Wally had gotten together and she had killed an alien who'd slaughtered three other Lanterns.

There had been other ways to go about taking the alien down but he had killed Arrkus, a Lantern. Arley had known far more than well enough— she had gone through basic training with Arrkus, they'd come up as Lanterns together—and when she'd seen the body of her fellow Lantern at the aliens' feet Arley had frozen.

She had stood there frozen, eyes locked onto Arrkus' body until the alien had Arsia underneath him. He'd been about to kill Arsia; he would have killed her if Arley had killed him first.

"Hal was telling Barry, I was over for the night-my parents were on some trip and Hal was kicking himself for letting it happen. He said he should have gone instead but he'd messed up again and you were forced to fix his mistake."

Arley shook her head automatically; Hal wasn't at fault for any of that. He'd been at risk of losing his job so Arley had taken up the mission for the Lantern Killer in his stead so that he wouldn't miss any more days.

He had never said he'd felt guilty.

"Glow," Wally said; Arley's heart lurched at the nickname, "Don't you see, I know about it all and I don't care. I never have because at the end of the day, when you're here on Earth you're a hero. You're not a soldier, or a killer, or whatever you think you are, you're my Glowstick. My heart."

Arley couldn't breathe. Her face was hot; her body was on fire. The room both spun and yet stayed completely still.

"You mean it?"

"Would I lie to you?"

"No?" Wally chuckled; they were so close. Their chests were pressed against one another.

"Never," Wally answered firmly. "I would never lie to you." He breathed. "I love you Arley. I always have."

"I'm not that same girl Wally, the one you knew."

"I will," Wally stressed, his head lowered, "Always love you. Nothing could change that."

"I love you too."

Wally pressed his lips not against Arley's but against her forehead. One of his hands twisted its fingers into her hair as he held her close; he pressed himself against Arley so firmly it was as if he were trying to have her physically soak up all the love he had for her.

They weren't fixed; they weren't back together. That would take time; for as much as Arley knew she loved Wally and for as much as he claimed to still love her the same, they had changed over their years apart and they would need time to find how their new edges and loved fit together

But it was a start. And that, in that moment— in Wally's arms with his lips pressed against her forehead —was enough.

Notes: Okay but those vault songs on the Speak Now album actually helped with the writers block for this chapter. (I hope it was everything you guys were looking forward to cause I rewrote this three different times!)

Anyway the chapter is neigh, let me know what you thought!

Anyway, until next time!