Chapter 15: This was a tough chapter to write. Angst. Poor Clace! Those pesky Morgensterns really pulled a number on them, huh? Jace is really going to have to up his detective game…and understand that he can't control everything. Clary will need to really stand back and listen to her heart…she's still very traumatized over her parents and Halloween…more than she thought. She's pushing Jace away and making impulsive decisions.
I do not own any of the characters, only the illustrious Cassandra Clare owns them. I do, however, own this particular story, so please don't be lame and copy/paste it elsewhere.
Previously: "I made her leave her home. She deserves to be able to come home, even if it's just through her art…you can help make that happen."
Clary opened the bathroom door and jumped, startled. Jace was standing in front of her, with a lazy smile and sleep-mussed hair. He was shirtless and wore black sweatpants, which hung low on his hips. Damn. "Good morning, Red…why so jumpy, babe? Come on, I made strong coffee." He reached his arms around her waist and pulled her into a kiss and groaned. "You smell good…like strawberries and… melons? I like it."
Clary instinctively kissed him back gently, then stiffened and pulled back. Melons? He raised his eyebrows as she retreated from his embrace. "Uh, Jace…I have something to show you…in the bathroom." She walked backwards, watching his face carefully. Is he acting nervous? Jace nodded, his eyebrows furrowed in concern, as he followed her into his bathroom. She pulled out the trash basket and pointed to the used condom. "Do you know how this got here? Um…I mean…has someone used your room or bathroom recently…or your hairbrush?" she gulped and looked at him, blinking her eyes. Please say no.
He looked into the basket and looked confused and annoyed…and nervous. "I don't know how that got there, Clary. I mean, it's definitely not mine… Uh, what do you mean by 'or your hairbrush'?" Clary sighed and reached into the basket and pulled the long blonde hairs from the trash can, between her fingertips like they were diseased. Jace's eyes widened. "What the fuck? Clary, I have no idea how that hair got in my brush! No one's been here…I swear. It's just been me since Alec and Magnus left a few days ago… I can ask if they had anyone over before they left, but I keep my rooms pretty clean…someone must have gotten into my apartment. I can check my security system app to see if anything's weird." Jace gently pulled Clary out of the bathroom by her arms. "Come on, let's have some coffee." Why wasn't he acting more concerned?
Clary sighed. "Okay. Let me finish here first. I'll be right out." He looked at her, a worried expression on his face, took the trash basket, and left the bathroom. He seemed sincere and she had never known Jace to lie to her, but the nagging thought of his womanizing past crept into her mind. How Izzy had told her that 'he could never be satisfied with one woman'. He wouldn't cheat, would he? But, Jace is a police detective. How can someone possibly get into his apartment without him knowing…and why would someone fuck around and leave a condom…doesn't add up. She picked up the shirt she had discarded before her shower and opened the hamper to toss it in when she saw a small pile of hot pink lace in the bottom. No. Clary's heart began to race and her ears roared. She reached in and pulled two items out, a rather large-cupped hot pink pushup bra and matching cheeky lace panties…Jace's favorite kind. What the absolute fuck is this? A smell wafted up from the bra. Clary curled her lip in disgust and sniffed. Melons. It smelled like melons, just like the scent on her robe…not new detergent…body spray. Cheap-ass skank-spray…he cheated on me. Clary started to shake and she jumped when Jace's voice carried in from the kitchen. "Clary? Babe? Are you okay in there?" Okay? Nope. She yelled, "I'll be right out!" I have to give him a chance to explain. He said the words to me…'I love you, Clary Fray…'
She jumped when her phone started buzzing on the bathroom counter with alert after alert, letting her know she was getting multiple texts. One after the other. Clary saw multiple notifications from a number she didn't recognize. She unlocked her phone to read the texts and gasped. The first text read, "Hope you had fun at your meeting. I had a great time at mine…nice robe." Then she saw photo after photo of Jace holding a bleach blonde's arms in some alley or something. She couldn't see the girl's face very well, just her hot pink lace bra through her white crop top and her skanky pink latex pants. They were kissing, her hands were on his chest, she pulled his hair…her hand squeezing his dick..wiping her fucking slut pink lipstick from his mouth…Jace lifting her into his arms with her face nuzzled into his neck. Clary felt nauseous and closed her eyes tightly, feeling tears drip from her chin onto her chest. Her phone buzzed again and she squealed.
