Twilight belongs to another dreamer, but these dreams are mine. I'll share them with those who might prefer waking dreams to reality.

I quickly entered the house when Carlisle said Edward wasn't doing well. Alice too looked very upset in Jasper's arms, as she warned me not to run up the stairs.

I tried the handle to our room, but he had locked it from the inside. I knelt down in front of the door when I noticed the sounds of his sorrow. I knew he had been brushing off the stress he would be under today, and that he was so focused on my well-being. Vampires may not be able to experience disease, but his mental health had taken a definite hit. My heart ached at the thought of his pain.

I tapped and softly wondered, "Edward, can you open the door?" One second I was kneeling on the floor, and the next he had me against his chest, his agony was clear. "Oh Edward," I held his head close to me as he held mine. I placed my chest as close as I could against him so that he could feel my heartbeat. I ran my fingers through his hair in what I hoped was a soothing way, while he caught his breath. I recalled that while we were separated, he would see me in his room, but he knew I wasn't real because he couldn't smell me, and I supposed that's why he continued to inhale like it was his last breath. I kept caressing his hair and neck, rubbing circles into his back, and reminding him that I was unharmed.

"Shhh, It's ok, it's ok. I'm here, I'm not injured. I'm alive, I'm not leaving you," I crooned. He seemed to be truly mourning, and I ached for what he went through today. "Everything's ok now, everything is ok."

"Bella," Esme called gently from outside the door, and I turned my head to listen carefully, "I'm leaving an insulated bag with sandwiches and dessert for you outside the door here. When you both are ready, you can help yourself. The rest of us are leaving, to give you some privacy."

"Thank you, I love you all."

"We love you too, Bella."

When I turned back to Edward he was staring at me, "Hey," I said, "are you alright?" He didn't answer, but sighed deeply, and put his hand to my cheek. "Why don't we move over to the couch? Ok?" I pulled his hand and sat him down before climbing into his lap and hugging him close, tracing the lines of his face. "I love you my Edward, my mate. I'll never leave you."

He sighed again and whispered, "Your fraudulent demise is something I can never discuss again," he took another calming breath. "I came so close to losing you that day I raced the meteorite. You were almost crushed." he said, voice cracking. "Everything that Charlie assumes happened to you now, was prevented that day by milliseconds. When I set you down at the base of the tree I couldn't believe you were unscathed. I was prepared to staunch your blood and bite you then if I had to. I would have run you hundreds of miles to keep you safe. And when you began talking of wanting to stay with me, begging me not to leave you alone." He shook his head, "You weren't hurt. I was afraid I was hallucinating the whole thing, but I could smell you, and in my delusions, you never cried." He inhaled and slowly released a breath before he went on, "As soon as you've regained your strength, I will change you without guilt or guile. The thought of eternity without you would drive me to madness. I can see now your sympathy for Victoria, bent on destruction. I could never survive if your life ceasd. I've been circumventing the subject of the meteorite storm because I didn't want you to have to think about what others might feel, but I too wasn't ready to speak or even think of what may have happened if I'd lost you."

"Don't talk like that. We will never be apart again Edward. I won't let that happen. Soon I'll be like you, and I'll stay by your side for eternity. I couldn't live without you either. I've never known anyone with such a beautiful heart." I kissed his palm and held it to my cheek. And then I kissed his lips before hugging his stone frame to me. I couldn't explain it, but I felt, no, I needed to reduce the space between us as much as I could. I think he felt it too. My lips touched his neck and jaw before returning to his mouth. Before I knew it we were removing our clothes, pressing ourselves together. I felt like I could fuse his heart to mine if I tried hard enough. We found our way to heaven and back together, like we'd always known how to get there. When it was over and we held each other, I couldn't believe I could ever experience something so pure. There's no way I could have known it was possible.

"You're getting cold," he whispered.

"I don't want to leave you," I protested.

"Can't I come with you?" he hoped.

"Yes, please." I answered.

I led him to the bathroom and started the tub. As I adjusted the temperature he ran to the closet and came back with robes, which he hung on the back of the door. Ever the gentleman, he took my hand as I stepped in, and climbed in after me. We lounged in the heat, and then he asked to wash my hair. I washed his after, and used the suds to make funny spikes. He sculpted mine into a perfect swirl before turning on the attached spray hose and rinsing it clean. We made a mess all over the floor before getting out but I was beyond caring. It felt nice to smile and laugh with him. He gently brushed my hair, and when we stepped out of the bathroom we remembered the state of our room. We calmly righted it all, and remade the bed, erasing the memory of loss and despair. I ate and we talked until it was late, and then made love again before I fell asleep in his arms.

