I don't own twilight. What I own is my character's behavior, personality, background, and plot of the story.
Please read the author's note at the end for the trigger warning.
"What the fuck were you think?" Thunders in the small space between them. It takes him a minute to realize that it is him.
He is in a car with Bella. From her haircut, he figures out that it's from before Bella left. Is it a nightmare or a flashback? He isn't sure.
"I tried to get him to leave me alone, but he wouldn't listen," Bella whispers.
"You should have tried harder," he screams out loud as the car swerves to the side before he steadies it. He tries to drive more carefully, but realizes that he isn't in control. His dream self is.
"Just please stop and let me drive baby. You're drunk," she pleads taking the hand not holding the wheel in hers.
He shoves away her hands and says, "Don't change the subject."
"I am not. Just please let me do the driving. You are scaring me," she begs at the end. Dread fills Edward. He knows how things like this end. He knows how he behaves when he is in one of those moods. The best way to deal with him would be to ignore him until he calms down. Problem is, Bella doesn't have that luxury as his driving is endangering her.
"You better be scared. You think I am okay with being cheated on," he screams. Edward feels like he is watching a train wreck slowly but is in no position to do anything about it despite holding the driving wheel.
"Babe just please, please stop. You can be as angry at me as you want to, just stop the car please," she cries out letting his accusations slide.
"God damn it. Listen to what I am talking about and answer my question," he screams then punches the steering wheel.
By this point Bella is in tears as she begs him another time to listen, "I will listen and I will answer. I will do anything you want. Just let me drive. Please. I am scared. I don't want to die."
He turns to glare at and tells her, "Don't be dramatic. You won't," but his words are cut off by her screaming, "Watch out."
Edward turns to the road and presses the brake, but it is too late and something collides with the car.
For a moment both of them are silent, frozen in shock then Bella lets out a quiet whimper and whispers, "Oh my God. What have you done?"
She looks at him in shock, fear, and despair. A single lone tear trails down his left cheek.
It's like a switch is flipped. Edward realizes what he has done. He quickly scrambles out of the car and runs to the front to see what happened. He finds a white man that looks to be in his late twenties or early thirties with one of his legs bent at a wrong angle and a gash in his forehead.
As if scared that the man will bite him, Edward slowly bends down to feel the pulse of the man. He doesn't find one. He moves backward and in his hurry trips over himself and falls on his back. For a moment the heavy rain hammers into his head, until the man whimpers.
Edward cries out but the sound gets trapped by his muddy hands. He scrambles to his feet. He needs to do something, but he can't seem to think straight. All his thoughts are jumbled around. Every thought in his head is too loud and jumping out of his reach.
He turns around and runs into Bella who was standing behind him. "I don't know what to do," he sniffles quietly to her.
She nods her head and raises her arms to rest on his shoulders before telling him, "Is he alive?"
"There is no pulse but he was moaning," Edward replies stuttering multiple times in the process.
Bella nods her head and is silent for a moment before she tells him, "I need you to go to the car and take the passenger seat."
He shakes his head as he tells her, "But what about the man?"
"I will handle it," she tells him with a blank expression on her face.
"What will you do?" he asks.
"You will see. Now go," she orders him sternly. He nods his head and walks to the car his knees shaking from the sheer fear he is feeling.
He watches as Bella makes a phone call that lasts less than a minute before dragging the man off the road and propping him up with his back to a huge tree that shades him from the rain. Once done, she runs back to the car and hops into the driver seat then drives off like she has the devil on her heels.
After 10 minutes of silence occasionally interrupted by his sniffles, Edward opens his mouth to speak but is shut by Bella who tells him, "Don't just don't. I don't care to know how much sorry you are and how you did not mean it. I want to drive in silence."
He finally has the courage to look at her. He shrinks into the side of the car at the glare she levels him with. He wraps his arms around himself and stares out of the window as tears roll down his face.
He let's out a gasp as he opens his eyes and springs up. He looks around his room as he tries to make sense of what he just saw. Despite the headache, he gets out of his bed and starts pacing in front of it as he debates with himself.
It was just a dream.
The egotistical part of him keeps insisting that it's a dream, but a part of him refuses that idea. The dream was too real. The colors were too vivid. He is still overwhelmed by the torturous emotions he lived through. He is feeling the anger that could smash mountains. He is feeling the fear that hunches his shoulders and makes him want to hide under his blanket. And God, oh God is he feeling the full guilt and absolute terror he feels over what he did. It can't be a dream.
Those feelings are too real to be just a dream.
"Oh my God. What have I done?" he says out loud.
"Have I killed someone," he mutters before he slaps his hands on his mouth afraid that someone is listening. He slowly falls on his bed as he tries to hold the strange sound he is making. His cheeks are wet and the noises coming out of him sound alien to him and no matter how hard he presses his hands against his mouth, he can't make them disappear.
