Author's note: If you haven't seen the C-drama Till the End of the Moon at YouKu/Netflix, you'd better watch it. It will make you cry, laugh, cry again, and reflect a lot about what it really means to live and love. This is my therapy from that unforgettable and heart-wrenching drama, a collection of thoughts that came up at the episodes I loved, with the prompt being Tantai Jin's broken promise. Enjoy(?)

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Tantai Jin looked at the projection of Li Susu sleeping as the dragon chariot raced through the heavens. It was not a peaceful slumber for her, as he saw her face grimace at something in her sleep. He started to reach out to touch her face, to smoothen the lines of pain drawn by her nightmares, but midway through, he clenched his fist and dropped his hand to his side again.

I promised you I will not let your nightmares happen again, but now, I have no choice.

The first time her nightmares visited her, her shrill cry jolted Tantai Jin awake.

He jumped out from his cot, immediately assuming a defensive position facing the door, fists at the ready to fight off the shameless intruder that dared disturb his sleep. But the doors were shut, and there was not even a shadow moving inside the room. Relaxing his stance, he looked behind, to the Third Miss Ye Xiwu who he had been unwillingly married to.

Standing up and walking over to her bed, he saw that the Third Miss was still asleep, but her eyes were moving wildly under their lids. Her whole body was shaking, and her hands gripped the sheets tightly, so tight that her knuckles turned even whiter than they already were. A thin layer of sweat covered her face, which was contorted into various expressions of pain.

A slight sneer curled Tantai Jin's lips. What could possibly be torturing the high and mighty Third Miss in her dreams? he thought mockingly as he continued watching her squirm in her troubled sleep. Satisfaction bloomed inside him as he thought back on all hateful things she had done to him. Serves her right, he thought, but lest he be blamed again for leaving the Third Miss suffering like this, he reluctantly went closer and attempted to wake her up.

"Third Miss," he called out, lightly tapping Ye Xiwu's shoulders. It had no effect. "Third Miss," he repeated, a little louder, but there was still no response. He gripped her shoulders and slightly shook her awake. "Ye Xiwu!"

Ye Xiwu's eyes opened wide. Her wild eyes slowly focused on the thin narrow face before her.

To Tantai Jin's surprise, she flinched – flinched – at the sight of his face. In her eyes, he saw utter terror, making him let go of her and backing away in confusion. She meanwhile sat straight up, and clutched the blankets tightly around her.

"What are you doing?" Ye Xiwu asked, her voice slightly breaking in nervousness at Tantai Jin's sudden close proximity to her. He blinked, then stared as the haughty demeanor that he had been used to quickly replaced the terror on her face.

"Nothing," he said dismissively, his eyes turning cold once more. "You were disturbing me from my sleep with your noise."

"What noise?" Ye Xiwu asked defensively, loosening the blankets. Her eyes glanced down over to his cot, where his blanket and cot were obviously in disarray.

Tantai Jin shook his head and turned back to his cot to straighten it again. "If Third Miss would be so kind as to sleep quietly, I would be most obliged," he said without an ounce of sincerity.

"Sorry," he heard her say quite petulantly as he laid on the cot and pulled the blankets around himself. He turned his back on her and pretended to sleep, but all the while his eyes and ears were open. He heard her sigh deeply, and whisper to herself. After, she kept fidgeting on her bed for quite a while.

When he knew she was deeply asleep again, Tantai Jin turned around and looked towards the bed with an uncertain look on his face.

XXXXXXXXXX

At breakfast the following day, Grandmother Ye couldn't fail to notice Ye Xiwu's lethargy.

"Buttercup, Chuntao says that you haven't been sleeping well lately," Grandmother said kindly, patting Xiwu's hands. "Are you feeling all right?"

Ye Xiwu threw a sharp side glance at Chuntao, who lowered her eyes in fear. "I don't know what Chuntao is saying, Grandmother, I feel fine," she replied.

Up at the library, Tantai Jin snorted. He made the crow look over to where Ye Xiwu was, and even through the crow's eyes, he could clearly see the dark shadows under her eyes. Even Grandmother's failing eyesight would not be fooled by her favorite granddaughter's words.

"I'll have Chuntao brew calming tea for you to drink before you sleep," Grandmother said, gesturing to Chuntao, who nodded in obedience.

"I hear that the scent of apples help you sleep," General Ye, Ye Xiwu's father, chimed in. "Have a few of them beside your bed."

"Or maybe it's that hostage prince who's giving you nightmares," Ye Zeyu, her elder brother, joked. Tantai Jin frowned at the mention of his name. "Why don't you chuck him out of your room again?"

The crow looked over to Ye Xiwu. Tantai Jin watched a few emotions play across her face, but they passed too quickly for him to understand even one of them. She settled into the usual deference as she replied to her brother, "There's no need for that, Elder Brother. Tantai Jin had just recovered from a fever after kneeling for days on the lake, it would be too much to make him sleep outside again."

Tantai Jin gripped the brush he was holding tightly. I don't need anyone's pity, he thought as he looked at Ye Xiwu's face. Especially yours.

XXXXXXXXX

When her cries woke him up again, Tantai Jin didn't bother going gentle on her anymore.

"Ye Xiwu!" he called as he grabbed her shoulders and shook her awake. The look of horror in her eyes increased his annoyance and he pushed her away from him.

"All right, all right! I'm awake now!" Ye Xiwu complained. "You don't have to shake me hard!" She rubbed her sore arms to emphasize her point.

"If you're not going to keep your noise down, I might just sleep outside," Tantai Jin replied.

"Don't do that, you'll get sick again," Ye Xiwu bit back.

Tantai Jin scoffed. "Better be cold than be disturbed by your crying," he said. "Cry quietly for whoever's dying in your sleep, why don't you?"

Ye Xiwu was startled. Then her face contorted in anger, and she threw back the covers to stand up to him. "You are heartless and cruel, do you know that?" She put her hands together to push Tantai Jin back. He almost stumbled, and as he picked himself up, he felt the blanket thrown at him, and soon after, his pillow.

"Get out then!" Ye Xiwu shouted, stepping forward and pushing Tantai Jin back until he reached the doors. He hastily opened them and shivered at the onslaught of cold wind, but the same wind did nothing to cool Ye Xiwu's reddened face. "Get out!"

As soon as Tantai Jin stepped outside, the doors snapped shut, leaving him clutching his blanket and pillow in utter irritation.

Tantai Jin took to sleeping in the library after that.