Kamp Krusty The kids go to Kamp Krusty, a summer camp ran by Krusty but have an awful time.
Plot
The chalkboard gag is "This punishment is not boring or pointless."
The couch gag is the Simpsons run into the lounge only to find Fred Flintstone and his family sitting on the couch. Fred kindly offers them a spot on the couch. a guitar riff plays.
...
Another day in Ms Krabappel's classroom.
"Well, children, it's the last day of school." said Mrs Krabappel.
"Yea!" Kids cheer.
"Here are your grades." She gives them their grades.
A dramatic leitmotif rings out as Bart finds he has all Fs...
"Oh, no, Mrs. Krabappel. If I don't get a "C" average, my dad won't let me go to Kamp Krusty." said Bart putting his hand up.
"Well, it isn't fair to the other children, but all right." Mrs K changes his grades to higher ones.
Obviously something isn't quite right that's she's being so nice...
"Much obliged, doll!" said Bart slapping her on the butt. um... okay... inappropriate...
Mrs Krabappel chuckes. "Oh, Bart Simpson, I'm gonna miss you."
"Attention, everyone. This is Principal Skinner." said Skinner.
"I trust you all remembered to bring in your implements of destruction."
Kids take out objects such as sledgehammers and axes. Well in particular Janey has a sledgehammer, Nelson has a flamethrower and Bart is dressed as Arnold Schwarzenegger as either Dutch from Predator or John Matrix from Commando. He has a machine gun too. Okay this is all very weird...
"Now, let's trash this dump." said Skinner.
Rock music plays. the song Schools Out by Alice Cooper is appropriate here.
"Somebody put a torch to these permanent records. Quickly, now." Skinner said while kids burnt the permanent records.
Third Grade. Oscar, Ace and Quiffy are smashing up the classroom with sledgehammers.
"This is all fun and all, but why are the teachers letting us do this?" Oscar asked. "They don't usually let us smash up the school..."
"Uh..." Quiffy pointed out they were all in a dreaming or thinking cloud. Bart was dreaming.
"Oh well, if this is a dream, I'm taking all my clothes off and running around naked!" said Oscar disrobing.
Ace winced uncomfortable.
Bart arrived while holding a molotov cocktail. "Come on guys! destroy the school!" He noticed Oscar was nude... "Oz why the hell are you nude?!"
"Wait i can't be naked in your dreams now..." Oscar frowned.
"No you can't..." Bart sighed.
...
We cut to reality, Bart is mumbling in his sleep.
"Wake up, boy." Homer gently wakes him.
Bart groans and rubs his eyes "I dreamt it was the last day of school."
"Well, it is." said Homer. He points out on Bart's calendar that it is the last day of term.
"Oh, how do I know this isn't Some beautiful dream too?" Bart asked.
Homer slapped him upside the head.
"Ow! You know, a pinch is more traditional." Bart whined.
Oscar's room, Marge gently wakes him. "Sweetie it's the last day of school."
Oscar yawns. "I had the strangest dream. Homer had a tree branch growing out of his mouth!"
"That's nice dear now let's check your diaper..." said Marge. She's pulling down his pyjama bottoms and checking his diaper is dry.
...
Breakfast.
Everyone is eating their breakfast loudly and rudely.
"Homer remember you had something important to tell the kids?" said Marge.
"Oh yeah. When you're 18, you're outta here!" said Homer.
"No. i meant about Kamp Krusty." said Marge.
"Oh yeah. kids you can only go to Kamp Krusty if you get good grades. i mean it." said Homer.
"Well you're looking at one happy camper." said Lisa.
"Just remember Dad, there's a new grading system, it goes backwards now. so F is the best grade." said Bart trying to trick Dad.
"Nice try boy... I wouldn't be a good father if i let you go to camp with Ds..." said Homer.
"Actually you would be a good father. Bart gets what he wants!" Oscar seethed.
Lisa frowned at Oscsr.
"Dad..." said Bart.
"Quiet! the lottery is on!" said Homer.
"The numbers are: 3."
"D'oh!"
"42..."
"Omg the meaning of Life!" Oscar yelled. Hehehehe! Hitchhikers Guide reference...
"D'oh!" Homer groaned.
