A/N- Better late than never! Had a busy week, so was finding it hard to edit it! Some of the stuff I write before edititng is actaully embarassing lool. Hopefully will be back to Friday uploads next week! Enjoy reading! Bethany x
Chapter 18
"Your Highness?" Max says loudly, standing at the front of the room. I blink, my daydream coming to an abrupt end. I shift my gaze from the window, looking at him as he stares at me, shaking his head. I see the rest of the brothers turn to look at me, too.
"Yes?" I replied.
"I asked," He repeated, "If you could recite the Dauntless manifesto to me."
Having only read the manifesto a few times, probably not. I make a face, and he sighs. "Listen in my lessons, Tris, and maybe you'll learn something." I nod awkwardly, then lower myself further into my chair.
Robert, in his desk next to mine, flips open the book in front of me, opening to the chapter titled 'The Creation of Dauntless'. I give him a tight smile and skim over the page. We have just started back up classes after our Choosing Ceremony, and it's taking more brain power than I'm willing to admit to get back into it. Max, in my opinion, wasn't the best leader to give us the first lesson. He likes to go off on tangents- which leads to me zoning out. The leaders of the factions rotate each week, teaching us how each faction governs and the relationships between them in the country. It's more in depth than when I was back in Athua, now that our lives are taking on actual meaning. It's nauseating, knowing I'll be the one running this country in just under 2 years.
The clock hits 12, and I heave a sigh of relief. I pick up my bag, going to the front, stacking my book with the others. Looking over at the door, I see the boys filtering out. Tobias hangs back, waiting for me. He catches my eye and gives me an infectious smile. We made plans to go down to the beach with our Dauntless friends after our classes. I've been looking forward to it all day, and after a long week of shadowing Evelyn, I'm ready for the break that the weekend will bring.
I move forward, ready to spend some time with Tobias. We've been on conflicting schedules, so I haven't had the chance to hang around with him. I'm about to move past the desks when a tall body steps in the way. I slowly look up, already knowing who it is.
"Eric." I say tightly, forcing a smile.
He reciprocates, but his smile doesn't seem forced. Weird. "Hey, Tris. I've been trying to catch you all week, but could never find you."
I shrug, feigning ignorance. I've been creeping around the palace the past few days, basically since I got back from Dauntless last Sunday. Avoidinging everyone makes it easier to avoid Andrew. Luckily for me, Natalie is still at home resting, which is why I chose last week to shadow the Queen. What surprised me about her work is the little time she spends with the King. I would have expected the rulers of the country to converse with each other pretty regularly, but apparently not. I didn't dwell on it too much, seeming it worked in my favour. But I don't think I will be taking that approach.
"I've been around." I lie, my eyes flickering to the door. I can hear my friends outside. Tobias is gone, probably having joined them. I look back to Eric, feeling uneasy. His usually cold eyes are warmer, and his smile is easy.
"Are you busy for the rest of the afternoon?" He asks, sounding hopeful. I hold my jaw tight, preventing it from falling to the ground. What the hell?
"Uhh, we were actually going to go down to the beach."
His face pinches. "We?"
"Yeah," I reply, shifting my weight from one foot to the other. "Four and the Dauntless lot."
His features relax and the easy smile is back. "Do you mind if I join?"
No, of course I don't want you to join. I swallow the remark and plaster on my own fake smile. "Of course not." I manoeuvre around him. "They're all waiting outside." I feel him follow. I'm tense as I move towards the door. Smiling Eric is more diconserting than rude Eric.
As I walk out of the door, I see my friends smiling and laughing with each other. They look up as I move through the doorway, their faces dropping when they see Eric walking behind me. Tobias looks at me, questions crossing his face. "Eric's joining us." Is all I say, then start walking down the hall.
I can hear the rest of them start to whisper as Tobias joins me up front. "Did you… Invite him?" I give him a face- thinking that he should know better. Before I say anything, Eric, too, has caught up to me.
"Hey, brother."
"What are you doing, Eric?" Tobias asks, getting to the point.
