Chapter 25: Started Feeling… Worse
Willow pulls up the magenta sleeves of Boscha's jacket and checks her watch. It's pretty early in the morning. For her standards, 11 am is early. Though she was bickering with Gus yesterday whether or not it was.
I'm gonna be late.
Willow whips out her scroll. She checks the message Boscha sent her, to really make sure she understands her directions.
She's in the right block, it's next to this stand… At this intersection…
Ack! There's so many signs that she's going crosseyed! Willow swears she's been spinning around in circles. She probably already passed that old Victorian-styled building 16 times already.
She sighs, defeated but not hopeless, she quickly dials Boscha up.
"Boscha."
Silence for a few seconds that needed, and then a cracked voice comes through. "Mhm?"
"I think I'm lost," Willow says.
"Oh. I know."
"….."
"I've been watching you for 15 minutes."
Willow cracks her head towards the sound behind her. She hisses, a lighthearted malice fueling her voice as she squints at her 'bully', "You."
"Eheheh! Me~"
Boscha laughs. It's normally confident and bold, but Willow's knees weaken at times where she would let out a softer laugh. The weaker… Calmer sides draw her in like a magnet.
She's also incredibly pretty. She wore a red tanktop with some sports team on it, and her thick pink cardigan that just barely stopped at the top of her black ripped skinny jeans. Willow takes a mental note to give the jacket back at some point, but for now Boscha doesn't need it.
This girl must love skinny jeans enough to wear them in the cold weather.
Amidst her giggles, Boscha saw a subtle smile form on Willow's face, along with flushed cheeks. She stops, or atleast slows down, and her giggles evolve into stammering words. She tries her best to keep her feelings in check—but sometimes Willow's just too cute…
"So… Uhm.. My jacket looks good on you," She says, totally platonically.
"Oh…" Willow hums bashfully as she shows off her outfit. It was just a yellow shirt with a planet design under Boscha's jacket and a pink buttoned skirt and stockings. "Thank you!"
Boscha found it absolutely adorable. She coughs. "SO yeah I ah. You wanna go on the rollercoaster first?"
Willow nods. But to be fair, she wasn't paying much attention as the compliment is still buzzing around in her head like a ball of energy. Her mind only snaps out of her trance when they already arrived at the line, her hand clasped tightly within Boscha's.
It's not… This isn't a real date… Remember that.
Willow gulps. She rubs her thumb along the back of Boscha's hand, a fidget, before looking up.
"OKAY WOW," Willow exclaims. "Why is the line so long?! It's so early!"
Dozens of people were snaked in one long pathetic line. People pushed up against each other in tidal wave of sweat and chatter. Luckily it moved fast enough that you weren't just staying in one place for very long, but frankly it was still very cramped.
Well that's how Willow feels anyway, as her glasses are already jumping off her face as she accidentally pushes Boscha.
"Ow!"
"Sorry!"
Willow pushes her glasses up her face and contemplates just putting it in her bag. The frame is probably hurting Boscha's neck. But that would mean she would have to snake her arms around and fiddle with her handbag, which just isn't feasible. She ponders whether or not to ask if they could just go on a different ride at first, but decides Boscha probably wants to go on the rollercoaster.
And how can she say no to her?
So she waits. The whole nearly two hours in line. The whole time speaking into Boscha's back, and may have been sweating endlessly into her– Boscha's jacket.
She finally gets room to breathe. And breathe, she does. One extremely well deserved gasp.
"Come on, Willow!" Boscha says. Was she tall enough that she could breathe in that crowd?
She yanks on Willow's hand and drags her to the seats. What Boscha did not account for was the fact that her legs are a million times longer than Willow's. The poor witch trips a few times. They leave their bags, and head towards the seats.
It's only one person per row, to Willow's relief, she doesn't think she'd want to sit next to Boscha. She would probably cling onto her too hard.
"Do you wanna take this seat?" Boscha points to the front seat.
"No it's fine," Willow replies as she already sits down on the seat directly behind it, "I'm okay here."
As she says that Willow notices Boscha mutter "Cool" under her breath and the corner of her lips curl up ever so slightly.
Cute. She must've wanted the seat.
A low rumble emits from the rollercoaster followed by a harsh 'pssshhh!' as it jerks forward, and then moves at a steady pace upward.
It was then Willow recalls one tiny detail about herself. Oh it's alright it's nothing serious. No heart problems or anything like that!
No no… She just happens to… You know…
Throw up on high rides?
