April 9th, 2011
"Time to wake up, sire," a grizzled voice echoed, waking me up.
I blinked a few times, trying to clear the sleep from my eyes. Looking over, I saw Harley's disheveled mane of blonde hair sprawled across my shoulder. Confused, I glanced towards the end of the bed, where a strange creature stood. With brown scaly skin, floppy bat-like ears, and a staff topped with a glowing crystal, the diminutive figure resembled a goblin.
"Umm who are you?" I asked, struggling to gather my thoughts.
"Gnarl, Your Evilness," the goblin-like creature answered, its voice as gravelly as its appearance. "Have you and the mistress enjoyed your sleep, sire?"
"No, we're not... together," I stuttered, fighting off the blood rushing to my face.
Wondering what the hell was going on, it all came rushing back to me. The connection I had made last night had given me another power, this one called "Minions! Minions! Minions!" It basically gave me a set of four nests that spawned these multi-colored goblins called minions whenever they were fed life-force. On top of that, these minions were born with an innate devotion to their evil overlord, which, as it turned out, was now me.
"While you slept, sire, your minions have eagerly awaited your awakening," Gnarl said, rubbing its hands together with an insect-like fervor.
"They have?" I asked, slipping out of bed carefully not to wake Harley.
Taking a moment to stretch out the kink in my neck, I was immediately struck by the rearranged furniture in the room. The bed had been relocated to the back-right corner, with the venom pump now resting against the left wall. A new door had appeared next to the pump, piquing my curiosity.
"OH yes sire, they have been quite spirited but not to worry sire a couple hours in my iron maiden will sort that out!" Gnarl cackled limping along.
"You're joking, right?" I said, checking out the new room. It was a large rectangular workshop with maintenance rigs installed along the walls, hosting humanoid drones. Just a quick look confirmed these were the hammer drones I had obtained during the fight with Triumph.
"Of course, sire, it will take days," Gnarl laughed, running his wrinkled hand along the stainless steel table in the middle of the room. "Look at all these golems, master. Your powers are truly a sight to behold."
Although they looked advanced, I could easily identify several areas that needed improvement. The joints appeared inefficient and poorly designed, while the armor would barely withstand normal gunfire. I knew I could replace them with stronger materials like a high-strength titanium alloy, enhancing their resilience. Currently, they were little more than a collection of nuts and bolts. The only truly impressive feature was their repulsor technology, surpassing any other technology I had seen before.
Before I knew it, I found myself knee-deep in one of the Air Force drones, reconfiguring parts to enhance its range of mobility and increase battery efficiency by 15 percent, providing an additional 15 minutes of flight time. However, as I examined the drone more closely, something felt amiss. It seemed as though the creator had rushed an unfinished design. Although the repulsor technology was extraordinary, it did not quite match the quality of the rest of the drone. Its power requirements would drain the battery within an hour, but I had an idea on how to resolve that if only...
"Sire!" Gnarls voice suddenly interrupted my train of thought.
"What? What happened?" I asked, tearing myself away from the disassembled drone.
"Well, I'm glad you found a hobby. Don't you think it's about time you go smite something, my lord?" Gnarl said, looking bored as he stared up from the doorway.
"Gnarl? I was just taking a quick peek at the drone," I said, feeling confused.
"Sire, you've been here for over an hour," Gnarl said, wringing his hands together. "Mistress Harley is waiting for you in the other room."
"Oh, thank you, Gnarl," I said, pulling my hands out of the drone, only to realize they were a mess.
Seeing the mess, Gnarl sighed and handed me a handkerchief.
"Thanks, Gnarl," I said, wiping my hands clean.
"My pleasure, sire," Gnarl replied with a smile, tucking away the used handkerchief in his robes. "You should get going, Master. Mistress Harley is waiting. I shall clean up."
THUMP.
I walked back into the main room as another connection failed, finding Harley sitting on the bed with a bag of Fugly Bob's, playing with the ears of a blue minion. A big smile spread ear to ear on its face.
"Oh, Mister J, aren't they just adorable?" she said, squeezing the minion's face.
