Wake up, Shido.
Shido's eyes opened up, slowly at first. His eyelids felt heavy, and his vision was so blurry he could hardly see even a foot in front of him. He groaned as he tried to rub the grogginess out of his eyes. Meanwhile, the back of his head ached with a dull pain. Where was he? Why was he here? What had he been doing?
He had been fighting. That was right. He had been fighting a huge Honkai beast, like a minotaur. Where was it? Was it dead? It had to be. He had nearly cleaved it in two with Halvanhelev. But something felt off. What was he forgetting? Something important, something that he desperately needed to remember. Then, as if struck by lightning, it hit him.
Ana.
"Ana!" Shido exclaimed. He shot to his feet in a moment, his heart racing as his eyes darted back and forth in search of the Valkyrie. But after a moment, panic turned to confusion as he found himself not in the snowy forest near Koyanskaya, but instead in a neatly organized hospital room standing on top of a hospital bed. His hand grasped at empty air, reaching for Sandalphon as if he were still in the middle of his battle. "…What…?" The young man muttered.
Ana was nowhere to be seen. Piece by piece, he put things back together, recalling what had happened. His final strike with Halvanhelev. The distant shapes approaching just as he lost consciousness. Those must have been Valkyries… which would mean this was Babylon II. Then that meant Ana was safe. He took a few deep breaths to calm his nerves, relief surging throughout his body.
He looked over the room once more to see if anyone else was present. Just him. Shakily, he sat back down on the bed as he massaged his aching temples, taking some time to let his adrenaline die down as he reflected.
He felt… annoyed. Frustrated. A single slip-up had nearly cost him and Ana's life. If only he had been stronger. If only he hadn't stepped on that damn branch. Of all the things that could have gone wrong, it had to be a mistake that simple. He cursed his weakness under his breath, before trying to shake away the dark thoughts that ate at the back of his mind. Yet, try as he might to push it away, the lingering sense of doubt continued to hang over his mind. He needed a distraction.
He took another deep breath, before idly turning his eyes toward his palm. '… They're back.' He thought after a moment. The powers he had thought lost with Mio had returned just when he needed them, but… why? He glanced over his back. Could it be the Stigmata? He supposed it wasn't out of the question, but… what connection would a Stigmata have to the Spirits? What about the others? Did they have their powers back too?
For a moment, he held a glimmer of hope that Mio had come back. But that hope was quickly dashed. There's no way Ratatoskr would have missed something like that. He rubbed at his temples as the aching in his head only seemed to grow worse. There wasn't even close to enough information right now. First and foremost, he needed to call Kotori. And for that, he needed his phone.
But before he could continue that train of thought, the sound of the room door sliding open caught his ear. He turned to the front of the room to see none other than Rita Rosseweise stepping inside, her eyes widening at the sight of Shido wide awake.
"Itsuka-sama?" She spoke, surprised. "You're finally awake."
"Oh, uh… good… afternoon?" Shido started, only to realize he didn't know the time. Rita smiled as she calmly answered him in turn.
"Good morning, Itsuka-sama. My apologies for entering without an announcement, but I had assumed you were still asleep."
"It's fine." Shido scratched the back of his head. "Speaking of which… how long have I been asleep?"
"Three days."
"T-Three—" Shido's eyes shot wide open just as the pain in the back of his head spiked up. With a groan, Shido clutched the back of his head with a pained expression. "Three days…?"
"Correct. You were left quite exhausted by your encounter with the Honkai beast. How are you feeling, Itsuka-sama?"
Shido forced a smile. "…Could be better. …Rita, is Ana—"
"Schariac-sama is still unconscious, I am afraid." Rita replied. For a moment, Shido could have sworn her expression flickered, but she carried on undisturbed. "But, her condition is stable. Do not worry, Shido. Ana will recover, in time."
Shido released a deep sigh of relief as the anxious feeling in his gut slowly faded away… but only so much. A glance at Rita's face told the young man that she wasn't finished just yet. Even worse, he could guess exactly what she wanted to talk about.
"Itsuka-sama." Shido flinched as Rita called out his name. "Ana is strong, even for an A-rank Valkyrie. If she were to put in the time and effort, I surmise she would reach S-rank in the next few years, or even sooner if fate would have it."
"Y-Yeah—"
"I have also known Ana for a very long time, only just under Durandal-sama. Her faults, her strengths, I know all of her skills very, very well."
"What are you—"
"And with all of that knowledge, I know with absolute certainty she does not have the skills, weapons, or power required to cleave an Emperor-class Honkai beast in half. But I happen to know of something—or someone—who can." Rita looked Shido directly in the eyes. "So… care to share, Itsuka-sama?"
"…I had a feeling that's what you were getting at." Shido sighed.
