Robin was outside Beast Boy's door, but he wasn't happy to be there. After that morning's display it seemed far more appropriate that he should be sulking and Beas Boy coming to apologize to him, not the other way around. But it had been hours, twelve in fact, and the usually boisterous Beast Boy had not emerged to eat, play video games, annoy Raven, or so much as take a leak. He'd been dead to the world. Must've been some party was all Robin could say. He hadn't forgiven him for staying out all night like a rebellious teenager, and he still wasn't 100% that no alcohol had been involved in an event the changeling barely remembered. Alcohol seemed like the least intrusive offense possible with these sorts of things. He'd certainly been crabby enough to be hungover, at any rate. Did he trust Beast Boy with his life? Absolutely. Did he trust him to make good decisions unsupervised? Maybe not so much. It wasn't fair, he'd never actually done anything to warrant this kind of distrust, but still, Robin couldn't help himself. The alternatives were much worse. He'd rather be mad at Beast Boy for going out and acting like a regular teenager for one night than consider the scenario where Slade had cornered him and was threatening him into being a double agent. Drunk was much better than that.
Starfire, though, was trusting and nurturing. It distressed her to see Beast Boy so… aggressive. Moody. Not like himself. And having Robin be mad at him for it was worse. She couldn't stand conflict on the team, couldn't tolerate them fighting even over little things. She catastrophized. And she'd already been to Beast Boy's door twice with offerings of the nutritious and hydrating glorg. Beast Boy, without even opening the door, had dismissed her. He said he was tired. She'd left the glorg once, returned with a fresh portion to find the first untouched, and now there were two portions of glorg outside of Beast Boy's door. Not for a moment did she believe he was just tired. So she reasoned he had to be sick, but the thermal sensors in his communicator indicated that, if anything, his body temperature was a little low. Short of barging in and demanding a sample, there wasn't much more she could do on that front. Next on her list was that he was mad at Robin for unfair treatment. Robin didn't see anything unfair about calling Beast Boy on his crap, but Starfire was insistent. She'd spent the last three hours being insistent.
Eventually she'd worn him down and now Robin was here, outside of Beast Boy's silent door, ready to apologize. Or pretend to. Sighing heavily through his nose, Robin tightened his jaw, pursed his lips, and willed his fist up to bang on the door. No response.
"Beast Boy," he tried, banging again.
Still nothing. It occurred to Robin that he'd snuck out again and wasn't even in the room. Fresh fury boiled in his blood at the thought and he went into surveillance mode. Pressing his ear to the door, he closed his eyes, stilled his breath, and focused. He wasn't sure what he was expecting to hear, maybe snores if Beast Boy was asleep. The rustle of blankets if he listened hard enough, indications of movement. The doors were durable, but not too thick. Sound traveled easily through them; they could have whole conversations with the door closed between them. Robin did not hear anything to suggest Beast Boy was in there dozing, or even reading, or anything peaceful. It was subtle, but through the metal he could make out the sounds of deep breathing. Labored, like someone in pain. And as he listened, Robin heard Beast Boy moan.
"Beast Boy!"
He called the name, opening the door from his end and stepping into Beast Boy's room. It was dark; the lights were off and the window was closed, curtains drawn, and a blanket hung over the curtain rod for extra shielding. Light from the hallway flooded the room in a stark rectangle, illuminating the empty bottom bunk of his childish bed. The blankets were messed and in a heap, but there was no Beast Boy. Robin's gaze traveled upward, to the shadows of the top bunk, and he could make out a hunched silhouette. A face turned to him and, though it was too dark for an expression, the eyes caught the light and glowed. Like an animal. Had they always done that? Robin tried to think back to a situation where Beast Boy had been looking at him in the dark and could find nothing. It was unnerving, having that unblinking, glowing stare fixated on him. The human clawed its way to the top of the food chain through sheer force of will and intellect, but retains prey instincts. They activate in the presence of a real predator and Robin found his waking up now. His heart rate went up and his muscles tenses even as his mind reminded him that this was Beast Boy. The same Beast Boy who'd never hurt anyone. The vegetarian.
"Are you okay," he tried into the stillness, meeting the glowing stare with a hard look of his own. "I heard-"
"What are you doing here," Beast Boy cut him off, finally moving.
