The Hazbin Hotel…
"Goddammit, I'm so fuckin' booooooooorrred..." Angel Dust grumbled to himself, flipping from channel to channel on the TV. He was slumped against the couch with his entire body taking up the whole entire sofa with a half-eaten bowl of cereal laying just a few feet away from him on a coffee table. The Spider had woke up just an hour ago and simply was trying to find something good to watch. However, much to Angel's dismay, just about most of the stuff that Angel found were pointless infomercials that made no sense, campy forgotten shows that likely came from the 60s and 70s, or whatever kind of crap 666 News was on about.
"Is there ANYTHING on here that's actually fuckin' worth watching?" The spider demon complained, his fingers almost growing numb to the constant button pressing. One of the channels that Angel flipped to a channel that showed a balding yellow demon with a tightly fitting suit who stood in front of an obviously-green screened background.
"HI THERE, I'M BILLY BILL BILLSON HERE! READY TO MAKE YOUR LIFE EASIER WITH ANOTHER POINTLESS PRODUCT FOR GULLIBLE IDIOTS LIKE YOU TO BLOW YOUR MONEY ON BECAUSE YOU'RE ALL NOTHING MORE BUT A BUNCH OF BRAINDEAD SHEEP WHO FILL MY WALLETS WITH A FUCK TON OF CASH FOR BUYING THIS USELESS GARBAGE!" The demon shouted in an ear-piercingly shrill voice, his finger pointed at the viewer, which in this case was Angel.
"Tell me this? Are you tired of having your wife get all over your case? Don't you just want some time to yourself? Not wanna get up and make dinner for those little shitbags you call kids!?" The demon exclaimed to the viewer, oily sweat dripping from his brow.
"WELL, BOY HOWDY, DO WE HAVE THE SOLUTION FOR YOU! INTRODUCING, THE WIFE SHUTTER-UPPER!" The demon shouted before presenting the product, which obviously looked like a gun.
"It may look like a gun because it is an actual, fully loaded gun! Just take aim and BANG!" He said, squeezing the trigger as the gun fired a shot with the sound of one of the crew members yelping in pain before falling onto the ground was heard off-screen.
"Looks like you won't be buying any jewelry anytime sooner! HAHAHEHAHEHOH!" The salesman yelled with a demented laugh.
"Bill, you asshole!" The injured, off-screen crewmember grunted. Angel merely scoffed before changing the channel.
"Tch, I know a generation of crotchety old men will be buying all that shit in a heartbeat…" Angel chuckled, continuing to flip from channel to channel. As the spider continued flipping through the channel, he felt something tingly graze his forehead. Not only that but strands of hair were starting to slightly dangle from above.
"Hey, what the hell gives?" Angel muttered, leaning forward a little before craning his head up. Much to the spider demon's surprise, he was met with Oogar gazing down at him.
"JESUS CHRIST!" The spider shouted, falling out off of the couch as his body struck the ground with an audible thud.
"Hi, Spider!" Oogar greeted while Angel slowly pulled himself up, taking in several frantic breaths in order to calm himself down.
"Christ almighty, where the fuck didja even come from!?" Angel said, placing a hand on his fluffy chest, feeling his heart rapidly beat against the palm of his hand.
"Look, you're hot and everything but… Fuck! Don't sneak up on me like that…" Angel grunted, the spider demon proceeded to get back onto the sofa before returning to his morning channel surfing. Oogar took note of the TV before him, his eyes widening as he then walked around the couch and towards the television with his tall and stocky frame eclipsing Angel's view of the TV.
"Hey, big guy. You're blockin' my view…" Angel said in a clearly irritated tone as Oogar turned his head.
"There are people in this box!" Oogar exclaimed.
"Dammit, forgot you're in the stone age…" The pornstar muttered under his breath. "Yes, it's a TV. It's supposed to be a form of entertainment but… Can't really find anything entertainment." Angle continued while Oogar inspected the TV that sat before him. The caveman proceeded to grab the television, lifting it up to his face to get a better inspection.
"I get it, it's new to you and shit but can you put it down already?" Angel groaned in annoyance. However, upon seeing Oogar lift the TV over his head, Angel quickly stood up.
"H-hey, what are you-"
"People in Box. Oogar free people!" Oogar said, preparing to slam the TV onto the ground.
"Wait, NO!" Angle cried, diving right over the table while Oogar threw the television onto the ground. Catching it in the nick of time, Angel caught the TV with his upper set of arms right before it could make contact with the floor. Oogar stepped back while Angel placed the television right back onto the TV stand, taking in some frantic breaths before hitting the caveman with a glare of frustration.
"God fuckin' dammit, don't do that shit!" Angel scolded.
"B-But People in box..." Oogar said.
"No, shit-for-brains! There aren't ACTUAL people inside of the TV, It's just… Just…" Angel tried his utter best to explain how a TV works but given how he was talking to a guy who's been isolated from modern society for a basically millennium, explaining something like a TV to him just seemed pointless.
"UGH! Look, I dunno how to tell you this but just don't go breaking shit. Okay? Vaggie was on my ass after I broke a vase and I sure as hell don't wanna get blamed for smashin' a TV by some prehistoric prick." Angel said with a grunt, aggressively poking the Caveman's chest a couple of times during his quick little rant as a means of driving his point clearer.
"S-sorry…" Oogar whimpered in response while Angel merely scoffed and rolled his eyes.
"Yeah, yeah, whatever..." Angel muttered, returning back to the couch. Briefly looking at the TV, Oogar trudged over to the sofa before sitting down.
"Hey, hey! The couch is mine!" Angel shouted but his demands fell on deaf ears as Oogar began to take his seet with his large frame taking a considerable amount of space on the couch, much to the spider's annoyance. He pulled his legs back to give Oogar some room, though he didn't necessarily do it out of kindness, it was mainly so he wouldn't get his legs snapped from the colossal weight of the beast's bum.
"Livin' with you is gonna be a pain in the ass..." Angel groaned, placing his legs on the coffee table instead. The spider continued flipping through the channels while Oogar watched with interest.
"What does magical people box do?" Oogar asked, pointing at the television. Angel let out a light chuckle from a bizarre phrase that the caveman used.
"Is what you're callin' it? Well, this is called a TV. It merely plays garbage on a screen that you either watch because you have nothing better to do or you just have it on in the background to fill out the deafening silence of your sad, lonely life. For me personally, it's a little bit of column A and a little bit from column B." Angel explained, his fingers constantly pressing against the remote button in hopes of finding something worth watching on the tube. One particular channel that Angel flipped to displayed a flaming background screen with the bright purple text's displayed on the screen that read:
"THE CHUGG SHOW: CALL OR DIE, MOTHERFUCKER!"
Blaring heavy metal boomed through the speakers of the TV, startling the caveman as he jumped back a little in surprise. Angel, meanwhile, cared less about Oogar's reaction as he was more focused on what was displayed on the television screen, his expression of boredom quickly transformed into a sly grin.
"Oh shit, here's a good one! This one's my favorite!" Angel said, pulling out his phone.
"What's this?" Oogar curiously inquired, lowering himself back onto the seat.
"Oh, nothing! Me and a friend o' mine fuck this guy on a day-to-day basis!" The spider giggled.
