My dear little broccolis💚💚💚
💚 So, this story is dedicated to two particular authors with whom I have briefly touched on those issues, and who make amazing stories. paleseptember10 & Krooela. Go check them out, you won't regret it.
💚 Fallen Angel💚
How would have Christian Grey's life turned out if the Greys had intervened when Elena tried to sink her claws into him? Would he still be the same man as we know, or someone completely different ...
‼️Rated M - {Out Of Characters/All Human/Alternate Universe}‼️
‼️Romance/Angst/Drama/Lemons‼️
‼️AS/CG/The Greys/The Steeles/Jack Hyde/Elena Lincoln‼️
💚 READ & REVIEW, DON'T BE A SILENT READER 💚
Chapter 31: Miracle (1,9K)
Christian's Pov
NOT EDITED, DON'T COME AT ME! ENJOY OR DON'T READ ^^
‼️TRIGGER WARNING FOR IMPLIED SEXUAL ABUSE IN THE ITALICS‼️
"Yes! Keep going! Remember, pet, this is for my pleasure! You'll always be my thing to play with, no matter what. Even years after your father will throw me in jail, I'll always be in your mind and stop you from moving on."
"No!"
I wake up with a start, drenched in sweat and trying to remember where I am. This isn't my bed, this isn't my condo, this isn't my safe place. I try to calm myself, doing my best to bring air to my lungs, but the more u try, the more I fail. The air is going anywhere but where I need it, and it's staying to freak me out. Am I in a closed space with very little air?
Suddenly, a hand touches my bicep and I recoil, still in search of my breath. Who the fuck was that and where the fuck am I? I keep trying to breathe, realising that I'm in the middle of a panic attack when the light is switched on and I see Ana moving so she can be in front of me, sitting on her knees.
I see her lips moving and I hear my name from afar as my head starts to feel lightheaded. I close my eyes, hating to be in this situation in front of her, and trying to remember the soothing words that Martha has taught me and that have helped me in the past. I never wanted Ana to see me like that.
But then, she takes my hand in hers and squeezes it a little as she says with a gentle voice,
"Christian, breathe. Just listen to my voice and breathe. In and out."
I open my eyes and see her deeply and slowly breathing, indicating to me with her free hand to do the same. I'm still short of breath, still feeling my lungs missing air, but I try to follow her. She smiles and continues,
You are Christian Grey. We are in the middle of the night of Friday the 19th of August in Montreal, Canada. We are going to have breakfast tomorrow morning with your little sister Mia, whom I will meet for the first time tomorrow. You are here for business and to remind some of your employees that you call the shots because you built this company you own out of nothing when you were barely 18. Your parents always supported you and even gave you the funds to start your company, with the deadline of a year to start making twice as much as what they gave you."
Her other hand goes to my hair, gently scratching my scalp, and I realise that she's managed to bring me back to normal. I'm no longer looking for breath or on the verge of panicking. Her beautiful blue eyes are steady in me, care and concern clear in them, and after a few moments of calm silence, she asks me,
"You okay?"
I nod, closing back my eyes and leaning into her touch, finally thinking back at that nightmare. This isn't my first nightmare, far from it. I'm even used to them, by now, and Martha has helped a lot with that. But this is the first one about Elena. I never had any dreams about her, it was always about my dead birth mother and her pimp. But now …
The 'dream' in itself was odd. It never occurred like that. I mean, yes, she liked to remind me that I was there to please her, but that whole thing about her owning me forever even after she would be long gone from my life … that's completely new.
Is Grace right, and I have been more scarred than I thought by that bitch? Is she the reason why Ana hasn't had the possibility to properly touch me and we haven't been intimate yet? After all, Martha and Django both reminded me that it took time for some rape survivors to get back to a somewhat normal sexual life. And others never do. Am I doomed to always want but never get?
This is not good.
I have the urge to call Martha, but other than the fact that this is the middle of the night, Martha always insisted to talk to me physically, unless I was abroad and it was an emergency. Though this is the case. I am abroad, and this dream is definitely not normal.
I am still lost in my thoughts, trying to figure out if I can call Martha around lunchtime tomorrow when Ana's hands suddenly leave my body and I feel her getting up from the bed. I snap my eyes open and see her going to the bathroom where she switches on the light before coming back to me with a gentle smile on her lips. Then she lays back on her side of the bed and switches off the light, but since the bathroom light is on, the room is not completely dark, which is reassuring.
She pats my pillow and tells me, "Lay back down, Christian."
