I don't own Twilight. What I own is my character's behavior, personality, background, and the plot of the story.
Author's note at the end of the chapter.
"What?" Bella asks looking up at him.
"Charlie isn't completely wrong," he repeats himself.
Bella stares at him trying to figure out what he means. "You mean that I should date?"
Marco nods his head and tells her, "Of course, but also that Edward cares, and no. I don't mean that you should take him back. I just want to say that Charlie doesn't know everything, but I do, and I want you to know that Edward does care. Not enough for me to think that you should take him back but enough for me to tell you to cut him some slack."
Before Bella can say anything Marco gets up and goes to sit by Amanda and leaves her alone with her thoughts. She can't believe that Marco would say that. After everything she has been through, everything she has told him. Him saying that to her is the ultimate betrayal. She almost expected her dad to say that. Charlie has always had a soft spot for Edward. For some reason beyond her, Charlie has always had a soft spot for him.
Marco, on the other hand, hated Edward's guts. Always has been. Then suddenly, he does a 180 switch. She doesn't understand that.
"It seems like everyone around me has lost their mind," she mutters to herself then gets up to join everyone in her backyard. She finds them playing a game of cards while Cece is drawing at the end of the table. They don't tell her to join them and her pride stops her from asking them to let her join in, and just like that, Bella feels like she is back to second grade when they moved halfway through the year and she couldn't make friends with anyone. She spent the rest of the year feeling like she is too late to make friends. It took her three months to make one. By then it was finals time. During the summer vacation she couldn't meet with her cause her dad's job made it impossible to go out and at the beginning of third grade she was back to square one.
She sits back and watches them play the cards. They laugh around and joke. Charlie slaps Edward's shoulder and Edward fist-pumps Marco as Amanda reprimands both of them for cheating. Suddenly, Bella realizes that the people she introduced to each other, ones who had nothing in common and at one point hated each other are now best friends. She was the glue that got them together, but somehow they ditched her and stuck together without her.
That's her family, telling her she needs to cut some slack for the guy who abused her and then playing a game of cards with him! She loathes him. She hates him for this. There he is sitting back and joking with her family without a care in the world while she sits in the corner in silence.
When she realizes that she looks pathetic, she picks up her mobile phone and plays with it. She doesn't do much, but she gives the illusion of being busy. Despite her best efforts to tune his voice out, his laughter grates on her last nerves. She rolls her eyes and huffs under her breath trying to control her anger.
The spown of Satan finally spots her return to the table and invites her to join in the game of cards. It took 10 minutes for someone to notice that she is back. That is how invisible and irrelevant she is to them. She tells him that she isn't interested. She isn't sure what her tone sounds like, but he gets an apologetic look on his face and she hates him even more. She doesn't need his apologies. She never did. All she needed from him was decent behavior, but he didn't give her that. It was beyond his ability. Now, she wants him to be as absent as possible.
Once the clock hits six, she excuses herself and Cece and states, "I don't know how long it will take me, so if anyone feels like leaving, don't stay on my account."
Bella walks down the stairs. It's been over an hour since she left everyone in her backyard and judging by the lack of noise in her backyard, it's safe for her to assume that they left. That is why she is surprised when she finds Edward on his mobile phone in her living room.
"What are you doing here? I thought you left already?" she asks him wishing he had taken the hint and left like everyone else.
Edward rubs the back of his neck and tells her, "I am sorry. I thought we could talk about something before I leave. I didn't realize that I am unwanted."
Bella shakes her head frantically and tells him, "Oh no, I am just surprised that you stayed." The last thing Bella needs is add more tension to her relationship with Edward and makes things harder for Cece.
Edward nods his head in understanding and then Bella asks him, "What is it you wanted to talk about?"
"Oh yeah," Edward mutters to himself and stands up to follow her to the kitchen and tells her, "I have this idea that concerns Cece that I think we should do."
Bella opens the fridge and takes out an apple as she tells him, "What is it?"
Bella isn't trying to be short with Edward. She isn't. She just doesn't want to foster any sort of coziness between them. She is not as angry as she was before. She is still angry. She will always be angry. Her anger will come at her at the most random moments and then go back to being dormant.
"I just think what we did today is really good for Cece."
At the confused look Bella gives him, Esward explains, "I mean that Cece doesn't have a lot of family. It's only the people who were here today. She doesn't have siblings."
At the even more confused look on Bella's face, Edward pulls at the hair at the back of his neck and tells her, "What I am trying to say is you and I need to spend more time with Cece together. We need to have more of those gatherings like the one we had today."
A level of calmness that can only be achieved through a high settles in her and she tells him softly, "I don't understand why that's necessary. Cece knows that we love her. She doesn't need to have us be present around each other to know that."
Edward quiets down as he follows her to the living room and then sits opposite of her and tells her, "Of course. I know that she knows that. It's just that I think that when we hang out together, we are showing her that she has a united front behind her back."
At the unimpressed look on her face, Edward tells her, "Think of it this way; if we show her that we are a united front, we tells her that she has nothing to worry about on our front and that she can come to us at any time. She doesn't need to worry about us."
Bella opens her mouth to snub his idea but them remembers something her therapist recently told her, "Remember Bella, you can't heal at the expense of your daughter's health. Trauma shouldn't be a price she pays for your healing."
"Okay," she tells him trying to smiles.
By the look on his face, Edward doesn't detect her apprehension. "Great."
She smiles at him and mutters, "You think you could stay here for an hour or two? I have somewhere I need to go."
"Now?" Edward asks her in confusion looking at the pajama she is wearing.
Bella nods her head ignoring the doubt in his eyes. "Okay."
Bella thanks him and then quickly snatches the keys to the car and hops in before Edward doubts her state and tries to stop her. She needs to leave. She needs space and she can't have it while taking care of her daughter.
She drives for half an hour until the buildings start to give away to trees. After another thirty minutes of driving, she pulls up by the road and makes the rest of the trip on foot.
She keeps walking and once she is deep in the forest, she lests herself go.
She screams as loudly as her vocals would let her.
Hello lovely people,
This chapter felt very personal to me. Like Bella, I don't feel comfortable joining gatherings if I don't feel 100% wanted. If I don't get explicitly invited to something then I won't join. I don't feel comfortable asking for an invitation. I am not going to join a table if I don't get offered a seat on it. You can say that I am a bit of a prideful loner. Is anyone like that? Or am I a weirdo? Let me know.
Also, does anyone get the urge to scream sometimes? I feel like hitting my headwhen I am feeling stressed, although please don't do that. It's practically self-harm.
Please leave a comment in the review section. It could be your favorite part, thoughts, feeling, or even criticism. Any and every comment you leave is read and taken into consideration. Your comments motivate me to update faster and help me grow as a writer.
Until my next update,
Stay Safe