New Kid on the Block A new kid, the boy with pink shades joins Bart's class. Bart falls in love with a new girl who moves into the neighbourhood and Homer sues an all you can eat fish restaurant.
Plot
At School Mrs Krabappel introduces the Boy wearing pink shades and a white jacket to the class.
"Take a seat ..." Mrs Krabappel instructs him. We never know his name. The ginger haired boy sits at the back next to Nelson.
"His hair looks like yours, Oscar." A student explains to Oscar.
"Well his would if I ever cut my hair like his mom probably makes him." Oscar explains. "Does he ever take those shades off? What do his eyes look like?"
"Yes Oscar now can you return to third grade." Mrs Krabappel sighed.
Oscar went back to his class.
The boy remained an enigma.
"Guys who cares about the kid with shades and his mysteries. Let's all whale on Martin..." Nelson was beating up Martin.
Milhouse was acting like water sprinklers again. "Like the one that goes like this..." He mimicked a spinning water sprinkler.
Bart sighed exasperated.
"I've got more important things to worry about Mil! Like getting my revenge on Arthur!" said Bart.
Arthur, a nervous brown haired boy glanced over at Bart.
"Because of you my parents started trying to be strict with me! I don't want to be a dumb Chief Justice of the Supreme Court!" Bart got out a voodoo doll of Arthur and poked pins in it.
"So you'd rather grow up to be a stripper..." Mrs Krabappel sighed.
"Uh no..." Bart winced.
One summer at Martin's pool party the boy with shades was wearing orange speedos and his shades. He would not remove them. Not even to go swimming.
Bart was strangely obsessed with wondering what Boy With Shades's eyes looked like.
At the school discos he wore smart clothes with a bow tie and was still wearing his pink shades.
"He looks like such a dork!" Jimbo comments.
...
At science class everyone had to wear their safety goggles.
'Hey, kid, that includes you!" Oscar tells the boy with shades. "Even I have to wear safety goggles. My favourite pair I always wear on my head don't count. He pointed out his green goggles that were holding his hairstyle in place. The boy reluctantly took off his shades. Everyone stared at him. He had biggish eyes. Well not as big as Bart's, those are humongous!
"So that's what your eyes look like..." Richard said as if he'd just found the answer to a hard question.
"Let's get him to talk!" Milhouse suggests.
"He can talk, right?" Bart asks his friends.
Lewis and Richard shrugged.
Oscar was playing with the dissection frogs. "It ain't easy being green! Hi Fozzie!"
Bart squinted with a frown. "No this is funny! Hey hey mon! Pass the Dutchie! We be slopper!" He put the frog's intestines on its head and pretended the frog was Jamaican.
Tge Jamaican kid slapped him. "That's not cool Mon! This is how you sing it!"
The Jamaican kid put on a radio, Bob Marley played.
"Don't worry! Bout a thing! Cos everything, is gonna be alright!"
"No! It's only funny when I make fun of you people! Smoke and fly bro! Why so high..." Bart frowned.
"Uh not cool Bart... I'm heading back to my class..." said Oscar.
Third grade.
"Hey, Crazy Joe!" Oscar greeted a class mate as he sat down at his desk.
"Galajakachoohalamahilama! Kallae kistnae... Hoojookwlalalalamoolah!" The crazy kid jabbered while throwing his papers everywhere.
Oscar grimaced.
Ace sighed, trying to remain calm while Crazy Joe was yelling incoherently and hurling things across the class.
...
Everyone followed the kid with shades around at recess trying to get him to speak. Eventually he has enough of their weird behaviour.
"Will you guys leave me alone?!" He sounded like a cartoon kid voiced by Tress MacNeille. Everyone stopped being curious about him now that there wasn't anything interesting about him.
"Anyway. What happened to Principal Skinner again?" Milhouse asked Bart.
"He got captured by Canadians and forced to work in their maple syrup mines..." said Bart.
In a syrup mine.
"I'm telling you I don't belong here!" Skinner yelled being chained to another prisoner.
"I've had just aboot enough out of you, eh! Now back to the maple syrup mines, or you won't get any socialized health care!" said a Canadian Mountie.
In reality Bart grimaced wondering how this turn of events happened.
"Well with Spanky gone I can finally run a liquor bar..." said Bart.
'Hehehehe! Spanky..." Lewis chuckled.
Bart rolled his eyes.
Bart ran a classy, liquor bar."
Lisa protested.
