Millions of Years Ago…
A horn-like blare woke Dag from his sleep, his heavy eyes opening before he steadily picked himself off the ground. Rubbing his eyes, Dag cricked his neck before retrieving his helmet spear. He made his way to the hut's opening and peeked through the doorway, witnessing his fellow tribesmen emerging from the safety of their huts to the sound of the horn. Dag knew the meaning behind this early call, sighing with a mixture of exhaustion and annoyance. Before Dag could march out of his hut, he heard a quiet groan from behind.
Turning his head, Dag spotted Oogar laying in his own respective bed with his back turned. The younger tribal was still fast asleep despite the baritone siren, making his foster brother sigh with annoyance. Approaching his sleeping partner, Dag tapped Oogar on the head with the blunt end of his spear prompting the neanderthal to rise from his slumber. Oogar awoke with a low yawn though he wasn't given a moment to regain his bearings for Dag nudged him a second time on the back. "Get up Oogar!" Dag demanded in a rather harsh tone, the neanderthal turning his head over to his fellow tribesman, who was gesturing over to the hut's opening.
"Come. Now." The scrawny tribal said before turning to the doorway, making a brisk exit. Confused, Oogar scrambled for his spear before quickly following after his brother, nearly tripping over once or twice in the process. Shambling from his huts opening, Oogar turned his head toward the horn. The source of the noise came from the center of the settlement where tribals all gathered around in anticipation. Confused, Oogar stepped away from his hut's threshold and approached the crowd, looking over the heads and shoulders to see what had their attention.
Unable to get a good enough view, Oogar slipped into the throng. Oogar awkwardly scooted his way through the densely-packed horde, jostled about by the elbows of his fellow tribals with a few rudely shoving him to the wayside for bumping into them. After awkwardly maneuvering his way through the crowd, Oogar came stumbling out from the pack. Regaining his footing, Oogar's head craned up to finally see what had brought everyone over here in the first place.
Standing in the heart of the settlement was Urgora, blowing into a mammoth tusk that she had fashioned into an olifant. The tribe leader blew into the tusk horn one last time, now holding the entire tribe's attention as she removed her lips from the olifant and strapped it against her waist.
"My children! The cold is coming, the time for migration is close!" She announced with a booming and firm voice, ensuring every tribal was listening closely.
"We have only three days to prepare. We must gather much food as possible for our trip." Urgora said before extending her arm out, pointing north.
"A mammoth herd was spotted up north. We must bring as much food as we can." The tribal leader said, turning her attention back to her clan. Veteran members were relatively unfazed by this announcement, they've been part of this tribe for so long and knew that they couldn't stay in the same space forever. Especially considering the treacherous lands that they so walked on, they knew it was only a matter of time to move on to the next place.
However, for the most recent additions to the tribe, this was terrifying news. They already were aware of the harsh climate and the savage beasts that could kill them if they lower their guard for even just a moment. To risk it all through a trip, making their way through unmarked territory with certain death awaiting at the slightest misstep worried them greatly. Though some were scared by this thought, none were as terrified as Oogar was.
"Ugora know that it will be hard. But we must stand strong. Keep pushing for a great future." The chief encouraged, instilling hope and determination amongst her tribe.
"Know that whenever the world brings us harm. We will stay together. Under the sun and moon, we are all one!" Urgora continued, several tribals, including Dag, all cheered on their fearless leader. The chieftain triumphantly raised her clawed gauntlets over her head. "WE WILL NOT SHOW FEAR OR COWARDICE! WE WILL FIGHT AS ONE EVEN IN THE GREATEST DANGER! WE ARE NOT JUST HUNTERS, WE ARE WARRIORS!"
Urgora unleashed a booming scream to which her tribe followed in suit, holding their weapons up to the heavens while a vicious cacophony of hollering filled the air. Though, even in this moment of resolution and pride, Oogar said not a word. The cheering around him seemed to dull out into an endless ringing. His heart started beating at a frantic, uneven rate while his legs grew shaky and his breathing became heavy. The talk of migrating for the winter and the great mammoth hunt opened a scar, one that lead him back to that horrible night that his mind desperately tried to dull out.
The ice-ridden canyon, the booming roar of a beast, and the sight of his father disappearing into the abyss. It was all coming back. That wasn't the only thing that had the young neanderthal petrified with fear. He had already witnessed his mother and father die at the hands of the cold. However, even in this great loss, he still had a family even if it wasn't of his own blood. To watch the same fate befall them was a picture that haunted his mindscape.
One that left him dreading the future.
The Hazbin Hotel...
Hauling the last bit of luggage for their visit out onto the hotel's porte-cochère, Charlie sighed content before waiting by the front entrance for her son and girlfriend. A ride had been sent out by her parents to deliver them to their estate and Charlie wanted to make extra sure that everyone was ready for the trip. The demonic princess was quite antsy about this visit, for it had been ages since she last came to her childhood home so it would've been exciting to set foot in it once again. Though, despite her eagerness, there was a lingering worry for Oogar and Vaggie would be treated and viewed by the others.
Granted, Lucifer still gave Vaggie his blessings for marriage and he even expressed wanting to speak with her another time and surely her mother would feel the same way. However, regardless of how her parents viewed them, they were still Sinner demons and Charlie had lived in Hell's upper-class long enough to know that they didn't look upon them in a positive light. Despite her doubts, Charlie remained hopeful for her new family, believing they were sure to make a good first impression.
"Come on guys, the chariot should be here any minute!" Charlie called out to her loved ones, from inside the hotel the sounds of grunting, loud thumping, and the screech of wooden floorboards as though something heavy was being dragged along the floor were audible to the demonic princess.
"Hnngh... Hold on a second, hon. We're just... nggghhh... getting Oogar's luggage out." Vaggie replied in between grunts. Suddenly, a loud 'CRASH' rang out followed by a pained scream courtesy of Husk.
"Why... in fucks name... WOULD YOU PACK ROCKS!?" Husk shouted.
"Oogar want to show Grandpa his rock collection!" The caveman said with a whine.
"Son, we talked about this. You were only allowed to bring two rocks for the trip." Vaggie sternly replied.
