raven's perspective
I sat silently in my room and listened to the clock tick. My chest was worn out from enduring panic attacks. My mind was drained from replaying the same scene and sound. My eyes dropped from the amount of tears they cried.
I stared at the ceiling, finding an attraction to the white surface. It was untainted.
Just like how I wanted my mind to be.
"Raven? Raven!" Beastboy harshly whispered outside my door.
"What could he want so late?" I got up from my bed.
"Um. Hi." Beastboy laughed sheepishly.
"Hi..."
I noticed he was wearing a backpack.
"I was wondering if you wanted to um. Like... uhm. Go somewhere with me? Can we go somewhere? May we please go somewhere together?" Beastboy's awkwardness was adorable.
"At eleven o'clock at night?" I giggled.
"I know, I did that on purpose."
"Huh?"
"Everyone's asleep, so no one will be up to nag us about where we are going. Luckily enough we're both up. I also waited this late so it's not as many people out. It's more peaceful and quiet for us." I watched Beastboy's words roll off his lips.
"Okay... um..." I was anxious.
"Do you trust me?" Beastboy asked kindly.
"More than anyone I've ever met." I drew down my hood.
"Come on." Beastboy eagerly pulled me out of the Tower.
Our destination was set apart from the city.
As a matter of fact, we had a full view of it.
Beastboy had brought us to a tall hill. The hill was separated from the world, tucked in a serene, dark corner.
There was a purple tent built nearby us.
"Wow, what are we doing, spending the night?" I cocked up my eyebrow.
"Not quite. We're gonna stargaze tonight."
Beastboy walked over to a telescope.
I glanced up at the sky.
The sky was decorated with coruscating stars. The starlight warmly hit my face. Every peck sparkled kindly at me, making me want to reach out and touch them. I never craved light so much, but I guess after feeling dark for so long my heart had no choice.
The view was ineffable.
"That's ours?" I asked as Beastboy gazed through the telescope.
"Yup." He kept focused.
"I didn't know we had a telescope."
"I bought it a few days ago. The tent, too. While you were home with Starfire and Robin earlier, Cy and I brought the stuff up here. Just for tonight... just for us." Beastboy turned around to me.
"Oh. Thank you." I hoped the darkness hid my blush.
"My pleasure. Well, come on, Rae, the stars aren't gonna look at themselves. Take a peek." Beastboy stepped aside so I could observe.
"Cool. I mean... oops."
Even though I tried to hide it, I found a liking to the relaxing environment.
"I know right! It's amazing how much the naked eye robs from you." Beastboy said.
I swung the device in different directions, trying to get the whole sky all at once.
"How did you manage to pull all of this off? Cyborg didn't pelt you with questions or anything?"
"Mehh. He only asked what was I doing, I told him I'm spending a night out to myself."
"Mmm..."
"Rae! I see a flying star! Pull it over!" Beastboy's excitement scared me.
"A flying star? Do you mean a comet?" I giggled.
"Same thing," Beastboy chuckled, "Let me help you out." Chills went up my spine as his gloved hand went on top of mine.
His fresh, warm breath neared my face.
"Just adjust it... right about here... and... voila! Do you see it?"
I smiled as I watched a thin white streak pass through patches of midnight blue and purple.
"It's moving so fast. It's stellar." I joked.
"Ahh I see watchya did there. Looks like my jokes are rubbin' off on ya."
I could hear Beastboy's smirk in his words.
"What do you expect? We've been together more often recently." I smiled again.
"Yeah. I like it that way." I turned to the shapeshifter.
"Me too," I blushed again "Sorry I've been hogging this thing. Do you want to take a turn?"
"Nah. Knock yourself out." His toothy fang stuck out on the corner of his mouth.
"Alright, if you say so."
"I'll be in the tent if you need me." Beastboy stepped away.
"Okay."
I spent about the next twenty minutes in complete awe. I forgot that I was on a mound of grass not too far away from the city. I forgot I was a victim of panic attacks and a possible PTSD diagnosis.
I forgot I was me.
I grew tired of the activity and went into the tent.
"Hey."
"Hey."
I looked around in the tent.
Beastboy set up a few lamps inside the tent. He had a blanket and pillows neatly set up. On the side he had a few snacks.
He patted a space next to him, signaling me to sit.
"This is neat, I like it."
I sat next to him.
"Thank ya. Sponsored by Grass Stain and Co." he boasted comically.
"Remind me not to say anything next time." I rolled my eyes.
"Have some marshmallows." Beastboy handed me a bag and I opened it.
"Too bad we don't have a campfire around here. We could have roasted them. I brought some graham crackers and chocolate anyway." Beastboy gave me more items.