The screen promptly faded to black after the metal music ceased before quickly showing two demons who sat in a dark room. One was a small imp with broken horns, strands of black hair drooping down his head, and wore shabby clothing along with a pair of shades. Sitting next to the imp was a large red demon who was only dressed in a navy blue robe and a black cloak and as soon as the cameras started rolling, the bigger demon began to scream at the camera while a random phone number appeared on the screen.
"ARUGH! GODDAMMIT! THE PURPOSE OF THIS SHOW IS TO TELL YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP! SEE THAT NUMBER ON THE FUCKIN' SCREEN, YOU CALL THAT NUMBER, I'LL RIP YOUR DAMN BALLS OFF! YA HEAR ME!?" The red demon shouted in a gruff, southern accent all while giving the camera the middle finger.
"That's right! Call us and we'll fuckin' rip your balls off!" The imp shouted, basically repeating what the larger demon said.
"DAMN RIGHT! SEE IF YOU CAN HANDLE ME, THE KING OF THE ASSHOLES HIMSELF, CHUGG! RIGHT HERE'S MY BOY, GUNNER, AND WE'RE GONNA FUCK YOU UP IF YOU CALL US, MOTHERFUCKER!" The demon continued screaming.
"Yeah, fuck you up bitch!" Gunner shouted, repeating what Chugg already said once again. Angel's smirk grew wider as he then dialed the number that was on the screen while Oogar tilted his head in confusion.
"What Spider doing?" Oogar asked.
"Oh, nothin' big guy! Just the ol' timey tradition of crank calls." Angel laughed, putting his cellphone up to his ear. Just then, on the TV, the sound of a phone ringing blared through the speakers.
"Hey, we got a caller!" Gunner exclaimed.
"GET EM' ON!" Chugg demanded as his smaller accomplice to answer the call.
"You're on the air, bitch!" Gunner shouted.
"Hey lil' Gunner, still suckin' off that fatass you call a boss I see?~" Angel spoke into the cellphone, his nasal voice being heard through the TV as well while Oogar watched with interest.
"SHUT THE FUCK UP, AIN'T NEVER SUCKED A DICK IN MAH LIFE!" Gunner immediately retorted while Chugg joined in.
"DAMN RIGHT, GUNNER'S MY BOY! HE AIN'T SUCKIN' ANYONE OFF, BITCH!" Chugg shouted in defense of his acquaintance.
"And Chugg, I see you're still in good shape. Always got more warts on your scrotum than brain cells!" Angel said with a laugh.
"YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Chugg immediately replied, screaming at the top of his lungs.
"Oh, nice lil' comeback ya got there. Is it true you got more genital warts than brain cells pal?" Angel taunted.
"IS IT TRUE THAT YOU SHOULD SHUT THE FUCK UP!?" Chugg replied, flipping the bird to the camera.
"Hey, wait a minute… I recognize that voice, this is Angel Dust isn't it!?" Gunner said in realization.
"GODDAMMIT, NOT YOUR CUM-GUZZLIN' ASS AGAIN!" The larger demon yelled with frustration.
"Oh, finally got those gears in your head tickin'? I've been fuckin' with you for like months now, you should know what my voice sounds like at this point. Guess your dick ain't the only thing about your body that's small." Angel heckled, angering Chugg to an even greater extent as a visible vein began to take form on his sweat-glazed brow.
"YOU LISTEN HERE, YOU DICK-RIDIN' SUNNUVA BITCH! I'LL FUCKIN' BEAT THE SHIT OUTTA YOU IF YOU KEEP CALLIN!" Chugg threatened, pointing a large finger at the camera as if he were talking to Angel in-person.
"Hey, if you're tired of me calling your ass then why do you have your fuckin' number flashin' on the damn screen! You're basically putting up a giant neon sign as if you're askin' me to call you assholes." Angel sneered.
"SHUT THE FUCK UP, YOU CUM SLURPING DRUGGIE! IF YOU FUCKIN' CALL ME AGAIN THEN I WILL FUCKING TEAR YOUR ASS A NEW ONE. YOU HEAR ME, YOU MOTHERFUCKER!? I WILL TEAR RIGHT THROUGH YOUR ASSHOLE YA HEAR ME!?" Chugg boomed.
"Oooh, kinky! Then again, you're gonna have to try hard because my ass is about as elastic as rubber!" Angel taunted, his smirk growing ever-so wider. On the TV Screen, both Gunner and Chugg looked at the camera with a clear expression of disgust.
"THAT'S FUCKIN' DISGUSTING!" The loud-mouth demon yelled, grossed out by the thought.
"Yeah, that's fuckin' gross!" Gunner said, still repeating what his boss said like a broken record.
"GET THIS MOTHERFUCKER OFF THE LINE! IF I SEE HIS ASS IN PUBLIC, I'LL FUCK HIM UP GOOD!" Chugg growled with hatred.
"Yeah, fuckin' right! You're prolly just hidin' out in some building in the middle of the desert, too much of a bitch to show yourself!" Angel retorted.
"WHATEVER, GET HIM THE FUCK OFF THE LINE!" The demon demanded as the call abruptly ended. The spider demon turned off the TV before bursting into a fit of laughter. Tears rolled down his face as he tried to collect himself, his stomach almost feeling sore from the laughing.
"Who was Red Man?" Oogar asked while Angel's laughter began to die down as he wiped a tear from his eye.
"Heheh, no need to worry about him. He's supposed to be some kind of crimelord but really, he's just some big fat jabroni." Angel chuckled.
"Crime...lord? Ja...bro...ni?" Oogar said with confusion, these words practically feeling alien to the caveman.
"It's called modern slang buddy, I'd tell ya more but I'm no English teacher." Angel pouted, resting his upper-set of hands behind his head while Oogar looked down for a moment before getting off the couch and making his way to the exit. Just then, Charlie walked into the room with a stack of papers tucked in her arms.
"Hey, Angel? Can I ask for a fav-" Charlie, unable to react in time, bumped right into Oogar, who just as he was about to make it to the doorway. The princess of Hell fell rump first onto the ground while the papers in her arms flew out of her grip as they scattered across the floor. Charlie let out a disoriented groan while Oogar knelt down to Charlie's level with a big smile forming behind his beard.
"Hi, Charlie!" Oogar cheerfully greeted while a small, embarrassed smile formed on Charlie's face.
"Hehe... M-morning Oogar!" Charlie responded, rubbing the back of her head. She then quickly gathered her belongings before standing up, her little smirk turning into a bright smile.
"Alright, big guy, I hope you're ready. Because you've got a big day ahead of you!" Charlie said excitedly, bouncing a little out of sheer exhilaration.
"Yeah! Oogar ready!" Oogar responded, mirroring the same feelings of excitement as the hotel owner.
"Great! Because there's a whole lot for you to learn and I'd figure the first step is to help you be a little more familiar with your surroundings, which is why I've decided to have Angel give you a tour around the hotel!" Charlie exclaimed while Angel immediately sat up, turning his head over to Hell's Princess with an irritable expression on his face.
"W-WHAT!? Why me!? Can't you show em' how shit works around here, you own the damn place!" Angel shouted with frustration.
"I'm sorry if this is so sudden, Angel. But sadly, I'm gonna be fairly busy all day. I'm going to be printing flyers with Vaggie for our next outing." Charlie replied.