"BUT TWO ROCKS ARE NOT ALL THE ROCKS!" Oogar retorted.
"No buts, Señor! Two rocks, take it or leave it..." The hotel manager firmly responded, her son letting out a dog-like whimper in response. Reluctantly, Oogar lightened the load down to two rocks while leaving the rest in Husk's care before wheeling his suitcase out of the front door. Vaggie was the second to exit the hotel, carrying a valise of her own.
"Okay, we're ready now," Vaggie said before using her other free hand to check her phone. "And right on time too. Thank god."
"Great! Our ride should be arriving real soon so we're in the clear. Oogar, did you pack everything you need?" Charlie asked the Neolithic demon, who was casually leaning against his suitcase. The caveman leaned forward a bit, causing his suitcase to roll away, leading the behemoth to latch onto it in order to stop his fall.
"WOAH!... Errr... Yeah! Oogar got everything! Oogar even brought in backups in case Oogar forget!" The mammoth demon said with a thumbs up, before reaching into his hide. In his search, however, he swore he could hear child-like giggling coming from his chest. Shrugging it off, Oogar quickly pulled out a toothbrush from his torso albeit with clumps of hair stuck in the bristles. Realizing this, the caveman carefully picked the hair from the tufts.
"Errr... Hope Oogar did remember..." He muttered out while Charlie managed out a light chuckle, she could certainly see some of her influence had shone off on her son. Just then, the front door to the hotel opened, and out came Alastor, his dreadful aura already tipping off his mutuals to his arrival.
"Greetings, chums! I figured I would take it upon myself to bid you all farewell on your visit!" Alastor said with a respectful bow and smile. Oogar and Vaggie merely sneered at the Radio Demon's cordial goodbye, believing it to be disingenuous, though Charlie did smile back.
"Thank you, Alastor!" The demonic princess said before approaching her devious business partner. "Anyways, you'll make sure to keep everything at the hotel in order while we're away, right?"
"You have my solemn pledge, my dear! I'll keep this rinky-dink establishment in the tippest and toppest shape imaginable." Alastor vowed with a hand on his heart, though Vaggie had had a hard time believing his oath.
"On the condition that you don't hurt, kill, or eat anyone while we're away..." Vaggie interjected, folding her arms. Alastor raised a brow at her response before bursting into laughter.
"Kill? Ohoho, no! I'd never! If anyone acts out of line, they'll be treated to a stern talking-to. Though if they violate the rules a second time..." The Radio Demon chuckled before his face suddenly morphed into an unsettling grin while his voice turned garbled and staticky. "̸̡Į'͏͡ll ͘͟j̢u̡s͏̧t ͟͞k͡i̡ǹd̡͡l͟ý̧̨͟pȩ̶r̴s͏u̴a͘͢d͘e͝͏̛ ̸̧̡t͝h̵̢e̴m͞."͏
"...Uh-huh..." Charlie said, sharing an uncomfortable glance with Vaggie. "Maybe have that as a... last resort..."
"Very well. But that's a promise I won't one-hundred percent guarantee." Alastor calmly replied before turning to the front entrance and sauntering his way back into the hotel.
"Now then, I'll be out of your hair. But before I go... Vaggie, Oogar?" The Radio Demon said, glancing over his shoulder with a sinister smirk.
"What?" Vaggie asked rudely while the caveman tensed up, holding onto the assumption that the radio host had something malicious in mind.
"I wish you the best of luck on your trip, the royals will certainly be quite baffled when they see you two set foot in the castle after all." Alastor said with a slight giggle before promptly leaving the trio on their own merry way.
"Tch. Like I need your adulations, asshole." Vaggie scoffed while Oogar took a step forward, slapping his chest before snarling at the deer-like demon. Charlie approached the two and rested a hand on their backs.
"Don't listen to him, he's only trying to deter you is all. It'll be fun, I promise! After they get to know you two, my parents will surely enjoy your company." Hell's Princess encouraged with a bright smile. Despite Al's vague warning and their inner doubts, Oogar and Vaggie were still hopeful in this ball. They at least hoped they didn't run into any issues for tonight. Suddenly, the grumble of an engine was heard off in the distance, and by the sound of it, it was heading towards the hotel.
"And would you look at that, our ride is here!" Charlie said before grabbing onto her suitcase, eagerly awaiting their chauffeur. Riding along the porte-cochère was a small, beaten-up motorboat with a fine coat of rust stuck on the hull, one that was carried by the black, watery-like substance underneath the boat, allowing the small vessel to traverse cobblestone ground. The pilot operating the runabout was a skeletal demon with a bristly beard and a peaked cap situated on his head. His clothing consisted of a black coat and pants while a tobacco pipe hung from his lip. The rider stopped the boat once it had reached the front entrance as he turned to the waiting trio, tipping his cap.
"Climb aboard, Princess Charlie, 'yer parents are waitin' fer ya." The demon said with a thick Scottish accent, somehow speaking fluently with the pipe in his mouth.
"You got it, Charon!" Charlie said with a smile before turning to her girlfriend and son. "Well, this is it, everyone. Let's get going!"
"Right behind you, babe." Vaggie said with a nod before collecting her luggage and setting foot into the runabout alongside her lover. Oogar was about to board the rusty ship, but the second he stepped foot onto the deck, the boat listed to the side resulting in Charlie and Vaggie tripping over while Charon grabbed onto the gunwale of the boat to keep himself from falling. Realizing his error, Oogar hastily stepped back as the boat tilted right back into place.
"Feckin' hell, watch where 'yer standin' ya doaty Grey Man!" Charon scolded, shaking a bony fist. Oogar whimpered in response, nervously clutching at his own wrists.
"S-Sorry!" Oogar peeped out, averting his gaze from the boatman.
"Sorry about that, Charon. Oogar didn't mean anything by it." Charlie apologized on her son's behalf before glancing at him, realizing that he was too large to fit in the boat. "...Though, is there any way for him to get in?"
"By the looks of it, nae. Though, I think I might have a solution." Charon proposed before snapping his fingers. Suddenly, an inflatable raft materialized from thin air, tied to the back end of the boat by a heavy-duty bungee cord. "There we are!"