"Homer! turn off that sinful debauchery!" Marge nagged.
"Marge gambling isn't a sin..." Homer sighed.
Marge grumbled.
"Does Oscar have to get good grades..." Bart asked.
"If he doesn't want to walk to camp..." said Marge.
"Oh! can i walk to camp if my grades are bad?" Bart cheered up.
"No! We can still set boundaries and authority over you! Oscar is a law unto himself, unfortunately." Marge replied sternly.
Oscar whistled nonchalantly.
...
The school corridor.
"Attention, students. Please clear out your lockers into the waste baskets provided." said Skinner.
Martin is counting his ants in his ant farm. "forty two, forty three..."
Nelson smacked the ant farm out of his hands. "Oh no!" It smashed and dirt and ants went everywhere.
"Haw Haw!" Nelson laughed.
Bart was going through his locker. "Lets see what in here..." There was a dead plant, A recorder. Apparently he plays the recorder. dried wads of gum and his gym socks.
"Ah my gym socks." He smacked them against his locker door, they had gone crusty and hard. He then folded them up into paper planes and threw them down the hallway. They flew away.
Oscar emptied out of his locker a partially full pack of diapers.
Ace grimaced at him.
...
Second Grade.
"Here are your final grade cards. I have nothing more to say to you.' said Miss Hoover. "Now let's all sit quietly and run down the clock."
The clock ticks.
"My cat's called Mittens." said Ralph.
"Be quiet Ralph." said Miss Hoover.
Lisa was horrified she didn't get straight As. she had one B.
"Uh Miss Hoover there seems to be a typo on my grade card! You gave me a B in Geography!"
"There's no typo Lisa. You're a bright student but nobody is perfect!" said Miss Hoover.
"YES I AM! I'M PERFECT!" Lisa yelled.
"Gee! Lisa's wound up tighter than a cuckoo clock!" said Rex. a theatrical or drama club student who later ironically goes apeshit when Ralph is chosen to be George Washington.
Fourth Grade.
Everything seems to be a repeat of Bart's dream in the opening scene.
"Well, children, it's the last day of school." said Mrs Krabappel.
"Yea!" Kids cheer. Except Martin. the insufferable dork loves school.
"Here are your grades." She gives them their grades.
A dramatic and moody trumpet leitmotif rings out as Bart finds he has all Fs...
"Oh, no, Mrs. Krabappel. If I don't get a "C" average, my dad won't let me go to Kamp Krusty." said Bart putting his hand up.
"Well that just tough." said Mrs Krabappel. She walked off.
Bart groaned and laid his head upon his folded arms and wept. Mrs Krabappel didn't care. Because this isn't a dream Bart!
Third Grade.
"Okay class here's your final grade cards. Oscar stop trying to jam things into another student's ears..." said Ms McConnell.
Oscar was trying to insert a pencil, eraser end first thankfully, into Inane Brian's ear.
Ace, a blond vampire boy was asleep at his desk snoring. He always wore a colourful helicopter beanie hat.
...
Recess.
Bart was glum.
"Your folks are serious about you not going to Kamp Krusty." Milhouse asked.
Bart laid across his folded arms and moaned an affirmative.
"Well you're not the only one disappointed in their final grades. Lisa threw the mother of all tantrums over her grades!"
Bart cheered up. "Did she?" He grinned.
"I'M PERFECT!" Lisa screamed.
Everyone stared at Lisa as she screamed and kicked her school bag frustrated she didn't get straight As.
"I actually pity her..." said Bart in a serious tone.
...
Home. Marge is trying to teach Hugo maths.
"Tom's bike costs $180 and costs $80 more than Clyde's. How much did Clyde's bike cost?" Marge asked while reading a maths book.
Hugo growled and jabbered in nonsensical gibberish before hurling his maths exercise book at her. luckily he missed.
Marge sighed.
"Marge why are you bothering trying to teach the Freak..." Homer sighed. I have no idea why he isn't at work today.
"Homer! He is not a freak! and we can't just keep him locked up in the attic! that's neglect!" Marge scolded him.
Homer sighed.
Lenny arrived. "Hi Lenny!" said Homer waving.
