A/N- Happy Friday! I hope everyone had a great week! Thanks for the reviews on the last chapter! I would like to give Four the benifit of the doubt for his, umm, methods in testing Tris's abilities lol. To be fair to him, he didn't actually believe her, and who can blame him? Sounds pretty made up to me. Enjoy this one! Where Four isn't the one hurting Tris!

Chapter 16.

I wake to the sunrise. The warm rays of red and purple stream into my open room, bathing the space in colour. I stretch, still feeling like I could do with another night's rest. My sleep was more than disturbed last night.

Bringing myself up to my elbows, I look towards the other side of the room. Four, sleeping restlessly on the sofa, looks cramped as ever. He had gotten up more times than I could count last night, waking me to make sure I was still cognitive. The whole thing felt beyond unnecessary last night, especially when I was groggy from being shaken awake. But, as I looked over to him now, his legs sprawled over the arm of the sofa, his neck bent to the side- my heart swells with gratitude.

There's a soft knock at the door, quite enough that the exhausted Prince doesn't stir. I jump up before they knock louder, and open the heavy door a crack. On the other side is a sheepish looking Myra.

Opening it wider, I give her a tired smile. She curtseys in greeting and I resist telling her that it's unnecessary- knowing it's too ingrained in her to change overnight. "Good morning, Your Highness. I'm sorry to wake you so early."

I catch a glimpse of the clock, seeing that it's just past 6 in the morning. "No worries, Myra. Did you need something?"

She nods. "Her Majesty, and his Highness, Prince Albert are down in the throne room. The Queen wants you two to do the tour of Abnegation today."

I nod, remembering how much Evelyn had wanted to see her friend yesterday. Now that Al's better, there's no reason not to do it this weekend. It'll be good to get it out of the way before my friends begin their jobs on Monday.

"Your dress." Myra points out. She lifts the fabric in her arms higher. Handing it to me, I find that it's heavier than my usual attire. I pull at the sleeves, not surprised at the length. This dress is going to cover me from head to toe.

I thank Myra, then shut the door. I hold the dress out in front of me, taking it in. The cotton-like dress scrapes along the floor with weight. My eyes roam up, and see it has a high collar too. I sigh, thinking of the sweat that's going to accumulate under this gown.

My arms drop, the dress now limply held in my hands. Looking over to Four, I see that he's still out of it. I turn away, making my way out the door and down the stairs, entering the bathroom. I go to the closet and find some comfortable looking shoes. If they're not being seen, I'm not wearing something uncomfortable. I shower quickly, then get dressed. The gown hovers just over the ground whilst on, and I thank the Palace seamstresses for not creating a hazard. I ran back up the stairs, hiking my dress and holding it on a fist to prevent tripping.

I move around the room quietly, shoving bits and pieces in my bag to take with me. When I'm done, I look over at Four, wondering what I should do. Maybe I should wake him up? I should let him know where I'm going. I shake off the thought, knowing he's had less sleep than me. It's also just past 6 am, there's no need for him to get up right now. My eyes catch the coffee table in front of the sofa, and move to my notepad. I grab a pen, shove myself to the floor, and scribble a note.

'Tosken,

Gone to Abnegation- I'll see you tomorrow. Let Christina know.

Tris.'

I fidget with the pen, looking up at him. He tosses a few times, mumbling something incoherent. He's uncomfortable.

I sigh, looking to my empty bed, then back to him. I reach out, shaking his shoulder gently, trying to wake him up, but not too much- if that's even possible.

His eyes open in tired winks. "Tris?" He mumbles, then his eyes fall shut again.

"Don't fall back asleep just yet." I whisper, trying to pull his body into a sitting position. After a few seconds of me failing to hold up his weight, he complies and sits up. Without any other explanation, I move him to stand and drag him over to the empty bed. He flops down on the inviting sheet, and I manoeuvre them around him. I look at his now relaxed face, pleased with myself. I brush a few loose strands of hair off of his forehead, willing myself to leave. This would be easier if it was Dauntless's turn again.

My hand moves on its own, the tips of my fingers running down his neck, making their way down his shoulder then arm.

As my hand touches his, his palm turns up, enclosing mine in his. Startled, I looked up. His eyes are still closed, but he's got a small smile on his face. "Stay?" He says it so quietly, I question if he even said it.

I almost do as he so innocently asked, to lay back down and fall asleep with Four next to me. Is this not what I've been wanting these past few days?

"Maybe another time." I whisper instead. I don't know if he heard it, his breathing has evened out already.