"...Are you sure there's nothing else?" Vaggie said, raising a brow.
"Look, lass, this is the best I can come up with. I already got a boat tour to do down at the river o' fire in Wrath once I'm done with this. So is he comin' or what?" Charon replied in a rather discourteous manner, a wisp of smoke blowing out from his mouth.
"It okay, mama. Oogar don't mind at all, besides if Oogar fall off, Oogar can swim back! Remembered backstroke too!" The caveman assured his mother before climbing aboard the raft, resting his massive frame along the thwarts with his suitcase held close to his chest. Due to his size, his legs awkwardly stuck out prompting Oogar to quickly correct his positioning by scrunching his legs in and keeping them inside the raft before giving a thumbs up.
"Alright, if you're okay with this..." Vaggie said with a hint of worry for her son's safety before seating herself in the boat as Charlie hauled in the last piece of luggage. With everything now set in place, Charon shifted gears and got the engine running before the boat peeled off in a sharp U-turn. Leaving the hotel behind before racing off into the city streets, giving any and all speed limits the middle finger. Oogar held onto the side handles of the raft for dear life while his suitcase was held in between his legs.
Thankfully for Oogar, the raft came with its own puddle of black liquid that allowed for a smoother trip along with no risk of road rash. Charon passed through cars and zipped past traffic lights, the passengers jostling around in their seats from the swift and hasty movement. Just fifteen minutes into the ride and Vaggie was beginning to feel woozy, looking quite green in the face while her stomach ached. She had never thought that in her time in Hell that she would end up being roadsick.
"Charlie... I don't know about this... ERK... Maybe we're better off driving there our-ULMPH-selves..." Vaggie murmured, sounding as though she was on the verge of upchucking.
"It's alright, Vaggie. Charon knows what he's doing, after all, he did drive me to school when I was a kid!" Charlie reassured, holding onto Vaggie to keep her from falling out of the boat. Meanwhile, the skeletal skipper held up a monocular telescope up to his eye to get a better view from the streets up ahead, there he noticed a long stretch of cars all splayed in an extensive line and the boat was approaching it at an alarming rate.
"Aw cripe. Hold on a sec, we got a wee bit of a traffic jam up ahead. Hold on to your arse." Charon muttered, stowing his telescope in his coat pocket before pulling out an ore. He tapped on the sole of the runabout and whether it was through purely command or a showcase of his demonic magic, the watery substance from beneath suddenly pushed the boat far up into the air, dragging the inflatable raft carrying the fifteen-foot tall caveman along with it. The boat soared over traffic with a few drivers diverted their attention from the road to gaze at the flying runabout, though their gawking did lead to a few rear-end collisions here and there.
Oogar and Vaggie were both screaming with fear from being thrust into the air, the hotel manager clung onto her girlfriend tighter than she already was before. Meanwhile, a small gargoyle was happily flapping its way through the big city only to screech in terror as it saw the flying boat heading its way. Thankfully for the winged demon, it managed to weave over the runabout and while the creature did evade getting hit by the boat, it didn't have time to avoid Oogar and thus, smacked right into the caveman's face.
Charon's boat landed at a safe distance away from the traffic and onto an empty patch of the street, Oogar's raft following along while the black liquid softened the fall. Oogar pried the gargoyle off his face before letting it fly off to safety, though the creature was quite startled that it ended up biting on the caveman's finger. Unbeknownst to the prehistoric demon, a small dark pink arm quickly poked out of his furry chest and dropped a box of band-aids onto his lap before disappearing back into his torso. Oogar's eyes widen to see the band-aid box, as far as he knew it appeared out of nowhere. However, he was still grateful that he at least had something to patch up the bite mark.
"Roight, that's it! How we all feelin'?" The Skipper of the Dead said, turning to his passengers with a shit-eating grin. Vaggie was about to verbally chew the skipper out but aftereffects of being air-borne came into play as her face turned green and her cheeks puffed up. Darting to the gunwale of the boat, Vaggie began to heave while Charlie softly rubbed her girlfriend's back and shoulders to make the regurgitation a lot easier for her.
"Haha! Ah, it's alright. You'll get used to it after the fifth or sixth time!" Charon laughed with glee before shifting his attention back to the road. Upon blowing chunks, Vaggie let out a tired breath before falling into Charlie's arms, the hotel owner wiping off any excess vomit from her lip with a napkin she had stuffed in her pocket.
"...Okay, I think it's a good time to tell you that he lost his position as my chauffer after squashing a crossing guard..." Charlie embarrassingly admitted, Vaggie hitting Charlie with an annoyed glare while a low grumble sputtered out from her lips.
"But hey! Saved me a few minutes from being late..." Charlie said with a nervous chuckle and smile, hoping to make light of the situation. Vaggie suddenly felt her cheeks puff up again as she quickly placed a hand on her mouth. Without saying a word, Charlie handed her a paper bag in case roadsickness got the better of her.
Two Hours Later...
An uneasy, frigid breeze swept through the seemingly endless stretch of woodlands, far from the hustle and bustle of the Pride Ring's urban regions that most demons native to the land were accustomed to. The demonic forest was anything but hospitable for it was a disorienting labyrinth of lifeless trees whose branches twitched and waved from the wind. A looming dread seemed to creep through the ebony woods that poisoned the air. Any creature, be they man or demon, should come to such land unprepared would have disappeared without a trace.
For Charon, though, it was merely an afternoon hike to him. The boat cruised along a trail that was carved into the dirt, the haunting trees obscuring the red sky from above, shrouding the skipper and his passengers in darkness. Charlie watched the passing trees with a nostalgic smile, she remember all the times she played tag with her friends or picnics with her family.
Vaggie was also alone with her own thoughts, mainly concerns revolving around how Charlie's family would react to her presence, along with Oogar as well. Though she did learn something new today, you can apparently get seasick on land and she learned this in the worst way possible. As for the couple's prehistoric son, Oogar occupied himself with a book, specifically Moby Dick by Herman Melville, and thanks to progress in English, Oogar went from staring blankly at a page from half an hour to twenty minutes.