She opened her eyes and blinked away her tears. It was another notification from the same number. A video. She opened it and covered her mouth with her hand. The shaky video was shot from above, a closeup from the perspective of the man fucking a woman on Jace's black and white bathroom counter. All she could see was the woman's large hot pink lace clad breasts jiggle, long light blonde hair fell over her chest, and her thighs spread wide as a man thrust into her. No faces. She could see a portion of her red bathrobe under the woman's ass. Her hot pink lace panties had been pulled aside. He wore black boxer briefs, but Clary couldn't see anything else about him because the woman's hands hid his dick from the camera as she rubbed herself while he fucked her. She could hear them both breathing heavily on the recording, then the woman screamed, "Yes Jace…oh my god– so big… my Sexprotz. I'm cum–…" Clary turned it off.
"Sexprotz…?" She whispered. It was Jace in the video…she called him our private name. At least I thought it was private…How could I be so stupid. Izzy was right all along about him. Clary sniffled and put both of her hands on the counter and looked at herself in the mirror. I love him. I love him so much. Stop crying. Think. Clary opened her phone with shaking hands and called Izzy. It went straight to voicemail. Fuck, her phone's off. She called Simon, which went straight to voicemail as well. They were probably both sleeping. Magnus is in Aspen. Shit. I need to get out of here NOW. Clary took a deep breath, sent a text and waited, her chest heaving. Please be there.
Her phone buzzed with a new call and she answered it immediately, her voice shaking, she sniffled. "Yes, it's me...Can you come to get me? I'm at Jace's. Please?" Clary listened to the voice speak and shook her head. "...no, I'm not hurt. I just need to leave here…I can't think!" She listened with her eyes closed, nodding. "Okay, I understand…yes. I'll wait for your text. Thank you."
Clary ended the call and stood up, screamed and threw the skanky underwear across the bathroom. She tore open the door and turned to see Jace running into the bedroom. "Clary! Are you okay, baby. What is it? What's wrong?" His eyes were wild and he quickly looked around the room, securing the area like any good cop, his eyes fell on the lacy pile by the bathroom door and then to her face. Clary looked at him with no expression on her face and untied her robe. Jace frowned at her and watched her hands. "Clary…talk to me. Were you crying? Are you scared? Come here…". He started walking towards her with his arms outstretched to hug her. Nope.
Clary quickly dropped the robe on the floor and side stepped him, walking to his closet, trying to ignore him. If I let him touch me, I'll break down. I won't be able to leave. I can't talk right now. She pulled out her overnight bag and quickly slid on black fleece leggings and a dark green zip-up Sherpa pullover. She felt the lump forming in her throat again as images of Jace and the blonde mauling each other flooded her mind. The video. Sexprotz. Tears filled her eyes and ran down her cheeks. She could see Jace out of the corner of her eyes, watching her with his hands on his hips. She pulled black suede flat boots on and stood up, turning to face him. She took a deep breath and wiped her eyes. She hated crying.
Jace's eyes widened in concern. What the fuck is going on? "You're crying. Clary…what's wrong. Why won't you talk to me? You're really freaking me out, baby. Come here." He walked up to her and Clary held up her phone and began to back up, rapidly texting someone, until her back hit his closet door. Is she scared of me? His phone began to buzz in his pocket. Had she just texted him? "What, you can't talk to me, so you text me? Is this about the condom and hair? I told you I…" He had put the trash basket in his office. His security app indicated that no one broke into his apartment. He'd have to collect the underwear too and sweep his apartment for other items. Somebody fucked with the wrong cop…and hurt my woman.
Clary put her hand up and shook her head, finally speaking, her voice shaking. "Who the fuck is she, Jace? Who's the blonde you were wrapped up with yesterday at your meeting…in that disgusting fucking video, sex stud?" She gestured to the pile by his bathroom door. "She left her goddamn hot pink stripper underwear in your hamper!" She pointed to his phone and raised her eyebrows expectantly. Blonde? Kaelie? Oh shit…how does Clary know about her? Video?
