A Katarina Interlude

Katarina Claes wasn't sure how to feel about shortswords. While it was lighter than her normal sword—while made of wood, it was weighed and balanced like a metal sword—it was just short enough that trying to parry with it kept resulting in her needing to use the weak instead of the midpoint between the weak and the strong the way she preferred. It was lighter too, which made parrying even harder.

Mashu said that she should use a shield to parry when she was using a short sword. Katarina was rapidly coming to the conclusion that her cousin just thought shields were the answer to everything, despite the fact that the reality of the situation was clearly different.

Obviously, swords were what was best for parrying.

Still, Maria-sensei insisted, and Katarina didn't want to be the Arrogant Noble Knight Trainee who got his sword broken as a lesson in how much they didn't know. She liked her sword! Besides, that guy always turned out to be a villain! No way was she going to be 'that guy'! She was already a villainess, getting another level of villainy on her was… was… was too scary to think about!

Maria-sensei kept telling her to practice using a short sword in both hands, since it was light enough to make it a one-handed weapon. In her opinion this made it practically impossible to parry with since she didn't have enough strength with just one hand, especially if she was using her left, unless she actually stepped into the attack—which was just crazy talk, are you crazy?!— like Maria did.

BUT! There was a potential upside! One that made Katarina persist in learning the shortsword, no matter how stupid she thought it was. If she was able to learn the shortsword well enough, than maybe there was a chance… a very small chance… that Maria-sensei would teach her how to do that most super-chuuni of super-chuuni things, Dual-Wielding, since the Dual-Wielding Maria knew seemed to involve a shortsword instead of two longswords! Then she'd be a villainess who was TOO COOL TO KILL OFF!

True, she wouldn't get the same benefits a Dual-Wielding hero or heroine would, like a harem of diverse love interests, plot armor, a four-season anime series that continues on even after the first season had already used up the premise of the series because it used to be a web novel that just blew up and now the author keeps extending its life for money, video games, spinoffs, fanfics, and a legion of imitators trying to copy your formula. Normally, she would at best become the formerly-evil teammate and butt monkey comic relief because she'd become too cool to use. More often than not, she'd die to the hero, in a really dramatic fight scene with a sunset, or suffer a fate worse than death, like getting married to Sakura.

BUT…!

She COULDN'T die to the hero, since the hero was already in a relationship and therefore Katarina couldn't get any bad ends that way! So really, all she'd be doing was making herself too cool to kill off! It was a perfect plan to avoid potential future bad ends that might suddenly pop up on her!

WHAM!

"Ow…"

"Squire Katarina!" Maria-sensei said sternly. "Don't get distracted!"

"S-sorry, Dame Campbell!" Katarina said.

"If your mind has so much energy to spare for idle thought, perhaps it needs to be tired out as well," Maria-sensei said ominously. Katarina winced, bracing herself, even though she knew it wouldn't do any good.

Maria pulled a sheet of paper from her pocked. Katarina was beginning to hate that pocket. The amount of test papers it seemed to contain was endless! Damn these random QTE events! "List these titles of nobility in descending order!"

Katarina quickly sheathed—she could guess what would happen if she treated her weapons disrespectfully by just dropping them on the ground or sheathing them poorly—quickly grabbed the test paper, and ran to her little school desk in the corner while Maria pulled out a little glass egg-timer. Only it didn't time eggs, it timed tests, so maybe it was a test-timer.

Quickly, Katarina scanned the list. Hah, this was the trick one, where there were several words that basically meant Marquess! But Shana had told her about that one! If they all started with 'm', then they were the same rank! And Maria had put in 'baroness', 'baronet', and 'baronne', another trick question, but Maria knew baronet and baroness were different ranks with similar names! She was almost annoyed there wasn't a 'count' and 'viscount' in there somewhere.

The sand hadn't even gotten to half when a smug-but-trying-not-to-show-it Katarina rushed back and handed her paper to Maria.

Maria glanced at it momentarily. "Adequate," she said. "Get back to practicing."