As the boat continued down the trail, Charlie noticed a tall, sharply-dressed man with a pale face devoid of features through the trees. He was currently sitting at a table with a teacup in his hand and today's newspaper in his other. With what little time she had left, the demonic princess waved to the man and called out to him.
"Hello, Mr. S!" Charlie yelled loud enough for the tall man to notice her, as he looked up from his paper and joyfully raised his tea glass up to her. The boat sped past the faceless man, leaving him back to his newspaper while the hotel owner continue to reminiscence bygone days.
"Ah, I remember going on scavenger hunts with him. He was REALLY good at hiding those pieces of paper!" The Demonic Princess said with a sigh before Charon turned to her.
"We're gettin' closer, Princess. We just have to get across the river and we'll be there very soon." The skipper informed.
"Good! I hope we'll get there soon, Vaggie hasn't been handling the trip all that well. I think we're down to our last vomit bag..." Charlie said, gesturing over to her girlfriend, who was practically slumped down on her seat with a sickened expression and a paper bag clutched by her side.
"Ah, poor lass. I remember when I went down the Styx river for the first time, was feelin' boke the whole time while I was done there. Didn't help that the damned souls kept rockin' the feckin' boat." Charon shared as he moved his hand on a lever on the boat's control panel.
"How about this? We speed up the trip. It's already been two hours so it can't hurt." Charon said before going full throttle on the lever much to Charlie's and especially Vaggie's dismay. The boat immediately roared down the dirt trail, racing through the trees while Vaggie nearly flew out of the runabout hadn't it been for Charlie holding on to her. Oogar was haphazardly dragged along for the boat ride, his book nearly flying out of his hands. The runabout continued to roar through the woods, its engine blasted through the thick woods. So loud that a wendigo angrily emerged from a cave with an amputated arm held in his claws, disgruntled that his meal was being disturbed.
"Will you keep it down!? Some of us are trying to eat in peace!" The cannibalistic beast roared with annoyance, shaking the arm high into the air.
"Andy, come back inside will ya, the intestines are gettin' cold!" A screechy yet feminine voice called out from the cave, the wendigo looked over his shoulder and sighed as he dragged himself back into the cave's maw.
"Coming, dear." He groaned, not wanting to pass up a good meal. Returning to the boat, it continued its harsh journey through the dark forest. Just up ahead, however, there was a flicker of daylight. Charon's teeth bit harder on the pipe as he cocked his head over his shoulder to Charlie and Vaggie, the former of which had her face buried in her girlfriend's lap.
"Right, we're about to enter the Lake of Serpent Blood. Be warned that we're approaching monster-infested territory and they WILL attack." Charon informed them, though his warning didn't seem to alleviate any worries that the couple had, if anything it only made matters even more worrisome.
"WHAT?!" Vaggie shouted, lifting her head up slightly. Oogar looked up from his book, while he did hear the skipper say something, he was unable to hear him properly on account of the rumbling engine. The caveman, however, merely shrugged before stowing his book into his chest fur. Oogar proceeded to withdraw a chocolate bar from his hide and began to open it, figuring that he could help himself to a yummy snack.
Before the caveman could take a bite, fast forward a few minutes and the boat had zipped out from the maze of trees, the hull splashing against the crimson surface of a blood-ridden lake. The black liquid that was carrying the boat and raft dissipated into nothingness when coming into contact with the blood. A foggy cloud drifted across the lake, one that blinded anyone in a thick mist whilst the evil stench that suffocated the air only grew in potency.
"Ugh. Feckin' ominous fog on a blood lake. Bastard's told me it would be clear today." Charon grumbled to himself as he promptly switched on the boat's lights to better his vision, though all the lights shone on a massive angler fish-like creature, whose head poked out from the bloody surface.
"Oi! Oan yer bike, ye feckin minger!" Charon barked, pulling a revolver from his coat and firing a warning shot at the creature. The beast hissed before diving back into the murky depths. The boat sailed across the lake, undulating from the bloody waves that crashed against the boat's hull. Charon let out a wild howl of laughter, throwing caution to the wind and reveling in the thrills. The same couldn't be said for his passenger, with Vaggie close to gagging for the umpteenth time.
"Charlie..." Vaggie said with a bilious wheeze. "If I somehow make it through this trip, I'm gonna kill this asshole..."
"Just uh... hang on, Vaggie. We're almost there, don't try to kill anyone either." Charlie said before her eyes flicked over to Charon, who was pouring gin into his tobacco pipe before slurping it through the said pipe as though it were a straw.
"...Okay, yeah I can see where dad was coming from..." Charlie said, having been cursed with hindsight. On the other side of the spectrum, Oogar kept one arm elevated in the air to avoid blood droplets splotching on his chocolate treat while also keeping his suitcase tightly clenched between his legs. Just then from his right-hand side, a long cephalopod-like tentacle emerged from red murky depths. The writhing tendril lurched forward slightly, approaching the caveman in a curious manner.
"Oh. You hungry? Here." Oogar said before snapping off a piece from his candy bar and offering it to the tentacle, its suckers suctioning themselves onto the piece of the chocolate. The tentacle proceeded to sink back into the crimson depths. Charlie turned herself over to see Oogar giving the tendril the candy right when it descended back under the waves.
"Oogar, what did I tell you about feeding wild animals?" Charlie reprimanded her big hairy son. "Krakens can't have chocolate too, it's unfamiliar to their digestive system!"
"It looked hungry, mama!" Oogar said, flashing a pair of puppy-dog eyes in hopes of avoiding punishment.
"I know, but if you keep feeding them, they'll start begging you for food. Trust me, I nearly got gobbled up by a wyvern after I had no more potato chips to feed it." Charlie said, cringing slightly from having to relay that putrid memory. The boat continued its tumultuous route across the blood lake where Charlie had Vaggie rest on her lap, who was still tired and queasy from this trip that she desperately wanted to end.
