"I was told that this wouldn't be obscene," Diana said to Maria.
Maria blinked in confusion. "It's not."
"You're naked," Diana said.
"Yes, but no one's touching me, including myself," Maria said. "That's not obscene, that's just nudity."
Diana stared at her, then sighed. "I… can't really refute that. But please cover yourself up."
Maria shrugged, wrapping the comforter around her shoulders. Truthfully, she was partially sitting on it. Soft as the carpet was, the comforter was nicer.
"All right!" Katarina declared. "Now that Selena is here, I hereby declare our second girl's sleepover party officially in progress."
"What were you doing before I arrive?" Lady Berg asked, looking slightly out of place sitting on the carpeted floor in her dress.
"The pre-sleepover party sleepover party," Katarina said cheerfully. "And now, to choose theme of tonight's sleepover!" she drew out several scraps of paper. "If this is your first sleepover party, then what we is we all write down what we want to talk about and then mix them up together and pick one at random! That will be the sleepover party's discussion topic!"
"So a sleepover is less like a tea party and more like a moderated debate?" Maria said.
"No, we just share each other's opinions on whatever the topic is, no one's trying to win anything," Sophia said.
"But this is all just between all us girls, so no telling other people about what someone else says," Katarina said. "Right Anne?"
"Yes, my lady," Miss Shelley said, reminding everyone that the servants were, in fact, in the room.
"A part of me feels this is politically dangerous…" Lady Berg said. Maria had to agree.
"Why? It's not like we're going to be talking politics," Katarina said. "I don't even understand politics. No politics questions."
Ah. Well, there went Maria's question. She'd have to think of a new one…
After everyone had written down their questions using the charcoal stick Katarina passed around, they all mixed the slips of paper together and had Miss Shelley, as a neutral party, pick the first question.
Question pull 1: "If you could use the Ashen Mist Heart to visit the past, what would you like to see?"
"Oooh!" Sophia squealed. "The Ashen Mist Heart! They used that in Night Fall's 'Return to Tomorrow' trilogy, where Scholar Brune used it to create a magic cart!"
"Wasn't that the Pendulum of Time?" Katarina said.
"Yes, but it's assembled from several different things– like the pendant, before we found out what it did– and one of the pieces was the Ashen Mist Heart," Sophia said. "Ah, I want to go back to see the battle between the gods and the dragons! It must have been very exciting!"
"You know, saying things like that is the reason there are weird rumors about you," Lady Hunt said.
"Yes, yes, I'm the reincarnation of the paledrake, me and every other scaleless child ever born," Sophia said, rolling her eyes. "You realize only the original dragon was scaleless, everyone else over the millennia have had perfectly normal coloration before they manifested?"
"I know that, but then you say something weird like wanting to revisit the paledrake's greatest betrayal," Lady Hunt said.
"Fine, what would you want to see?" Sophia challenged.
"I'd definitely go back and watch the day Lady Katarina and I first met," Lady Hunt sighed. Everyone else rolled their eyes, and out of the corner of her eye Maria saw souls subtly change hands among the servants.
"Hmmm…" Katarina mused. "The past? I'd go back to when I was sixteen and tell myself to be careful crossing the street."
"The question is 'what we'd like to see', Lady Katarina, nothing about changing the past," Maria reminded her.
"Eh? Well, if it's just see… then I'd like to see… huh, I don't really want to see anything. All the nice things that happened to me, I always remember, like when I first met all my friends… " Katarina shrugged.
"Lady Katarina!" Mary and Sophia sniffed.
"I'd want to go back and see if the Chosen Lord was a man or a woman," Lady Redmane said. "I know it's a common question, but it's always bothered me."
"Eh?" Katarina said. "Why does that matter?"
"Because while we don't remember if the Chosen Lord is a man or a woman, we do remember they were married to Queen Shanalotte, the Last Firekeeper," Lady Redmane said. "I just want to know whether they were husband and wife or wife and wife, that's all."
"Oh, that old argument," Lady Hunt said, sounding dismissive. "Does it really matter?"
"I think it's important," Lady Redmane said quietly.
"Um, let's not get contentious," Lady Landoor said. "Personally, I'd want to go back and see Queen Yuri's defeat to Duchess Iris. I know it wasn't that long ago, but it was such a pivotal moment for the continent… I kinda want to see it with my own eyes."
"I'd go back to ancient Gerudo," Diana said. "I've heard stories about it since I was young, but I've never really understood what the ancient calamity my uncle used to tell me about was. I didn't sound like their version of the Age of Fire ending. Perhaps if I could see it things would be clear."
"I'd like to see what my prince was like as a young boy," Lady Berg sighed. "Unlike you Lady Katarina, Lady Mary, my prince and I met when we were much older. We didn't have childhood memories together. Perhaps if I could see him when he was younger…"
"I want to see the ancient cities of myth," Lady Tucker sighed. "Most of the descriptions we get are remnants from the Last Age of Fire, and it just talks about how everything is ashy and broken and abandoned… I want to see what those places where like when they were full of people and full of life! Anor Londo, Lothric, Lost Izalith, Oolacile, Drangleic, Mirrah, the motherland of Catarina, Eleum Loyce, Friedonia, Corona, Alken, Venn, all those places…"
"Ooh, bring me along for that trip!" Sophia said. "Can we go see Anor Londo's Archives? They say it had every book in the world ever published…"
"What about you, Lady Maria?" Katarina said.
