A/N: This one's essentially an apology. Plus, I have another 2 in the bag, so fingers crossed there's no more delays quite as long. Hey, a girl can dream.
These chapters are in the long process of being beta'd, but right now they're all me, so if there's mistakes it's because I'm imperfect. Whodathunk.
Anywho, I hope you enjoy, and I can't promise any more quick updates, but you never know.
Footprints in the Sand
Chapter 15
As my body eventually cools, and my heart slows enough for rational thought to return to my brain, it suddenly occurs to me that Edward never asked me about birth control.
Sure, things got very heated very fast between us, but we're adults not kids, and Edward himself is a parent; it really should have come up at some point.
I know for my part why, but for him... Was he just assuming I was taking care of it?
I'm laying strewn across his still-damp chest listening to the rhythmic whooshing of his lungs. His skin is still so sensually warm and salty, and this cadence that's fallen over us is really not something I want to break with obligatory after-sex responsibility, but my curiosity is already piqued.
"Edward?" I say, gently prodding him.
"Hmm…?" he hums drowsily behind closed eyes as his arm tightens around my back.
"You never..." I abandon it with a sigh as the soft sound of snores vibrates quietly along his throat. "Never mind," I whisper more or less to myself.
I watch him sleep long after he falls deeper into it. At this beautiful man in my bed holding me against him as he dreams. That familiar knot is etched into his forehead even now, which is beyond all realms of adorable, and I'm beginning to suspect he's an incredibly introspective person even when he sleeps.
I wonder what he sees when he turns that sharp gaze toward himself. Does he see what I see? What his daughter sees?
The truth is I'm not sure what the hell I'm thinking let alone feeling right now, or even if I'm capable of lucid thought.
I'm still flying so high, and everything's a little too surreal.
Cocktails at Rosalie's house, getting drunk in her bathroom, sitting along the pier drinking cheap coffee as I sobered, and awkwardly sweet, mind-numbing sex with a man I not long ago detested.
How does such a thing even happen? To me, at least?
. . .
"Bella..." Edward's rustic voice breeches the veil of unconsciousness that still lingers over me. "Hey?"
I moan languidly, and turning over, I press myself further against the sultry warmth of him.
"Bella, your phone."
His voice breaks over me with more clarity, and with a discernible groan this time, I force my eyes open. "Huh?"
"Your phone's ringing," he explains as I stare up at him silhouetted in my bedroom against the backdrop of Seattle's moonlit sky.
For a single moment I have no idea what happened that resulted with him in my bed beside me.
"My phone?" I repeat blankly, shaking the fogginess from my head. "What time is it?"
"No idea. Mine's still in your kitchen."
That's when I become aware of the shrill sound of my ringtone from outside my bedroom door. I left it in my purse, I quickly realize, and with a frustrated huff, I pull myself out from under Edward, throw my robe hastily around my still naked body and make my way into the living area.
"Alice!" I burst, picking up her call before it goes to my message bank. "It's—jesus it's almost three a.m.!"
"I was worried about you! Why weren't you answering your phone?"
"I left it in the living room," I say with an exasperated sigh, turning to lean against the kitchen counter.
God in heaven, my legs are still shaking.
"You get home alright?"
"Obviously," I say dryly, dropping my forehead into my splayed palm. "Al, can this wait until morning?"
"Did Edward stay over?" she pesters, completely disregarding me.
"I'm not talking about Edward right n—"
"Hey, Alice," Edward suddenly breaks in with a hopelessly croaky voice before slipping his arm around my shoulders and almost scaring the life out of me in the process.
Sucking in my breath sharply, I almost drop my phone. How the hell does this man manage to catch me so unprepared all the time – even half-clothed in my own apartment?
"Hello, Edward..." I hear Alice's drawling voice through the receiver before I sever the connection and turn to him. "What are you doing?" I utter out barely coherently as he draws me flush against his semi naked body, plants his lips to my neck and slips a very warm palm beneath the material of my robe.
I somehow manage to glance down between our intertwining bodies and spot a pair of black Calvin Kleins that he's all but breaking free of.
"I'm back on the horse," he speaks in a mumble against my throat, chuckling to himself breathily.
"Oh my god..." I practically whimper in response.
I'm probably going to die, but if I do it'll be with a smile on my face.
. . .
Round two takes place against the wall. How, I have no idea, and a definite first for me, but we don't make it back to my bed. I have my suspicions Edward didn't want to risk missing a fourth time, and it definitely works smoothly with me on top. This is despite the fact I'm positive he must have burst a blood vessel in his brain from the act of holding me upright.
