Chapter 8

Castle woke from a deep sleep, rolling over to find a naked Kate sleeping in the bed beside him. All he could see was the bare sallow skin of her back only inches away from being slotted into his embrace. Even asleep she was stunning, he thought. But he knew reaching out to her now would be overstepping, after all they had agreed that this was purely physical and there was no way snuggling was not a part of that deal.

Images replayed in his head of the aerobics the night before, how they spontaneously had sex in the kitchen, down the hallway, then eventually in bed before they fell asleep side by side. He didn't remember falling asleep but recalled them collapsing onto the bed out of breath after what seemed like a heavenly eternity. Any fantasies he had about them sleeping together could not have possibly lived up to the night they had just experienced.

Movement next to him brought him back to reality when Kate rolled over to face him. With sleep in her eyes she struggled to open them but still managed a smile.

"Oh hey," Kate groaned in a raspy, sleepy state. She cleared her throat before saying, "You're still here."

"Pretty sure that's in the job description," he said with a charming smile.

"Hmm, but sleeping in my bed isn't."

"Hey, that one's on you! You came onto me."

"I'm pretty sure we're even on that one," she teased, poking fun at the night before.

Impressed by her innuendo, Castle smiled. "Again, also your fault."

Kate shook her head amused then sat up, swinging her legs over the edge of the bed, and reached for a robe. Castle couldn't take his eyes off her body, still in disbelief about the events that had unfolded the night before.

"You're leaving?" he asked with a sense of disappointed in his tone. "You don't want to go for a round two?"

"This was not a good idea," Kate chuckled, wrapping the silken robe around her. "Besides, it was a one-time thing."

"Come on, Beckett! It doesn't have to be," Castle argued. "We can keep it meaningless and frequent. I mean, is it really a second time if we're just continuing from last night?"

Seeing him like this drove Kate crazy in the best way possible. Even though they had bit the bullet and gave into their wants the sexual tension was still alive. It would be so easy to just give in again and jump back into bed with him. But as much as it killed her to admit, she knew what had happened shouldn't have. She knew that there wouldn't be consequences for her if anyone found out, but that was unlikely the case for Castle.

Kate made her way over to Castle's side of the bed where she leaned down to him, their faces only inches apart. "For the sake of this professional relationship, I say we keep this less frequent as possible."

"Oh come on," he disputed in a low, gravely tone. "Everyone needs this kind of release."

The hungry look in his eyes told her everything she needed to know, making it impossible for her to look away. Without control her eyes darted to his lips then back at his lustful eyes once again. "I'm going to make coffee."

As she took a step back from the bed, Castle said, "Ah, I see. Putting some space between us because you're afraid you can't control yourself."

"I'm surprised you didn't need a file to tell you that," she shouted back to him as she left the room.

Castle lay there with a smirk on his face. He knew just as well as she did that she was fighting the urges. He also knew that she was right to fight them. He was never the kind of guy to use his job as a means of sleeping with attractive women, however some of his colleagues wouldn't be so courteous. But for some reason Kate Beckett had a hold on him and he couldn't quite figure out why. So much for not forming connections, he thought. Physical or not, he had crossed a line he couldn't uncross. He had to be sure he didn't make that mistake again or it could affect his job.

My job, he thought. He hadn't even considered how bad this would look from an outsiders perspective. How is it any different from a doctor sleeping with their patient, a professor sleeping with their student? His job could be in jeopardy if anyone found out that they had slept together. Panicked thoughts swarmed his mind as he sat alone in her bed.

Meanwhile Kate was lost in her thoughts waiting for the coffee to brew. She kept thinking back to what Castle had said, "everyone needs this kind of release". As easy as it would be to let this become a regular thing she knew that it would come back to bite her sooner or later.

"Kate," Castle said wandering out of her room in boxers and his loosely opened shirt.

"Hey!" she snapped out of her thoughts. She poured two cups of coffee and handed one to him. "I made you coffee."

"Thanks." Taking the coffee they accidentally brushed hands, but only Castle seemed to notice. Subtly glancing at her he said, "We should talk about last night."

Kate sat at the table. "What's there to talk about?"

Taking a seat beside her he continued. "It was a huge mistake. It should never have happened."

"I'm pretty sure we said that last night just before you lifted me onto the counter," she chuckled, glancing over at the island.

Ignoring her joke, Castle said, "If anyone finds out that we slept together then my job could be on the line. This needs to be kept strictly between us."

"It will be. I won't tell a soul," she assured. Noticing a change in his demeanour she asked, "Did I do something wrong?"

"No," he sighed. "I just can't afford to lose my job over a meaningless night of fun." Resting his elbows on his knees he put his face in his hands and groaned. "What have I done?"

"Okay, you're freaking out," Kate pointed out. She put down her coffee and gripped onto his upper arms to comfort him. "Hey look at me," she said. Once he was looking up at her she said, "You don't need to worry about your job, okay? What happened last night will stay between us, I promise."

"If anyone gets wind of it-."

"They won't," she cut him off. In an attempt to make him smile she pursed her lips and added, "It can be our very dirty little secret."

It worked. Castle laughed deprecatingly and shook his head. As a means of restraint he bit down hard on the inside of his lip. "You're gonna have to stop looking at me like that if we want this to remain a one-time thing."

"Neither of us said we wanted it to be a one-time thing." Castle glared at her earning a chuckle from Kate. "I know! I know! It was just a joke."

"So, we just go back to the way things were?" he suggested unsure whether she would be on board.

"Exactly. I'll go back to ignoring you and you can go back to ignoring me," she chuckled.

She didn't want him to suspect that she had doubts about her ability to turn back the clock. It wasn't that she had suddenly developed feelings for him, that was definitely not the case. It was more so that she now knew what she was missing. She had never felt this way about someone after sleeping with them, probably because she knew there would always be a next time. But knowing that she couldn't have him again was something she would have to try and learn to accept.

"You're pretty hard to ignore," he said with a smile.

"Well, I suggest you try your best!"

Castle was also having his doubts about moving past this. The one thing he told himself not to do and he went and done it. That being said he did not regret it one bit. His problem now was the fact that he knew how she felt, how she tasted. It was an experience he wouldn't change for the world and wish he could continue experiencing. She was a hard-to-say-no-to woman with a fire inside that made her even more attractive to him.

It wasn't just the physical element to what had happened, but he had tricked himself into thinking there would be no emotional side to it. He knew he wasn't in love with the woman, but sleeping together involves a certain degree of trust. Trusting someone inevitably leads to a connection which can't be avoided whether you sleep together one time or one hundred times.

"I think I'm going to go back to bed for a while," Kate said. "Because for some reason I didn't get many hours of sleep last night."

With a smirk on her face Kate headed towards the bedroom, running her hand across his shoulders as she walked away. Leaving him alone with his thoughts once again, Castle sipped away at his coffee and tried not to let his mind race.

After about twenty minutes sitting and staring into the abyss Castle's phone rang.

"Hello mother," he answered. "What? When? How did that even-? No, don't worry. I'll get there as soon as I can!"

Castle hastily hung up and dialled another number, getting through to a colleague in a matter of seconds. Once that conversation was settled, Castle ran out of the apartment.