Mary Hunt didn't like Rafael Walt much. She didn't actively dislike him– she used to after what he did to Lady Katarina!– but after hearing what had happened to his mother, she'd grudgingly decided to forgive him. The pain of losing one's mother and mother-based violent vengeance was a desire she understood all too well. She still had a long list of servants to have dismissed from the Hunt household with no references for being mean to her mother. She didn't understand his taste in women, but at least it was one more person in the world she didn't have to keep away from Lady Katarina.

Sophia Ascart, for her part, had always been very encouraging of Mari and Rafael's relationship (one less person between Lady Katarina and her brother!). even the fact he'd put her in a coma hadn't really made her too angry at him. Indeed, those days when she'd skipped classes and Student Council work to wait dutifully at her Lady Katarina's side had a rosy, nostalgic hue to them, and her dreams of that time felt… well, mildly frustrated but full of bittersweet satisfaction. Like she'd been having a conversation with Lady Katarina in her dreams, slamming her head against her titanite-like denseness to get her to understand how wonderful her brother and inseki were…

Sophia frowned. Something was off about that thought but she couldn't tell what…

So it was something of a surprise to find them sitting across from the young man in one of Maria's many sitting rooms over a pot of tea that weekend. Normally, they'd have better things to do, but this wasn't a free day for Lady Katarina, and everyone was catching on that Maria was taking her training very seriously. Even The ADVERSARY And Enemy Of The Alliance was getting the hint to stop insisting. He still probably thought this was just a passing fancy of Lady Katarina's part, but at least he'd stopped trying to go through Maria to do it. The most they'd see of her was when she had to do farming chores with the children that afternoon, and maybe dinner if Maria was willing to have them over. Sophia usually spent weekends sending letters setting up appointments for commissions and receiving replies, or just reading the latest things, and Mary was teaching her cute little student how to Mary Hunt for when she would be attending the Academy in a few years.

Really, it was the tea. They both had to admit, Rafael still made the best tea. When he and Maria started entertaining more, their tea and cookies combo would be immortal!

"I… need advice," he began, never a good start.

"Umbasa, are you breaking up with Maria?" Sophia exclaimed. "Please say it isn't so! After all this work to get you two together…!"

"You didn't do dungpies," Rafael said flatly.

"I cheered you both on from the sidelines!" Sophia said.

Rafael rolled his eyes. "Okay, fine you helped. But no, we're not breaking up. I just need advice on noble lady behavior. Obviously I can't ask Katarina."

They both nodded. Katarina was a terribl…y unique example of noble lady behavior!

"After all, I can't talk to her outside of dinner tests, and she's apparently not up to dinner conversation beyond the weather," Rafael said. "I'm always afraid if I interrupt she'll suddenly forget what she's supposed to be doing. That would upset Shana, which would upset Maria, even if she doesn't show it since it's supposed to be her test."

"Sure… that's why you can't ask her," Sophia said hastily as Mary nodded. "Totally why. Though you still haven't mentioned what you'd ask."

His eyes flicked over their shoulders for some reason. Then he leaned forward conspiratorially in a low voice. "Do ladies… not notice if maids are in the room?"

Sophia and Mary blinked in surprise. "What sort of a question is that?" Mary said.

"The kind I'd never thought I'd have to ask, but has turned out that I actually needed to," Rafael said.

"Of course we notice if maids are in the room," Sophia said, gesturing. "Laura's standing behind me, Martha is with Mary, and your maid Lasciel is behind you. There were also those girls who brought in the stuff for you to prepare tea."

"Okay, so you notice them…" Rafael nodded. "Um… but do you care if they're there?"

"Rafael, just tell us what weird thing Maria did so we know what conversation we're having," Mary said bluntly.

Rafael didn't answer right away. Instead, he turned behind him and said, "Lasciel, could you, uh… find out what we're having for lunch? Take your time." The maid bowed and stepped out of the room. Rafael turned to them with a pleading look.

The two ladies exchanged glances and rolled their eyes. "Martha, can you go see if Shana is done with her chores yet so we can start her lessons?" Mary said.

"Laura, be a dear and go get me more cookies from the kitchen?" Sophia said. "And get something for yourself too!"

The two maids bowed, looking amused, but they followed their junior out of the room, closing the door shut behind them.

"There, we're alone," Mary said. "This better be really scandalous and juicy."

"You know how Maria likes to sleep, right?" Rafael said. "You had that sleepover."

"Yes. How do you know how Maria likes to sleep?" Sophia said, grinning. "Getting a little ahead of ourselves, are we? Are we doing naughty things, Mr. Walt?"

"She's my fiancée," Rafael said. "Apparently she doesn't believe in waiting for the wedding, only until I say yes."