He fits me like a glove without a single atom of breathing room, and Jesus, I'm going to have to soak in Epsom salts for most of the day tomorrow.
His legs give out exactly two seconds after he comes, and we both end up in a heap on the floor, a wet, gasping, and twitching amalgamation of trembling flesh.
"You're... exhausting... me," I somehow manage to articulate against his very sweaty chest.
His heart's hammering heavily and along every pore in his skin until I'm not sure whether it's his or mine, but the smell of him... It's awakening something primal within me, but neither of us will survive a third round tonight.
He doesn't reply. I'm not sure he can. His lungs are continuing to heave, swallowing all words before they can form in his throat. What I do manage to make out, though, is "fuck".
Fuck indeed...
I somehow accomplish dragging him to the shower, taking most of his weight against me as we both stagger into the bathroom drunk on endorphins and each other. After, I'm not sure about Edward, but I sleep like a baby, because apparently, sex twice in one night with him tires me out and calms my racing thoughts ten times more effectively than running ever could.
. . .
When I wake again it's to daylight with Edward fully clothed and leaning over me.
"Bella, I have to go," he says, expelling an inevitable-sounding breath.
Noting the tension behind his voice, I immediately sit up, clutching the blankets to my chest. "What happened?"
"Addie threw up. It was because of the medicine, but she's worked herself into a state." He sighs wearily, sits on the edge of my bed and drags a set of tense fingers through his hair.
"Did they give her the right one?" I ask, shuffling myself beside him and struggling to keep my nakedness covered.
"I assume so. They probably gave her too much at once," he mutters, getting to his feet again.
"I'll walk you out," I offer even as he pulls me up beside him. Snatching the robe from the foot of my bed, I clumsily wrap it around my shoulders before he can contemplate crippling me with a quickie.
After grabbing his phone, he slides it in his pocket, opens the front door and turns to me.
"I had a great time last night," he says warmly after a good ten seconds of gazing at my lips, before appearing to second-guess himself and closing the robe tighter across my chest.
"Me too," I reciprocate. "Though, I really am sorry for being such a terrible dinner date." And I really don't want to see Rosalie, or those three bitches, ever again.
His eyes fix to mine and his smile inches wider. "You weren't a terrible date, but let's do it again—soon."
"Sure," I agree, really hoping by soon what he really means is more sex because I have been seriously missing out.
"When are you working next?" he puts to me, tucking several strands of hair off my face and behind the curve of my ear.
"Tuesday."
"Monday, let's grab—"
"Coffee?" I preempt him.
"Lunch," he corrects me as that smirk of his twitches on the edge of his lips. Then leaning down, he adds huskily against my ear, "but I'm coming here."
Oh god...
"Okay." My voice practically fails, as those acute eyes of his immediately burn with amusement. "I-I'll see you then," I stammer, reaching up to straighten his tie.
"Goodbye, Miss Swan," he all but murmurs, and taking the lapels of my robe in both fists, he tugs me to him and plants his lips tenderly against mine.
I'm seeing stars, literally and figuratively, and after closing the door behind him, I practically float back to my bedroom and fall face first against my sheets—that have the smell of sex all over them.
I sleep for another couple of hours with the scent of him all around me while the events of the night before are recapped in my dreams.
At noon Alice calls; wanting details, of course, as if we're still at Forks High.
"You think it's weird that he didn't ask me about birth control?" I put to her because it's still bothering me.
"He didn't?" Alice is as equally surprised. "Wait, Bella, you didn't use—"
"I'm still on the pill," I head her off.
"Good. I was beginning to think he was making you lose your head. You're the most responsible person I know," she adds, but she's been telling me that since we were thirteen.
It's not exactly a label any teenage girl wants applied to her, but I'm far too much like my father to be anything less.
"You weren't still drunk, were you?" she asks cynically.
"Of course I wasn't!" I declare affronted. "You know me—it takes two drinks to get me drunk and one coffee to sober me up."
"I know, but I recall a certain person insisting sex after a week was thinking too far ahead..." her voice trails with open emphasis.
"Well..." I mumble, blushing to myself because she has me there. "I don't know, after we left, we... he... was so... sweet."
"Uh-huh..." she deliberately mocks me. "Sooo...? Who initiated the sex?"
"He did. Though, I wasn't exactly opposed to it," I answer candidly.
She scoffs. "No one could fault you on that, Bells. The way he looks at you, though..." Her voice turns suddenly wistful.
"Al," I complain good-naturedly. "You'll have me married off in a month. I just want to know why he didn't ask me if he needed to strap on a condom."
"Then ask him," she over exaggerates it.