Katarina knew enough to know that was Mariago for 'good job'. Still not looking smug, even as she allowed herself a little fist pump before drawing her short sword, Katarina got back to practicing her short sword moves, keeping to a good rhythm so she didn't exhaust her stamina and half-ass a swing. Better no swing than a half-assed one, since the latter left you open…

Still, she couldn't help muttering about the shortsword being too short…

The next day, Katarina looked at the weapon Maria-sensei had, with a perfectly smooth face, just handed her. She looked at its twin in Maria's hand.

For the first time since she'd ever met the heroine, Katarina had to wonder if the blonde was pranking her.

"Er, Dame Campbell?" Katarina said, not just showing her confusion but doing all she could to exaggerate it so that Maria would get the message she was really confused. "What is this?"

'This' was a sword. Well, a broken sword. It clearly wasn't a knife, since the blade was too wide, and there was a groove down the middle to reduce weight, something most knives didn't need. Some time ago, something had broken the blade less than a hand's length from the guard, leaving a jaggedly pointy tip that made it clear this as not a dagger or knife but nothing more or less than a broken sword. The blade had been broken such that Katarina couldn't even tell if it was a longsword, shortsword, or one of the more distinct, named variations of the two, like a Heide Knight Sword, a Drakekeeper's Sword or any of the other swords Maria had shown her drawings of. It was even shorter than a standard Broken Short Sword, and Katarina couldn't believe that broken swords came at a standardized length! You'd have needed a ruler to tell if the remaining blade was longer than the handle and pommel together, and personally Katarina would have bet against it.

"It's a broken sword," Maria said. "One too short to even qualify as a Broken Straight Sword. We will be sparring with them today. Carefully, of course."

Katarina knew what 'carefully' meant. It meant that Maria would be careful not to even scratch Katarina, because there was no way short of absolutely nothing would Katarina be able to touch Maria, even as her knight deliberately allowed herself to be parried and riposted to break Katarina of the habit of being ginger when using live steel weapons by setting off her muscle memory.

It was always very nerve-wracking.

Katarina looked at the broken sword. She never thought she'd think this, but at least she'd have a shield to parry w—

"Weapons only," Maria-sensei said, as if reading her mind. "No shield. You may parry in the way that you prefer to your heart's content."

Katarina managed not to scream, but only because of years of practice of keeping her Bad End Panic screams internal.

Shorts swords were wonderful! They were so wonderful! Why, if you stepped forward into the attack, it was SUPER, SUPER easy to catch even Maria's blade at the midpoint of the strong and the weak so you'd have enough leverage to parry it aside and riposte! Truly, shorts sords, while not as good as longswords, were really, really super great! Much better for parrying than shields!

Katarina happily swung her shortsword with great enthusiasm as she practiced her drills, joy in her heart and a song on her lips. Ah, short swords were so nice! So nice and long and had so much mass to let her parry with! One day, she was going to master the shortsword and pair it with a longsword, and then she would be a Dual-Wielding villainess who would be too cool to kill off and she'd NEVER HAD TO USE A BROKEN SWORD TO SPAR WITH MARIA-SENSEI AGAIN!

Still, it was nice of Maria-sensei to give her both broken swords. That way she knew where they were at all times so she could NEVER BE MADE TO PRACTICE WITH THEM AGAIN! If she ever had to parry with something shorter than a shortsword, it would be too soon!

And so, Katarina Claes took one more step on the path to git gud.

Katarina tried not to cry as she looked at the weapon Maria was holding. Her gardening trowel probably weighed more than that thing!

"This," Maria-sensei said with a perfectly smooth face, "is a Parrying Dagger."

Katarina did not scream, but only because of years of practice of keeping her Bad End Panic screams internal.

Piece Of Junk Straight Sword
Straight Sword with its blade broken almost to the guard.

A weapon with no exceptional qualities. Not even a mad Hollow would choose to fight with this. Those empty-handed would look down on you for using it.

Skill: Stance
While in stance, use normal attack to break a foe's guard from below, and strong attack to slash upwards with a forward lunge. Only, neither move will appear very impressive with a broken sword.