He pushed blankets off his legs and jumped off the bed, landing in a crouch in the light. Robin couldn't rightly say he'd paid much attention to Beast Boy's eyes before now, what with it being just a little weird. He had spend hours staring into Starfire's eyes, could probably draw them from memory including that little millimeter of her right iris that was just a shade darker than the rest. Beast Boy, though, he'd given him a once over and determined that the best descriptor was green. He'd left it at that. Still, it seemed odd to him, his eyes. They were more olive than grass, still green but… amber. His pupils were dilated even in the harsh hall light, and Robin was getting the strangest sense that if they contracted it would be into slits. Something like an awareness of fear started to crystalize in his chest.
"I, uh, I came to apologize," he said awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck with a gloved hand. "For earlier. I shouldn't have gone after you like that."
"Yeah," Beast Boy agreed, standing and smiling a mockery of his usually joyous smile. "You were kind of a dick."
"Well, I'm sorry," Robin shot back without really meaning it, hoping to appease Starfire and go back to business as usual. Beast Boy gave him an evaluating stare and Robin frowned back. "Are you okay?
"You said that before. Do I not look okay?"
"You've locked yourself in your room all day and, just now, I heard moaning."
"Listening in? You do this for everyone or is it just me?"
"Beast Boy, I'm being serious. I really did come to apologize, but you've been acting strange all day. Did something happen?"
"I was out all night Rob. I'm tired."
"You're not acting tired," he snapped, taking a step into Beast Boy's room. "You're acting like…"
He trailed off, unwilling to make the accusation. He'd rather Beast Boy have gone out the night before and gotten completely wrecked. He'd rather he be hungover. He'd rather Slade be blackmailing him. Anything but what he was thinking. Robin didn't need to say it. Beast Boy heard and he bristled. His hands made fists at his sides and his shoulders hunched. His chin tucked into his chest and again his pupils caught the light and glowed.
"Like what," he asked in a dangerous tone. "Go on. Say it. Like what?"
"Never mind," Robin said, turning his head but maintaining eye contact. His own hands were fists and his heart was beating in his ears. "Forget it."
"Yeah, that's right," Beast Boy sneered, relaxing a little. "Because I'm not taking any of your tests and I'm not going to let you lock me up. So unless you wanna tie me down, I suggest you back off."
Robin stood for a very long, very tight moment. It hadn't been a suggestion. Beast Boy was threatening him. Beast Boy was threatening him. He got that it was a touchy subject, that the last time the Beast had emerged from Beast Boy's DNA he hadn't exactly been chill about it. He instantly assumed that Raven had been injured by the green teen and told him he'd need to put him in jail if he couldn't construct a better narrative. He'd looked so small in that chair, confused, frustrated, then, suddenly, not Beast Boy anymore. This was still Beast Boy, an angry Beast Boy, but his form was still as human as it ever was. His body wasn't distorting and bursting from his uniform, he could still speak. No one had been hurt. Robin accused Starfire of catastrophizing, but the truth was he did it too. The Beast Boy he wanted to believe was real would've taken tests just to indulge him; the one standing before him revolted against the very idea. Was he above holding Beast Boy down to prove he was still safe? Absolutely not. But was there call for that just now?
"There's glorg out here," he offered, keeping his hands in fists and his body tense. "Starfire made it for you."
Now I was Beast Boy's turn to look critically. An olive branch. A way out before he really upset the teen superhero. A way to back away from this ledge where he found himself. There was this simmering, sourceless rage inside him, and a feeling that it was right for it to be there, but as he reviewed the past few moments he had to wonder if Robin was right. Was he acting strangely? Was Robin right to be worried? And that's what he was, not angry anymore but afraid. Not of him but for him. Had something happened in the time he couldn't remember? Beast Boy dropped his gaze and relaxed his shoulders, willing his fingers to uncurl from their battle-ready fists. He swallowed and licked his lips, breathing deeply through his nose. Starfire was worried too, which was why she'd made the glorg. It wasn't real glorg, just an Earth approximation, with pickles and mustard, her favorite. Pickles sounded nice, water and salt for his aching head. Maybe it would make this feeling, like someone else was there, go away. Maybe he was just tired like he kept insisting and everything would be alright again tomorrow. Regardless, both he and the presence in his mind wanted Robin to go away before those prying eyes perceived anything else, and the best way to do that was to accept Starfire's gift.
"Thanks," he offered back, moving to retrieve the glorg from the hall. Robin stepped aside to let him pass. His eyes were hard and evaluating, like they'd been before, in that chair with the curved back, when he'd used words and threats to push him into splitting open. "I'd forgotten. I'm gonna eat it in here; my head still hurts. I'll take the dishes back to the kitchen when I'm done."
"Alright," Robin approved with a nod. "Get some sleep. We need you at your best."
