Prince Alan had yet to stop laughing.
It was honestly getting annoying. Normally, Lady Hunt or his brother would have started strangling him to cut off his airflow, but with Prince Ian in the room, that sort of casual treason between friends wasn't very appropriate, and would also get them jailed. It would have been very embarrassing to get jailed in the midst of helping the Third Prince, even if he had gone insane.
"So, what, I'm insane now?" the Third Prince said in exasperation, trying to be heard over his brother, who'd collapsed on the sofa and was struggling to breathe and laugh at the same time. "What, just because I haven't rushed to be by my Katarina's side as soon as possible, and have been spending my time here in the capital doing paperwork and writing letters and– all right, now that I say it out loud, I understand where you're coming from, but still!"
"It's all right, your highness," Maria said. "Medicinal Magic has come a long way when it comes to treating madness and insanity. I'm sure after we tie you up and submerge your body in water so who can't rashly use Fire Magic, Lady Fitts from the Medicinal Magic Department can help you put your shattered mind back together."
"My mind is perfectly fine just the way it is!" the Third Prince said. "Because it is not shattered and I am not insane!"
"There's no need to yell," Sophia huffed, crossing her arms. "We're trying to help you, you ungrateful egomaniac."
"You're trying to get me declared insane," he pointed out.
"Well, the first step to getting help is admitting you have a problem," Sophia shrugged. "And you clearly do, otherwise you'd have shown up in Maria's estate and tried to obnoxiously monopolize Lady Katarina's time. Sure, it's annoying, but it would have at least shown you were in your right mind. What kind of crazy person doesn't realize how wonderful Lady Katarina is after having spent time with her and want to be with her all the time, as much as possible?"
Maria raised an eyebrow, followed by her hand.
"See!" Sophia declared dramatically for some reason, gesturing at Maria. "You're becoming Maria! Do you want to be like Maria?"
"Hey!" Maria protested. True, she had been a despicable monster who had brought death and horrendous torture to an innocent fishing hamlet once upon another life, but there was no way for Sophia to know that, so that was just rude!
Third Prince, why are you making that face? Are you being rude too? Prince Alan, your laughter got louder again, that's most definitely rude!
There was a knock on the door, which swiftly opened, revealing Nicol Ascart carrying a folder full of papers tucked into his arm. "Your highnesses, I brought the–" His words cut off as he saw everyone and blinked. "Everyone? Prince Ian, Lady Berg? What are you all doing here?"
"Nicol!" Sophia gasped. She rounded on the Third Prince, looking outraged and pointing to the femininely pretty man who was her brother. "You gutter tar! Look what you're doing to him! If you won't let us help you for you, then at least let us do it for Big Brother. He's clearly become a wreck worrying about you!"
Everyone looked at Lord Ascart, who looked as smooth-faced, expressionless and effortlessly pretty as ever.
"How can you do this to your best friend?-!" Sophia declared.
"I don't see it," Lady Hunt said. She looked around. "Can anyone else see it?" Maria, Lady Selena, Prince Ian, and Prince Alan in the throes of laughter all shook their heads.
"You're all insensitive," Sophia sniffed judgingly. "I don't know why we stay friends."
"You all share the same unhealthy obsession?" Maria proposed.
"It's not unhealthy!" Sophia, Lady Hunt, the Third Prince, and Lord Ascart chorused, with Prince Alan's laughter seeming to signify agreement.
"Not denying it's an obsession," Maria muttered. She coughed. "Regardless, there is still the matter of the Third Prince's insanity."
"I'm not insane," the Third Prince said curtly. "It wasn't funny when it was first suggested– shut UP, Alan!– and it's not funny now."
"Then how can you explain your non-appearance?" Maria pressed.
"I've been busy!" the Third Prince said, gesturing towards his desk which, admittedly, had a lot of paperwork on it.
"We've all been busy," Sophia said, "we're adults now! That's never stopped you before! What's the real reason?"
Lady Hunt had been staring at Alan, still on the sofa laughing, and appeared to come to an idea. She went to the side table that held refreshing beverages and ice and took a glass, which she filled with water using her magic. Then she went to Alan and poured the glass straight on his face.
