I froze.

There were hundreds of them, maybe more. I wanted to look away, but I knew better. This was real; the walkers would not magically disappear. At some point I had been looking for so long that I couldn't see the threat anymore, I was just staring.

Glenn said that he and Daryl heard a shot, which meant that the walkers heard it too. How else would that many find this place? I was a thousand percent sure that the gunshot drew them to the farm. Even if the breaches had been fixed, that many walkers pushing up against the fence would bring it down instantly.

I looked to the others for answers, but they were just as shocked as me, staring out at the onslaught of walkers. We have to go, we have to go, we have to go. The fear taking over my mind wasn't enough to control my body to move away, as my eyes returned to the herd.

"Patricia, kill the lights," Hershel whispered.

Maggie turned and walked past me, following Patricia as she said: "I'll get the guns."

"Maybe they're just passing," Glenn suggested, "like the herd on the highway. Should we just go inside?"

"Not unless there's a tunnel downstairs I don't know about," Daryl shook his head. "A herd that size would rip the house down."

Great. We couldn't hide from the walkers, which meant we had to run or fight, but not even I was that naive. We didn't have the bullets to kill all of those, so the only option was to leave. But we couldn't. Rick and Shane were still lost in the woods somewhere—

"—Carl's gone."

My head snapped back to look at Lori, standing in the doorway, her eyes wide as she scanned the environment, probably looking around to find Carl. Her chest was rising and falling so rapidly, the panic apparent in her eyes. Panic which had now infiltrated my mind.

How could he be gone?

"What?" Daryl asked.

"He was upstairs," Lori said. "I can't find him anymore."

The last I remembered seeing Carl, he said that he would be upstairs and keep an eye out for Randall, but I hadn't seen him since then. Wouldn't he have seen the herd coming? Why wasn't he up there anymore?

"Maybe he's hiding," Glenn suggested.

"He's supposed to be upstairs," she exclaimed. "I'm not leaving without my boy!"

"We're not," Carol agreed. "We're gonna look again. We're gonna find him."

The two turned and sprinted back into the house just as Maggie came out with the gun bag in her arms. She dropped it on the ground before us, before taking a handgun and shotgun, before giving the latter to Glenn. She left everyone else to get their own weapons from the pack.

"Maggie," Glenn started.

She cocked her gun. "You grow up country, you pick up a thing or two."

"They got the numbers," Daryl said. "It's no use."

Part of me wondered why we were even considering shooting the walkers around the farm. More shooting would only draw more walkers. Even if we managed to kill a few of them, we definitely did not have enough ammo to kill enough of them to matter.

"You can go if you want," Hershel told him, taking a shotgun from the bag.

Daryl stared at him for a second. "You gonna take 'em all on?"

"We have guns; we have cars."

Andrea nodded, kneeling on the ground and rifling through the gun bag. "Kill as many as we can, and we'll use the cars to lead the rest of them off the farm."

"Are you serious?" Daryl asked, looking at Hershel.

"This is my farm," Hershel cocked his shotgun. "I'll die here."

Is he serious? Why would he want to go down with the farm? There was a way to draw the walkers away with the cars, so why sacrifice yourself? It didn't make sense to me, and it worried me that he would stand there and try to shoot all the walkers.

"All right," Daryl shrugged. "It's as good a night as any."

"Get to the cars," Andrea called out. "If we have to leave, circle back around and pick up anyone still on the farm. Maybe we'll find Rick and Shane too."

"Ace," I heard Maggie call my name, which made me turn around to face her, finally looking away from the walkers. She was holding out my gun for me to take. "This is yours, right?"

I nodded, taking my Beretta from her hands.

Everyone started running down, away from the house and to the cars. They were going to try and take on the herd, and as much as it scared me, I knew they needed as much help as possible.

I followed Daryl, tapping his shoulder as he turned to leave, "Do you want me to help?" I questioned.