Before I leave, I make my way back to the coffee table. I pick up my notepad and edit the note I left. I quickly write, 'love, Tris.' in replacement, then I hurry out of the door before I have time to change my mind.

The trip to Abnegation wasn't as bad as I was expecting. One, the dress is actually quite breathable. I shouldn't be so surprised; Tosken is a hot country- obviously Erudite would have created breathable material. Number two, is that Al isn't nearly as quiet and dull as I thought. He's really come out of his shell on this train journey. We talked throughout the ride, and I actually think I know more about the Abnegation Prince than I do the rest of them. Even Four.

"So," I blurted out when a silence fell between the two of us, "why do you act so differently around the family?"

He shrugs his shoulders softly. "I don't know, you gotta keep up appearances somehow." I watch him thinking of what to say next. "I've never felt like I've fully belonged in Abnegation- I don't think any of my brothers truly feel like they belong in their faction either." He's looking out the window, watching the green hills of the countryside whip past. "Robert can get angry sometimes," he says, "and Eric can be truthful when needed. I know for sure Four is kinder than he lets on to be." I smile at that, knowing the word kind doesn't even hit the nail in the coffin. "Peter…" He trails off, grinning over at me. "Well, let's just say, he's not the loudest of the Candor." I laugh, thinking it's the only nice way you could describe the youngest prince.

"And you?" I ask, tilting my head slightly.

He smiles to himself, looking like he's remembering something. "I've always admired the Dauntless." He says, and I'm surprised by his admission, I'm not sure I could see him a part of that hectic life. "I think we all, my brothers and I, at some point in our lives, wished we were something we could never be."

Memories of my childhood enter my mind. It was before the Athuan brothers had started choosing their factions. We would dress up in Dauntless black and run around the castle, pretending to save the 'lost prince'- which was, in most cases, Caleb. We would play farmers in the summer months and judges in the winter. It was only when the boys got older and their faction was given to them, that we stopped playing those games. It's easy to forget that the Princes were not born into their factions, but had to grow into them.

"I think you're brave, Al. I think it's brave to forget yourself every day, to live a life where you always put someone else first."

"Thanks, Tris." He says finally, shyly smiling. "That means a lot."

We sat in a comfortable silence after that, the train coming into Abnegation half an hour later.

We were greeted by a few older members of the Abnegation council. It's more common in Abnegation for the elders of the faction to have a role in governing, and the younger council members will train to take their places when they retire. I can't help but think how lonely Al must feel when he comes here- being surrounded by people twice his age.

Abnegation, compared to the other factions, isn't physically holding up too well. The pavements are cracking and tree roots leave uneven bumps in the road for the occasional bus to drive over. Plaster is falling off the grey buildings, and I can see condensation forming in the windows. When I bring this up to Al, he just says they only repair when it becomes necessary- they give the crown the rest of their allowance back to redistribute to the other factions.

It feels odd, being here. The whole place feels eerie, and I can't put my finger on why. It could be the monotonous feel of the identical houses, or the uncanny silence that flows through the streets.

We walk past a large tree, towering over the road. The leaves rot on the ground, the fresh ones crunching under the weight of our feet as we cross. The houses next to it look odd, like they were built around the tree. I look to the other side of the road, seeing that they aren't inline. I walk closer to the tree, the willow's branches looking like they're pushing the houses beside it further and further away. I move a handful of branches with my arm, wanting to go in further.

"Hey, Tris!" Al shouts. I took a step back, unsure why I wanted to go under a tree so badly. I turn, humming in response. He makes his way over, after politely excusing himself from his peers. They walk off down the street, heading for their headquarters- a larger rectangular building in the centre of the houses. Al's suit doesn't move with him, looking too stiff on his soft body. "Mum's friend's unwell at the moment; I was wondering if we could pop in and see how she's doing?"

I nod, pleased. Easy enough done. I didn't tell him my conversation with Evelyn, and now I don't have to. He points to the house by the tree. "The tree reminded me of her, that's their house right next to it." We turn to the left, a large looking grey block sits there, with a few steps leading up to it. I compare it to the other houses next to it, seeing that it is bigger than the rest. There are four wonky windows looking out the front, and a plain grey door basically in the middle.

My hands begin to sweat as we come to the door. Al knocks lightly, and my pulse heightens. I feel unprepared. This woman is ill and she doesn't know me and I just expect her to be grateful I'm making an appearance on behalf of her friend? Maybe Andrew had a reason not to want me to talk about his wife, maybe I shouldn't meet her?