"Hey Homer! Why aren't you at work?" asked Lenny.
"I dunno, why aren't you?" said Homer.
"Ah touché." said Lenny.
Hugo growled and snarled.
"Nice kid, has he had his rabies shot yet?" Lenny asked.
Homer glared at Marge. "Take him inside. NOW!" He didn't want to answer questions about Hugo from curious neighbours.
...
School towards the end of the day.
"No Oscar you can't burn down the school with a flamethrower..." Miss McConnell sighed. Oscar Tamaki had a flamethrower.
A class sat eagerly waiting for the final bell to ring. The teacher discussed World War 2 in a boring tone like Ben Stein.
The bell rang. The kids poured out of the school cheering.
"Wait! We haven't found how World War II ended!" said the teacher. The kids all wait on the steps.
"We won!" said the teacher.
Everyone cheered.
"Why are you cheering?! You didn't win the war bravely or admirably! You nuked Japan back to the Stone Age and killed millions! You're monsters!" Oscar ranted.
Everyone booed him.
Everyone goes home on the bus.
"I haven't seen such unfettered hurly-burly since the fall of Saigon." said Skinner with distaste.
"Well, William, another school year gone by." He turned to his groundskeeper Willie.
"And may I say, a job well done, sir?" said Willie.
"Well, back to work then. Make sure to give those toilets a good scrubbing. We want the old girls sparkling when I get back." said Skinner. He went home.
"Aye, sir. Eh, you silk-wearing buttercup!" said Willie muttering.
On the bus.
"All right! Three whole months Of Spaghetti Os and daytime TV!" said Milhouse.
"So, Bart, will you be joining me in the bucolic splendour of Kamp Krusty?" Lisa said smugly.
"You bet. Check out this hand. All aces." Bart had forged his grades.
" A-plus! Oh, Bart, why didn't you at least forge plausible grades?" Lisa sighed in fits of mocking laughter.
"Says the girl who threw a tantrum today over her teacher not giving her Straight As..." Oscar cut in.
"I'M PERFEEEEEECT!" Lisa screeched.
Bart smirked.
"Oh! I think I'm getting a diaper rash..." Oscar groaned.
Kids laugh at him.
...
Home.
"Okay kids, report cards as promised." said Homer.
Bart confidently presents his forged Aces.
Lisa sighed.
"You must not think much of me boy..." said Homer.
"No not really." said Bart.
"It's easier to turn an uppercase F into a B than an A." said Homer.
Bart was crestfallen. "So I can't go to Kamp Krusty?"
"Well... I don't really want you mooching around here all summer." said Homer relenting. "Your mother and I are gonna be very passionate over the summer..." He whispered loudly in oh so many words that They, Ie Homer and Marge needed the kids gone and out of the house because they were feeling frisky...
"Eeeeeew!" Bart groaned.
"Homer J Simpson!" Marge yelled in a husky voice. Homer was startled.
"We made these kids a promise! only good grades genuinely earned get to go to Kamp Krusty!" Marge nagged. "Nice try Bart. I can tell when Tipex has been used..."
"So that's a no then..." Bart whimpered.
"Well I'm one happy camper!" said Lisa cheerful.
"I'd wipe that smile off your face young lady!" Marge said sharply. "The school called to say you threw a tantrum over getting a B! You're grades were admirable honey, but for your behaviour today, you're not going to camp either."
Lisa gasped horrified.
Bart stuck out his tongue at her.
Plot 2
Bart and Lisa were upstairs on the landing miserable.
"No Camp..." Bart sighed.
"No S'mores..." Lisa sighed.
"No Krusty..." They cried.
Oscar arrived from his room.
"Don't worry. Soon your folks will be singing a different tune... once I'm done with them..." said Oscar as his eyes glowed red for a few moments.
Lisa frowned but allowed him to help by undermining Mom and Dad.
Some time later the kids found Mom and Dad with burnt, sooty clothes and frazzled hair. "Kids we've been thinking, you can go to Kamp Krusty." said Homer nervously.
Bart cheered.
Lisa frowned at Oscar, wondering what he did to them that spooked them.
Homer then needed Bart to help him get a bone splinter or something out from under the lawn mower that was jamming its razor sharp blades...