Daryl shook his head, "Stay here for now; if shit goes sideways, get your ass off the farm."

I was hesitant, but I knew he was right, "Okay."

Daryl began walking down the porch over to where they were keeping the vehicles, "Don't do anything stupid," he called back.

"Ace," Beth grabbed my arm. "Come inside."

I nodded, following her back inside the house.

Daryl told me I should get off the farm if I had to leave, so I ran upstairs to Beth's room. My bag was in her room, and if I did have to leave the farm for good, then I wanted my bag.

I grabbed it from the chair, swinging the half-empty rucksack over my shoulders. I didn't have the time to check its contents, so I left the room with my bag on my back and gun in my hands.

Lori and Carol were running around the bedrooms looking for Carl, and as worried as I was about him, part of me thought that he wasn't in the house anymore. Maybe he went to look for Rick, I don't know.

When I returned downstairs, I saw Patricia and Beth peering out of the boarded-up windows. I saw the orange glow on the windows. I saw the orange light before Beth could even say why.

"The barn's on fire."

"They're headed for it," Patricia said, and I assume she meant the walkers. "Maybe Rick set it to draw 'em in."

There was banging behind me as Lori and Carol ran downstairs, and we all turned to look at them.

"I can't find him anywhere," Lori exclaimed.

"So maybe he snuck outside," Carol suggested.

"What do I do?!"

I felt awful. Lori was going through the same thing that Carol had gone through when Sophia went missing. Now, instead of her being missing in the woods with a few walkers around, Carl could be out there in the middle of a herd.

My chest tightened at the idea.

"He was here," Carol said. "He must've run off, maybe looking for Rick or went after Randall himself."

"Maybe he set the fire," Patricia offered.

"I'm going to check the shed," Lori said, walking out through the kitchen and the back door of the house.

I quickly followed after her, knowing that walkers could have also been coming from behind the house and the barn.

"Lori!"

She paused for a second, waiting for me to catch up with her, and we walked together to the shed. My gun was ready in my hands, but it was quiet, and there were no walkers on this side of the house yet.

"Come on," she said, running off in front of me.

I nodded, jogging to keep up with her.

"Carl!" Lori yelled out.

I wanted to tell her that she should be quieter, as we didn't know when the walkers would come to circle the house. Yelling would only draw them to us faster, and we were defenceless in this shed. But I couldn't at the same time, she was looking for her son, and I knew that telling her to be quiet would be one of the worst things I could do.

We walked back and forth through the shed, looking in every nook and cranny, "Lori, I don't think he's here," I said. "We should get back inside."

Lori was hesitant but nodded and grabbed my arm, pulling me back to the house with her. I kept an eye out for walkers that may have gotten around the front lines now, but still, behind the back of the house was empty.

We walked through the kitchen to see Beth and Patricia in the same place they were when we left. We turned when Carol ran up from downstairs, from the basement.

"Stay here," Lori told me as she and Carol walked to the front door.

I moved across the room to stand with Beth and Patricia, looking out between the gaps in the boards. The walkers were closer now, so close that I began to panic. My arm wrapped around the side of me, and my eyes widened.

Carol ran past the boards in the window, stopping at the front door, "Beth! Patricia! Ace! Come on, we have to go now!"

The two turned,and nodded before we all ran to the door. When we got outside it was more clear now just how many were actually around the house.

"Hershel!" I heard Lori yelling to my left, but when I looked over I saw that Hershel made no attempt to move.

I ran over to Lori, "I can get Hershel."

"Ace, no —" she grabbed my arm, but I interrupted her.

"I'll catch up with you!" I yelled. "I'm not just leaving him behind!"

I climbed over the porch railing, running over to Hershel. He didn't hear me as I called him, but he continued shooting and shooting. I tapped his shoulder, and he spun around, pointing the shotgun out, which made me duck my head down below the barrel.

"It's me! It's me!"