The coaster stops right at the peak, and her position on the train places her right at the very top. The clouds are passing halfway through the track, and she can barely see the ground. Though she can see Boscha bouncing in her seat.
Willow's heart races as the rollercoaster creeks forward.
Wind pierces through her face. The low rumble before now a vigorous shake. People are screaming behind her, but it all sounds like high pitched ringing as they're plunged towards the ground. She would also like to scream. But it's probably best to keep her mouth shut.
Oh hey and would you look at that a loop.
Don't throw up don't throw up don't!
She chokes back, but her face feels incredibly warm. Her fingers claw at the bar holding her still as she holds back, but the force of her fingers isn't enough to distract her.
By the time they've gone through another loop, the rollercoaster stops. There's no more track, and their backs are facing the ground. But they're still seeing clouds. For a moment, Willow is confused. She swallows back whatever was in her throat and breathes.
Then the rollercoaster starts to descend. Backwards.
The force pushes her forward. Her head bonks against Boscha's back and—fuck it!
She clutches at Boscha and attempts to shove her face into Boscha's back and clenches her jaws shut.
This is so stupid this is so stupid!
By the time the rollercoaster returns to its original position, Willow is just seconds away from blowing chunks.
But she recognizes the sound. The harsh hissing noise that means 'You're finally on the ground. Good job, loser.'
"Willow," Boscha calls out, her voice sounding more like music than it does words. But that's probably because Willow's brain is still rattling. "You can look up now."
Willow doesn't reply.
Boscha places her hand on Willow's arm and peaks behind her.
"Are you two going to go or what?" The tired demon employee asks. "We have other people dying in line."
"Uh… Give her a second."
Willow lets out a hushed squeal.
"Ahahah. Come on Willow," Boscha says in a tone that sounds too much like a distressed owner calling its cat. "It's okay now."
Boscha wiggles her way out of the cart, despite Willow's grip around her torso. They walk out of the ride, carrying Willow like a sack of potatoes tied around her neck.
Willow catches a peak of a trash bin nearby and quickly empties her face.
"Finally!" She huffs out.
"Oh. Ohhh!" Boscha pats Willow's back. "Are you okay?"
Willow lets out a staggering laugh. "Mhm! That was fun!"
Willow spits into the bin one last time and sighs. "So! Where next?" She says, almost like that experience somehow didn't faze her.
"Maybe let's stay away from the rides for now."
...
They wander off. Boscha allows Willow to hook her hand around her arm. She swears it's totally platonic!
She was the one who told Willow she wasn't ready. Yet, somehow, it feels so off thinking about how they're just friends. She wants it. Willow wants it. But she can't help herself from worrying. About how she treated her in the past. And what that could happen in the future…
Boscha shakes off that last grim thought. I mean-who's to say they won't just dress up and travel?
Not that it matters. Boscha's already treating her very poorly right now. Willow was probably miserable in that line, and she was probably scared to death with how much Willow clung onto her!
Titan… How can she make it up to her?
They pass through a few food stands, and as she contemplates whether or not offering to buy food would be a good idea, she notices Willow's eyes linger on a stuffed animal. A pink rabbit with a flowery pattern as its fur. It was the ugliest thing Boscha has ever seen, but she could tell Willow wanted it.
It hung from a booth with dozens of glass bottles and stacks of plastic rings. It's a ring toss. It's similar to the human world, except you're supposed to breathe the bottles.
Boscha looks at Willow.
"Wanna go win some prizes?" She says with a beaming smile on her face, confident in her ability to toss some rings. She has three eyes, and one strong arm! One. Because the dumb scar on her other still hasn't faded.
"Ehh… I don't know. These stands can be a little scammy."
"Pssh! Scam shmam! I can do these with my eyes closed!"
Willow laughs, and Boscha can tell she wanted that bunny.
"Okay! If you say so!"
A boost of confidence shoots through Boscha as they approach the booth. Luckily there's no line.
"How much?" She asks the hyena demon running the booth.
"10 snails, 3 rounds," He says with a grumbly voice.
"Easy!" She smacks 10 snails, and her scar feels like it just got ripped open. She sweats through as she grabs a ring. The small rough plastic ring, slipping from her fingertips as she contemplates whether or not she should even throw.
"Are you okay?" Willow asks.
"Huh! I'm fine! Just aiming my perfect first-try-no-scope-360-shot."
She throws, but the scar limited her movement to the point that it barely even hit the bottles.
The hyena smirks and then bursts out into an obnoxious fit of laughter. "HAHAHAHAHA Nice one kid! The was the most perfect shot I've seen! Sure your date agrees."