Maria tilted her head thoughtfully. "I'd like to go back to the night my father never returned home and see what happened to him," Maria said. "So that my mother can move on."
There was an awkward silence.
"NEXT QUESTION!" Sophia cried, holding up the remaining mixed questions.
Question pull 2: "If you were a knight, would you rather be strong or fast?"
"Fast," Maria said instantly. "Definitely fast. Speed is better than armor."
"Would you barb your katana to make your enemies bleed too?" Lady Hunt muttered.
"Yes," Maria said. After all, the more blood, the better.
"Knew it," Lady Hunt said.
"Isn't that dishonorable?" Lady Landoor said. "Knights always speak so disparagingly about dexterous knights who are fast."
"That's usually because they always lose to those kinds of knights, since they're more adaptable and can easily avoid their swings," Sophia said. "Dextrous speed all the way!"
"I think a balance is best," Lady Redmane said. "Isn't a knight who's strong and fast better than one who's just strong or fast?"
"Yeah, but a knight who focuses on one is stronger or faster than a knight who is trying to be both," Sophia said.
"I think I'd rather be strong," Katarina said. "It would make it easier to swing my hoe."
"Yes, I completely agree, Lady Katarina!" Lady Hunt cried predictably. "Yes, knights should be strong!"
Sophia snorted. "Copycat," she muttered.
"Um, I don't really know enough to form an opinion," Lady Berg said.
"Same," Lady Landoor said.
"I guess… strength?" Lady Tucker said hesitantly, blancing sideways at Katarina. "So that I can wear armor and not get hurt!"
"Ooh, good reason Ginger!" Katarina said, giving an approving thumbs-up.
"Speed," Diana said. "It wouldn't just pertain to bodily speed, but speed in casting magic as well, would it not? And the first one to strike with magic would win."
"Hmm… that's a point," Lady Redmane said. "The word used is rather vague as to what it applies too…"
After a brief break when Selena's sleepwear arrived and she got dressed, it was on to the next question!
Question pull 3: "What do you think is the best way to fulfill your duty as a noble?"
"One of you two wrote this, didn't you?" Lady Hunt said, pointing between Diana and Maria.
"The questions are anonymous," Maria said serenely.
"There's no way to tell," Diana said with equal serenity.
"Well, since you two are the ones most likely to have an opinion on it, why don't you start first?" Sophia said, looking amused.
"As I knight, I believe I best fulfill my duty by protecting the people, defending the land and upholding the laws of Sorcier," Maria said.
"Is that in order of priority?" Sophia said.
"I could not possibly comment," Maria said.
"And you wonder why people give you their underwear," Lady Hunt muttered, rolling her eyes.
"I don't see the connection, Lady Hunt," Maria said.
"As for myself, I believe that the best way to fulfill my duty as a noble is to constantly improve and better myself so that I may serve the kingdom to the best of my ability," Diana said.
"Seek strength, the rest will follow?" Sophia said, sounding mildly teasing.
"It worked for the Chosen Lord when he was a mere bearer of the curse of undeath," Diana said tranquilly.
"Go beyond death!" Sophia cheered.
"As for me, I believe I best fulfill my duty by being at my prince's side," Lady Berg said.
"Lucky you," Lady Hunt said. "My fiancé just wants to play music. Not very fulfilling. And one of my sisters is probably going to inherit, so not much duty to fulfill on that end either."
"I'm going to fulfill my duty by making enormous piles of money and using it to pay my taxes," Sophia said, the light of avarice in her eyes.
"Good for you Sophia!" Katarina congratulated.
"And use the rest to crush the people who teased me for being pale!"
"Um… less good, Sophia," Katarina said.
"Hmm… I have never really thought of it," Lady Landoor said. "I just try to live my life as best as I can and fulfill my obligations along the way. Though getting married will probably play into it at some point…"
"I'm sort of the similar situation as Lady Hunt," Lady Tucker sighed. "I don't really have much in the way of prospects… so most likely I'll just go back home and farm."
"Ah, I'm so jealous, Ginger!" Katarina cried.
"Eh?!" Lady Tucker exclaimed, surprised. "You're jealous of me, Lady Katarina?!"
"Yeah! To think you could fulfill your duty simply by farming," Katarina sighed. "I love farming, but I don't think my mother will let me do that to fulfill my duty."
"Then how do you think you can fulfill your duty, Lady Katarina?" Maria asked.
"I think I'd best fulfill my duty by not becoming a royal and just staying at home so I can't be embarrassing," Katarina said.
Everyone looked at each other. "Agreed," they chorused, as the servants nodded fervently in the background.
"What about you, Lady Redmane?" Maria asked.
"To tell you the truth, Lady Campbell," Lady Redmane said, blushing slightly, "I… wish to be a knight."