"Oh, it's fine. You doing this was more than enough. Thank you." I bit happily into my treat.
The marshmallow dissolved on the tip of my tongue. My blood rushed in response to the candied taste.
"Just had a marshmallow, I'll never forget her." I said with a laugh.
"I agree, these taste like euphoria." Beastboy said through chomps.
"Got anything to drink? My tastebuds are on tilt."
It was like we were at home.
"Yep, some punch." Beastboy poured juice for me in a plastic cup, and a serving for himself.
"Thank you."
"No problem."
We enjoyed the rest of our midnight munch and talked a bit. We finished and put our garbage in a plastic bag.
"Rae, I got something for you." Beastboy rummaged in his pocket.
He opened a jewelry box, took something out, and snapped it shut.
I jolted and took in a sharp breath.
Pop.
The sound's vacation was nice while it lasted.
"You okay?" Beastboy froze.
"Yeah. just having a moment." I let out a pant.
"Oh, this thing frightened you didn't it? Gosh, I'm sorry Raven I didn't—"
Pop.
"It's okay, it's okay." I closed my eyes, breathed, and refocused my thoughts.
"Sorry about that." Beastboy apologized as I opened my eyes.
"I told you, it's alright, Where were we?"
Pop.
"Uhhh, I was giving you this." he held a necklace in his hand.
The chain was silver and the gem was a purple star.
"Beastboy you didn't have to..." my cheeks flushed.
"I didn't have to, I wanted to."
His smile made my heart wiggle.
"I got this star necklace for you because um…. Raven, really like being your friend. I have since I met you. We've had our ups and downs, but we're still here. Since this whole thing, I kinda realized that we are a little more than friends. At least I feel that we are."
He shyly glanced away.
"We are." I reassured tenderly.
"Yeah so... This necklace means uhm," Beastboy was nervous, "That you are a star. I've watched you sit under pressing darkness. Regardless, you shine. You shine when you get up every morning even if you don't want to. You shine when you soldier out ongoing panic attacks and meltdowns. You're so brave and strong you don't even realize it," He paused.
"You were comfortable being alone for almost a half hour out in the dark. You were looking for light, but you never look at the light inside of you. I watched you stand there, unyielding and fascinated by the stars. You shine brightest when you are in the darkest sky. You're the brightest star I've seen." I bit my lip to swallow a cry.
He motioned for me to turn around and put the ornament around my neck.
"Thank you, Beastboy," I faced him, "This means a lot to me. I really appreciate all you have done. For being there for me no matter how I feel. Always being so caring and loving even when I don't think I deserve it. I don't show you how much I appreciate you, but believe me when I say I do."
A tear rolled down my cheek.
"Raven?" Beastboy's stare hit my lips and then my eyes.
"Yes, Beastboy?" he timidly tucked my hair behind my ears.
"Is it okay if we do this?"
My breath hitched.
"I wouldn't want it any other way." I whispered.
Beastboy gave a faint smile and pressed his lips against mine.
Beastboy's taste was sweet, the flavor I needed after such bitter experiences. It fizzed in my mouth with excitement. His tongue ventured through my mouth, a place no one else had embarked upon.
His movements were determined and ordered. Beastboy knew exactly where to let his tongue travel and where to give less attention. The boy's fingers brushed through my hair. He cupped my cheek softly. He handled me tenderly and with care, as if I were an antique plate.
I, on the other hand, didn't know what I was doing or what to do.
My hand was hesitant, moving to Beastboy's broad chest. I gradually moved it to his nest of green hair and let it rest there for a while. I didn't know what to do with the rest of my body so I let it flow.
We were so close to each other that paper could not slip between us.
My first kiss was how I always wanted it to be.
Pure, steady, intimate, peaceful, gentle, and healing.
I parted our kiss and looked up to my partner.
"You're so beautiful." Beastboy beamed passionately.
"You, too. Oh wait boys aren't beautiful." Beastboy gave me a confused expression.
"They aren't! They are um— handsome!" I rushed with a chuckle.
"You're right. It's the ears, isn't it, Rae?" Beastboy made his eyebrows dance.
"Don't push it." I playfully pushed him.
"Yeah."
He seemed a little awkward.
I felt awkward too.
The kiss was something new for the both of us and we were both in shock that it even happened.
"Sooo, we camping out, or you wanna go back home? Whatever you're comfortable with." Beastboy offered.
"I don't mind as long as you are with me."
"Aww. We can chill out here, then?"
"Of course."
Beastboy's eyes twinkled.
He turned off the lamps and tucked us snuggly in the blanket.
"You know what, Rae? Sometimes the dark challenges us. When it does, we have to create constellations of our own. Today we made a new constellation, together." Beastboy kissed me sweetly on the lips.