She thoughtfully put the tray together with all the items she needed for her small Holi blessing. Carrying it with her she set it on their grand dining table before walking through to her bureau where the guards had delivered her a note already.
Pausing in front of the mirror she inspected herself better, she had one of her old soft, white, summer dresses on. Today was going get very messy indeed with all the coloured powders for Holi. They celebrated each year with a little Gulal, but this year on Thorins own suggestion she had ordered a fair bit more hoping a few other dwarves from Erebor might join! Now she just felt stupid for it, since they were barely talking, and she wasn't even sure whether anyone else would join.
Carefully, she lit the small lamp on her tray and moved to the parlour where she had hung her painting of several Hindu Gods and to her surprise found the twins, Fili, Kili, Tauriel, Thorongil, Imli and Lola waiting patiently, all dressed in white, with their shoes removed as one would traditionally for a Hindu Blessing!
Then Dis joined too, also dressed in white and carrying Seraeya who had been dressed up.
They all stood waiting for her, wearing the biggest, silliest grins on their faces.
"Did we surprise you Mama?" Arun squealed in excitement as his brother grasped his hand and raised it in the air as if celebrating some huge victory!
"Oh my goodness! Yes you have all really surprised me! Thank you!" She smiled graciously.
"We even said you have to put your hands together like this to everyone when you say your prayers-" Thrain pressed his hands together to demonstrate again.
She smiled and nodded.
"They have asked for an urgent inspection down in the mines, so Thorin, Dwalin and Balin are all down there with Bofur, so they won't be here until later, but asked that you begin without them anyway." Dis added stepping forward and whispering gently.
"Oh okay then." Shobha nodded. In some ways she expected Thorin to avoid her, but at the same time all these years he had always made it a point to be there with her when she celebrated her Hindu festivities. In fact he was usually the first to have a tilaka drawn on his forehead by her using the red powder. "I guess we had better get the day started..."
They had all fallen silent as she said her prayers, with Arun and Thrain taking turns to ring the small bell. Then finally after the blessing, and receiving their red ochre dots, each of the party had set off on their walk to the great gates. It was just outside here that they had planned to celebrate with the coloured powders.
She had felt very distracted for the last few days after Thorin had visited her last. He had behaved so coldly towards her before, she assumed he had no feelings left for her, but now with his last interaction, she wasn't sure.
It didn't matter - she reminded herself, because if he truly loved her, he would try to make things work.
Their group continued along the main corridors out towards the grand entrance.
Everyone in the group quietly fell back as she carried on walking, her mind still lost in thought over her husband.
Soon she had walked ahead of her group of close family and trusted friends and when she passed through the great Gates, several sets of guards all turned to salute her. In that moment the all familiar sound of their fists being brought down onto their breastplate filled everyone's ears. How they happened to time it so that all eight guards at the gate made their salute in unison, she never knew.
"So I have left the coloured powders or Gulal in big open basins along the bridge and the entrance..." She glanced over her shoulder at everyone lagging behind her. The truth was, even though Holi was her favourite festival, she felt miserable because of what was going on between herself and Thorin. "Come on..."
She hated herself for letting his stupid, stubborn behaviour affect how she felt about this, when she loved how the twins and many others seemed excited to join in with Holi this year!
But, stepping through the giant gates to Erebor, she halted as she came face to face with a sight that was undeniably incredible!
In fact it was such an amazing sight, she had to blink several times to check that she wasn't dreaming or imagining it all!
Standing there before her was, what could only be described as a sea of Ereborean dwarves, all dressed in white tunics and dresses.
"Happy Holi my dear!" Mara grinned as she stood at the very front of the group, moving towards her to give her a big hug.
"My lady," Gloin bowed from behind her. Even he wore a white tunic over his usual dark trousers.
"Surprise Mama!" Both twins shouted from behind. Arun had now found his way onto Kili's shoulders, while Thrain, who looked more and more like a mini version of Thorin with each passing day, waved from atop Imli's shoulders.
"Oh my goodness! Did you all organise this..?!" She glanced from Mara to the others in the group who stood behind her.
"Not really my dear," Mara linked her arm in Shobha's. "These are all the dwarves who have ever met you in Erebor. Many you have treated in the infirmary, and many others you have helped in some other way - with a loan or by purchasing something from them to help their trade... They all have their own story as to why they are proud to call you their Queen..."