"A knight?" Lady Hunt exclaimed.
"Ooh, cool!" Katarina said. "You'd make a great knight, Lady Fate!"
"Lady Fate as a knight…" Sophia said, crossing her arms and nodding. "Yes, I can see it."
"Yes… I've wanted to be a knight since I was young," Lady Redmane said, her head bowed bashfully. "You see, when I was younger, I was saved from drowning by a knight. I know it sounds silly, but ever since then I've worked to become a knight. I learned weapons, trained my body so I can wear armor, and I've been studying offensive magic I could use…"
"Very laudable," Maria nodded.
"Um, now that we're on the subject…" Lady Redmane took a deep breath. "Lady Campbell, I was wondering if you would be willing to take me as your squire when I graduate next year? Truthfully, I was originally planning to use this summer to search for a knight who might be willing to take me in, or failing that seek admittance to the royal guard, but after you were knighted…" Lady Redmane took a deep breath, stood and formally knelt. "Dame Maria Campbell, I beg you to consider my application."
"Do you think that because we know each other, I will be gentle with you?" Maria said.
"No, Dame Campbell," Lady Redmane said. "I expect you to make me beg for death, so that I might go beyond death."
Sophia opened her mouth to cheer, but Lady Hunt, Lady Landoor and Lady Tucker all slapped their hands over her mouth.
Maria tilted her head, then nodded. "I expect you to maintain or exceed the grades you made this year. If you manage to do so, then, if I have time, will accept your application."
Lady Redmane sighed. "Thank you, Dame Campbell."
"We'll see," Maria said tranquilly.
"This would be so much more moving if one of you wasn't completely naked," Lady Hunt sighed.
"Yeah, Maria got really perky when Fate got all masochist like that," Sophia agreed.
Question pull 4: "What foods do you want to try that you've never had before?"
"This is Lady Katarina's question, isn't it?" Lady Landoor said in amusement.
"No way of knowing, the questions are anonymous," Katarina said with a bright, wide smile that fooled no one.
Everyone gave her a flat look that said so.
"Are there even foods you'd want to try if you'd never had it before?" Lady Redmane asked. "It sounds strangely philosophical. How do I know I'd want to try it if I've never had it?"
"What would you answer to this, Lady Katarina?" Diana asked.
"I want to try Gerudo food," Katarina said. "I sort of have Ashina food at Maria's, but no Gerudo food. I want to know what kinds of food they have in Gerudo."
"Technically, the Gerudo are the people," Diana said. "The place itself is called Hylia."
"I stand corrected!" Katarina said. "But I want to find out what food from there is like. They have bananas, maybe they have other ingredients and spices we don't have!"
"Well, put that way…" Diana tilted her head. "I suppose I'm curious what sort of foods they have in Ashina. Those… what did you say they were called, Lady Katarina? Noodles? Those noodles in broth were interesting. I'd like to try more like it."
"Um…" Lady Tucker sid hesitantly. "I've never had a banana before. I suppose I'd like to try one, just to see what it's like."
"It's over hyped," Diana said. "Once you get used to it, it seems kind of bland. But if you want I can send you some over the summer."
"Oh! I wouldn't want to put you through the trouble…!"
Diana waved it away. "It's fine. Even though I don't think it's as delicious as people make it out to be, it's definitely something you should try at least once."
"I want to try Lady Katarina's fried vegetable snacks," Lady Hunt declared. "I've… actually never had any! They sold out so fast and we were so busy that by the time I got there they were gone!"
"Eh? They tasted just like the ones the dining hall serves now…" Katarina said.
"No, it has to be the kind made by Lady Katarina!" Lady Hunt declared. "I'm sure it'll taste completely different, because Lady Katarina made it!"
"It does," Maria confirmed.
"See! Please, tell me what it's like!" Lady Hunt cried.
"Too hard, too oily and a bit burned," Maria said.
"Eh heh heh…" Katarina said, looking chagrinned. "Sorry, I kept overcooking mine…"
"I still want to taste it!"
"Mushroom meat," Sophia said.
Everyone blinked at her.
"Mushroom meat?" Lady Landoor repeated.
"You know those old legends about how there were mushroom people in the time of myths?" Sophia said. "I want to know what they taste like. Do they taste like mushroom or do they taste like meat?"
"See, this is why there are rumors about you!" Lady Hunt said.
"That's… a reasonable question," Maria agreed. "I'd like to know myself."
"Don't encourage her!"
"Um, well, if we're going there…" Lady Landoor said hesitantly. "I guess I wonder how sea monster meat tastes like? The Varangians hunt them, so presumably they eat them…"
"Ooh, me too!" Katarina said. "I want to try sea monster meat too!"
"I admit, that does sound intriguing," Lady Berg murmured. "I think I'd also like to try sea monster meat."
"What about you, Lady Fate?" Sophia asked.
"Um, well," Lady Redmane said, looking embarrassed. "This will sound weird."
"Weirder than Sophia wanting to eat mushroom people, the key word being 'people'?" Lady Hunt said.
