Chapter 2 - New Roommates Are Always Tricky
"Hey there."
Slowly, Gigi raised his eyelids, more out of social obligation than from personal desire to do so.
Good morning, Marinette, he projected.
"More afternoon than morning," she replied. "You were out like a light when I got up, so I let you rest."
Hmmph. That is unusual for me, he pondered. I have traditionally been an early riser. With a business empire to manage, one cannot dawdle and let the morning waste away.
"While that is true... you weren't nocturnal then."
I beg your pardon?
"Hamsters are nocturnal animals. They're generally awake at night, then sleep during most of the day. Their sleep cycle is in chunks, a little here and a little there, rather than one big block of rest," Marinette explained. "I know all about them! Probably a lot more than you do, even now."
That would help explain why I felt so restless all evening, mused Gigi. I had attributed it to my change in environment... and to this body horror episode that I am currently living through, naturally. Sleep evaded me for hours, and then came over me all at once... I am a stranger in my own body now, foreign impulses governing me, and apparently, I always will be.
"You can whine about it all you like," another voice chimed in, "but this is what you are now, so get used to it."
Tikki's arrival merited a scowl from Gigi this time, but he held back the baring of his claws.
Ah, the warden speaks, Gigi snarked. All too happy to remind me of the arbitrariness of the kangaroo court, and of the impossibility of parole.
"As ye sow, so shall ye reap," recited Tikki. "Isn't that how they phrased it in the olden days? It still checks out."
If doing everything possible to ease the suffering of my wife and my child is a crime, I stand accused and happily plead guilty!
The hamster reared up on its hind legs, as if delivering a melodramatic courtroom speech.
I made decisions of which I was not proud, I will grant! I put forces into motion that hurt people, and that I do regret. But in the interests of my family? I would do it all again.
"And that is why you are in this form, because you weren't totally selfish," Tikki declared, coldly, "rather than my letting Plagg have his way with you. You're welcome."
"...Tikki?" Marinette piped up, in a soft voice. "I am no happier about what he did, or to whom, or that he's living in my house now instead of facing, I don't know, actual human judges?"
Two sets of eyes turned her way.
"But I do know that I've never really heard the whole story of how we got to this point. And if I found myself... hamsterized... I know that I'd be more than a little freaked out about it," she pointed out. "I'm not forgiving anyone or anything yet, but I'll... you know... cut him a little slack for the moment."
Thank you, Marinette, Gigi harumphed.
"And the best thing that I can do right now is make the best of this crazy situation. So..."
Marinette held up two large bags from the local pet store.
"Let's get you set up properly," she told Gigi, as Tikki retreated across the room, muttering to herself as if rehearsing her next argument with him.
Gigi shuffled nervously as Marinette unbagged her purchases.
I must thank you for standing up for me just now, he allowed. I am in an uncharacteristically fragile mental state, for some odd reason.
"It's okay."
A week ago, I had the power of fifteen Kwamis at my fingertips. Five days ago, I held the universe itself in my grasp... and now, I find myself defecating into a tiny cardboard box.
That got a brief stare from Marinette. "I can see how that would be, um... unsettling," she agreed. "I can't say I've been there myself."
So I do appreciate that you are, at the very least, willing to house me and keep me safe. Out in the streets, I could not defend myself capably like this.
"About that..."
Marinette pulled up a chair and sat down for a moment. "Tikki explained something else to me while you were sleeping," she said. "While you do have to eat and drink and sleep like any other hamster, and while I will at least help you remain comfortable here... you're not in any actual danger, because you're immortal. Impervious to physical harm."
How can THAT be true?
"I'm having a psychic conversation with a hamster containing the soul of my boyfriend's father. How can that be true?" she countered. "Apparently, a five-year sentence is a five-year sentence, and Tikki didn't want you getting any ideas about it ending prematurely. So don't go crawling into the microwave oven or anything like that, 'cause it won't help. It'd just make food from there smell terrible."
I don't believe it. Let me see what happens if I...
As the hamster scurried across the table and over its edge, Marinette cried out, "Wait, stop...!"
*splut*
Aggggh...
"You can still feel pain," Marinette clarified. "You still have nerves and such; Tikki wanted you to still be able to experience that. You just can't be maimed or killed by normal means."
That is... good to know... I suppose. Could you help me back up there, please?
"Sure."
Once Gigi was resettled on the table, Marinette began displaying what she'd bought that morning.
"This is the nicest cage that I could afford," she began. "It's got a big tube system for you to explore and climb in, it's got built-in food and water dishes, an area in the corner for bathroom needs..."
The hamster's face proved expressive enough for Marinette to sense its dismay. "...You don't like it?" she worried.
It is... well, I am sure that any born-and-bred hamster would enjoy it greatly? Gigi opined. I am uncomfortable with the very notion of a cage, however.