"Aye, and they all wrote to us asking to take part in your special celebration, to help you feel at home and welcome in Erebor," Fili smiled coming to flank her on her other side. "They all wished you to know that they consider you as their own, and hope you consider them as your people..."
"And... After we discovered how many wished to take part in this celebration, Thorin agreed to grant them all a day of paid holiday just yesterday," Mara added with a gentle smile, hoping deep down that whatever discord lay between them was being out to rest in his generous offer towards his own Queen. "He has even arranged with Bombur and Elin to have a feast set out for later today!"
"Oh..." Shobha blinked again in surprise at everyone, suddenly wiping her eyes with her free hand to stop any tears that threatened to spill. "Well... In that case..."
Slowly, she let go of Mara's arm and moved towards the first two large dishes, that stood securely on tall metal stands piled up high with bright coloured powders.
Reaching out she grabbed several fistfuls of powder and slowly turned towards the twins...
...
"It's most certainly been tampered with, Sir," the young dwarf concluded, standing beside the large mining machinery. "And it's going to take several days to get it going again."
"Sabotage?" Bofur muttered shaking his hat, which made the ends jiggle.
"And you are certain?" Thorin asked again holding up the lantern to the giant drilling machine, where there was clear damage.
"Aye, your Majesty." The dwarf bowed his head again. "The other machines are the same."
"It's too coincidental, all the machines," Balin gently brushed his fluffy white beard. "Even some of the refining machines have been damaged."
"It's just enough to slow down the mining we need to have done to make the order in time." A second dwarf covered in grime spoke up. "We were already going to struggle after the lads asked for the day off to join in our Queens celebration, your Majesty - but now we are in real trouble."
"How much are we short on?" Thorin turned to Dwalin and Balin.
"We have only filled half the order as it stands," Dwalin confirmed.
"Then we fill the rest from our own armoury."
"That's not a good idea laddie, it would leave us in a bad place if we should be attacked."
"But we can draw up the gates and lay in the mountain until we have enough made." Thorin countered. "It is unlikely we would be attacked anyway -"
"Och donnae count on it - and this time who's ta say the Iron Hills won't take their time to come out for us eh?" Dwalin frowned. "Dain isn't in full control there."
"What about the mines in Ered Mithrin?"
"They stopped mining weeks ago, Thorin." Balin shook his head unhappily. "Many of the dwarves there with families have left since our men were slowly drawn back. It's no use anyway - to get it all started again will take at least another week at best."
"We're not going to fill this order of weaponry on time." Thorin growled in frustration.
"There are delays in such large orders all the time, laddie. And Gondor were so pleased with their previous delivery, I do not think it will be a problem." Balin attempted to reassure him although it didn't seem to have any sway on the dwarf King.
"We need to find Nori.. urgently," Thorin leant in and whispered to both Fundins, who nodded in complete agreement.
...
Thorin ran his hand over the soft white tunic he had hung along with his spare suits in his study. He had intended to join her today, but after all the problems that he had encountered in the mines and with his intended trades with Gondor and Rohan, he had lost all desire.
But all the same he had not been ready to forgive her yet.
He touched the tunic again, he had his made some months ago just before her revelation to him that day on the stone bridge. In some ways, he now wished that she had taken her secret to the grave, for surely he would have just as easily believed any other reason for Aruns gift.
"The truth does not set you free." He mumbled to himself irately.
Slowly he moved to the window to watch below as the large gathering of dwarves seemed to be thoroughly enjoying the Hindu festival of Colour!
Their once white clothing, a strange sight for dwarves in the first place, was now awash with coloured powders, as were their clothes, hair, beards and faces.
He could help himself as he smiled, watching the mirth and laughter below of the utter mayhem and chaos. Dwarves in general loved a good party and drunkard disarray was a perfectly apt sport for most male and female folk alike. But this colourful chaos was apparently something even more enjoyable!
Many were laughing and grinning as they threw various coloured powders about, some aimed their scatterings up in the air, producing plumes of colour, like eruptions of rainbow volcanic dusts, while others happily threw handfuls of colour directly at one another. Then there were some who had taken to turning it all into a song and dance throwing colour about as they danced to a rhythm that clearly existed only in their own heads.
