Brother from the Same Planet Homer forgets to pick up Bart from soccer so he is very mad at him and gets a new Dad at a bigger brother programme. Homer finds out and in revenge adopts a little boy called Pepe. Meanwhile Lisa racks up a huge phone bill calling a Corey Hotline somehow. Yeah it's early season weirdness in this rather strange episode.
PlotOne day Bart goes out to play soccer with Nelson, for some reason. And to make things odder, Nelson's missing dad is coach. And Nelson is smoking!
"Uh... I guess it's to show he's a rebel without a cause but come on man!" Bart says to the fourth wall.
Lewis is annoyed at Oscar because he grabbed the pentagon printed soccer ball and he's hugging it while squealing "Haaaaaaauuw! Spotty!"
Bart sweat dropped seeing this.
"Oz let go of the ball!" Milhouse groaned.
"Haaaaaauw!" Oscar squealed.
"Eye of the Tiger, Bart!" said Milhouse.
"It's the eye of the tiger
It's the thrill of the fight
Rising up to the challenge of our rival" Oscar sang.
"Okay enough!" Bart yelled at him.
"Eye of the- [Grunts]" Richard asked but the soccer ball clobbered him.
"I stopped it. And I hurt somebody. Ha-ha." said Nelson.
"Nelson that's not the point of the game..." Bart sighed.
Then Mr Muntz ate Troy McClure or something because he sounds like him. Err I have no idea why they chose such a voice for him.
"Boys it was hard choosing just one of you to take to soccer and acting camp but put your hands together for my son Nelson!" said Mr Muntz with the voice of Troy McClure for some odd reason Matt...
Nelson smoked a cigarette.
Everyone is going home.
"Come on, Bart. We're gonna go sneak into an R-rated movie. It's called Barton Fink." said Milhouse, Lewis and Richard. Why would those three be delinquents?!
"I can't. I told my dad I'd wait for him." said Bart.
"Barton Fink! Barton Fink!" Milhouse, Richard and Lewis chanted.
Bart sighed as Kirk drove them home.
"It's just me any you Nelson." Bart sighed.
Nelson stuffs a traffic cone on a Milhouse clone's head. The opening is already stupid. So there's clones now...
Bart winced.
...
Homer promises to pick him up, but forgets and watches the news, has a bath and other zany stuff.
Kent Brockman explains that Duff Beer Gardens is under attack by killer robots. The robots being the ones from the musical president stage performance. They have gone rogue after Bart's incident with George Washington.
"Homer, we're going to my sisters'. Remember, pick up Bart." said Marge taking Lisa and Maggie with her as they are off to visit Patty and Selma.
"Okay..." said Homer. Like I said, he forgets...
Homer then goes to sleep.
Meanwhile it rains and Bart gets splashed with mud from a careless driver as he waits for Homer. Bart tries to use the shinning to contact Homer.
"You mean Shining..." said Bart.
Shhh! You wanna get sued?
Homer then has a nightmare about forgetting to pick up Bart that he arrives too late and finds just his skeleton. He wakes with a start and receives subliminal messages about Bart. Maggie's burbling sounds like she's saying Bart. Milhouse writes Pick up Bart backwards and a message appears in the shower saying Pick up Bart.
"Trab pu kcip! Trab pu kcip!" Milhouse recites.
"Milhouse what have your mother and I told you about writing on the walls?" Kirk Van Houten tells Milhouse off for writing on the walls.
Bart sees what he thinks is Homer driving in his car, only for the car to drive past and splash him with mud again. It's revealed the driver is a Homer-like lady singing "I am woman, hear me roar! In numbers too big to ignore! And I know too much to go back and pretend!"
Bart grimaces. "What the hell was that?" he says to himself.
Then a nun is blown away by a fierce hurricane. Apparently she was trying to snatch Bart but God intervened in this The Flying Nun reference.
Then Jimbo was riding in the back of a car being driven by no one!