"Just because it stands up on two legs and has hands doesn't mean they're 'people' people," Sophia said. "Take ogres, for example."
"Still, please don't judge me…" Lady Redmane said. She took deep breath. "Wolf blood."
Maria turned to stare at her. So did everyone else.
"Oh!" Sophia said, slamming a fist down onto her other palm. "Like the Abyss Watchers, right? They all drank the blood of the wolf and somehow were able to share in each other's power! Or something like that, it's all really vague."
Lady Redmane nodded. "I'm just… curious, I suppose. What must it have tasted like, this blood that united a knighthood such that they were all regarded as a single Lord of Cinder?"
Maria bit her tongue to keep herself from sharing her opinion.
Still… wolf's blood, was it? Hmm…
Intermission- Snack Time
"Your ladyship," Miss Shelley interrupted. "The snacks are ready."
"Hurray!" Katarina cried. "You're the best Anne!"
Maria realized that after what had happened previously, and given how little she'd eaten at the party, that she was, in fact hungry. And after sitting down for so long, she was getting a little stiff.
Everyone seemed to be of the same mind as Anne and the other servants– Lady Berg's maid had joined the lineup after she'd brought her mistress's sleepwear– began laying out food and drink on a nearby table. There was tea, juices, watered down sweet wine, and some small sandwiches and other finger foods. Since this was a party with Katarina, there were a lot of those. There were also several bowls of fried vegetable snacks, cut into either long cries or thin chips. .
As Maria stood and stretched, her blanket fell from around her shoulders. Fortunately, the fire at the fireplace and what she supposed was good construction kept the whole room pleasantly warm as she raised her arms above her and stretched, twisting her body back and forth to stretch out her spine.
"… and we're back to Maria showing off," Lady Hunt said.
"Are those abs? Are those the mythical abs I've only ever heard about described in my books?" Sophia said.
Maria looked down at her stomach, frowning at what Sophia could be talking about. Her stomach was tight, but smooth. "No, those are bigger," Maria said.
"They disappeared when you leaned forward to look past your huge… tracts of land!" Sophia said, pointing accusingly.
Everyone looked at her.
"'Huge tracts of land'?" Lady Landoor repeated.
"My tracts of land are very small," Maria corrected. "I only have two villages and a town."
"Who uses 'tracts of land' as a euphemism?" Lady Hunt said.
"Well, what would you call those… things," Sophia said, pointing back and forth at Lady Hunt's chest.
"Pride and Dignity," Lady Hunt said.
"You're weird Mary," Sophia said.
"You're the one who wants to eat mushroom people!"
Katarina had already moved to the food, eating at a more leisurely, slower rate than usual. Maria joined her, starting at the opposite end of the table from her. The knight started eating, careful not to get anything on her sleepwear.
"Wow, you're really hungry, aren't you Maria?" Katarina eventually said.
Maria shrugged bare shoulders. "I didn't get to eat much at the party. Have you been able to remember anything else by yourself, Lady Katarina? With the Dark Magic removed, your memories should have been cleared away completely." She spoke that last in a low voice so as not to be heard over the discussion of mammary euphemisms. Why were they so fascinated about ways to refer to your vials of blood?
"Yeah, I remember some," Katarina said. "I can't believe someone who seemed so nice was a Wielder of Dark Magic. She even gave me directions to get back to the party, even though I thought she was a hallway."
The duke's daughter paused, as if realizing something. "Hmm… actually, the president was pretty nice. And you're nice too Maria. And even Sora is really nice once you get to know him… huh, wait, does that mean a Wielder of Dark Magic is a nice person in general?"
"Perhaps you were simply lucky," Maria said. She wouldn't have called... wait. "Lady Katarina, why do you say Sora is a nice person? You've only met him once."
"Oh, we've been exchanging letters," Katarina said cheerfully. "He's really fitting in at the Ministry, and seems really happy to work there."
"You… correspond with the man who conspired to kidnap you?" Maria said blandly. "Who used Dark Magic to abduct you?"
"Shouldn't I?" Katarina said.
"One… usually doesn't," Maria said, feeling one eyebrow start to twitch.
"Eh? But I don't want to stop being friends with Sora! Wait, does this mean I have to stop being friends with Selena and Rafael too?" Katarina said.
Maria closed her eyes, rubbing the bridge of her nose. This girl… "I suppose it's too late now, but please avoid it in the future, Lady Katarina," she said. "It's not proper behavior."
"Hey, Lady Campbell!" Lady Hunt called, and Maria turned away from the food to look towards her. For some reason, she was bouncing a coin in her hand. "Can you do us a favor? Point your back towards us and bend over?" Lady Hunt said.
Confused, Maria looked towards Sophia, who nodded with a big smile on her face. Shrugging, Maria stood up and did so.
Something struck her from behind, and she straightened quickly, glaring behind her. All she saw was the coin landing on the carpet.
"See?" Sopiha said triumphantly. "You CAN bounce souls off of it! Wow, that's tight!"
Katarina was stifling a laugh as Lady Hunt huffed, pinching at her own posterior and looking envious.