The younglings had created their own space together closer to the gates and ran about wildly through puffs of rainbow dusts like strange mythical sprites that disappeared in and out of rainbows. They screamed, and giggled in delight, twirling, and clapping their hands.
He could even spot his two sons riding atop the shoulders of Imli, and Kili, with Tauriel close by. The tall elleth stood out in the crowd, as she supervised the two princes, regularly passing them handfuls of Gulal, although she looked less than impressed with the seeming madness that was taking place around her. Even Dis stood near the entrance sitting down with Seraeya, who had her own little tray of powder she was playing with while sitting in his sister's lap, with Fili close by who chuckled happily at his baby cousin!
Watching his people happy, made him resent less his decision to give the miners and smiths the day off, even if it meant causing a delay in his trade with Gondor and Rohan.
And then he spotted her, again taller than the others, wearing one of her summer dresses, as she appeared to be engaged in throwing coloured powders at Mara and Lola. The other two dams were returning her throws with equal gusto, and dwarves that got in between as they engaged in their own activities inevitably got hit too. Some bowed to their Queen as they continued on their way, some appeared to be thanking her or wishing her something as they carried on.
At one point she ducked out of the way to check back with the twins, each of whom rubbed a grubby coloured hand on their mothers cheek before kissing her. It also meant she got attacked by Imli, Kili, Fili, Thorongil and a less enthusiastic attempt by Tauriel.
Then she danced through the crowds, gracefully for one so tall moving through a mass of rotund dwarves engaging in colourful warfare, reaching his sister and their daughter. There she appeared to chastise Dis, mockingly for being so clean apparently and scattered the Princess Royal of Erebor with the handfuls of powder, before laughing and picking up Seraeya and twirling her in the air!
He had been watching her for months since he decided to punish her with his distance. And this was the first time he had seen her genuinely smile or laugh in all that while. It made his heavy heart feel a little lighter, and his burdens seem a little more distant.
It made him ache to join her, hold her, and even kiss her soft, full lips.
...
The feast after the celebration had been equally messy, with many dwarves bringing handfuls of Gulal in their pockets and handkerchiefs to continue to party indoors, apparently having not had nearly enough.
Shobha sat at the head table, with Fili and Dis occupying the seats beside her, instead of Thorin. It was a notable absence, but she had now fully expected it.
Many of the other noble dwarves and dams had joined in the banquet later despite having abstained from festivities earlier. Their disgusted expressions at the madly coloured Hoi-polloi occupying the rest of the banquet halls of Erebor summed up their feeling towards the whole affair, including their Kings choice of bride.
There were even mentions of the 'Consorts heathen festival from the east' in hushed discussions heard from afar!
Sitting there, she had no real appetite, pushing her food about the plate with her cutlery was the best she could manage as she checked on how her children were as they sat nearby and tucked in hungrily.
Today she was tired. All the initial planning and anticipation, was now followed by utter fatigue.
She took a disinterested sip of her wine and instantly regretted it as she realised how strong it was, when she was interrupted with a tap on the shoulder.
"Shobha, I need you to do something for me."
Looking up, she found Mara beside her looking a little worried.
"Those hacks are all wondering why Thorin can't join even briefly. And that old witch is trying to use this to convince them all that there is a separation between you both," Mara whispered.
"I knew it!" Dis interrupted them from where she sat. "What has been going on -"
"Nothing." Mara retorted on behalf of Shobha, who was struggling to reply. "There has been some big problem in the mines - Gloin was called away a few hours ago too. But those stupid cows want to use it to plug this whole mistress nonsense."
"So what are we going to do about it? Because the rumours have been flying about for weeks now." Dis looked at Shobha suspiciously. "You can't let them undermine you both like this - do you wish for me to speak with my brother -"
"No!" This time both Mara and Shobha were quick to reply. Gloins wife, knew of some trouble, although she didn't press the woman she considered her close friend for any more details than she wished to reveal.
"Very well." Dis frowned. "Keep your secrets then. But know that I am not your enemy."
"Aye it's all rumours, Dis." Mara patted her on the shoulder gently in reassurance, before turning to Shobha. "I want you to take a plate to him in his study with a carafe of wine... and make a bit of a show about it."
"That is a splendid idea Mara!" Dis nodded also looking at Shobha now.
She squirmed a little, uncertain about this plan. Neither of these dams knew how bad her relationship with Thorin had truly become. And she didn't relish the idea of sitting in silence for a bit while he ate – probably grumpily because of her presence.