Eventually Homer does arrive and picks him up.
But and this is funny.
Homer was having a bath when he realised.
"Bart!" He ran out the house naked!
"Dad, hide your shame!" said Lisa.
Oscar laughed hysterically.
"Hey, Homie! I can see your doodle." said Ned. Hmmmmm! Ned not offended by nudity! Even more weird.
"Shutup, Flanders." said Homer.
Homer eventually arrived, driving his car, naked!
"Narrator no..." Homer groaned.
Yes!
Bart gets in with a face like thunder. Then he winced when he saw Homer naked.
"Hey boy!" said Homer.
"Ay carumba! Dad your naked!" Bart yelled.
"D'oh!" said Homer.
Bart got in wincing and keeping his eyes closed in disgust at Homer's nudity.
"Hey, boy, how was soccer practice?" Homer asked.
Bart glared at him.
Homer makes a half-assed apology and gives him an ice cream, but a bump in the road causes the ice cream to land on Bart's head. He gets even madder and bursts his soccer ball from squeezing it too hard.
"Look I know that you're mad at me. I'm mad at myself too. So let's just call it quits hey?" Homer explains. "Now how bout a hug?" However suddenly Bart imagines Homer's face melting into a horrifying, nightmarish ghoul. "Now how bout a huuuug!" said the ghoul.
"Yaaaaaaaaagh!" Bart screams shrinking away from Homer.
"Sheesh! Why are you screaming for?" Homer asks him.
Bart was clutching his chest in hysterical fear. Yeah that bit was scary! What were they thinking?!
"Anyway. Tell em Large Marge sent ya." said Homer.
Bart winced.
...
At home, Marge is furious with Homer.
"What time do you call this?! Bart's been out for hours! I was so worried about him!"
"Dad forgot..." Bart grumbled before going to his room.
Marge glared at Homer.
"Ha! Homer your nakey!" said Oscar.
Homer blushed.
"Bum! Bum! Buuuuum!" Oscar was being silly.
In his room Bart is trying to make sense of the scary vision he just had. What the hell was that?!
Marge then comes in.
"Sorry about that, Bart, your dad can be something..." Marge sighed.
"Careless. Mom what if Dad hadn't picked me up? What if something had happened to me? I had no way of calling any of you to pick me up. I need a cell phone."
"Ugh... Fine. But you have to promise to answer it at all times so me and your dad know you're alright." Marge was always adamant he wasn't responsible for a phone yet. But a situation like this meant he needed one.
"Alright Mom." Bart replied. Now he could focus on teaching Homer a lesson.
...
That night he watched Krusty in his room. Krusty for the point of a sketch came into a scene with huge fake ears.
"Look I'm (Insert celebrity with big ears here)!" said Krusty. The audience laughed.
Bart laughed.
Elsewhere Oscar was watching the news.
"This just in. A fistfight is in progress in downtown Springfield." said Kent. "Early reports indicate, and these are very preliminary... that one of the fighters is a giant lizard." Okay that's ridiculous... "Do we have a source on this? Uh-huh. A bunch of drunken frat boys." Um... "All right. I could use some names. I.P. Freely. Ugh..." Kent groaned realising he had been had.
Oscar laughed.
Bart was thinking about that scary vision.
Oscar was playing with a toy fire truck.
"Na na na, keep on trucking..." Oscar sang.
Bart sighed.
"Yeah I heard about your dad's monstrous neglect..." said Oscar.
"This isn't the only bad or dumb thing he did." said Bart.
He has a memory of Homer riding on a swing in the backyard. Homer won't let toddler Bart have a go.
"But Homer I want a turn on the swing."
"No!" Homer played on the swing.
"But you have gone for two turns." Bart whined.
"Get lost!" said Homer.
"But it looks like fun and I want to try." Baby Bart whined.
"No watch this I'm gonna do a big jump off!" Homer falls and face plants.