Thankfully, the family of three would no longer have to wait, for the demonic princess spotted something from up ahead. Even in the thick fog, she could make out a faint crimson hue that shimmered brightly. Charlie's eyes widened and her black lips formed into an exuberant smile, it was here that she began to enthusiastically tap on Vaggie's shoulder in order to grab her attention.
"Vaggie, Oogar, look! We're finally here!" The Demonic Princess cheered, directing her hand northward as Vaggie slowly moved her head from Charlie's lap while Oogar finished scarfing down the second half of his chocolate bar. Both demons had their heads cocked in the direction of where Charlie was pointing and what waited for them in the fog left them speechless.
Several miles away from where the boat sailed, situated atop the summit of a darkened hill and high above the crimson lake was a castle of monumental proportions. One whose stone walls were red as the bloody lake itself, its towers stretched out to the unholy heavens as though it were reaching out to touch the stars. Each castle pinnacle was topped off with a gleaming apple and the embrasures were bedecked with sconces that burned bright. The whole structure seemed to sit on the mountain as if it were its throne, standing tall over the forest where all the savage beasts dwelled.
Oogar and Vaggie marveled at this beguiling tower, suspended high into the unholy skies. Far above the damned grounds that they so comfortably walked upon. It was a structural behemoth, but they were outsiders to its regal walls.
By the base of the mountain was a small dock where several imps dressed in red and black suits awaited the boat's arrival. Charon began to slow the runabout down before coming to a complete stop once he had reached the rickety wharf, taking his pipe out of his mouth and blowing out a noxious tobacco smoke cloud from his mouth. The skipper hoisted the boat's anchor over the gunwale, letting it plop into the blood with a heavy splash.
"Alrighty, we're 'ere. Wasn't that bad was it?" Charon said before turning around, only to be clocked right in the jaw by Vaggie. The blow caused his head to comically spin around in circles whilst the hotel manager climbed out of the boat without saying a word. Charon grabbed onto his spinning head, only to realize that it was facing backwards, prompting the skeleton-like demon to rotate it back in the proper position whilst Charlie approached them.
"Here's something for your troubles, Charon. Hopefully, it will also be enough to keep you from getting into trouble too." Charlie offered, spitting out a flaming spark that molded into that of a silvery coin. The Skipper of the Dead grabbed the glowing hot coin and bit down on it to test its authenticity. Thankfully, the coin was genuine and Charon didn't seem all that affected after bitting on a scolding hot coin as he stowed it in his pocket.
"No promises, Princess." Charon commented, stepping aside to let Charlie climb onto the boat, allowing the awaiting imps to take her luggage off her hands. Finally, Oogar nudged his inflatable raft over to the dock's ledge, throwing his suitcase onto the pier first before pulling himself second. The wooden planked creaked and shifted underneath the caveman's feet, sounding as though the boards would give way to the mammoth's own weight. The caveman carefully stepped along the rickety dock, holding his suitcase in one hand.
"Careful… Careful…" Oogar murmured to himself, putting all of his concentration into making it across. However, as he crept down the pier, he was approached by an imp butler.
"Allow me to carry that for you, sir." The imp offered, reaching out to take his luggage. Oogar glanced at the enormous suitcase held in his hand before shrugging as he casually dropped it onto the imp. Both the butler and the suitcase smashed right through the wooden planks, creating a gigantic hole in the dock. Realizing his fatal mistake, Oogar scrambled towards the hole and quickly reached down with both of his arms, grabbing onto the imp and suitcase right before plunging into the blood.
"Sorry! Sorry! SO SORRY!" Oogar yelped before yanking both of them from the hole. He set his suitcase aside and quickly placed the butler onto his feet, who was visibly dizzy from having nearly a ton dropped on his head. The caveman dusted him off and haphazardly fixed his hair, his beard hiding a nervous smile.
"Oogar!" Vaggie called out as the caveman looked up, realizing that his family was waiting for him.
"Uh… sorry! Again… Very sorry!" Oogar peeped out before grabbing his suitcase and rushing off to his mother's, knowing that he was gonna likely get a stern earful from Vaggie over this.
"I..dun get paid enough for thiiis…" The butler murmured before flopping face-first onto the deck.
Oogar was reunited with the group before they made the arduous walk up the hill while the servants hauled their luggage, some of which were carried through wagons. As they traversed up the ebony mountain, Vaggie could feel her own heart race just at the mere thought of visiting Charlie's parents, the rulers of Hell itself no less. To say she was anxious would be an immense understatement. Currently, she was working on how to properly introduce Charlie's parents without making a fool of herself by reciting a basic greeting.
"Hola, Mr. and Mrs. Morningstar… No, too casual. Greetings, your majesties… Nah, nah. That's too formal. What would be a good in-betweener…?" Vaggie muttered to herself, tapping on her chin to formulate the perfect hello.
"How about… Salutations, King and Queen Morningstar! Howdy-do!" The Hispanic demoness said, only for the sudden realization to dawn on her. "HOWDY-DO?! Qué carajo estabas pensando, Vaggie!"
"Don't stress it, honey," Charlie said to her lover, having overheard her ramblings as she softly caressed the demoness's back in order to calm her. "My parents aren't THAT posh anyway. Just greet them with a simple hello! How does that sound?"
"...Thanks, babe. I'll keep that in mind." Vaggie replied with a slight smile.
"Mamas?…" Oogar suddenly called out to his adopted parents, who turned their attention to him.
"Yes, mijo?" The Hispanic demoness answered.
"W-Will grandma and grandpa like Oogar?... Oogar want to be a good grandson…" Oogar said with an uncertain and fearful tone of voice.
"I'm sure they'll like you, Oogar. You've certainly proven yourself that you're an amazing person and I'm sure that my parents will enjoy your company." Hell's Princess was the first to respond with her lover backing her up.
"Exactly, if Lucifer gave me his approval then I'm sure the same could be said for you." The hotel manager said with a small yet assuring smile.
"Well… What's grandma and grandpa like?" Oogar asked, slightly perking his head up. Though this question, in particular, seemed more difficult to answer as Charlie and Vaggie briefly went silent.
"Charlie's parents are, shall we say…" Vaggie paused midway through her sentence, trying to think of the perfect word to describe them. "...Complicated."
