As usual, more adult chapter over on A03!
"I did not expect to see you so soon," the preacher says sitting down beside her.
Una only looks down at her hands, she didn't know why she came, but she did Alec had gone back to work, promising to be back in a few days, with the promise of taking her back with him for the week. "The silence of Church is a comfort to me?"
"You wish to be alone then?"
"I don't know, I just…wanted to think unhindered?" Una says quietly.
The preacher nods his head and was about to stand up but Una stops him.
"I never meant to lie Reverend," Una says quietly.
"Everyone is entitled to their own secrets," The reverend says shaking his head.
"I was nineteen, he wasn't a bad person, he was often fun and kind he knew how to make people comfortable. He could charm people in ways his other brother couldn't, He was magnetic in another way, he knew how I felt, but we were always friends. But that afternoon, he…I don't know, was in the mood? I just happened to be there in his bed, completely stupidly in love with him and his web. I never questioned it before but now it's there in the back of my head. Would he have stopped if I had said no? I want to say he would have but knowing that experience and how it played out? I kept getting this sinking feeling that…I don't think he would have…gone to the extreme but he's good at charming and sweet-talking people into things he wants and I would have just followed his lead," Una finds herself saying.
"Sometimes we do things to preserve ourselves from things that frighten us but to charm someone into intercourse. Whether in a relationship, marriage, or casual encounter speaks volumes about the person doing the charming. That is not righteous or noble of them, that does not make them good in the eye of god. It will fall to them on Judgement Day to accept those sins and repent for their actions, and not of the victims of the charming."
"What about my Judgement Day when I get asked why? Why did I choose it? Why did I not tell him or allow him to be part of that choice?"
"I don't know much of the situation, but what you have told me, it sounds like you acted for your own greater good?" He says simply.
"When I found out I was shocked and confused, and I knew the moment at the doctor that I couldn't. It killed me in a million ways but I had no choice. So I never told him, because I knew he would try and make me have the child. I would be stuck with him forever and I couldn't stomach that. Then he found out anyway, creating this animosity, this monster that destroyed everything we shared. He was so angry about what I did, and how I did it without telling him, and he couldn't understand why I did it, which made him angry. I couldn't stay there and live with that sort of chaos and craziness. Then I met Alec and it was confusing and enthralling, how he just said okay and dealt with the craziness and helped me realize what I was looking for was more my forgiveness and not gods. I fought him on this arrangement we have because it all felt so fast but in reality, I had to leave for my own sanity and honestly, I found more happiness here than I expected."
"Well, I am glad that you appeared Una, not just for the choir but for your own safety." The reverend tells her. "Remember that we all fall, we all sin, Your choices are your own and no one's business but your own. Forgiveness is given to those who ask for it, though it feels as if you have already forgiven yourself, which is the largest hurdle to overcome in circumstances such as these."
Una nods her head. "I probably won't be here next week. I'm going to disappear to the lakes with Alec for a week and see a bit more of the country."
"Understandable, but do not fear others upon your return I will ensure that everyone knows that you are welcome and that the young Miss Keaton was mistaken in many of her so-called facts," He tells her as he stands up. "As a child of God, we are all worthy of our place in his house to pray to him"
Una merely nods her head and watches him leave. She spends the next two days getting ready for her week with Alec in between wandering about and stopping in to see Abby and Violet. When Alec does arrive, he's yawning and hungry. Una feeds him some leftover dinner before tucking him into her bed as she scribbled in her journal.
They don't rush out the door, but stay for breakfast and head out just before noon. The drive through the North in early March is different than back home. She would still be used to seeing snow on the ground, beginning to melt, but here it's almost turning green already.
Of course, the scenery isn't as nice when you're on the opposite of the road but Una settles into the seat of Alec's small old Fiat.
"I should probably learn how to drive a manual," Una tells him.
"You don't know how to drive a manual?" Alec says looking over at her for a brief moment, hand on the steering wheel.
"Dad had an automatic," Una says shrugging. "What most cars are in back home," she tells him.