"Well...?"
"I really don't know... I mean - he's busy right?" Shobha began only to have both dams frown at her again.
"This really wasn't a request, my dear." Mara confirmed. "I am holding off the rumours for you but you have to do the rest to make it look genuinely true."
"Besides what's the problem?" Dis rolled her eyes. "I know for a fact the guards have stopped me entering because the two of you were bonking in there on several occasions in the past. It's no secret to all that Thorin has an appetite that only you can seemingly satisfy... And three children is quite an achievement for any dwarven marriage. It shows off how virile he is – even at HIS age, and how fecund you are, my dear. That is the advantage you bring over any other silly dam that tries to jiggle her behookas at the King."
"Come on. Elin has prepared a tray for me now." Mara urged her still, coaxing her almost physically to get up.
But as Shobha slowly stood she looked around the room, noticing all eyes were indeed on her.
"What about the children?"
"Lola, Dis and I will get them all to bed and baby sit for the evening." Mara frowned as if it was always a given. "Now come on."
"Wait -" Dis stopped them both before turning to Shobha and handing her a glass of wine. "Have the glass. As much as we would all pretend not to know - he will certainly want you after a day like this. And the way you look right now all flushed, messed up and covered in these colours - even I would want you!"
"That is very good thinking Dis!" Mara nodded tipping her hand up to almost force the wine down Shobha's throat. "And Mahal knows you havent had time to prepare yourself. The dwarves are so well endowed and sometimes too impatient for us ladies to relax properly. My Gloin even as short as he is, is enormous! One can only imagine how a tall dwarf like the King is decorated down south - so drink up!"
"There is some Dorwinion mixed in with this wine - one glass will do." Dis agreed watching as Shobha drank deeply, while continuing to nutter to herself. "Mahal knows how many babes will be conceived tonight after this festival of yours! Spring festival - might as well call it a fertility festival!"
Before she could do much more she found Elin handing her a plate covered with a cloche together with a carafe of wine.
Taking one last glance behind her to spot everyone at the King's table were once again preoccupied in conversation, even the twins and her toddler appeared to be entirely content in their own little conversations. And so, feeling a little nervous she carried on out of the banquet hall towards Thorins study.
At worst she could sit there for a few minutes coping with the hatred he tended to emanate towards her these days, before slipping out and back to their apartment to sleep off the wine.
And then as she reached Thorins study she paused outside his door, suddenly feeling silly about the whole ruse. But she also found herself wondering how she looked. Perhaps it was the strong wine, but she paused attempting to check her reflection, pointlessly, on the shiny surface of the cloche.
"My lady, our King is in his study, if that is what you are wondering..." One of the guards quietly suggested.
"No lad, pull your cloak aside, and let our Queen check her reflection in your armour!" The other, older guard guessed more appropriately.
"Of course!" He turned to her and pulled his dark blue cloak aside. The King's guard typically wore polished silver armour, and dark blue cloaks, colours favoured by Thorin and his grandfather before. While the 'Queens Guard' proudly wore more ostentatious golden armour with red cloaks, as worn historically for Thror's Consort. "Although if I may say so myself, your ladyship, you always look like you were made in the image of Yavanna herself."
"Oh... Thank you..." She glanced up at the young guards face to find him blushing.
"Stop embarrasing yerself Oleg, and let her Majesty inspect herself." The other guard chastised again. "Not to worry milady, ye shan't be interrupted this evening. We will see to it. Mahal knows his Majesty has been miserable for many months now without your visits, so I imagine he will be most grateful for your company this evening..."
His words slowly registered with her a few moments later, and she found herself more distracted wondering what much of Erebor thought of their relationship! Clearly they all perceived them both as sex addicts of some sort!
She attempted to brush through her messed hair with her hands to little avail, while struggling to concentrate. Apparently the combination of that stronger wine and the fact that she hadn't really drunk in a while since the time she fell pregnant with Seraeya had made her much tipsier than she expected.
"What ARE you doing my lady?"
Her thoughts were interrupted by the deep, velvety voice of her husband.
She snapped up straight, from where she was hunched and attempting to fix how she looked using Oleg's breastplate, almost spilling the carafe.