"You've got short hands."
Bart approached the lawn mower. but it coughed up the offending item that was lodged in its blades and it purred.
"Uh... never mind..." said Homer.
Oscar was walking about the house.
"Not so fast, Short-pants." said Marge annoyed.
Oscar scowled.
"You can't just scare us and set fire to our hair to force us to spoil our kids!" said Marge.
"Yes I can. Now don't ever call me Short-Pants again!" Oscar snapped. He was holding a tiny fire ball in his hand.
Marge sighed knowing it was a bad idea to argue with a kid with evil powers.
...
Bart and Lisa watched The Krusty the clown show eager about camp as he mentioned all the fun things waiting at camp.
"We've got archery, wallet making, the whole Megillah..." said Krusty.
Then... "It's gonna be the bestest three weeks ever!" Krusty chortled.
"Oh god! bad grammer! Bad grammer!" Lisa was horrified by bad grammer.
"And the whole camp's built on an Ancient Indian Burial Ground!" Krusty finished explaining.
"AN INDIAN BURIAL GROUND?!" Homer bellowed like that time in Treehouse of Horror I.
"Oh not again..." Bart and Lisa groaned.
"Sorry kids but you know how I feel about Ancient Indian Burial Grounds..." said Homer.
"Nevermore." said the Bart Raven.
Later the kids start packing for camp.
"Bart where's your swimming trunks?" Marge noticed he wasn't packing his trunks.
"I'm gonna swim nekkid!" He meant naked but with an accent.
"What?!" Marge yelled.
"Sure I might offend a few blue nosed camp councillors... but i find the human body to be a-" said Bart.
"Bart you're not swimming naked! pack your trunks!" Marge nagged.
Bart sighed and did so.
Lisa went to see Dr Hibbert for some emergency boosters in case something bit her etc.
"I'll need a shot for malaria, Tetanus..." And some funny illnesses like Dum-Dum fever...
Dr Hibbert chuckled.
"I'm serious doc..."
"I am too! I just can't stop chuckling! Ahehehehe! Hohoho!" Dr Hibbert laughed.
Back at home. Marge went through what Oscar packed. She mumbled disapproving as he had packed many, many packs of diapers. "Sweetie what is with the Pampers..."
"Campers Pampers..." Oscar smirked.
"Oz no! Krusty doesn't want you dancing around camp in a diaper!" Bart groaned.
Oscar glared at him.
...
Dinner.
Marge cried.
"What's wrong honey?" Homer asked.
"The kids will be gone for six weeks! This will be our last dinner together! I promised I wouldn't cry!" Marge sobbed.
Homer took Bart's pickle from his plate.
"Hey! Hands off my pickle!" Bart yelled.
"I'm Pickle Rick!" said the pickle.
"Hey I don't see your name on it." said Homer.
Bart licked the pickle.
"Eeeeeeeeeeew!" Pickle Rick groaned.
Homer dropped the pickle in Bart's glass of milk. "Check and Mate!"
"Always one step ahead of me..."
"Also I'd like to announce this year Disney's Aladdin came out. I am gonna have sooooo much fun referencing that..." Oscar smirked.
Bart sighed.
"Lisa stop eating all the bacon! Save some for everyone else!" Marge nagged.
"I LOVE BACON! SALTY, GREASY, DELICIOUS BACON!" Lisa yelled as she was obsessed with bacon before she became vegetarian.
Bart laid across his folded arms and wept frustrated.
After dinner. Oscar went to his room and disrobed down to his diaper. His living cartoon teddy bear creature, Teddy sniffed his diaper with his big wet shiny black nose for a few moments until Oscar wet himself.
Downstairs everyone watched TV.
"Oscar's missing this great comedy!" said Homer. He chuckled at the amusing jokes being told.
Bart preferred that Oscar wasn't downstairs yelling random things.
...
The next day everyone went on the bus to camp.
"Remember Lisa, leaves of three, let them be." said Marge.
"Leaves of four! eat some more!" Homer laughed.
"Dad that's not funny..." said Lisa.
"Now Ralphie, try to keep your pants dry and learn to use the potty at camp..." said Clancy Wiggum.
"But the leprechaun said..." said Ralph.