"It's not really liquor... it's root beer and shots of mouth wash..." said Bart.
"Use real booze..." said Oscar.
"No Oz..." Bart sighed.
The Year book room. Which is a dingy dungeon like room with a musty smell.
"Ugh! Kack! How can you breath in here?" Hugo who got out again, coughed on the fumes.
"You'll got used to it, Bart's far more studious brother." said Martin.
"I have a name..." Hugo frowned.
...
One weekend the Winfields are packing their bags and leaving.
Homer meanwhile was watching a Blind Date-esque programme called Hunks. One of the bachelors really connected with the date because she liked to cook bacon on the beach.
"Okay, Ron, which one of our girls said the following about you- "He looked so sexy, I hoped we would have sex"?" asked the Hunks host.
"Well, that's a tough one, 'cause I did the deed with Uta, Candy and Shasta." All the girls are Giggling "It's true, all right! (Chuckles) But I'm gonna have to go with Shasta... 'cause she liked makin' bacon on the beach."
"Ooh. Me too." said Homer with joy.
"Mmmmmm! Bacon on the beach!" said Homer while drooling and thinking about himself on a beach barbecuing some bacon.
"Mmmmmm bacon..." Lisa moaned with joy and drooled.
"Yes sweetie..." said Homer.
"Lisa's not vegetarian yet... readers..." Oscar explained in a script room wearing a beret.
Lisa drooled thinking about bacon.
Then Mrs Winfield knocked to tell him her husband and herself were leaving.
"We've had enough of your behaviour Mr Simpson! Now do us a favour for once and try not to put off potential buyers of our house!" Mrs Winfield yells at him. Homer has several flashbacks of Mrs Winfield arguing with him down the phone because Santa's little helper got out and was digging up her lawn. And of the winfields mocking him when he was going out for an evening jog in his Assassins trainers (before Santa's little helper ate them).
"Please don't leave your trash bags outside your bins so the animals can get at them... please take in your rotten pumpkins..." said Ms Winfield as there were rotting pumpkins lying around by Homer's door step with flies buzzing around. "And please do not walk about indoors or outdoors naked!"
"Yeah right... good riddance you old bags!" Homer yells at them. He does everything he can to be disgusting and embarrassing. Such as leaving the trash out, not taking in his rotten pumpkins from last Halloweens and walking past his windows without any clothes on.
"Homer! Put some clothes on!" Marge nagged.
Homer groaned.
...
"And Marge," Mrs Winfield said sharply.
"Yes Sylvia?" Marge asked politely.
"We are just as displeased at you!" said Sylvia.
"What did I do?" Marge asked.
"You keep upsetting our nephew Jules! Who is played by Samuel L Jackson for some reason." said Sylvia.
"What does Marcellus Wallace look like?!" Jules yelled.
"Jules calm down..." said Mr Winfield.
After an incident with a moose eating his garbage.
"Hey get outta here!" Homer yelled at him. "Shoo!" The moose charged at him forcing him to retreat into the house. The Northern Exposure theme played as this happened. I have no idea bout that programme apart from it is a comedy set in the south which explains why it sounds like hick music.
"No Bullwinkle! Please have mercy!" Bart cried being silly.
"Bart don't! You're always whining at Oscar for making silly media references..." Lisa sighed.
"Prepare for a moosey fate!" yelled Oscar and GIR s they laughed hysterically. They're obsessed with mooses.
Homer later found the Winfields had left boxes of stuff such as hangers and pills.
"Oh my god! Boxes of hangers! Expired medicine! Old newspapers!" said Homer. His brain told him to take it. "Okay body, let's work together." said Homer's brain.
Homer picked up the stuff to steal it but dropped some hangers. "D'oh!" Homer groaned. He dropped something else. "Body you are not helping!" said his brain.
"Hey shut up Brain!" Homer snapped.
Eventually he had got everything in the lounge. Marge found him sitting amongst his stolen goods and taking the expired medicine.
"Homer that's not your medicine!" said Marge concerned.
"Maybe I'm missing something out of my diet! Like errrr... Estrogen..." said Homer holding a female hormone medicine.
Marge confiscated it from him.
...
Bart's room.
Oscar is doodling in his magic drawing book.
The book glows. "Uh oh!" Oscar groaned.
Bart looked round to see he had summoned an unholy scribble creature.
"Time to erase you!" said the evil scribble creature carrying a huge pencil.