"You're going to need one, so I got one," Marinette argued.
Put yourself in my place. You find yourself not only marooned in the home of your nemesis in a helpless state, but about to be kept, quite literally, BEHIND BARS. Is this accursed body not prison enough for me?
"And put yourself in my place. Both of us have... double lives... that would be trouble if other people knew about them, right?" she reasoned. "My parents don't know that I'm Ladybug. They certainly don't know that you're Gabriel Agreste, much less that you're the Monarch that Akumatized both of them several times! You really don't want the world to know who you were and what you did, and I've kept that to myself... so far."
...And?
"...And that means that you have to at least pretend to be a normal hamster. And normal hamsters have cages. I can... I can at least leave the door unlocked, or show you how to jimmy it open, so you can hang out in the dollhouse or around my room when I'm at home."
That is fair. And if I wander off too far, I assume that Tikki will hunt me down.
"Tikki... and her friends."
Friends?
"Right now, I have all of the Miraculous here that I recovered. That means there are... let me think... fourteen Kwamis here that you'd held captive for months?" she glared. "Right now, the others are in the Miracle Box, resting up and recovering from all of that. But I bet that they'd love to know that you're here... with no way to command them any more."
Gigi's head lowered.
I will behave. I promise, he professed. It would serve no purpose for me to scheme against you at this point. I have already accomplished what I set out to do as Monarch... and I have no desire for the Kwamis to revenge themselves upon me, more than Tikki has already.
"Good."
I cannot claim to be an expert on how a 'normal' hamster behaves, of course...
"Well, kind of like your sleep cycle, much of that will come naturally to you now," she pointed out. "You'll find yourself adjusting to life as a hamster, I'm told, doing and enjoying things that other hamsters would."
Marinette, I am an expert fencer, a world-renowned businessman, and I can play Chopin blindfolded with ease, argued Gigi. Do you truly think that this body swap means that my climbing through plastic tubes will engage me intellectually? Am I expected to content myself with running in a wheel or wrestling with little toys?
Frustrated, she sighed. "I will do my best to keep you properly occupied, okay? This is all insane and I know that there's a vivid mind trapped in there... But, like, I'm not leaving novels in your cage for you to read. My parents know that hamsters can't read, and you'd have a heck of a time turning the pages, anyway."
All right. We will work these arrangements out as we go. I am too hungry to raise much of a fuss right now, anyway, he admitted. The fruit you produced for me last night was tasty enough; luckily, I enjoyed fresh fruit as a human. For breakfast, I am thinking... perhaps an omelette, preferably one with a blend of cheeses?
Marinette shook her head, negatively. "I don't know what that would do to your digestive tract," she told him, "and I doubt I'd want to clean up the aftereffects."
What, then?
At that, she displayed a large bag of hamster food pellets...
You CANNOT be serious.
"It could be worse," she grinned. "I could feed you your own pancakes."
Gigi's snort was unmistakably one of dismay, even through tiny hamster nostrils.
After dinner, the Dupain-Chengs were joined by their daughter in the living room, along with her new arrival.
"I take it that things are normal so far?" asked Tom, watching as Marinette set the hamster down on the carpet. "No accidents?"
"Oh, no. Gigi has been good as gold," she bubbled. "I wanted to give him a tour of his new house."
"Gigi?" asked Sabine. "It's cute, but isn't that more of a girl's name?"
"Often, but not always?" answered Tom. "I've heard of some male footballers named Gigi, and a few others. An Italian boy I went to school with was named Gigi. Or as an informal nickname, short for Luigi."
"Gigi it is, then. Who am I to argue?" Sabine shrugged. "He's settled in?"
"He ate all of his food - the fruit from last night, the pellets today," confirmed Marinette. "He looked surprised that he enjoyed the pellets as much as he did, I think. I think that he prefers the dollhouse to the cage that I got him..."
"Who wouldn't rather sleep in a bed?" chuckled Tom. "Some things are universal."
"...but he sniffed around the cage for a while and didn't seem to object to it," she continued. "So I'm sure that he'll be comfortable when he's in it."
"Good. I don't mind him being loose when you're watching him," said Sabine, "but I don't want him wandering the house freely. I'd worry about tripping over him on the stairs, or finding droppings all over the house."
At that, the hamster turned and faced Sabine, and she flinched momentarily... feeling like its tiny face was emoting How dare you? for a moment.
"I wouldn't worry about that. Gigi's a smart one," Marinette declared. "He'll let me know if he starts feeling those, uh, urges while he's out."
You can guarantee that, Gigi's voice intoned in Marinette's mind. My bodily processes are sufficiently embarrassing WITHOUT witnesses, or leaving evidence. The nerve of that woman, suggesting...!
"Hmmph! I can't help but think that you're a little biased about him, Marinette. But I'll take your word about his hidden genius," Sabine smiled. "May I see him?"