"Well if you're not doing it, can't ya just let Husk or Niffty do all that shit? 'Cuz I ain't babysittin' a damn caveman all day!" Angel whined.
"Husk and Niffty are busy doing their own jobs. As for Alastor, I'm not sure if I would exactly trust him around someone like Oogar." Charlie said.
"Oogar met Deer Man. Deer Man bad... He brings cold..." Oogar interjected.
"See? Angel, all I'm asking you is to at least show Oogar a thing or two about modern society. Who knows? Maybe this could even strengthen your bond with Oogar! I'm just asking you to do this one favor. That's all." Charlie said, trying her best to convince the pornstar.
"Look toots, I'm not wastin' my time with Fred Fuckstone over here. So you can just forget it!" Angel retorted, folding his upper-set of arms while his lower pair placed their hands on his hips. Charlie cocked a brow in response, gave out a small 'hmph' in response.
"You know Angel, It's not really a smart idea to talk about to someone who pays your rent. I can ALWAYS have you pay it." Charlie said smugly, placing her hands on her hips while Angel's eyes shot up from the notion. Grumbling with annoyance, Angel unfolded his arms and tried to tell Charlie off but seeing as how he was in no way, shape, or form of paying rent, the spider had no other choice than to bite the sour apple.
"Ugh, fine! Fuckin' fine!" Angel groaned with aggravation before turning his attention to the caveman.
"That's more like it. Now go on show him what this place as to offer!" Charlie said with a smile. Furrowing his brows in frustration, the pornstar could only muster a sigh of defeat.
"Come on, Captain Caveman, let's get this shit outta the way..." Angel grumbled, angrily stomping out of the room while the caveman followed behind.
"Oh wait, Angel! Before you go, make sure Oogar isn't exposed to anything cold." Charlie said before the two exited the room.
"Uh, why?"
"Just keep him away from anything cold, okay?" Charlie said with a small smile.
"Alright, fine. Whatever..." Angel replied, rolling his eyes. Charlie watched as the two left the room while her smile turned to a worried simper.
"Okay, this might not have been good of an idea as I thought..." Charlie thought to herself with a slight feeling of dread in her stomach. However, the Demon Princess simply shook off her worries, believing she was merely overthinking, before leaving the room to attend to her own affairs.
One Hour Later...
"Alright so... uh... here's ANOTHER hallway. Thrilling I know," Angel muttered while Oogar scanned his surroundings, weirdly intrigued by it despite this being the fifth hallway that he went down.
"Oh, and right over there is the pool. Though, it's still undergoing renovations. Charlie tells me there are some pest problems." Angel said, pointing over to the pool's entrance. Oogar approached the windows that were beside the door leading to the Hotel's lido, proceeding to stare out of the window. He saw the swimming pool that was filled with dirty water, with a few inflatable pool toys floating atop the surface. Within a matter of seconds, a large tentacle resembling that of a cephalopod came breaching out of the water while a low, booming howl could be heard from outside. The octopus-like tentacle proceeded to sink back into the water while Oogar let out a grunt of discomfort.
"Eh, not the worst issue this hotel has had. You should see the rats, they've got their own established society under the damn floorboards." Angel calmly stated with a shrug. The spider demon continued down the hallway while Oogar's gaze was mainly fixated on the window leading to the pool.
"C'mon, big guy! I ain't got all day!" Angel called out as the caveman promptly ran over to the Pornstar, slowing down the moment he caught up to him as the two made their way down the hotel corridors.
"Alright, we're gonna make a quick stop at my room. You can come in if ya want as long as ya don't touch anything, alright?" Angel said, making his way over to one of the doors. Angel grabbed onto the doorknob and proceeded to let himself in. Oogar followed along but forgetting how tall he was, the caveman accidentally bumped his head against the door header. Oogar awkwardly stumbled back while the spider demon forced out a small chuckle at the caveman's misfortune, as he lowered his head and began to squeeze himself right into the Spider's room.
"Heheh! Okay, maybe livin' with you might not be so bad. You'll sure as hell provide 'lotta entertainment, I can tell ya that!" Angel howled with laughter while Oogar merely looked at the Pornstar with a blank expression as he stood motionless by the doorway.
"Anyways, you stay right there. I gotta go put my makeup on." Angel said, walking up to his dresser before pulling open one of the drawers. He then started to rummage through clothes, phallic-shaped toys, and other miscellaneous junk.
"Okay, I really gotta organize my shit better..." The spider demon muttered under his breath. While he was going through his drawers, Oogar slowly moved his hand over to a lamp that was stationed right next to him as he felt an odd need to simply lay a finger on the modern appliance. But before he could get into physical contact with the lamp, Angel caught wind of what the caveman was doing and scolded him almost immediately.
"HEY! What did I just say about touching anything, buddy!?" Angel nagged as Oogar promptly pulled his arm back, putting both of them behind his back while giving the Pornstar an embarrassed smile, albeit concealed by his scruffy beard. The spider demon would return to searching through another drawer in hopes of finding his makeup. Oogar, meanwhile, remained as still as a statue before his ears then picked up the sound of a faint sniffling noise followed by a snort that would've come from a pig. The caveman would then feel something brush up against his leg, prompting Oogar to look down. His eyes were met with a small yet chubby pig rubbing its cheek against the behemoth's shin, the little swine showing quite an interest in the giant that stood before him.
Oogar was also intrigued by the little pig that was sniffing against his leg as the behemoth scooped the swine in his arms and brought it up close to his face. Getting a much closer look at the caveman, the pig reared its head closer to Oogar's face before letting out another snort. The surprise grunt took Oogar by surprise as he pulled the swine away from his face while shaking his head a little. Just then, Angel noticed Oogar holding the pig as his eyes widened.
"Hey! HEY!" He shouted, quickly running over to the caveman before snatching the pig right out of the caveman's hands.
"When I say don't touch anything, I MEAN don't touch anything! 'Specially my precious lil' Fat Nuggets..." Angel said, holding his pet pig close to his fluffy chest.
"Fat...Nuggets...?" Oogar uttered in confusion.
"That's the name of my pig and I don't want you even layin' a finger on 'em! Knowing what era you're from, you're prolly thinkin' about eating him!" Angel said, placing Fat Nuggets on top of his bed. The swine began to walk around in circles for a moment before resting on the bed similar to that of a dog.
"B-but Oogar-"
"Save it, pal! Just keep standing, keep your mitts to yourself, and don't eat the pig. Caphice?" Angel spat while Oogar let out a saddened sigh.
"Okay..." He murmured while Angel returned to his drawers, finally finding his makeup set along with a few brushes. The spider-demon started to apply a new coat eyeshadow, gently brushing it on his eyelid. While he was applying his makeup, he perked up to the sound of his phone buzzing which prompted him to grab the phone and proceeded to cradle it between his head and shoulders before answering.
"Talk to me." He plainly responded before the voice of a young woman came buzzing from the other line.
"Sup, Angel!" The voice said, The spider-demon immediately recognizing who the voice belonged to.
"Heya, Cherri. What's up?" He replied, closing one of his eyes to apply the eye shadow
"Oh, nothin' much. I'm simply stealin' some of Pentious' shit and he's PISSED!" Cherri said with a laugh while the sound of laser fire and Sir Pentious screaming his head off could be heard through the phone's speakers.
