My dear little broccolis💚💚💚

💚 So, this story is dedicated to two particular authors with whom I have briefly touched on those issues, and who make amazing stories. paleseptember10 & Krooela. Go check them out, you won't regret it.

💚 Fallen Angel💚

How would have Christian Grey's life turned out if the Greys had intervened when Elena tried to sink her claws into him? Would he still be the same man as we know, or someone completely different ...

‼️Rated M - {Out Of Characters/All Human/Alternate Universe}‼️

‼️Romance/Angst/Drama/Lemons‼️

‼️AS/CG/The Greys/The Steeles/Jack Hyde/Elena Lincoln‼️

💚 READ & REVIEW, DON'T BE A SILENT READER 💚

Chapter 48: Salvation (3,2K)

I wake up in the middle of the night, drenched in sweat but safely lodged in Ana's arms. I'm in nothing but my boxers, and for a moment, I am destabilised by this. But then, I remember how Ana stripped me to my boxers and made sure I didn't have any major injury before slipping into bed with me and taking me back in her lovong arms to let me cry in them as I listened to her heart and she lulled me into a comforting atmosphere

I am not even ashamed of having spent the evening crying in her arms. I mean, she only brought me solace and made me feel safe. She didn't say anything, didn't ask for any explanation as to why I was suddenly at her place when I was supposed to stay in London until Sunday. She simply wrapped me in her arms and let me cry as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

The only thing that she did was to cover me with a few kisses in between my sobs, silently letting me know that she was here for me. And even though she didn't say it, feeling her presence so deeply rooted next to me, it made me feel like everything would be okay.

I really didn't think that this whole Elena situation had affected me so much. I mean, I always thought that I had dealt with it with Martha. After all, we have spent countless hours talking about it. From me denying the whole thing all the way to me admitting that she had abused me and that she was on her way to groom me into her puppet.

I shiver at that. She used to love calling me her pet. I even avoided a couple of specific dominants when I realised that they had a thing to call their submissives their pets. I get that it was meant in the erotic sense for them in their scenes, but it just made my hair crawl in my back and pulled me out of the scenes.

I hope that if we ever go to a club, Ana will not pick up on that nickname.

I look at the ceiling, reflecting on me crying in Ana's arms and what it means. Or mostly what what didn't happen mean. I've been through enough panic attacks to know that I was on the verge of having one. And yes, I had time to calm myself down before she showed up, but still. I literally broke down in her arms, and this should have triggered an attack. But nothing. Nothing but solace.

Is this because I'm in love with her, or is it because she is such a sweet and caring person in the first place?

My thoughts wander off to that day when Eric found us in their attic and my blood runs cold for him. He's going to be devastated when he's going to learn about this. He was so angry at her. In fact, I'm pretty sure that he would have killed her if I hadn't been there asking him not to. I should have kept my mouth shut and let him rid us of that vermin.

Eric was the one I confided the most about this, only seconded by Elliott. And I know how guilty Eric felt about everything that she did. He had known for a few years about her particular taste in BDSM, but he comes from a family that is very against divorce, so he let her have her few affairs here and there so she would be happy.

He never imagined even for a second that she would use it to abuse young kids and groom them to cater to her needs. Boys and girls. Until my parents told him how worried they were about me after I started 'working' for Elena. This had been a devastating moment for him, to find me in this position. He felt that he gave her the tools to use and abuse children. It took him years to recognise that it wasn't his fault.

Why couldn't she have died in jail?!

I mean, I know that other inmates knew what she was in for. And I know how paedophiles are not welcomed in jail. It's some sort of unspoken rule. You can have committed the most gruesome murder on live television, as long as you didn't touch inappropriately a kid, you won't be judged in prison.

I have lived all these years barely thinking of her and how she was doing, but the rare times I did, I always pictured her suffering at the hands of the other inmates. And it felt good to have this image in mind, to have her suffer instead of me, to know that she was getting some justice.

Why couldn't she have just died?!

I move a little to reach for the covers now that my heat has regulated and that I'm no longer hot, and when my eyes fall on Ana, I realise something about earlier. She touched me!

She touched me when she was stripping me, checking my injuries, and then she touched me again when I was crying in her arms. And neither of us realised it. I was too focused on my pain, and she was probably just doing her best to comfort me. And yet, she touched me.

So I take her hand in mine, wondering if this was a fluke, and I place it on my chest, breathing a bit quicker than I should for someone just laying in bed. But … the panic attack that I was expecting doesn't come. Nothing.