"Certainly."
As Marinette picked up Gigi and brought him over to her mother's lap, she felt him freeze up in her grasp, somewhat.
I will have you remember that I am a married man - and that she is a married woman! complained Gigi. I did not consent to be... felt UP by...
"Shhh," Marinette hushed him, very subtly.
"Behave, you," Sabine instructed him as her gentle hand reached out to him. "My, his fur is very soft!"
Marinette watched with some amusement as Gigi's initial resistance to gentle back-petting melted away rapidly.
"I think he's telling me that right behind his ears is the spot," she noted, then held back giggling when that made Gigi's tiny tongue poke out in visible satisfaction.
"There you go, little fellow," smiled Sabine. "Good behavior gets rewards."
Conversation between the Dupain-Chengs continued for a few minutes, with Gigi being tranquil enough that Sabine forgot that he was even there. She only remembered it when she caught her husband giving them a quizzical look.
"What is it, Tom?" she asked.
"Maybe I'm seeing things. But is it just me or is... Gigi watching the evening news?"
The three of them turned to see, and sure enough, Gigi's full attention seemed locked upon the television set, which was midway through the daily financial report. He remained focused upon it until he realized he was being watched, at which point he whirled around abruptly and emitted a small "Squeak?"
"I, um... I told you he was a smart one," quipped Marinette.
Later that evening, as Marinette prepared for bed, she took some satisfaction from Gigi's lack of complaining.
"Are you all right over there?" she asked him. "Anything else you need tonight?"
My needs are fulfilled for now, he answered. Thank you for asking, though.
"Good. Your cage door is open, so you can climb over and sleep where you'll be more comfortable, or... whatever." Marinette gave him a meaningful glance, adding, "Please don't make me regret that."
You will not. I am not sure what I will do with myself all night. If it's anything like last night, I will be staring at the ceiling for hours... but I understand that you are a growing girl and you need your sleep, and I do not plan on doing anything unusual.
"I'm not going right to sleep. I can talk for a little bit," she offered. "I'm just getting ready for some texting back and forth with Adrien right now. He'll message me when he's online."
There was a long pause.
May I ask... how is my son doing?
"Of course you can ask," said Marinette, quickly. "He is... obviously, he's stunned by the whole turn of events. We're doing everything we can to support him, emotionally and otherwise. He says that Nathalie's been a real rock for him, and that the rest is, how did he put it... not 'one day at a time,' but 'one hour at a time.'"
So far, so good, then.
"I guess that's one way to put it," she agreed, half-heartedly. "He's got a long way to go before he'll be anything resembling his old self again. But he won't walk a single step of that all alone."
Her voice choked up for a moment. "Do you want to know why I haven't told him the truth yet, as myself or as Ladybug?" she asked him.
Very much so.
"Because he is very, very bitter that Monarch took his father away. A father that he loved very much," stammered Marinette. "And he's taken it quite personally, as if somehow he was to blame for what had happened."
That... that part doesn't make any sense! What happened was my own choice, my own self-imposed doom. What happened was... FOR him, to a degree, but he would have no way of knowing that!
"I've tried to tell him that, as much as I can, that I would have any way of knowing..."
He does not know that you are Ladybug?
"No, he doesn't. Very few people do. Anyway..." Pausing to wipe her eyes, Marinette continued. "I've told him that there was no way he could have known what would happen. That if he'd been there somehow, he could've gotten hurt or worse, and that would've destroyed me. He just tells me that 'he should've been there,' that 'he could've made a difference...' and then he bawls his eyes out."
"I don't completely get it," she added. "We all process grief in our own ways, I suppose. My job is to be there for him and to be understanding, even at what I don't fully understand."
Gigi fell silent.
"I'm not telling you that to punish you, or to twist the knife, Mr. Agreste," she stated, flatly. "But it's the truth, and it's why I've held back so far. I don't hate you as a person, but I hate so many things that you've done. Adrien doesn't hate you, either; he loves you. You know that. But if he learns that the person he hates more than any other was his father... I don't know how he would react."
The silence continued.
"Are you all right over there?" she asked.
I would ask you a slightly different question, if I may.
"Go ahead."
Before all of this, before I played my final card as Monarch... in the days, weeks, perhaps months before that... how was my son doing? In a far more general sense?
"You're asking me that?" wondered Marinette. "You're his father."
I am that. But in that time where I was so obsessed with accomplishing my goal, fixing what had been broken, defeating you and your partner... I feel that you were closer to his honest feelings, his true self than I was.
"Oh."
What was he like as a classmate of yours? As a friend? How well did he get along with the others there?
"That... I can tell you about."
And for the next forty minutes before Adrien messaged her to say goodnight, with a rapt audience of one recently-created rodent, that is precisely what she did.