"You should totally come over. It's a fuckin' riot over here!" Cherri continued.
"Eh, I would but uh... Charlie's got me on babysittin' duty." Angel grumbled with annoyance.
"Wait, the hell do you mean by babysitting duty? Did Vaggie and Charlie have a kid or something?" Cherri asked on the other line.
"Nah, we have a new guy that's gonna be crashing at the hotel and Charlie forced me to show him around. The thing is, he's a caveman." Angel replied, finishing applying eyeshadow before moving onto eyeliner, carefully applying it to his lashes.
"So, is he like... from out of town or something?" Cherri continued to ask.
"No, I mean he's an ACTUAL fuckin' caveman. The dude lived most of his life under a rock and I do mean that literally..." The Pornstar said with a scoff before suddenly, a loud 'KABOOM' was heard on the other end.
"Oh shit, Cherri, you okay?" Angel asked with concern only to then hear Cherri's voice on the other line again, filling the spider with a sense of relief.
"Nah, don't worry! Had to blow some of Snake boy's egg fucks away. Anyways, you seriously livin' with a caveman of all things. Aren't they all, like, dead or some shit?" Cherri continued asking.
"Apparently not since I've got one standing in my room!" Angel mumbled into the phone.
"Well, why can't you just bring 'em over? You could show him just what we do in our spare time. Be better than showing him that old ass hotel you're livin' at... Also, gimme a sec." Cherri said while the shrill sound of laser fire blared from the other line. It was followed by the anarchist screaming 'SUCK IT PEN!' before another explosion rang out.
"Anyways, yeah. You TOTALLY need to bring em' over!" Cherri suggested while Angel cupped his chin, giving the idea some thought.
"Eeeh, I dunno about that. The dude will prolly go apeshit if I bring him over." Angel replied, finishing his make-up before walking over to the bed and sitting on it with the phone still held up to his ear.
"Aw come on, it'll be fun! Besides, It's been a while since we last met up and destroyed some shit!" Cherri begged.
"Hmm... Aw, screw it! Why not? Got nothin' else to do." Angel shrugged.
"Awesome! I... OH SHIT!" Cherri shouted as the sounds of Sir Pentious's evil laughter and mechanical whirring buzzed through the phone's speakers.
"The hell was that?" Angel asked.
"Nothing, looks like Edgelord busted out one of his toys. Anyways, I gotta run. Meet me around Snaketree Street, be there Fluffy tits!" She said.
"Will do, Sugar tits!" Angel replied with a chuckle, proceeding to end the call with a tap of a button.
"Alright big guy, change of plans. We're gonna be taking a detour to the city." The spider demon said, getting off of the mattress and making his way over to the caveman.
"Angel going to show Oogar hotel only. Why we leave?" Oogar asked with confusion.
"Well, simply put, Why don't I show ya more of the city? I mean, as Charlie said, it's best to get ya familiar with the settings, and who better to teach about what goes on in the streets than me!" Angel said, wrapping an arm around Oogar's shoulder.
"So, think you're up for it?" Angel said with a smirk, gently scratching the caveman's chin in the process.
"Oogar don't know... Cold might be out there." Oogar said with concern while Angel groaned in response.
"Ugh, fine. If it can get you to come with me then fine, I'll make sure your ass doesn't get frostbite. Okay?" Angel compromised, hoping that would be enough to convince the caveman to come with him.
"Hmm... Okay. Oogar come with Angel." Oogar responded.
"Awesome! Now follow me, we're sneakin' outta this joint." Angel said, promptly pushing Oogar out of the door before quietly tip-toeing over to a window. The spider demon looked both ways to make sure the coast was clear, proceeding to open the window and peer out. He noticed a couple of shrubs a large patch of grass from below as Angel proceeded to sit right onto the window-sill before pushing himself off, gracefully descending to the ground. The Pornstar managed to stick the landing while Oogar was intrigued by this as he then started to squeeze his way through the window frame only to accidentally trip and fall forward. The caveman fell at least three stories down, awkwardly flailing his arms up and down before landing directly onto a shrub.
"Ouch..." Oogar murmured, his comical fall almost making Angel laugh out loud only for him to quickly stop himself from giving away their position. The fur-coated behemoth would awkwardly tumble onto the grass, getting back up on his feet while shaking off any excess leaves or twigs that managed to stick onto his body.
"Alright, let's get going. We're gonna go meet a friend of mine and she's at Snaketree Street so let's get a move on." Angel said, grabbing onto Oogar's hand before running off into the city with Oogar being dragged behind for his second outing in the big city...
Snaketree Street
On the streets of Pentagram City, everything was unnervingly quiet. There little to zero pedestrians and the only thing that broke the silence was the sirens blaring and the booming honking of horns off in the distance. Making their through the city, Angel and Oogar had finally made it to their destination as the two strolled down the sidewalks of the designated street where Cherri was supposed to be at. Angel looked around for any sign of his friend before sighing with exasperation.
"Alright, think we got here a lil' too early... You don't mind if we just wait here for a bit?" asked Angel, resting on a nearby bench. Oogar nodded in response, sitting next to the Pornstar on a bench that was likely too small for him. The two demons sat in awkward silence for a brief moment before Angel broke the ice.
"So... you're from the stone age, right? Tell me, what was it like?" Asked the spider demon.
"It hard. Beasts keep hunting Oogar and Oogar's friends. Even when Oogar small. Oogar hunt them back."Oogar replied.
"Yeah, shouldn't be surprised by that. I mean, You guys deal with Tigers and shit on a day-to-day basis. Also is it true that you guys tried to heal each other by putting holes in their skull?" Angel questioned.
"Oh? Angel talk about Trepanning? Yeah, Shamans do that to heal bodies... Doesn't always work. Brain sticks out too much..." Oogar replied.
"Heh, figures! Besides, you cavemen were said to usually die at the ripe old age of twenty!" Angel snickered. "No offense."
"It ok. Oogar used to seeing people die..." The caveman murmured in response.
"Oh, damn that's... heavy," Angel replied, unsure of what to follow up with after hearing something like that.
"If it makes ya feel better, I'm used to seeing people die too and... Ah, fuck it. Nevermind." Angel sighed, briefly looking at the caveman before taking his eyes away from him.
"Uh... Y-you know uh... If you wanna get around hell, ya need to find a job. Take me for instance, I'm down with letting any weirdo climb inside for a couple of grand." Angel explained to the caveman the best way he could.
"Hell, you could definitely start work in the porn industry! With a bod like that, you'd make a KILLING in adult entertainment if ya ask me." Angel said to the caveman.
"Entertainment? Well, Oogar can juggle boulders. That good entertainment." Oogar replied, clearly not getting Angel's message.
"Oh! Oh! Oogar can balance six boulders on head too! Very good entertainment. Very good!" Oogar suggested with excitement only for Angel to give him a look that both conveyed annoyance and confusion.
"Jesus, you're such a Himbo that it hurts..." Angel groaned.
"Himbo?... Me not Himbo. Me Oogar!" Oogar declared.
"Dammit, I don't mean it like that! Basically, it's a-"
KABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!