"Lady Campbell," Selena said, expression grave and tones serious, "how can I make my seat as tight as yours?"
"This feels vaguely obscene," Diana said. But she was smiling as she said it.
Question pull 5: "What attribute do you most admire about someone else that you wish you had yourself?"
"I admire Lady Mary's huge, kingdom-sized tracts of land." Sophia said.
"Please don't talk about my Pride and Dignity so crudely," Lady Hunt said.
"We're back on this already?" Diana sighed.
"Sophia and her two villages and a town started it," Lady Hunt said.
"No, I'm the one with two villages and a town," Maria corrected.
"I'm pretty sure what you have count as duchies," Sophia said, glaring at Maria's vials of blood.
"Can we stop talking about them now?" Lady Tucker said, blushing. "Um… I really admire Lady Katarina's confidence. I wish I was even half as confident as her."
"Eh, well, I suppose you need confidence to be a villainess," Katarina said. It was a complete non-sequitur, but it was hardly the strangest thing Maria had come out of her mouth.
"Confidence? Is that what you call it?" Sophia said.
"N-no! I mean ACTUAL confidence!"
"Speaking of which, I most admire the blond cape-swisher's engagement to Lady Katarina!" Lady Hunt said.
"Huh?" Lady Katarina said, tilting her head and frowning in confusion. "That's a strange thing to admire…"
"You don't actually admire that, you just want it," Sophia accused.
"You had your chance, and you picked me," Lady Hunt said, crossing her arms and briefly lifting them up, emphasizing the focus of Sophia's admiration.
"At least my admiration is sincere," Sophia countered.
Diana turned to Maria. "I blame you for this," she said flatly, glaring down significantly at Maria's exposed features.
"I admit, I blame myself a little as well," Maria conceded.
"So you're going to put something on?" Diana said.
Maria blinked at her in confusion. "But this is my sleepwear."
Diana sighed. "Lord Claes was right," she muttered. Eh? What was Lord Claes right about?
"What about you, Lady Diana?" Katarina asked. "What do you admire?"
"Hmm," Diana said. "I suppose I admire Lady Maria's ability to perform her duty, no matter how onerous, and make it look easy. No, not merely easy. As if it didn't matter."
Maria stared at her.
"I admire the fact Lady Maria managed to become a knight at such a young age," Lady Redmane said. "And she's actually capable of fighting as one instead of merely holding a title."
"Yes, how did you manage that?" Lady Hunt said suspiciously.
"Truly, I still have no idea," Maria said. "But as I am one, I must become worthy of it."
"There you go again, sounding like a proper heroine," Katarina said, crossing her arms (if without the fanfare of Lady Hunt doing so) and nodding. "That's our Lady Maria!"
"Speaking of, how about you, Lady Maria?" Sophia asked. "What do you admire about someone?"
Maria considered it. "My mother," she said. "For being able to love a thoughtless child like me." She sighed. "I really hope I can convince her to move into my manor. I'd want to see more of her after graduation."
"Huh, Lady Campbell's the only other person not to answer someone in this room," Lady Landoor said, amused.
"Do you think she won't?" Lady Tucker said.
Maria shrugged. "My father's family has lived in that house for generations, or so my mother says," Maria said. "It's our last link to my father. I don't think either of us is really willing to let it go."
There was an awkward silence.
"Er, what about you Lady Fray, Lady Selena, Lady Katarina?" Sophia said, sounding frantic for some reason.
"Ah, well," Lady Berg said, sounding hurried, "I really admire Lady Katarina's ability to make friends easily. I think my life would be very different if it was as easy for me… "
"Eh?" Katarina said. "How would it be different?"
"W-well, I'd have a lot of friends…" Lady Berg said, sounding embarrassed.
Katarina tilted her head. "But you have a lot of friends now, right? I mean, you have me and Lady Lalatina and Mary and Sophia and Maria… and now Ginger and Fray and Fate and Diana too! So I don't think I'd be too different?"
"E-eh?" Lady Berg said. Lady Landoor, Lady Tucker and Lady Redmane looked equally shocked. "A-are we really friends now?" They all looked at each other.
Sophia coughed. "Well, we've all spent time with the same naked woman," she said. "I think among men that counts as the beginning of friendship?"
"That sounds vaguely obscene," Maria said. "You make me sound like some sort of harlot."
"You are the one going around with no clothes on," Diana said.
"Yes, but this is my sleepwear, and it was specified that we wear our sleepwear."
"Or not wear it," Lady Hunt said dryly.
Maria nodded. "Yes. See, Lady Hunt understands."
"Don't drag me into this."
"Ah, well as to attributes I admire…" Lady Landoor mused. Suddenly she giggled. "Ah! I greatly admire Lord Nicol Ascart's looks. He's prettier than many woman."
"Yup, big brother is the prettiest man in the world," Sophia said proudly, a smug smirk on her face as she stood with her hands on her hips. "No woman alive is prettier than big brother."
All the girls nodded. Nicol Ascart was prettier than any of them. That was just a fact. It was a fact none of them particularly liked, but like falls from high places being lethal, it was an unavoidable truth of the world.