"I think you had better come in." He grunted, watching her walk into his study looking a bit dazed. Then realising they were not alone at all as several lords and ladies stood loitering in the distance, appearing to have a conversation, he spoke up louder addressing the guards. "Please make sure we are not interrupted."
Satisfied that they had heard, but uncertain what to do with her, he walked back in and shut the door.
"Here... Some food. I think Dis thought you hadn't eaten since lunch, so..." She sighed as she set the plate down in a free space on his desk. "But I wouldn't drink the wine. At least not if you have plans for work tonight."
"I suppose you have heard the rumours also then...?" He began unhappy about how some of the nobility had taken advantage of the distance that had grown between them in recent months. "I want you to know that -"
"Look Thorin, I think you made yourself quite clear. All I want to say is that if you want to end things between us, then do me the curtesy of letting me know, rather than keeping me hanging here." The words came out of her although she hadn't really planned to say anything. Perhaps it was the wine and how fed up she had grown over the months. "I certainly don't want my children seeing you openly having some sordid affair or a string of mistresses. It undermines me as their mother and it will make them resent you."
He sat down in his chair, heavily. This was not a conversation he had ever dreamt of having, even after her revelation. She didn't hold his gaze after speaking. And moved towards his bookshelf instead, slowly inspecting his books as she always did when she visited him here. It seemed to be a comfort for her to run her delicate fingers over the leather spines embossed and printed in gold. She seemed to pick out the books in Weston to read but had a strange tactile preference for the volumes in Khuzdul, clearly enjoying her fingers tracing over the runes. Watching her reminded him of how much she enjoyed doing the same with the tattoos inked onto his body, and his battle scars.
Sitting at his desk he glanced wearily at the letter he was writing to Rohan and Gondor regarding the weaponry he had promised. The machinery had indeed been sabotaged, and repair would take at least a week, which meant it would not be delivered for at least another month. If either of their rulers were unhappy, and hearing of the problems with the wild men there was every chance Rohan would look elsewhere, it would provide the perfect opportunity for the Iron Hills to step in.
Watching her was a strange relief to his mind, as she moved about quietly looking through his books oblivious to the trouble on his desk.
In spite of her statement it appeared that she did not seek out a resolution immediately.
All he wanted was for HER to beg him to take her back. He had examined his own heart now for many moons and he had concluded having no intent of letting her go, or giving her up. He simply wanted to punish her. A thought that made his body tingle.
"Where is your marriage braid?" He questioned with a frown. Her marriage beads were still in her hair but not very visibly so.
"I... Undid them to wash my hair like I always do. But I dont know how to do a four strand plait... And you haven't exactly..." She hesitated to quantify what exactly was happening here. "So I just did what I could. And no one notices since I just tie my hair back anyway a lot anyway -"
"Apparently some HAVE noticed." He snapped back standing up to move towards he and inspect her hair better.
"No. You have only yourself to blame for that." She batted his hand away. "I am not some play thing to be handled and pushed away as you like."
He swore in khuzdul as she slapped his hands away again.
"Have it your way then." He stomped back to his desk before sighing as he re-examined his paperwork.
"So you mean you haven't taken your braid off even to wash?"
"No. You placed that braid in my hair..." He trailed off realising that she recalled exactly when she braided his hair last. It had been after the last night they had made love several times over. And apparently, from the way in which her cheeks were aflush, she too recounted it very well indeed. "I have not removed it even to wash. But your skills in braiding hair are not too difficult to replicate should I ever need to do so."
She laughed at his jibe. It had been one that he often used on her, when they lay naked together after making love, and braiding each others hair. But it never seemed to grow old for her.
He shuffled some papers about on his desk again in frustration, and the reached for the plate of food she brought up lifting the cloche, only to cover it back again. The truth was until this problem was resolved he had no appetite.
"Oh - did you want me to get out of your hair?" She offered, shutting the book she had begun to read. "It's okay I think this is enough time for... Yes... Well."
"No - stay." He replied before he could stop himself. His tone was a little more pained, since he found he could be himself around her as always, in a way he could not for any other dwarves. Not even his closest in the company. "If you wish.."
She frowned looking at him for the first time for longer than a few moments. It had been painful to do this before, since she was certain he hated her. But now hearing his voice, she felt moved.
