A/N- I'm going to stop making promises lool. Chapters will come, but just when I feel like writing. Life's pretty unpredictable, and half the time my head's just not into it. But what does help me take account is when I read the reviews. I don't do it a lot, just because the interaction for this story has been pretty low for a while- so it took me a few weeks to even check the reviews. So for this chapter, we can all thank the guest who was wondering where my promised chapter was! Hope you all enjoy this one, and I'll see you in Chapter 37. Bethany x

Chapter 36

His body jerks, his eyes widening as he slowly looks towards his stomach. I watch in horror as the factionless guard releases his grip on my knife, staggering backwards agonisingly slow, a blurry grin creeping onto his face.

Tobias's head slowly lifts back up, those wide eyes looking at me. And then it's like my mind turns to mush, and all I can do is drag my legs through the mud.

But my vision stays crystal clear, and I have no issue watching as his body no longer holds up his weight. I follow the tightening fabric around his knees, listening as his knees hit against the sun bleached grass.

There's a flash of black behind him, but it's a dim shadow compared to Tobias. And as I watch his knees harshly hit the solid ground, I finally suck in a jagged breath.

My own knees bend, the balls of feet slipping against the ground as I sprint towards him. Wind smacks against my face, and my eyes begin to blur.

I catch him just before his body hits the ground, letting his weight pull us both down. But he's finally in my arms. My shaky hands grasp his sides, my lower half slamming into the ground.

"You're okay, you're okay," I repeat, over and over as his heavy head rests on my chest. My breaths come in wobbly inhales, my heart not catching up with my brain just yet. "You're going to be okay, Tobias."

I hold him close, squeezing the tears out of my eyes. My other hand presses between his shoulder blades, and when I open my eyes, I'm not just looking at his mop of brown hair. Like a blooming daisy in the midst of winter, there the knife sits. In the centre of his back, gasping for attention.

It sits there nicely, secure in its place. I can't see the blade, just the metal handle. How long was the knife?

Pointless. He's not moving. My breathing comes more and more laboured, and I try to get the erraticness of it under control. I give moving his slack body a go, needing to see any sign of life. But I'm not strong enough to move his slowly deadening self. And all I can see is the sun shimmering off of the metal handle as I feel nothing but weight beneath me.

Then Lauren's dropping down in front of me, her wild expression on Tobais. "What's going on? Why isn't he moving?"

My brows lift, my words coming out in a jumbled mess, "I-I don't know, I-"

And then she's pulling out the knife without thought, his blood pooling out with the little life left in him. My hand automatically slams onto his deep wound, and I begin to feel his blood rushing through my fingers. "No! You're going to make this worse!"

She grabs my chin, and I realise there's a river of tears flowing down my cheeks. They settle on Lauren's harsh grip, and I feel her pressure increase. "Science is out the window, Tris. Now heal him."

But I can feel him loosen, and I know there's no healing involved. His detached body sits heavy against me, and I start to feel myself slipping.

"Now, Tris!"

I squeeze my eyes shut, pressing him as close to me as this reality allows. My mind's turned in one of Athua's snow storms, and all I'm looking for is the sun on the horizon. That bit of hope I sensed this morning would be meaningless without him.

And then all I can think about is the day we met. Those provoking remarks we were making to each other, so needy to just get under both of our skin. His presence was a blazing fire, igniting over and over again by each push.

And how that annoyance turned into some sort of friendship. The smiles he would give me when our eyes met, the confident smirks over the dinning table, the heart clenching grins we would share when with our friends. And then he would look at me like I was the only person in the room. Those smirks would fall, and in those moments I would want one of us to just make the first move already.

And then he does, and I'll never forget how Tobias kisses me. Soft, but forceful. Light, but with a plethora of meaning. He's been the sun in my darkest time, the warmth that blooms my spring flowers, the light that wakes me up in the morning.

And if he's lost to the world, then I may as well be too.

"Tris, look!"

But my eyes stay closed, my hammering heart increasing as I feel it. The small movement of his chest, then a full intake of air. But I don't dare let go. What if I release him and he's gone again? What if I haven't finished the job yet?

"Princess?" He mumbles. And just like that, his voice breaks my dam. My strong grip on him goes, my forehead dropping onto his shoulder like a cluster of rocks. Sobs rack through me, the relief of him being alive overwhelming my system. I feel him reposition under me, and soon his warm palms are holding my head up. Tears keep me from him, undying, relentless things.

He takes an unsteady breath, "I'm alright, Tris. I'm okay."

I nod, knowing this. He pulls me in, both of our legs still sprawled across the grass. I hold onto his midsection tightly, pressing my ear into his strong beating heart.