"Mehoy minoy moy? Me ahoy minoy hoy!" Doodlebob jabbered. Yes Doodlebob!
"Okay that's it! We're getting some air..." Bart groaned going out.
Eventually the brown house gets sold. Bart and Lisa decide to explore the empty house. They sneak about on tiptoes with funny music.
They find themselves in the basement.
"Boy it sure is spooky down here..." Lisa comments.
"Woooooooo!" Bart made noises to scare her.
"Bart that's not funny..." Lisa frowned.
"Yeah they say the Winfields kept their mutant son locked down here!" Bart teased her.
"Don't be stupid! The Winfields didn't have a son!" said Lisa.
Bart finds and old sock and teases her.
"Hello Lisa, in the dark you don't need eyes! Give them to me!" says Bart in a silly voice as the sock puppet.
"Bart that's not funny!" Lisa told him off for scaring her.
"Hey Lisa, the momsterous son is till here... He looked just like thiiiiis!" Bart made a scary face by turning his eyelids inside out.
"Aggggggghhhhhhh!" Lisa screams and runs out. Bart laughs but is spooked by someone moaning "friiiiiiieeeend... friiiiiiiieeeeeend..." and grabbing his shoulders. He screams and knocks himself out.
...
He wakes up to find a much older girl checking up on him.
"Hey kid are you alright?" she asks.
(She's hot! Say something romantic!) says Bart's brain to himself.
"I fell on my bottom...!" Bart says in a babyish tone. "Doh!" said his brain.
The girl giggles. "I'm Laura Powers. What's yours?"
"Bart Simpson, don't wear it out."
Meanwhile Marge is comforting a traumatised Lisa. Lisa is crying.
"There, there. Bart can make some rather um, interesting faces dear, there's no need to be scared sweetie." said Marge.
"I know I feel a little silly Mom, but it was dark down there and I really believed Bart's stupid story about them locking a kid in their basement!" Lisa explained.
"Hmmmm, don't be silly dear. As if people lock kids in basements and attics..." said Marge.
Up in the attic Hugo was clonking his water cup for attention.
Back downstairs though... "Oh and Oscar accidentally created that thing from his magic drawing book..." Lisa pointed at the evil scribble creature.
"Time to scribble you off this world!" said the scribble creature.
Doodlebob drew frowning eyebrows upon himself.
Marge gulped.
"Don't worry, my toons will stop him." Oscar hastily drew something. Quiffy, Ace, Brian, Flame etc leapt out of the book.
"Can I help?" McGee from McGee and Me asked.
"NO!" Oscar yelled.
"Prepare to be erased!" The scribble creature yelled.
Oscar sighed and simply erased the monster.
Plot 2
They then hang out on the street. Laura asks if he knows all the tricks at school of teasing dumb kids.
"Do you want a hurts donut?" she asks.
"Yep!" Bart really thinks he's getting a donut. Laura hits his arm just enough for him to feel it. "Ow!"
"Hurts, Don't it?" She grins.
"Oh gotcha!" Bart realises.
"Do you know this one then..." she gives him a wet willie. Sticks her finger in his ear after licking it.
"Eeeeeew! Yeah I know that one." Bart replies.
"I can read palms too."
"Ok..." Bart lets her read his palm.
"There's the church and (spits on his hand) there's the swimming pool!"
"That's gross! I'll never wash this hand..."
Jimbo, Kearney and Dolph arrived.
"Hey Shrimp got the new babe before us! Beat it dork!" said Kearney.
"That's Kearney." said Bart to Laura.
"Kearney I don't think I'm your type, and I think your boyfriend might get jealous..." said Laura accusing the bullies of being gay.
"What the?!" Kearney gasped.
"That chick is messing with our minds!" Jimbo explained and the bullies left.
"Who are those creeps?" Laura asked.
"That's Jimbo Jones and his cronies Dolph and Kearney." said Bart. "Jimbo's a bully at school."
Bart has a flashback where he is wearing a green shirt. Jimbo is giving him a swirly. Stuffing his head down a toilet and flushing it.
"I scheduled to give you a swirly shrimp! Oh you're in luck... this toilet is clean. Oh well." Jimbo said as he stuffed Bart's head down the toilet and flushed.
...
Bart hasn't washed his hand in weeks. It is now covered in gum and dirt.
"Eeeew! Bart! That's disgusting!" Lisa yells.
"Wooooooo!" Bart makes a monster sound and chases after her with his hand.