"What are you struggling with there?" She asked quietly taking a tentative step towards his desk, fully expecting him to ask her to leave. In the past he had at times discussed ideas with her over problems that arose in the kingdom or political and trade matters than at times needed a fresh opinion, which she was happy to help with. But for quite a while now, they had stopped talking. In fact since Aida's arrival, anything related to politics had made Shobha slink away quickly.
"We have been having many accidents and equipment failures in the mines of late..." He admitted. "But now our trade with Gondor and Rohan have been affected. An urgent shipment of weaponry that Rohan ordered from our smiths will be delayed by at least a month and that will allow anyone in direct competition to offer their services -"
"How much have you already made of the requested order?" She asked surprised at how he appeared interested in her opinion.
"Only half. The other half will take at least another two weeks to have made and that means a delay of a month after factoring delivery time by cart." He watched as she walked over to stand by his chair and glance over the parchment on his desk, the maps showing the route to Rohan and the letter he was writing to Thengel. "Balin suggests we merely let them know of the delay..."
"But Rohan have been increasingly raided by the wild men. They will need those weapons urgently." She concentrated on the map again. "You can't risk any short cuts - you need to take the safest route to make sure they are delivered... So how long does that take?"
"About ten days, possibly two weeks if there are any troubles on the road or inclement weather." Thorin replied watching her closely as she stood beside him completely oblivious to how close she stood as she examined his paperwork again along with the map. "Is this the route?"
"Aye." He suppressed a smile at how interested she was.
"And people take this route too?"
"Aye. As do any horses that are bought from the Riddermark." He wanted to know what was going through her mind, but didn't dare ask in case he interrupted her before she came to her conclusion.
She paused again for a while, her hand running over the map to Ered Mithrin's colony. Before she returned back to Erebor.
"Why don't you send the half you have already made. And promise the other half later when it is ready." She suggested glancing at him before looking at the map again.
"And what if the Iron Hills should make a counter offer for the remaining?" He raised an eyebrow, wondering what her solution to his greatest worry was.
"Then you offer the rest of the promised weaponry for free." She announced. "You don't need the money Thorin. Thror's hoard was enough for several lifetimes over, and the treasury is always in the positive from your trades. So consider it a goodwill gesture from Erebor, as friends of Rohan."
He watched her carefully, forehead furrowed as he carefully pondered the implications and then his lips twitched into the faintest of smiles as he nodded.
"I think that might just do it."
"You can then find out who is behind all this too. they can't make an offer to Rohan without letting Thengel know of their names..."
"That is well played indeed, my lady..." He sat back in his chair with a sigh of relief.
"Well... I'm glad I could help." She ran her hand over the map again. "How long does it take to reach the Shire?"
"It would take a good three weeks of travel my lady. A most arduous journey, requiring many stops along the way." He hoped it sounded terrible enough to discourage her from asking to visit Bilbo. It was a line of questioning he didn't care for now.
"And Rivendell?" She trailed her small hand down to Imladris. "I never did get to visit..."
"It would take two weeks. You would need to reach the pass first. I wouldn't recommend travel through the mountain path... Particularly not with children." He bristled, hoping to discourage her.
"Okay, well I can see I have outstayed my welcome so I had better go..." She concluded in response to his tone, pulling her hand away from the map again after some hesitation. Ulmo had promised to send her home after she completed one final task, she just needed to know how or where that would be from. Presumably the elves would have something to do with it, but would it be from Rivendell or Lothlorien. After all, the lady of the golden woods still had one of the rings of power.
"Please don't." He replied quickly, his voice quieter this time, but he reached out to her and gently tugged at her wrist.
She found herself caught off guard, spinning around surprised by his behaviour, that she nearly tripped. But his instant reflex was to catch her in his arms, pressing her body against his.
They stood there for a long moment, surprised by each other and how they found themselves.
"I have missed you Thorin..." she was the first to admit.
"And I you, my lady." He gazed into her big doe eyes, before he found himself pressing his lips to hers, in a gentle kiss, which he pulled away from after a few moments realising that she had stiffened in his arms. "I apologise my lady, I have needed you so much... It is crippling to discover a reliance on another."
"I know the feeling..." She breathed out, her relationship with him felt new again in a strange way.
"I need to feel your presence near me, my lady..." He ran his hands down her sides from her waist to her hips, squeezing her flesh. "I need this so very much."
Her breath was ragged now, as she found herself melting in his arms.