I warily do so, wondering if I wouldn't be better off hitting up the pool downstairs as soon as she goes back to sleep. I don't think I will be able to go back to sleep. I'll just wait for slumber to take her, and then let her sleep peacefully whilst exerting myself in some way.
As soon as I'm on the mattress, Ana shimmies so she can be in my arms, the blanket safely between us, and she reaches up to caress my hair, making me close back my eyes. I love feeling her fingers in my hair, it's something peaceful and soothing.
For a moment, neither of us says anything, and I just bask in the feeling of her gentle fingers combing my hair and scratching my scalp, but then she asks in a whisper, "Do you want to talk about it?"
"No. Not really."
I reopen my eyes, dreading the condemnation that I will see in her blue sapphires, but there is nothing but understanding. She even gives me a small reassuring smile as she assures me, "It's okay. You don't have to."
So I peck her lips and keep enjoying the nice feeling that her fingers bring to me. I never understood why people were so much into massages. But if this is just a preview of how it feels to be massaged, now I understand more than ever. So I take a deep breath through my nose, appreciating the scent of her apple body wash and I let her do her magic to my head.
I still can't believe how lucky I am to be with a woman like her. She is so patient and understanding, and every time I think she will run because of what she learns about me, she surprises me. This could have been a breaking point between us, and this was the reason I almost refused to sleep with her the first time around. But no. She was perfect.
And then, it hits me. No matter how empathetic Ana can be, she knew to a T how to calm me down and make me feel better. So I frown, bringing my hand to her face and I ask her,
"How did you know how to react and what to do?"
This makes her stop her regular and soothing motions for a heartbeat, her own brows furrowed before she cleared her throat and explained, her voice still barely more audible than a whisper,
"My Mom told me. She … used to have messed up nightmares and … she said that Dad would reassure her like that. He'd switch on the light to show her that no one was there to hurt her, he'd take her in his arms and remind her who she was, where she was, how strong she was and …"
She hesitated, before continuing, "And then he'd always remind her that she was loved and cared for and that he'd always be there for her."
This is the first time she is talking so much about her Mom to me. Up until Grace showed up unannounced, I thought her mother was dead. And then, I wondered if maybe there were some unresolved issues between them. But during that brief moment Ana talked about her Mom, I could tell that she loves her mother deeply.
I know I am not the best social animal out there, but I couldn't hear any resentment in her voice concerning her mother. Only love, and maybe a hint of protectiveness. Maybe her Mom is one of those mothers who had their child-parent them instead of the other way around.
"And yet, your parents divorced," I point out, hoping that she will tell me a bit more about her strange family.
The ghost of a pained smile haunted her lips before she opened her eyes to search mine. For a long minute, we stare at each other before she shrugs and says, "Mom needed it. She needed … space and … She loves Dad, more than anything, and Dad loves her just as much. But he also understood and gave her the space she needed. He is a very caring and insightful man."
That's one way to see it. But then again, Ana thinks her father is a marshmallow. So I'm not sure if I should take her word for it. I don't doubt that the Colonel loves and cares for his daughter. But I have my reservations concerning his insightfulness.
A new silence falls upon us and my eyes start to flutter shut, making me realise that Ana is indeed a miracle. I didn't think I'd be able to go back to sleep, and now, I know that I am just minutes from slumber. So I kiss her forehead and say from the bottom of my heart,
"Thank you, Ana. For being here, and for being who you are."
Her hand leaves my hair to slowly go down my cheek and she smiles at me before kissing me, "You're going to say that again when it won't be as an aftermath of something difficult for you. And I'll say something even sweeter back, okay?"
I chuckle, nodding my agreement and I kiss her back, wondering if this feeling of elation is love. I know I love her, I've known for a while, but right now, … I don't know … I feel so loved by this woman, it feels unreal. Even though she never said anything remotely close to that, even though I never told her my feelings for her, at this right moment, I feel her love for me.
So my kiss becomes more passionate and I get lost in it, I get lost in this feeling between us. If I were to die now, I'd die a happy man.
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.~°~. .~°~. .~°~.
💚Your thoughts and opinions are always welcomed💚
💚Okay, this is a chapter I was looking forward for you to read so let me know what you think about this.
💚 What did you think of Ana here and the way she handled this whole thing?
💚 And this is the furthest we have heard about Carla ... I think it is obvious now, but what do you think?
💚Well, let me know what you thought of this chapter. What was your favourite part? What do you think will happen next?
💚 E L James owns the names of the characters from the Fifty Shades franchise, Everything else is mine (including the mistakes and grammar errors).
Love, Mina 💚💚💚