"No more Leprechaun!" Clancy said too sharply, startling Ralph. "I'm sorry Ralphie but no! No leprechaun business!"
Ralph pouted.
"Well Martin, we'll miss you son." said Martin's dad.
"Enjoy your fitness and body shape improvement camp dear!" said Martha.
"Oh spare me the euphemisms Mother! It's Fat camp isn't it?!" said Martin.
"Son please!" Dad spluttered.
"Well your darling little butterball will lose a few pounds!" Martin sulked.
"Gahahahaha! Fat camp!" Oscar laughed.
Lisa frowned at him.
"Hehehehe! Butterball..." said Oscar chuckling.
"Stay out of my closet while I'm gone! in fact don't go in my room altogether!" said Bart.
Marge and Homer wondered what he was hiding.
"Don't replace the pets if they die! I know if you have..." said Lisa.
"She still hasn't noticed we replaced the goldfish twice..." said Homer quietly to Marge.
The kids get on the bus and their parents wave them goodbye.
Then the moms and dads get out bottles of champagne and glasses to party! Hehehehe!
...
The bus to camp.
"They better pay me extra for taking your squirts to camp too!" said Otto, not used to being hired for things other than escorting the kids to school.
Bart slept. he dreamt about the school getting trashed on the last day again.
Alice Cooper sang School's Out.
Kids were smashing things up etc.
Janey dumped some of the permanent records in the stew for lunch, splashing stew onto Oscar's blue sweater with green triangles.
"Oh Geez! Now my sweater's dirty!" Oscar groaned.
"Speaking of dirty...Sniff. Sniff." said Teddy, Oscar's weird teddy bear creature as he sniffed Oscar's butt with his big wet shiny black nose and gagged.
Oscar blushed. His diaper was dirty.
"Anyway appears based on the flying pink hippos that we're in a dream." said Oscar. "I am naked again!" He willed himself naked.
"No! Stop making me imagine that! Get out of my mind!" Bart yelled.
"Let me do one fun thing!" Oscar whined.
"Okay fine! You now have a live puppy for a hand!" Bart groaned.
Oscar now had a live puppy for his right hand. the puppy yapped and licked him. Oscar giggled.
Bart in his dreams sighed.
In reality while Bart slept.
"Look! Oscar just made living meatloaf men!" said Milhouse.
"Like a bat out of hell, I'll be gone when the morning comes When the night is over, like a bat out of hell I'll be gone, gone, gone!" The little meat loaf men sang.
Oscar grabbed one and ate it.
Lisa grimaced.
They were all dropped off at camp. However Krusty wasn't there. Instead was a stern black haired guy whom Bart assumed was one of his lawyers or something.
"I am Mr Black." the man explained.
"Where's Krusty?" Bart frowned.
"I'll explain, all in good time. now everyone take a seat on the logs." said Mr Black.
All the kids take a seat.
Mr Black puts on a video. Krusty is on it. and he's wearing a raccoon skin hat. Hehehehe!
Oscar gawked at the TV then back at Verne Brown from Back to the Future yhe cartoon series who cameod for some reason.
Verne grimaced at him.
"Hey hey kids! Hooahahaha!" Krusty laughed. "Krusty is away on vacation so he is leaving you under the care of..."
"Mister Black." Mr Black clearly recorded himself over parts of the tape.
"Now while I'm away I'll leave in the care of my good buddy-"
"Mister Black." said Mr Black. That is soooooo memeable! Hehehehe!
"Also i am uh leaving uh you strapping young men in charge." Mr Black told the school bullies Jimbo, Dolph and Kerney they were in charge. He then left.
The bullies made threatening gestures as they towered over the smaller kids. "Okay we're making the rules round here! Any questions?!" Kearney asked.
Wendell the pale sick kid, coughed.
"Right that's it! Take him round the back!" Dolph yelled. The bullies hauled the poor boy away. possibly to give him a beating.
...
Meanwhile Homer and Marge got frisky in the shower. Yeeeeuck!
Marge giggled as Homer purred and got in the shower with her.
"Homer I'm almost finished." said Marge.
"No you're not. Prrrrrrr!" Homer purrs aroused as he gets in the shower with her.