With that Robin decided to leave it, for now. He turned and began walking down the hall, to his teammates and training and life away from those glowing, olive eyes and that cat-like lankiness. Hopefully into a tomorrow where Beast Boy was normal again. There was a beat between them filled with nothing but the sounds of Robin's steel toed boots thumping on the floor. Then Beast Boy cried out after him, sounding desperate and terrified for just a second.
"Robin?"
"Yes?"
Beast Boy, the real Beast Boy, wanted to say he was sorry. He wanted to confess to being equally unnerved by his own behavior, to being afraid at the gap in his memory. He wanted to tell his friend that something was wrong, that something had been done to him and he didn't know what. Submit to the tests that would show he wasn't in control. But that was the thing: he wasn't in control. The real Beast Boy wasn't calling the shots and something primal, goaded on by something else, something not Beast Boy at all, was in the driver's seat. So even though he wanted to, he couldn't apologize. Pride and anger wouldn't allow it. And this response, this rebellion, still being his in nature, won out against his gentle impulse.
"Never mind. It's nothing."
Robin didn't get too far before he found Cyborg unabashedly eavesdropping. Standing around the corner at the end of the hall, out of sight and completely silent. They made eye-contact and he didn't even pretend anything else was going on. Robin continued down the hall and Cyborg fell in step behind him. They moved quickly, quietly, through the labyrinth of corridors and back into their living room. Away from where even Beast Boy's sharp hearing could detect them. He was already testy; he didn't need to hear what was about to be said. What had to be said.
"Robin," Starfire greeted from the bar in the kitchen, removing her gaze from the jar of pickles she'd been contemplating. No doubt in preparation to make more glorg. "Did you find friend Beast Boy well? Is he resting?"
"Did you hear," Robin asked Cyborg without looking at him, moving to Starfire's side and placing a heavy hand on her shoulder. She looked at it, then back to him, her smile fading.
"Oh yeah," Cyborg confirmed. "Every word. I'd meant to go talk to the little man myself, but you beat me to it."
"Please, hear what? To what are you referring?"
"Maybe nothing Star. Maybe it's nothing."
"Didn't sound like nothing," Cyborg snapped. "Kid told you to back off; doesn't sound very Beast Boy-like to me. He wouldn't say that, not to any of us."
"He would if he was really upset," said Robin, removing his hand from Starfire's shoulder and folding his arms. "You remember how defensive he got after Terra, and how he was with Mento. Beast Boy controls it, I'll give him that, but he does have a temper."
"Maybe." Cyborg did not sound convinced. "Maybe your first assessment is right and he's reverting."
"Tell me explicitly what has transpired," demanded Starfire, standing. Her chin tilted to the right and her vibrantly green eyes darted from Robin to Cyborg and back.
"I went to apologize to Beast Boy, like you wanted," Robin started, frowning and reflecting. "I thought I heard moaning through the door, like he was in pain, but when I went in it was just Beast Boy. He seemed… angry that I'd come to check on him."
"That's one way to put it," Cyborg commented with a head shake. "You all but said the Beast was coming out again."
"Beast Boy's primal side? Is this true?"
"I don't know, Star, and Beast Boy isn't too keen to find out. He was… agitated when I even started to suggest it."
"His vitals are all normal." Cyborg pulled up the readings from his communicator, the device he kept stored on his body at all times. "No elevated heart rate or temperature, nothing to suggest anything like the Beast is going on. Not like the first time."
"And last night," probed Robin. Starfire reached out and pried one of his hands away from his body, holding it in hers for comfort.
"That's a different story. Records show that last night, when he went out, everything was normal until about 20:45, when his heart rate dropped. Not to dangerous levels, just low."
"Alcohol can cause that. Depressed heart rate."
"He'd know if he drank that much, lost memory or not. I don't believe anyone could get that drunk and not realize they were doing it."
"It's either that, or he's lying to us," Robin said, feeling Starfire's grip tighten around his hand. "Or something worse."
"Beast Boy would not lie to us," Starfire insisted, giving the men a hard look and coming to his defense. "I will not accept anything different."
"Then what are we saying," asked Robin, shaking his head and sighing. "That someone drugged him?"
"That would be very difficult. His biochemistry is different from an average human's. Something like alcohol has a pretty universal effect; any animal can get drunk. Even then, his metabolism clears organics quickly. He couldn't have stayed that drunk for that long, it's biologically impossible. As for drugs, he would've needed to damn near overdose to get this kind of effect. That, or someone synthesized something just for him."
Robin gave Cyborg a very hard, sideways look, and the cybernetic teen raised his hands defensively. Waved them around a little and shook his head.