"What about you, Lady Katarina?" Maria asked. "What do you most admire about someone?"
"Hmm…" Katarina said. "I suppose I admire how Maria has someone who loves her and wants to be with her forever." She sighed. "I wish I had someone like that."
Everyone stared at her, even the servants.
"What about the Third Prince?" Maria had to ask.
Katarina blinked. "What about him?"
"Doesn't he love you? He says so often enough," Maria said.
"Ah, no, that's just how he discourages women from approaching him by using me as a shield against unwanted engagements," Katarina said, waving a hand dismissively. "He doesn't really love me, that's just the rumor he spread."
All along the walls where they were, all the servants let their faces fall into their hands. Maria felt like joining them.
Question pull 6: "If you had to have a woman as a lover, what sort of woman would you prefer?"
Everyone stared at the question.
"Wow…" Katarina said, smiling awkwardly. "How embarrassing… "
"Lady Katarina!" Lady Hunt cried. "Please! Tell me all about your thoughts in this matter!"
"Who wrote this?" Maria said, giving Lady Hunt not so much a suspicious look as a one that condemned her given the available evidence.
"The questions are anonymous, there's no way to tell!" Lady Hunt said.
"Oh, I'm pretty sure we can tell," Lady Landoor said, looking amused as she said it.
"The questions are anonymous, there's no way to tell!" Lady Hunt repeated. "Lady Katarina, please answer the question first!"
"Wait, this is so sudden…" Katarina said, frowning and stroking her chin, looking like a caricature of deep thought. Everyone in the room leaned forward to hear her answer. Even herself, Maria realized. "Well, I suppose if I were a man, I'd like…"
Everyone waited with bated breath.
"Someone kind, cute and a good cook!" Katarina declared
Maria nodded. Of course. It was always about the food with Katarina.
"Someone like Maria!" Katarina continued.
The hairs all over Maria's body rose as she suddenly found herself being stared at by everyone. She suddenly felt like imminent death was coming at her in the form of a bloodstarved, dangerous, murderous beast, but when she glanced in the direction her instincts told her danger was coming from, all she saw was Lady Hunt.
…
Was this the night she was going to die? Suddenly being naked didn't seem like such a good idea. Her swords and guns were tucked away, she didn't even have any padding for even the most modest armor, and Lady Hunt was the most likely to kill someone to have Katarina all to herself…
Maria rolled her shoulders and prepared to rip Lady Hunt's heart out through her stomach. She'd regret it, but if it was Maria or her… well, Maria liked living again.
"But we're both girls, so I suppose we can only be friends," Maria said. "Besides, Maria has Rafael."
"Yes!" Maria said, a bit too loudly. "I'm spoken for. And I see Lady Katarina only as a friend."
The feeling of imminent, oncoming death decreased almost to nothing. Still, Maria should probably avoid Lady Hunt for the next few weeks…
"I'm afraid I must correct you, Lady Katarina," Diana said, voice slightly cool. "This isn't the Age of Fire anymore, and humanity isn't being controlled by self-serving gods. It's perfectly all right for two women to be married and not merely be restricted to being friends."
"That's right!" Lady Redmane said. "It's been that way for millennia! Frankly, I'm astonished that someone would still say such things in this day and Age of Humanity."
"Now, now," Lady Landoor said, trying to be reconciliatory. "It's Lady Katarina we're talking about, she could just genuinely not know."
"It's probably that prince," Lady Hunt muttered. Despite still glaring at Maria a little, she was now occupied thrashing her most hated. "Probably giving her strange ideas like how women should only marry men, poisoning Lady Katarina's mind…"
"To be fair, there's nothing wrong with that," Lady Berg said. "Women marrying men, that is. I fully intend to marry a man."
"Well, yes, if you're into that sort of thing…" Lady Hunt said dismissively.
"Anyway, Lady Katarina…" Diana said.
Maria tuned out the extensive lecture on 'why two girls can only be friends has been an outdated concept since the Chosen Lord and their wife' as she went to eat some more, getting herself nicely full after the exertion of earlier that night.
No one else did manage to answer the question. Ah, well, Maria was glad she wouldn't have to lie about her answer. 'A girl whose blood tastes good' would probably not have gone over well…
Question pull 7: "What do you think of the future of Sorcier?"
Oh! It was Maria's question! She found herself eager to find out what the other girls–
"Disqualified!" Sophia said. "Too politically charged!"
"Seconded!" Lady Hunt said. "All in favor of skipping this one?"
Katarina, Lady Landoor, Lady Tucker, and Lady Redmane all nodded.
"Motion carries! Skip!"
Maria twitched. They all had to answer that stupid food question but not this one? How was that fair?!
Question pull 8: "What is your favorite weapon?"
"A saber," Maria said instantly. Though really, a twinblade that could turn into a saber and a shortsword– or could that be considered a saber and a shortsword that combined into a twinblade?– was best! Ah, old friend, you are dearly missed…
"My new revolvers," Sophia practically cooed. "Haven't used them yet outside of practice but I already love them!"