"Morning, Harley," I said, grabbing some fries as I sat on the bed. A thought popped into my head as I reached for one of the burgers and a handful of napkins. "So, Harley, did you get the food?"
"Of course not, Puddin'. The minions did," she said, smooshing the minion's face into a big, droopy smile.
"Wait, they did?" I said, starting to freak out. How the heck was I going to cover this up? I needed to move my door quickly before the PRT set up outside, unless they already have.
Harley must have seen me freaking out. "Calm down, Mister J, they wore a disguise, so everything's okay," she said, looking over her shoulder at me with a slight smile. "You worry too much, Puddin'."
"So, you guys can open the door too?" I asked, wondering just what kind of disguise could cover up the fact that the minions looked very much like goblins.
"No, sire, your minions used the tunnels," Gnarl said, leaving the drone room.
At the mention of these tunnels, the blue minion that Harley had been playing with wiggled out of her grasp and ran towards the Necron room's door, yelling out "tunnels!"
"As you can see, sire, the minions are quite excited about these tunnels. It reminds me of a summer I spent with a succubus I knew when I was younger, if you know what I mean, sire," Gnarl said with a droopy smile on his wrinkled face.
THUMP.
We barely had enough time to jump out of the way as the room flashed, and a purple swirling rift tore open above my bed, dumping a woman onto it. Freaking out, she tore the bed to shreds with a pair of bladed leg prosthetics. According to my newest power, her name was Gazelle, and she was a ruthless killer.
For a minute, she just laid there on what used to be my bed, looking dazed. Suddenly, she sat up and wiped her bloody nose. I walked up to the bed hesitantly, Harley following right behind, holding her mallet tightly. Where the heck was she even putting that thing?
"Are you okay?" I asked, extending a hand to help Gazelle up.
"I'm okay," Gazelle replied in a soft and smooth voice. "Thank you, sir."
"Are you sure you're good? You just fell out of a hole in the air," I asked, feeling really confused.
"Thank you for your concerns, sir. However, I am ready to get to work on whatever your plans are for the day," Gazelle said, sounding as if this was all perfectly normal.
"I don't really have any solid plans for today. What about you, Harley?" I asked, still feeling confused, but Harley just shook her head and put away her mallet.
After trying to figure out what we wanted to do, Harley decided it would be best to show Gazelle around the city via a shopping trip. Gnarl left soon after to go sort out the minions, muttering something about needing to oil up his iron maiden.
Checking out the Necron room, I saw my pocket dimension had shifted, adding a hallway and a new room. As I swung the door open to the new room, I couldn't believe my eyes. Instead of some ordinary space, it led into a cave, splitting off in four different directions.
Curiosity piqued, I cautiously entered the first tunnel. Inside, I found a large undulating mound of brown meat. At first, I was confused about what it was until a brown minion ran up with a wispy ball of glowing energy. The next thing I knew, a new minion popped out. The fresh minion ran off, their tiny footsteps echoing through the narrow passages. With their leathery skin, the brown minions seemed right at home in their stony caverns. Some used their strength to crack open rocks, looking for shiny gems, while others playfully wrestled in the dimly lit corners or hunted for bugs under stones.
Moving forward, I ducked into the red hive's caves, and the temperature skyrocketed. The volcanic tunnels were scorching hot, but to my surprise, the red minions reveled in it. They enjoyed basking near the fiery lava streams and would even swim in the molten rock. The demonic little creatures played together by hurling balls of fire at one another. Sitting in the lava was the red's hive, made of obsidian and funnel-shaped lava tubes that spewed magma like a fountain, creating a captivating spectacle as flames danced across the chamber walls.
Trying to cool down, I entered the blue hive's tunnels. The cave suddenly opened up into a series of underground pools and hidden waterways. Looking into a lake, I saw the blue hive. It was made of coral filled with pearls. The blue minions, with their webbed feet and adept swimming skills, dived into the crystal-clear waters, splashing around with glee. On occasion, they would cast spells that gathered the attention of curious fish and made the walls shimmer with a gentle blue glow.
