(E)-06/11/22 Original A/N- Sorry for some of the confusion with how the countries work! Basically, there are 12 Countries, all with their unique gem stone. Each country has a set of 5 factions, Dauntless, Erudite, Candor, Abnegation and Amity. This means each Country has 5 Princes, each ruling over a faction. Hopefully that clears it up! If not please just ask! Anyway, thanks for reading! Bethany xx
Chapter 3
A scorching mug burns my hands as I tightly grip onto it. It's an undrinkable temperature at the moment. I know the maids gave it to me to try and warm me up, but it's just burning my already raw fingers.
The Choosing finished over an hour ago. We headed up here after Dad suggested our family and the Toskens move to a more private area to discuss this new information. So now we're sitting in the library.
The far left corner is where the seating area is, the only part of the room not filled with high bookshelves. A couple sofas are placed around the unlit fire, the maids unprepared for visitors. Everyone's all over the place, this small nook not created for such a large volume of people. Dad's pacing back and forth, whilst the King of Tosken, Marcus, is communicating with Alexander a bit further into the government section of the bookshelves. Mum is sitting unusually quiet on the sofa, next to Caleb. Nita sits to the left of him, staring into space. Evelyn, the Queen of Tosken, is standing as far away from the majority of us, next to the fire. A couple of the Tosken boys, their names already forgotten, sit on the sofa to my left, whilst two of them, one of them Four, stand next to the agriculture section, talking quietly.
Xav, Gideon and Ash are all sitting tightly on the sofa, with me squished in the middle. Both Callan and Seb are perched on the arms of the sofa, a habit that usually gets them scolded.
I watch as both Marcus and Alexander leave the room. I can see that Dad looks conflicted as to whether he should follow the two of them, but he chooses not to and stays in the library with the rest of us.
The blanket tightly wrapped around my body starts to generate too much heart, especially with the boy's tight proximity. I think about removing it, but quickly shoot down the idea. After that, uh, scene, I pulled a bit ago, my body warmed up and the embarrassment flooded in. I know I wasn't thinking when I ran out the door, but, really, what the hell was I thinking? Nita hadn't even acted so rash. I'm normally a logical thinker, I like to think like Ash. Ash believes there's always some explanation for things to happen. So, taking that mindset, there must be some sort of explanation and fix for this mess.
I start to get hotter, but the attention of the room has finally fallen off of me, and moving right now in this calm would surely bring it back.
"You warm?" Xav whispers in my right ear.
I look at him and nod, "How'd you know?" I whisper back.
"Your cheeks are on fire," my hands lift to feel my burning cheeks, and as expected, I feel the burning heat, "you know you can take that blanket off of you now."
I roll my eyes, "yes, I know that, Xav."
His eyebrows scrunch together, "so why aren't you?"
I pass him my mug; removing the blanket is going to be less hassle than giving him an explanation, so I take it off.
"You feel better now, honey?" Dad asks, coming behind me and squeezing my shoulders. All unoccupied eyes turn to me. Great.
I try to lower my body as far as it can go into the sofa as it can get, "Yes, thank you," I mumble.
"That was quite the scene." I hear from the other sofa. I turned my attention to the boy dressed in black and white, his name still absent from my mind.
It sounds like he's trying to joke, but his tone is just a bit off.
"Uncontrollable bodily reaction, Parker." I answered, hoping not to let them see my embarrassment.
His green eyes tighten, "Close."
I raise my eyebrows, "Do you want me to keep guessing, Porter? Because I will."
I see a figure move from the fireplace, Evelyn. "That's enough, Peter. Now boys, please reintroduce yourselves. You can't expect Beatrice to remember your names, today's been quite the experience." She says kindly, giving me a small smile.
I smile back, appreciating the opportunity to shut Candor up.
"It's Peter." He finally answers. Well, I was close enough. Peter looks annoyed that his mother scolded him, the other boys either look amused or unbothered.