"Get Mom!" Homer cried in pain.
"Mom! Moooom!" Baby Bart ran inside.
The memory ended.
Oscar rolled his eyes.
...
The next day Bart found a big brother programme for orphaned children or children in bad homes who need a father figure/older brother figure after watching an advert on the TV last night. Bart went to the reception.
"Can I help you?" The lady asks.
"I would like to sign up for your big brother programme please." Bart asks.
"Just sign these papers." the lady replied. Bart does so.
In the interview He passes himself off as an orphan with a sob story. It works like a charm.
"So the last time you saw your father was six years ago?"
"Yeah. He left me out on the curb for the trashman." said Bart.
"What a revoltin' development. You brave little soldier." said a lady.
Then Oscar was interviewed.
"And then I thought my dad was gonna bear me so I..." Oscar sniffled.
"Go on dear." saida lady.
"I lacerated his throat. From ear to ear." said Oscar.
The lady was horrified.
...
At Evergreen Terrace.
"All right, boys, time to bag us a cattle rustler." Clancy Wiggum had the whole full blown police stake out with the SWATs and a tank!
A tank mashed Ned's door in.
"What in God's name Are you doing?" Ned yelled.
"Isn't this 7 42 Evergreen Terrace?" Wiggum asked.
"No, that's next door." said Ned. There were loads of cows outside the Simpsons House.
[Mooing]
Wiggum knocked on Homer's door.
"Yello?" Homer asked.
"We have an arrest warrant for a... Let's see... Ah an Oscar Tamaki for cattle rustling..." said Wiggum.
"D'oh! Oz! Get your butt out here!" Homer yelled.
"Mooooooo!" Oscar mooed being silly.
Homer face palmed.
Plot 2The next afternoon after school, a man named Tom picks Bart up on his motorcycle and lets him ride on the back.
Bart's friends are impressed.
(Lewis, Richard and Milhouse chatting)
"Wooooow..."
Over the week Bart hangs out with Tom such as hang gliding while Homer tries to make it up with Bart. However Bart isn't interested now he has a new dad.
That night.
"Bart called me a bad father..." Homer whined.
"Well we've got bigger problems. Look at this $300 phone bill!" said Marge handing Homer a phone bill.
Homer screams at it. "Three hundred dollars for calls to Corey hotline?! What the hell!"
The next morning Homer asks the kids about it.
"Now which one of you has been making these calls to Corey Hotline?" Homer asked dangerously angry. "Was it you Bart?" He doesn't notice Lisa looking very guilty.
"No sir." Said Bart.
"Grrrrr! Choke on your lies!" Homer yelled and strangled him.
"Homer stop that! If he says he didn't do it he didn't do it!" Marge makes Homer let Bart go.
"Okay I admit it! It was me!" Lisa cried.
"You did this?" Marge gasped. "But you're the good kid!"
"Oh thanks for labelling me for life Mom..." said Bart in the background.
"Please don't be mad! I can explain!" Lisa whimpered.
"Sweetie I could never be mad at you..." said Homer hugging Lisa. "But you must promise me no more of the Corey hotline calls!"
"I promise Dad! You won't get a single call on your phone bill." said Lisa.
...
One afternoon Bart was at a baseball game with Tom.
"Does you dad ever take you to a baseball game?" Tom asked.
"No. The only game we ever played together was poker and he lost all our life savings on a bet once...
We cut to Homer dressed as a hobo with a thick beard at a back alley street poker table playing what appears to be poker. Or blackjack...
"Hit me. Hit me. Hit me. Hit me." Homer keeps asking for more cards.
"Dad you've gone bust... your hand is 22." said Bart.
"D'oh!" Homer whined.
"If I ever get my hands on your dad..." Tom said dangerously angry with Homer.
Suddenly there is an announcement. "And now the game will be delayed for a last minute speech from the leader of the Springfield Communist Party!" said the announcement.