We're outside by now, making our way down the winding steps to the beach. "I'm trying to get to know the Princess a bit more, you know, like we're supposed to?" He says innocently. I feel a shiver race up my back. My steps falter, trying to fall back with Christina and the rest. Instead, Eric catches my arm, keeping me in step. "Don't fall behind now, Tris." I search his face for a sign that he's not being genuine, but don't see any. If I were a Candor this would be easy.
I give him a tight smile, and keep up their pace. Tobias looks between the two of us, then lands on Eric's hold on my arm. Before Tobais says anything, I put in effort to shake it off. He drops it, then acts like he didn't touch me at all. I move closer to Tobias for the rest of the walk down, hoping to keep myself out of Eric's reaching distance.
When we're on the beach, we grab the towels from the container, and set them down. When the boys start setting up the volleyball nets, Eric decides to join them.
"What's with Erudite?" Christina asks, lifting off her dress.
Shauna, setting up next to me, grins. "Yes, I'd like to know the answer to that."
I groan, already finished with the conversation. "Your guess is as good as mine." The other girls gather around, sitting on the three of our towels.
"He's up to something." Lynn says, pushing her sunglasses over her eyes. She leans back on her elbows, looking in my direction. "No one switches up like that for no reason."
It's possible. "Maybe he's just succumbed to my charm." I counter, grinning at her. "You did."
She shakes her head. "I put up with your charm. There's a difference." I laugh, and the other girls chuckle.
"You know," Lauren says, "he used to act like that around Nita." I see Shauna nodding, some strands of her golden brown hair falling out of her bun.
"Yeah, he was a bit obsessed with her. I was pretty sure he had a plan to steal her away from Four." Shauan laughs, "I'm sure Four would have been more than willing to go along with it."
Sun cream is passed around as the girls gossip. "Four had been trying to get Nita's attention off of him for years. I never thought he'd be successful. That girl was disgustingly stubborn." Lauren says, turning to face the boys. The nets are up, but the ball is occupied between Uriah and Zeke. They wrestle on the ground, trying to get it off of each other.
"They have to grow out of that one day." Shauna says under her breath.
"Don't get your hopes up." Lauren replies, nudging Shauna.
"So," I start up, trying to get the conversation back on Nita. "What was Nita like?" I know a vague idea about her, but there has to be more to the Princess.
The girls look at each other, and I begin to regret my decision to ask. Maybe I don't want to know about the person who has the ability to completely ruin my family's life. "She wasn't great." Marlene forces out. "I wasn't even at the palace all that much- but she leaves an impression."
I remember her argument with Tobias before the choosing ceremony. I also remember the quiet version in the library. The events of the day must have really taken the spite out of her.
"She wanted Mar as one of her Ladies in Waiting," Lynn says, then looks at Shauna. "Didn't she want you at one point, as well?"
Shauna nods. Laurens laughs, "I remember that! And then Four stole you and she was so not happy." Laurens black hair whips around her as she looks at Tobias. The brothers have seemed to sort out their differences, with them all playing nicely together. Eric has been sidelined, and looks like he's taken up the role of referee. The Dauntless boys don't look impressed.
Tobias, probably feeling our gaze, looks over. He's shirtless, as they all are. His bronze skin glows in the midday heat, the sun highlighting and shadowing his muscles. My eyes shift up his body, landing on his face. His eyes catch mine, and I feel heat pool in my stomach.
"See something you like?" Christina whispers to me, poking my bare side.
"So what if I do?" I tease, pushing my sunglasses down my face and laying down on my back.
She squeals, grabbing my shoulders and leaning over me. "You better tell me everything." She gushes, leaning over me. She pushes my sunglasses up into my hair so we're looking eye to eye.
"That could have been a joke, Christina." I reply, skimming her demand.
Her eyes narrow. "Don't go tip-toeing around me now. You forget that I know you better than you know yourself. I've just been waiting for you to admit your own feelings to yourself before I pushed."
"Whatever." I look around Christina, seeing the others are occupied with their own conversations. Shauna has gotten up and taken a place on Four and Zeke's volleyball team. "We'll talk in my room later." I promise, not yet ready to be that vulnerable with the whole group of girls.
She grins at me, then lays her hands on my upper stomach, resting her chin down. "Don't start using me as a pillow, Christina." I warn. "If I feel one bead of sweat that isn't mine on my body, I will throw up on you."