Evelyn looks to the next boy on the sofa and gestures for him to carry on.
"Eric." He slouches into the sofa, his blue suit starting to crease. He looks pretty bored.
On his left is the Abnegation boy, "I'm Al." He says quietly. Al seems to be on the extreme end of Abnegation, keeping his head down, trying to become invisible. I try to get a better look at him, but his head is tilted in a way that I can hardly see his face.
Next to him is the Amity boy, I think his name was Robert? "Hi, I'm Robert, it's nice to meet you!" He says with a smile. I see Four is grabbing his upper left arm, holding him back. I'm sure Robert is trying to stifle the need to give me a hug, as it is their traditional greeting. Instead, he gives me a wave. I smile and give a small wave back; even though the Amity can sometimes be a bit unbearable, I'm not rude.
"And last is Four." I finish off, not needing an introduction for a guy with a number for a name, hard to forget that one.
Four rolls his eyes, "Thanks for taking my moment to shine." He says, sarcasm dripping from his voice.
"Not a problem." I reply, pleased with myself.
I feel quite a few eyes staring at the both of us, all apart from Nita and Mum, who are both looking anywhere but me.
"You two know each other?" Xav asks, his voice sounding tense.
"Barely." We both say in unison. I look over and raise my eyebrows, smirking slightly. I see a small smile playing on his lips too.
For the first time since we got into the library, Nita speaks, "We all had a run in before the choosing."
Nita's voice brings thoughts swirling back to my head. Her and the boys don't seem very close. I haven't seen any comforting from them since we all left the Great Hall. Even on the way here she walked beside Evelyn. I can't imagine not being close to the boys you've grown up with, with the boys you're going to spend the rest of your future with. I understand my circumstances have been different, but I'm sure the other Princesses are close to their Princes?
I decide to stop speculating any further, I have no idea what their home life is like, and hopefully I won't have to.
I'm hopeful there's some sort of explanation for the Choosing misunderstanding. That is the reason why we've all congregated into this room. We're all waiting for Marcus to come back with Alexander, hopefully with some good news.
The library goes quiet again, everyone content with the new information.
"When did this all happen?" Xav whispers to me.
I look at him, perplexed, "What are you on about?"
"When did you run into Four and Nita?" He responds. What's the big deal? I'm tempted to ask but I don't particularly want to add on to this conversation, this day is draining enough as it is.
"When Mum took me out of the room to give me her necklace." I fiddle with the piece of jewellery as I speak.
This time, Xaver looks at me, confused. "I thought jewellery is passed down at your 18th Choosing?"
I nod as I briefly look over to Mum, her attention on the empty fireplace, "She said she wanted to give it to me now, 'just incase'." I use air quotes as I look back to Xav. His questioning is confirming my suspicions that something is up, and Mum knows more than she is letting on.
"Well talk to her later." Xav ends up saying, I give a subtle nod in confirmation.
Our conversation ends at the exact time Marcus and Alexander walk through the library doors.
I've tried to keep any hope I had suppressed, knowing that if I let myself feel it, I would be more than devastated if the news was bad. Marcus's expression does nothing to help that hope.
He walks over to the seating area where we all are, and stands behind his Tosken boys, facing the rest of us. His next sentence makes my heart sink. "I'm sorry girls," he begins, "there's no way to change the pairings."
I try to stay calm this time, focusing on my breathing and not on the inevitability that I'm leaving. Marcus looks at myself and Nita, pity pooling in his eyes, "They want everything to go as planned, we'll have to leave tomorrow morning." The thought of being forced to leave so soon is nauseating.
Dad speaks up, "Lets give each other some space, okay? We'll meet at the gates tomorrow at 9am."
I don't hear the others leave the room, all I can hear is the ringing in my ears; the voices around me seem miles away. I see Xav walk over to Mum and start talking, shouting? Dads trying to talk to me, but I can't hear a word he's saying.