She runs off screaming, but Bart trips and gets his hand stuck to the dog's fur. Santa's little helper drags Bart with him. "Um help?" Bart whined as the dog dragged him along.
Oscar was watching The Neverending Story.
"Actually he's watching the scene where Artax drowns in the swamps of Sadness over and over on a loop..." said Lisa popping back in.
Oscar moaned aroused.
"Oz! Boys are supposed to have those feelings for girls! Not for watching horses drown in quicksand!" Bart groaned having unstuck himself from the dog.
Oscar moaned aroused as Artax slowly was sucked down into the mire. Atreyu cried and yelled for him to fight.
Nelson came in. "Haw haw! You're weird!"
Oscar glared at him and invoked his evil powers.
"I cast you into shadow!" He snarled as he sent Nelson to the shadow realm.
Bart grimaced.
"The Hand!" He chased Lisa again.
Lisa ran off screaming.
"Bart! Stop scaring your sister!" Homer yelled. He was looking for his hoard of the Winfield's old medication. "Ah Ha!" He found Sylvia's estrogen.
He scarfed down the pills.
The lounge.
"Let's see your defense against my dark arts." said Oscar to Lisa drawing his magic wand.
"No Oz, if you practice dark magic you get sent to Alakazam prison." said Lisa.
"It's Azkaban..." Oscar sighed.
...
As punishment for scaring Lisa, Marge took Bart with her to see the new neighbors. Marge had a basket of gifts.
"Hey Bart." said Laura.
Laura's mother Ruth introduced herself.
Marge gave her the basket of gifts. Mostly fruit, baked goods and a free beer coupon for Moe's...
Ruth spoke about getting away from her ex husband (and Laura's father) who was a deadbeat dad.
At Home Homer was watching a commercial for the Frying Dutchman, a fish and seafood restaurant owned by Captain McCallister, aka Sea Captain.
"Ahoy, mateys. Had your fill of tacos? Would ye sooner eat a bilge rat than another burger? Then come for all-you-can-eat seafood at The Frying Dutchman." said Sea Captain.
"Arrrrrrrrr me hearties!" said Oscar and his teddy bear creature enthusiastically.
"Aaaarrrr! We have all you can eat seafood!" said Sea Captain.
Homer liked the sound of that and moaned joyfully.
"More iced tea?" Captain McCallister asked a customer.
"Yes please." said the lady.
Sea captain laughed "Arrrrr hahahaharrrrrr!" Like an old sea dog while he poured her a glass of iced tea.
Homer wanted to go and booked it for their night out.
"Homer I don't like fish, and Bart's allergic to shrimp." Marge doesn't approve of their night out.
"The kids aren't coming. It's supposed to be a romantic night for just us." Homer explains.
"Awwwwww! But it has a cool old sea dog guy that talks like a cartoon pirate! Arrrrrrrr!" Oscar whined.
"Quiet boy!" said Homer.
"But I think I'm allergic to seafood!" said Marge. "The last time I ate shrimp, my throat closed up, and I went into convulsions."
"Mom that was Bart at the Rusty Barnacle. We were horrified when it happened." said Lisa.
"Mmm, shrimp." Homer moaned with joy.
"Homer..." Marge sighed.
"Marge please..." Homer whined.
"Oh. And I just know who can babysit!" Marge replied.
...
Laura arrives. "I'm looking after you kiddos so be nice." she addresses Bart in particular.
"Hey, I'm my own man!" Bart replies. "I don't need a babysitter!"
"Bart, it's nearly bedtime! I've laid out your jammie-jams on your bed!" comes Marge's voice. Bart blushes with embarrassment as Laura and Lisa laugh.
"Aaaaawww! You're so cute! Come ere!" Oscar squees and hugs him.
"Oscar! Personal space!" Bart whines.
Oscar was hugging him.
"I said, NO MORE HUGS!" Bart yelled.
Oscar released him.
Lisa chuckled at Bart.
"THE HAND COMMANDS ME!" Bart bellowed chasing her with his gross, spit and gum covered hand.
Lisa screamed and fled.
Laura was baffled.
"Anyway I'm peckish but first, Marge says that you're due your Insulin, Oscar." said Laura.
"Just call me Oz." Oscar grinned as she seemed nice.
Kitchen. Lisa was devouring the bacon. "I'm hungry too! Mmmmmmm bacon..."
Bart winced.
Canada.
Skinner was chained up in a chain gang making butter tarts in the horrifying kitchens of Nova Scotia.