"It's even more crippling to realise how much hold another has on your heart..." Her breath fell in pants now as he continued to hold her, gazing into her eyes, his own azure irides dilated with lust.
"Do you wish me to stop...?"
"No! I think you need this..." She replied closing her eyes as she felt his hands roam her body over her clothes, reaching the lacing to the top of her dress.
"At least your guards fear that you might turn into a miserable old git if we don't bonk... So it's probably for the good of all Erebor right...?"
"Aye. Is that what they said...?" He smiled at her. "Perhaps I need to give them a pay rise for informing you that..."
"Maybe..." She whispered as he kissed her neck now.
"And you, my lady. Come in here with your clothes messy, your hair undone, shoes off, and a little tipsy for that matter... It is completely inappropriate as a Queen..." He hummed into her skin, revelling in the goosebumps he set over her chest as a result. "You are asking to be punished by your King..."
The truth was she really turned him on when she solved a problem that neither he nor Balin could resolve. And perhaps it was his abstinence for so long but right now he wanted her more than he could rationalise.
"Oh..." She opened her eyes to find him staring at her intently, and let her own hands drift down his body to find his trousers, straining under the pressure of his desperation. "Well... Maybe... I need this too... A little..."
She lied; His touch was like the first rain that fell on parched earth after an unseasonably long drought.
"Careful my Queen, withholding the truth from me and removing your marriage braids will ensure an increase in the severity of your punishment!" He claimed her mouth roughly this time, making her shiver, while he lifted up her skirts with one hand. "Now tell me in all honesty... Have you missed your King?"
"Ah... I suppose..." She closed her eyes as he was quick to find her heat, slipping his hand through the scant material that covered her modesty. "I... Guess..ah... A little..."
He abruptly pulled away, leaving her breathing harshly, before lifting her onto his desk, sending papers scattering across the floor.
"Have.. you... missed... your... King?" He kissed her with vigour again before tearing open her dress and returning to his work under her skirts, watching her face carefully.
"Yes! Yes! Yes!" She cried out as he brought her blindingly close to a climax only to stop, pulling his hand up to his lips and licking his fingers. "I have missed how sweet you taste my beauty..."
"Please Thorin..." She begged as he grasped her brown tipped peaks in his mouth one at a time, undoing his own trousers quickly and teasing her with the tip of his hardened cock.
"Please what?" He bit the delicate skin of her neck again before kissing it.
"Please... My King?" She arched her back hoping for some friction by tilting her pelvis.
"Are you EVER going to keep the truth from me again?" He growled watching her big brown eyes fly open as she struggled to concentrate.
"No! Now please.." she reached down desperately clutching at his clothing as she hung on the edge, and her release began to grow distant again.
"Patience... My little darling..." He batted her hands away several times before grasping them both in one hand and then pulling several pieces of her torn dress sleeves over her arms form a soft tie binding her wrists together. "I promise to give you want you want as soon as I am satisfied that you are a good girl..."
He trailed his hand down her body, returning once again to that perfect spot of pleasure where he began to build her up again.
"Thorin!" She yelled pulling her hands against her restraints now desperate for release. "Please!"
"Shhhh..." He soothed her with kisses, still watching her face carefully with cold blue eyes. "Tell me... Are you going to take out your marriage braid EVER again?"
"No! No! Just please -"
"That is a lie!" He bit her lip this time before pulling his hand away, leaving her panting again. "I know you... That braid will be out again tonight when you wash this beautiful hair of yours... I should just leave you tied up here on my desk and finish myself off..."
"Okay! I will come and find you hereafter, to do my hair if I ever take it out..." she managed to wriggle one hand out and slipped it down in an attempt to touch herself, which led him to slapping her errant hand harder.
"Escape your ties again, and next time I will use my belt on your wrists." He warned, his voice low and clearly still angry as he used a piece of her dress to bind her hands together tighter this time. "You hurt me unspeakably when you kept such a great secret from me. I believe that he is still my child, I see some resemblance - but I also see much that I imagine is akin to the Lord of the Waters. So I believe you now, that this is some complex magic woven by the Ainur..."
He grunted as he moved his own swollen hardness to tease her entrance again, when she attempted to writhe against him.
"No! You don't get to do that! I am the one who was wronged here! And I deserve to be angry!" He pulled away harshly pressing her pelvis down onto his desk. "I was betrayed! By YOU! The last person I expected to do that! And it involved our child!"
