Maddie knows her mom was lying.
She'd seen her dad's truck parked in front of the house when Talia's mom had dropped her off, which means her dad is here. She'd played along, though. She's not sure why her mom had felt the need to lie to her, but she's so happy at the prospect of her parents getting together that she doesn't want to do anything that might make her mom reconsider. If her parents have decided they don't want her to know yet, she'll play along. She'll do anything if it means there's a chance they will all soon become a family.
A family.
She's been dreaming of it.
Hoping for it.
She doesn't want to sound ungrateful because she knows she's lucky. She has a great childhood. She's always been at the center of her mom's life. She's always felt loved and wanted and cared for. And she has Uncle Watty, Aunt Tandy, Adria, Sam, Josh, Bucky. Her extended family.
But this, this is different.
She has spent so much time wondering about her dad. Trying to imagine what he would look like. What he would be like. If he would love music like her. And chocolate cake with vanilla on the inside. And glow-in-the-dark bowling.
And now she's so close to getting what she wants.
That's why she's going to stay put in her room while her dad gets out of the house and then comes back later for lunch pretending he was never here.
She hops onto her bed and grabs the book lying on her nightstand. She opens it at the dog-eared page.
The old scar on his forehead was burning beneath his fingers.
—
Rayna is showered and dressed when she knocks on her daughter's door. She doesn't wait for an answer, she lets herself in.
"Sweetheart?" she calls. Her daughter is sitting on the bed, and she puts her book down. "I just wanted to let you know, I called your dad, and he's coming over for lunch."
Her daughter beams. "Thanks, Mom."
"You're welcome."
Rayna doesn't move.
"Mom?" her daughter asks after Rayna has been standing there, not saying anything for a few seconds.
"You know what? Stay here, I'll be back," she tells Maddie without more of an explanation.
She heads downstairs to the music room. She opens a closet before she drags a chair over and steps on it. She grabs a small cardboard box from the highest shelf. She heads back upstairs to a waiting Maddie. She sits down on the bed, across from her daughter, and puts the box between them.
"So... this, is a box of things I kept from the first tour I ever did with the band." Maddie is listening conscientiously. She's so still, Rayna is almost sure she's holding her breath. "And it was during that tour that I met your dad." Her daughter hasn't budged an inch. "You need to breathe, honey, or you're going to pass out."
Maddie exhales. "Sorry," she laughs.
"Alright."
Rayna removes the lid. She hasn't opened this box in a very long time, but she can list every item inside. She retrieves a photo booth strip that she hands to Maddie.
Her daughter grins. "You and Dad look so—"
"You gotta be very careful what you say here," Rayna jokes.
"—young," Maddie finishes.
"We took those at the Oklahoma State Fair. We were both playing, it's how we met. We bumped, literally bumped, into each other." Rayna grabs a napkin inside the box. "And this, is a song your dad wrote for me."
"On a napkin?"
"Yeah." Rayna smiles. "We were sitting at a food stand at the fair, and he said he was inspired to write it just by looking at me."
"Do you remember the melody? Can you sing it for me?" Maddie asks.
"I can try," Rayna says. Her daughter hands her the napkin back. She starts to sing, but when she gets to the second verse, she stops all of a sudden.
Two arms around me, heaven to ground me
And family that always calls me home
Deacon had only known her for a few hours, and she'd inspired him to write a whole song about how the only thing he would ever need in life to be happy was the love of a family.
And then.
And then, she'd taken this away from him.
She tries not to cry because she never cries in front of her daughter.
"Mom?"
"Baby, I... I made a choice back then because I thought it was the right choice. I thought your dad was someone we couldn't count on. I thought I was protecting you. But—"
Rayna breaks down then, properly breaks down.
Maddie looks panicked at first because she's never seen her mother like this, but then she moves to hug her. "It's okay, Mom." She lays her head on her shoulder. "Dad's here now."
Rayna tries to pull herself together, but she can't seem able to. She needed this. She'd kept this to herself for so long. She needed to tell her daughter. She needed her daughter to understand.
After a while, she feels like she's calming down. They pull away from the hug, and Maddie smiles at her. "What else is in the box?"
Rayna smiles back while she wipes off her tears and tries to recover. "Well, let's find out."
"Okay." There's a beat. "Mom?"
"Yeah?"
"I love you, you know."
"I love you more than anything in the whole world, baby."
—
october 1989
—
No.
No, no, no.
This can't be happening. If she pinches herself hard enough, she's going to wake up.
"How could I be so fucking stupid."
"Honey."
Adria is sitting next to her on the bathroom floor of the crappy motel they've been staying at for the last show of their tour. There's a white stick with a bright blue plus on the floor in front of them.
"It's just that we got caught up in the moment."
How could she be so stupid after she'd had to listen to her sister lecture her for hours about responsibility, and how sex is never just sex, and how she should always, always, use protection. And she always does. But this time, it was Deacon, and they had gotten caught up in the moment, and...
This can't be happening.
"It's going to change everything," Rayna says.
Adria puts a hand on her knee. "It's going to be okay, Ray. And you know, you have... options."
It takes Rayna a few seconds to realize what Adria is trying to say. "No, Adria. It's just... no."
"Alright then. But you're not alone. You have me, and the guys, and Tandy, and Watty... You're not alone. And I don't really know him, but Deacon sounded like a good guy. Like a guy who would be there for you, you know."
Rayna buries her face in her hands.
This can't be happening.
—
present day
—
"So... about this second date."
Rayna smiles as Deacon stands behind her and wraps his arms around her waist. Their daughter has gone upstairs, and Rayna has been doing the dishes while Deacon has been on drying duty.
He kisses her cheek before he brushes her hair off to get access to her neck.
"What about it?" she asks.
"I've got a few ideas."
"Oh, yeah? Will it involve... dancing?"
Deacon stills. "Dancing? Probably... not."
"Why not?"
"Because if you ever see me dance, there won't be a third date."
She laughs before she grabs the kitchen towel on the counter and dries her hands. She turns around and throws her arms around his neck. "For me, though, would you dance?" she asks.
He chuckles at that. "For you?"
"Uh-huh."
"For you," he says, his voice dark and low all of a sudden, "I would do pretty much anything."
He kisses her, and when they pull away, it takes both of them a few seconds to realize that Maddie is standing in the kitchen's doorway. She's grinning like it's the freaking best day of her life.
Deacon takes a step backward and grabs the glass of sweet tea he'd left on the counter earlier. He tries to act like everything is normal, not like he was kissing Maddie's mom in the middle of the kitchen just a few seconds ago.
"So... you're together?" Maddie asks. "Together, together?"
Rayna and Deacon share a smile. "We're in the early stages of together, together, but yes, I think we can say that, honey."
"Okay," Maddie says, obviously trying hard to play it cool and not squeal of happiness. "Oh, and Dad, I know you were here this morning."
As she turns around to leave again, Deacon almost spits out his sweet tea.
—
TBC