"HEY, I. I WAS JUST KIDDING," Boscha growls. She brushes off her left arm in a very show-offy fashion before proudly exclaiming, "I'm actually left-handed!
She is not, in fact, left-handed.
"Because y'know… I thought it would be too easy using my dominant hand so uhuh. Observe!"
She throws the ring with her left hand, and it flung itself outside the booth.
"HUH. YOU MUST BE CHEATING?!"
"HAHAHAHA TRUST ME KID. If I was cheating I would've already let you win. Because this is just pathetic. But it's much funnier seeing you embarrass yourself in front of your girlfriend here."
Willow speaks up. "Excuse me sir we are not–"
Boscha huffs and grits her teeth. She attempts to form a spell circle, but the magic only fades out in a pathetic puff. Fuck. She forgot about that.
"Damn kid! You can't even cast magic?"
"Shut up!" Her voice cracks. "Just let me throw some dumb rings okay?!"
She throws the ring with her left hand, it boings off the wall before leaping into the bottomless pit of rings. She drops more snails and rings. The bottles do not budge a single bit. She tries with her scarred arm. Nothing. She tries with her left, still no. Heck, she tries both hands. Not even a single crack.
At this point, she's shaking from frustration.
"Hah! Seems you're outta luck kid."
"I can do this I can do this I can—"
"Boscha."
Boscha's hot rage simmered into a cool and dark feeling as she felt Willow grip her shoulder. She sighs.
She's so ashamed.
"I can try," Willow says as she gently takes the ring from Boscha's hand, and knocks the farthest bottle down first try.
The demon's eyes widen. "Woah hey. You distracted me! Ah! Fine! Claim your prize."
Willow points at the rabbit, and the demon hesitantly chucks it at her. "Thanks to your date for wasting money haha!"
Willow tugs on Boscha's sleeve. "Come on, I don't wanna spend more time near that weirdo."
Boscha whines. "Okay…"
She couldn't even get her a dumb rabbit…
Curiously, Willow exclaims she's ready to go on more rides. Boscha agrees, it seems she's the one who wants it.
With the rabbit clutched close to her chest, she drags Boscha around the fair. The way she bounced on her heels made it seem like her first time, but her ability to recognize rides proved otherwise.
Boscha loved that. She loves how Willow could somehow approach things she has already seen before with such child-like wonder. Even at her lowest Willow manages to really give it her full energy. Boscha wishes she could be like that, but if anything she feels like she's barely trying.
The lines are shorter and quieter. Even at the most mundane rides Willow always has that adorable smile on her face. Even the carousel. Arguably the most boring ride there is, even with the 'horrifying' giraffes.
"Can you hold this for a second?"
Willow hands Boscha the stuffed rabbit, and she holds it with her injured hand. Willow clammers onto the giraffe; her foot gets stuck on the step, and her bag nearly falls off her shoulders, but she somehow managed to get on.
Boscha figures she'll just give the bunny back after. She has a lot of options because nobody fucking goes to carousels, but she still finds herself on a tiny giraffe behind Willow.
The carousel moves, and that horrendous clown music starts.
"Actually! I change my mind," Willow then exclaims. "Can we go to that thing?" She points at the bench, with moon-shaped arches with paint that mimics a starry night. Pretty as it is, why would she rather go on the thing that's barely even moving? At least these giraffes 'galop'.
"Wait. Right now?" Boscha asks, the carousel is still moving after all.
"Yeah!"
Willow drops down from the giraffe. Willow motions at her. Boscha shakily approaches the four-seater and plops down beside Willow.
The cheesy carnival music only fades out as she watches Willow fully immersed with the sights. What does she see? It's all trash and people talking.
"The sky is so pretty!" Willow exclaims.
"Mhm." She nods, but Boscha could only focus on her.
So much so, she pulls out her scroll.
"Willow…" She trails off as she inches closer to her. "Wanna take a picture?"
"Oh? Oh sure!"
Boscha holds out her scroll to take a selfie, and they barely fit in the frame. Willow leans closer, almost resting her face on Boscha's shoulder.
She's done it so many times before! But why does Boscha feel weak…
She gives her coyest smile, ignoring the wild blush on her face.
...
So it seems all is going well. Willow has been enjoying this date very much. But she feels as though she may have been dragging Boscha around too much. And the sight of her throwing up after every ride probably isn't the sweetest sight to behold…
Boscha helps her off the carousel. She holds out her hand as Willow goes down the staircase. Willow takes it, relishing in the rough warmth as Boscha guided her down the steps.