"Bella wake up." I felt a kiss at my temple, "Wake up my love, it's late in the morning." Nearly warm hands snaked under my pillow and around my waist.

"What time is it?"

"Past 11, I'm to go hunting today, but I cannot leave you without… not after yesterday. Not after last night."

I opened my eyes to see his crooked smile, and remembered. I felt the corners of my own mouth curl up, and I reached up to kiss him once, twice. "What time do you leave?"

"Not long now, the sun will be hidden in a short while for most of the day, so we're going on foot. We'll be back this evening. I have time to sit with you while you have breakfast if you want to get up now. Or, can I bring you something before I leave?"

"No, I'll get up now. I have plans with Alice today, we haven't had much time together."

"I've been monopolizing you for the most part."

"Hey, I wasn't complaining." His crooked grin was back at that statement. I kissed him once more and scooted out of bed.

I quickly grabbed my clothes and went to the bathroom, but forgot the floor was wet. I slipped, bracing for impact, and landed softly in Edward's hands.

"I believe this makes me 1 for 3 of you landing on your backside, my little human."

"My butt thanks you." he squeezed my rump before righting me.

"No thanks needed, as I've obviously benefited from it." I swatted at him but he dodged it. Then, grabbing a dirty towel from the laundry, mopped up the rest of the floor within seconds.

He winked before shutting the door, leaving me to get ready. I looked in the mirror. I didn't look different, but I felt different, fresher somehow. I shook my head and got dressed.

Esme stood at the stove when we entered the kitchen, plating 2 chocolate peanut butter crepes and the last of the strawberries she'd bought for me. Carlisle leaned against the sink, smiling at her as she finished.

"Thank you Esme. You know you don't have to go through this trouble, I can cook for myself."

"Nonsense," she waved me off, "you are my daughter, and I enjoy it," she said, brushing my hair away from my face before walking toward the laundry room.

"So Bella," Carlisle started, "Rose and Emmet informed me that you did well yesterday. You directed them where to go, and when, without difficulty. You helped Rosalie find what she was looking for."

I started cutting pieces from my crepe as I answered, "She taught me a lot about what to look for, and she and Em told me about the family's time during World War 2. It was really fascinating."

"Can you tell me, did you concentrate at all, during your excursion, on the time or the goals you had set?"

"Not really," I took a bite and chewed, "I had in my mind that we couldn't be in the sun, and that if we were delayed by the sun, it would delay the shopping. I sort of wanted to get that part over with," I smiled.

Carlisle chuckled, then asked, "And what of where you found yourself in the junkyard? Emmett said you separated yourself from them for a short time."

"They were headed straight down a row, still looking around, but I was curious to see what was behind this huge pile of neatly stacked tires. I felt like it wouldn't be so neat if it wasn't important. And I knew they could follow my scent if need be."

"That's very interesting. Now that we know how this talent of yours works, it's intriguing to look back and puzzle out times when you've used it on a daily basis without knowing. Perhaps I should compile a list." he mused, then smiled, "Edward I'll be in my study, let me know when you're ready to leave."

I smiled at the spot where Carlisle stood seconds ago, before turning to Edward, "Will you be alright hunting? Being away from the house all day?"

His face fell slightly, knowing I was worrying about his reaction yesterday. "I'll be ok," his dark eyes didn't look into mine, but focused on his hands in his lap. "I needed to process the situation I had been avoiding since the moment I ran you from the crash site. If Charlie's visit hadn't made it so real, if I didn't have to pretend it happened, I don't think it would have been so intense."

"Just promise that you'll take care of you from now on. You are what's most important to me." I said, staring into his eyes, willing him to understand the depths of my feelings.

"I promise," he kissed my forehead and told me to "eat" while he fiddled with a lock of my hair and periodically grazed his nose against the shell of my ear. I walked him to the door and he kissed me more passionately than normal, a tiny reminder of the night before. He bit his lip trying not to smile as my own smile got wider. I knew my face was redder than Rosalie's Mercedes and I tried to look away. He laughed and said "Carlisle, are you all ready?" He kissed me once more before backing up and saying "I'll see you later."