"I'm okay," he whispers into my ear. And between his words of confirmation, and his steady heart, I begin to find my composure. He's still here, and as long as he stays by my side, I'll never lose him- I won't allow it.

When I finally pull back, I seek out his face. My tears turn into silent streams, slow enough that I can finally see.

My hands reach out, fingertips landing on his full lower lip. I can feel his exhales bush across my skin, and when I look into his dark eyes, they're bright, alive.

And then I have no control as I pull him towards me, our lips finally colliding. Any lasting thought of him still being injured leaves my mind, the only thing taking up that vast space is the need to feel him moving against me- his beating heart pumping that ever essential blood that lets his hands grip my hair, let his lips move rhythmically with mine.

But then he's pulling back, and the coldness of his absence brings our reality back into focus.

Holding his face, I take him all in. And as he stares back into my own soul, those three hefty words sit on the tip of my tongue. My heart screams at me to just say them, but I'm biting my lip, digging my teeth in hard enough that I have time to think that choice through. When I release myself, I say, "do you think you can stand?"

He's nodding before I even finish, "yeah, obviously."

And with that oh so Tobias response, the fog in my brain clears. Resisting rolling my eyes, I come up onto my knees, "just take it slow, okay? I don't want you doing any more damage."

He gives me one of his stupid school boy grins, "what damage?"

But he does what I say, thankfully. He presses his hands into the yellow grass, using his palms to help manoeuvre his position onto his knees. I'm there then, concern prevalent with nothing to stand on. My hands hover, unsure where to help.

"I'm fine, Tris." He assures, finally coming up onto his feet.

But he's wobbly, and each breath he takes shakes his large chest.

This time, when I hold onto his arms, it's for me, not him. "Tobias," I say quietly, "you just died."

He stares back into my wide eyes, not seeming a little bit as concerned as I am. But I do see the crease between his eyes deepen slightly, like he's finally trying to understand the magnitude of what's happened.

"Good thing I have you then, isn't it?"

And it's gone. And I know there's nothing I could say at this moment to drill the severity of what's just happened into his head. My hands twitch with agitation, and I shake my head.

"Okay then," I let go of his arms, moving around him. I look up the hill, my eyes about to hit the tracks, "you'll be okay to jump onto the tra-"

You're joking. There, with the afternoon sun shining behind him, stands Snow.

Majestic as ever, my young horse holds his place confidently on the hill, staring down on us. With the amount of emotions still running through me, I'm swallowing my sobs as I watch him slowly decline. No more tears, it's getting embarrassing.

I move towards him, keeping my pace to a slight jog. In reality, I want to throw myself at the baby horse, thankful for his safety, and his allegiance. But I know we're not at that stage yet.

"I think our luck has just turned," I say, mostly to myself, as I get to Snow. He lets me pet him without hesitation this time, and I know we're ready to go.

Turning back to Tobias, I remember that Lauren is still with us. She stands close to Tobias, pointing at his back with more annoyance and concern than I can muster. Until he takes this situation more seriously, I won't put any more effort into it either.

"I wouldn't waste your breath, Lauren," I call over. They both turn around, and when Tobias eyebrows pull in, I raise mine. "He says he's fine, so let's get moving." I waggle Snow's reins for extra effect.

Before they move towards me, Tobias is saying something to Lauren. She listens for a few moments, before nodding her head. Then, instead of walking towards me as Tobias does, she bears towards Dauntless.

She glances at me one last time before giving a small wave, then moves into a jog. When Tobias finally gets to me, she's half her size.

He touches my waist, and I know what he's thinking. When was the last time we were alone? At the rocks that stormy afternoon?

I hit off his hand, and ready Snow's reins.

"Tris…"

"Get up Tobias, and sit on the back saddle."

Taken aback, the only thing he seems to be able to get out is, "the back saddle?"

Putting my foot in the stirrup, I pull myself up. "I don't care if you're in tip top shape. My horse, my seat." As I wait for him to finish huffing and hop on, I lean down and shuffle around in the saddle bag. When my fingers skim the fragile paper, I heave a sigh of relief. And just to make sure it's there for certain, I lift it up slightly. The picture of the cliffs stare back, so I let go, and re zip the bag.

He's mumbling under his breath as he pulls himself up. I watch as he, not very gracefully, climbs onto the back of Snow. Either from the lack of practice getting onto the back saddle, or from his obviously aching body, he takes a while to get situated.

"You done?"

I feel his knuckle just skim my lower back as he moves to grab my waist. I suck in an unstable breath, unable to concentrate on anything as his palms find their home just above my hips.