"Say dear. Now that kids are off at summer camp and Maggie is at Patty and Selma's..."
Maggie is at Patty and Selma's flat. She's lying on the table in the middle of a diaper change.
"Maggie finish changing yourself!" said Patty as she was too busy watching TV and smoking with Selma.
Maggie taped up her diaper upon herself.
"They grow up so fast..." said Selma.
The two hags admired their niece.
Back to Homer and Marge's conversation. "I was thinking it would be safe to let Hugo down from the attic for a few days." said Marge.
"Okay fine... but he has to stay indoors! And no visitors!" said Homer.
"So basically he's grounded." said Marge.
"He was never ungrounded in the first place. I don't want this whole sorry mess getting out Marge!' said Homer still in the shower with her.
Elsewhere Tyler got grounded again.
"Tyler! You're grounded!" said his mom. And then they all went back to Winnepeg...
"Aw Gee..." He moaned.
Back in the en suite.
Marge grumbled annoyed at Homer over his treatment of Hugo.
"We could stand here and talk until the cows turn blue." said Homer.
Marge grimaced baffled by his nonsense.
At Kamp Krusty.
"Oz why are the cows blue..." Bart asked irked as Oscar did something weird and turned some nearby cows blue.
Oscar smirked.
"I don't get it, Krusty wouldn't abandon us like this." said Milhouse.
Meanwhile Krusty packing for his vacation to England. yes England.
...
During the kids time there, the camp is miserable.
The bullies ran a sweatshop and made the kids make wallets and fed them gruel.
Bart groaned in disgust at his gruel.
"This is horrible..." Lisa sighed.
"Don't worry Krusty will be here soon." said Bart.
"I hope so..." said Lisa.
Then the bullies confiscate things, like Ralph's clean underwear.
"My underwear!" Ralph cried.
And Oscar's insulin.
"My insulin! I need that or I'll die!" Oscar cried.
The bullies showed their sleeping quarters, an old abandoned chicken barn with some chickens still inside.
"Mwuhahahaha!" Young Link laughed evilly.
"No Link! Leave the chickens alone..." Oscar sighed.
Bart grimaced exasperated.
"Okay, we're chasing some skirt at the lake, so lights out, dweebs!" said Kerney, shutting the kids in the barn.
"This seems a little rustic..." said Lisa.
"I'm not worried. As long as it has the Krusty seal of approval, it's safe." said Bart rubbing some dust off of a Krusty logo stuck on a bed.
Meanwhile, Krusty burnt his finger on a Krusty lamp.
"Yeeeowch!" Krusty yelled.
"Oops, sorry forgot to mention that lamp gets extremely hot when left plugged in." said a man.
"Eh... everything else looks fine..." said Krusty, as the camera panned over several malfunctioning Krusty products. "Now I have to get packing for Wimbledon."
Back at the chicken barn. The kids tried to sleep.
"Hey! Hands off my pickle!" Bart yelled.
"Oz! No! Do not write that line out of context!" Lisa groaned.
Oscar chuckled.
Plot 3
The next day all the kids sat down to listen to another boring lecture fron Mr Black where he makes up unfair rules etc etc.
"Any questions?" Mr Black asked.
Milhouse put his hand up.
"Yes the blue haired kid with glasses..." asked Mr Black.
"Can we call you Uncle Blackie?" Milhouse asked.
Oscar screamed with laughter because he found that hysterically funny.
"Milhouse! No!" Bart frowned at Milhouse.
"Uh no..." said Mr Black. "No further questions. Uh just along kids..." said Mr Black.
The kids headed back to their barn. Oscar was still giggling.
"Milhouse!" Bart snapped. Milhouse trembled. "You can't call Mr Black, Uncle Blackie!"
"Why not?!" Milhouse asked.
"Because it sounds racist!" said Bart.
Oscar giggled.
The Bullies then made them do some unreasonable stuff such as running a sweatshop making wallets en masse with no breaks etc.
"You're all dead meat..." Jimbo warned them while making a fist gesture.
Oscar and Crandell suddenly collasped and started fitting.
"Hey what's wrong with thise two?! Get up!" Kearney yelled.
"They've gone into hyperglycaemic shock you jerk!" Lisa yelled. "They're diabetic!"