He looked at me for a second, but turned around to look back at the oncoming walkers. I slowly stood back up, staring at him, my eyes wide. Is he serious?! He was going to stand there and get himself killed for a farm that was gone.

"Hershel, come on! We have to go! Now!"

I looked over my shoulder, but everyone else was gone. Corpses were crowded, getting closer and closer, and over all the shooting and groaning, I couldn't hear anything. I had to brush the panic, and worry that built up in my chest because I needed to get Hershel to move, or we would both die here.

I grabbed his shoulder and tried pulling him around, "Come on! There's more cars! We have to go!"

He took a step back, but only because the walkers were growing closer and closer, "Get out of here! Just go!"

"I'm not leaving without you! Come on! We have to go! Please, let's just go!" I begged. "Everyone else is gone."

"Hershel, please!" I felt my face contort in desperation.

All I could hear were gunshots and growling of walkers from all around. His shotgun had run out, he snapped it forward and I pulled on his arm, begging that this meant he would be done, he could snap out of it and run.

Instead, he started walking backward, checking up periodically for the walkers stumbling closer, only to pull out more ammo. He was shaking trying to reload. I gripped his arm again, trying to pull and he only tried to shake me off. He was still moving backward, further from the ones coming closer, that was progress, but he still wouldn't stop.

Finally he had it loaded, he cocked the gun, raising it and yelling, "Come on!" At the walkers.

He fired the gun and I flinched at the loud sound.

"Her—"

I was cut off with hands grabbing me from behind, pinching and pulling painfully, I heard the gurgle of the corpse. The scream ripped out of me, but there was a bang and the walker fell to the ground.

Standing behind it was Rick with his gun raised, and a few feet behind him was Carl. "Where's Lori?" Rick questioned, grabbing Hershel by the shoulder. "Did you see Lori?!"

"I don't know what happened, Rick. They just keep coming. It's like a plague. They're everywhere," Hershel babbled.

"Lori! Did you see her?!" Rick yelled.

"She—she left!" I got out. "She left with some of the others."

Rick nodded at my answer, looking between me and Carl, "We have to go. Find mom and the others."

"I tried, he won't leave!"

"Can you drive?" Rick asked.

I felt my stomach drop, but I nodded. "Yeah."

"Go start the car," he placed a hand on my shoulder, before running over to Hershel.

I nodded, even though he was gone, and grabbed Carl's arm. "Let's go, quick."

We were blocked on the way to the car, so I held up my gun and shot at the walkers around the car. He climbed into the back, and I ran around the front, getting into the driver's side of the car.

I started the car, watching as Rick pulled Hershel towards the car. Hershel sat down next to Carl in the back, and Rick got into the car.

When he sat down, I made my move to drive off, but there was a bang on the window next to me, which made me jump. Three, four, five walkers banging down on the window, and I let out a yelp.

"Ace!" Rick yelled, which brought me back.

"Sorry!"

I lifted the clutch and put my foot down on the accelerator, and the car jerked as it pulled off.

"I thought she could drive?" I heard Carl ask fitfully from behind me.

"I didn't say I was good at it."

After putting the car into park, I frowned at the view in front of me. Rick had directed us back to the highway, where we'd first lost Sophia. Just in front of me, I saw the car that held the supplies we'd left for her, the white painted letters on the windshield were fading.

I took a deep breath, looking away and opening the door, I couldn't cry. Not about her, not about the farm, not about anything. Not yet. As everyone got out of the car, I discreetly sneaked a look at each of them.

Carl was looking around, but his expression was steely, focused. It reminded me of his dad. His brave face was more convincing than mine, I was sure.

Hershel looked like a wreck. We were standing in the street, in front of the car we'd drove in. I was only a few feet from him but he didn't seem to notice. His expression was withdrawn, tired—no, tired was the wrong word. Hershel looked done, finished. It was worse than how he'd looked at that bar. He was devastated, his expression glaringly obvious that he believed all hope was lost.

I was starting to believe it too.

