"Big brother, will you be coming back soon?"
Tantai Jin looked down at the little boy who tugged at his sleeve, then at Nian Baiyu, whose expression seemed to ask the same question as the boy. He gave a small smile at the boy, and touched his head in a comforting way.
Tantai Jin looked at Nian Baiyu. "Thank you," he said sincerely. Nian Baiyu's eyes looked close to tears, and he lowered his head to make the final salute to the emperor he had served loyally and faithfully.
"Your Majesty!" Nian Baiyu's cries roused Tantai Jin. His sigh of relief was audible through the coughing fit Tantai Jin found himself in upon waking up.
"N…Nian Baiyu?" Tantai Jin muttered as his eyes slowly focused on the man who shook him awake.
"Yes Your Majesty," Nian Baiyu replied.
Understanding slowly dawned on Tantai Jin, and the feelings of gratefulness burned into anger. He clutched Nian Baiyu's collar tightly. "What did you do?" he growled. He looked up behind him. They were a long way beyond the palace gates, but the smoke and the fire from the palace glowed against the dark night sky.
Tantai Jin roughly pushed Nian Baiyu away, and stumbled towards the palace. "Ye Xiwu…" he whispered.
Nian Baiyu held him back. "No, Your Majesty," he said, tightly gripping Tantai Jin around the waist.
Tantai Jin struggled with Nian Baiyu's ironclad grip. "Let go," he said menacingly.
"No, Your Majesty," Nian Baiyu repeated.
"Let go!"
"No!"
Tantai Jin twisted furiously against Nian Baiyu's hold on him. "Let go!" he shouted furiously. "I have to get back to her… we were supposed to go home together… I can't leave her alone… Let go!"
"Your Majesty, Lady Ye is gone!" Nian Baiyu cried out, his words piercing through Tantai Jin. "She's gone… but that doesn't mean you have to go as well!"
"You know nothing, Nian Baiyu," Tantai Jin replied coldly. "I can't live in a world where Ye Xiwu does not exist." His sudden tears scalded his face. "I only loved this world for her sake, and now that she's gone…" He choked at the last word and couldn't continue.
Feeling him weaken, Nian Baiyu loosened his hold on Tantai Jin. "Your Majesty, now that you've left everything to Ye Qingyu, you are now free to find her again," he said. Tantai Jin looked up to him in disbelieving hope. "The Yiyue Tribe has always been the gatekeepers to the entrance of the Nether River, where the souls of the dead reside. Come back with me and let the tribe help you."
Tantai Jin acknowledged the salute with a sad smile, and walked towards the entrance of the Nether River.
Nian Baiyu's eyes blurred with tears at the sight of his emperor disappearing into the mystical entrance of the Nether River.
Xxxxxxxxxxx
"Here he is, back again, calling for the same person over and over again."
"Isn't he getting tired of it?"
"It's been hundreds of years already, he should be getting tired."
A kindly voice joined the spirits hovering over the unconscious body on the banks of the Nether River. "Let him be. A wounded heart could never get tired of seeking the relief it wants."
Tantai Jin slowly opened his eyes. The glimmering spirits quickly dispersed, and left him to make his way back to full consciousness.
The dark skies greeted his waking eyes. In the netherworld, there was no difference between day and night, waking and sleeping, living and not living. He dragged an arm over his eyes.
Yes, shouldn't he be getting tired of this? Every day, he had been searching for her. Every day, he endures the sharp pain of the Ruo water as he goes into the Nether River to search for any trace of her. Every day, he returns to the banks of the Nether River, bleeding, bruised, and scalded in many places, empty-handed.
Every day, the divine essence she left him heals each of his wounds, and makes him whole again.
It had gone on for who knows how long. Maybe just five minutes, maybe centuries.
"You will not be able to reclaim your love, and will be trapped in the underworld."
That quack diviner Pang Yizhi did not mince words when he cursed him into this empty existence.
Tantai Jin raised himself sluggishly and sat up. He winced at a few of the sores on his body which hadn't healed yet. Even the divine essence is giving up on me, he thought passively as he stared at his open wounds. In a way, he felt relieved that the thing that persistently keeps him alive is finally running out, that he could finally throw himself into the Nether River and dissolve into a million pieces. At the same time, he felt miserable that the only thing that she had given him was running out, disappearing and abandoning him like she did.
Tantai Jin gazed at the dark waters of the Nether River. The million shimmering wisps flitting across the waves, lighting up the netherworld with a wide array of colors, could mesmerize someone else, but not him. There was only one soul that he was interested to find, and yet, she remained hidden and out of his reach.
"Tantai Jin."
Tantai Jin's heart throbbed at the sound of that voice. The spirits have warned him about other spirits imitating the one he was searching for, to lure him into the depths of the river, to take from him the flesh that were denied them, but like the fool that he was, he turned to the direction of the voice.
"Tantai Jin."
He wondered if it really was her voice, or if the years have mellowed his memory and what he was hearing was just an echo of his longing. He slowly got up to his feet and followed the sound of the voice.
"Tantai Jin."
His bruised feet stepped on one of the dandelions that suddenly sprung up around him. Dandelions… somehow that seems familiar…
Something about a wish…
He remembered now. She had once written to him about saving a dandelion for him to wish on, while blowing on another to wish for his speedy and safe return from war.
The dandelions here in the netherworld neither carried any wishes, nor fulfilled any for him. They were just cruel reminders of his failure to keep the person who selflessly gave up her wish, her life, for him.
His feet touched the river water, and are immediately scalded by the restless spirits in the water. But Tantai Jin was already numb to the pain, and waded steadily through the river to follow the voice that relentlessly beckoned to him.
Soon, the water closed over him, and he let himself sink into the burning waters of the Nether River.
Tantai Jin thought about that last dandelion she kept for him.
If there is a god above, let that god hear my prayer.
Through the waters, Tantai Jin saw her face, smiling at him.
Let me find Ye Xiwu.
Her dainty hand reached out to him.
Let me see her and hold her once more, and I swear…
Tantai Jin grimaced at the scorching and cutting pain of spirits tearing his flesh little by little.
…I will make her happy, and never let her nightmares touch her ever again.