"And you haven't?" Sophia said, her grin getting wider. "You haven't thought of–"

"ANYWAY!" Rafael interrupted, making Sophia pout and causing Mary to smirk, "so, because Maria's a considerate fiancée who doesn't force the issue, she's been wearing that radish Katarina gave her, even though she thinks it's too warm."

"The exhibitionist must really love you, to put on sleeping-actual-clothes," Mary said.

"But it got really hot last night–"

"Yeah, it did…" Sophia leered.

"The temperature got really hot last night," Rafael said with forced patience.

"Yeah, it did…"

"You know, I don't laugh at you when you have Katarina issues," Rafael said.

"Sorry, sorry," Sophia said. "All right, no teasing. What happened?"

"So, it got hot," he gave Sophia a warning look, and she smiled innocently, "so I told Maria it was fine if she wanted to take off the radish–"

Sophia opened her mouth. Rafael glared. Sophia shut her mouth with an impish smile.

"So you could put in the radish?" Mary said brightly.

Rafael sighed. "No. Nothing happened."

"What, seriously?" Sophia said. "I've seen how she looks at you, I'm surprised you have anything to wear, because she clearly wants to tear it all off."

"Yes, well, nothing happened regardless," Rafael.

Sophia coughed. "Rafael, are you asking us for advice on how to tell Maria you're into Nicol?"

"I'm not Keith," Rafael said, inciting snickers. "No, nothing happened because… well, Maria's maid was there."

"Sadako?" Sophia said, tilting her head. "The one with the hair, who looks like a corpse that just crawled out of a well to devour the Dark Souls of the living?"

"She does not look like she just crawled out of a well. What would that even look like?" Rafael said. "Though, yeah, when she's looking at me through her hair, she does look like she wants to eat my soul. To be fair, most of the women in the manor do."

Mary blinked in surprise as Sophia nodded in understanding. "Wait, what?" Mary said.

"Apparently, some women consider being rescued from a life of slavery and being given a peaceful life in a huge house where they never have to worry about food, clothes or their wellbeing to be a very attractive attribute," Sophia said. "It's probably not all of them, but definitely some. And some of the village women are probably falling for her too, she has that 'dashing knight' appeal after all, not to mention the fact she'd crazy generous."

"Huh," Mary said, turning to Rafael. There was actual pity and sympathy in her eyes. "Wow, the woman you love is popular and beloved by other people. How terrible for you."

Rafael shrugged. "Maria saved them from a terrible fate. To be honest, I understand. But no, that's not the problem, I've resigned myself to that."

"Yes, you said Maria's maid was there?" Sophia said. "What, did she refuse to leave?"

"Sssooort of…" Rafael hedged. "More like Maria seemed to have no problem with her being in the room."

The two ladies blinked. "Come again?" Mary said.

"Maria seemed to assume that we'd… with the maid in the room," Rafael said.

"You'd link the flame? Take the throne of want? Be her Lord of Cinder? Bind yourself to the Nexus? Vordt her Dancer?" Sophia said with a wide grin. "Stick your coiled sword in her bonfire? Be the divine spear of her church? Flexile your Sentry together? Have your dragon set fire to her bridge? Jump into her Old Chaos? Betray her black-clad goddess? Slay her Gaping Dragon? Use your pus of humanity on her praying Pontif Beast? Fill her catacombs with–"

"Aaaand that's enough out of you," Mary said, clamping a hand over the scaleless girl's grinning mouth.

"Thank you very much for that," Rafael said, face red.

"Hmm…" Mary said, who for her own part looked amused. "So… she wanted the maid to watch?"

"More like she didn't care the maid was there? Like she was supposed to be, like the bed or the sheets," Rafael said. "Is that normal? Do noble women just not think their maid is anyone to be modest about? I mean, they help you with dressing and bathing, right?"

"What do you take us for?" Mary said. "There's a difference between a little help with washing your back and letting them watch as… as… Besides, it's Maria remember? Despite how she acts, she was a commoner. I'd wonder more if it was just some weird commoner kink because they all have to live in small houses, so they just go at it even if there are other people watching."

"As a commoner, I want to correct you…" Rafael said. "You realize commoners don't live in one-room huts and sleep ten to a mat on the ground, right? You can see Alice's house from here, and it's definitely a commoner house. With separate rooms for the children and parents." Granted, he and his mother slept in the same room before… Before. But that wasn't anything to support Mary's statement, it was just a coincidence!

"I'm just saying, that girl was not raised a noble," Mary said, finally letting Sophia go. "No matter how much she acts like it."

"Maybe she was a noble in a past life?" Sophia suggested. "You know, like how I'm the reincarnation of Seath the Scaleless?"

The two looked at her, aghast at the off-color joke. "Are… you allowed to say that?" Mary said, scandalized.