She gasps, "Ladies don't sweat, Tris!"
I laugh, "Yeah, right. If ladies don't sweat, then I definitely don't-"
"Tris?" Eric's voice booms over the girls, silencing us all. Christina twists around, coming to lay at my side.
"Yes?" Please don't ask to speak in private- anything but-
"You want to walk down the beach?" I choke a bit, trying to hold the awkward laughter trying to leave my mouth.
I force out a nod instead, going to stand up. He's not that bad, Tris, you're being dramatic.
I put one foot in front of the other, walking just behind him. As we walk past the boys and Shauna, I feel all of their gazes. I try not to look at Tobias, knowing this is all his fault. If he would have made a move quicker, Eric may have backed off. We've been here for a good half an hour- there's been more than enough time to show me a bit of interest. Instead, his unsettling older brother has taken that advantage.
There are a cluster of large rocks to the left of the beach, a perfect place for a private conversation. I hug my body, looking where I'm putting my feet. We climb over a few rocks before we find a flattish one. He sits, and I take place on a rock just higher than his. If he cares, he doesn't say anything.
My flip flops slap the hard stone as I wait for him to divulge me. He settles back on his hands, looking over his shoulder at me. "I don't expect you to ignore the way I have treated you the past few weeks. I've been rude and cold and it came out of a place of spite." He turns back to look out at the sleeping sea. His dark head of hair keeps his expression from view, but his shoulders sag a bit. I feel the sun beating down on my back, and I'm tempted to use it as an excuse to go back and put a top on. "A lot of people didn't warm to Nita when she was here. But I liked her, even if she had eyes for my brother." I feel my hand twitch, almost wanting to reach out. Being second best to Tobias your whole life, his bitterness is unsurprising.
He turns around, looking mellow. "I'm not telling you this so that you feel sorry for me and excuse my behaviour. But I really want to start over." Seeming hopeful, he waits.
I'm a bit confused about his intentions. Is he just trying to clear the air so we can be friendly towards each other? Or is he interested in me? I don't know how I feel about being friends, but I know there won't be a romantic relationship between us.
Taking a risk, I say. "Sure. Clean slate?" I hold out a hand. Seeming only surprised for a second, he smiles, then shakes it.
We leave the cluster of rocks then, and make our way back over to my friends. Halfway there, he starts to move his path towards the steps. "You leaving?" I ask, stopping.
He nods, walking backwards. "I've got a train to catch." He waves goodbye, then carries on walking towards the palace.
When I get back to the group, I see that the guys have sat down too. I manoeuvre through bodies, plopping myself down in the space between Christina and Tobias. I grab my bag, looking for the suncream I had packed this morning. I find it, then turn back to find all eyes on me.
"What?"
"Tell us what happened!" Christina exclaims, looking exasperated.
Tobias, oddly quiet, takes the cream out of my hands and moves behind me. I smile in thanks, then look back at the awaiting group. "He said he wanted to start fresh." I feel Tobias's hands stop moving for a second, so I move my braid out of his way.
I see Lynn looking at me, a seemingly knowing expression on her face. I ignore it. He seemed pretty genuine to me.
"And what did you say?" Mar asks, leaning in a bit closer.
I shrug, "I agreed. I'm all up for the lack of hostility. He'd make me grey at 21 at his rate."
A few of them chuckle, but some still look unconvinced. "Do you think he's trying to court you?" Zeke asks, seeming concerned.
"I don't know." I say truthfully, my eyebrows pulling together. "You all know him better than I do."
Having finished, Tobias sits back next to me, handing me the spf. I take it, and apply some more to my face.
"He had a thing for Nita." Tobais finally says, looking a bit uncomfortable.
Uriah laughs, "I don't think Nita even knew Eric existed. Her eyes never left Fours." They all laugh, and I smile tightly. I feel a bit awkward talking about Tobias's love life- even if it doesn't exist anymore. I flick my eyes to Tobais's, and see that he isn't finding it all that funny.
Lauren perks up, "Do you guys remember when she face-planted that statue in front of the Calcia monarchs? What was she trying to do Four? Talk to you about your honeymoon?" She teases him. Shauna and Zeke laugh along, obviously recalling the moment.