"Indeed. Durandal-sama has requested me to gather a report from you as soon as I can, at the soonest convenience. I do not mind returning when you are better rested, Itsuka-sama, but…" Rita smiled. "Just remember that you've never been a very good liar." She handed forward Shido's phone. "Now, your sister has been quite insistent on contacting you. I would prefer to not keep her waiting any longer, lest she attempts something… irrational." With that, Rita bowed her head, before turning and leaving Shido alone with his phone.
'That could have gone worse, I guess.' Shido thought with a mental sigh. He turned his attention to his phone as the screen flickered on. 'She's… not going to be very happy.' He shook his head. 'But waiting won't make it any better, at this point.' As a nervous sweat ran down the back of his neck, the young man dialed his sister's number with a queasy expression. It didn't take long to get an answer. "Kotori? It's—"
"Where the hell have you been, dumbass!?" Shido hastily pulled the phone away from his ear as Kotori's voice exploded out from the other side. "It's been three freaking days, why haven't you answered any of my calls!?"
"…" Shido grinned. Despite the circumstances, he couldn't deny that it was comforting to hear her voice again, angry as she was. "S-Sorry, Kotori. We… have a lot to talk about."
"Oh, do we now?" She replied, her voice dripping with sarcasm. Shido flinched at the sound of Kotori's harsh tone.
"I've been unconscious for three days, Kotori."
"I— What!? What happened!? Are you alright!? Was it Schicksal!? We can come and—"
"Where did you get that idea!?" Shido exclaimed. He shook his head once more. "No, Schicksal had nothing to do with it. But… It's a long story."
"I've got time. What happened? I wanna know everything."
"Right. Ok…" He took a deep breath before he began to explain what had happened to Kotori, starting with his and Ana's investigation in Koyanskaya, to his battle with the Honkai beast deep in the forest itself. His near-death experience, his powers returning, and his desperate attempt to save Ana. Kotori was silent throughout his explanation, listening to every word intently, only responding with a sharp breath or a concerned gasp every now and then. When he finally finished, Kotori couldn't help but let out an exasperated sigh.
"…Can we go more than a year without you nearly giving me a heart attack…?" Kotori groaned across the phone. "What would we have done if you had died out there!? If you didn't get lucky with your powers coming back!?" A frustrated sigh came over the phone as she finished speaking. Shido averted his eyes, unable to deny her words. He had already thought quite a bit about those possibilities himself. "… How are you now? Are you hurt?"
"No, just tired. Ana…" Shido paused. "She's still unconscious. Rita said she'll be fine, but…"
"Shido. If that maid said she'll be fine, she'll be fine. As much as I hate to admit it, she's smart like that. But right now, there's something else we need to talk about."
"The Spirit Powers…"
"Exactly. But, there's more to it than just your end."
"What do you mean—" Shido's eyes shot open. "Did you all…!?"
"Yeah. Well, sort of. The Spirit Power is back, but, for whatever it's worth, the seals you put on everyone are still in place. In other words, we got lucky. But… there's something else, as well."
"What is it?"
"That mark you said appeared on your back. What was it called again?"
"Mark… the Stigmata?"
"That! I don't know how or why, but… each and every one of us have an identical Stigmata. None of us know when it first appeared, or what the catalyst even was. Kaguya found out first." He could hear Kotori chuckle over the phone. "To say she was excited is an understatement." Shido shared in his sister's mirth, smiling at the thought of Kaguya's reaction. "Anyways, we've looked into it, but everything has come up empty. Our equipment just isn't made to study 'Honkai energy' or whatever the heck it's called. Woodman contacted Schicksal to see if we could purchase some better equipment, but until then, we're stumbling in the dark."
"Should I ask Durandal and Rita about it?" Shido glanced at the doorway as he said this.
"Hold off for now. We want to see if we can't figure this out without Schicksal's help, first." Kotori paused. "…W-well. B-Beyond that purchase. But they don't need to know that!" Shido found himself grinning at Kotori's embarrassed response. As if she could just imagine his response, Kotori loosed a heavy sigh.
"…Alright," Shido replied. "What should I tell them, then?"
"That's easy. Be honest. It's not like you know what's going on, not to mention you're a terrible liar." Shido narrowed his eyes at that. "They already know about us Spirits and Ratatoskr, so it's not like there's much to hide anyways. Just don't mention this whole Stigmata incident."
Shido nodded. "Ok. I'll do that." He paused. "Are you with everyone else right now?"
"No, I'm on the Fraxinus. Right now. Everyone else is either at school or busy." He could hear her sigh over the phone.
"...Why aren't you at school?"
"Geh…! A-ahem. I had important business to attend to today, obviously!" Shido narrowed his eyes once more. After a moment, he decided not to push it. He could always ask Maria later.
