A Katarina Interlude

Katarina Claes happily hummed a tune about revenge that she remembered from that dream she had about being a zombie idol singer as she got dressed in her squire clothes. Maria said they were getting her a sword today something she could wear to proper formal events. She'd been told she didn't have to get rid of her practice sword, but that it wasn't an appropriate formal armament in the state it was in.

Once upon a time, Katarina would have complained about that, but after her lessons with Shana-sempai, she was forced to agree that her favorite sword, as trusty as it was, probably wasn't all that presentable outside of the practice field and in knight-sponsored events where they had more martial standards. Maybe she could have it polished up and put a nice ribbon on it? Actually, yeah, that was probably totally allowed! You were allowed a formal weapon to be anything as long as it was pretty enough! Ah, but this was probably her fault, wasn't it? She had never given her trusty partner any proper maintenance all these years beyond wiping it up after practice, so now it looked old and dingy and… not presentable.

Well, she had to do something about that! What was good for wood… paint? No, no, not paint, that was just gaudy. Maybe wood polish? She'd have to find out was a good polish to use…

Ah, well, she can ask later! For now, she and Maria were going to get a new sword for her! And to do that, they were going to Cleeseton, which was practically back home, so yay!

Katarina finished putting on her armor, hesitated, then slipped her partner into her sheath. After all, there was no reason not to carry it around with her now, right?

Humming happily, she headed out to meet Maria.

"Mashu!" Katarina greeted as she pounced on her cousin and greeted her with a hug.

Maria sighed. Well, she supposed there was just no getting Katarina to act dignified all the time… or even most of the time… or even unless absolutely necessary… which this probably was not…

"Keith!"

"Ah! Sister, please, try to be more dignified!"

"Nope! Not required right now! Checked the book, it said I didn't have to, so you get hugs!"

Lord Keith sighed, but he was clearly enjoying the sensation of his sister pressed up against him. Though judging from his face, he was barely able to keep his lust in check.

"Father!"

"Daughter!"

Well, at least Duke Claes clearly felt no lust towards his daughter. Maria pulled down her hat down to cover her face in any case, lest that was only because Katarina was his legitimate child. While the duke had always seemed able to conceal his lusts in Maria's presence, best not to take chances…

"Mother!"

"Daughter." Despite the dignified response, Duchess Claes received her daughter's hug readily with her own small smile.

They were standing in front of Staligrast Arms again, where Katarina's formal armor had been made. That was already back at home, neatly folded up and maintained for by Katarina every week, just waiting for the opportunity to be used.

Eventually, mother and daughter let each other go. "Mother…" Katarina said seriously.

"Yes, daughter?" Duchess Claes replied, equally serious.

"Any luck of finding a fake Katarina Claes to send to the International Assembly?"

Solemnly, the duchess shook her head. "No. While I'm afraid there are enough young women of the right height and features similar enough that they can pass with sufficient makeup, none of them can managed to act Katarina enough. They all eat too slow, chew with their mouth closed, remember not to track mud inside, speak too quietly and politely, and can't smile wide enough."

Katarina nodded seriously, arms crossed in consideration. "Perhaps I can try teaching them? It's not just little things, they need to learn how to farm, how to climb trees…" She trailed off, frowning thoughtfully. "Did any of them at least know how to use a sword?"

"Lady Arde did, though to be honest she was a bit shorter than you, even with boots to increase her height…" Duchess Claes sighed. "Don't worry, Katarina. I'll do my best to keep looking for a fake Katarina we can send."

"Thank you mother!"

Maria was… well, more than a little insulted they both thought so little of the etiquette training Katarina was receiving, but even she couldn't deny that if a fake Katarina was an option, they should take it.

"Oh!" Katarina said, her fist slamming down into her other hand. "What if we used a magic tool to make someone who can already act like me just look like me?"

Duchess Claes brightened. "You're right Katarina! I'll write to Leona! If it's possible to make a magic tool that will conveniently let someone look like someone else, she would know!" The two exchanged wide grins, and Maria had never seen them look so alike.

"Unbelievable," Maria found herself saying. She would never have thought she would ever see Duchess Claes and her daughter of such like minds on such a strange subject. "Somehow, there are two of them." Lord Keith began coughing for some reason, while Duke Claes merely looked pleased as he watched his wife and daughter interacting together.

+2 Insight

Shaking her head, Maria coughed politely to get their attention. "Well, shall we go, my squire(!-!-!-!)? We need to find a sword that you like the weight of. While its meant to be formal wear, that doesn't mean I will not be functional."

"Ah, yes, Dame Campbell!" Katarina chirped as the Duchess Claes hastily snapped her fan open and raised it over her mouth so only her characteristic piercing eyes conveyed expression. "Hmm. Oh! Keith, are you getting a sword too?"

