Three weeks before the official start of the International Assembly, Maria Campbell found herself being thrust into attending before she thought she would be needed to.
"A lecture series?" Maria said. She was sitting in the first floor sitting room, Sadako behind her, as she faced the Third Prince.
"Yes," his blond highness said with his usual bland, meaningless smile. A childish part of Maria wondered if his expression had somehow just set like that after making the same face for so long. "Not to impugn your capabilities, but I take it you haven't exactly keeping up to date on the current state of international politics?"
"Only as far as how it affects the market values of certain alchemical substances and whether we have to worry of being called to war," Maria admitted.
The Third Prince nodded. "You are, unfortunately not alone in your relative ignorance. This is something that happened last time we hosted the International Assembly as well. Fortunately, as I am now in a more active role than before, I have been able to take measures to rectify it. Hence why we will be hosting a series of lectures regarding the current state of international politics amongst all the attending nations, the relevant political histories of the attending nations, as well as the varies pieces of etiquette that are unique to each state. Unfortunately, not everyone has completely adopted 'The Noble's Proper Etiquette Reference and Manual of Propriety and Action', and not all of the other nations have a similar codifying piece of literature, so we can't just assign everyone to read the right book and be done with it. Hence the lecture series. It will start next week and will continue on until the start of the Assembly proper, open to all who need the enlightenment."
"I see," Maria said, nodding. "How helpful and convenient. I assume this will also help in slowly ramping up the castle's readiness to handle so many guests, allowing the staff and knights to gradually grow used to the increased activity?"
"Of course," his highness said. "You don't have to go, of course, but I would advise against it. Some of the idiosyncratic etiquette of our neighbors is not that easily researched on your own. The lecture is going to be led by the diplomatic corps, who've had the opportunity to become familiar with these hidden pitfalls full of giant ants and corroding acids over the years."
"The diplomatic corps? Can they be spared for this?"
"Oh, don't worry. To minimize disruption, most of the actual lectures are being conducted by members of the corps who are retired, or by their spouses who have learned the etiquette but are not actually members in an official capacity, allowing us to tap into their expertise without disrupting operations. And for the other things, some professors from the Academy and Ministry who make it their business to analyze these things and submit their findings to the diplomatic corps, as well as the corps own training department for preparing new diplomatic staff and appointees will be taking the lead."
"Ah. How clever." Maria nodded again. "It sounds very well organized and well-planned. I commend you, your highness. This will surely leave its mark and be repeated in Assemblies to come."
"Why, thank you, Lady Maria."
"A bit elaborate for trying to get to my squire, don't you think?"
To her surprise, the prince actually laughed. "Ah, Lady Maria. You know, you're the only one I know who wouldn't have phrased that angrily."
"Oh, I'd have had a mind to be angry if the benefits of your scheme for my squire's education were not so obvious," Maria said. "As it is, I will merely be thankful for this opportunity you present. However, you realize this is not enough to actually teach my squire what she needs to know, correct?"
"Oh, I understand. It's an ingenious solution really, asking a child to teach her. That's why I'm here. I can arrange for a private nook for young Shana to listen to the lectures so that she can learn them and therefore teach them to Lady Katarina."
"Your phrasing implies you wish for something in return," Maria said dryly.
The Third Prince hummed for a moment. "I'll be honest with you, Lady Maria. Your young ward, by participating, will be an unwitting pawn in one of my plots. I thought I would be upfront about it, at least to you, lest you take issue and… well, as your friend, I'd rather you not to take issue."
Maria gave him a piercing looking. "Inform me of what part she plays and I will consider further," she said flatly.
"I intend to make the location of the nook available to Lady Mary," the Third Prince said cheerfully, "and use her pride and devotion to her student to get her to join Shana there. This will both help Shana with learning the etiquette and other matters in question, and remove Mary as a consideration for most of the day."
Maria raised an eyebrow, reaching for the cup of tea in front of her and taking a long, slow sip to stretch the silence as she considered that. She wished Rafael had made the tea, but alas, he was still at the Ministry. "I see," she said eventually. "And what guarantees do you have that this additional attention to my ward by Lady Mary in public will not lead to some unfortunate misunderstanding that will cause her to be kidnapped?"
"I don't," the Third Prince said. "Because I can't guarantee that. Not even the best laid plans are proof against ill luck, else the dead gods wouldn't be the dead gods. I can only put some of the Royal Guard in place to keep any such misunderstandings from being acted upon. Though I should point out that if one wants to prevent the wrong thing from being spread and believed, Lady Mary would be a quite able at doing so."
Maria nodded, acknowledging that. "I see…" She mused a little longer, than gave a sharp nod. "Very well. Provided those guards are in place, I will allow Shana's participation." In truth, she was relieved. Much as she was perfectly willing to try to teach etiquette, foreign etiquette, to her squire (!-!-!) herself… she would really rather not.
Cowardly? Probably. But she'd already conceived a solution to this problem, and it had worked, so she was sticking to it!
