I don't own twilight. What I own is my character's, personality, background, and the plot of my story.
Scroll down to the author's for the trigger warning.
Time seems to pass by and before Bella knows it, it has been two months since Cece and Edward met for the first time. They have met in the park five times so far. Edward has slowly built a tentative friendship with Cece. Too worried by Bella's idea that friends shouldn't turn out to be daddy, he doesn't interact with her heavily, but by now, she is used to his presence in her life.
When they meet in the park, he would typically play with her for 20 minutes before he goes to sit with Bella and leaves her to play with the other kids. Truth to be said, Edward has proven her wrong so far. They had a couple of bumps along the way. Namely, the ice cream he got for Cece without her permission. When Cece stayed awake past her bedtime, and gave her hell the next next morning, Bella left him a lengthy voicemail with language of a colorful nature. Regardless to say, Edward never crossed her again, and made it a point to ask her for permission over everything.
Despite, Edward's efforts to get closer to Bella, she kept an iron clad wall between them. She doesn't know what he is trying to do with his efforts, but she knows one thing for sure, Bella has no interest in being friends with him. She doesn't trust him. So far, he has shown that he loves Cece and is good to her, but that doesn't mean that he will be good to Bella.
Once an abusive partner, always an abusive partner.
Frankly, Bella isn't sure that he has changed. He is on his best behavior because he knows that she can ban him out of Cece's life. He is being good to Cece because being good is the only option he has. The same doesn't apply to Bella. Of course, the fact that he gave up his parental right doesn't fit with the story she has pieced together, but Bella isn't interested in putting in a piece that will create a plot hole in her story.
Bella shakes her head in frustration. This isn't the time to think of that. This is the time to help Angela make food. Today, she is having Edward, Rosalie, Emmett, and their kids for dinner. Edward was surprised when Bella told him about their gathering, but Bella never had a problem with Emmett and Rosalie. Not when they were dating, nor after. Through it all, Rosalie and her stayed close. Their friendship predated her relationship with Edward. Rosalie and her made a pact when they started dating that they will never let their relationship with the Cullen men impact their friendship.
"Are you sure that we shouldn't make desert Bella? I feel like we should?" Angela asks Bella with a frown sounding worried.
"Angela, Edward said he would handle it," Bella reminds her then returns her attention to the lasagna she is layering.
"You trust him to not mess that up?" Angela asks skeptically.
Bella snorts as she maintains her attention on the lasagna and replies, "I wouldn't trust him to not miss up watering grass."
"Okay, at least let us have something as back up. That way if he makes a mistake, it won't be a problem," Angela bargains with her.
"Angela!" Bella states firmly and when Angela meets her eyes, with a playful glint in her eyes, she tells her, "Edward is an adult. I am pretty sure he knows how to handle responsibilities." Angela looks at Bella in surprise. Angela for the life of her, can't understand why Bella is being this nonchalant about the entire thing.
Whenever anyone is coming over, she makes sure everything is perfect. People having a perfect time at her place is almost as important as people loving the spaces she landscapes. She views gatherings at her place as if they are the season's party, and no one can go home with a frown on their face, not because they didn't have fun anyways.
Complete control over those events is something Bella never gives up. She doesn't trust people to do things up to her standards. She doesn't trust them to not miss up things. She wouldn't intentionally give up control, unless.
"Isabella Swan, did you handle Edward this responsibility because you want him to miss up?" Angela demands dropping the stainless steel spoon on the marble counter.
Unbothered by the loud clattering, Bella replies, "He offered to do it. Who am I to stop him."
"Isabella Swan, look at me?" Angela demanded.
Bella tries hard to ignore Angela's demand as she pretend to be concentrating on the lasagna. "Isabella, don't make me repeat myself?" Angela demands louder.
Bella huffs in frustration and then looks up, "What?"
"What is wrong with you Bella? You are supposed to be helping Edward, not waiting for him to make mistakes," Angela tells her angrily.
"How long?" Bella asks her with an agitated expression on her face.
"How long what?" Angela asks Bella confused by the strange turn their discussion has taken.
