Anastasia

Christian left five days ago for New York and I miss him so much already. I've gotten attached to him. I spent the night with him the evening before he left and snuck his pajama shirt in my bag that morning because it smelled like him. Tonight Kate and I are having a sleep over girl's night at the Grey compound while we stick wedding invitations together and stuff the envelopes. Thank God there's wine and thank God I have Christian's shirt to wear. it's warm and comforting and smells so good. I paired it with a pair of Elliot's boxer shorts I wore home the morning after our first time together. He wanted to keep mine so I took a pair of his. It was only fair. I love wearing their clothes, but it does feel a little naughty wearing them in front of their sister.

"How many people are we inviting?" Mia whines, staring at the mound of invitations on the coffee table waiting to be put together and stuffed.

"And only half of them are in the wedding party." Kate teases, making me laugh. The girl has seven bridesmaids and groomsmen, four ushers, a miniature bride, flower girl, and ring bearer. Then she has her aunt who is going to play the piano and someone I don't even know singing during their candle lighting ceremony. It is going to take just as long for everyone to get down the aisle than it will the whole ceremony.

We all sit and stare at the boxes of invites. "Well, staring at them isn't going to get the job done. Everyone grab a box." The girls groan at me, but begrudgingly have a seat around the coffee table.

We work, using double sided tape to paste on the inner pages, then add the RSVP card and reception card before sealing the envelope and adding a stamp. It's quiet for a few until Mia brings up the bridal party dance. I'm too busy trying to figure out why the hell she didn't pay to have these put together to really pay attention until I hear Elliot's name.

"What'd you say?"

Mia chews her lip. "José really didn't feel comfortable with your dancing skills so he asked if he could switch for Kate since you're both my maids of honor."

I look at Kate and see her flush. "...And Kate's partner is Elliot." I really wonder if this was José's idea or if she coerced him so she didn't have an awkward interaction with Elliot. "Does Elliot know about this?"

"Er... not yet. I thought you could tell him."

"Me? You're the bride!"

"And your my maid of honor. You're supposed to do things like this for me."

I snort. "Then why shouldn't it come from his EX dance partner? I'm not sure he's going to he too happy about me stepping on his toes. That man has some big feet."

Mia laughs. "Well, he's like 8 foot tall so maybe he can just hold you up off the ground and whirl you around."

I giggle at the mental visual of Elliot whirling my limp body around while my legs flail around. "He's going to be disappointed to have a shitty partner. The only person I seem to dance okay with is Christian... but he's like a damn ninja on the floor."

Mia grins. "I don't think Tessa is willing to give up her spot with Christian for someone who is arrhythmically challenged."

"It's arrhythmic or rhythmically challenged... not both... and I have rhythm thank you! I just don't have control where my feet go all the time! Thank God I have small feet."

Kate smiles. "Just correct him like you do us and I'm sure it'll whisk him of his feet."

I shove Kate's shoulder. "Now I am making you tell Elliot about the switch."

Kate gives me a knowing smile. I highly doubt he'll care that there is a switch, but it's fun to harass her anyway.

There's movement in my periphery and when I look, my heart stutters in my chest. My Christian. He's back. He's always so much more handsome in person than I remember and it gives me such deep butterflies as soon as I get one glimpse of him.

Kate notices my heart-shaped eyeballs and pinches my leg lightly before Mia notices. I blink and try to pull my smile off my face.

"Girls." He stops and looks over the table. "Wedding shit."

Mia gives him a light scowl. "This is supposed to be a girl's only get together. I thought you were in New York."

"I was. Now I'm here. I have a meeting with Dad." He shoves his hands in his navy trouser pockets, making me take note of his outfit. A light blue button down with the sleeves rolled up, A navy blue suit vest that matches his bottoms, and a striped tie that matches both blues he's wearing. His watch is even dark blue. Brown wingtipped Oxfords on his feet with a matching brown belt. I want to undress him slowly and eat him for dessert.