Both Angel and Oogar were caught off guard by a sudden explosion that was just a few feet away from where they are. A small cloud of hot pink smoke filled the sky as several egg-like creatures dressed in suits came plummeting out of the smoke cloud. When their bodies made contact with the asphalt, their bodies shattered into a million pieces while staining the pavement with yellow blood resembling egg yolk. At first, Oogar entered flight or fight mode upon seeing this as he brought his dukes up for a potential brawl. Just then, Angel placed a hand on his shoulder as a means of calming the behemoth down.
"No need to worry big guy. She's the friend I was talkin' about." Angel said to the caveman, who lowered his arms in response. As the smoke cleared, the two demons looked up to see someone standing atop one of the buildings.
"HEY! CHERRI, DOWN HERE!" Angel called out, garnering the attention of the demon on the rooftop. The figure leaped right off the building, her fall being cushioned by roof awning. This demon proceeded to bounce right off the awning, performing a flip in mid-air, as it landed right before Oogar and Angel.
The demon revealed itself to be a female demon with pale-skin, a massive blonde pony-tail with pink and white accents, and a singular large red eye with an 'X'-shaped pupil. She was dressed in a red, single-shoulder crop-top and mini skirt along with torn black leggings.
"What's up fuckers~" Cherri Bomb said with a large, cheek-to-cheek grin on her face.
"Talk about good timing! I was wonderin' when the hell you were gonna show up." Angel replied, walking over to the one-eyed before pulling her in for a four-armed hug. Cherri immediately hugged back, lifting the pornstar off of the ground.
"How ya been, Angel? Haven't seen your ass in weeks!" Cherri exclaimed, putting the demon back down.
"Oh ya, know... The usual. Blow this guy? Blow that guy? Same as it's always been." Angel shrugged. Cherri then looked over from Angel's side to see Oogar staring back at her with a blank expression. as she broke away from the hug.
"Well, shit... Angel, Is this the caveman you were talkin' about?" Cherri asked as she broke away from the hug.
"Oh yeah, almost forgot 'bout that. Oogar, this is Cherri. Cherri, this is Oogar."
"Cher...ri..." Oogar murmured, trying to pronounce the cyclopean anarchist's name. Cherri walked over to the larger demon, circling around him as a means of checking him out.
"Well damn, look at the size of ya. You're one huge motherfucker!" Cherri said with a chuckle, turning to her friend.
"So, you tapped this Angel?" The Anarchist asked.
"Tch, I would have! The guy's too dense to get a fuckin' clue!" Angel replied.
"Angel no tap Oogar. But Angel did poke Oogar though..." Oogar interjected, the two demons looking at him with confusion while an awkward pause took place.
"See what I mean? Total Himbo, I tell ya!" Angel said to his one-eyed friend.
"No kiddin' there." Cherri laughed, while Oogar furrowed his brows with a mix of annoyance and confusion.
"Oogar not Himbo! Oogar is Oogar!" The caveman shouted with annoyance, prompting the cyclopean to howl with laughter.
"Fuck, this guy's hysterical and I love it!" She said with a chuckle, whipping a tear from her singular eye.
"Me not Hysterical either! Me not Himbo! Me Oogar!" Oogar yelled, Cherri laughing even harder as her friend joined in the guffaw.
"Alright, enough fuckin' around..." Angel giggled, coming to his senses along with Cherri. "Where's Mr. Whatchamacallit?"
Just then, the three demons felt the ground shake beneath them while the sounds of menacing laughter filled the air, laughter that sounded like it was being filtered out of a megaphone. The trio of demons turned their heads to see a large figure appearing from behind the buildings, revealing itself to be a giant robot that stood at an imposing forty feet. The robot had a flat cylinder-shaped head with a pair of soulless eyes and a pyramid-shaped mouth that was painted to look like a row of sharp teeth. On its head was an antenna that resembled a top hat while Its chest and shoulders were cube-like in shape with one gigantic fist on the left arm and a large laser cannon on the right.
"UNGRATEFUL WORM, I HAVE FINALLY FOUND YOU!" A loud, shrill voice cried from a speaker as the robot pointed at Cherri with its left hand.
"AND I SEE YOU'VE BROUGHT A FEW FRIENDS TOO! THE STRIPED FREAK AND... Uh... Hey, who is that guy?" The robot said, his bravado turning into confusion upon laying eyes on Oogar.
"A better question to ask is why don't you come out of that tin can and fight us like a real man, you pussy!" Cherri shouted at the robot despite it heavily outclassing her in size. From inside of the robot's head, a snake-like demon was seated at a control panel with a computer monitor that displayed the trio of demons from outside. The serpentine piloting the mech had long black hair that resembled the hood of a cobra with four pink eye patterns and was dressed in a gray and yellow suit with a matching top hat that appeared to have a singular pink eye and a row of sharp yellow teeth. The snake-like demon furrowed his brows at the three demons, most notably Cherri, with his top hat sharing the same look of anger as its wearer while the well-dressed demon brought a microphone up to his lips.
"OH YEAH!? Why don't you climb up my Stomp-A-Tron 5000 and fight me in here you explosive-addicted cad!" Sir Pentious declared, shaking a fist at the one-eyed anarchist. The Evil Inventor would turn to two of his Egg Bois, both of which were manning their own
"Both of you, deploy the Egg bois!" Sir Pentious ordered.
"Sure thing, boss!" One Egg Boi replied, immediately turning to his control panel and began to press a couple of buttons.
"Man, I really wish he would push me out of the robot..." The second Egg Boi said with a saddened sigh as he too began to fidget around with a couple of leavers on his control panel.
Returning to the outside, The robot's triangular-shaped mouth opened as an army of Egg Bois came leaping out of the hatch, descending onto the street with parachutes. Upon landing onto the pavement, The army of Egg Bois discarded their parachutes and came running forward with various weapons in their hands.
"Alright, big guy, why don't ya sit on the sidelines. Allow Cherri and I to show you how things are done!" Angel said with a smirk, pulling out a pair of Tommy Guns with one held in each hand.
"But... Oogar want to join!" Oogar replied.
"You'll get your fun later, now go hide behind that car over there!" Angel commanded, pointing over to a parked automobile that was situated across the street. The caveman sighed before running on over to the automobile and proceeding to duck behind it while both Cherri and Angel grinned, turning their attention to the approaching army of egg creatures.
"Ya ready, Sugar tits?~" Angel said with a grin.
"Hell yeah, let's fuck these shitheads up!" Cherri said with a laugh, pulling out one of her bombs before lighting the fuse. The one-eyed anarchist proceeded to chuck the bomb right into the oncoming crowd, the bomb going off in a massive explosion that either reduced some of the egg bois into a mess of shell and yoke or sent them flying into different directions. The surviving Egg Bois who were still kicking now had to deal with Angel, who unleashed a flurry of bullets from his dual Tommy Guns. One half was either immediately gunned down while the other ducked for cover behind nearby cars and trash cans. Meanwhile, on the far end of the street, Sir Pentious's robot came stomping down while firing a cannonade of yellow energy bolts from its cannon arm, forcing Angel and Cherri to scatter apart in order to avoid being blasted into smithereens.
The Egg Boi Army poked their heads from the vehicles and wastebins they were hiding behind before a few of them drew out ray guns of their very own, firing at the two moving demons. Angel narrowly avoided an oncoming laser beam as he proceeded to take aim and fire at the egg creatures. One wasn't so lucky as the top half of his head blown right off of its oval-shaped body while the others ducked down in order to evade the gunfire. Cherri, meanwhile, was in the same position as Angel as she found herself dodging and weaving raygun fire as she tossed one of her bombs directly at a car that some of the Eggbois were hiding behind, the explosive breaking through the glass of one of the car windows.