The door opens and a pretty young woman comes into view. Her blonde hair is up in a low bun. Her small face is angled down. She timidly looks up through her lashes at us. "Good Morning, Susan." Al greets, nodding his head.

She goes into a deep curtsy. "Your Highness, please, come in."

She moves out of the way, letting us through. Al turns right, towards the living room, then sits on one of the sofas. The plain room had two armchairs and a decently sized sofa. I remember something Callan had said about the Abnegation- that they have just enough. I wonder if Andrew and his wife have any children?

Al pats the seat next to him, and I sit down. I don't get comfortable, feeling like an intruder in someone's home.

Susan shuts the door, then disappears through the door to the kitchen. "Is Susan a child of theirs?" I ask Al, keeping my voice down.

He shakes his head. "No, she's a healthcare worker. She's been positioned with Natalie since she got ill."

I think back to the train. I had asked Al how he was doing, now he had fought off the sickness. He described how he still felt heavy, like there's always a weight on his chest. He had said it's sometimes hard to breathe, and he finds it hard to walk too far. He went on to say that he's hopeful the side effects will ease away over time, but even the doctors can't predict the unpredictable. "It's not a nice illness." He replied. "I didn't feel like myself for a good week- I was hallucinating all the time, sometimes I thought I was dying."

I think of what he said now, with us being in the house of a poor lady who is sick like how he described. Was there a point of us coming? Does our visit account to anything if she doesn't remember it? Will she just feel worse after we leave?

Susan comes back with a tray full of water. She places it on the coffee table in front, then sits politely in one of the arm chairs. I pick up a glass, the ice cubes rattling around inside. I gladly take a swig. The house, although I'm sure, designed to keep heat out, still had no air conditioning. I can feel the sweat dripping between my shoulder blades.

"Did you come to visit Natalie?" She asks, folding her hands into her lap.

Al nods, "My mother had wanted to, but she's unable to leave the Palace at the moment. We thought we'd pop in to see how she's doing."

Susan gives us a grimace. "She's not too well today, I'm afraid. Her fever was high last night, and hasn't broken yet. I don't know when she's going to start feeling better. She seems to have gotten the worst of it."

My heart aches, the sympathy pouring out of me for Natalie. Al starts speaking to Susan, but I can't concentrate on it. I look around the room. For an odd reason, It feels recognisable. I know from school that all Abnegation houses look the same, only differing in size. But I've never set foot in one, let alone the faction. I try to place it, but the more I think, the more my head starts to ache. I quit trying, but my temple begins to throb anyway. I look around and my eyes come across the chair in the corner. My temple throbs harder.

Trying to ignore the feelings, I chug the rest of the cool water, hoping my banging head is just due to me being hot and dehydrated. When it doesn't ease, I butt into their conversation. "I'm sorry to interrupt, but could you tell me where the bathroom is?" Susan smiles warmly at me, then gives me the directions. I thank her, then slowly make my way up the stairs, careful to keep my steps light so as not to jolt my head too much. I go into the small bathroom, and move to the sink, splashing water on my face. I cup water in my hands and take a drink out of them, feeling worse as time passes. I look up, expecting to see my face- but all I see is a plastered wall. I drop my head back down, resting it on my crossed forearms. I give myself 5 seconds, then I walk out of the bathroom.

I'm about to walk back down the stairs, when my eyes catch on an open door at the end of the hall. Light pours out of it, juxtaposing the rest of the upstairs. All of the rooms are pitch black, probably for Natalie's comfort, except this one. The throbbing in my head worsens with the light, but I move towards it anyway. Before I even walk in, I can see two cribs in the centre of the grey room. I move closer and look inside. There is a pink blanket crumpled at the bottom of the crib- almost like a baby's feet have kicked it to the end. My eyes travel over, and a matching blue one is disturbed in the other crib. I look around, trying to ignore the throbbing in my temple. The room doesn't look like it's been touched. There's a rocking chair in the corner by the window, a brown teddy bear discarded on the floor. I look along the dressing table, seeing that there's no dust covering the counters. Someone must be doing upkeep on this room.

The longer I stay in the empty nursery, the more time the empty feeling of loss has to fester. By the time the sun goes behind a cloud, I feel cold. The loss of the sun brandishes the room in a cold grey, echoing the emotion. I slowly back my way out, not feeling as welcome as I did just moments ago.

My body pushes into something- someone soft. I swallow a scream as I spin around, coming face to face with a ghost. She stands with her hand against the door frame, her pale, confused eyes looking into me. I will my heart to stop overworking, realising this must be Natalie.

"Beatrice?" She asks, her eyes widening.