"How long will I help him? A month? a year? Ten years? until I die? How long will I help him?" Bella pauses to take a deep breath and then starts counting on her fingers, "Through out our relationship I was the responsible person. I made sure that he didn't piss off anyone bad enough to get killed. When he did his horrendous act, I took responsibility and covered it up. When it was discovered, I was the responsible one who left the only place she has ever known and went to a different continent. Since Cece was born, I have been responsible for her. Yes, Dad and Maria where there, but only because I was sick. For all intent and purpose I have been responsible for her my entire life. And now that Edward is back. It's my job to handle everything concerning the process of integrating him into Cece's life. He says he wants to do whatever I want so that I am the one in control, but I can't help but think that he just doesn't want to handle any responsibility and is throwing it on my shoulder, as usual," By the end of her tirade, tears are streaming down Bella's face and she is heaving loudly.
Bella drops herself on the counter and let's the cool marble on her forehead calm her down. She feels her heart beat too fast and starts taking loud quick breaths against her well. A panic attack is coming her way. She worked herself up too much. She feels Angela's arms around her as she rubs her back.
"Sweetie, I think you are having a panic attack," she thinks Angela tells her. She can't tell if it's real or her imagination. The sound of her breathing is too loud for her to tell if anyone is speaking to her.
Angela starts instructing her to take slower deep breaths. It's hard, extremely hard, but after five minutes Bella finally gets the hang of it and matches her breathing to Angela. "Mummy? What's wrong with mummy Angie?" Bella hears in the distance. Bella looks up and to her horror finds Cece standing in the doorway. She turns to look up at Angela who unlike her isn't leaning on the counter. She begs her with her eyes to get Cece away and Angela gets the message.
She quickly walks toward her and takes her hand then leads her away from the kitchen as she tells her, "A piece of lasagna went down the wrong pipe and I was helping her spite it up." Whatever Angela says next goes over Bella's head as she is focused on what is going in front of her. She could have sworn that she is making only one lasagna dish, so why are there two in front of her?
She reaches out to touch both dishes and her hand goes through one of them. she blinks a couple of times in confusion. She hasn't formed any super powers, has she? When did panic attacks start giving people super powers? She blinks a final time and her eyes fall on the counter where there is only one dish. Realization sinks in as she sinks into the ground. It was only one dish. That was just her mind playing tricks at her.
She places her head between her knees and continues the deep breaths she started with Angela which is how she finds her. "Are you feeling better?" She asks her as she kneels beside her and places a hand on her back.
"I think," Bella replies in a shaky voice looking at her.
"Well, you don't have the option of not feeling better. Your guests will arrive anytime now," Angela tells her as she swipes away the tears that Bella didn't know were rolling down her cheeks.
"Yeah. You are right," Bella replies nodding her head hastily as she scrambles to her feet.
"Drinks this," Angela tells her as a glass of water is shoved into her hand.
Bella nods her head and raises the glass and takes a sip from it, and then she takes another which is when she spots Edward's car parking in front of her house through the window and panics. "Edward is here."
"Go and fix yourself," Angela tells her.
"But I haven't finished the lasagna yet," Bella protests.
"I will do it. Go."
Bella nods her head and follows the instruction only to pause when Angela calls her, "You need to talk to Edward about this. You can't continue carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders."
Hello lovely people,
Trigger Warning: a character has a panic attack.
So, this chapter was also a couple of hours late, but it ended up longer than I expected, so we are even. I planned the entire story before I started writing it, but I abandoned my plans four chapters ago, so I am flying in blind. The general plot is still the same, but I am not sticking to the chapter planning I did previously which means that I go into most chapters not knowing how long they will be. Some end up within the word count I originally had in mind, and the update comes in time. Other times, it's longer than that and I end up needing more time.
Meanwhile, go ahead and read my other story, Risk it All, while waiting for my next update.
Please leave a comment in the review section. It could be your favorite part, thoughts, feeling, or even criticism. Any and every comment you leave is read and taken into consideration. Your comments motivate me to update faster, and help me grow as a writer.
Until my next update,
Stay Safe