Ana flickers her eyes open and I let go of her hand, though it is still resting on my bare chest, and as soon as her eyes settle on it, sleep disappears from her face, she doesn't say anything, just looking at her hand before her eyes slowly look up, searching for mine.

For a long minute, we don't say anything, just looking at each other as the impact of what just happened downs on us. I don't think I'm suddenly and miraculously cured, because my breathing is still rather quick, but … it seems that my subconscious (or whatever it is that is in control of my haphephobia) has decided to let Ana in my personal space.

This has never happened before. Even my family doesn't get that close with me. They know why, and they don't begrudge me for it, but … it seems that Ana is closer than family to me. Of course, she is. If this isn't a sign that I'm going to end my days with her. I don't know what is.

Slowly, I take back her hand in mine, though I only move it from my chest to quickly kiss her knuckles. She gives me a timid smile before asking me, "Are you feeling better?"

That's a good question. I feel less … panicked and more at peace. But I don't feel better. I'd feel tons better if she was back behind bars until she would die of something ugly and painful. So I simply shrug. She nods and asks,

"Do you want to talk about it?"

I can tell by the tone of her voice that the choice is mine. I don't have to talk about it and she won't mind or try to push me into it. And I'm not sure if I should tell her. I mean, what if this is the one issue too much for her? What if she decided that I'm too fucked up for her to keep wasting time on me. Or worse, what if she doesn't believe me?!

But then again, Ana has never let me down so far.

"I … have learned some pretty bad news and … you're the first person I thought of."

She doesn't say anything or doesn't do anything. She just keeps on looking at me, waiting for me to come out on my own. I look up, clearing my throat and admiting, "I haven't told you all there is about my life."

I wait for her to admonish me about this, but when she doesn't, I go on,

"You know, the first time you visited my parents I showed you my room and you asked about my teen years. Well … I was horrible. I was out of control. I got thrown out of two different schools for … brawling shall we say. I was constantly drinking, even though I was just fifteen. I was spinning out of control.

Carrick and Grace tried everything. They tried therapy, they tried threatening me to send me to military school, they tried coaxing me, bribing me, and at some point, they resulted in cutting off my allowance so I wouldn't have money to drink. And that's how … Elena came into the picture.

She was a 'friend' of Grace's and she caught me, one day, cutting school. I was pretty drunk that day. She said that her garden needed some work and that she'd pay me if I did it. So I did because I needed the money. And every day she would pay me, and every day I would buy my booze.

For a whole week.

Until that Friday …

I don't even recall what happened exactly. She just said something to me, and I just snapped back like the angry teen I was. And she slapped me."

Without even realising it, I bring my hand to my cheek, as if she had just slapped me again. I keep my eyes above Ana's head and continue.

"It hurt so much, my ear was ringing. But I had never hit a woman before, and I didn't want to cross that line. And then she kissed me. She kissed me and fondled me, telling me that if I behaved, she would reward me. I left that night with the threat that if I told anyone, she would beat the shit out of me.

And the next day, when I came back she … showed me her attic. Which was basically a BDSM dungeon. And for two weeks she used me in every way she wanted. She … she was just sick. A real psycho.

It took me years and a sex therapist to understand that what she did was not BDSM, far from it. What she liked was … my fear, my unwilling submission, my … she was sick…"

I shake my head, wondering if Ana is looking at me differently. She hasn't said a word or moved a muscle. So I finally look down, and I look into her beautiful unnatural blue eyes. In the dark of the night, they almost seem violet.

But all I see is love, empathy and a hint of rage that she's trying to hide. So I lean my forehead against hers and let her know, "Her husband caught us and she's been in jail ever since. I wasn't the first kid she used and abused. And … I just learned that she made it out for good behaviour."

I let out a shaky sigh and feel Ana's hand leaving my chest so she can snake her arms around my neck. I let her embrace me, feeling once again so safe in her arms and when she kisses my temple, what she says seems almost foreign,

"Do you want hot cocoa?"

"A hot cocoa?"

"Dad always said that hot cocoa will always cure a broken heart."

I'm about to argue that my heart is far from broken when I realise that she's right. I am broken-hearted. The inner child in me that felt safe because his abuser was neutralised and who just realised that justice isn't forever.

So I get out of bed with her and I follow her to the kitchen. I sit by the counter as she warms the milk with the chocolate in it and she lets me know, "I told Kate to sleep at Elliott's tonight. So it's just us."

I nod, looking at her stirring the milk and the chocolate as the chocolate dissolves. She looks a bit stiff now that I'm seeing her under the light and so I look down at my hands, interlocking my fingers as I let her know,

"Ana … I don't want what I just told you to become an issue between us. I don't want to end up regretting having told you this."

