june 1990

—

"The little songbird's asleep?" Watty asks from the driver's seat as they're waiting for the light to turn green again.

Rayna is sitting in the back, and she nods when she catches his eye in the rearview mirror. Her daughter doesn't seem too impressed with her first car ride.

Her daughter.

She's a mom.

It still doesn't feel real to Rayna. She lost her mom not so long ago, and becoming one herself had not been part of the plan. Her only plan, for as long as she remembers, has been to write and sing and hopefully make a decent living out of it.

Watty assured her she and Maddie can stay at his house for as long as they'll need to, and she's infinitely grateful to him for that. She has her sister, too, and Adria whom she can always count on. She isn't alone.

She hears Watty clear his throat. "You know you can still change your mind, right?"

"No, Watty. He never tried to contact me." Her voice breaks just thinking about it. She'd thought they had something. "He... disappeared. It means he wasn't serious about us. I can't risk having him in my daughter's life if he isn't someone I can trust."

"I think a father should be allowed to know his kid."

"Sometimes, fathers shouldn't be fathers," she says, and she knows what she's talking about. Her own father didn't even bother to try to patch things up with her when he learned she was pregnant.

"It's going to be me and Maddie," Rayna adds, "and it will be enough."

—

present day

—

He can't be sure, but he believes he's been standing in front of Rayna's door for a good ten minutes now. He's holding the pie he stopped to buy on his way here, and if he never gathers the courage to ring the doorbell, at least he won't starve to death.

Get a grip, Deacon.

He takes a deep breath, and his finger finally finds its way to the button. Half a second later, the door opens to Maddie's beaming face. She must have been waiting behind the door, ready to leap into action. He feels bad it took him so long.

She rushes into his arms, and he's careful not to drop the pie as he wraps one hand around her and balances the box on the other. She grabs his free hand then and leads him through the house until they reach the kitchen.

Rayna is behind the counter, chopping vegetables. It looks like he wasn't the only one who wasn't fully prepared for this because when she sees them, she freezes. They are standing in the same room with their daughter for the first time, and the magnitude of the moment isn't lost on either of them.

It's Maddie's voice who shakes them out of their daze. "Dad brought a pie," she announces, and his heart skips a beat again. Dad. He hadn't expected this. He'd thought he would be Deacon, at least for a while, until they would know each other better, but it seems his daughter has decided they've lost enough time already.

"Made it myself," he says. He's the first surprised that he managed to speak, let alone make a joke.

"That's a beautiful pie, thanks for bringing that."

"Hey, what can I do to help?" he asks.

"You know what you can do? You can take this young lady in the other room, keep her occupied so Mama can get dinner done."

"I can do that."

Maddie grabs his hand again, dragging him to the open living room. "You're going to play a song with me," she decides, and Deacon breathes a little sigh of relief. Music, at least one thing tonight that will be familiar.

There are two guitars on stands in the corner of the room, and he turns to Rayna, silently asking for permission. She nods. "Of course."

He grabs one before he joins Maddie on the couch. While he quickly tunes it by ear, his daughter doesn't take her eyes off him. "What do you want to play? I think there are a couple of your mom's songs I could pull off," he jokes.

"We could play Sadie Stone."

"Yeah? Which one?"

"You Can't Stop Me Now."

"You know it by heart?"

"Oh, yeah, she does," Rayna chimes in from the kitchen. She looks amused. "It's all she's been listening to for the last few days."

"Mom!" Maddie complains, like it wasn't something Rayna was supposed to divulge

"Sorry, baby, but it's true."

"Well, then let's do this."

Deacon starts to play the intro, and when Maddie joins in on the singing, he isn't the least surprised to discover she has the most beautiful voice. This girl is the daughter of Rayna Jaymes and Deacon Claybourne, she has music in her blood.

It's complicated, it's how you laid it out
Everything is changing

Rayna wasn't lying, Maddie knows every word by heart. Deacon is so engrossed in the moment that when Maddie abruptly stops singing, he doesn't understand right away what's happening. He glances at the kitchen to find Rayna isn't there anymore.

"She looked upset," Maddie explains. He follows his daughter's gaze and sees the door leading to the patio is open. Maddie is about to get up when he puts one hand on her arm to stop her.

"Wait, let me," he says.

He lays the guitar on the couch before he heads to the door. He finds Rayna outside, with her back to him. "Hey, you're alright?"

At the sound of his voice, she turns around. "Yeah, it's just... seeing the two of you sing together..." She doesn't finish as she gets choked up.

"I get it."

It's all new to him, but it's uncharted territory for her too. She's the one who had suggested this dinner. He hadn't known what to expect, but he doubts there's a protocol for this kind of situation anyway. They'll have to improvise as they go.

"I thought you'd disappeared," she says then.

He's confused. "What?"

"I thought you'd disappeared," she repeats, on the verge of tears, and this time, he understands.

"I know. I'm not... I don't blame you, Rayna." It's the truth. He feels like he should, even Vince told him that he should, but he doesn't. "My life has been a mess for a long time. I'm not sure what kind of father I would have been back then. But I've pulled my life back together, and I'm here now. And I'd like to have a chance to find out what kind of father I could be."

She doesn't answer, instead she takes a couple of steps forward and pulls him into a hug. One of his hands wraps around her waist while the other ends up in her hair. He holds on tight to her.

"Okay," she whispers.

They stay like this for a few seconds before she pulls away. He wishes it would have lasted longer.

She smiles then, a real smile, and he can't be sure, but he feels like everything is going to be alright.

—

march 1990

—

"You're a fucking idiot, Claybourne."

He's just put the last bag in the bed of his truck. It's not like he owns a lot of stuff, so it didn't take long to pack. Vince has been trying to reason with him all the while, but Deacon has made up his mind. He needs to get out of Nashville. He doesn't know where he's going, but he knows he needs to leave.

"Just because those assholes at Lennox Hill's kicked you out, it doesn't mean you have to leave town," Vince says.

Getting signed and kicked out in less than five months has to be some sort of record.

"There will be other opportunities," Vince continues, "and there are so many things you can do in this town. Come on, you're way too damn talented to give up like this."

Deacon is walking toward the driver's door when Vince attempts a Hail Mary pass. "What about the Oklahoma State Fair girl?" he asks.

Deacon stops in his tracks and turns around. "What about her?"

"I don't know, when you came back, it's all you were talking about."

"It's been six months, Vince, this ship has sailed. She... never called, and maybe it's for the best." He doesn't mean it.

"You could have reached out to her."

Deacon gets into the truck and rolls the window down. Vince is standing on the sidewalk with his hands on his hips. "We'll keep in touch?" Deacon asks.

Vince shakes his head in defeat. "Yeah. But you're a fucking idiot, Claybourne."

There's not dispute in that.

—

TBC