"Fair enough, but we will have to rectify that," Alec says nodding his head. He switched hands and uses his left and squeezes her thigh. "You're feeling better though?"
"I'll get there," Una says honestly. "Takes a few days to shake some stuff."
"Of course," Alec nods his head.
The scenery changes rapidly as they go through and around cities into the moorlands and North Yorkshire. Coffee and tea stops, as well as a bathroom break for Una before getting back onto the highway. It felt like a strange switch at one point, the rolling hills of the moors beside the highways, changed as they went in and out and around mountains. She sits up straighter, she watches with great wonder at the sights around her.
"This is Windermere, Alec explains. "Grasmere is still further away, but the drive is scenic for the most part. We get to drive next to the lake."
Una nods her head smiling and she can't help be smile at the view, even in early march, when things are still looking more like fall than spring it is beautiful to her.
"You drive this every week?" Una says looking at him feeling more guilt. Three and half hours, four hours was the drive to Redmond College in Halifax. Where her sister lived before moving to Charlottetown and Jem took the ferry back and forth for medical school during the weeks. It didn't seem like a lot until you did it constantly.
"Well this is the scenic route, there are a few easier and quicker ways to get to Grantham," Alec explains.
"It's so much gas though?" Una frowns.
"Petrol is nothing," Alec tells her, sneaking a look at her. "Unless you wish for me to come less?" He says quietly.
"I just…." Una starts. "It just doesn't seem fair I suppose to me."
"Una, you moved to another country to be here, to be nearer to us. The least I can do is drive three hours to see you." Alec reminds her of all that she had given up, Much more than him that is for sure. They make another small stop at the small grocery store in Windermere before they close for the evening picking up milk and other things to last a few days for them.
They continue the drive afterwords, driving next to Lake Windermere and through more valleys around the fells.
"That's Dove Cottage, it's where I work mostly, but I also help up at the house as well, so my flat is in the middle of them both?" Alec explains as they pass by his work. Una knows that already, having been told, but it's different to see the commute in person. They drive to a slightly larger village before Alec pulls down a lane and then another before stopping at what is his place.
Alec's flat is a small old stone cottage in many ways. "The foundation technically owns it for their workers as renting can be hit and miss in this area," Alec explains.
"Lucky of you," Una says. "I feel like I am in a fairy tale or something?"
"Well come inside before the fairies can steal you away then," Alec laughs grabbing the bag of groceries, his keys dangling in his hand. He unlocks the door for her and lets her wander inside, both kick off their shoes automatically and Una looks around
It's bright with a fairly large window and furnished with practical, old furniture. It did have a large bed though Una notes as she looks around.
"How very English to have a washer in the kitchen," Una says shaking her head. Weatherpointe had a laundry room much to Una's own dismay upon the realization when she asked where she could do her laundry. Giselle told her help would do it for her, but her days consisted of nothing much so she tracked down the room herself and did it for herself.
"You're good staying in my bed?" Alec asks as if they haven't spent the night before at weather pointe sharing her room since she arrived.
"Do we not share my bed when you visit?" Una asks him.
"I just don't like to assume," Alec says shrugging and placing her bag on the floor near his bed in the other room. "What would you like to do first this evening?"
Una sits down on his bed looking around. There's a photo of her from Rome mid-spin, skirt twirling around her at the Trevi fountain in her white and blue floral dress.
"I mean we can have a bite or tea if you want, or we can stretch our legs and I can show you the village more or walk up to the cottage?"
"Alec," Una says to him as he walks back and forth trying to decide, to figure out the game plan.
"Yes, Luv?"
"If you don't get over here and bed me…" Una tells him and she hears him drop something.
"I thought?" Alec said from the doorway after a few steps away, poking his head into the bedroom.
"I wasn't much in the mood this morning but that was then and this is now, and this place feels like a daydream of a fairy. Plus while I have my own wing at your grandmother's. This is much more inviting for an afternoon of very loud lovemaking," Una tells him.
"Love making huh?" Alec picks up on her choice of words and she blushes. "Does that mean what I think it means?"
Una blushes and suddenly look anywhere but at him.