KABOOOOOOOOM!
Within a matter of seconds, Pentious' henchmen were engulfed in a fiery explosion as the one-eyed anarchist laughed with psychotic glee. However, right out of the blue, an Egg Boi came leaping out of a trash can with a wrench raised over his head as he swung to tool downward onto Cherri's head. However, The cyclopean was able to react just in time, spinning around and striking the Egg Boi with enough force to send him careening back into the trash can he popped out of. Cherri grinned as she dropped a bomb right into the can before knocking it over and kicking it down the street at a small group of approaching Egg Bois. Cherri watched as the explosion went off, sending the poor Egg Bois flying in different directions.
"HA! You shrimp dicks ain't got shit on us!" Cherri jeered, running off into another crowd of Egg Bois that Angel was warding off. Oogar watched the carnage unfold before his eyes, his head poking from the rear end side of the car. Just then, his head perked when his ears picked up a shrill sounding voice from above.
"Woooah! He's biiiig!~" The voice called out while the caveman looked up to see a few Egg Bois standing on top of the car.
"If we kill him, the boss might shoot us with his ray gun!" Asked one of Pentious' henchmen.
"OH YEEEAH! Let's do that!" Another Egg Boi said before he leaped right onto the caveman's head and began to beat him on the head with a mallet. Oogar yelped with surprise as he started to grab at the Egg Boi, trying his best to pry him off while the wooden hammer bashed against his cranium. Meanwhile, the other members of its kin began to fire lasers at the caveman, who somehow managed to weave around a grand majority of them despite the Egg Boi that was latched right onto its face. Oogar managed to pry the egg creature off of his face before chucking it right into a nearby wall, the Egg Boi's body going splat in an instant. Oogar proceeded to stomp onto the ground, resulting in a large boulder to spring out of the ground beneath him as the caveman proceeded to hurl it right at the other egg bois, forcing them to leap off of the car while the boulder took the vehicle's roof off.
"LEAVE OOGAR ALONE!" Oogar shouted with rage while the surrounding Egg Bois continued to pelt him with laser fire. Acting fast, Oogar narrowly avoided the laser fire before noticing the car with his sights mainly focused on one of the doors. The caveman immediately sprinted over to the roofless automobile before grabbing a hold of the nearest car door as proceeded to effortlessly tear it right off of its hinges. The Behemoth proceeded to turn around and brought the door up to his face and abdomen as a laser beam from of the Egg Boi's rayguns bounced right off the steel frame and back to him, vaporizing the egg creature in an instant. More lasers flew into Oogar's direction but thanks to his newly-found shield, their weapons did little to impede the caveman as he charged into their direction. The caveman raised the car door over his head and slammed it right onto the last few Egg Bois, smashing them into puddles of shell bits and yolk in the process.
"Hmph! Eggs think fancy toys can beat Oogar..." The caveman muttered to himself aloud, discarding the car door as he marched on over to the roofless vehicle and crouched down to witness more of the chaos that was unfurling in the streets. Angel and Cherri had decimated through the army of Egg Bois as the last two were crushed beneath the Pornstar's boot.
"Alright, think that's all of 'em," Angel said, wiping off the egg yolk on his shoes against the pavement. "Guess that means all we gotta deal with is that oversized tin can."
"Leave it to me, If anyone's good at breaking Sir Pentious's shit, it's sure as hell me!" Cherri declared, pulling out a bazooka. She rested the firearm on her shoulder before taking aim at the approaching robot, who was now halfway down the street, before firing. This was followed by a hail of bullets from Angel's Tommy Gun's, but both the rocket nor the bullets were enough to faze the machine as it's pilot laughed like a madman.
"Foolish cretins! My Stomp-A-Tron 5000 is made from pure titanium. Your trinkets will do little to damage it! Now, prepare for your destruction!" Pentious said with a psychotic guffaw, proceeding to blast into the direction of the two demons. While Angel was able to evade the laser blast, his friend was all that lucky as her arm got singed while she made an attempt to dodge. Cherri's body struck the pavement while Angel dove over to her, scooping her in his arms before bolting it right behind a nearby car. Upon seeing the two demons hide for shelter and realizing that there were no other Egg Bois patrolling the streets, Oogar had a new idea in mind...
"You alright, Cherri?..." Angel asked out of concern, checking to see if there were any fatal wounds that were inflicted on the Cyclopean's body. Cherri merely grunted, clutching her right arm where Pentious's robot scathed her.
"Fucker got a lucky shot on me, but other than that I'm fine..." Cherri said with a grunt, before briefly looking around.
"Alright, by the looks of it, this big ol' bucket of bullets is a lot tougher than I thought. Prolly gonna take some doing to blow this bastard up..." The one-eyed demon grumbled before a sudden thought came to her head.
"What I also wanna know is where's the caveman?..." She asked while Angel's eyes widened with realization.
"Son of a bitch, I forgot all about him!" He shouted aloud, kicking himself for neglecting the caveman. He poked his head from the vehicle he was hiding behind to see just where the behemoth had run off to.
"Fuck, just where... did... he..." Angel stopped dead in his tracks, his friend looking at him with confusion.
"Well? Did you find him or not?!" Cherri asked.
"Yeah, I did but he's running towards the robot..." The Pornstar muttered with shock. Upon hearing this, Cherri's singular eye widened as she proceeded to look over the car with excitement.
"Oh shit! Lemme see!" She shouted eagerness. As expected, she saw Oogar literally charge at the giant robot at high speeds while he let loose a primal war cry heading into battle. The Robot's pilot caught wind of the caveman as the bot rotated its blocky head over to the charging behemoth.
"Oh? Do you want a piece of me too, you furry freak? Well then..." Sir Pentious said before grabbing onto two leavers and shifting them forward.
"COME FORWARD! YOU'LL MAKE FOR GOOD TARGET PRACTICE!" The Serpent demon howled with sadistic laughter as the forty-foot tall robot came lurching forward. Oogar wasn't intimidated in the slightest as he grew closer and closer at the lumbering machine, closing the distance between the two in a matter of seconds. Extending it's canon arm forward, The Stomp-a-Tron unleashed a barrage of yellow energy bolts that came shooting down at the caveman. Much to Pentious's surprise, Oogar was a lot more nimble than he took him for as the caveman managed to weave around the projectiles with almost perfect precision. The robot still kept firing but it was not enough to impede the caveman as he grew closer to the bot's foot. Seeing as how The Stomp-a-Tron lifted a leg, it's foot hovering over the caveman, who had stopped the moment it got within stomping range of the machine. Oogar proceeded to open both his arms as if to say 'BRING IT!' while the machine's serpentine pilot cocked a brow with surprise.
"Oh? You WANT me to crush you? Well then, allow me to flatten you like a pancake, freak!" Pentious jeered, bringing the machine's foot down onto the caveman. Upon seeing this, Angel and Cherri ran out from the car to try and prevent Oogar from being smashed into a bloody paste but that never came to fruition. Instead of crushing the caveman beneath the robot's heel as Pentious hoped, the snake was left in awe as Oogar stopped the giant foot from stomping him into mush.