Everyone booed and jeered and threw tomatoes at the communist.
"Well this is still better than Dart Day." said the communist.
Elsewhere. Maggie from the future is an R Lee Ermey Drill sergeant for the Springfield Girl Scouts that sell cookies.
Lisa was too obsessed with Corey to sell cookies as a Girl Scout.
"The heck with that history assignment! And to heck with selling cookies! I need my sweet Corey!" Lisa screamed madly.
"No Lisa no!" Marge cried trying to get her to see reason.
Hugo who escaped from the attic winced exasperated at Lisa being obsessed over a boy.
At Girl Scouts.
"Alright maggots! We've got to sell a million cookies! Show me your war faces!" said Maggie from the future. Because this episode is insane as it is...
Janey muttered under breath that they couldn't possibly make that target of cookies sold.
"Drop down and gimme twenty maggot!" Future Maggie as a drill sergeant yelled.
...
Elsewhere to continue with the constant randomness this episode.
Oscar was on a ship with Captain McAllister. The Sea Captain Guy.
"Arrrrrr!" said McAllister.
"Arrrrrr!" said Oscar.
"Arrrrrrrrr!" said McAllister's crew.
Sea Captain did not think much of a scurvy ridden, lazy crew mate.
"Arrrrrr! Ye bilge rat!" said McAllister.
"Coooool! Pirates!" said Oscar.
"Arrrr! Laddie! You shall be my first mate!" said McAllister.
"Cooool!" said Oscar.
"Certainly not! There's to be no swashbuckling!" Marge nagged.
"Marge I am going swashbuckling and sailing the seven seas as a pirate! Arrrrr!" said Oscar.
"Bumpkin that's a fishing yacht and it's retired from service... it's a marina exhibit..." said Marge to Oscar.
"Arrrrrr! Tis true. But I like to role play with the younguns." said Sea Captain.
"Oz how can you even remotely find that fruit loop of an old mariner interesting..." Bart groaned.
"Because he's an olden times sea dog and talks like a pirate! Coooool!" said Oscar.
"Bumpkin you can't go sailing alone..." Marge sighed.
"I'm a First mate now! Arrrrrrr!" said Oscar.
Bart face palmed embarrassed.
"Oscar please." Marge sighed.
"I am gonna sail the seven seas! Just like Annie Lennox!" Oscar wearing a pirate hat declared.
...
Meanwhile Lisa was at Dr Hibbert's with a neck complaint causing her head to be looking at a bent angle as it was stiff and stuck in an awkward position.
"I have to file some paperwork Lisa so you just amuse yourself with these MASH colouring in books! Ahehehehe! Oh Hawkeye..." said Hibbert before leaving Lisa alone in his surgery.
Of course she saw he had an office phone and she rang the Corey hotline!
Another afternoon Bart is watching Ren and Stimpy with Tom. In Tom's future house.
"I like this meatball soup, Stimpy." said Ren while he contemplated blowing up Australia.
"Those are not meatballs and that's not soup. That's my collection of fur balls and stomach acid." said Stimpy.
"You eediot!" Ren yelled at Stimpy.
Bart laughed at the cartoon.
"Happy! Happy! Joy joy! Happy! Happy! Joy joy!"
Bart laughs at the cartoon.
Lisa goes to see Grampa.
He talks about foiled Rasputin's attempts to steal all the French onion soup which lead into a story about what he bought from Apu's the other day.
Lisa noticed Grampa's room phone.
Grampa went out to play cards in the common room with Jasper and the old Jewish guy. Lisa took advantage of being left alone and rang up the Corey hotline!
Corey spoke about things that rhyme with Corey.
Lisa sighed in love with the imaginary boy.
Then at show and tell at school.
"And then Tom got me this wicked awesome new weapon called the neural disruptor! I will now demonstrate on Martin!" Bart was holding a science fiction death ray gun. He shot Martin with it. Martin's Brain was fried and he fell over.
