I don't own twilight. What I own is my character's behavior, personality, background, and plot of my story.
Author's Note at the end.
"Hi. I am Edward and I am an alcoholic. The truth is that I am many other sins that I should not have committed, but this isn't the place for them," Edward pauses to try and find words for what he wants to say next. He has been attending AA meetings since he left rehab over two years ago, but till today he still feels a loss for words when he speaks. Inside those walls, he is a monster that lurks in the shadow of the man he is in court.
He looks at his hands as he says, "A couple of years ago I was driving home drunk with my girlfriend in the passenger seat and something terrible happened. No body died, but my girlfriend's faith in me did and she left while pregnant."
Edward tries to smile but it comes out as a grimace while saying, "I found out two years ago and I have been working on myself to make sure I am worthy of my daughter."
Edward roughly runs his fingers through his hair trying to think of the right thing to say when a feminine voice behind him asks, "What have been doing?"
Edward twists his arms across his chest and starts bouncing his left knee before he tells her, "I do this," he says pausing to point to the ground referring to the AA meetings, "I go to therapy, I went to rehab, I took anger management classes, I am part of the big brother program, and I work as a lawyer for, I mean I volunteer as a lawyer for the women's shelter."
Technically speaking, Edward thinks of what he does for the women's shelter as work not volunteering because in order to repent people work and that is what he is doing in the women's shelter. Also, it is a constant reminder for him to not veer off the right path. Each woman he represents needs his representation because of a man like him.
A man raises his hand timidly and when he nods his head in his direction, she asks him, "What are you scared of?" And then he quickly adds, "If you don't mind me asking."
"I am scared that my ex won't let me see my daughter," he simply answers.
"You didn't have to worry man. She can't stop you," one of the guys chimes in.
Edward starts aggressively shaking his head and the knee bouncing returns as he tells him, "No, no, no, no. You don't understand. I don't want to force her to let me see my daughter. I don't want to turn this into a legal battle. She is her mum, and I shouldn't hurt her. I have done enough of that to last her a life time. I don't, what I am scared of is her telling me she doesn't want me anywhere near Cece and me not being able to stop myself from suing for visitation rights. I want to meet my daughter, but most importantly, I want to be able to respect my ex's wishes if she chooses to not include me in her my daughter's life. A miserable mother can't raise a happy child. I don't want to make my ex miserable by starting a legal battle, or have her living in constant fear that I will harm our daughter."
Edward curses himself in his mind. He shouldn't have said Cece's name out loud. Cece doesn't deserve to have her name sullied in such a place. After his statement, everyone seems to leave him alone, and he zones out of the entire thing and operates on autopilot. He only focuses on his surroundings in the car once his phone rings.
He looks at the caller ID but just finds a number. "Hello, Edward Cullen speaking."
He hears breathing on the other's end and it dawns on him that whoever is on the other end of the line is afraid. He can think of only one person afraid of him. "Bella, is that you?"
"Yes, yes," she pauses for a second and then tells him, "Angela told you dropped by while I was out of town."
"Yes, yes I did. Did she tell you what I want?" he asks her too anxious to put into words what he actually wants. For days before he went to her place, he couldn't sleep because he was very anxious about having to face Bella and tell her that he want to see Cece. Bella's absence was a blissing he never saw coming.
"She did, but I want to meet you first before I decide on anything," she tells him after a moment of silence.
Hello lovely people
It took me a lot of time to figure out how to introduce the new and improved Edward. I hope that you like my choice to go with the AA meetings. As you can see Edward didn't just go to rehab, he has done a lot of steps to make things change, and he is continuously working on himself.
Yes, the title is a not-so-subtle nod to Taylor Swift's song "This is me trying" If you have never listened to it, give it a listen. It perfectly sums up Edward's feelings.
Please tell me your thoughts and feeling about Edward in this chapter. Do you think his effort is enough? What do you think will happen next? What do you want to see happen next? Do you have any criticism that I need to take into consideration? Reviews are like a dose of dopamine to the writer in me, so please keep them coming.
Until my next update,
Stay Safe