Jasper appeared out of nowhere and put Edward in a headlock as soon as they stepped out the door. Emmett called, "See you later Bella!" while making kissy noises at me. Carlisle just winked and ran.

"Ugh, they all know, don't they." I voiced to myself as the mortification washed through me.

"Edward's been holding onto that V card for decades, they're bound to give him some trouble over it." Alice stood next to me, looking out the front window in the direction of where they ran. "They're probably impressed that you were able to get him to give it up, really."

"He took mine too though," I said as I turned for the stairs.

"Yes, but you're eighteen. He's over one hundred years old, and since he was turned, he's been an adult perfectly capable of making adult decisions. Furthermore he's had no shortage of offers over the years, from females of both of our species."

I processed that for a few moments as we ascended the stairs and entered Alice's room. There was probably no shortage of Jessicas and Laurens over the years. I wondered who the Vampires were however. I'd have to ask Edward later.

"Enough of that," Alice said with a smile, "how was it? Was it amazing?" Alice plopped on her bed facing me and I couldn't help my answering smile.

"So amazing. I had no idea. I feel different somehow, ya know? But nothing has changed besides, well, you know," I felt the blush creeping up as I rambled. Still, it was nice to engage in girl talk. I never trusted anyone enough to do it before I met Alice, and it had been months since I had a girls' day that wasn't a complete disaster.

"I don't have much of a reference, because sex never had a stigma for me. Losing my memories and all, I don't remember if it was a 'sin' or not." She said, making air quotes with her fingers, "But when I finally found Jasper, it took us a while to coax it out of each other too. Him being a southern gentleman, and me having zero first hand knowledge. She sighed, "Those were the days. If we're separated for any length of time I still get that feeling of being absolutely virginal and of course he plays into it," she giggled.

While she took my measurements as planned, she went on to tell me how she found him, and their early days together before they joined the Cullens. How Jasper believed her as soon as she said who she was, and despite being able to feel what she already felt for him, he still took his time and courted her. "They've all been through it, so don't let their teasing of Edward bother you."

We spent the rest of the day together, starting with going through the purchases I made yesterday. Rosalie showed up while I was making mac and cheese for lunch, and asked my opinion on seat coverings for her new project. Alice knew of the project of course, and seemed really excited about it. Esme said she finished the landscaping around the out buildings late in the afternoon, and would start on removing the poison ivy near the creek tomorrow before the boys could "muck it up" and poison the human. Alice popped popcorn for me, and we four watched Bridesmaids together. I didn't feel like an outsider in the least with these women, as we laughed and made commentary through the movie. It was so new and comforting to know that I wouldn't have to feel out of place again.

After the movie Esme and I went to the kitchen and I helped her make chicken florentine. I was just finishing up dinner when we heard the men arrive home. A second later Edward entered the kitchen, absolutely filthy.

"Play with your food?" I asked him with a smirk.

"I was ambushed by my brothers, Carlisle was zero help."

I heard Carlisle laugh from someplace in the house, "It is a father's duty not to pick a favorite amongst his sons!" It always made me smile that they yelled for my benefit.

"Are you done with your meal?" He asked, golden eyes playful.

I answered in the affirmative, and faster than I could follow, he placed the dishes in the dishwasher and threw me over his shoulder. Once he'd raced me upstairs, I was tasked with helping him get clean in some very interesting ways.

Thank you all for sticking with me, and for the well-wishes. Things have calmed down some now. My husband had begun fainting, and we didn't understand why. It turns out his heart was stopping, which is odd, because he is very young to experience heart issues. His AV and SA nodes were not firing, and they have no idea why. Structurally his heart and vessels are unremarkable other than a partial blockage in the right coronary artery, but it wasn't significant enough to cause cardiac tissue damage, so he's a medical anomaly. Thankfully we live in an area where there is a world-renound cardiovascular institute, and the heads of the electronic and radiology department thought it was cool enough to jump in on his case. Turns out the head of cardiovascular radiology is a good friend of ours so he got the very best care. He now has the Cadillac of pacemakers, and I no longer fret about waking up next to a corpse. He said I saved his life, which is a lovely thought. I'm a nerd for cardiology so I asked the right questions, and nagged and dragged him to every appointment. So if that's hero shit, then I'm ok with it! Ha ha! I'm hoping to get back to writing and editing this summer. I truly appreciate the support and feedback. xx