"Please! I'm a school principal!" He lamented.
He got whipped by the slave master. "As of now, you're nothing! Now keep making tarts!"
Back at the Simpsons Laura sighed as Lia had pigged out on the bacon until she was sick.
Lisa groaning.
"I think it's high time you took a rest!" Laura sighed.
...
That evening Bart's having a bath.
"Are you just bathing to please your girlfriend?" Lisa smirks.
"No a fella needs to keep looking yellow every once in a while." Bart replied as he scrubs himself.
However Lisa started making kissy sounds so he reveals he still hasn't cleaned his hand and scares her away.
"The hand!" Bart bellows.
"Aaaaaaagh!" Lisa screams and flees.
Bart sighed and resumed scrubbing himself clean.
Later when he's in his pyjamas he puts on his dressing gown and plays with his bubble pipe.
"What is that supposed to be, a Hugh Hefner impression? Cute toy pipe..." Laura comments. Bart rolls his eyes as he blows a few bubbles.
"A little bloodsport to pass the time, shall we?" said Oscar wearing a dressing gown and a fez.
"Oz this is a Hugh Hefner thing I'm doing! Not an upperclassman in evening wear thing!" said Bart making bubbles with his bubble pipe.
"Yes quite so old bean." said Oscar being posh.
Later Bart and Lisa bicker while watching TV.
"Bart! I want to watch The Happy Little Elves! You've watched what you wanted all evening!" said Lisa whining.
Bart shows her his filthy gum and spit covered hand. "The hand Lisa! The hand! It controls me!" Bart said in a spooky manner pointing his disgusting hand at her.
Lisa screamed and ran off. Bart laughed and sat down to watch whatever he was watching.
Lisa sighed in defeat and went up to her room to read.
"Ugh... that hand of his..." She muttered.
Bart was watching cartoons.
Evening-wear Oscar came in. "I say dear fellow..."
"Ssshhhh! Evening wear time is over. I'm watching Itchy and Scratchy..." said Bart.
...
Homer and Marge arrive at the Frying Dutchman, Captain McCallister's all you can eat fish restaurant.
"Arrr! What will you be having?" The captain asks.
"All you can eat! All you can eat!" Homer yells.
"Right this way sir!" The captain guides him to the buffet dishes. Homer immediately takes the metal tray with calimari and a plastic lobster.
"Please sir! Not the tray!" A chef begs.
McCallister was concerned.
"Hrrrm. I'll start with the bread..." said Marge.
"That has fish in it too..." said a waiter.
Marge sighed.
Homer devoured the seafood.
At home.
"I can't believe I'm missing out of all you can eat seafood..." Oscar groaned.
"I'm not missing out. I can't eat seafood. I'm allergic." said Bart.
Eventually it's closing time, but Homer is still eating.
"I don't get it! Does this walrus ever stop eating?" Captain McCallister asks. Homer is still eating while Marge sits there embarrassed. "Ye must leave now! We're closing!"
"Can't talk, eating." Homer is still eating. The staff then drag him out. "Noooooooo!" He tries to get back in but they drag him out again.
"Homer! It's late! Let's go home...
At home Laura was nodding off. "They must have went clubbing. Hmmmmm Mr and Mrs Simpson seem a bit old for clubbing..." She told herself.
The house was eerily quiet now that the kids were asleep. Well except for the grandfather clock ticking.
Laura sighed and got up to see what books were on the book shelf in the corner. They were all high brow books by ancient dead Greek philosophers.
She sighed bored.
Plot 3
The next day Homer calls Lionel Hutz.
"Mr Simpson! I haven't seen such injustice since the film Neverending Story! I'll be happy to take your case." Lionel explained.
"Woohoo!" Homer cheers.
The next day Homer and Marge go to court because Homer is suing the Frying Dutchman for not letting him have all you can eat.
Laura is looking after the kids. Err in the canon scene she thinks it's night for some reason and asks for them to be early to bed before Jimbo arrives...
Uh... it's midday Laura and that hasn't happened yet until Powers That Be.
Captain McCallister presents his case showing just how much food Homer ate that night. Many sacks of shrimp are brought in.
However they're letters to Santa...
"You want the people of Springfield vs Chris Cringle! That case is next door!" said Judge Snyder.
Blue haired lawyer asked Marge if it was true that Homer once consumed an entire bag of flour when there was no food in the house.