"A-anyways!" Kotori exclaimed, changing the topic. "As much as I want to keep talking, I am busy. I'll let everyone else know you're safe and get them together for tonight's call. And… I'm glad you're safe, Nii-chan. You better not miss tonight's call, or you'll be sorry!"
Before Shido could respond, Kotori hung up, leaving Shido alone in the room. 'That girl…' He couldn't help but think. '…Am I really that bad at lying…?' He shook his head and stood to his feet. 'Whatever. I guess I may as well get this over with.' Though his headache refused to dissipate, Shido boldly made his way towards the door as he made his way out of the room. Outside, the halls were empty all the way down each end, making the trip to Durandal's office a cold and lonely one indeed.
It took him longer than he'd like to admit to reach his destination, but in time, he came to a stop outside the door. Inside, he could hear the two S-rank Valkyries inside discussing something, though their voices were too muffled for him to tell exactly what. With a shrug, he stepped through as the door slid open to reveal Rita standing in front of Durandal's desk. At the same time, the two Valkyries fell silent as they turned to him.
"Shido… you're here," Durandal spoke after a few moments, surprised. "Rita told me you only just woke up. You should still be resting." Her voice was stern as Rita nodded in agreement, her own expression equally surprised at his unexpected appearance.
"Probably," Shido replied with a dry grin. "But I think it's better for all of us to just get this over with." He took a seat as the two Valkyries shared a glance. "Where should I start?" Durandal looked Shido in the eyes for a long moment before taking a deep breath.
"From the beginning. What happened? Why were you and Ana split off from your team?" Shido nodded and began the story over once again. He spoke for a while, covering everything as he had done before… only to pause at the memory of his fight with the Honkai beast.
"…Durandal." On a whim, he decided to ask the blonde Valkyrie a question. "This… may come across as a weird question, but… do you know what 'Spirits' are?" Rita tilted her head curiously at his words as Durandal raised an eyebrow.
"I presume you don't mean the ghostly kind, correct?" Shido held back a laugh at that.
"He does not, Durandal-Sama." Rita spoke before Shido could answer. "It is a long story. I shall provide you with the full report later. For now, it is best summarized as an integral part of Itsuka-sama's history before Schicksal." Durandal glanced at Rita curiously before turning back to Shido.
"Why do you bring this up now, Shido?"
"W-Well…" Shido continued his story, explaining his battle with the Honkai beast… and both of his near-death situations. Throughout Shido's retelling, Durandal's expression grew more curious, more thoughtful as she looked at Shido in a new light. As Shido finished his report, Durandal raised a hand to her chin, pondering his words.
"So… Put simply, Shido…" She began. "You have abilities taken from superpowered beings, which manifest in the forms of weapons, which can also increase your physical strength and endurance to beyond even superhuman levels?"
"…Simply is an understatement…" Shido muttered. "…but yeah, that's the gist of it."
"And it was with these weapons that you bested Asterios?"
"…Asterios?"
"Oh. I suppose you wouldn't know. Asterios is the designation we've given that particular Emperor-class, after the Greek myth. I presume you know the tale of the Minotaur?" Shido nodded.
"…Of course, it would be difficult to tell the resemblance after Durandal-sama was finished with it." Rita added with a sly smile. "I quite vividly remember Elise describing your arrival as akin to a 'steam train barrelling through that poor critter.'" Durandal's cheeks flushed a light shade of pink at Rita's words.
"I simply made an on-the-spot judgment to protect my fellow Valkyries." Durandal replied with a hint of indignation, earning a quiet chuckle from the maid Valkyrie beside her. Shido furrowed his brows.
"What do you mean? I beat it, didn't I?" He asked. Durandal and Rita shared a glance.
"Asterios was still standing when I arrived." Durandal explained. Shido's eyes shot wide open. But, just as he was about to speak, Durandal raised a hand. "In truth, I doubt I even needed to act. The Honkai beast could hardly walk, much less do any damage."
"But—"
"Shido. You need not worry." Durandal smiled gently at him. "At that point, neither you nor Ana were in any danger. I promise." Shido frowned, but slowly nodded his head. Durandal cleared her throat before continuing. "Anyways. This… 'Spirit Power' of yours… you have no inkling as to how or why it returned?" Shido nodded. Durandal nodded back enthusiastically, a strange glimmer in her eyes as her smile widened. Both Shido and Rita gave the blonde Valkyrie a strange look as Durandal clasped her hands together.
"Go into detail. What are they all capable of?" She asked. Shido tilted his head curiously.
'… I probably shouldn't tell her everything.' He didn't like the idea of Schicksal trying to get their hands on Rasiel or Zaphkiel. He glanced at Rita, who remained silent as she studied Shido, her eyes like a hawk. Did he take that gamble, Shido wondered. Meanwhile, Durandal's eyes seemed to only shine brighter the longer he waited.