Four sighs, but nods. A choked laugh bursts out of me. The awkward feeling fades, and to my relief I see him smile. He pushes my shoulder playfully, and I grin harder. "And what was the plan then, Four? Romantic getaway to the Ascal Islands? Or maybe a snowy retreat to Athua where you two could keep each other toasty?" I poke, knowing the teasing is annoying him.
"That's the thing," He replies, "I wasn't paying attention, so when she tried to get it, she tripped over that loose stone."
Conversation erupts, little groups going off in tangents, talking to each other. I feel Tobias lean in. "Do you want to go down to the water?" He asks, his voice low. I nod straight away, the sun slowly tearing me down.
We hop up, and walk the short distance to the shore. I submerge my feet, testing the temperature. "It's crazy how warm it is." I say to him, watching as he walks further in.
"I can't imagine how you and Christina did ice swimming. Just pulling you out of the ocean was cold enough."
I nod, not really remembering much of that day past jumping into the ocean.
"I was thinking," He begins. I look up at him, watching him kick around the water with his feet. "Maybe Nita's parents know something about all of this. If what we're saying is true- that you were born here- then Nita must have been born in Athua, right?" I nod, it makes sense.
"It's a good idea," I begin, "but how would we even get in contact with them? We can't exactly get on a ship tomorrow to have a chat." I sigh, knowing why his mind is going in opposite directions. "I'll have to talk to Natalie and Andrew. They're the centre of all of this."
"Are you sure?" He asks hesitantly. "I could always speak to them on your behalf if you'd like."
I shake my head, smiling at his sweetness. "I'll need to move past it at some point. I can't spend the rest of my life sneaking around the palace trying to avoid them." I look back over to the group, my eyes finding my bag. "I need to call Caleb."
I start to move out of the water, but Tobias grabs ahold of my arm. "Let me get it, you can go over to the rocks again for some privacy."
I stop when I see his small smile, forcing the breath into my throat. "Okay."
He nods once, then jogs over to our friends. I start walking over to the rocks, neveres raking through my body. I hate to tell him this over the phone, but it's wrong to keep it to myself much longer. He needs to know our birth parents are alive.
Tobias catches up to me, handing me the phone. "I'll wait here." He says.
I stop, looking at him confused. "You don't want to come with me?"
His eyes widen slightly, and he stumbles on a few of his words. "I mean- yeah, if you want me to? I wasn't sure-" I grabbed his hand, pulling him over. He takes the lead, bypassing the rock Eric and I had sat on. We descend, coming to a more active tidepool. "Be careful." He says, helping me down. "It can get slippery." I sit down, letting my legs dangle over the rock. The water splashes my legs as the waves break. It's oddly more calming than the quiet sea.
I scroll through my phone, finding Caleb's number. I press call, then put it up to my ear. He picks up on the second ring.
"Hey, Bea." He says first, sounding a bit out of breath.
"What are you doing?"
"We're on our way to see Nita off. Apparently she needs a break from the cold." He says, sounding amused.
"No way." I laugh. Four looked at me expectantly. Later, I mouth. "Where's she heading?"
"The Ascal Islands? You know the ones by Ethros?"
I raise my eyebrows, looking knowingly at Tobias. "Oh, really? That's interesting."
"I guess? Anyway, it's weird you called, I was just about to do the same." He says lightly.
"Must be a twin thing." I replied. "Did you need something?"
"I was going to make it a surprise." He starts,and my interest peaks. "I've got some time off from school, and thought I'd come visit! Mum and Dad said it was a good idea, as I'm the only one who has any free time." He seems excited, and suddenly I am too.
"That's great!" I exclaim. "When are you planning to come?" I feel myself grinning. The thought of my brother visiting has completely flipped my mood.
He pauses. "Uh, tomorrow."
"Okay," I draw out, unsure why he's unsure. "I'll leave you to it! I can't wait to see you." My throat starts to feel tight, so I wrap it up.
"I'll see you soon." He says. I hang up the phone, and settle it on a higher rock behind me.
"So you didn't explain anything to him?" Four chides.
"I didn't need to." I start, "He's visiting."