"Well, I'm not going to start calling it shagging, and it's a bit more than just sex at this point?" Una rattles off blushing.
"All right, all right I won't tease you about it," Alec tells her. "But for the record, I think I fell in love with you that first day in Rome together. I kept pinching myself wondering if you were real or not," Alec tells her.
"Not Paris?"
"I'm a romantic." He says with a smirk. "Paris was amazing don't get me wrong on that, but it was a whirlwind and whirlwinds are not definite emotions. At least by Rome, we've talked a few days and we're beginning to truly understand each other." Alec explains, crouching down in front of her.
"That's why you have that photo of me?" Una asks him.
"Maybe I just like that photo so I printed it out," Alec tells her with a crooked smile.
"Fair enough," Una concludes, looking around the room once more and then back at him. "I do love you, it scares me sometimes but I do."
"I know," Alec says clutching her hands. "And that's okay, love can scare anybody, but if it helps remember that love you too. More than I can ever explain or tell you and frankly, that scared me for a while as well. I never met someone like you and when Jem called that morning and I found myself on a flight thinking I had to be crazy or in love…"
"Or both?" Una teases him.
"Oh so I'm crazy now, well lucky me to have you trapped up in a small cottage maybe you'll never see the light of day again," Alec whispers in her ear, nipping at it lightly.
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach when feeling out of sight
For the ends of being and ideal grace.
I love thee to the level of every day's
"Emily Browning?" Una says after a pause and Alec chuckles. She kisses him, holding his face in her hands, and while it doesn't take long, it remains oddly sweet and romantic.
They scoot back on top of his bed, further and further until they reach the pillows. His hands are already seeking out the soft skin of her waist under her sweater. Her hips are cradling his as he lays between them, keeping most of his weight off of her.
"You're so soft," he murmurs into her neck.
"Am I?" He uses the moment to pull her sweater from her body, kissing the edges of exposed flesh not hidden by the cup of her bra.
"Skin so soft, Alabaster against the mane of inky dreams
To touch is a privilege bestowed upon me by the heavens
To kiss is a sacrament that can not be undone
Only truth knows its secrets and is wedded to its masquerade."
"So you do write your own," Una hums
"Of course, especially if it calls for certain prose," Alec says simply. "You don't?"
"That is between me and my journal," Una tells him, pulling him closer for a proper kiss before uttering. "I'm still not accepting any sort of proposal from you that is not properly serious and real," she whispers, pulling at his shirt and tugging it over his sandy head. Her hands splayed over his stomach once she tossed the shirt.
"Damn you saw through that one," Alec mumbles in between the valley of her breasts.
"You didn't really try hiding it," Una says sitting up and reaching behind her and unclasping the back of her bra for him.
He flips her suddenly causing her to shriek and laugh as he pulls at her cords, easing them over her hips without undoing them. "Oh what sort of knickers are these," he grins as he hooks the small waistband on her thong with his finger. She didn't usually wear such things, but Meg had taken them shopping in the city one day and clucked her tongue at every pair of underwear that Una picked up until she picked up some thong as a joke.
They come together with a sigh and a short nod of the head, still catching her breath slightly. She clutches at him, their hands entwined together up beside her head, as partial leverage for him as the sun streams through the open window. Birds are chirping and the wind blows through the room tickling her toes. Cool sweat gathers on her body, and his as well.
"I love you," he moans into her ear.
"I love you," Una pants out, reaching for him, sloppily kissing him.
They curl up, pulling the blanket over them. Alec kisses the top of her head as he pulls her close to him.
"We didn't," Una says out loud chewing her lip.
"We didn't," Alec agrees. "Shit, I'm sorry I totally wasn't thinking." he sighs.
"It's okay, I mean I'm on the pill," Una reminds him. "Isn't that what it's for?"
"I should have asked though," Alec shakes his head. "It's never good to just assume?."
"I could have said something," Una reminds him. "It will be fine really, I just didn't know if you realized what we did. I guess we were too caught up in all the love talk?"
"Which I suppose if were caught up in anything, love is probably one of the better things to be caught up in," Alec concludes while kissing her hair. "Are you hungry?"