"Wait, where's mom?" Carl asked. Carl's steely expression was falling as he searched around, before turning back to his dad. "You said she'd be here. We gotta go back for her."

"Carl—"

"—why are we running? What are you doing?" Carl's voice grew louder in desperation. He sounded mad, too, and I couldn't tell whether it was aimed at Rick or just a general frustration. "It's mom, we need to get her. And not be safe a mile away."

I looked around anxiously, looking for any signs of danger that would be drawn to his outburst. The last thing we needed right now was more walkers around, and for some reason, Carl hadn't understood the need to be quiet at that moment. I mean, the last time we were here, there was a herd.

Rick had the same idea, holding his hand out to shush him, "Shh, you need to be quiet, all right? Please."

"Please . . ." Carl begged, and my heart was wrenching at his tone. "It's mom."

Rick knelt down, hesitating. "Look, Carl, listen—"

"—no," Carl pulled away from him, then stormed off toward our car.

Rick sighed, before starting to follow.

"Rick," Hershel stopped him. "You've got to get your boy to safety. I'll wait here for my girls, and the others. I know a few places. We'll meet up at one of them later."

"He's not leaving," I said. "He's not going without his mum, I wouldn't."

"You'll have to convince him, you all need to get somewhere safe."

"Where?" Rick snapped, voice low. "Where is safe? We're not splitting off."

"Please, keep your boy safe. I'll hide in one of the cars, if a walker gets me, so be it—"

"Shut up," I cut him off with my teeth clenched. I kept my tears at bay as I glared at him. "Don't talk like that, we really don't need to hear that shit right now."

I turned away from them, angry at Hershel. He knew I wasn't going to leave him on the farm, but he was willing to just die right there in front of me, and now still, he was talking about just dying, like he had nothing better to do. If he wanted to wait here for Maggie and Beth, then he wouldn't have been so willing to die.

I found Carl on the other side of the car, leaning his back on the bonnet. He wiped his nose with his wrist when he saw me, I wordlessly took the spot beside him, leaning into the car.

"I don't want to talk right now," he ground out. I heard the sniffle and kept my eyes away. I wasn't going to embarrass or patronise him for crying, because I wanted to do the same.

"Okay," I said quietly. "I don't really want to talk either."

We stood with each other for a while. I could hear Hershel's and Rick's voice quietly talking, or arguing. I couldn't make out the words so I wasn't sure which. Carl and I respected each other's desire for the quiet.

I was called out of it when I heard some kind of tump. I looked ahead, seeing a walker several cars away, it was stumbling, bumping into the vehicles as it went.

"Walker," I whispered urgently, pulling Carl by the shoulder around the car. He obeyed without objection. I kept low, crouching and making my way to the back of the car. "Rick, there's a walker."

Rick turned away from Hershel, peering out past the car before joining us.

"Stay low, let it pass."

"We're not going to kill it?" Carl asked.

"We can't shoot it, too much noise." Rick explained. "We don't have the energy. No one's eaten, no one's slept. It's just one. Let it pass."

Hershel, Carl, and I followed Rick's lead. Moving around the car as the walker got closer. Once it began to pass the car, we moved back to the front.

"I don't know how much longer we can stay here," Hershel said worriedly, still quiet as the walker didn't seem very far away.

"I-I'm not leaving without mom."

Rick looked back at Hershel. "So we're just going to walk away? Not knowing if my wife, and your girls are still out there. How do we live with that?"

"You've only got one concern right now. Just one. Keeping him alive. Nature may be throwing us a curveball, but that law is still true."

Rick was quiet for a moment, only staring at Hershel as he thought. Without any indication of the decision he had come to, he turned around and knelt down in front of Carl, his eyes switching between the ground and his son, "Carl, it's not safe here. I'm sorry. We'll—"

I heard some sounds behind Rick, which distracted me from what he was saying. Like cars, the rumble of the motorcycle. It was the others, it had to be them. They were here, they made it.