"Yes but-"
"I've asked enough questions." said Blue haired lawyer dismissing himself.
Marge then makes a statement under oath.
"Now Mrs Simpson, where did you and your husband go after being removed from the frying Dutchman. May I remind you you're under oath." Lionel explains.
"We drove around till 2 am trying to find another all you can eat fish restaurant." Marge explained.
"What did you do when you couldn't find one?"
"We went fishing..." she cries in embarrassment.
"Your honour, does that look like the actions of someone who truly had all they could eat?" Lionel asks the judge.
"He ate two plastic lobsters as well!" Captain McCallister yells.
"Silence in court! The jury may leave to consider its verdict!" Judge Snyder yells banging his gavel.
Fortunately Homer won his case and the restaurant came to an arrangement that he could eat as much as liked as a freak exhibition.
"Come! See Nature's cruelest mistake! Stay for the fish!" The captain announced.
"I heard they shaved a gorilla." A man says in the crowd.
Homer and Marge are sat by a window while crowds take photos of Homer eating. Marge hides in embarrassment as Homer eats.
"Come on Marge, let everyone see your pretty face!" Homer continues eating.
...
Laura is taking Bart, Lisa and Oscar out to buy a video to watch while she babysits them.
"Found one!" Lisa picks Happy Little Elves: return of the Curious Bear Cub.
"Bleh!" Bart gags in disgust at her choice of film.
"Now Bart, I think that's rather cute film. A bit sickly though..." Laura explained.
"Well I want this!" Bart picks an R rated violent film.
"Nice try kiddo, but you're parents will go nuts if I let you watch that."
"Oooh! What's this? The Neverending Story. Guaranteed legally to be never ending." Oscar asks. It's a new edition ordered by court to be made.
"If Lionel Hutz won that court case, I wouldn't be surprised. What about you, Bart? Or is it to babyish for you..." Laura remarks.
"Fine..." Bart pouts.
They go home to watch their films. Bart soon gets bored of crappy little elves so he watches Oscar's choice of film.
"You coming up Oz or you wanna watch the film for babies..." Bart asked.
"Just a sec!" said Oscar.
"Oz no! Stop being obsessed with the Curious Bear Cub's big wet shiny green nose..." Lisa groaned.
Bart sighed.
Once Marge and Homer get home they're still both up watching it past midnight!
"Bart! You should be asleep by now!" Marge yells.
"This films been running for 8 hours, and it's still going." Oscar comments. "Even the actor playing Atreyu has had enough!" Atreyu's actor is whining that he's exhausted and asks when the film will end. The film is currently in a hackneyed added on scene that doesn't make any sense whatsoever. There's a story between Falcor and a female dragon falling in love and Atreyu's horse came back to life for the 3rd time in the film.
"Well it's time for bed you two! Lights out!" Marge turns off their film.
In the dark as they're sleeping top and tail.
"Hey Oz, what does the guy who sings the theme tune of the Neverending story do now?" Bart asked.
"Limahl? Oh he's still doing great. Got a new single out." said Oscar.
"Oh." said Bart.
...
The next day Bart and Lisa are watching cartoons.
"Eeeeeeeew! Bart! Wash that hand!" Lisa groaned because Bart still had spit and gum and other stuff on it.
"I'm sorry Lisa, but I am no longer in control of that hand. The hand controls me!" Bart said dramatically while chasing her across the living room.
"Agggggghhhhh! Daaaad!" Lisa screamed.
"Can it! You little monsters!" Homer yelled.
Hugo growled.
"Okay, the one literal little monster we have..." said Homer.
Hugo grumbled.
Bart and Lisa were supposed to be at school but Oscar gave Marge, Homer and Lisa amnesia so they'd forget what their supposed to be doing today. At school a boy called Bastian was being chased by Jimbo, Dolph and Kearney.
"It's wedgie time, dork!" said Jimbo.
Bastion hid in the utility rooms that go around the school. They were strangely labyrinthine.
"Ach! Kids aren't supposed to be in here!" said Willie working.
But Bastion went up to the school's attic and read a big book called the Never Ending Story.
In the Never Ending Story, Atreyu was chatting to a guy in a top hat and coattails riding a giant snail and nearby was a friendly rock golem. I watched the movie and the cartoon numerous times so I know all of this.
I don't know what the discussion was but it probably involved Atreyu's legend of monster slaying or something.
