I don't own twilight. What I own is my character's behavior, personality, background, and the plot of the story.
Author's Note at the end.
Bella looks at Edward with teary eyes as she slowly sits down and pulls Cece into her lap. She continues to hug her, rub her back gently, and sway with her from side to side.
Bella shrugs at him to show that she doesn't know what to say. "Mummy?" Cece mutters looking up at Bella.
"Yes sweetie," Bella answers her as she sweeps away the tears under her eyes.
"I love you. I know that I am sometimes annoying but I love you. I am sorry that you were sick. I am sorry that having me made you sicker," Cece tells her looking up at her.
Bella sweeps away the tears under Cece's eyes and tells her, "I know that you love me. It's not your fault that I was sick. Getting sick sometimes happens. That's how life is sometimes."
Bella decides to shelf this discussion for another time. She knows she has to address Cece's guilt but now isn't the time.
Cece goes back to hugging her and mutters into her neck, "You aren't going to force me to spend time with Edward, are you?"
Edward watches as Bella sighs. What will she tell her? Is this the end? Is there no hope for him? Will he spend the rest of his life paying for the mistake of missing up with Bella? Will he never connect to his daughter?
As if she felt her eyes on him, Bella lefts her eyes to meet his and tells Cece, "Of course, I won't force you, but I still think you should give Edward a chance."
"I don't want weak people in my life," Cece mutters stubbornly not keeping her eyes closed.
"It's more complicated than that Cece. Edward isn't weak," Bella tells her daughter trying to keep the frustration out of her voice.
"Cece is right. I am weak," Edward states surprising the three of them.
Bella looks at Edward as he sits beside her while Cece turns her face in the other direction and closes her eyes tightly.
Edward takes a breath before whispering, "I didn't know how to love you without hurting you. I left because I knew I wasn't strong enough to be a good parent. Sometimes you get used to having something that is bad to you so much that you can't not have it. Everything else stops being important, not because you don't think they are important but because you can't think of anything else but this thing."
Edward stares into Bella's eyes trying for the hundredth time to tell her how sorry he is with them because there are no words left to say. He blinks away the tears when his eyes drop at Cece and he realizes that while her eyes are still closed tightly, she turned toward him.
He shudders as he lets a breath out and tells her, "When you are having it, you are thinking of ways to make the things it makes you feel last, and when you aren't having it, you are thinking of when you can have it. It makes you a terrible person and you know that you need to stop having it but you can't. You tell yourself that you can stop anytime you want and that it's under control, but deep down you know it's not and so you never try to stop it because you don't want to acknowledge the fact that you are wrong."
He looks up from his hands and finds Bella silently crying. He wants to reach out and sweep away those tears but doesn't. He owes it to her to keep his hands to himself. He owes it to her to never touch her again after all of the marks he left on her.
His eyes drop to Cece and he finds her eyes open but she isn't staring at him. She is starting at the strand of her of Bella's that she is playing with.
Edward looks at the wall opposite them and tells them or maybe himself as at this point he isn't sure if he is talking or thinking out loud, "You keep going to that thing because it helps you forget all of the things you don't want to remember. You don't need to think of anything you hate about yourself or how you don't deserve the things or the people in your life. It's like a medicine that makes things easier, but it does make you better, it just makes your pain less obvious while adding more pain to other areas. It turns you into the most terrible person you know."
He looks to his left and finds Cece looking at him, "When I left, I left because no one deserves to have their daddy be the most terrible person they know. I didn't want to hurt you. I wanted you to think that I was a good person instead of knowing that I am a terrible person. I love you, Cece. Nothing is going to change that. I will always love you even if you never want to see me again. If you never want to see me again, it's okay. I am okay with that. I will be happy for the rest of my life knowing that you know that I love you."
Edward smiles a wistful smile at Cece before getting up and walking down the stairs.
Suddenly, when Edward is in midstep, Cece asks, "Are you better now?" And then hides her face in her mother's neck.
Looking back at her, he answers, "Yes," and then continues walking down the stairs.
The dinner gets cold as Bella and Cece stay on the floor long after Edward leaves.
Hello lovely people,
Dont worry. I promised a HEA and I will deliver. Things with. Cece will be a bit rough before they get better.
One of you guys commented that Bella should tell Cece about leaving to Italy before telling him. That's not happening because a) it will sabotage Bella's relationship with Cece, b) Bella was clearly being harmed in that relationship and did the right thing by leaving, and c) the "he didn't know" excuse will only work if he had really worked on himself after Bella left him and was ready to be a dad the moment he found out about her instead of two years later.
Please leave a comment in the review section. It could be your favorite part, thoughts, feeling, or even criticism. Any and every comment you leave is read and taken into consideration. Your comments motivate me to update faster, and help me grow as a writer.
Until my next update,
Stay Safe