Tapping his shoulder, I interrupted Rick from what he was saying, keeping my eyes on the highway as I watched out for the others, "Rick, shut up."

"Ace, we have to—"

"—No, Rick," I interrupted him again. "Seriously, shut your mouth."

Rick stood when he finally heard what I was trying to tell him. I saw Daryl on his bike as he drove past all the abandoned vehicles. Carol was riding on the back of his bike, as two other cars followed, driving closely behind each other, behind Daryl. They crossed over to our side of the road, and the second they stopped, everyone ran out and over to their family members.

"Oh, thank god!" Lori climbed out of the blue truck, sprinting over to Carl and kneeling on the ground to envelope him in a hug. Rick ran over to them, wrapping his arms around both of them.

Maggie, who was in the Hyundai with Glenn, ran across to Hershel and hugged him tightly, closely followed by Beth who got out of the blue truck Lori had been in. Glenn waited by the car.

Seeing everyone rushing to their loved ones made me realise how lonely I was, like some others standing around. I had no one to go to now, my dad was still gone, and I just had to stand there and watch everyone so relieved to find the families. I hated how upset it made me, because I should have been happy for all of them.

Rick stood up, Lori and Carl still hugging at his feet, "Where'd you find everyone?"

"Well, saw this guy's tail lights zigzagging all over the road," Daryl started, waving his hand back and forth before he said, "figured he had to be Asian, driving like that."

Glenn chuckled, "Good one."

"Where's the rest of us?" Daryl asked, peering around the group.

"We're the only ones who made it so far," Rick said.

Lori stood up then, looking at Rick, "Shane?"

Her voice cracked as she spoke. Rick could only shake his head, his hands coming to rest on his belt. They shared a knowing look that everyone could read, and Lori nodded her head in a sorrowful understanding.

Shane was dead.

"Andrea?" Glenn asked.

"She saved me," Carol said, "then I lost her."

"We saw her go down," T-Dog leaned his arms over the door of the blue truck, his head resting above the window's frame.

"Patricia?" Hershel asked.

Beth was crying as she spoke, which made my chest tighten, "They got her, too. Took her right in front of me. I was—I was holdin' onto her, daddy. She just . . ." she trailed off, burying her head in her father's chest. Still crying, Beth looked around the group. "What about Jimmy? Did you see Jimmy?"

"He was in the RV," Rick said. "It got overrun."

She cried more, leaning over with Hershel still holding onto her. I squeezed my eyes closed, letting out a shaky breath. I couldn't believe it. Jimmy too? So many people had died in one night, and I didn't know how I was able to keep it together as well as I had.

"You definitely saw Andrea?" Carol asked, looking between the people who were in the blue truck.

"There were walkers everywhere," Lori said, her head tilting to the side as she tried to remember.

"Did you see her?" Carol repeated.

There was a moment of silence that settled among the group, before Daryl turned to his bike, "We'll go back," he said.

"No," Rick stopped him.

"We can't just leave her," Daryl argued.

Lori shook her head, "We don't even know if she's there."

"She isn't there," Rick said. "She isn't. She's somewhere else or she's dead. There's no way to find her."

"So we're not even gonna look for her?" Glenn asked.

"We gotta keep moving. There have been walkers crawling all over here," Rick answered.

"I say head east," T-Dog suggested.

"Stay off the main roads," Daryl moved forward to grab his crossbow from the back of his bike, and that was when I noticed the walker heading towards us. "The bigger the road, the more walkers, more assholes like this one. I got 'im."

"Rick," I said tiredly, my eyes anxiously darting to the fuel gauge. "You're pushing it."

"I know, Ace," Rick replied, his voice on edge. "I've heard it four times now."

I sighed, leaning back into my seat, watching the trees as we drove past. My backseat driving was annoying; I understood that. But Rick didn't get the damage that using a car with near-empty fuel levels could cause: air could get into the engine and need bleeding, and dirt in the fuel tank sinks to the bottom, so it would be more likely to travel around the engine at low levels. If something happened, I didn't have the tools to fix it.