"Huh?" I replied breathlessly, caught off guard. "Oh, yes! I'm sorry to startle you- I didn't mean to be nosey- the door was open and I- well I guess I was being nosey but with all the best intentions I swear!" I smile nervously as I reach up for my necklace. The throbbing quickly subsides, becoming an intense aching in my temple. "The Queen wanted me to visit you on our tour of Abnegation, on her behalf. I know it's not the same-"

I stop myself, as I see the tears falling out of her eyes. I feel mine widen in panic. "I'm so sorry! I really wasn't thinking when I came in here! I just thought that the door was open and-" I stop myself again, knowing I'm not getting anywhere with this. "Maybe it's best if I just leave." I duck my head, ready to go.

I'm rushing past her, but I'm stopped by a bony hand. I look down, seeing that she's holding onto my arm. "No," she croaks out, then coughs into the crook of her arm. "Please don't leave." I breathe through the urge to push her hand away, not too trusting of my ability to not hurt her. I take the risk, not having the heart to push off a sick woman's hand. I'm sure the material covering my skin will be some sort of barrier?

"Are you sure?" I question. She nods with effort, leaning on the doorframe for support. "We should get you back to your room." I say, not wanting her to fall over. I walked her frail self down the short hall, her arm wrapped around mine for support. Luckily, we're the same height, so there's no strain on her behalf. We enter her room, and it feels slightly cooler than the rest of the house. The curtains are pulled, but move with the gentle breeze brushing through.

"How do you Abnegation deal with this heat?" I mutter to myself.

Natalie chuckles, and I realise she heard me. "You can't change an Abnegation's ways." Remembering Al talking about all the unused money they give back, I have to agree.

When she's safely back in her bed, I sit down at the bottom, keeping a good distance. She fidgets a bit, her face filling with strain and exhaustion.

"How are you feeling?" I ask softly, "The Queen said you've not been well for some time."

She pushes herself up so she's leaning against the headboard. Her dainty face strains with effort. "I'm feeling better today." I don't bring up what Susan said, knowing she's putting on a brave face for me.

"I just want to apologise again," I say, still reeling with guilt. "I really didn't mean to make you cry."

"There's nothing to apologise about, you just caught me off guard." A sorrow filled smile takes over her face. "I don't go into the room often- I think Susan may have given it a sweep over and left the door open." Her expression becomes heavy, her eyes flickering to mine. "I lost my two babies years ago, so it's hard to go in there." Her small shaky hands fist the sheet, her knuckles turning white with pressure. "The room is just a reminder of what's not mine anymore. I should donate the items- give them to someone who needs them. But I can't bear to part with it, even if it does bring me pain." She takes in a shaky breath. "The pain reminds me that they're real." My throat tightens, thinking of the rumpled sheets. They've been left like that since that day. I wonder what happened to them. I try to open my mouth to say something, but no words come out. The despair in her voice is enough to leave a heavy lump in my throat. "I had them for one night, and then they were gone."

"I am so sorry, Natalie." I say, forcing the tears back. Losing two babies at once? Her eyes fill with tears again, and I grab her hand, squeezing it gently. It's warm- warmer than I'd expect a person's hand to be with a fever. I drop it when I realise what might be happening.

"It's not your fault, sweet girl. The universe just had different plans for us." She doesn't look like I've just burnt her skin off- maybe I have more control than I think?

"That's a beautiful way of looking at it." I reply, moving my unreliable hands back into my lap. I wonder if I could burn myself?

She smiles sadly, "I've had a lot of time to figure it out."

My phone buzzes at that moment, sounding like Caleb's ringtone. I try to ignore it, knowing it can wait until I leave.

"Check it," Natalie says, like she's reading my mind. "It could be important."

I grab my phone from my skirt pocket, and see it is Caleb. "Oh, it's just my brother." I read over the text, not expecting it.

'Hey, Bea! Just want to check in to see how everythings going? Life's pretty dull without you around. Give me a call when you're free.'

I smile down at my phone, missing him more than I realised. "It's nothing that can't wait." I tell Natalie, making a metal note to give him a call later.

"Caleb?" She asks.

Surprised she knows my brother's name, I nod with hesitation. "Yeah." I say slowly. "He's still in Athua. He's been hoping to get into that big Divinity school in the North, so he stayed to finish up his studies."

"It must have been hard, leaving it all behind." She sounds like she already knows my answer.

"It didn't even cross my mind that it was possible to switch countries. It was the biggest shock of my life. Leaving my family behind was almost impossible to do." It's a bittersweet feeling, thinking about my family. The more I think of them, the harder it is to try and move on. Sometimes it's just easier to keep them out of my mind.