"I need to go." I think I hear myself say, then I walk out of the library. I ignore the fact that I need an escort, and run to my room.
...
My room is a few floors above the library. I get there fast, running through hallways and up flights of stairs. I ignore the mulling of servants and guests, too focused on my goal. When I get to my room I shut the door and lock it. The space starts to spin violently. My back slides down the door and I'm on the floor. I rest my head on my knees to try and control the spinning.
"Bea?" My name is called from in front of me. Christina. I hum in response. "Are you alright?"
"Just give me a moment." I mumble in response. I feel her retreat back into the room, giving me much needed space. The thought of being back out in the freezing blizzard is starting to sound like a good idea again. The numbness the coldness brought sounds more appealing than this.
"Come sit on the bed, Bea. Do you want to talk about it?" I know Christina is just trying to be nice, but that's the last thing I want to do. I decided that my bed would be a good place to try and be forgotten.
I crawl into bed and pull the duvet over my head.
"Do you want me to run you a bath?" She asks, probably still confused as to what's going on. The people working in the castle at the time of the choosing are not prohibited to watch while working.
I poke my head out and see she's led on the bed next to me, her long light blue dress draping off the sides. "That's not your job, Christina." I reply.
She smiles and shakes her head, "I know it's not, but I'm assuming you don't want any of the maids in your room right now?" I smile joylessly back at her. Christina knows me the best out of all my family, how am I going to say goodbye?
"That would be nice, thank you." To think that I didn't even get to ask Christina to be one of my ladies in waiting, the plan was to do it tomorrow. I've always been close to Christina, her dad is a chief advisor to my dad. I've grown up with her, and now I'll have to leave her behind, like the rest of my wonderful life in Athua.
She walks back into the room, the bath water running therapeutically in the background. She sits back on the bed, "now, I know you said you didn't want to talk about it, but I know you. You'll feel better talking to me."
I know she's right, any time I've had a problem I've always spoken to her. Christina's great at listening and giving advice. Too bad she can't figure out this problem.
I sigh and start explaining, "The Divinity has decided that I'm not a Princess of Authua, but of Tosken."
She looks at me, shocked. I'm sure it wasn't on her list of what's wrong with Beatrice today? "What does that mean?" She ends up saying.
"It means I have to leave. Tomorrow."
Her face drops, and her mouth starts opening and closing. "By yourself?" She gets out.
I nod back, "I assume so?"
She shakes her head, "That's not fair! Like, at all! They expect you to just leave your life here and pick it up elsewhere? Have they done this with all the Princesses?" I think about her question, I'm assuming the rest went to plan, as you'd think the castle would be in more chaos.
"I don't think so, but who knows? Nita and I chose last."
"Has this ever happened before? Why did they choose you two? Why'd you have to leave so quickly? Do your parents know anything more? How'd the boys react?" Christina rambles on, most of her questions I don't have an answer for.
"I don't know, Christina," I start, "I think Mum knows more than she's letting on, she's been acting really strange all day. Xav said he was going to talk to her."
She nods and looks away from me, into the fireplace across the room. "What am I going to do now?"
I laugh wetly, "You know, tomorrow I was going to ask you to be one of my ladies in waiting."
She looks back at me, tears filling her eyes, "Why'd you have to tell me that?"
This time a full laugh leaves my mouth, "you've always known I'd pick you as a lady." Who else was there to pick? I'd probably have gotten Mum to pick my other ones. I don't really know anyone else in the castle.
She tries to smile at me, "I know, but it's harder to hear it coming from you."
I remove my arm from the confines of the duvet and grab her hand. I give it a squeeze, unable to think of any other way to comfort her.
"Oh!" She says suddenly, "The bath!" Christina jumps off the bed and runs into the bathroom to turn the faucet off. "It's ready!" She shouts into the room. I get off the bed and grab my dressing gown and a couple towels. The steam hits my face when I open the door.
"Did you forget to open the window, Christina?" I ask with a laugh.