"He's not dead is he Bart?" Mrs krabappel asked.
"No but I wouldn't give him homework for a while." said Bart.
Martin was gibbering.
"Please let him keep that neural disruptor thing! That is super cool beans!" Oscar cheered.
At the start of recess Oscar came to blows or harsh words with the posh bitch wearing a dead ferret again.
Oscar had his ferret, Stanley with him. Stanley was scurrying about him. Ron Stoppable had Bart as Rufus, his naked mole rat.
Bart glared at the fourth wall.
...
"Eeeeeeewwww! You're carrying a rat!" said the posh popular rich girl.
"Stanley is not a rat, he's a ferret. Like the one you're wearing. That appears to not be moving..." said Oscar.
"Oz I think hers is dead..." said Ace, the blond vampire boy wearing a cartoon helicopter beanie hat.
"The only good ferret is a dead one..." said the rich bitch girl. Stroking her dead ferret she wore as a fashion accessory.
Oscar seethed in rage.
Before Ace could stop him he shoved the bitch knocking her over.
Everyone gasped.
The girl noticed she was bruised. "Do you realize that by touching me, you have signed your own death warrant." She yelled hysterically in psychotic anger at Oscar.
"I don't care..." said Oscar walking off.
At Skinner's office.
Lisa was helping Skinner with some project.
However when he had to go out for a second she used his office phone to ring Corey!
"Ye gods! That's a 900 number!" Skinner caught her.
Marge wasn't very happy when she found Lisa was still calling Corey.
One day while Bart is out with Tom, he doesn't know Homer has seen him.
Basically Bart and Tom were hang gliding. Homer is watching them through binoculars.
Bart comes home after being dropped off to find Homer alone in hallway in the dark.
"Hello, Bart. Where have you been?" Homer asks in a dark tone.
"Out playing with Milhouse."
"Don't lie to me! You've been out gallivanting with that floozy of a brother of yours! Haven't you? Haven't you!? Look at me!" Homer talks in a posh accent.
"Dad, you're taking this way too hard..."
"How would you like me to take it? Congratulations Bart- I just can't do it!" Homer is still doing a Virginia Woolf impression.
"Well, what are you going to do?" Bart asks squinting as if he isn't taking Homer seriously.
"Oh you'll see..." Homer pours himself a glass of brandy and drinks it in one go.
They then address the fourth wall.
"Ok what was that supposed to be about?" Bart asks.
"It's supposed to be a reference to Virginia Woolf." The director replies.
...
Homer then goes to the Bigger Brother programme to adopt a kid.
"Don't say revenge. Don't say revenge." said his brain.
He puts revenge down as his reason.
"Right that's it. I'm outta here!" said his brain. Inside him a door slammed and someone went down some stairs.
"That's ok, everyone puts that down, sir." The receptionist replies.
A guide shows Homer around. There are foster dads and their adopted sons taking part in activities. Suddenly in the shark tank the sharks eat a little boy in front of his foster dad.
Oscar laughs cruelly.
"I'm so glad he's not available as a little brother on the programme..." Homer says to the guide.
Elsewhere Comic Book Guy was opening up his store while drinking an extra large soda. Suddenly giant garlic bulbs attacked!
"Humans are enemies of the Galeks! Exterminate! Exterminate!" said the garlics or the Galeks.
Comic Book Guy rolled his eyes. "Worst reference ever!"
At the Simpsons house Oscar was watching Higgleton's War.
"How are you getting British TV..." Hugo asked confused.
"Hi, this is Corey. I hope you and I can get married some day." Lisa was calling Corey.
Lisa sighed in love.
Hugo grimaced exasperated.
Oscar turned up the volume of the TV.
"Can we keep the volume to a minimum Oz... I'm trying to read..." Hugo sighed. Hugo was reading a book.