"Cool your shit before Mia notices you undressing him with your eyes." Kate whispers in my ear.

Clearing my throat my eyes drop to the floor. I can't look at him without looking like I want to devour him. Especially when we've spent five days apart.

"Nice shirt, Sugar." My head shoots up quickly, finding Christian even closer to us.

"Um, thanks." I bite my lip.

"That's where I've seen it before!" Mia has an epiphany.

"Huh?" I blanche. She's figured us out!

"Christian has a pajama set just like that."

I instantly relax. "Oh." I look down at the pajama shirt. "Must shop at the same store."

"You mean him and your secret lover boy must shop at the same store." Mia teases me.

"Whatever." I roll my eyes, pretending to be annoyed. She has bugged me about my secret boyfriend but I haven't given her any details.

"Don't pretend like I haven't noticed it smells like a man. One of these days I'm going to get the name out of you. Maybe you can bring him to the wedding."

I shrug. "Maybe."

"As much as I'd love to listen about Sugar's new lover boy, I've got to go find Dad."

Mia waves him off and we go back to stuffing the invitations while we watch some romcom on the television. My eyes keep wandering to the hall he just went down though. I am hoping to get another glimpse of him before he leaves. That few minutes just didn't feel like enough. Get your shit together, Steele. I hate being so damn attached already. A part of me feels like it's because we've been intimate and I want to stab myself for letting my hormones control my emotions.

I hate that I can't be logical. I want to tell myself that it's just sex. That people do it all the time and have multiple partners throughout their life. I've also watched my two best friends go through some traumatic breakups and I never understood why it was so hard, because mine had hurt in the past, but I never acted like they had. I had thought it was because I was different than them and wondered if something was wrong with me... like I just couldn't feel as deep as they could... but now I realize it was the added intimacy on top of their already beautiful bright loving personalities. A part of me wishes that I could slip back into my quiet self that could separate her feelings by using logic, but I like the depth I have now... if only I could stop thinking about the pain that's inevitably coming when the men are finished. I wonder if it'd be easier to handle if it was one at a time.

I find myself stuck in that head space a lot. I feel like my whole body is in a constant state of tension, wondering when they'll throw me away. I know this isn't healthy and that I'm ruining the moments I have with them now over it. I might even end up pushing them away by doing this. I just can't control it. The more I fall for them the more I worry. I wonder if I'd be like this if it was just one of them. I think since being with two of them is a little unorthodox, it drives my worry more. They're going to get sick of sharing. They're going to want to find accomplished women closer to their age. They're going to get sick of me... especially if I get clingy. I want to play this cool. I tell myself to act nonchalant when I get time with them but I always find myself doing the opposite. Neither seem to mind, but what if they're hiding their annoyance?

Growly: Hall bathroom after I say goodbye.

I stare down at Christian's text message and it fills me with butterflies. The aching sadness in my chest gets pushed away for the time being. I changed their names in my phone to Growly and Grunty so that if Mia happened to look at my phone, she wouldn't know who it was. I can't deny it's been a little entertaining, too. Especially when my notifications say things like 'Growly sent drink your water' or 'Grunty sent I need to fuck you.'

"That was a quick meeting." My head shoots up at Mia's words and I almost drop my cell phone. It causes the beautiful man standing at the mouth of the living room to cock an eyebrow. To anyone else he'd look annoyed, but I know him well enough now to know it's his look of entertainment.

He gives a one shouldered shrug. "Just legal paperwork to sign. Figured I'd tell you good night before I left."

"Oh. Okay, well goodnight!" Mia doesn't bother to look up from her invitation she's working on and waves at him quickly before continuing on.

I giggle at her shortness and clamp my hand over my mouth when I realize.

"Find something funny, Sugar?"

I bite my lip and do my best to keep my lips from pulling up into a smile. "Um, nope."

He wets his lips and then gives me an eye roll. "Goodnight, ladies."

We say our goodnight and see him slip into the hallway down the way instead of going to the door.

I stretch. "Well, break time. I need to use the restroom."