"I will," I say simply, wondering whether Edward and I are beyond texting each other. I have to admit, it's easier to get out what I need to say. There's no chance I'll get caught in that steely gaze of his and say something stupid.
"Anyway," Alice says dismissively, no doubt about to steer the conversation back to her upcoming nuptials, "Jay and I are cake tasting today. I'll stop by later on with some samples, okay?"
"Sounds good," I say with a small knowing smirk, glad for the most part she didn't decide to ask me anything more explicit. On the other hand, I'll be glad when her wedding is over, but god knows what she'll want to talk about then.
. . .
I forgot how much sex over stimulates me and makes my mind race, and with Edward, everything is so much more heightened. I have no choice but to go for a run, despite how thoroughly spent I'm already feeling.
I don't make three miles before I'm forced to turn back toward home. My legs feel like jelly, I didn't get near enough sleep, and my tights are beginning to chafe.
That bath I lightly entertained the night before is quickly becoming a necessity.
I soak for an hour, diffusing lavender oil to calm my simmering thoughts, while listening to the Pitch Perfect soundtrack via Alexa.
Edward messages me halfway through.
Text date tonight?
I thought you didn't want to text anymore? I reply with an insanely huge smile on my face.
I don't want to only text, he clarifies, his response coming within moments.
Alright then. How's Addie?
She's ok. I had to pick up more bubblegum flavored cough medicine on the way home before she'd calm down, though.
Oh dear. You having a Disney day?
I can't. I have work to catch up on. She's usually at her grandparent's until four. What are you doing? He asks before I can finish typing my reply to him.
Erasing it, I start over. Taking a bath.
I caused that much damage, did I?
Very forward, Edward. I roll my eyes, envisioning that trademark grin of his. It's almost as sexy as his frown.
I've figured three more things out about you, he adds just when I thought he'd stopped.
You have? Do tell.
You are very comfortable naked, and you have a great laugh and amazing endurance.
I could say the same about you, and for a guy who spent the last five years on hiatus, you lasted a lot longer than I expected.
Very forward, Bella, he teases me, adding another before I can reply. I cheated.
You did? I don't understand, I text after a good thirty seconds of contemplating his meaning.
Think about it.
I am. I still have no idea.
You really can't guess?
I really can't. Is this a guy thing that most females aren't privy to?
Maybe.
You're doing that on purpose.
Bella. He still only texts my name, and I'm beginning to think it's the most endearing thing I've ever encountered. What would I have needed to take care of in order to last as long as I did? His text is cryptic, but his meaning is suddenly obvious.
Ahhh. Planned ahead, did you?
Yeah. I was pretty sure we were on the same page. So.
Yes we were. So?
Are you mad?
You got mad from that?
Just making sure. Ok, chat soon. About 8.
Okay. Goodbye, stupidly handsome.
Bella.
. . .
"He misses her but he's glad she's dead?" Alice summarizes, quirking a dubious brow.
She arrived just after five carrying a box full of cake samples—which she then all but shoved down my throat before we delved back onto the subject of Edward.
I kept it deliberately away from anything related to my newfound sex life, and unfortunately, we wound up at Edward's wife.
"I know," I agree with a sigh. "He sounded just as confused by it, too."
"Was she a sociopath?" she speculates in her typical frankness.
"I have no idea," I reply, scoffing to myself humorlessly. "He doesn't like to talk about her."
"Hmm..." she contemplates, massaging her chin. "Maybe I should ask Jay if he knows anything more."
"No," I insist, immediately appalled by the idea. "God, No. Al, I have no idea how he'd react to that. He'll tell me when he's comfortable with it."
"But he thought his wife would be a danger to Addie, so she must have had some kind of mental disorder," she points out, continuing to mull it over.
"He told me there's only one flaw he looks for in women—narcissism," I add, wondering if that's what his wife had.
In all probability, it would appear so.
"Well, that's the last thing you are," Alice assures me, wrapping an arm around my shoulder. "You really think cookies and cream? For a wedding?"
"Traditionally, it's fruitcake, and who really likes those?" I say, glad for the breather.
"My nanna."
"Let me rephrase that," I say breaking into a grin. It's not only for Alice's benefit, but over what Edward insisted on rephrasing the night before. "Who over the age of thirty-five likes fruitcake?"
"True, I guess, and Jay liked the cookies and cream cake the most too. I'm more down for boring old sponge—god we're twenty-eight this year, Bells! Twenty-eight!" she over emphasizes it as though we were turning fifty.
God knows how Alice went from wedding cake to how old we're getting in the same sentence. Often times it's better not to ask.
"Edward's thirty-three," I say with a small smile.
"He'll probably peak at sixty like his father," she muses, pinching off the icing from a slice of cake and sucking it from her fingers.