"Don't get me wrong, they do love me and I love them as well. But there are some things that we don't see eye to eye on. In fact, there are some things that I doubt we'll ever agree on." Charlie explained. Oogar curiously tugged on his beard, slowly piecing things together.
"Like… Redemption?" The caveman said, tilting his head. Charlie glanced over at Oogar, a somewhat saddened look started to etch its way onto the Princess's visage.
"...Yeah. That one especially." Charlie murmured out. Sensing that this was quite a sore subject for his mother, the caveman figured the best course of action was to steer this topic in a different direction.
"Well... If grandma and grandpa let us come then... Then... Then they should like us!" Oogar declared, triumphantly raising a fist in the air. Charlie's downcast frown was turned upside down from seeing her son's showcase of confidence.
"That's the spirit, son. After everything we've been through, I'm sure they're gonna adore you!" Charlie said before she and the rest of her family pressed onward, drawing nearer to the castle entrance. Standing by the main portcullis were two massive demons clad in white and red armor with a halberd tightly clenched in their hands, both of whom were alerted to the princess's presence.
"The Princess has arrived, bring up the gate!" He called out to another guard who stood put at the top embrasures. The knight quickly raised the gate, allowing the trio, as well as the servants, access to the castle. Charlie entered without a hitch, however, the moment Vaggie and Oogar followed after the hotel owner, the two guards collectively stepped forward and suspended their axes into the air. The two demons stopped dead in their tracks and tensed up, the guards now having blocked off the entryway.
"Halt! No sinners are allowed entry into the castle!" One knight warned.
"What the hell do you mean!? We're with her!" Vaggie shouted with indignation while Charlie overheard her girlfriend's cries, her eyes widened with horror as she bolted over to the guards to prevent a potential quarrel from unfolding.
"STOP! STOP! SHE'S RIGHT, THEY'RE WITH ME! THEY'RE WITH ME!" Hell's Princess shouted, frantically waving her arms to gain the knight's attention. Thankfully, both guards heard Charlie's pleas as they lowered their weapons and stepped to the side.
"Err... Sorry about that, Princess Morningstar... Instincts, you know? Hehe..." One guard apologized with a sheepish chuckle, rubbing the back of his head out of embarrassment. Though, Vaggie's perturbed glare made it clear enough for him to shut his mouth.
"Yeah. Okay." The Hispanic demoness curtly responded before briskly entering through the gateway with her son plodding along. After that exchange, it certainly soured the experience a little for Vaggie though Oogar was hopeful that a warm welcome was waiting for him. Charlie certainly hoped that things hoped things would pick up from there, especially for when the time came to meet her parents. The family of three passed down the cobblestone entryway where an imp servant opened the tall castle doors for them.
"Welcome back, Princess Charlie! I hope you and your family have a grand visit." The imp greeted the trio with a courteous bow.
"Thank you very much, Jeeves! Say, where are my parents right now?" Charlie asked.
"Oh, they're in the west wing. Making some last-minute touch-ups is all." Jeeves replied, letting the demonic princess and her family pass through the threshold.
"Alright everyone, feast your eyes!" Charlie exclaimed before outspreading her arms to showcase the castle's interior. Right when Oogar and Vaggie made their way into the main foyer, they knew right away that they had set foot in an alien setting.
The castle's great hall was expansive with black and red-tiled floors, marble pillars carved into statues to support the roof overhead, and furnishing that would have left anyone destitute if they were to break it. The hotel, despite its antiquated condition, was still fairly lavish but it was nowhere near as mesmerizing as this whole castle. It was near picture-perfect, as though they had been transported into a painting.
"It's... beautiful, Charlie." Vaggie remarked, stunned by this imposing scene. Oogar backed away slightly, his eyes darting around to truly take in his new surroundings. He had adapted well to living in the hotel but this was something much more frightening for the caveman. This environment was refined and elegant, something that was of greater class compared to a behemoth such as himself. It was all the things that he wasn't.
"Right this way everyone, I'm sure my parents are dying to see us." She gestured them into the adjacent hallway on the left-hand side. The family of three set off, ready for the make-or-break event that would determine Oogar and Vaggie's fate.
"Alright, if both of you are still nervous, rest assured that my parents are going to LOVE both of you and there should be nothing to deter you!" Charlie encouraged, though as they were making their way down the corridor, they passed down a tapestry that made Oogar and Vaggie shiver with fear. The textile depicted Lucifer and Lilith standing in the center with nefarious smiles plastered on their face while they were surrounded by fire, demons, and the souls of the damned screaming out in agony. It was quite hard for Oogar and Vaggie to ignore such a distressing image since the drapery spanned all the way down to the hallway's end.
"Hm? What are you two looking a-" Charlie's eyes shifted to the tapestry, her eyes bulging her of her sockets as she threw herself against the long textile with her arms outspread in a feeble attempt to hide the gruesome imagery from her girlfriend and son.
"A-as I was saying, there's absolutely NOTHING to worry about!..." She said with a big, unnerving smile while sweat started trickling from her brow.
"...We'll take your for it, Charlie." Vaggie murmured before moseying on, taking a few quick glances at the horrific textile. Charlie hurried on over though Oogar's eyes were essentially glued to the tapestry, fearing what could possibly happen if he were to incur his grandparent's wrath. Further down the hall, Charlie and Vaggie heard a familiar voice ring out from a room connected to the corridor.
"Lilith, for the last time, it's bloody fine!" Lucifer's voice rang out, by the sounds of it, he was quite annoyed with something.
"It's crooked, my dear. Let me help you with that." A gentle, patient voice belonging to a woman replied, one that Charlie was familiar with all too well. Charlie enthusiastically bolted to the doorway leading into the room with Vaggie scurrying behind. From the corner of his eye, Oogar noticed his mothers had already gotten on, prompting the caveman to follow after them.
Charlie and Vaggie stepped into the hearth foyer of the castle where a slender demoness with pale skin and long, luscious blonde hair. Her build was lithe and supple, donned in a lovely dark mauve dress as well as a set of curved magenta horns resting along. This gorgeous demon was currently fiddling around with Lucifer's bowtie, who stood in place with his arms tucked behind his back. Lucifer's head was cocked to the side slightly, an irate scowl was seen on his face.