He reluctantly began to explain their abilities, describing each of his Angels with a brief summary. She listened to his words with great interest, catching Shido off guard with her apparent investment. To his surprise, Rita made no comment of his failure to mention the two aforementioned Angels. When he finally finished, Durandal's smile was almost ear to ear, her eyes almost shining.
"Again and again you manage to surprise me, Shido." Durandal spoke, earning a slight blush from the young man. "I have one last question. While clearly you know their capabilities, how well can you utilize these 'Angels?' Were you self-taught, or did you learn from the Spirits?"
"Uh… something like that. I can use all of them, but… I'm not fantastic at it." Shido sighed. "It definitely showed in my fight with… 'Asterios.'"
"Very well. That's everything I need to know." Durandal stood up from her desk, beaming down at the young man. "Shido Itsuka. From this point forward, and for the remainder of your stay with the Immortal Blades, I shall take you on as my student. I will train you how to fight, and how to make the best use of each of the Angels within your repertoire. The training will be harsh, difficult, relentless, and I even more so. You'll rarely have the chance to rest, just enough to eat, drink, and sleep. You are, of course, welcome to say no if you wish it, or if you believe yourself incapable. Though it would be… disappointing, I would understand entirely." Durandal crossed her arms. "If you do choose to accept, then we will start at the earliest convenience. By the time I am finished with you, Shido Itsuka, if you have not mastered your abilities, you at the very least will be a far more capable fighter than you ever were before. But this requires effort and dedication on your end as well: I cannot teach someone who is not willing to learn."
"So, Shido Itsuka… do you accept?"
Shido gulped as a cold sweat ran down the back of his neck. He had to admit, nearly an entire month of hardcore training sounded terrifying, to put it mildly. And seeing what Durandal considered light training? Shido had to repress a shudder at the thought. And yet…
He nearly died against Asterios. If he had been stronger, better, faster. If he could have used his Angels just a little better, such as Metatron or Michael. Then…
Then maybe Ana wouldn't have had to sacrifice herself for his sake.
Shido clenched his fists. Without a word, he shot to his feet and met Durandal's stern gaze with a fierce look of his own. Something told him she knew his answer before she had even started talking. But it didn't matter. His heart was set ablaze
"Of course!"
One Week Later…
After that meeting, Durandal dragged Shido back to the medical facility despite his complaints, forcing him to rest. After that, their training began almost immediately, starting that very next morning. Shido had expected the worst, put simply, he hadn't set his expectations low enough.
Day after day, he was forced through multiple types of endurance training, strength training, mental training, and more. Every part of his body was pushed to its limits, to the point Shido could have sworn even a few bones broke. Durandal hadn't lied about having few breaks, either. Put simply, it took all the effort he could muster to stay awake long enough to send a call back home that first day.
The second day was even worse as yesterday's efforts weighed heavily upon his body. His joints ached and his muscles burned even with Spirit Power running through his veins, to the point it was a struggle to even walk. Durandal did not seem to care, however, as she continued to push him harder and harder with each passing day.
On the fifth day, the real training began. Though they would continue the same training, they began to focus the majority of their time on improving Shido's skill with his Angels. The young man was thankful to hear that they would be starting with the Angel he knew best: Sandalphon. In the first spar, Shido felt a smidgen of confidence. With Sandalphon in hand, he was certain could match Durandal, even if it was only for a short time. He soon learned that overconfidence was an insidious killer no matter the speed.
The first battle lasted hardly a few moments before Shido was sent flying by a barehanded Durandal. And then again. And again. And again. Over and over they sparred as Durandal tested him, finding each of his weaknesses and exploiting them relentlessly. He went to bed that night beaten and bruised, physically and mentally.
The next day, they changed pace, switching from the Angel Shido was most confident in, to the least: Michael. As the first spar began, Shido took note of the fact that Durandal was holding back greatly in comparison to the previous day. She studied his movements carefully watching every small slip up with patient eyes.
"You're tunnel-visioned, Shido." She said after the fourth spar. "It was the same with the broadsword. You set your eyes on me and pay little attention to the battlefield at large. Your abilities are unique and varied in their application. Stop using them as a way to attack and defend. The battlefield is a canvas, and your Angels are your tools. Start thinking outside of the box, and use them to control the flow of the fight. While I am your target, I am not the entire picture. Widen your vision, and everything will start to become more clear."
Shido took her words to heart but it was far easier said than done.
Nonetheless, he applied her words as best he could to Michael… and, to his surprise, just nearly managed to trip the Valkyrie with an unexpected portal beneath her.
Almost. Of course, this was her holding back, and even still she was undeterred by his trick, delivering a sound beating upon him a few moments later. Still, that was more progress than he had made the previous day with Sandalphon. That small victory was all the motivation the young man needed. After that, he found himself even looking forward to future training sessions, much to Durandal's delight.