Mia nods. "I agree. We need snacks."

"Yes! Popcorn please!" Kate smiles at Mia while I slip past them and force my bare feet to move nonchalantly until I make the turn into the next hallway and then I hurry on my toes until I find the bathroom which is closed. Turning the handle, it opens and when I slip in, he's behind the door and closes it for me, locking it.

"I've missed you." He's whispering and takes a step toward me. "I hate this sneaking around shit. We need to tell them." His arms go around me and he leans to nibble on my neck.

I grip his back and hum. "Not yet. Too soon. I haven't even seen you two at the same time yet. We have so much to navigate still."

Picking me up, he sets me on the counter and begins to unbutton the pajama top. "That's going to change. This week. God I've missed this body, too." His hands cup my breasts and squeezes them. "You're so exquisite. I don't deserve you."

Before I can tell him he's wrong, his mouth is on mine while his thumbs caress my nipples. I moan into his mouth.

"Hush, baby. They'll hear that pretty mouth of yours."

I pout. "But I want your cock. It's my favorite."

He looks at me and then at the door before turning back to me. "I don't know, Sugar. We don't have much time and you're deliciously loud when I take you."

"Please?" I run my hands down his vestclad front. "I'll be good, I promise. A quickie for me?"

He groans. "You know I can never deny you."

I smile.

"Hop off and bend over the sink. Fast and hard. No noises."

I nod and hop off the counter when he steps back to unzip himself and pull himself out. When I bend over the counter, he pulls the boxers down.

"Whose are these? If you don't say Elliot, I'm going to have to make noise and beat this sexy ass of yours."

I giggle and wiggle my backside, making him smack it and leave his hand against it so it won't be so loud. "They're Elliot's."

He hums and sinks himself into me, thrusting a few times until he's deep. "Such a good girl, wearing our clothes in front the others. Now you'll wear my cum, won't you, kitten?"

I nod against the counter while my hand is over my mouth just in case.

"Hold tight." With a grip on my hips, he begins to piston into me.

It isn't long before we're both coming and after he wipes my center with some toilet paper, he pulls up the boxers and turns me around to kiss me.

"I missed you so much, Christian." I watch him fix himself and then step up to hug him around the waist when he's finished.

"Oh, Sugar, I'm sorry. Didn't Elliot keep you company?" He brushes my hair off my shoulder and cups my neck.

"Yes, I love spending time with Elliot, but he's no replacement for you. I need my Christian."

With a sigh, his forehead presses against mine and he closes his eyes. "Anastasia." With another deep breath he stands straight and hugs me tight, letting me squeeze him back. "Do you have any idea what you do to me?"

"I don't think so." I answer honestly.

He kisses the top of my head. "I have to go now. Mia is going to come looking for you."

"I know." I groan out. "I'll keep Mia's attention so you can sneak out."

He smiles and gives me another kiss. "I need you to come to mine tomorrow. I need more time with you."

"Yes. I promise. Just tell me what time." I give him one last chaste kiss and open the door before peeking out. Seeing the coast is clear, I hurry down the hall and back to the living room.

"Damn girl. We thought you got lost." Mia teases me while Kate gives me a knowing smirk. I actually flush at this.

"Sorry." I'm annoyed that I sound breathless. "Had some... complications." I have a seat on the couch and look at the table. "Mia? No more wine? We need a refill."

"Okay?"

"Will you go get it? You know I hate opening the bottles."

She rolls her eyes but smiles. "So needy."

When she disappears into the kitchen, Christian pops out of the hall and blows me a kiss before smiling.

Kate gasps. "Dimples! Ana, he's got-"

"Sshhhhh!" I clamp a hand over her mouth. "Shut up! Mia will hear you!" I look back toward the hall to the front door and he's gone. I release her mouth and settle back.

"Holy fuck, girl." Kate waves her hand at her face. "He just doubled his attractiveness score with those."

I grin. "I know. They're gorgeous. He's gorgeous." God, I miss him already. I can't wait to see him.