"No," She responds lightly, "I was trying to go for sauna vibes."
"Right, turn around, then."
Christina turns towards the window whilst I undress and lower myself in the bubble bath. I shut my eyes and try to focus on the heat prickling at my skin. I hear as Christina makes herself comfortable on the chair in the corner by the door.
The bath was nice, Christina mindlessly chatted, probably trying to take my mind off of today's events. It didn't work, but it's the thought that counts. After the bath I just went back to laying on the bed. I haven't left since. Christina is next to me again, us both laying in silence. You'd think knowing this is the last night we'll spend together, that we'd have more to say to each other. At the back of my mind, I know I should be with my family. But I can't force myself to leave the safe confines of my room. My room feels normal, as this is how I usually spend the night, led here, chatting with my best friend. Outside there's a beast ready to pounce.
A knock at the door breaks my train of thought, it opens before I can say anything.
"Beatrice?" Mum says, walking into sight. She smiles at me and Christina, "Hi, Christina."
Christina smiles back, "Hello, Your Majesty." Mum never saw the point of close friends bowing or curtsying, so she made them all stop when she became Queen.
"Do you mind if I have a private word with Beatrice, Christina?" Mum asks.
"Not at all! I'll see you before you leave, Bea. I promise." I sit up and so does Christina, she leans over and hugs me tight. "Sleep well." She says, then I watch her leave my room for the last time.
Mum walks over to the bed and takes Christina's space. I wait for her to start speaking.
She looks over to me and sighs, her hazel eyes look tired, her hair, usually a vibrant burgundy, has dulled. "I know you have a lot of questions, hun. I can only answer as much as I know and as much as is safe to tell you."
My eyebrows pull as I look at her, confused, "Okay? And who's telling you what you can and can't tell me?"
Mum doesn't look at me this time, "I can't tell you that," she says flatly. "You need to keep yourself safe, Bea. Tosken isn't as safe for you as Athua is. There's a reason why you're escorted everywhere here. I need you to be with someone at all times, they don't know anything about this so your safety is in your own hands."
"What do I need to keep safe from, Mum? This information isn't very helpful when there's massive gaps missing." I reply, frustrated.
She looks apologetic, "I know it's not a lot to go off on, but it's the best advice I can give." Ah, so this is advice, not information. Great.
She takes in a deep breath, "Right. Anyway, your Father has spoken to a Divinity representative." If she would have said a Divinity member then maybe I'd be more hopeful. But a representative? Best I'm getting is a 'sorry for the inconvenience' card. "They said that Caleb and Christina can join you if you'd like."
Oh, well that's better than expected, but, I can't do that to them, "I can't take them away from their families, Mum. Just because Caleb's my blood doesn't mean he thinks any higher of me. And Christina! Her parents and sister are here. I can't make them leave their lives behind just so I can have a familiar face with me." I'd love for them to come with me, but if I think this is not fair for me, it definitely isn't fair for them.
Mum gives me a small smile and pats my hand, "Well, I'm still going to give them the choice, is that alright? It would make me feel better if someone went with you."
I nod my head, only agreeing to please her.
I hear the door open again, this time Dad walks in. "Hey." He says and sits at the bottom of the bed.
"Hey." I reply back.
His eyes look red, the sparkle in them extinguished. "We'll see each other all the time, alright? Authua and Tosken will be closer than ever!"
My eyes start to well up as I choke out a laugh, "I don't want to go." My tears finally flow freely. Mum hugs me from the side whilst dad gets up and shimmies in next to me, putting his arm around my shoulders.
"It's all going to work out fine." He mumbles into my hair. I feel a wet circle forming on the top of my head.
Before I know it, Seb, Ash, Callan, Guideon, Caleb and Xav are all piled on my bed. The boys start to chatter loudly, probably giving their condolences. I see Xav is quiet, his eyes staring into mine. I smile sadly at him. He was right; our lives never truly began, and now they never will.