Sophia shrugged, then grinned. There were only the dimmest shadows of long-overcome pain in it. "It's not insulting if I make the 'reborn again paledrake' comments."

"Please let's not go there, I can already feel Uncle Dan making threatening smiles at me," Mary said, shuddering.

"Ugh…" Rafael groaned. "So, I have no idea how to proceed."

"Talk about it like sensible people?" Sophia suggested. "'Hey Maria, I don't want to send my greatwood plunging into your pit of hollows and help you make your mound while your maid is in the room watching us'?"

"You realize I have to say this to said maid's face since she seldom leaves Maria's side, right?" Rafael said. "That will be a fun conversation."

"Maybe you're overthinking this?" Mary said. "Maybe she wants her maid to watch and join in? I mean, I've heard that's a thing men like… " She trailed off into dark mutters.

"That sounds about as likely as you joining in if Katarina happened to be–" Rafael said.

"STOP RIGHT THERE!" Mary shrieked, hands over her ears. "I don't want to hear whatever sordid example you're about to say!"

"I wouldn't mind… if it was the right person…" Sophia muttered, confirming some long-standing suspicions in Rafael's mind. "Er, did I say that out loud?"

"Say what?" Rafael said blandly.

"Huh?" Mary said, taking her hands off her ears.

Sophia's eyes darted back and forth, then decided to take things at face value. "Well, it's probably not a good idea implying you want to have sex with a woman who used to be a slave for exactly that purpose," Sophia said. "Look, just go ahead and kick her out! I mean, you're Maria's fiancé, if anyone has a right to… um, hang on, I have another metaphor somewhere… "

"No, Sophia!" Mary cried. "That's how The ADVERSARY And Enemy Of The Alliance thinks! Just because someone's a fiancé doesn't mean they win!"

"Gee, thanks," Rafael said dryly. "Do you actually seriously call him that?"

"It is what he is," Sophia said soberly. "You're right Mary, I forgot. I can't let him into my head! That's what he wants! Sorry Rafael, I can't in good conscience encourage any fiancé-centric arguments."

"Then what do I do?" Rafael groaned.

"Bide your time until you can make off with Maria by yourself and start a new life in another country?" Mary suggested.

"That sounds like your plan," Rafael said. "It's a terrible plan, by the way. Might have worked before the Academy, but now Katarina has friends who aren't trying to get into her skirts. Plus Maria would hunt you down and do horribly violent things to you on behalf of Katarina's mother."

"Oh, what do you know?" Mary huffed. "You've already managed to win. Maria picked you."

Rafael opened his mouth to reply then paused. He tilted his head. Finally, he said slowly, "It's not about winning."

"Huh?" Mary said.

"It's not about winning, and it's not about me," Rafael said, still thoughtful. "It's about Maria."

He titled his head and seemed to stare at Mary and Sophia, as if examining them minutely, which they found slightly disturbing. Then he nodded. "Thank you. You've given me a lot to think about."

"Wait, what we said helped?" Sophia said, surprised.

"Oh no, some of your ideas were really terrible," Rafael said. "But you helped anyway."

"How?" Mary said, confused.

"I don't want to become someone else's adversary and enemy," Rafael said. "So I have to nip that in the bud."

"I think Maria is going to notice if you kill her maid," Mary said.

"Really terrible ideas," Rafael repeated. "But thanks anyway, I now know what to do."

"Are you going to tell us what that is?" Sophia said.

"Hmm… not yet," Rafael said. "I'm pretty sure it wouldn't work in your situation. You're all too set in your ways."

But hopefully, not them…

The key was the timing. Rafael had to wait until Maria was busy inspecting the Nightflower Manufactory and hopefully promoting someone to manage more of it on her behalf. That was when he made his move.

Sadako was gathering Maria's laundry, including her sweaty radish, when Rafael walked into Maria's bedroom. He wouldn't have notice her tensing if he hadn't been watching for it, but he definitely noticed her hand reaching for the knife tucking into her belt before it fell away.

"Mister Rafael," Sadako said, straightening and bowing to him much more shallowly than she usually bowed for Maria. "Lady Maria-dono not here."

"I know," Rafael said, closing the door behind him.

He saw her eyes widen fractionally, saw them flick towards the door, her hand creep to rest just above the hidden knife.

Rafael stepped away from the door and made sure she had a clear path to it, walking towards the bathroom door. He saw her relax, just a little. "Sadako, we need to talk…"

A/N: So, my Pat-reon is up now at P.A.T.R.E.O.N.C.O.M -/-SCM2814. If you want to support this fic, that would be great, but no pressure. But if you do, you'll also get advanced access to my new original fiction series about a wizard on the frontier, her dungeon, and the idiots around her...