Then he returned to his palace and a wise old sage explains to the hot princess that a great Nothing is devouring the universe into a state of nothing! Basically the universe is falling apart. Atreyu is given a magic pendant that protects him all harm and he goes on a quest to stop the great nothing!
Then some stuff happened and an evil wolf wants to eat Atreyu. Then his horse died in the Swamps of Sadness by drowning in the sinking mud by giving up to his own depression and got swallowed up by the mud.
Oscar moaned with joy.
Bart groaned exasperated by him liking that scene.
"Oz why are you fascinated with quicksand..." Lisa sighed.
"I don't really know." said Oscar.
Bart and Lisa then bickered over cartoon watching time. Bart was watching Itchy and Scratchy.
"Baaaaaart! I want to watch the Happy Little Elves!" Lisa whined.
"The haaaaaaaaaaaand!" Bart bellowed showing his filthy mouldy hand. With gum and stuff on it.
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaagh!" Lisa screamed. She ran out the room.
Bart laughed deviously. He sighed as he watched his cartoon.
...
Meanwhile Martin and Milhouse were selling lemons and lemonade.
"I don't want your damn lemons! I want life! I'm talking to Life's manager!" Cave Johnson yelled.
Martin winced.
Elsewhere in Never Ending Story A giant turtle kept sneezing hurricanes that blew Atreyu out of a tree and into a slimy pool of mud in the swamp of sadness. Because it was allergic to youth.
Then he got exhausted swimming through the bog and the wolf nearly got him but a giant furry dragon called Falcor rescued him.
Falcor laughed heartedly and took him to an old wise man in the desert. Atreyu then had to pass several gates. The first had golden statues that fire lasers at you! Atreyu gulped as he witnessed them annihilate a poor knight on his horse.
Atreyu thankfully got past the golden gate. The next was the magic mirror which shows your true nature.
Bastion, the boy in the attic reading about Fantasia was horrified the mirror showed him as cruel tyrannical king standing over the corpse of Atreyu.
"You flipping kill me?!" Atreyu yelled.
"Yeah in The Never Ending Story II you argue, he has a tantrum and pushes you off a cliff..." said Oscar.
At the Simpsons Marge calls Laura over because she's going out for dinner with her husband again.
"Oh Baaaaart! Give your pretty babysitter a kiss and I'll tuck you in! (Smooching noises)" Lisa teased him.
"Silence!" Bart yelled and showed his filthy hand to her.
Lisa screamed and fled.
"Bart you really should wash that hand now..." Oscar groaned in disgust.
Meanwhile in Neverending Story.
"Bastian, every time you use that orb, you lose some of your memories..." Atreyu warned him.
"It's my orb!" Bastian had an orb of some kind.
"Gimne that orb!" Atreyu tried to take it.
"No it's mine!" Bastian yelled.
Meanwhile the Nothing wiped out more of Fantasia including the snail riding man and the opening characters. And the friendly rock golems! Noooooo!
Any so besides the golden gate of Sphinxes with laser eyes! There was the magic mirror that shows your true nature.
The gate of riddles.
"How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?" The gate asked.
"Uh..." Atreyu was confused.
"Gimme my orb!" Bastian threw a tantrum.
The No Key Gate.
"There's no key for this gate! You busts of the founding fathers of America, we need to find a key..." Bastian asks The Founding Fathers.
"Find the key! Find the key! Find the beautiful key!" They sing.
Atreyu grimaced.
Then the Gateless Gate where Tony Jay doesn't shut up!
"Try as you might, you can't escape your fate! You'll never pass the gate less gate!" Tony Jay boomed from somewhere.
Peter Shepherd winced.
...
A following night Laura baby sat again.
"The Haaaaaaand!" Bart scares Lisa with his filthy hand. She ran off screaming.
"Kids what shall we get for dinner?" Laura asked.
"Dunno ask Hef," said Lisa as Bart dressed up as Hugh Hefner again.
"I pity you Lis, you're doomed to failure..." said Bart smoking his bubble pipe.
"And you're doomed to fancy older women..." said Lisa.
"The haaaaaaand!" Bart scared Lisa with his filthy hand again.
Lisa screamed.
Laura ordered some foreign crap, From Two Men From Kabul.
When the restaurant's phone rang the two Arabic men argued over who got to answer the phone.
"We used to eat this when my dad was stationed in "Vandihar." Take your kaftab'Sounieh and dip it in the labneh." said Laura.
"Now, that is good labneh." said Bart dipping some kind of food in a dip.