But, on the seventh day…
"Good morning, Shido." Durandal greeted the young man as he made his way into the simulated training hall. A massive circular room rimmed from top to bottom with fancy machinery, it was capable of simulating any environment or opponent for the sake of training. While he had seen similar technology in his time with Ratatoskr, it was no less incredible now as it was with them. "Did you sleep well, Shido?" Durandal asked.
"It could have been worse." He said, rubbing his stomach as he did. While Camael had long healed the damage, the aching feeling in his body still remained. Whether it was indicative of actual damage or simply his mind playing tricks on him, Shido could not say. Durandal chuckled at his words as Shido glanced around the room. "What are we working on today?"
"With Sandalphon, I tested your skill. With Michael, I tested your strategy. Now, I want to test your agility. Raphael, I believe you called it—" Durandal paused, her eyes shifting to something behind him. Shido followed her gaze, turning around to see a Valkyrie dressed in a nurse's outfit making her way inside.
"Am I interrupting, Captain?" The nurse asked as she came to a stop beside Shido.
"No, not at all. What do you need?" Durandal replied, tilting her head.
"… Ana Schariac has awakened from her coma." The nurse said after a moment. Shido shot to attention as Durandal's eyes shot open.
"She's awake? Then—" Durandal started, only for the nurse to raise her hand.
"One moment, Captain." The nurse said. "She had an immediate request upon waking. She wishes to speak to Shido Itsuka alone, at his earliest convenience." The nurse glanced at Shido
"…Me?" Shido replied, surprised. The nurse nodded. Shido looked at her with wide eyes, before turning to Durandal.
"I'll allow it." Durandal said with a nod. "Training can wait, Shido. If Ana wants to talk to you so soon, then it must be important. Go on." Shido stared at her for a moment longer, before giving a grateful nod. Durandal replied with a slight smile before turning back to the nurse "Please show Shido to Ana's room immediately."
"Of course, Commander." The nurse said, bowing her head before turning to Shido. "Follow me." Shido nodded and did just that, stepping into place beside the nurse as they made their way to the medical facility. It took some time before they arrived, where they stopped in front of a room numbered 28. "In here. Ms. Schariac has just woken from her coma not long ago, so please be patient if she seems a bit confused. If you need anything, please give us a call, and we will provide to the best of our ability."
"Uh… Y-Yeah. Thank you." Shido nodded his thanks, nervous at the prospect of seeing Ana. He hadn't had a chance to visit her the past week. He had no idea what to expect. He simply hoped that she was in good condition. Cautiously, Shido stepped into the room.
There she lay, awake and covered in bandages, medical equipment on both sides of the bed. Slowly, she turned her head towards the doorway… and smiled.
"…S-Shido… You came." Her voice was quiet and weak. Shido stepped inside the room and shut the door behind him as Ana continued. "…I look… pretty terrible right now, huh?"
"Ana…" His hands trembled at the sight of her, relief filling his heart. All at once, it felt like a heavy weight was lifted off his back as he laid eyes on the injured but living Valkyrie before him. "I'm glad you're alright." His voice quivered for just a moment, but only a moment.
"…Hehe… Same to you, Shido." Ana rested her head back against her pillow as Shido took a seat beside her bed. "…How long have I been out? The nurses didn't tell me…"
"I was out for three days, so… about ten days, I think."
"Ugh… that's so long…"
"How long were you expecting…?"
"Good question." Ana giggled for a moment, only for silence to fill the room a moment later.
"So… how are you feeling, Ana?" Shido asked
"…Not great. I can hardly move… but I don't think that's a surprise. …What have I missed? You look just about as bad as I feel."
"Ah." Shido grinned, slightly averting his eyes in response. "I've been training with Durandal."
"…Eh?"
"She's been ruthless… even Kotori never worked me as hard as she has." Shido paused for a moment. "…But if I had to choose, I'd take Durandal's training any day of the week." He shuddered at the thought, unpleasant memories filling his mind.
"…You really are incredible, Shido." Ana said with wide eyes. Shido's cheeks flushed at the compliment as Ana continued. "I mean it. You beat an Emperor-class, you're training with Durandal, you even have a Stigmata!" Ana smiled wryly. "…I'm almost jealous of you."
"Haha…" Shido scratched the back of his head, caught off guard by the series of compliments. "I'm not as great as you think."
"…I don't see why not."
"…Because—"
"…None of that!" Shido flinched as Ana raised her voice, the girl's cheeks puffing up for a second time. "Sheesh… it's just the two of us. You can show off at least a bit~"
"Just what kind of guy do you think I am…?" Ana giggled at his deadpan reaction, earning a sigh from Shido. But as her laughter slowly died down, Shido noticed her expression turned more serious, darker, as she turned away. "…Is something wrong, Ana?"