"Do you love them more or less than you love books?" Lady Hunt said.
Sophia froze. "Do I have to choose? That's not part of the question! I DON'T HAVE TO ANSWER THAT!"
"What about you, Mary?" Katarina asked.
"Of course, I prefer a proper noblewoman's weapon," Lady Hunt said.
"A rapier?" Lady Redmane guessed.
"Scandalous information for blackmail," Lady Hunt said cheerfully.
"Huh?" Katarina said cluelessly. "What's that?"
Did she… have no conception of blackmail? Oh, that was terrifying. Maria was suddenly very glad Katarina would be with her mother for the foreseeable future. She hoped she had time to inform the duchess as to this gap in Katarina's education.
"Lady Mary, I believe I would like to utilize this weapon as well," Lady Berg said. "Perhaps we could speak privately about it in future?"
"Why, I would be delighted, Lady Selena," Lady Hunt said.
The two of the leaned close, their heads together, and laughed a truly frightening laugh.
It occurred to Maria she'd never really properly learned how to blackmail someone. She knew the basic theory, but…
Had she remembered to destroy all evidence when she'd tortured that woman? She hoped Lady Hunt never found any…
"Um, I have no preferred weapon," Lady Tucker said.
"I'm reasonably able with a dagger," Lady Landoor said. "But I would hardly call it a preferred weapon."
As Lady Tucker stared at Lady Landoor, as if she'd never seen her before, Lady Redmane said, "My weapon of choice is a scythe," she said.
"Like the secret daughter of Gwyndolin? The Lifehunter?" Maria said.
Lady Redmane nodded. "I actually have one packed away in my things," she said, "Though I lacked the time to drill with it much this year… "
"Does the blade come off and let you use it as a sword?" Maria asked.
"Er, no, it's not made to do that," Lady Redmane said.
Maria frowned. How pointless. "Why not?"
"It's structurally unsound?" Lady Redmane said.
It was? How absurd. It was perfectly sound, all you needed was some siderite and…
Wait, did they even have siderite here?
As Maria considered that, Diana said, "While I do not have a preferred weapon, in extremis I would rely on my magic,' she said, raising a finger and summoning a flame to dance upon it. "It's simple, straightforward, and I am confident in my use of it. Should I be in danger, it would be my weapon of choice to see me through."
Sophia coughed, which sounded suspiciously like a word. Casul? What was that?
"What about you, Lady Katarina?" Lady Berg asked.
"Um, I don't really like to fight…" Katarina said. "That's good way to get a death flag, after all…"
"Think of it this way," Maria said. "if someone attacks you with a sword, what would you rather have in your hand to defend yourself with?"
Katarina considered that. "My hoe," she said, nodding.
"Your hoe?" Maria said, confused.
Katarina nodded again. "It's longer than my sword, so I can hit him before he hits me."
"You'd prefer your hoe to your sword?" Maria said, trying to wrap her head around that, even though it felt like she needed to unwrap her brain and add a few eyes. "Not your sword, that you're more versed in?"
"Nope," Katarina said. "My hoe all the way. If I'm in enough trouble that someone is attacking me, I'll need my hoe to run away and start a new life in another country by becoming a farmer."
"…"
"That makes sense for Lady Katarina," Sohpia said, nodding. "Next!"
Last question: "What made you fall in love with your beloved?"
"Yes!" Katarina cried, pushing into the air triumphantly. "Finally, a properly girl-talk question!"
"I'm afraid I have to pass," Lady Landoor demurred. "I don't have a beloved."
"Why don't you go first, Mary?" Katarina said. "Tell us how you fell in love with Alan."
Wait, what? Maria knew Lady Hunt and Prince Alan were engaged, but in love? They were friends at best. Both were completely infatuated with Katarina, if in their own ways. Only a complete fool would think… oh.
"Ah, it was so romantic," Lady Hunt said as Maria sighed. "We were at my garden and they told me that I had a green thumb, and that I'd raised a beautiful garden. It was the first time anyone had complimented me since my mother died, the first time someone had said I wasn't worthless." She sighed, staring at something only she could see that was coincidentally in the same direction as Katarina. "From that moment, I was hopelessly in love."
"Ah, something similar happened to me," Lady Berg said with her own sigh. "I fell in love with my prince at first sight. The moment a met him, I knew that I loved him. I feel much closer to you knowing you met Prince Alan, Lady Mary."
"Eh? Alan? Oh, yes! Alan! Yes, I was definitely talking about my fiancé…" Lady Hunt said, glancing away duplicitously and probably fooling only Lady Berg and Katarina.
From the looks of it, Sophia at least hadn't been fooled.
"Um, I don't really have a beloved…" Lady Tucker said, glancing at Katarina so obviously Maria and Diana rolled their eyes, then exchanged sardonic smiles. "B-but if I did… I think I'd fall in love with them after they showed me a simple act of kindness…"
"Yes, that sounds about right," Lady Hunt said.
"Kind people are very easy to fall in love with," Sophia agreed. "Not that I'd know, as I don't have a fiancée. So I suppose I'd have to pass on this question."