Guilt flashes across her expression, and I feel my brows pull together. "I'm sorry, Beatrice."

I awkwardly laugh, not sure why she's apologising for the decision of the Gods. "This definitely wasn't your fault Natalie. But thanks. Tosken isn't as bad as I thought it would be, if that's any help." I force out a weak smile.

She nods uncertainty and a coldness fills my chest. What's going on? Why am I being so open with a woman I've just met- and why is she feeling more sympathy for me than I have even for myself?

"Tris?" I hear being called from outside the room.

I turn towards the door, hearing footsteps come up the stairs. "In here!" I replied back. A few seconds later, Al and Susan come through the door. Al comes to my side as Susan goes to Natailes. She presses her palm to Natalie's forehead, looks confused, then presses it back again.

"How are you feeling, Natalie?" Al asks, concerned.

She thinks for a moment, then says, "A lot better, actually."

Susan rummages in the draw beside the bed. "You don't feel hot anymore. Let's check your temperature on the thermometer to be sure."

The thermometer comes back with a healthy 37 degrees centigrade.

"And you just started feeling better all of a sudden?" Susan asks, sceptically. "It's just that- the Erudites study of the illness never showed such a speedy recovery. You didn't look like you were going to get better this morning."

I look a little harder at Natalie. When I saw her in the doorway, she did look like she was on death's door- I was surprised she was even walking. Her cheek bones were sunken, big deep bags lined her eyes. Now, she looks like she's gained a stone. Her once dull blonde hair has life back into it, her vivid green eyes alive with colour. I do a double take- having not seen such green eyes since I left Athua. My brother's bright face enters my mind without warning, his meadow green eyes looking at me. I'm standing up before I realise, stumbling backwards towards the door.

Two lost babies? Two empty cribs? Eyes that are identical to my twins? Andrew's behaviour? She knew Caleb's name before anyone told her- she knows my given name- no one calls me that. This isn't possible. We're Athuan. They're Tosken.

The horror must show on my face. Al takes a step towards me and I think I hear her say my name- but the pounding in my ears becomes unignorable. Is that my blood? I'm out of the room, tripping down the foreign stairs. I rush out of the door and down the street. The monotony of Abnegation makes it hard to navigate and I begin to feel dizzy. I take corner after corner, hoping I get close to the train station. I can't stay here.

I come to a halt- thinking of the Palace I'm running to. Andrew will be there. I drop to my knees, my legs giving out. I gasp in air, trying to catch my breath. It does nothing, my throat feeling tighter and tighter the more I try. The panic starts to rise, and tears are pouring down my face. Am I having a heart attack?

Familiarity bashes my chest, begging for someone to help. My shaking hands reach into my pocket, hoping to focus on something other than my closing airways. My eyes are too blurry to see, but I know where to press. Sobs rip out of my mouth as I press the phone to my ear. I press my back against the building behind, my eyes unfocused.

The phone rings and rings and rings. The tears don't stop, they increase as the ringing becomes a background noise. Am I going to die on an empty Abnegation street?

"Hey, Princess. Miss me already?"

My head hits the back of the wall in relief. I slam my hand over my mouth, willing the sobs down. Why did I call him? I can't even get a word out.

"Tris?"

I drag in a ragged breath, hearing it cracking as it goes in.

"Tris, what's wrong?"

A sob finally breaks free, and I pull the phone away. They explode out of me and I feel like I'm crumbling in on myself. His voice comes through the speaker loudly, and I force it back to my ear.

"Breath, Tris."

I try to take in a deeper breath, but it's no use.

"I want you to listen to me, okay?" He asks. I nod, the phone slipping in my sweaty hand. "You're going to breathe with me. Do as I say." I try to focus on his voice, telling me to breathe through my nose and out my mouth. They come out scratchy at first, but start to even out the longer we do it. I feel my chest open up, my throat loosening.

I wipe my eyes, trying to look around me. Thankfully, the street is empty. I look to my right, and see a small green park. Trees cover the expanse, giving well needed cover. I'm up on wobbly legs quickly, taking in shaky breaths as I move.

"You still there?" He asks. I flop down on the grass, my gaze on the hole in the canopy of trees.

"Yeah." I croak out. I hear him let out a breath.

"What's going on? Are you hurt?" He seems panicked.

"No." I reply quietly. "But I don't know what to do." My voice trails off, the treats threatening to take my voice away again.

"Okay." He says. "I'm on my way."

For once, I can't force myself to decline. "Okay."