"Almost done, just need to make a quick correction." Lilith said to her husband, who simply grumbled in response. Glancing up at her husband, the demonic queen giggled slightly before pinching his rosy cheeks.
"Oh, you're so adorable when you're pouty...~" The Queen of Hell teased, Lucifer's face turning as an apple.
"I'M NOOOOOT..." The demonic king whined, stomping his fight slightly while his wife couldn't help but laugh, embarrassing him further.
"Mom! Dad!" Charlie suddenly called out, revealing herself to her parents. Lilith let out a surprised yelp from her daughter's sudden arrival, accidentally tugging on the loops of Lucifer's bowtie in a jolt, tightening it to a point where the demonic king was gasping for air.
"Oh, blimey! One moment, dear. We'll get to you in a second..." Lilith said before helping Lucifer loosen his bowtie just a little so that it wouldn't have choked him out. Lilith quickly slicked back Lucifer's hair and popped his collar slightly while the demonic king's breathing became relaxed.
"Thank you, my love. Now, where was I?... Ah yes!" Lucifer immediately turned to Charlie and whisked across the room within the blink of an eye, his arms already wrapped around Charlie as he squeezed her tightly with a loving embrace. "Charlie, good to see you my apple pie!"
"Good to see you too, dad!" Charlie said, hugging back almost immediately. After letting go, Charlie went up to her mother to hug her, the demonic queen already had her arms opened for a welcoming embrace. "And you as well, mom!"
"Charlie, darling, it's so wonderful to see you again! How have you been? It's been quite some time since we've last met after all." Lilith said while Charlie broke away from the hug.
"I've been good, mom and it sure has been a while but I'm very excited to introduce you to some people I'm sure you've been dying to meet." Hell's Princess expressed with great enthusiasm. Standing by the doorway, Vaggie took in a deep breath and calmly walked in despite her heart pounding and internal panic. Oogar was about to follow her until he realized that the entryway was too small for his big frame to squeeze through.
"You can do it, Vaggie. Act natural." Vaggie thought to herself before feeling a shadow cast over her, the moth-like demon's eye flicked up to see Lilith looking down at her. Upon making eye contact with the demonic queen, Vaggie's pupil shrank and her shoulders scrunched up.
"Ah, you must be Vaggie! It's truly a pleasure to meet you, Charlie has told me so much and..." Lilith gave Vaggie a quick ogle, placing a hand on her chin. "She certainly wasn't kidding about the whole 'pretty' part~"
"H-huh...huh...huh...hiiiiieeeeeeee..." Vaggie barely managed out, a flustered squeal escaping her lips. The air around her felt so heavy to a point where she could collapse at any given moment.
"Oh dear, it seems my charm has worked too well!" Lilith chuckled before shaking Vaggie's hand, drawing out another whimper from the ruffled demoness as her face developed a red, glowing hue. When Lilith let go of her hand, Vaggie's arm was still suspended in air as though she couldn't summon the strength to bring it down.
"Mom, please don't fluster my girlfriend..." Charlie groaned with embarrassment.
"Haha! It's quite alright, Miss Vaggie." Lucifer said, approaching Vaggie and shaking her still-outstretched hand. "As a matter of fact, I had the same reaction when I first met her!"
"Yeah! Yeah... heh... y'know it's a...thing and stuff.. and... pretty...lady... ERR..." Vaggie cleared her throat, coming back to her senses as she softly exhaled. "It's a pleasure meeting you, I do hope that we can get along well too."
"I'm sure we will, darling. Why don't I have one of our servants fetch us some tea and we'll-"
BOOMPH!
BOOMPH!
"LOOK OUT!"
Everyone jerked their heads in the direction of the doorway to see Oogar stampeding towards them, the caveman having managed to squeeze himself into the room. However, all the momentum he had put into letting himself in caused him to stumble forward uncontrollably. Everyone present in the room all quickly stepped to the side while Oogar collapsed onto the floor, shaking the room in the process. Sadly for Lucifer, he wasn't quick enough and ended up getting his foot crushed by a falling, several-ton behemoth.
"IEEEEP!" Lucifer whimpered, clenching his teeth in pain while a tear began to run down his face.
"...Ouch." Oogar groaned with his face planted against the floor. Lucifer tugged at his own leg with Lilith helping him pull his foot out from underneath Oogar's abdomen. After a few tries, Lucifer successfully wrenched his foot free. Charlie and Vaggie shared an anxious look with one another, fearing the worse for this first impression.
"Lucifer, Are you alright my dear?..." Lilith asked, putting her hands on his shoulder.
"I've been through worse, honey..." The demonic king before glaring at the caveman, perturbed by his sudden entrance. "...Charlie, sweetie... Who is... this?"
"Dad... I'd like to introduce you to my son, Oogar..." Charlie said with a gulp while Oogar slowly lifted himself off the ground, holding his head to better orient himself. Lucifer's glower lessened though Charlie could tell from his glassy-eyed stare that there were some restrained emotions to be found in him.
"Oh. I see..." Lucifer spat through clenched teeth.
"Lucifer, be kind!" Lilith scolded for his cold display, the King of Hell made a slight whimper at his wife's reprimand. Oogar turned to face his grandparents, kneeling down before them before bowing his head down.
"H-Hello, Grandma and Grandpa. Me... Err.. I am Oogar..." The caveman introduced himself.
"Greetings Oogar, we're so happy to have you here at our abode! Isn't that right, Luci?..." Lilith said, cocking her head at Lucifer with an evil eye.
"Why yes! Yes, we are. As a matter of fact, we've heard so much about you. Your big stampede down at Pentagram City made headlines!" Lucifer exclaimed, Oogar's stomach tightened when he heard this.
"You... heard of... Mammoth?" Oogar asked, a chill running down his spine.
"Indeed we have, a whole lot of collateral damage there..." The demonic king remarked, his grandson froze with fear while Charlie and Vaggie tensed for his response. "...But, that's all on Malphas so... Eh, you're alright."