He looks surprised, then his dark brows pull together. "So soon?"
I nod, reaching down to twist my necklace. My hands hover over nothing, and I remember that I left it in my room, afraid to break it down on the beach. My hands fall, disappointed. "Yeah, I think this is his only time off before he leaves for his prestigious University."
"The Divinity one?" He asks. I nod. "I think one of Eric's advisors went to that one. It's not an easy feat to get into- no matter the privilege."
"Caleb's crazy smart. He's also a people person, he could talk his way into anything." Or out of anything. Once when we were children, he talked his way out of pushing me down the stairs. I ended up getting in trouble for it, and to top it off I was bruised and achy for the next week.
"I'm sure you'd be just as smart," He says, a teasing grin lighting up his face, "if you'd actually pay attention in our classes."
"Hey! I was listening until Max started ranting about the Amity being too in his face! I like him and all, but even I can't stand factions moaning about each other."
"I thought he had a fair few points." He says. "I don't think Robert agreed, though."
"Super surprising, isn't it?" I grab my phone, hauling myself to my feet. "We better get back." I hold out a hand in gesture, knowing for certain I would be no help getting him up. He grabs a hold anyway, using me as some balance. I forget about the slippery stone, and my feet loosen. I feel myself falling forward even before he's left the group.My stomach flips as I topple into him, my knees nearly hitting the hard rock. His hands grab my waist and upper arm, steadying me.
My hands grip his shoulder, and when I look up, our faces are only inches apart. My breaths are heavy, my heart racing. "Thanks." I say quietly, looking back up to his dark eyes. I take a deep, shuddering breath, willing my beating heart to calm.
His eyes flicker downwards, then back up. I feel his grip tightening. "Tris…" He trails off, his eyes clouding.
I feel my nails dig into his back so slightly and-
I scamper back, looking at him in horror. Taken off guard, he falls backwards, hitting the hard rock.
"Are you okay?" I gasp out, wanting to reach out, but not trusting myself to. I search his shoulders for the burn, knowing it must be there. That falling feeling, the feeling of not being in control, was the exact same as when Tobias tripped me up at the stables. I burnt him badly then- I must have done now. I was so caught up in wanting to kiss him that I didn't even realise I hurt him. Get a hold of yourself, Tris.
Seeming dejected, he goes to stand. "Nothing more than a bruised ego." He mutters, his eyes not meeting mine.
My eyes furiously scan his body, scampering up to my feet. I obsessively try to find where he's hurt. Where are they?
"Tris?" He asks, tentatively stepping closer. I step closer too, needing a better view.
"Where are your burns, Tobias? I should have burnt you but there's nothing there!" I finally got the courage to reach up, touching the healthy skin of his shoulders. I rub my fingers over them, over and over. They have to be somewhere-
"You're going to give me friction burns at this rate." He says, grabbing my jittery hands. I breathe in, catching his eyes. "There's no burns, Tris. I'd think I would know if you burnt me- they kind of hurt." He smiles weakly, bringing my hands to rest at their sides.
I shake my head in disbelief. "I don't get it- it doesn't make sense."
"Tris, take some time, okay? Think. What's so different about this time?" He prods, helping me collect my thoughts.
What is so different about this time? "Nothing! Nothing's different. I felt a heightened emotion, I should have hurt you! Instead nothing happened." He doesn't reply and I huff, turning in a circle, trying to think. "I'm not wearing my dress?" I say weakly, already knowing that's not it. There's nothing special about my dresses. "I'm not wearing my fancy shoes?" I add, letting my flip flops slap on the ground. "Ooo! I know! My hair is in a braid and not free. Maybe my powers don't like to be restricted." I grin broadly, and I see the corner of his mouth curve up. "Or maybe-" I cut myself off, my hand reaching for my neck. "Tobais." I say softly, looking up at him. Sensing my change of mood, he comes closer, mirroring the worried look on my face. "The necklace." I say. "I'm not wearing my necklace."
The stones. Could it all come from the stones? Is that why Erudite are mining in the lake?
His eyes scan my bare neck, then he looks back up at me. The lines between his brows are back, his blue eyes darkening for a different reason. "We need to go."