The sputtering finally cut off the laughter, and he sat up, looking wet and annoyed. "That was uncalled for," he said, still chuckling a little, even as he used his own magic to draw the water from his face and the sofa and put it back in the glass Lady Hunt had set on the table.
"Well, you were laughing like a lunatic," his fiancée said primly. "I was worried both of you had gone insane."
"I'm not insane!" the Third Prince cried. They all ignored him.
Prince Alan nodded. "Fair enough, I guess," he said. he looked at his brother. "Look, we should just tell them, they're only worried about you. What's the harm?"
"It's my own private business," the Third Prince said.
Prince Alan rolled his eyes. "When your private business is affecting your allies and subjects, it's not private any more, it's a problem," he said. "Maybe they can help."
The Third Prince gave his younger brother a level look.
"Hey, they came here because they're worried about you, why not ask?" he said. "After all, Maria's here, and she's the biggest expert on the matter we know."
"I'm hardly an expert on insanity, your highness," Maria demurred. "I just know a little bit."
Prince Alan began to snicker, then coughed and slapped himself in the face. "Not that. You're the biggest expert on romance we know."
"EXCUSE you, Alan Stuart!-?" Sophia exclaimed, indignant. "I'll have you know I've read every romance novel published in the last thirty years, a good number of the rest published in the last two hundred, AND the complete Night Fall series to boot!" Even Lady Selena was glaring at him in understated umbrage, obviously contesting the statement, which Prince Ian was smiling about.
Prince Alan gave Sophia, and then his future- sister-in-law a level look. "Of the people in this room, who is actually living with the person they're engaged to?"
Sophia and Lady Selena kept glaring, but averted their eyes, implicitly conceding the point, the traitors.
"Excuse me?" Maria said, confused. "I am not an expert on romance. I doubt such a thing even exists."
"Well, you're the closest one we have, from your applied practical experience if nothing else," Prince Alan said. "My brother has a problem and needs your advice."
"I don't," the Third Prince said curtly.
"Brother, the first step to solving a problem is admitting you have one, Sophia's been over this," Prince Alan said.
"A problem," Maria said flatly. "A romance problem?"
"Yup," Prince Alan said.
"Involving Lady Katarina, no doubt," Maria continued.
"Not her directly, but definitely Katarina adjacent," Prince Alan nodded.
"And this is why he has not approached her? Because trying to solve this problem is occupying his… faculties?"
"Why did you pause like that?" the Third Prince said suspiciously.
"Yup," Prince Alan said.
Maria nodded in understanding. She bowed to the Third Prince. "My apologies for wasting your time, your highness, and I withdraw and apologize for my declaration of your lack of sanity. I was in error." Straightening, she gave Prince Alan a level look. "Please leave me out of this." They knew she stayed out of their romantic nonsense!
He smiled. "No."
Maria ran for the door, quickening as she did so.
She slammed straight into a barrier of water. Not ice, as would normally be the case for a barrier. Water.
It was like slamming into a brick wall, and her quickening ended as she found herself unable to breathe, the water absorbing all her kinetic energies, slowing her down, preventing her from moving quickly…
She felt a hand pluck the collar a the nape of her neck as Prince Alan fished her out of his trap. It was a humbling reminder that while Prince Alan was not considered as smart and talented as his brother, that was only in comparison. Had he been born alone, he would have been hailed as a genius, with no one to overshadow him.
"Now, now," he said cheerfully. "You DID accuse him of being insane. Its only right you make up for it by giving a little learned, expert advice to help my brother solve his problem, right?"
In front of her, the door became coated in ice, with a layer of freestanding water in front of that to dull the energies of any attacks trying to shatter it. Yes, definitely a genius in his own right.
Maria sighed as she was sat down opposite the Third Prince over the coffee table. She'd only wanted free tax law advice– er, to help her friend who might be in some kind of trouble.
How had it come to this?! she wailed in her heart. Curse you Prince Alan!