"Oh... Okay!" Oogar said, a wave of relief washing over him.
"Indeed, apologies that I didn't give you nor Charlie's rag-tag cadre a proper greeting. I was a little too focused on strangling the life out of that ass of an avian..." Lucifer said, squeezing his hand tightly to simulate wringing Malphas's neck.
"Yeah, Bad Man wanted to hurt mamas..." Oogar said, lowering his head slightly. However, he immediately perked it up with an excited twinkle in his eye. "...So, you must be good man for hurting bad man!"
"Well, I wouldn't call myself a good man. But, I am flattered nonetheless!" Lucifer chuckled wholeheartedly.
"Hoho! I'd say you're more than just a good man. I know you're a passionate one, isn't that right, Luci?~" Lilith flirted, her husband went still from her comment as she lovingly skids a finger across his cheek.
"Lilith, darling, that kind of talk is meant for the boudoir~" Lucifer teased back, their scrummy comments going right over the caveman's head. Charlie, meanwhile, was suffering from a severe case of secondhand embarrassment while Vaggie silently stood in the background.
"Boo... Dar?..." Oogar questioned.
"Apologies my boy, these kinds of things slip is all!" The Fallen Angel said before his gaze darted over to Lilith, his smile widening slightly. "Hard not to with someone as ravishing as her...~"
"Okay! I think we got introductions out of the way!" The Princess of Hell chimed, hoping to put an end to these string of innuendos. "Let's not go and have this turn into a long awkward talk of… very embarrassing stuff, why don't we all just start to get to know one another, yes?"l
"Of course, of course." Lucifer chuckled before glancing at his wristwatch. "Though as much as I would love to sit and converse with all of you, I have to be dodged and fast."
"Alright, we'll catch up with you later dad." Charlie replied, although her son appeared quite saddened for his grandpa's sudden departure.
"Awww, Oogar wanted to see grandpa…" The caveman said with an undertone of disappointment.
"I'm sorry my dear, but once I'm finished, I will get back to you as soon as possible." The King of Hell assured, patting his grandson on the shoulder before walking off to the doorway. Lilith saw the look of dismay on Oogar's face, feeling quite sympathetic considering the long trip that he, alongside his mothers, had to go through. However, the first succubus hatched a brilliant plan.
"Actually... Oogar, why don't you go along with your grandfather? I know how much you would love to talk to him!" Lilith proposed, her husband stopping right when he was about to leave through the doorway.
"...I beg your pardon?" Lucifer said, looking over his shoulder.
"Luci, dearest, would you be so cruel as to deny your grandson the time and day? After all, he wants to do is spend time with you..." Lilith said, approaching by Oogar's side, putting an arm around his back while gently caressing his beard. The caveman gave out a whimper while showcasing a pair of puppy dog eyes, clasping his hands together in a pleading manner. Catching onto this, Charlie leaned onto the other side of Oogar, giving her father the same begging look as her son.
"Pleeeease dad... Just for us?..." The Princess of Hell whimpered, hoping that her father would cave in. Up against the power of his wife's charm and annoying levels of cuteness, Lucifer mustered out a sigh of defeat.
"Alright, but only because you're going to keep pestering me until I submit..." Lucifer groaned with mild annoyance, to which Lilith giggled in response.
"You know me so well my dear." The demonic queen said with a chuckle while Oogar approached his grandpa with open arms, promptly giving Hell's King a big, spine-crushing hug.
"Oogar can't wait to..." As Oogar pulled his grandfather in for a tight embrace, he realized that he was holding onto nothing. Looking down, the mammoth demon's eyes widened to see that his grandpa was nowhere to be seen. "...Huh?"
"Sorry for the confusion there, but I'd prefer having my back remain undamaged, yes?" Lucifer's voice rang out from behind, the primitive demon turned around to see his top-hatted grandfather standing right behind him with a toothy grin. Oogar looked over to where Lucifer was previously standing before shifting to his father's current position, trying to make sense of this whole trick before promptly giving up.
"This way!" Lucifer beckoned, strolling down the hallway. Before leaving, Oogar gave the hearth foyer one final glance, Charlie was giving him two thumbs-up while Vaggie had a small yet hopeful smile on her visage.
"Go on, my boy. Don't want to keep grandpa waiting now do you?" Lilith said, waving her behemoth of a grandson goodbye.
"Tata, Oogar!" Charlie added, eager for what may come of their interaction.
"You got this, niño!" Vaggie chimed in.
"Wait up!" Oogar peeped out before running off, departing from the group. Though, his excitement had gotten the better of him for a vase that was situated on a pedestal in the corridor fell over due to his quake-inducing footsteps. The caveman was quick enough to catch the ceramic but in doing so, knocked over the alabaster plinth. With another showcase of quick reflexes, Oogar stuck his foot out to keep the pillar lifted though his foot did smash a hole into the adjacent wall.
"That better not be property damage I heard..." Lucifer called out, the behemoth letting out a faint squeal of terror as he pushed the column in front of the hole he had just made before placing the vase back onto the pedestal as neatly as he could. With all said and done, Oogar moseyed on over while making sure his footsteps didn't cause too much of a ruckus.
"Such a big ball of energy that boy is..." Lilith commented, putting a hand on her chin. "You know something, Charlie, he reminds me much of your father when we first met."
"He does?" Charlie said raising a brow.
"Indeed, very hyperactive, a total klutz, albeit with a somewhat absent mind but a big heart nonetheless..." Lilith explained before a promiscuous smirk surfaced on her features. "Though I had a more direct way of teaching him reproduc-"
"MOM!" The Princess of Hell squealed with embarrassment while Vaggie pursed her lips at the demonic queen's joke. Lilith roared with laughter, practically holding at her own knees to catch her breath.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!... I just had to..." Lilith wheezed before clearing her throat and maintaining a straight face. Charlie covered her face in humiliation, groaning from all these painfully unsubtle jokes.
"...Are they always like this?..." Vaggie asked with both confusion and concern to which Charlie responded with a slow, begrudging nod.