The sky had already turned a dark scarlet, with stars revealing themselves from behind the clouds.
"Willow," Boscha says.
"Mhm?"
"Wanna go eat? Or do you still wanna go on more rides?"
"I mean…"
Willow's pretty tired. From screaming mostly. But she was eyeing the scarris wheel for a while now, and some of the booths at the fair have already started closing up.
"Actually—Can we just grab some food and head to the scarris wheel to end the night? The fair's already closing."
Boscha shrugs, "I don't see why not." She takes Willow's hand. "But I'm choosing what we eat."
"O-okay."
They grab some donuts on the way, because Willow absolutely refused to eat deep-fried Oreos, much to Boscha's dismay. If she's going to have cookies she'd prefer if it isn't smothered in oil!
They wait in the small line. It dawns on Willow that the night is nearly over, and a somber feeling washes over her.
They pass the gate, and just before she enters the carriage she turns her head towards Boscha. She wonders if Boscha had as much fun as she did tonight. She can't tell it from her face, but from the subtle smile, Willow hopes the answer leans toward yes.
Boscha guides her into the pod. It's silly. If anything Willow should be the one helping her in, but she'll humor her this time.
The pod wiggles as she steps in, something that always startles Willow no matter how many times she's been on one of these things. Boscha chuckles behind her.
Normally, laughter like that would have her feeling sad and helpless; but it sounds like the loveliest peal of giggles now.
She makes herself comfortable, and Boscha follows. She sits beside her, because sitting in front of her would be too weird, obviously.
The scarris wheel turns, and they float up with a low rumble. The view really is spectacular at night. Orange lights dotted everywhere, a radiant moonlit glow that framed Boscha's face that made Willow's stomach flutter in the best ways.
Wow. She is…So pretty…
Boscha's ears twitch as she blushes. She pouts, and their eyes meet.
"Do you… Want something?" Boscha says, her voice low enough that it could be drowned out by the sound of machinery. It's so soft…
"Nothing." She replies, but it seems Boscha didn't quite hear.
Boscha leans in. She mumbles, with a voice stark and stoic, "What was that?"
It's quiet. So very quiet.
"Uhmuhm… I'm."
Their noses bump; Willow's face flashes a bright red as she lets out a small instinctive gasp. Boscha jolts back, a harsh blush tainting her face as she attempts to cover herself with the stuffed bunny.
Willow scrunches up into her own corner, hugging her knees. She shoves her face into the hood of Boscha's jacket and whines like a needy kitten.
'why why why did i do that why' Her mind repeats.
It was just as friends. She's so stupid! She can't even respect Boscha's space; she's so stupid!
Her eyes still long to gaze at Boscha, but what she saw was someone too embarrassed to admit she was uncomfortable, that she just settled on hiding in whatever space she can. Willow shames herself, unaware that Boscha thought the exact same thing about her.
It's so close. They could just take this happiness. For once in their life, it chose them, but they still decided against it. They're just so unsure about whether or not they deserve it.
"I'm… I'm sorry," Willow says.
"Don't."
What?
"I'm sorry. I'm just a coward," Boscha says, and in her words, Willow thought of so many different meanings.
Boscha's holding back. She won't allow herself. Not yet at least.
"No no no! I don't mind it!" Willow replies hastily, almost yelling. Maybe she was trying to convince herself too. She really does appreciate her presence, no matter how silly or awkward it is. She loves it. If only she could only blurt out those words right now!
Willow lays her hand on Boscha's shoulder. Boscha melts into utter silence. What do you say when so many things are running through your mind. When you know what you want to say, but just can't?
Because there are so many things that can go wrong. So many things she's still yet to improve about herself. To deserve her.
The pod stops.
They're at the bottom.
The employee looks at them.
It's their cue to leave.
...
On their way home, Boscha again escorted Willow back to her place.
"Heh. Sure would be nice if we had palismen," Willow says. "Maybe you wouldn't have to keep worrying about me and wouldn't have to walk me home in the snow!"
It was a sour attempt to break the thick fog of tension that had manifested around them, which only backfires.
"…But I like walking you home."
Willow blushes. Duh! WHY WOULDN'T SHE?! "Eh haha… I was… I was just kidding."
The light flicks on from Willow's house.
"You two! Come in here it's freezing!" Harvey yells from the doorway.
Boscha hums. She yells back from across the fence, "My mom will be mad!"
"We can contact your mother and inform her."
"You know my mom?!"
"Yes, now stay."
Boscha and Willow glance at each other.
This is gonna be one long night…