"…"
"…Ana?"
"Shido. There was a reason I wanted to talk to you. More than just… this."
"…" Shido remained silent as Ana turned back to him with a stone-faced expression, any remnant of emotion all but gone from her face.
"…I nearly died that day." She started. "Without you, I would have. My life flashed before my eyes. When I was laying on the ground, hardly conscious, I saw everything all over again." Ana turned her eyes up to the ceiling, her expression distant. "…There's so much regret in my life, Shido. So much I've done wrong. So many mistakes." Her hands were pale white as she tightly gripped her covers. "…I decided I need to tell someone. I've kept so much secret for so long. The only ones I ever thought about telling were Bianka and Rita, but… I could never muster the courage to tell them the full story. " She turned her eyes to Shido. "But for some reason… I want to tell you. Maybe it was the way you comforted me that night. Maybe it was because you saved my life twice over. I don't know. But I've decided if I tell anyone, it has to be you." She turned back to Shido, her eyes damp.
"Would you listen, Shido? At least for a while?"
For a moment, Shido didn't respond as he contemplated her words.
And then, he smiled. A gentle, warm smile, that, for a moment, comforted the girl before him. "…Of course, Ana." Ana smiled at his words for just a brief moment, before her expression turned solemn once more. "Whenever you're ready." She nodded as the room grew silent. Shido waited patiently as Ana collected herself, preparing herself for what was about to come.
"… It was in Manila." She finally began. "That was the day I realized what a failure I really was." Shido's gaze softened as Ana began. "My squad had been on deployment when the Honkai incident began. We set out almost immediately. I remember how excited I had been to get my first proper mission. Everyone had been so casual, so confident. It was just gonna be a quick extermination mission, nothing more. And, to be honest, things started well. Just a few Honkai beasts. Nothing we couldn't handle…" Ana's eyes darkened as she lifted her right hand.
"Cassidy was the first to go. Decapitated by a zombie in a single swing of its scythe." She slid a finger across her throat in a single, quick motion. "I still remember the feeling of her blood splashing against my face." Shido's eyes widened as Ana continued. "Next was Kelly, and then Zenadaya. Crushed to death by a pair of Chariot classes. Crunch. Splat. Mel, swarmed and torn to pieces by a dozen Seraph classes. She screamed for so long."
"…Ana…" Shido raised his hand to comfort her, but Ana pulled away.
"Before I knew it, I was running. Faster than I ever had before in my life." Her voice began to tremble. "On my right, a man being swarmed by his zombified family, tearing him to pieces as he cried out their names. On my left, screaming voices from inside of a collapsing building. A crying child, calling out for her mother as she was run down by a Knight-class Honkai beast. And what did I do, Shido?"
"…"
"I kept running. I never even looked back. 'Someone help me. Someone save me.' Me. Me. I was supposed to be the one saving these people. Instead, I left them all to die, just like I left Snow Lotus squad. That's all useless old Ana could ever think about as she ran through that city, ignoring all the cries for help. No one but myself."
Shido opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. He opened it again, and closed it again. He had no idea what he could even say. Ana continued without pause.
"Just as I was about to leave the city behind entirely, I stopped. What I was doing finally began to hit me. All the people I had left behind… my squad… I broke down on the spot. I threw up more than once. I might throw up now just remembering it… I didn't know what to do. 'I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry…' I began repeating those useless words like some kind of mantra. But then… Maybe my training finally kicked in. Maybe it was some sense of obligation, or… something. Either way, my body started moving before I realized it. I had sent the call out to anyone listening that we needed help, that I was the only surviving Valkyrie… and then, turned around and started running back in."
"All those people left behind because I had been a coward. What good would it do turning back at that point? And yet, I turned around anyway… I started looking for anyone who might still be alive. I… For a while, all I found were bodies. For a while, I thought there was no one left to save. Until I heard the voice of someone calling out for help. For a moment, I thought I could at least act like the hero I was supposed to be." Ana gripped the blanket so tightly the fragile material began to tear. "I made my way down to where she was… and found her half-buried in the rubble. A little girl with short gray hair and blue eyes, a small pink teddy bear torn up beside her. I nearly threw up again as she looked at me with such hopeful eyes. Someone had heard her cries. Someone had come to save the day… But I couldn't. Her entire lower body was crushed, pulverized under the rubble. It was a miracle she was even still alive when I got there."
"'I'm sorry…'. Those were the only words I could force out of my wretched mouth. I couldn't save her… and yet, as she looked at me in terror, her eyes pleading for me to save her, I wonder…"
"If I had never run away in the first place… Could I have made it in time to save her?"