"Hold up. I am not suggesting that someone drugged Beas Boy last night."
"Then what are you suggesting? Something happened, something he's not telling us about."
"Perhaps Beast Boy is earnest in his claims that he lost track of time," suggested Starfire. "Perhaps he fell asleep? The human heart slows in sleep, yes?"
"Not this much Star," Cyborg shook his head and frowned. "I should've checked the readings last night. I should've waited up for him."
"Would testing his blood help? We could screen everyone, so he doesn't think he's being singled out."
"Beast Boy's an idiot but he's not stupid. He'd figure it out. Besides, anything would be long gone by now. We'd need more in-depth biometric scans and, if what he said was any indication, he won't consent to that."
"What, then, can be done," Starfire asked. "How are we to know our friend is well?"
"We watch him," said Robin decisively. "He's right, unless we want to hold him down for these tests there's nothing else we can do. Either something happened, in which case Beast Boy will tell us about it when he's ready, nothing happened, like he said, or there's some kind of plot in the works. Regardless, one night out partying and being a jerk the next day isn't enough to warrant further action."
"Robin…"
"If he puts one toe out of line, anything that suggests the Beast is coming out again or someone is manipulating him, and that's that. Consent or not we get our answers. Sound good?"
Raven stood outside Beast Boy's room. To the best of her knowledge, he hadn't come out all day. Not that she was keeping track. Again, he could do what he liked. But it was strange behavior. All of it, since that morning when he'd cracked Dr. Light's ribs, was strange. And on top of that the whispers she'd thought she'd heard in his mind. Something not Beast Boy inside him, talking to him. It made her skin crawl to think of, but she also felt it made a certain sense. Beast Boy was vulnerable when it came to matters of the mind; he'd been an open book for Mad Mod. They'd laughed about it at the time, but in reality it was a pretty serious weakness. He was always assuming the best in people, that they didn't lie, that they meant well, and as a result he was easy to manipulate. Now that she thought about it any psychic could break into his thoughts without breaking a sweat. Beast Boy might not even know it had happened. He slipped into trance so easily… Raven felt fear gurgle in her stomach.
"Beast Boy," she tried, speaking loudly enough to be heard through the metal.
"Raven?"
There was a rustle of cloth, a thump, and then the door cracked. Raven couldn't help but appreciate the irony; usually she was on the other side of the door and Beast Boy was butting into her private affairs. Sticking his green nose where it wasn't wanted… But he'd always been there, checking on her, pulling her from her shell and out into the world that he saw. A world with laughter and sunlight. She didn't see those things in his face now as he peered through the slit in the door between frame and metal. His mouth was downturned and his pupils were huge, rimmed with an olive green she could've sworn was the wrong color. Not that she spent time thinking about Beast Boy's eyes. Still, the ones that met her indigo gaze now were wrong. Tired.
"What is it," he inquired passively, without any of his usual exuberance.
"I wanted to check on you," she admitted after a moment of uncomfortable silence. "You haven't been yourself today."
"Yeah… Robin came by too. And I can feel the communicator buzz every time Cyborg checks my vitals."
"We're worried. This isn't like you."
"Like me," he hissed, flaring. His sudden anger was like actual heat to her empathic abilities. "What exactly am I like?"
"You're not some moody preteen," she shot back. "If something happened last night you need to tell us."
"Why? What're you going to do about it?"
"Beast Boy," she took a step forward and brought her face closer to his, searching his fatigued and animalistic eyes. "Did something happen?"
For a desperate moment she felt him come undone before her and she knew. Something had happened. Vulnerability bridged them, each understanding that the other knew, each wanting, just for a moment, to be seen. Raven reached out a hand and placed it on the edge of the door, bringing herself even closer. Her lips parted and she looked at him imploringly, sensing his suffering and feeling helpless to do anything about it. Not if he wouldn't talk to her. He wanted to talk, wanted to say, but the whispers started again in his mind and a wall came down between him and Raven. Suddenly she felt this chill, a coldness coming from Beast Boy, and it wouldn't tell her anything. It pulled his body away from her, forcing him to step back. She couldn't say it wasn't Beast Boy, some part of him that didn't want to be exposed before her, not for certain. Yet it unnerved her.
"No," he said in Beast Boy's voice. "I was just out all night and I'm tired. My head hurts. But no, nothing happened. Everything's fine."
"I don't believe that," she whispered.
"I don't care what you believe," he snapped at her, reaching a hand towards the door control panel and giving her a dangerous look. "Good night Raven."