"Well I can't hear what the characters on the TV are saying..." said Oscar.
Hugo sighed.
Plot 3Homer is partnered with Pepe, a homeless Brazilian kid.
Unfortunately he has enormous eyes!
"Aaaaaagh! His eyes are so buggy!" Oscar screamed.
Pepe winced.
"Oscar don't be rude!" Homer told him off.
"But he's eyes are so buggy!" Oscar screamed.
Pepe lives in a rough, scary poor neighbourhood.
Along the way he sees a hobo sleeping in a large garbage box bin/Hobo home. There are Clownjas asleep in the bin too.
"Awwwwww! Just like Oscar the grouch..." said Homer.
"Hey! I am not a grouch!" Oscar yelled dressed up as Oscar the Grouch off of Sesame Street.
There were also purse snatching thieves skulking about.
Homer meets Pepe where he lives.
They do activities together. First they have ice cream.
"What flavour did you get?" Homer asks.
"Grapefruit." said Pepe.
"I had grapefruit once..." said Homer solemnly. He had a dream sequence where he had half a grapefruit for breakfast. Bart was mad at him for some reason.
"I love you son." said Homer.
"Shuddup!" said Bart rudely shoving the grapefruit in his face. The flashback ends.
"Mmmmmm! Grapefruit..." said Homer.
"Uh..." said Pepe.
...
Meanwhile Bart is wondering why Homer has suddenly stopped trying to make up by trying to involve him in activities. Then he gets annoyed by Oscar's weird behaviour because he is hugging his newly reinflated soccer ball (The kind with pentagons on it) and squealing.
"Haaaaaaauuuw! Spotty!" Oscar squealed.
Bart face palmed.
Meanwhile Homer is freaked out by Pepe's huge eyes!
"Aaaaaagh! They are buggy!"
Pepe winced.
And Homer kept calling Pepe, Pepsi. Hehehe!
"It's Pepe..." said Pepe.
...
However one afternoon Bart and Tom bump into Homer and Pepe at the aquarium. Homer and Tom argue and they get into a fight.
Homer throws starfish at Tom who catches them and puts the starfish back in the petting tank. Meanwhile Oscar is watching the fish when Troy McClure is swimming in the tank naked and fondling a shark.
"Ay Carumba!" Oscar yells.
"Hey! That's my catchphrase and- Ay carumba! Shut your eyes!" Bart scolds him only to cover his eyes at Troy McClure's passionate display.
Tom punches Homer and he falls onto a fire hydrant with a horrible crunch.
"Dad are you alright?" Bart asked.
"I've broke my spine! What ya think?!" Homer yells in excruciating pain."
Everyone apologises to each other and they make up. Bart and Homer make up and agree never to fight again.
Homer leaves with Bart and Tom decides to be Pepe's surrogate "Bigger Brother".
The End.
"Wait! Wait!" Bart pulls back the iris ending. "You've left so many questions!"
"Such as..." asks the director.
"How did Homer recover so quickly from breaking his back on a fire hydrant?!" Bart asked.
"He's Homer." replied the director.
"And what was with that weird Homer Lady?!" Bart asked.
"Helloooo!" said the Homer lady.
"I... I don't know!" said the director.
"That song she was singing was pretty weird..." Bart commented.
"Oscar seems to like it." said the director.
The lady was singing "I am Woman here me roar!" again and Oscar was doing a silly dance.
"What? It's the exact same song Teddy used to sing to me when I was a baby to make me laugh!" said Oscar.
Teddy his living teddy bear appeared from his hammer space.
"Oh yeah. That one!" said Teddy the living teddy bear. "I am bear, hear me roar! (Roars in Bart's face) In numbers too big to ignore! (Does a silly dance with Oscar and tickles him) And I know too much to go back to pretend!" (The last line they sing together.)
"Can we end the cartoon now..." the director asks.
"Fine..." Bart replies as the iris closes over into black.
The actual end!