They just keep getting louder and louder.
His shoulders shake as he falls to his side and his hands fall to his side. He is bowling out loud and screaming, but it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter if he causes disturbance in the building. It doesn't matter if people find out that he is crying. It doesn't matter if people judge him.
Nothing matters anymore.
Nothing in life ever matters.
If you take the life of someone, does anything you do in your life matter?
YOU KILLED SOMEONE.
He screams out as his thoughts echo in his head and keep getting louder and louder until they are the only thing he hears.
He is a murderer. He murdered someone. He took an innocent person's life. He ended someone. He took someone's life into his own hands and smashed it. What did he do?
He slowly comes to the realization that someone is patting his back. He tries hard to hear what that person is saying.
"It's okay. Whatever happened can't be that bad." He slowly realizes that it's Seth speaking. He finds it hard, but he pulls himself up nonetheless and uprights himself into a sitting position. He slows down his breathing and quiets down.
"You feel better?" Seth asks. Wrong question. He will never feel better. Nothing in life will ever feel better. He shakes his head.
"Do you wanna talk about it?" Seth asks as he continues to rub his back.
Edward shakes his head again as he stares into space. How could he have done that? What was wrong with him? What was he thinking? He drove drunk and killed someone.
I DROVE DRUNK AND KILLED SOMEONE. I DROVE DRUNK AND KILLED SOMEONE. I DROVE DRUNK AND KILLED SOMEONE. I DROVE DRUNK AND KILLED SOMEONE. I DROVE DRUNK AND KILLED SOMEONE. I DROVE DRUNK AND KILLED SOMEONE. I DROVE DRUNK AND KILLED SOMEONE.
Those words hunt him as he hears Seth tell him, "It can't be as bad as you think it is."
Problem is that it is bad. He scared the shit out of his girlfriend. He drove drunk while screaming at her. He endangered her life. He killed someone. Then his girlfriend had to take the fall, and he had the galls to behave like he was the one harmed.
He shakes his head back and forth as Seth tells him, "Tell me about it. That will make you feel better."
He stiffens at Seth's words and pulls away. He is no victim. He is the villain. He doesn't deserve to be soothed or feel better.
He has crossed too many lines. He has broken too many sacred oaths he made and broken too many promises he should have kept. He needs to be punished. He needs to be held accountable. He knows what he must do.
"Please leave Seth," he mutters his voice hoarse.
"Hell no. I am not leaving you when you are like this," Seth replies stubbornly. Edward looks up to meet Seth's eyes. He doesn't want to do this. He wants Seth to always think the best of him, but it must be done. The show must end.
"Seth, if you don't leave, I will call the police," he tells him monotonously. Seth's face falls as he stares in shock.
He opens his mouth and shuts it a couple of times as the shock turns into anger and he finally says, "Fine, you can have it your way. Be an asshole. Just don't come crying to me once you realize that I am the only friend you have." Seth gets up and storms out of the apartment with the door slamming behind him.
Edward finally mutters out loud, "I am sorry," then gets to business. He looks for his mobile phone and once he finds it, he sets to work on writing the letter. It takes time and a couple of tries before he thinks that he has nothing left to say. By the end, his fingers are shaking from the typing he did, or maybe the fear of what he is about to do, but nonetheless he doesn't stop till he is done.
He gets up and goes his bathroom and gets what he needs and puts it in his pocket. He goes to the kitchen and fills a glass of water and takes it with his phone to the living room.
He sits on the couch and stares at his hands for a couple of seconds before he finally has the guts to take the plunge. He hits send and with the help of water gets to business.
By the end of it, he is left staring dazedly into the space in front of him. His vision gradually weakens. His hands fall beside him as his limps feel heavy. That heavy weight quickly turns into numbness as he losses feeling in them. His thoughts become hazy with the last distinct one he hasbeing; I hope the 20 pills did the trick.
Trigger warning: mention of drunk driving and scuicide.
Hello lovely people,
I hope you aren't too angry at me for the cliff hanger. Everything will make sense at the end. I promise. I want to talk about Edward's drive behind his decision in this chapter, but I want to hear your thoughts on it before I comment.
I was originally going to update my other story first, but I wanted to thank the 100 people who have followed this story, so I decided to update earlier. It's wild and crazy to me that there are one hundred people who have committed themselves to read a story that I am writing. Thank you guys for believing in me as a writer. I can't promise to never disappoint you, but I promise to always write something that is well thought out and authentic. I will try to update the next chapter as soon as possible.
Please leave a comment in the review section. It could be your favorite part, thoughts, feeling, or even criticism. Any and every comment you leave is read and taken into consideration. Your comments motivate me to update faster, and help me grow as a writer.
Until my next update,
Stay Safe