"Fine... Jimbo give them back their stupid diabetic medication and equipment..." said Kearney.
Lisa took back Crandell and Oscar's diabetic medicine ie their insulin and dosed them.
Oscar and Crandall would live, just about.
...
At home. Homer let Hugo out of the attic. Hugo scampered about and gnawed the dry walls.
"Hugo don't gnaw the drywall.." said Marge slightly vexed.
After gnawing the walls for a bit, Hugo got from somewhere a bucket of fish heads and ate the slimy, stinky fish heads.
Homer scowled at him while watching Fantasy Island.
"Sir! The plane! The plane!" said Tattoo.
Homer chuckled.
At Patty and Selma's
"Maggie... you have touched you cow tongue sandwich." said Selma. That's because she can't eat sold food yet!
At Wimbledon Krusty was eating strawberries. Then he told Tim Henman to choke, ie throw the game etc.
"Choke! Choke! Choke!"
"Can the Harlequin in row seven be quiet!" said the commentator.
Krusty blushed as everyone glared at him.
At camp. Everyone was locked in the barn for the night again.
Link was attacking the chickens again...
Chickens clucked and squawked alarmed.
"Link! Enough! Stop attacking the chickens!" Milhouse sighed.
"Hey this chicken has some baby chicks." said Richard.
Oscar's pupils shrank and his lips quivered.
"Oh no..." Bart groaned.
"Haaaaaaauuuuuw! Chicky chickies!" Oscar squealed from his autism because he was obsessed with cute animals.
Bart sighed.
...
At home. Homer decided Hugo needed a giant hamster wheel and drew up blueprints for it.
He also noticed he was losing weight and his hair was growing back.
Elsewhere Marge day dreamed after reading tea table romance novels. She was dreaming about a muscular blond pirate.
"These seas sure are heaving! Ahehehehehe!" Marge giggled.
"Not as much as your heaving bosoms M'lady." said the pirate who clearly had a gay Latino accent.
"I'm sorry but I'm gonna have to interrupt this flight of fantasy, the ring seems to have come off my pudding thus dooming it to eternal imprisonment." said Hugo in her dream.
Marge woke up to Hugo jabbering. He was nibbling a pudding can.
Marge sighed. She fetched the can opener for him.
Elsewhere. At camp.
At camp, the lake is polluted and the dock to get to the rowing boats was extremely unsafe and rickety with a dangerous current running under it and sharp rocks. Lisa was the first to try to get in the boat.
"This doesn't look very safe..." said Lisa.
"Well, it ain't getting any safer." said Kearney.
The boat sunk and part of the pier collapsed.
"Well you'll have to swim..." said Kearney.
"We can't swim in that current..." said Bart.
"Mmmmmm... currants..." said Oscar.
"Well...?" Lisa frowned as Kearney was lost for words.
"I need some time to decompose." said Kearney.
Bart grimaced.
"Ugh..." Dolph sighed.
...
Camp evening. The kids sat round the fire. However instead of toasting Marshmallows they were toasting pinecones...
"Uh..." said Bart.
"Just eat your pinecone!" said Kearney in a demanding tone.
Oscar was trying to force feed Peter Griffin his pinecone. "Eat it!"
"No!" Peter said in tears.
"Eat it! it would amuse me!" Oscar snapped.
Peter chewed the pinecone. his mouth was bleeding.
In town. Moe encountered a sort of deer god.
"Oh Deer God!" said Moe.
Lovejoy glared at him. Ned's departure had caused even more debauchery and blasphemy to plague the town.
Barney was at the tavern doorway. "Urrrrrrp! Come on in Moe and pour me another Duff..."
Moe sighed. "Hey Barney, how about we go and see a bear riding a motorcycle."
"Uh okay..." said Barney. They go to a fair to see just that.
A bear growls.
"Eh... beats working behind that bar every night..." said Moe.
Back at camp. Kearney put out the fire for the night. "Okay time to sleep twerps!" The bullies ushered all the younger kids back to the chicken barn for the night.
Bart rubbed away some dust on a support beam. It has Krusty's logo on it.
"Krusty how could you build such a crappy camp..."