"But it was not something I had any say in Thorin!" She replied half pleading, half frustrated. "I had no choice. And he looked so much like you, I didn't even think it mattered."
"Next time you TALK to ME! And I will tell you if it does!" He growled back pinning her down on his desk and staring deep into her eyes as he positioned himself again. "Would you like it if I hid such a thing?!"
"No... And I'm sorry for that..." She sighed opening her legs up further and wrapping them around his muscular hips. "Please forgive me... I dont think I quite figured it out myself..."
He studied her face closely and satisfied that she did indeed speak the truth there he entered her in one go, making her explode with pleasure after denying her body for so long.
"Unwrap your legs." He grunted the order, slapping her right thigh sharply to get her attention. Then grasping her legs he lifted them over his shoulder and pulled her closer to the edge of the desk before pulling out and slamming back in hard with a hiss. "This is a marriage AND a partnership. I need you to LISTEN to me at least for that which is important and TALK to me!"
She fell silent for a moment, unable to focus on anything but the rhythm he was in control of.
"I'm sorry." She moaned softly. "But you don't always listen or talk to me... And you take control, which leaves me with no choice... Like now..."
He immediately picked her up, pulling out of her and sat on his chair before sitting her down on his lap.
"There. Now you're in control." He grunted positioning himself against her and thrusting his hips again so that she could feel his need. "But can you get the task done?"
She held her hands up to let him untie her, before he allowed his hands to drift down to her breasts, kneading them greedily. And she too began to move, lifting herself off and lowering down onto him completely.
"I need you to meet me halfway." She cried out as he thrust against her movements. "As a partnership."
His movement became more erratic as he soon climaxed with a roar soon after she did. And they sat there spent, with her body against his broad torso, while he gently stroked her long, dark hair. He took his sweat soaked tunic off and leant her back against his bare chest.
"Who is Thorongil?" He asked as their breathing slowed down.
"He will play a key role in the war of the ring..." she hesitated. "And become a King. But his secret and the reason he calls himself this right now, is not mine to reveal..."
"Very well, my lady." He stroked her hair again as they lay there in silence for a while each lost in their own thoughts. "These secrets you have kept and the harm they have caused... to us... will take time to remedy..."
"Thorin, I can't carry on like this, if you can't trust me. And maybe that is my own fault but no amount of time will remedy your distrust." She looked up at him from where she lay against his chest tracing the outlines of his various tattoos and scars. "If there is no trust there is nothing here for us..."
He watched her with his cold blue eyes, brushing several strands of hair back from her face.
"I trust you, my beauty, but it is not so straightforward as that.."
"Surely you don't share everything with me, do you?" She corrected him. "But I have to trust that you haven't been spending the night with anyone else while you haven't slept in our bed..."
"I have spent almost every night here. Except on some nights when you spent on the couch in the children's room, then I slept in our bed." He brushed her cheek with his hand tenderly. "My back is not what is used to be."
"Thorin." She sighed sitting up in his lap.
"Aye, my lady. You point is well made and I accept it fully." He leant over and kissed her again. "But if you squirm too much in my lap, you will have to deal with theYou will have to deal with the consequences." He warned.
"Okay, but you need to LISTEN to me too." She put forward her last condition. "And you are right, these things will take time to rebuild. But they require that commitment."
He watched her carefully again before responding.
"And I will accept it if this is no longer what you want, but you have to tell me..." She spoke the words before leaning her head back down against his chest. It was always a favoured place for her to lay, listening to the steady beat of his heart. "And we have to work at things together."
"You are worth all the gold in Erebor a thousand times over. I am a male, a dwarf and my pride wounded by your gentle hand, even if it was not your intent. I just need time," he tilted her chin up in his hand in order to look into her big brown, soulful eyes. "I would never release you from your marriage contract to me. And should you ever feel the need to run away, be sure that I would find you."
Her eyes began to well with tears. It felt as though they had taken a step forward only to take two steps back.
"I will hold you to that..." She whispered as she lay her head back against his chest.
"Do you regret what we just did?" he asked gently, stroking her back.
"No..." In truth she hadn't expected any of this. "I have to figure out my walk of shame back to the apartment."
"I will carry you," he offered. "It is the least I can do after I ripped your dress..."
"I would rather you didn't -"
"Well, you have no choice."
...