"It's been on red for the past hour," T-Dog pointed out. "She's right, don't know how much farther it can take us. Better make sure we don't get forgot," he motioned to the vehicles ahead.

Rick let out an audible and frustrated sigh, before he honked the horn and slowed to stop. The sound made me cringe with fear; I knew it was necessary in case the others didn't see us stop right away, but I still wasn't happy about making any kind of noise. I looked out the window for any signs of walkers around us, but there were none as far as I could see.

We all got out of the car, like everyone else ahead of us, and followed Rick as he walked down the line of vehicles to the bike out front. I was behind them, rubbing my eyes as I walked over to join the group.

"You out?" Daryl asked from the bike.

Rick walked over to him, "Running on fumes."

Everyone else gathered around, probably hoping to hear some kind of plan, but I knew there was no plan. Rick had been driving on red for so long that the only plan he seemed to have at that point was seeing if there was a car we could siphon fuel from before we ran out. I didn't blame him because I didn't have a better idea either.

"We can't stay here," Maggie said, her voice wavering.

"We can't all fit in one car," Glenn shook his head, looking back at the minimal vehicles we had.

Rick turned back to the rest of us, "We'll have to make a run for some gas in the morning."

"Spend the night here?" Carol got out.

"I'm freezing," Carl exclaimed in a quiet voice.

"We'll build a fire," Lori told him.

Rick walked over to them, taking his arms out of his coat and handing it to Carl. Seeing everyone else with some kind of jacket made me realise how cold it was; I left my hoodie on the farm, which left me in the thin jacket Maggie gave me. I had some other clothes in my bag, but nothing that would add to the heat.

"You go out looking for firewood, stay close," Daryl said to the group. "Only got so many arrows," he turned to Rick, "How are you doing on ammo?"

"Not enough."

Maggie seemed fed up, or scared, as she said, "We can't just sit here with our asses hanging out."

"Watch your mouth," Hershel warned her. "Everyone stop panicking and listen to Rick."

"All right," Rick said. "We'll set up a perimeter. In the morning, we'll find gas and some supplies. We'll keep pushing on."

"Glenn and I can make a run now. Try and scrounge up some gas," Maggie said.

Rick shook his head, "No, we stay together. God forbid something happens, and people get stranded without a car."

Glenn stepped forward, "Rick, we're stranded now."

"I know it looks bad," Rick said. "We've all been through hell and worse. But at least we found each other. I wasn't sure, I really wasn't, but we did. We're together. We keep it that way. We'll find shelter; there's got to be a place."

"Rick, look around," Glenn said. "Okay? There's walkers everywhere. They're migrating or something."

"There's gotta be a place," Rick repeated. "Not just where we hole up, but where we fortify. Hunker down. Pull ourselves together. Build a life for each other!" Rick snapped, shifting on his feet and turning around as he spoke. He sounded desperate. "I know it's out there; we just have to find it."

"Even if we do find a place and we think it's safe. We can never be sure for how long," Maggie argued, tightening her grip on the gun in her arms. "Look what happened to the farm. We fooled ourselves into thinking that that was safe."

"We won't make that mistake again," Hershel said.

Rick turned back to the group, "We'll make camp tonight, over there," he pointed over to some stone walls, what looked like ruins of a house or something next to a waterfall. "Get on the road at the break of day."

Beth walked over to him, "What if walkers come through? Or another group like Randall's."

Daryl perked up, "You know I found Randall, right? He had turned, but he wasn't bit."

Oh . . . yeah.

"How's that possible?" Beth asked.

I looked at Rick, but he remained quiet. His eyes met mine for a brief second, but he looked away, and I could see that he was contemplating whether he should tell them or not. The idea worried me, not because I hated the idea that dying made us turn, but because of the reaction I knew they would have over it.