"BLASPHEMY! H-HOW DID HE-" Pentious' screams of disbelief were cut short as Oogar raised the robot's foot over his head, the caveman's hands tearing into the metal frame of the Stomp-a-Tron's boot. Oogar unleashed another roar and with one firm yank of his arms...
GRRRSSSSSS-TEAAAR!
The robot's foot was torn right off of its leg! Cherri and Angel starred with disbelief as Oogar throw himself back, letting the now footless leg of the robot awkwardly fall right onto the ground. Meanwhile, Sir Pentious was also stunned by the caveman's amazing strength but his shock would soon melt into anger while his hands gripping the leavers controlling the robot tightened.
"You... YOU... YOU UNGRATEFUL ANIMAL! DIEEEEEE!" Sir Pentious yelled at the top of his lungs while his robot reeled back it's left hand and swung down with great force. Oogar quickly discarded the detached foot of the machine before swiftly evading the oncoming fist of the robot as it slammed into the pavement, resulting in a car-sized crater form onto the street surface. As the Stomp-a-Tron removed its arm from the cement ground, the top hat-shaped antenna started began to develop an electric aura on its tip before a powerful bolt of electricity was fired into the direction of the caveman. Unfortunately for the caveman, he was struck by the electric blast, a pained scream escaping his lips as the blast sent him careening back several feet across the street. The antennae began to charge up another electrical strike while Oogar slowly got back onto his feet, smoke resonating off of his back and shoulders while some of his fur was singed by electrical bolts. The caveman took in several deep breaths, cracking his own neck to get over the pain.
"Alright, think we should help him or something?..." Angel asked, viewing the fight from a safe distance alongside his anarchist bestie. The Robot's hat antennae fired yet another concentrated blast of electricity into the caveman's direction, but before it could strike him, Oogar slammed the ground resulting in a large rock wall to shield him from the oncoming attack. While the wall did explode into smaller chunks of rock, it still managed to provide good enough defense. Oogar proceeded to leap from the remains of the barrier, swiftly grabbing ahold of one of the smaller boulders as he began to wildly spin around at high speeds, almost appearing a small tornado as he then hurled the rock right at the antenna atop the robot's head. The miniature boulder came colliding into the robot's antennae, shattering into pieces upon making contact.
"Nah... I'm liking where this is going!" Cherri commented with enthusiasm. Sir Pentious, however, was utterly furious.
"Geee, That hairy man sure is owning us!" One of his Pentious' Egg Bois commented.
"Yeeeah! Don't worry, our boss will surely blow him up with his raygun!" Another Egg Boi chimed in, hugging the tail of his serpentine leader. Pentious merely whacked the poor egg creature several feet back before giving the two egg bois an earful.
"SHUT UP YOU NINNIES! GET BACK TO YOUR STATIONS!" The Evil Inventor scolded, forcing the two Egg Bois to scramble over to their positions. Sir Pentious would turn his attention back to the caveman, who was once again charging over to the building-sized robot.
"GRRGGHHG... STUPID, FILTHY, NEANDERTHALIAN SCUM!" The snake demon screamed, viciously pounding at his control panel.
"WHY WON'T YOU JUST DIE!?" Sir Pentious cried with rage, forcing the robot to charge forward before reeling its arm back and slamming it into the asphalt for a second time. History merely repeated itself as Oogar evaded the attack just in the nick of time. However, upon seeing the mech's hand embedding its fist into the asphalt, Oogar came up with an idea. Acting fast, the caveman began to climb into the robot's hand, proceeding to climb atop its arm. The Stomp-a-Tron reeled its arm out of the asphalt while trying desperately to shake Oogar off, but despite the robot's efforts, Oogar was still clinging onto the machine's arm. Viewing this annoyance from the safety of the robot's head, Sir Pentious growled with frustration.
"Get off of there, you wretch!" The Serpentine shouted, his robot aiming directly for Oogar as it fired an incoming laser blast. Unfortunately, that was and move of Pentious's part as Oogar moved out of the way just in time while the bolt of energy blasted right into the robot's arm, causing it to fall right off before striking the ground with a booming 'THUD' for the whole city to hear. Pentious was once again left in utter shock while Oogar made it up the robot's shoulder before lunging right onto the bot's head. Oogar started to viciously pummel against the robot's head, his strikes beginning to dent its metallic frame. The Serpentine pilot of the robot began to violently fiddle with the controls, doing everything he could shake the caveman off. As a result, the giant robot awkwardly stumbled around while firing shots from its laser cannon into different directions.
"GET... OFF!" Pentious yelped before pressing one of the buttons on his control panel. This resulted in the robot's mouth hatch dropping down onto the caveman's head, striking him with an audible 'THUNK'. The door-hatch was just enough to send Oogar plummeting straight down onto the pavement, striking it back-first while a spider-web of cracks formed behind him. With the caveman on the ground, The Stomp-A-Tron pointed it's barrel directly at Oogar with the sole intention of vaporizing him into ash. A yellow glow illuminated through the barrel, Pentious laughing like a psycho as he prepared to finally kill this fur-coated freak who dared challenge him. But just as it seemed the caveman was done for, in a sudden turn of events, A large rock wall sprung out right beneath Oogar, the force of which sending the caveman's body into the air while the robot unleashed a laser blast right into the pillar rather than the caveman.
Upon witnessing this, Pentious's laughter devolved into primal screeches of rage as he began to violently pound on the control panel like a toddler throwing a hissy-fit. The pillar that the robot shot exploded into almost a dozen pebbles as Oogar landed back onto the ground, standing just a few feet away from the robot. Lifting his arm, Oogar slammed it onto the pavement resulting in a stalagmite shooting right out of the ground. Grabbing hold of the spike-shaped rock, Oogar stomped onto the ground that resulted in a new pillar to launch him into the air once more. Reeling his hand back, Oogar chucked the stalagmite as hard as he could with the spike-shaped rock raced through the air before lodging itself right into the barrel of the canon. Pentious would make an attempt to mow the caveman down with a plethora of laser fire but because of the stalagmite that was wedged into the barrel, the gun was jammed completely.
"COME ON, YOU STUPID PIECE OF JUNK! WORK!" The Evil Inventor cursed, viciously slamming down on one of the buttons on his control board. However, Pentious should've thought twice because right before he had any time to process...
KABOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!
The serpentine's eyes bulged out of their sockets as the machine's laser cannon exploded into a mess of metal shrapnel sprinkled onto the streets. Oogar was a safe distance away from the explosion as he made his way over to the giant amputated arm of the Stomp-A-Tron 5000, proceeding to hoist it right over his head. From inside the robot's head, Pentious felt a cold sweat run down his back as his body started to quiver in fear, his teeth even started to chatter.
"Oh sugar honey iced tea..." The snake demon whimpered, knowing that there was no feasible way to defend himself from what was about to unfurl. Using all the strength he had in his body, Oogar would chuck the robot's amputated arm right into its chest. The fist tearing a huge hole right through its pectoral region before shooting right out of its back in the process. The Stomp-a-Tron stumbled for a moment before ultimately keeling over onto its front side, the impact of the robot's body striking the pavement being audible throughout the city.
