I don't own twilight. What I own is my character's behavior, personality, background, and plot of my story.
Author's Note at the end.
"Must have gotten very bad in there for you, huh?" A voice asks from behind her startling her.
She jumps in fear and turns around only to get an annoyed expression on her face and mutter, "Oh, it's you."
She crosses her arms as she looks into the street. He couldn't give her a moment of peace? He had to follow her and set her nerves on fire. It's as if she needs his physical presence to feel rattled to her core. He can do that in his absence just as well.
"Is someone annoying you inside? I could always tell them to leave," he tells her with faux concern as he lightly touches her bicep.
Lightning zips through her and she slaps his hand away then turns to glare at him and demands, "Why can't you leave me alone? Why do you need to continue doing this?
"What is this?" he asks being oh so innocent. As if he is stupid enough to not know what she is talking about and she is stupid enough to buy his ignorant act.
She raises an eyebrow as she looks him in the eye and states, "Following me outside? The snide comments. You know exactly what I am talking about."
Instead of being honest Edward chooses to double down and steps closer as he states, "I am just enjoying the autumn air before it gets too cold for people to spend time outdoor."
Bella rolls her eyes and puts her hand up between them to stop him as she mutters, "Don't do this. Just don't. I am not stupid, you don't want to respect me at least respect my intelligence, so don't. Just leave me alone."
Edward sighs loudly and turns to face the street away from her and crosses his arms across his chest before stating, "I can't. I won't. Not when we share a daughter that you took away from me."
She eyes him with a side glance then returns her sight to the street and states, "We don't. Cece isn't yours. She was never yours and will never be. She doesn't even know you."
"And who's fault is that?"
"Were you to tell me that you are pregnant right now, I would tell you to have an abortion," she parrots what he told her years ago to him pausing for a second to swallow her pride before she continues, "You wanna know whose fault is that? You need to look no further than the mirror."
It's like she just slapped him in the face. No sentence he has uttered in anger, despair, or frustration, has come back to haunt him the way this sentence just did. Thing is, saying that then was the right thing. He still can't imagine how his life would have shaped to be had he been given the choice to have a kid. If she came back to him and told him that she is pregnant, he isn't sure he would have supported the pregnancy, but she is already born. Rejecting her is no longer an option.
"But I didn't know you were pregnant then. If I knew I, um I,", "What? I am really interested to know what you would have done because you have a stellar track record of reacting in the worst possible way and doing the most horrendous things," Bella cuts in getting louder.
He takes a deep breath then says, "It doesn't matter because,", "Because you made your choice then and I made mine, and now both of us need to live with the consequences. What's done is done," Bella cuts in for the second time. She is done with him. She is done with his talking. She is done with his arguments. She is done with justifications and excuses, done. He had his shot and screwed it, now anything he says doesn't matter.
A blanket of silence envelopes both of them. Both of them are battling waging wars inside them. Both of them are wondering to themselves when will this nightmare end. Each of them thinks of something different. She is wondering when she will be able to put all of this behind her and live in peace away from him and all of this. He is wondering when he will wake up from the nightmare he has been plunged in since she left him, but it's not a nightmare. It's reality, and every choice he makes right now will decide his future. This isn't just a war within him, it's the fight of his life, and he won't back down. He won't fall without a fight.
"It's not done. If it were done you wouldn't be this angry with me. You wouldn't hate my guts. Admit it, you still care and it kills you."
"I don't," she tells him stiffly refusing to meet his eyes. She can not meet his eyes. What flows of her lips smooth as butter refuses to pass through her eyes. He knows her enough to tell. He is the one who knows her the most. That is why he was so good at hurting her. He knew what buttons to push. That is why she will never go back to him; she isn't about to let her guards down around someone that has her manual.
That is why Marco is safe. The only way he could hurt her is by leaving her
"Then why are you still angry?" he states in the most frustrating way as if he has any right to judge her anger. Those words anger Bella so much and before she can stop herself, she is on a roll.
"Because I have the right to. After everything you did to me, I have the right to be angry. I still get nightmares from what you did to me. I can't sleep at night. You destroyed me. Do you have any idea how it feels when the person you love the most treats you like the least important person in his life? Do you know what its like to walk on eggshells wondering if today is the day he will snap and punch me? Do you have any idea what its like to have all of your friends think you are an idiot for loving someone that is so horrible to you? Do you have any idea what it feels like to blame yourself, think it's your fault, and wonder why you are not enough for this person to be good? I agonised over what I could do to help you move on from from discovering that your biological dad raped your mum, and you never cared. All you gave me was pain. You stabbed me, pinned me with the knife to the wall, tied my hand, refused to take the knife out or allow me to do that. You have refused me the chance of healing. All I have left is to hang off the wall and die little by little while you watch back and patronize me with speeches of my undying love for you. I should spend the rest of my life, punching you, day in and day out. That is what you deserve."
All throughout her speech she took a step after the other towards him and he took step back, and by the end of it, she has him pinned to the wall as she faces him with their noses close enough to touch.
"Do it," he whispers.
"What?" she asks unsure of what he is speaking about.
He takes her hand in his and rubs her knuckles with his thumb affectionately as he replies, "Punch me. We can set a time and everyday we will meet then and you will have your go at me."
"Don't be ridiculous," she mutters.
She rolls her eyes and moves her face to look away, but he holds her jaw gently with his other hand and moves it so she is looking at him then says, "No seriously. If this is what you need to forgive me, I will do it. If this is what it takes to have you in my life, I will do it. If this is all that I will have of you, I will take it. I love you."
She stares at him, really does piercing through his soul, and sees honesty but doesn't believe it. He has made promises to her before. She has seen honesty in his eyes only for him to go back on his promises. She doesn't think Edward has a problem with being honest. He has a problem with controlling his behavior and no amount of promises and honesty can fix that.
Seeing disbelief in her eyes, he says, "I still love you, Bella. I would drop everything and spend the rest of my life making it up to you if you would let me. I will always love you."
She wants to look away but knows that he will perceive it as weakness so she looks him in the eye as she states, "Don't. Just don't. Those rosy words might work on Tanya but I am not stupid."
"They aren't rosy words. It's the truth. What can I do to get you to believe them?"
Giving him a stony stare and shoving off the hand holding her jaw, she states, "Nothing. Nothing you do will make me believe you."
Looking down, he asks, "There is no hope?"
"You killed it before you stabbed me," she tells him continuing her metaphor as she drops the hand holding hers and crosses her arms across her chest.
He looks up at her in denial and says, "I refuse to believe that."
"You do you. I couldn't careless," she tells him then steps away.
He finds her moving away from him and mutters to himself, "I refuse to," before he pulls her back to him and kisses her.
Don't kill me over the cliffhanger. I will try to get the next chapter soon, but this chapter was uploaded earlier than scheduled, so I can't make any promises. This chapter was supposed to be updated tomorrow, my other story on Friday and the next chapter of this story on next Monday. When this will be uploaded is entirely dependent on when I update my other story.
IMPORTANT: In no way, shape or form, does this chapter shame people who choose to have an abortion. As a pro-choice person myself, it's important for everyone to understand that parenthood is a huge responsibility and a complex discussion to have. People's definition of what constitutes life vs soul differs. As a person in my early 20s, I can't imagine becoming a parent and would go with an abortion if I found myself pregnant.
Anti-choice rhetoric isn't welcome in my review section.
Tell me your thoughts in the review section.
Until my next update,
Stay Safe.