"Rick, what the hell happened?" Lori asked.

"Shane killed Randall," Daryl said. "Just like he always wanted to."

Lori kept her eyes on Rick, "And then the herd got him?"

Still, Rick remained quiet. I knew he was contemplating telling them about the infection, not Shane, because it was the biggest issue. Shane died; however, what happened didn't matter right now. But I wouldn't tell if he wasn't going to, just like I promised.

Everyone was now questioning how people turned, and it would no longer be possible to hide that we knew. My only issue was how they'd react knowing we kept the secret from them when they all had a go at me for keeping my mechanic knowledge a secret.

Rick raised his eyes as he finally said, "We're all infected."

There was a moment of silence, and everyone turned to him. It was so much worse than I could have imagined hearing it from him now. We were all tired, scared, confused, and then that. I probably would have started crying if I didn't know about it already. No, I definitely would have cried.

"What?" Daryl squinted at him.

Again, Rick was quiet for a moment, "At the bar, this guy I shot . . . he turned. He wasn't bit; he just turned. Whatever turns people into walkers, we all must carry it. That's how Randall turned, and Jacqui in the nursing home."

"And you never said anything?" Carol asked.

"Would it have made a difference?"

Glenn took a step forward. "You knew this whole time?"

"How could I have known for sure? We didn't know them, what they'd been doing, where they came from. I didn't want to say anything, but now it's happened three times—"

"That is not your call," Glenn interrupted him. "Okay? When I found out about the walkers in the barn, I told, for the good of everyone."

"Well, I thought it best if people didn't know."

Rick walked away, storming off up the road and away from the group. I could feel Glenn's eyes on me, and he probably worked out that I knew about Tony waking up. I couldn't look at him, not wanting to face any questions like Rick just had.

A body moved in front of me, and I only realised who it was when they spoke, "C'mon," Daryl nodded his head for me to follow him. "Gonna get some firewood."

I only nodded in response, following Daryl out into the nearby woods to help him get the firewood. He was quiet while he worked, looking around for some dried up shrubs that Daryl said would be used for kindling, whatever that was.

We walked around for a little while, and after taking as much kindling as we could, we then began grabbing sticks and branches that we would use to make the fire. It was quiet, no walkers around, but we could still see the group and the cars, so we didn't go too far away.

"Here," he said. "Ya gotta carry 'em."

I wondered why, and realised that if he was carrying the firewood, then he would never be able to kill a walker that could have attacked us. He was more skilled in that area and probably didn't want me to fuck it up. Besides, he probably just didn't want to carry a heavy pile of logs and branches back to the group.

Holding out my arms, I watched as he dumped the first few into a small pile, getting bits of bark on me as the sticks rolled down to sit in my elbow joint, against my chest. We continued walking around, and he continued adding firewood to the pile until it was starting to get really heavy, but still we carried on.

"Ya knew, right?" Daryl asked out of nowhere.

I frowned, racking my mind to consider what he meant, "What?"

"Ya knew 'bout the guy in the bar?" He said, and my face fell. How could he have known? Was I that obvious? I was sure that Glenn knew, but he was there when it happened and knew there was a good chance I saw it happening. "Ya didn' exac'ly hide it well."

Daryl looked at me for a second, probably waiting for an answer, but I didn't know what to say, "Rick said he didn't want to say anything, and we didn't tell them in the bar because we were getting shot at and . . ." I trailed off, making myself stop talking.

If Daryl was going to be angry or upset that he wasn't told, I shouldn't just be giving out excuses for not knowing. Everyone else was mad that he hid it from the group for so long, and only yesterday I was getting yelled at for keeping secrets. There was no reason for him to feel any different after my excuses.

"I'm not mad."

I raised my head, looking over at him, "You're not?"

"I'm not happy," he said. "Hell, coulda gone the rest of my life not knowin'. Woulda suited me fine. Rick's right, though; wouldn't've made a damn bit of difference, 'less we got trapped with someone dying."