Knowing that he was victorious over the machine, Oogar unleashed a booming roar of victory while simultaneously beating his chest much akin to a gorilla. On the other side of the spectrum, Cherri and Angel both starred in awe of what had unfolded before their very eyes. The two demons quickly ran up to the caveman, who was still gazing upon the decimated remains of Sir Pentious's robot.
"Dumb giant man. Attack with pretty lights. Pretty lights can't stop Oogar!" The Behemoth said with a huff, turning to see the chaotic duo standing before him. Cherri and Angel were still both awestruck but the one-eyed anarchist
"That... was... FUCKING AWESOOOOOOME!" Cherri shouted with excitement.
"Holy shit, Oogar! You fuckin' destroyed his ass!" Angel exclaimed, looking upon the wreckage that was once the Stomp-a-Tron 5000.
"Yo, did you see the part where he fuckin' ripped the robot's foot off! A-and then he had him blow his arm off and shit!" Cherri continued to geek out, recapping the events that had unfurled during the battle.
"Angel, bro, we should TOTALLY have this guy join our crew! I mean, we did talk about having a third dude right?" Cherri asked.
"Hmm... Well, after seeing what this fucker can do, I'm down with it! Whattaya think, big guy? Wanna be part of our lil' team?" Angel suggested to the caveman, who paused for a moment while stroking his beard.
"Oogar not sure. Charlie might not like." Said the caveman.
"Aw come on man, it'll be fun!" Angel replied. As the three demons had their discussion, they failed to see the now-downed robot open its mouth, and crawling out of the robot's maw was none other but it's pilot, Sir Pentious. His outfit torn and tattered and his body had scuff marks and bruises all over. The snake demon weakly crawled out of the robot's mouth, his body plopping onto the pavement before looking up, his pained look transforming into a furious glare. His sights were mainly set on Oogar, his rage practically reinvigorating the serpentine's body.
"Low-down dirty creature... HOW DARE YOU WRECK MY BEAUTIFUL CREATION!..." Sir Pentious thought to himself, slowly getting back up.
"I'LL SHOW YOU... I'LL SHOW YOU WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU HUMILIATE THE ONE AND ONLY, SIR PENTIOUS!" And just like that, The Evil Inventor raced forward with a burst of energy. Drawing closer and closer at his target, his teeth and fist tightly clenched. The Serpent unleashed an enraged screech, one that caught the attention of the three unsuspecting demons, as the snake lunged forward and struck the caveman right in the chest as hard as he could...
CRACK!
...Only for his hand to immediately break against Oogar's sturdier frame.
"OWIE! OWIE! OWIE! OWIE! OWIE! OWIE!" Pentious cried, recoiling his hand back in pain. However, Sir Pentious decided to switch tactics as he threw himself against Oogar's abdomen with his arms wrapping around the larger demon's waist as he attempted to bring him down through brute force alone.
"Oh? Snake want hug? Oogar give hug!" The caveman happily said. Before Sir Pentious had a chance to react, the snake found himself in a powerful embrace with the warm hairy arms of the caveman wrapped around his back.
"H-hey! Let go of Me-EEEEEEYOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!" Sir Pentious unleashed an ear-piercing shriek of pain as the caveman's hug crushed his spine like a stick. Upon being let go, The Evil Inventor's broken body fell right onto the asphalt as a raspy groan of pain escaped his lips.
"O-Okay... huff... hufff... I'm gonna call this a temporary retreat... But mark my words, fiends! You haven't seen the last of Sir Pent-OW!" Sir Pentious's declaration turned to another pained shriek the moment he tried to lift the upper half of his body. Just then, several Egg Bois came running into the scene as they then placed their master onto a stretcher. Pentious's body was lifted off the ground before The Egg Bois ran off with their injured master, disappearing once they turned down a street corner.
"...Well, that just happened." Angel said, smacking his lips.
"Anyways, I think it's time we bounce. Oogar and I are gonna head back to the Hotel, here's hoping Charlie and Vaggie don't get suspicious. Anyways, see ya on the flip side, Cherri!" Angel said, waving goodbye to his friend.
"Alrighty, catch ya later Angel! Nice meetin' ya Ooga Booga guy, hope to see you soon!" Cherri said.
"ME NOT OOGA BOOGA GUY... Me... Oogar give up." The caveman uttered. The three demons would go their separate ways, with Oogar and Angel making their way back to the hotel.
"Alright, we need to get back to the hotel and fast. I'll be damned if I gotta listen to another lecture from Charlie..." Angel muttered.
"Oh! Oogar get us there fast!" Said the caveman before grabbing onto Angel and lifting him over his head, much to the spider demon's surprise.
"H-hey! What the fuck are you-" Angel was then interrupted when Oogar began sprinting down the street as fast as he could with the Pornstar raised above his head.
"Walk won't do. Oogar get there fast!" Oogar exclaimed.
"You prehistoric prick! LET GO O' ME!" Angel shouted but Oogar elected to ignore his pleas as he raced through the streets of Pentagram City. Unbeknownst to the two, however, someone was watching him. Standing atop the rooftops was the ghostly apparition, who gazed at the caveman bolting through the city streets before letting out a distorted chuckle.
"̛̥͖̰̠̫̹ͅI̢̥̮ ̘͈̳͡s̤͡ee͇͕̤͕̰̪ ̖ǵr̤̫̘̮̟͇̣e̹̟̩a̟̲t̩͈̥̰̝͘ ͈͉̤p͈͡o̢̖̜̯̣t̳͕̪̹͡e̶̺͍n̷̻̥̤̗̝͔tia̱̝ḽ̵̯̜̲ ̩͈̘ͅí̮̘͇̼ͅn̵̼̣̮̣ ̻̗̻̱̰̦̭ỵ͟ͅo̮̞͎u̶,̯̞̯̝̯̕ ͍͔̮̳̖͢m̯̞̝̟̼y̵ ͔͉v̨̲͍̹̣e͎̤̤͢s̠͈̬̼͝s͙e͚̜̠l̀.̰͚̙̰͈ I̫̲̦͉̹̮ͅ ̪͚̞̖̰͇̙h͙̪̺̩̞̣o̤̙̜͇p̀e͈̭̥̪͠ ̛͈̹̱̳͉̲͈t̢̝̩o̖͓ͅ ͕s̰͖̳̦é̼̘̳͔ͅe̱ ͔̥̜̜͍̟̰m̙̱͈̙o͏̬͖̬̩̹͙ͅr̦͕͔͉e̱̻̼̳̳ ̨̙̦o̳̲͕͝f̖͙̝̞ ̱̳͘j̩͉̪͓͈̯͡us̱̝̺͇͚t͍̙̞͍̤̠̹ ҉͚͚̜͓̺̯w̯̤̩ͅẖ̨̻a̵̜̣̝͎̣t͙̥͞ ͙̺̦̬y̖͉͉̭o̺̳̗͈̜͈u̲̹̮͞ ̹͙̥͕̻͙͇à͕͉̯r̜̖̖̺͙̳e̥͇̞̝ ͉͖̜̗̠͝c͝a͡p̶̘a̰̬b҉͍̫͔̭͎ͅl̷e̝̥ ͚͈̥̬o͇̦͕̮f̡̤͓̯̘͔͕ͅ.͈.̤̼̯̬͙͚ͅ.͇͎̦"̫͝