"And how would you know that?" I say, arching a teasing brow.
"I meant looks, Bella. Jesus, your mind really is in the gutter today." She flashes me a cynical smirk. "Oh, speaking of Edward's wife," she suddenly pipes up in obvious recollection. "Rose said she was two years older than Edward."
"Huh. Really?" I consider it for a moment, unsure if it has any relevance. I doubt it, though. Age is pretty relative. "How long did you stay after Edward and I left last night?"
"About an hour. I was getting drunk enough that I slipped up and called what's-her-face urine to her face," she admits, snickering to herself. "You know Tanya was Edward's wife's best friend?"
"Yeah, I do, and she fucked her pregnant best friend's husband—nice," I mutter, feeling my expression cloud.
"Wait—you heard that?" Alice bursts, her eyes widening in surprise.
"I did. You did too, huh?"
"Yeah. I was coming to see how you were feeling and I walked in on them. Edward was gripping her arm looking like he was about to murder her." Her voice lowers as she relays it, her thoughts no doubt probing as ahead of her as mine are.
"I know..." I murmur reining mine back.
Edward filed for divorce with his pregnant wife, and then had sex with her best friend. It's pretty much all I'm aware of right now. Of course there's more to it—a lot more—but I'm honestly not sure if I want to know what it is.
"Bells...?" Alice speaks up a little too apprehensively that it immediately draws my attention.
"Yeah?" I ask with more than an obvious amount of uncertainty behind my voice.
She almost looks culpable.
"Rose... when she's drunk, she spills, and after you guys left, Emmett got really angry at her for inviting urine and Tanya—and the other one—anyway..."
"Al, do I really want to hear this?" I ask, practically shying away from her.
"Do you?" she puts to me.
"I... shit... I don't know. I mean—okay, fuck it," I eventually concede, but my mind's far from made up.
I really don't want to hear anything that will destroy this bubble of bliss I've found myself in. Just yet, anyway.
"Rose told me that Kate—Edward's wife"—I nod, I'm aware of her name—"fucked around on him several times and then told him Addie wasn't his. Edward had to get a paternity test after she was born." Her voice falls to a hushed whisper this time even as she closely canvasses my face.
For several too long moments I'm without words. It only creates more questions than it does answers, and it really doesn't seem plausible knowing who Edward is that he'd tolerate such a person.
Or maybe I don't know him nearly as much as I presume, but what the hell did this woman do to him?
"That's why he filed for divorce," I eventually conclude, more to myself than in reply to Alice.
"I wonder whether he would have gone through with it when he found out Addie was his," Alice wonders out loud herself as her eyes lock with mine.
I can only shake my head. I want to know more about Edward—I want to know everything about him—but not like this. I feel like I'm violating his trust having this conversation; on top of which, I'm beginning to feel fiercely protective of him.
"Maybe we shouldn't say anymore," I mumble, and I'm already way too distracted by it.
"I'm sorry, Bells, did I say too much?" Alice asks, her royal blue eyes flooding with regret.
"It's fine, Al," I reassure her. "It's just... he's so careful with what he reveals about himself, and I can't imagine he'd take me knowing all this well."
"Hmm..." She nods slowly to herself. "One last thing, though?" she alludes, both eyebrows raised high.
"What...?" I cave with a resigned sigh, but I feel like an absolute monster.
"Rose told me that not only are you the first woman to turn his head in five years, but you're the first one he's asked out—and now you're the first one he's had sex with since his wife."
"Since Tanya," I correct her without really thinking, and just as my mouth falls open.
"What? Tanya was the last person...?" her voice trails in open shock.
"Al... you won't breathe a word of this, will you?" I plead with her, holding desperately onto the sisterhood we've both shared since nursery school. "Especially to Rose."
"Of course I won't." She snorts and swats my shoulder as if it goes without saying. "But Jesus, Bella, he sure does have some skeletons in his closet."
. . .
There's absolutely no chance I'll be sleeping tonight. My thoughts are so overrun I contemplate strapping on my sneakers and heading out in the dark. I hate knowing what I do about Edward. At the same time, I have this overpowering desire to protect him from it all.
Alice leaves at six, and considering I consumed the equivalent of half a wedding cake, I forgo dinner and opt for housework as a distraction instead.
I fail miserably, and I absolutely detest it. I want to cry for him; cry for the pain he's endured, and the pain he's still trying to shield himself and Addie from.
There's only one thing I can do, I realize, and that's to put it from my mind, and never let on to Edward what I know. Even if he chooses not to tell me anything more about his wife.