I hear her turn off the heat under her pot before she comes to me and forces me to look at her. Her eyes are steady on me, full of fire and determination.

"I love you, Christian. You'll have to get that through your thick skull. And loving you doesn't come with conditions. I don't get to pick and chose which part of you I love and which part of your life I want in mine. Yes, I have my hard limits, but so far, you haven't reached any of them. So you're stuck with me."

And just as she says so, she leans forward and kisses me on my lips. And it's the kiss from salvation. It's a kiss free of judgement, free of pity, free of anything but unconditional love. It's just Ana showing me how much she loves me.

So I wrap my arms around her, and I kiss her back, moving her so she sits on my lap. My hands get lost in her hair and I lose myself in that kiss, claiming through it the deliverance that she's offering me.

When we break our kiss, she rests her forehead against mine and looks at me from under her lashes, making sure that she got her point made, "Better?"

"Much."

She smiles and pecks me before getting up and going back to her hot cocoa. "Can I ask you a question, though?"

"Of course."

"Is … she the reason why you went to BDSM clubs?"

I look at her as she adds a dash of cinnamon with her brown sugar and I grimace, "No. definitely not. I didn't even want to go because of her. But my sex therapist … helped me on that."

She nods and pours us each a mug of hot cocoa, before going to the fridge and brandishing canned whipped cream. She generously serves both of us and slides my mug in front of me, handing me a straw and a spoon.

"I have another question," she lets me know, taking some cream on her spoon before making it disappear in her mouth with obvious delight. I look at her, signalling her that I'm listening and she says,

"You said that … you wouldn't mind if I tied you up and had my wicked way with you. But … you know … I mean … she …"

She's looking for her words, and so I tell her, "I trust you, babe. I really do. I know that … she didn't do it because she was actually in BDSM, she did it because she was a twisted and sick person. I know you would never do that to me. I know that if I tell you to stop, you will. Actually, I'm pretty sure that given how you pay attention to everything I do, I wouldn't even have to tell you for you to stop."

"No pressure here," she lightly says and I smile, bringing her chair closer to mine and biting her earlobe,

"Given how much you liked our last sexual activity, who knows if you won't like this one even more."

She rolls her eyes, though I still catch the faint blush on her cheeks and she bites back, "I don't know, Christian. Someone enjoyed a lot being Mr I'm-in-charge-and-I-want-you-to-say-it-you-naughty-girl."

I laugh and sip on my hot drink, my eyes steady on her, I thought this would be awkward, but so far, nothing like it. Ana is really a heaven-sent.

"No more questions?"

"Just a few more thousands. But for now … does your family know?"

"Yes."

"And does she have a last name?"

This makes me look at her twice. I didn't think she would need that detail. I mean, it's useless. But then again, Ana is someone who focuses on the detail. that's what makes her so insightful and observant. So I just tell her, not seeing the harm in that.

She simply nods and finishes her cocoa before taking my hand and leading me back to her room. Once we're in bed, I take her in my arms, and when she tries to assume our usual position, I make sure that she doesn't and that he head is laying on my chest.

She ups her head, and I grin, letting her know, "You can't take that away from me. This is a fantasy I've had since I was a teen and I've seen it in every single movie ever."

She chuckles and puts her head back on my chest, slightly yawning. I caress her arm, feeling so … powerful in that right instant. "Since I came back earlier than planned, how about I take you somewhere this weekend."

This makes her look back at me, and just at her expression, I can tell that this won't go where I want.

"Oh, Christian, I'm sorry. But you weren't supposed to be here and … I'm going to see my Dad."

"Oh," is all I say, and even I can hear the disappointment in my voice. Maybe she is freaked out after all and needs some space from me. And as if she read my thoughts, she tells me,

"I'm not running. It's just that I really need to see him and I know he's going to travel soon. I was planning to see him before you said anything about spending the weekend together. But I'll come and see you first thing when I come back to Seattle."

I could ask to go with her. After all, we're official now in the eyes of her father. But let's not make it even easier for him to kill me. I know he doesn't like me, and since he's in the BlackOps, he must have a whole arsenal in his house. I guess I'll just have to do without Ana for a while.

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💚Your thoughts and opinions are always welcomed💚

💚 I know you all have ben waiting for this chapter, so let me know what you thought.

💚 And what do you think of Ana and the way she reacted? Even though she's leaving Christian out of the blue?

💚 E L James owns the names of the characters from the Fifty Shades franchise, Everything else is mine (including the mistakes and grammar errors).

Love, Mina 💚💚💚