Later Laura invited her boyfriend round. Yeah like she's gonna be interested in a much younger kid, Bart...
During the Laura Powers saga Bart gets um weird thoughts.
"Looks like you won't be needing this!" said an imaginary Laura in his mind in a dark void. She ripped out his heart! Kali maaaaaa!
"Kali ma shakti de! Kali maaaaaaa! Kali maaaaaaaa!" An imaginary Oscar chanted.
Bart shook his head. "I have got to stop imagining that! Maybe all those times of watched Indiana Jones movies has started to screw up my mind."
Then Don Quixote kept fighting a windmill. I have no idea why. It's a flipping windmill!
A Dutch girl in clogs winced as Don Quixote was attacking a windmill.
Then Oscar firmly believed the Dutch had wooden feet.
Plot 4
Oscar's room.
"Teddy last time we did that Uh let's just say I couldn't toddle right for a week."
"Uh..." said Teddy his living teddy bear creature.
"Alright if you'll excuse me I have a poo poo diaper." said Oscar going off to get his diaper changed.
Teddy winced.
However Laura was busy playing with Bart, Lisa and Maggie. Oscar pouted as he went back upstairs clad only in a stinky diaper.
Teddy, his living teddy bear creature sniffed his diaper with his big wet shiny black nose. Oscar winced and blushed as Teddy sniffed his diaper.
Eventually Marge and Homer came home.
"Were the kids good?" Homer asked. He glared at Bart.
"Yes they were all good Mr Simpson. Even Bart." said Laura.
"Ah good." Homer relaxed.
Marge saw to Oscar.
"Did you manage to keep your diaper dry all night long Oscar?" Marge asked curiosity, as Oscar took a quick sip of the milk before he answered his foster mom's question.
"No, when I woke up earlier my diaper was really wet Mom." Oscar said embarrassingly, as his foster mom gave him a pat on the back. "And I um pooped too."
Bart chuckled under his breath.
"It's all okay Oscar, it's not your fault that you had an accidents, so you shouldn't be embarrassed about it okay." said Marge.
Bart grimaced in disgust because he could smell Oscar's dirty diaper.
Marge loves all her kids unconditionally though and she takes Oscar to change his diaper.
"I didn't know he wears diapers Mrs Simpson." Laura explained.
"You wouldn't because he's embarrassed letting people know that." said Marge as she laid Oscar on Maggie's changing table.
...
At school, recess.
"Bart can I tell you something. In private..." said Milhouse.
"Uh sure..." said Bart.
They found somewhere private.
"So uh. What now then." Bart asked.
"You know…. Your sister is just..." said Milhouse.
Bart felt uncomfortable.
"She's what? Spit it out!" said Bart.
"...Talented. She's really talented and beautiful." said Milhouse.
"Mil! Stop having a crush on my sister! Geez!"
Milhouse sighed.
Nelson then gave Bart a wedgie. "Wedgie!"
At the Simpsons house.
"Marge! Help!" Homer screams. Marge runs into the living room to find Homer standing on the couch wearing her house-dress, and yelping.
"Homer! Take that dress off! You're stretching it!" Marge said sharply.
"Marge the freak got out again!" Homer protested. Hugo was running about on all fours.
Marge frowned at him.
"That still doesn't explain why you are wearing one of my dresses?!" Marge yelled.
"I have a role in a play?" Homer said nervously.
"No you don't!" Marge shouted at him
"Doh." Homer then said in annoyance.
Elsewhere Atreyu was still dealing with the Gateless Gate.
And sentient boulder people.
"Also Homer. I've booked us a romantic hotel tonight." Marge replied to him
"So we can get it on there!" Homer said in excitement
Oscar, Maggie, Lisa And Bart look at them.
"Homer! The kids heard you!" Marge told him off.
"Hey Lis! They are gonna ride the pony!" Bart told Lisa.
"BART!" Homer shouted.
"What?" Bart then said in confusion.
"Lisa does not need to learn about her creation!" Homer said to bart angrily.
"what it only involves-" Bart gets interrupted.
"DONT SAY IT." Marge then says loudly.
"But mom! Who's gonna babysit us?" Lisa asked
"Laura is again." Marge replied.
"Ooh Bart's girlfreind." Lisa then said Taunting Bart.
"The…. Haannnnddddd." Bart said to scare Lisa. His hand was still filthy.
LIsa ran off into the backyard screaming before running into the fence.
Oscar then laughed.
...