"I'm afraid I must pass as well," Diana said. "I have nothing useful to contribute to the question."
Lady Redmane shuffled nervously. "We've known each other since children," she said, sounding nervous. Bloodtinge filled her cheeks. "As for… well… um, this is embarrassing…"
"Ooh, tell! Tell!" Katarina pressed, smiling eagerly.
Lady Redmane took a deep breath. "I fell in love after they hit me in the face and broke my nose while sparring."
Dead silence.
"Eh?" Katarina said, sounding confused.
"I know it sounds strange, but I don't think I'd have fallen for them if they hadn't done that," Lady Redmane said, face as bright as her name. "And yes, I've heard all the jokes about having my brains addled, but… it was love. In their defense, we were sparring pretty intently, and when they broke my nose… I felt as if they were conveying their true feelings, of how much they enjoyed the spar…"
"As the Light Magic Wielder present, I feel I must ask how concussed you were then this happened," Maria said. Several people nodded.
"Oh, I was very concussed," Lady Redmane said. "Thankfully, a one of those present was a Light Mage, and healed me, so I wasn't brain damaged. I remember how concerned they were and how much they cried as I was being healed and…" she shrugged. "That's when I realized I loved her."
"This is a very unusual story," Maria said. "Please don't take it personally if we don't see it in a classically romantic context. But I'm glad for you that it happened. Was this the young woman I remember being with you during the school festival?"
Lady Redmane nodded. "Her name is Nancy Hightown. Her father's a baron. We both intend to be knights together."
"Now that's romantic!" Sophia cried. "Two Dark Souls in shining armor, standing against the world with scythe and sword in hand–"
"Spear," Lady Redmane corrected. "Nancy prefers a spear."
"–scythe and spear in hand," Sophia corrected. "Facing against an evil curse to defend the future of the kingdom!"
"Plot of a romance novel?" Lady Hunt asked.
"Plot of a romance novel," Katarina confirmed, with a nod. "A lot of them, actually."
"Now it's your turn, Lady Maria!" Sophia declared, pointing at Maria. "We already know the who, so tell us the why! Confess!"
Maria shrugged. "It's nothing so great. He made me laugh. I don't know if you've noticed, but I am often a humorless person."
"Shocking," Lady Hunt said blandly.
"This is news to me," Sophia said, equally bland.
"I would never have guessed," Diana said.
Maria gave them a flat stare, which they returned. She sighed. "Well, he made me laugh. And smile. It had been a long time since I'd done either at that point." There was a beat. "Also, there were several days where he and I were the only ones doing the paperwork, creating a bond forged of pain and suffering between us."
"Wow. You managed to work paperwork into it somehow. I want to be surprised, but I'm not," Lady Hunt said.
"All right!" Katarina cried. "We've answered all the girl talk questions! Wasn't that fun?"
Maria tilted her head as she considered. "It… wasn't unpleasant," she allowed. "I'm not sure about fun."
"Translated from Maria-talk, she had fun," Sophia said. "Hooray!"
"Hooray!" everyone else replied with varying amounts of enthusiasm.
There was a beat.
"Now what?" Maria asked.
"More food?" Katarina said hopefully, looking towards Miss Shelley.
"It's late, your ladyship," Miss Shelley said sternly. "No more food."
"Awww…" Katarina whined.
"So do we sleep now?" Lady Berg asked.
"No, the point of a sleepover is not to sleep, it's to stay up for as long as possible having fun!" Katarina declared.
Maria looked towards the servants, some of whom were swaying on their feet and looking horrified at Katarina's proclamation.
"A fine idea, Lady Katarina," she said. "But first, could you do something for me?"
"Er, sure?" Katarina said.
Maria shuffled forward. "Close your eyes and count slowly count backwards from twenty," she said as she leaned to be in arms-length of Katarina.
With a confused look on her face, Katarina did as she asked. Closing her eyes, Katarina started counting, "20… 19… 18…"
"Slower," Maria said, as she reached for Katarina's face, aware that Lady Hunt was suddenly glaring at her.
"!7… 16…"
Maria gently began to stroke the bridge of Katarina's nose.
Katarina was unconscious before she reached 13.
"What sorcery is this?" Lady Hunt said, staring at the sight of a sleeping Katarina, who looked very eggplant-like after curling up on her side.
Maria shrugged. "It's an old trick my mother used to do to put me to sleep," she lied. She remembered the subjects in the research hall, and how she helped them fall asleep despite many of them being in pain, at least until they stopped having a nose to stroke…
"Dibs on sleeping next to Katarina!" Sophia and Mary chorused.
Maria sighed and picked up Katarina to place her on the large bed– which actually would fit them all if they lay along it lengthwise, since it was sized to accommodate even knights with powerful souls and therefore great height– as the two started to bicker on who got which side.
Perhaps she'd sleep in a blanket on the carpet.
As the other girls took turns giving their faces one last wash, Maria felt a presence behind her.
"Your ladyship," Anne Shelley said, face intent. "Could you teach me how to do that? Please."