"I'm wet!" Ralph whimpered.
"Don't worry, I brought plenty of diapers." said Oscar.
Bart sighed exasperated.
...
At home Marge and Homer meditated and did exercises because they felt free and relaxed with the kids away.
Homer sighed content.
Everyone got a bowl of gruel for each meal and the bullies run a sweatshop making everyone sew wallets.
"Krusty brand imitation gruel. said Dolph. "Nine our of ten orphans can't tell the difference."
It's still gruel, Dolph...
Oscar had finished his gruel.
"Please sir, can i have some more?"
"MOOOOOOORRRRREEEEE?!" The fat, angry guy from Oliver Twist yelled.
Bart grimaced exasperated.
"This place is horrible Lis! This is the worst summer camp we've been too!" Bart groaned not wanting his gruel.
"Not exactly Bart." said Lisa.
"Oh yeah. There was that time we went to Camp Deadly that was run by Mr Burns's nephew Ironfist Burns." said Bart.
Oscar was playing a Gameboy.
After meals the kids made wallets in a sweatshop. Oscar accidentally stitched some leather to his arm with the electric sewing machine. "Uh I need to see the nurse." Oscar chuckled sheepishly.
Kearney sighed and clicked his fingers and Oscar was dragged off somewhere and a pregnant Asian lady was brought in and she cried as she gave birth and the baby was put straight to work on the machines.
That evening everyone sat round the fire.
"Burn! Burn! Buuuuuurn them all!" Oscar was a little too fascinated in the fire.
Bart gawked at him concerned.
Lewis and Janey sang My Grandma, Your grandma were sitting by the fire,
"No singing unless we tell you to!" Dolph yelled.
That night, same cold, harsh routine.
"Goodnight dweebs!" said Jimbo shutting the kids in the barn.
"Goodnight, Plug." said Polly the restraining nurse from Drop Dead Fred who was there for some godforsaken reason.
Oscar grimaced baffled.
...
Simpsons house.
Marge and Homer spent the holidays fornicating in Bart's treehouse.
The rude new neighbour wasn't bothered.
"You should be bothered!" said Asmodeus. the demon prince of lust.
In the barn at Kamp Krusty, Lisa can't sleep.
"I can't sleep."
"Neither can I." said Bart holding a Krusty doll.
"I'm afraid..."
"Me too."
"I'm afraid were gonna die." said Lisa.
"We're all gonna die one day Lis."
"I meant soon!"
"Oh..."
At home. Hugo had fish head curry.
"Fish head!" He babbled.
Marge sighed as he rudely ate his food, making a mess along the way.
At Kamp Krusty, Mr Black and the bullies dined with a banquet and wine etc.
"To evil gentlemen! Bwahahahaha!"
"To evil!" The bullies replied.
At home, Homer before bed weighed himself. He was losing weight, which he was pleased about. "Well with boy gone I'm no longer comfort eating!"
...
At camp the bullies made everyone sing about Kamp Krusty.
Kids fled down a hill from boulders.
Oscar while fleeing played Indiana Jones music loudly.
A boy grimaced exasperated at him as they fled the tumbling boulders.
They then had gruel again. Bart sighed put off by his gruel.
In the nurse's office, a boy had a broken arm in a cast. The nurse struck her match across his arm cast to light it. The boy was concerned by her doing that.
At night Lisa snuck out and sent letters home.
Marge read them.
"Hmmmm... Lisa wants to come home..." said Marge.
"Ohohohoho! When we go there to pick her up she'll be begging us to let her stay... I'm sure she having the time of her life..." said Homer.
Marge sent back cookies. but the bullies intercepted and ate the cookies.
"Your mom may cook but she's a soppy writer..." said Kearney eating Bart and Lisa's cookies.
At the fat camp.
"Nobody goes home until i get fifty push ups from this thanksgiving ham!" the drill sergeant yelled at Martin who was sweating and exhausted.
Back at main camp. a bear ate a boy's hat. a boy shivered as a full grown bear sniffed him. It decided his hat must be delicious and took the hat and left.
Bart grimaced.
At night in the barn. Oscar pranced about in his diaper.
"Oz no one wants to see your Pampers! put your clothes back on!" Bart yelled.