"I'm expecting a smooth ride back."

Grabbing Snow's reins, I press my stretching lips together. "You're going to be sorely disappointed."

…

"Tris, Snow needs a break. Stop pacing and sit down with me."

I turn around, my crossed arms pressing tighter into my upper stomach. Snow, just behind him, drinks out of a clear stream. The horse seems grateful for the break, and I know my aching body should be, too.

But as I look at Tobias leaning against a wide tree, all I can think about is the clock counting down.

"If I sit down then I'm never getting back up," but I do concede slightly, moving over to him and leaning against the tree. "Do you have the time?"

I feel him tug on the hem of my riding trousers, "you have time to sit."

"I'll sit when you decide to take your physical death seriously."

He laughs, "compared to what? My spiritual death?"

My foot kicks him in the thigh, but it only makes him laugh harder.

I slowly couch down, our two dispositions on either end of the scale. "Tobias," I say slowly, "please just talk to me. I don't know if you're in shock or you don't understand the severity of this, but-"

"Tris," he mimics, his eyes locked onto mine, "I appreciate your concern, but there's not much to tell you. I don't really remember what happened. One moment there's just a pressure in my back, and the next I'm saying your name." He shrugs, turning back to look into the flowing steam, "If I had more to divulge you in, I would. We're a team, remember?"

My feet shuffle beneath me, and I'm sat with him on the ground, my back against his tree. "As long as you remember that."

He takes my awaiting hand, his head twisting down to me, that boyish smirk plastered on his lips, "how could I ever forget?"

He takes advantage of our close proximity, pressing his lips to my own. As familiar as my own, I pull him in.

My mind fizzled out, the scrape of the tree against my shoulder a mere blow of wind as my body drinks him in. My hands travelled up his torso, squeezing, pulling him closer. And his copy, pulling me away from the breeze, into his shelter.

He takes in a breath, and I let my body take control. My lips move to his neck, just below his ear. His warm skin greets me excitedly as a shiver runs through him. Smiling against him, my lips treacle up through his jaw, past his cheek, and hover over his awaiting mouth.

"Can I ask you something?" He breathes out.

One of his palms holds the side of my neck, the other cupping just under my own ear. Looking up through heavy eyes, I say, "of course."

"You and Xavier…"

My features pull in, and my body tries to move back on its own accord. Why would he be thinking of me and Xav at this specific moment?

He doesn't let me get far, his face turning sheepish. "Don't answer if you don't want to, but this thing has been on my mind for longer than I care to admit-"

"Just spit it out, Tobias," I sigh, my body itching for the talking to be done with.

But he lets go of me, and when he finally asks, his eyes are anywhere but mine. "How far did you two go? Like, you know…"

Brows pulling in, I watch as he plucks a daisy from the ground. With his attention forcefully onto the small flower, I let my amusement fill my face.

"You want to know if I'm a virgin or not?"

His daisy falls, and he's doing damage control, "no, no! That not what I was getting at-"

I laugh then, his small amount of squirming is enough for today. "I know, Tobias. You're just asking in a polite way."

He presses his lips together, shaking his head.

"Would it bother you if I wasn't?"

He leans back onto the tree, and thinks it over. "No, I don't think so."

Good enough, I guess. "There were a few times I was close to letting go, especially in the last year." He doesn't look at me as I speak, but I don't mind, "but there always seemed to be some pestering voice in the back of my head, telling me to hold on." I find my own daisy on the floor, plucking at its petals. "I'm going to believe it was the universe telling me I needed to wait."

He does look at me then, kind of shyly. My heart expands more than I thought capable, his entire body turning from Dauntless's Prince, into just Tobias. "So…" I carry on, grinning, "any girls ever take your fancy?"

I let myself make a joke out of it, awaiting his response. A lot of the time, I don't let myself think too hard about situations that may disrupt my peace. And this one, if he's ever been with a girl, someone who knows his body better than I do, makes me wonder if it, too, would upset me.

"You should feel special enough to know that you're the only girl to ever turn my head."

Any shyness I could have shown is lost to the wind. My lips peel into a stretched smile, my eyes crinkling at their corners. "So, we're on the same page, then?"

He pulls me in, his confidence back in full force, "forever on the same page." His lips meet mine in one fellow swoop, endorphins running through my body like never before.

And I would stay here forever, just me and Tobias and this small part of the world that we could ever so easily call ours. But the clock doesn't stop for anyone, Prince and Princesses included.

So we pack up shortly after, grabbing a rejuvenated Snow, and get back on track.