"I am getting peckish," Una admits with a nod.
"I'll make us some dinner then," Alec tells her.
"I'm gonna need a moment to clean up," Una says feeling the unfamiliar wetness at her core.
"Take your time, I'll just put some pasta on to boil and we can have some sort of pasta," Alec kisses her forehead this time, before rolling off the bed and grabbing his pants from the floor.
"Where are you?" Faith asks over the video chat, it was early morning there, getting ready to head to class when she picks up on Una's different background of the English afternoon.
"Up at Alec's in the Lake District, it's beautiful," Una says smiling a dreamy smile as she thinks about it all. "He's at work, of course, I'm just sort of putting around and relaxing, after what happened on the weekend."
"What did happen last weekend? Minus the one text you sent me, though details on how that went?"
"I'm not giving you details," Una scrunches up her nose at the idea. "As for the rest, Alec's sister misheard a bunch of information and decided to throw me under the bus for it at church of all places. We worked it out somewhat and explained to her it wasn't what she thought. Which was she thought had been Alec's and not about well you know who?"
"Fuck," Faith says a bit speechless.
"Yeah, I was a bit of a wreck and then she seemed to apologize not that I really accepted it though," Una sighs chewing on her lip. "I explained more about him, and what happened and got into this whole thing about consent with her because she was confused."
"Confused about what? You slept together, you got pregnant, or you saying something else and I should go call Jem and go kick someone's ass?" Faith escalates quickly into anger.
"Don't—," Una says sighing. "It's fine I was more than okay with it, I never told him to stop. I never told him no, but she asked me if he would have stopped if I had said no or stop."
She watches Faith's face go pensive. They both know him, they both know Walter and the more she thinks about it, and now her sister's reactions?
"He's always good been good at charming people," Faith says carefully. "God damn, fuck I hate him! If you have to stop and think about it it's never a good sign."
"It's okay Faith, I know how I felt that day and while it wasn't the greatest experience. I never felt like I was doing anything against my own will. We can't live in what-ifs." Una tries to keep her sister from doing anything rash.
"Can I ask you something though?" Una asks
"Of course,"
"How did you and Jem navigate the whole contraception stuff? Like do you use condoms still?"
"Ah, the age-old question," Faith hums. "Well in a perfect world you talk about it, and try to make sure no one is diseased."
"And a not-perfect world?"
"It happens, you talk about it afterwards and decide how to proceed. Decide what you are comfortable with it, exceptions to the rule or when to use back up?" Faith says clinically. "Jem And I figured once he's in his third year of medical school we can relax a bit, I'll be done nursing school by then, but until then unless it's shower or period sex we tend to use a rubber. And if his swimmers get through every barrier and my pill clunks out while I'm in school we're both okay with the decision to not go through with it, if I'm done school and his in the final year then we would keep and just adjust and make due if we feel inclined to."
Una nods her head. She wasn't in school, she really had no idea what to do about that either.
"Can I ask something?" Faith asks next and Una nods her head. "Is this coming from your own curiosity, or is that being pushed out of you?"
"Heavens no!" Una exclaims, hand on her heart. "If anyone is pushing it at anyone, it's probably me. Which is insane because I should want to be safe as possible after what happened. Alec is always the voice of reason and reminding me that if we have to think about it if we have to ask it means we're not at the step or aren't at that step," Una blushes.
"You were always the pushy one when it came to certain things," Faith says smugly grinning as if she was proud of her sister who was figuring out her life realistically and sexually. "I just wanted to be sure though."
"Alec's not like that," Una affirms. "One of many reasons why I think I love him as I do?" She realizes what she says and blushes and smiles sheepishly and refuses to look at her sister.
"Of course you love him, no one moves across the ocean for nothing Una. You just got lucky and found a semi-wealthy, aristocratic man with no discernible issues or problems so far." Faith tells her without missing a beat.
"What can I say I got lucky?" Una says sheepishly. "Also it's not like he's that aristocratic, he's not even in the line of succession, nor does he have a title. He's just Alec," Una reminds her sister.