Leaving the watery wonderland behind, I tried the green hive's tunnels, but the air was filled with poisonous gas. The green minions thrived in this noxious atmosphere. They darted seamlessly through the shadows, silently stalking a giant beetle with the grace of natural-born ambush predators. Occasionally, they would release their own noxious fumes, turning the toxic environment into their playground. I watched in fascination as they gracefully navigated through the hazardous caverns, their eyes gleaming with cunning intelligence, but I never even got to see their hive through all the gases.
After my back started to hurt from walking hunched over, I ended up back in the drone room. I got to work tearing apart the drone I had previously dissected. As it stood, the drones were almost useless, but with the knowledge from my powers, I knew I could make something out of them. My hand found its way to a soldering iron, making me pause. Just a couple of days ago, I was barely more than a homeless kid, and now here I was, adding circuits to a robotic arm so it could produce an electric shock. Putting on the final touches, I felt the One Man Factory activate, causing it to start vibrating before spitting out nine exact copies.
A few hours later, I had a fully upgraded drone and its nine copies, equipped with upgraded armor plates and sensors. Hooking the drone up to the workshop's laptop, I quickly wrote a program to run a systems check. While that was running, I looked over my newly built drone, feeling a surge of pride coursing through me. With my powers, I could create an entire army of advanced drones to save people.
Halfway through the systems check, a thought struck me. Did I really want my hero career to be solely about drones?
Leaning against the desk, I scratched my head, trying to figure out what kind of hero I wanted to be. It was a make-or-break moment, you know? After a couple of minutes, it hit me like a lightning bolt: Pendragon! I mean, come on, that name sounded badass, and I bet it would have put a huge grin on my parents' faces. With that decision in mind, I couldn't help but feel a surge of excitement. I had found my hero identity, and I couldn't wait to kick some villain butt as Pendragon!
Once I finished the systems check, I eagerly opened up some rendering software to begin designing my costume. Drawing inspiration from medieval knights and dragon suits, I started sketching out ideas. However, I soon realized that my powers did not extend to artistic design, leaving me a bit disheartened.
Nevertheless, I pressed on and started to test some basic weapons and tools for my costume. After some experimenting, I decided to incorporate the repulsors from the drones into the gauntlets, giving me the ability to unleash weak energy blasts from my hands. Additionally, I added circuits over the armor that would generate an electromagnetic pulse upon contact, capable of disabling electronic systems or shocking anyone who got too close. Finally, I welded a helmet together to conceal my face and add a touch of knightly flair.
Finishing my suit, it spit out nine identical copies, just in time for the moment of truth. As I put it on, the individual plates came together, giving my costume a kind of patchwork look even still. It was amazing. Once I put on the helmet, something magical happened. Everything clicked, and I transformed into Pendragon, defender of justice, armed with incredible powers to combat evildoers and protect the innocent.
Supported by a legion of tinker tech drones, I was ready to take on crime and injustice, fighting for those in need of justice.
...
THUMP
I could barely contain my excitement while Harley and Gazelle took their sweet time shopping. I was so thrilled that I almost didn't notice another failed connection. When Harley and Gazelle finally showed up, I practically danced up to them with enthusiasm.
"I want to go out on patrol tomorrow," I said immediately, trying to sound as confident as I could.
"Well, hello to you too, puddin'," Harley said, putting her bags down. Gazelle stood behind her, looking skeptical. "Are you sure you're ready for that, hun? You're not exactly on Batman's level?"
Gazelle gave me a playful smirk, crossing her arms as she arched an eyebrow, sizing me up. "Well, I'll be honest with ya, love. I ain't the biggest expert on this Batman character. But I reckon this whole patrol thing might not be the wisest choice. Do you have any training?"
"I may not be a fighter, but I've been working on my suit, and I've got the minions. Plus, I have both of you to back me up," I pointed out, trying to sound as confident as possible.
Harley let out a mischievous grin. "Well, if you insist." She wrapped her arms around my neck, giving me a very close hug. "But I want you to bring one of those necron weapons for protection."
Gazelle rolled her eyes. "I agree. We don't want to have to explain why Mr. Hero got himself killed."
THUMP.
My life became a lot easier as a new power added electrical outlets to my pocket dimension.