She shook her head. "She kept pleading with me as I turned away. I couldn't even tell her why. Couldn't put her out of her misery. I couldn't even wait beside her till the end… All I could do was run away. I kept running. Kept looking. I avoided some Honkai beasts, fought some others. I was just about to give up hope, really." She shaped her hand into the shape of a gun and placed it against the temple of her head. Wordlessly, she fired the imaginary bullet, a sickening smile upon her lips as she imagined the bullet tearing through her head. "But I didn't. I kept looking. Kept searching. And then… I found him."
Ana smiled. Not the sickening smile from before, ripe with self-hatred, but instead… a genuine smile. A joyful smile, filled with life.
"Tianwu Chen." She spoke the name softly, lovingly. "He was buried underneath the rubble from a fallen building. You could hardly see him underneath it all. But by that point, I was desperate. Before I knew it, I began tossing aside concrete and rebar alike, digging away towards him as fast as I possibly could with all my superhuman strength. I begged and pleaded with him as I dug, begging him to not die… to not leave me alone. And when I finally tossed aside the last chunk of rubble, there he was. Dirty. Injured. But alive. I nearly broke into tears on the spot… but I held it in as I pulled him out from the rubble. He could hardly walk, so we had to be careful; if any Honkai beasts had seen us, we probably would have both been killed at that point. We talked. Not about how hopeless things were, but instead… Of what would come after. Of what we would do if we survived." Ana's expression lit up as she recalled another memory.
"I remember him describing it like a zombie movie. Hehe… I remember yelling at him for that. I've… always hated zombies, and the fact that people made movies about them…" Ana shook her head. "And he laughed at me for it! And I… began to laugh with him. It was… terrific, wonderful. To laugh in the middle of hell… I guess the best word is surreal. Eventually, we came to a stop, and that was when he told me his name. Tianwu Chen. I engraved his name into my heart… and gave him part of mine." She turned her eyes towards a necklace on the bedside table beside her. It was a simple chain, with half of an elaborate blue heart hanging from it. "Sometimes, I wonder if he still has it. If he remembers me. It wasn't much longer until help had finally arrived. My fellow Valkyries. Just like that, we had hope. A chance to survive, if we could only reach Schicksal's evacuation site. Tianwu forced himself to his feet, and we began to move."
"It was the most dangerous part of our journey together. Tianwu was only growing more exhausted as time went on, and the Honkai beasts only kept appearing in greater numbers. But we persevered. Together, by pushing each other forward step by step, we finally made it to the evacuation site. As medics came and took Tianwu, I stayed by his side every step of the way."
Ana's smile disappeared as she grew still. For a long while, she said nothing. Shido remained silent, still processing what he was told as he waited for Ana to continue. After what felt like an eternity, Ana slowly turned to Shido.
Her eyes were empty. Completely and utterly devoid of any emotion. It was an expression he had once seen on Origami's face. A face he never wanted to see again.
The face of despair.
"He had… a little sister, Shido. Named Tianwen. He told me that. That he and his family had been split up. He knew his parents were dead… but he didn't know if his little sister was still alive. He looked at me, Shido, and asked me to find her. I asked him to describe her to me, and that I would do my best. Do you want to know how he described her, Shido?"
Shido said nothing.
"…A little girl with short, gray hair, and blue eyes. She always carried around a little pink teddy bear." Tears began to flow from Ana's eyes. Like a dam breaking loose, she broke down into a sobbing mess as she buried her hands into her palms, unable to even look at Shido as the young man looked on in horror.
"Ana… I…" Shido began, but he struggled to find the words. He could only think… how would he react if it had been him and Kotori in their place? What could he say to the woman who could have saved his little sister, but didn't? He could hardly stomach the mere thought of it. He felt… cold.
And yet… before he knew it, he found himself embracing the broken Valkyrie in front of him. He hadn't even realized he had done so at first. She resisted for a few moments, tried to pull away, tried to hide away from anything and everything as she drowned in her sorrow. But Shido persisted. In time, Ana found herself sobbing into his chest as Shido gently rubbed her back.
"I'm sorry." Shido muttered into her ear. "You've been through so much. I'm here for you, Ana." He hugged her just a bit tighter as he spoke, and she accepted. They sat like that for a while as Ana let loose all her sorrow into Shido's chest, dampening his shirt with her tears. Countless seconds passed, yet Shido did not budge from his place.
How much time exactly passed before Ana pulled away, Shido didn't know. It was even longer before Ana spoke again. Shido waited patiently for whatever came next, ready to help Ana no matter what came out of her mouth next.
"… When I heard this, Shido…" Her voice was barely a whisper, quivering as she struggled to speak past her sobs. "…I apologized, and turned away. I never looked back. I couldn't look back. I don't know if he ever learned the truth. If he did, he probably hates me now… And how could I ever blame him, when I hate myself just as much?" Ana turned away before he could respond. "Shido… Thank you. For listening. For letting me burden you again." She had never looked so small before, Shido thought. "You can hate me too if you want. I wouldn't—"
"I don't hate you, Ana."