I nodded, "Yeah, it sucks."

"Ah hell," he scoffed, carrying on with his job. "What're ya gonna do? Shit happens."

"I think it's a little more than that," I said following him. "It's derailed everything."

"Don' matter," Daryl shrugged. "Nothing we can do 'bout it."

I didn't know how he could just accept it at this point, but he was right that we couldn't do anything. It seemed like no one could do anything, because not even the CDC was able to stop it. We just had to carry on with the added obstacles of corpses that wanted to eat people.

I hated it.

When Daryl said we had enough firewood, we walked back to the group who had moved themselves over to the ruins that Rick said we were staying at. Everyone was sitting around miserably, and we all knew it would be a long night.

I was sitting alone when we set up camp, trying to find some kind of heat in the thin jacket Maggie gave me on the farm. We were supposed to look for more Winter clothes but we never got the chance, and I was paying for it now. I was glad I grabbed my bag when I did, but most of my things had been left in Beth's room.

Glenn was across the fire with the Greene family. I would have stayed with him if he hadn't been so pissed about us keeping the we're all infected secret. I didn't want to have that conversation at that moment.

There was a sound that got my attention, making me look over my shoulder. I grabbed my gun from the ground next to me, pushing myself to my feet.

"What was that?" Beth asked.

Daryl pushed himself to his feet, crossbow in arms, "Could be anything," he said. "Could be a raccoon, could be a possum."

"Could be a walker," Glenn added.

Why did he have to say that? I looked at Rick, but he made no effort to find out what it was. I guess it didn't matter too much anyway. If it were a walker, then it would easily find us.

Carol stood up, "We need to leave. I mean, what are we waiting for?"

"Which way?" Glenn asked.

"It came from over there," Maggie said.

"Back from where we came," Beth added.

Maggie nodded, "Yeah."

"The last thing we need is for everyone to be running off in the dark," Rick said. "We don't have the vehicles. No one's travelling on foot."

"Don't panic," Hershel said.

"I'm not—" Maggie started. "I'm not sitting here, waiting for another herd to blow through. We need to move now."

"No one is going anywhere."

"Do something," Carol said.

"I am doing something!" Rick exclaimed, trying to keep quiet, but the anger was showing in his voice. "I'm keeping this group together, alive. I've been doing that all along, no matter what. I didn't ask for this! I killed my best friend for you people, for Christ's sake!"

I just stared at him.

I didn't cry, like I had expected myself to. As sad as it was, while Shane had an impact on me since I joined the group, lately he was different. In all honesty, it just seemed like he was gone, and that was it.

"You saw what he was like, how he pushed me, how he compromised us, how he threatened us. He staged the whole Randall thing, led me out to put a bullet in my back. He gave me no choice. He was my friend, but he came after me. My hands are clean."

I didn't blame Rick either. He'd killed in front of me before, and I knew that whenever he did, it was always necessary. Shane was dangerous; he killed Otis—he tried killing Rick on multiple occasions. I could see the toll it was taking on Rick, and I wasn't going to make it worse on him by blaming him for anything.

There was a beat before Rick continued, "Maybe you people are better off without me," he said and waved his hand. "Go ahead; I say there's a place for us, but maybe . . . maybe it's just another pipe dream, maybe I'm fooling myself again. Why don't you—why don't you go and find out yourself? Send me a postcard. Go on, there's the door. You can do better? Let's see how far you get."

My gaze moved down, and the awkward silence settled around. It was like an entire class getting told off by a teacher. When I looked up, I met eyes with Rick for a brief second as he looked at everyone around the group.

"No takers?" He asked. "Fine, but get one thing straight. You're staying, this isn't a democracy anymore."

I know this one took a long time to come out, and really I have no excuses. Just a lot of uni work overshadowed me writing a future chapter and so this one couldn't come out until it was done if I wanna keep myself ahead. Anyway, I hope you like it even though it is very unedited.