Lord Keith nodded. "Yes, mother figured it should get something suitable for my station," he said, patting the sheathed sword at his side. "So we're getting mine a new scabbard and rewrapping the grip, maybe add a new pommel."

"I'm afraid I've let my own sword go unattended for too long," Duke Luigi said. Behind him, his valet was holding a long, wooden box. "I decided that as you two are getting you swords seen to anyway, I might as well have mine refurbished as well."

"I'm having my shields professionally polished," Dame Mathew said as her maid Mary Fudge stood behind her with a wheelbarrow of various shields. "I'm not sure which one I'll bring to the Assembly, so I'm bringing all of them."

Katarina blinked as Maria turned to her fellow knight in surprise. "Eh? You're going too Mashu?"

Dame Matthew nodded. "Auntie asked me to escort her."

"Wow… this International Assembly must be really important if the whole cast is showing up…" Katarina mused. "I hope nothing bad happens. Aren't big events like this when people get assassinated and wars start and things?"

"Yes, which is why we made sure your formal armor was very sturdy," Maria said.

"And for those of us who don't wear armor, you should always know where the nearest pillar to hide behind is," Duchess Claes said, nodding. "I'm glad to see you're taking to your lessons so well, my daughter. Keep up the good work. Now, shall we go inside? I have a sudden urge to commission a new stiletto to match with everyone else's weapons… "

Maria trailed slightly behind the group of Claes—and one Romani—as they entered the premises, where they were greeted by attendants eager to cater to their Duke and his family, and someone helped Matthew's made with the wheelbarrow full of shields she was pushing. Katarina was quickly shown a selection of swords, ranging from straight sword to curved swords and greatstwords. The latter two were quickly dismissed, and they were not to Katarina's preference, but the squire's eyes did momentarily linger on a katana made in mimicry of the weapons wielded by the mythical Alonne Knights. Still, Katarina settled for picking an ordinary longsword.

"Oh!" Katarina exclaimed when she picked up the display sample.

"What is it, my squire?"

"It's just… it weights exactly the same as my sword does," Katarina said. "I thought it would be heavier."

"Training weapons have added weights to make them weigh as closely as possible to the weapon that they are mimicking," Maria said. "If anything, real weapons are likely to be lighter, since reduced weight is an advantage when handling a weapon."

"Well, this will do then," Katarina said. Despite her enthusiastic words, she was handling the longsword in her hands with proper care and respect, lifting it with both hands and lifting it up only on her palms after hefting it in one hand to judge the weight.

"Hmm…" Maria 'hmm'-ed. "See how it feel after doing a few drills with it."

There was a clear space for people to try out the shop's weapons. Katarina stepped few a few basic drills which, Maria noted, were mostly parries.

"So?" Maria asked. "How does it feel?"

Katarina hummed. "You're right, it's too light!" she said. "Can it be heavier?" She gingerly ran her hand along one edge. "And maybe not so sharp?"

"It's a sword," Maria pointed out.

"Yes, but it don't want to hurt anyone!"

"…" Maria '…'-ed. Well, she supposed that was a point… "What are you going to do it you're attacked?"

"Parry and run," Katarina said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"…" Well, it's not like there are beasts in Sorcier… And getting hit by a sword, blunt or not, would still hurt, especially with Katarina's Strength behind it.

Sighing, Maria turned to the person attending them. "Can that sword be made heavier?" she said. "And completely blunt?"

"With no pointy bit?" Katarina added.

"…" Maria reminded herself Katarina was a skilled combatant, and didn't really need the parts of the sword used to kill people. "And a blunted point?"

"Actually, can you just put a ball at the end so that it can't hurt anyone?"

All right, Maria had to put her ladder down on this. "No, my squire, otherwise you wouldn't be able to get it in and out of a scabbard," she said.

"Oh, right," Katarina said, likely just realizing. "But they can take out the pointy bit, right?"

Maria turned to the bemused attendant, who nodded in that way that said it was possible, but the customer had clearly taken leave of their senses. The knight had to remind herself that blunt weapons like clubs, maces and hammers existed, so Katarina's overweight, blunt, literally pointless sword was in good company…

+5 Insight

No, no, it still sounded stupid. So it was probably a perfect fit for Katarina.

Fortunately, Katarina had her wooden sword, so she could show exactly how much she wanted the sword to be weighed and balanced. Maria wasn't the only one bemused as a smith had to take measurement so the weapon's dimensions and feel could be duplicated. After that, Duchess Claes decided on the decoration, engraving, gilding and the shape of the pommel for the weapon. Maria almost expected it to be a little eggplant, and was mildly disappointed when it was simply the Claes crest.

At the very least, the higher weight requirement of the weapon meant there was no practical problem with adding in the ostentatious and purely decorative additions, as long as it was balanced properly. Though Maria couldn't help but feel it would have been cheaper to just give her squire a club.