I'm halfway through scrubbing my bath tub, when my phone vibrates from the pocket of my track pants.
Stupidly Handsome lights up on the screen, the ringtone the distinct beeping of a video call.
I hastily exit my bathroom before answering, expecting to see Edward; instead, it's sweet little Addie's face, her expression animated.
"Hi, Bella!" she greets me brightly.
"Hey, Addie!" I reply, my smile broad before I can prevent it. "Have you stolen your daddy's phone?"
She giggles, shaking her head regardless as she wipes the back of her hand across her face to catch her running nose. "I thought it was my phone." Her voice is still clogged from sickness, but she's still her ridiculously adorable self.
"You have a phone?" I say surprised, because a five year old with a cell phone? I would not have pegged Edward as that kind of parent.
She nods. "Yes, but Daddy only lets me have it when I stay at my other grandma's house," she explains behind a congested-sounding cough.
"Ahhh. How are you feeling, sweetie?" I ask, slumping down on my sofa.
"I'm okay, but I still have a yucky froat." She half shrugs and tilts her head to the side. "I saw your name in Daddy's phone."
"You did? You can read my name?"
She nods again vigorously. "Grandma taught me how to read. I can say all the alphabet. B-E-L-L-A." She spells out each letter in my name individually.
"Well, aren't you clever?" I note impressed, as she giggles to herself again.
"Guess what, Bella?"
"What?" I play along.
"I frew up."
"Oh no. That's not good."
"Grandma gave me yucky medicine, and Daddy got angry. He said I'm not allowed to go back to my other grandma's house if she doesn't listen to him."
"Oh...did he...?" My voice trails off awkwardly, and I doubt Edward would be comfortable with me hearing this. Among other things.
She nods a third time, swiping at her nose again. "Bella?"
"Hmm?"
"Are you my daddy's friend?"
"Of course I'm your daddy's friend," I answer, and judging by the way her face lights up, she's pleased with it.
"Bella?" she echoes, her voice subtly lowering this time as she leans closer to the screen.
"Addie?" I tease her.
"Do you and my daddy kiss?" she whispers before clamping a hand to her mouth to smother what I'm almost certain is a snicker.
"Addie!" I gasp jokingly. "We're just friends. I have to tell him which medicine to buy you, remember?" I completely lie to her, but I have to remind myself, her father doesn't want her knowing about us just yet.
"Really?" she says way too suspiciously for such a little girl that I'm positive she's seeing through me.
"Really really."
"My other grandma gave me yucky stuff." She wrinkles her nose, the business of me kissing her father seemingly behind her. "But Daddy brought some more nice medicine."
"Addie—who are you talking to?" Edward's voice suddenly interjects.
"I'm talking to Bella," she answers simply, turning to look up at him just as she's whisked away with a high-pitched squeal and Edward's face angles into the screen.
"Bella?" he asks skeptically, breaking into an immediate smile when he realizes it is, in fact, me.
"Hey," I say filling with amusement.
"She called you, right?" he guesses, not sounding terribly surprised by it.
"She did," I reply as Addie jumps on her father's back, her long blonde hair spilling over him.
"Bella, Daddy wants to marry you!" she declares, bursting into a fit of laughter as Edward turns, throws her over his shoulder and carries her from the room upside down.
From what I could ascertain, Addie called me from his bedroom, on his bed. The walls are painted in what almost appears to be a greyish blue, the furniture dark wood; until the ceiling is the only thing on the screen, that is.
Edward returns a moment later, picks up his phone and drags his hand back through his hair. I'm beginning to think it's his most repetitive mannerism. "In my defense, I agreed to marry you when I thought you were imaginary."
I chuckle lightly, tucking my legs beneath me. "I thought you only agreed to think about it."
"She knows 'I'll think about it' really means yes," he says ruefully.
"She told me that," I fill him in, realizing I'm smiling to myself like a loon so much my cheeks are beginning to ache.
"Yeah, she's got me all figured out. What the hell are you wearing?" he suddenly enquires, his perfectly manicured brow arching.
Moving my phone back, I reveal my old SU sweatshirt. "It's Sunday," I say, as if that were explanation enough.
"Fair enough," he replies, a smirk edging on his lips.
"Daddy?" Addie's voice cuts in from behind him.
Edward glances over his shoulder, his sigh audible. "You're killing me here, kid."
In response, Addie breaks into further giggling, and turning back to the screen Edward drops his head and groans. "Let's do this later, Bella."
"Okay, have fun," I say, struggling to hold off my laughter.
"And..." he adds his voice lowering, his expression steadily turning shrewd, "if we're doing this over video, we're going to be doing a lot more than talking."
A/N: Thanks for reading.