Business and plots finished with, the prince and she spoke a little more, with him trying to lead her to a conversation about her opinions on vegetables, of all things. Maria did her best to follow along as she tried to have a conversation with her friend that wasn't about her duties or anything related to her duties. Which probably explained the subject matter. That had somehow led to a conversation about what hypothetical jams made from vegetables tasted like, which had made Maria feel the prince was teasing her, in his own way.
Eventually they had parted, the Third Prince off to likely see to the next hidden and elaborate element of his plot, and Maria off to write to Duchess Claes of the Third Prince's scheme. The duchess probably already knew, but it was Maria's duty to report possible danger to her squire to her squire's mother.
A Magic Tool Department Interlude
"I've done it!" Larna Smith declared triumphantly as she stepped into the Magic Tool Departmen's offices, holding something up in her hand. "After being darkly and nefariously betrayed, I, Larna Smith, have finally managed to craft a Light Magic tool!"
"It wasn't betrayal, you just never got around to properly submitting the paperwork asking for my blood," Rafael said, not looking up from the papers on his desk.
"It was a betrayal! You conspired with Leona Adeth!"
"She's actually Leona Romani now," Rafael corrected. "I've met her husband."
"She'll always be Leona Adeth!"
Sora leaned over to Nix Cornish. "Is it just me or does Larna sound like an ex-girlfriend who can't get over her breakup?"
"Ah!" Nix cried, snapping his fingers. "That's what she reminded me of!"
"Hey! I-it's not like I like Leona Adeth or anything! She's merely my sworn rival, hmph!"
"As much as don't want to agree with you, I'm starting to see it," Marsha Catley said.
"Can we stop talking about that woman and talk about my wonderful new creation?-!"
Rafael held out a hand. "Paperwork," he said.
Larna reached into a pocket and pulled out some folded sheets of paper, promptly handing it to him.
"The Director really has her whipped now, doesn't he?" Chad Braddington said as he did squats at his desk. One must never miss leg day, after all.
"Please don't start, I had to get tested in case I still had any lingering Dark Magic because people wouldn't believe Larna would actually behave," Rafael grumbled. "Hmm, right, right… All right, Larna. Now show me that what you made is exactly what was specified in the paperwork and nothing else!"
"Behold! The healing Light Magic tool!" Larna announced grandly, putting the device down on Rafael's desk, next to the bowl they all dropped souls in to pay for cookies from Maria. Shaped like a long tube, about the size of the syringes they used in the Medicinal Magic Department, it had a rounded half-sphere at one end and what looked like a button in the other.
"Huh. An actual practical design. I was worried you were going to make another doll or something."
"I couldn't get the design to fit in the toy snake I bought at the store, and my custom-made Maria doll hasn't arrived yet," Larna Smith said shamelessly.
Rafael glared at her. "Hey! It's my blood! Why were you planning to put it in a Maria doll?"
"Because dolls need to be cute," Larna sniffed. "You used to be cute, but you're not anymore! Now you're just cranky."
"What's that Larna? You take back your vacation request and want to work during the International Assembly with everyone else?"
For a moment, Larna looked torn, as if unsure whether to call is bluff or not. "I'm sorry, you're the bestest director ever," she mumbled.
No one bothered to point out Nathan Hart was officially the Director of the Magic Tool Department, not even Nathan, sitting happily shackled to his desk so he wouldn't get lost.
Rafael hummed graciously. "So, talk me through it. How does this work?"
"Ah, it's pretty simple," Larna said.
"How simple?"
"So simple even Katarina Claes can use it!"
"Wow, that's really simply," Sienna Nelson said, and Sora and Marsha both nodded, though the latter gave him a strange look.
"All right, that might actually be a new height of practicality for one of your designs," Rafael said, and despite herself Larna couldn't help puffing up with pride. "If you're right."
"I am! All you have to do is put the applicator close to your skin—it works even through clothes!—and press this button here with your thumb," Larna said, taking the device in one hand and pressing the rounded tip down onto her palm to demonstrate. "One press, and there'll be a burst of healing Light Magic! The reservoir inside it lets you use it twenty times a day, and it will replenish after ten hours of being left alone!"
"Huh. That actually IS simple enough that I wouldn't worry about handing it to Katarina," Rafael said, nodding. He frowned as a thought came to him. "What happens if someone puts it in their mouth and bites?"
"Who would put a Magic Tool in their mouth?" Lisa Norman's raccoon hand puppet said as she ate a cookie.
Larna and Rafael exchanged a look. "Don't worry!" Larna said. "The parts and casing are made of steel! Even if someone bites it really hard, or drops it, or steps on it, or decides to throw it, it won't break and leak out the quicksilver!"
"I stand corrected," Rafael said, genuinely looking impressed. "This is a new height of practicality. Well done, Larna. This is actually a well thought out design. I'm proud of you."
"Yes, yes, praise me, praise me!" Larna cackled. "I'm the number one maker of magic tools around here, no one else! You don't need to hang around that Leona Adeth woman!"
"Is it just me, or does Larna sound like someone trying to keep her husband from running off with another woman?" Sora said.
"Rafael is MY director! She can't have him!"
"It's not just you," Marsha said flatly.