"…!"
Shido's response was immediate, catching Ana off guard. She turned towards Shido as it was now his turn to speak.
"I don't hate you. I'm… still processing half of what you told me, but…" Shido took a deep breath. "But I can't bring myself to hate you."
"…"
"Yes, you may have run. Yes, you… left people behind. And I don't know if I could say the same if I was in Tianwu's place. But…" Shido paused. "You turned back. You called for help, and you saved someone's life."
"So what!?" Ana shot up with a sudden passion, raising her voice far louder than she had been since Shido entered the room. "I could have saved more if I had never run in the first place! It would have been better if I just died there with Squad Snow Lotus!"
"If you had died, Ana, who would have called for help?" Shido replied, unphased by her anger. "And what would have happened then? More people would have died. Maybe everyone in Manila would have. If you had stayed to fight, who would have saved Tianwu? If you had died then, Ana… Who would have saved me from that Honkai beast?"
"… Another Valkyrie. Someone stronger than me, someone smarter, faster, someone who wouldn't have let you get hurt at all!"
"And who would that be?"
"I don't know! I don't know, alright!?" Ana exclaimed, covering her face with her hands. Shido's gaze softened. He placed a hand on her shoulder, gently squeezing it as he leaned forward.
"You've been through so much. You've stayed strong for so long. How could I ever hate you for that, Ana?"
"…It was his sister, Shido…" Ana muttered as she let her hands drop. "It was his sister… how can I ever look him in the eyes again, Shido?"
"…That's a question I can't answer for you, Ana. But…" Shido paused. "If I were in his shoes, I'd want to know the truth. I wouldn't want to be left wondering what happened to Kotori. Maybe he'll hate you for it. Maybe he won't. But… it's the least you could do for him, Ana."
"… I… I haven't heard from him ever since. How can I tell him then…?"
"I can't answer that either, Ana." Shido replied. "But… I think that, if you try, then one day you'll get the chance to tell him. I think it's the best you could do for both Tianwu and for yourself. You've never given yourself the chance to forgive yourself, to move on, and let your wounds heal. I think, by telling Tianwu, you can take the first step towards that."
Ana didn't respond. Shido once more waited patiently for whatever came next. Once more, they found themselves sitting in silence as time slowly ticked on second by second.
"…I'll try." Shido barely heard her words, but it was enough. He squeezed her shoulder once more, a gentle smile on his face as Ana slowly turned up to him.
"… S-Shido… Thank you…"
"Of course. It's the least I could do."
"… I'd like some time alone, now." Shido nodded and stood to his feet.
"I'll be around." He told her, before turning towards the door. "…Take care of yourself, Ana."
"…Mm." Came her lone response. Shido stepped out through the door and closed it behind him, letting out a deep sigh, letting out all the tension in his body. To say he had been unprepared for that conversation was an understatement. He had no idea if Ana really took his words to heart. He could only trust that he was able to help. 'Guess it's time to head back to Durandal.' The young man thought. He smacked his cheeks to clear his head, before brazenly stepping forwards…
Or so he had planned, only to find the Strongest Valkyrie herself standing before him, with Rita standing beside her. Shido nearly tripped over himself in surprise. Durandal reacted quickly, stepping forward and stabilizing him with an amused smile. Her amusement only lasted a short moment, however, as she took on a more concerned expression.
"Shido. You look tired. What did she want to talk about?" She asked.
"…I don't think she'd appreciate me sharing." Shido replied with a dry smile.
"Ah, that's not what I meant—"
"She… had something important that she needed to get off her chest." Shido explained as vaguely as he could. Behind Durandal, Rita gave a quick nod of understanding.
"… I see." Durandal replied. "Very well. How was she doing?"
"Aching, but alive."
"That's not what I meant."
"… I don't know." Shido replied with a sigh. "To be honest, I was… caught off guard with what she told me. But…" Shido looked back at the door behind him, a thoughtful glint in his eye as he turned back to Durandal.
"I think things will be alright."
Author's Notes:
First and foremost, Merry Christmas everyone! Whether you celebrate the holiday or not, I wish you the best no matter who you are or where you are from.
Second, I'm not dead! Covid hasn't gotten to me just yet, thankfully. The delay this time came from a variety of reasons, however. IRL stuff, school, work, and a healthy dose of writer's block does that to a guy, but here it finally is at last! I hope it was worth the wait.
And thirdly, things should finally start going back to the usual schedule, though I'm not gonna say anything for certain. But something I will promise! This story will last a long time-unless I die, of course-even if it has a few big pauses in between. And if it does come to an end, I'll make sure to make an announcement rather than just letting this project die!
And with that, I will see you all next time! I hope you have a wonderful day! :D