I don't own twilight. What I own is my character's behavior, personality, background, and plot of the story.

Please read the author's note at the end for the trigger warning.

"This color mummy," Cece tells Bella handing her a lavender coloring pencil. Bella nods her head and takes the pencil from Cece and colors with it. Her daughter inherited her great artistic sense if she says so herself. She smiles as she imagines Cece a couple of years down the line spending time in her office and learning from her.

A ping alerts her of a notification she just received. She looks at her phone and finds a message from Edward. She rolls her eyes and drops it on the table, but something in her gut forces her to pick it up again and open her phone.

"Sweetie, I need to take this," Bella tells Cece as she slowly gets up while reading the message she got.

Dear Bella,

I don't know where to start. I didn't watch the video. I broke the USP, but I believe you. I had a nightmare, more like a flashback.

I wish I was better. I wish I had done better. I am only starting to understand what I did and who I was. I don't like the person I was. I don't like the person I am. I don't know when I became this person. You were the light at the end of the tunnel of my life. I don't know when I got lost and where I went wrong.

I murdered someone. You know that already. I don't know what to do with what I know now about myself. Actually, I think I know. I am just not sure that I have the courage to go ahead. If you are reading this, then I guess I am not as much of a coward as I thought I was.

I am sorry for everything I did to you. For every word that was like poison in your veins. I wish more than anything that I was enough, that I was good enough and deserving of you, but I am starting to learn that I never deserved you and I never will. I wish you all the best. I resented Marco before. Then I assumed it was because you choose him over me, but now I know that it's because he is everything I always thought I was. He is someone who truly deserves you. He is everything I wish I was and will never be.

Be happy. I know that I have no right to tell you anything or ask anything, but be happy. Don't let me win. I shouldn't win. I have no right to win. I have taken too much from you. Don't let me take this too. You don't have to ever worry about me again. I am in a far better place than the one I deserve.

With love,

Edward.

Bella rushes to her bedroom with the phone tucked between her shoulder and her ear as she tries to stop the tears from rolling down. "Hey Bella what's up?" Seth's agitated voice comes through.

"Go to Edward's place," she orders him as she jumps into a pair of jeans.

"Fuck no. I just left that motherfuckers place after he kicked me out. He is a lost case Bella," Seth replies angrily.

"He is committing suicide," she replies because she has no time to beat around the bushes.

Seth splutters and then tells her, "How? What? How do you know?"

"He just sent me a suicide note," she replies as she zips up her jacket.

"Son of a bitch! Are you sure?"

Walking out of her bedroom, she tells him, "Yes, go to him and call the police on the way. I am coming too," and then hangs up.

She knocks once on the door of the office before she opens it and tells Marco, "I am leaving. Keep an eye on Cece for me."

"What's wrong?" he asks making her stop by grabbing her hand and looking at her tear-strike face.

"I think," Bella tells him pausing to sniff before she continues, "I think Edward committed suicide."

Before the words are out he pulls her to him and hugs her tightly before asking, "What do you know?"

"Not much," she tells him pulling back and continuing, "He sent me a suicide note. He didn't say that he is killing himself, but he alluded to it. I called Seth and he is near so hopefully, he will get to him in time."

He pulls her back silently for a hug and she lets him. She doesn't hug him back but it doesn't matter because Marco knows her. He knows that if she didn't want his hug she would have pushed him away.

He pulls back and sweeps away the tears under her eyes then tells her, "Why don't you let me make you a cup of tea? Let Seth handle this."

She shakes her head and tells him, "I can't. I need to go. I told Seth that I will come."

He stares silently at her for a moment before he tells her, "More like I want to make sure that Edward didn't die."

Bella bursts into tears and tells him, "If he died, it will be my fault. I told him all that shit,", "Cut the crap Bella. You did no such thing. If he couldn't handle all of that shit, he shouldn't have done it from the get-go," Marco replies cutting her off.

"No. I should have broken the news to him gently. I should have eased him into it. He has always been impulsive. I should have seen it coming and prepared," Bella replies stubbornly before taking the glass of water from him and drinking it.

"Bullshit and you know it. It's not your job to protect him. You just raised a mirror and showed him his own reflection. It's not your fault that the image he saw was shitty," Marco pauses to look at her imploring her to understand and when he sees her shake her head he resumes speaking.

"Dont you see it. This is another way for him to manipulate you. He wants you to fell guilty for telling him the truth. He can't live with knowing the truth, but he has no problem with you living the rest of your life with the guilt of how he died. He wants to control you even in death. Don't let him get to you," he implores her at the end.

Bella contemplates her choices for a moment and then she sweeps the tears under her eyes and puts on her sunglasses and tells him with renewed convection, "I understand everything you are saying. I am not doing this for him. I am doing this for me. I deserve peace and I can't have peace if I don't know what happened to him."

He nods his head in silence and she takes that as her sign to leave. She looks at the time and notices that it has been five minutes since she got the message as she pulls out of the parking lot and into the street. She speeds aff and dodges cars as she taps her finger on the steering wheel.

"Come on, what is taking you so long?" She moans out and then honks at the car in front of her. She calls Seth to see if he got to Edward but he doesn't answer which makes her worried more than before.

God, what if he died? What will I do with myself?

"Finally," she yells once the car in front of her takes a turn, "You would think you are a grandma with how slow you drive."

She pulls in front of Edward's building and doesn't bother parking properly before she jumps out of the car and runs to the doorway. Not wanting to wait for the elevator, she takes the stairs two at a time until she reaches the floor Edward lives on.

"Oh God, no," she whispers once she finds Seth sitting on the ground outside Edward's apartment with his head in his hands. Upon hearing her voice, he raises his head to look at her. His eyes haunt her with an indecipherable expression in them.

Hello lovely people,

I hope you had fun reading my chapter. We don't know if Edward died or not. That will become clear in the next chapter.

I want to thank everyone who reviewed the previous chapter. I don't think I have ever had that many readers review a chapter before. You guys are amazing and the only reason I update as frequently as I do. Please keep them coming. Reading them is the highlight of my day.

Also, since I know that a lot of you guys are frustrated with this Edward, I wanted to let you know that the Edward of my other story is the polar opposite, so if you like my writing and would like to read a decent Edward, you know which story to start following next.

On a scale of one to ten, how smooth is my transition from thanking you to shamelessly self-promoting my other story?

If it's less than five, don't let me know. I would like to spend the rest of my life in blissful ignorance.

Until my next update,

Stay Safe