Jace looked at Clary and frowned. Fine. We'll do it her way. Sighing he opened the texts and his mouth dropped open. The pictures looked bad. Really bad. He looked up quickly as Clary brushed passed him and rushed out of his bedroom. He tapped on the video and watched a girl in pink lacy underwear getting plowed on his bathroom counter. What the fuck? She screamed my name and…our private name. Someone texted this bullshit to Clary? Why? Oh man…she really thinks I cheated on her–shit, I would too! Jace heard his front closet open. Shit. She's leaving. He whirled around and ran out of his room after Clary. Jace knew he couldn't tell Clary everything about Kaelie. She was a confidential informant and he was bound by law to keep her anonymous. "The law is hard, but it's the law" and all that shit. It had to stay that way. He couldn't tell anyone about her, not even Clary. Shit. Time to diffuse this. But how? If she would just let me hold her, kiss her…reassure her. She's been so fragile since Halloween. I need to protect her. Herondale charm, it is. Then, together, we can figure out who did all of this and why.
Clary slid her phone into the side pocket of her leggings. She pulled the closet open in the entryway and reached for her coat as she felt him walk up behind her. Shit. She stiffened and inhaled deeply, as he stepped against her back and wrapped his arms around her waist. Jace molded his body against hers and tightened his embrace. He leaned his head down and kissed her gently below her right ear and nuzzled her neck with his nose. Clary relaxed and leaned back into him. "Where are you going, pretty girl?" He murmured and started walking them backwards, away from the closet towards his living room. "Let's sit down and talk this through, okay baby?" He kissed her neck slowly and turned them around, his arms still wrapped tightly around her, he walked her forward to his large black leather couch. What the hell? Does he think he can make this better by fucking me? Men.
Clary got mad. She wasn't going to make this easy. "Jace let go of me. I'm going. I don't want to be here with you right now." She began to squirm out of his embrace as he pulled them both down onto his couch with her on his lap, rubbing her back with his hands, murmuring sweet things in her ear. "Jace! Stop it. Let go!." She yelled. He quickly let go, muttering apologies to her and slid over to sit beside her. He looked at her nervously and ran his hand through his hair. "Clary, listen. That is not me in the video. I don't know what the fucks going on, but I think someone is targeting me or you…someone planted the condom and the, um undergarments. Just calm down, baby. It's not what you think." He reached out to wrap his arms around her again and leaned in for another kiss as if he thought that magic, healing kisses was what she needed from him. He did not just tell me to calm down. What is this some Herondale formula for taming hysterical women? Fuck this sexist shit.
She pushed him away and stood and sat across from him on the coffee table. She threw her arms up and yelled. "Not what I think? Do I look stupid to you, Jace? Who is the blonde chick in the pictures? How do you know her? She obviously knows you well enough to text me, your girlfriend, to antagonize me about you and her. Why won't you tell me? Answer me!" She shook her head. "Here's a few clues I picked up on, detective…her long bleached hair is pretty close to the long bleached hair from your brush. Was that her goddamn underwear in your hamper? You know the hot pink lace bra that I could see through her stripper shirt in the pictures! How about her skank-melon scent on my fucking robe and the pink bra? You can't mansplain this by rubbing your dick on me! Do you think I'm in the mood to make out on a couch like a fucking teenager? That's your way of talking this out? I told you I need space– I'm leaving. I need to get those images out of my head…those pictures…your hands on her. Kissing! Her hands on your dick, Jace! That video of you two–" Jace lunged off of the couch towards her.
Clary jumped and fell back on her elbows as he slammed his hands on the table top on either side of Clary's thighs and climbed over her, looking deep into her eyes. She gasped and leaned further away, accidentally falling to her back on the table. His eyes glittered angrily and he growled. "That was not me in the video, Clary. Listen to me. I don't know what the fuck is going on, but someone is setting me up. That blonde girl is– it's not what it looks like, okay? I did not sleep with her. Who she is isn't important. What I'm telling you is. Stop being so fucking stubborn an listen to me!" He stopped then and looked down at her, below him on the table. She looked scared. Oh no. He cleared his throat, his eyes softening. "Believe me. Please, baby. I love you. I'm sorry. Please stay. Let's talk about this." He reached forward and gently cupped her cheek, leaning forward to kiss her.
Clary stared hard, trembling, blinking away tears, into Jace's pleading golden eyes…black eyes, black hair, black beard, pinning her to a table in darkness… biting her, crushing her… "Tonight, you can call me Sebastian, my Clarissa" Clary screamed. "Stop…Sebastian, No!" She gasped, pummeling her fists against Jace's chest and shoving him away from her. She tumbled off of the table onto the floor. Clary's chest began to tighten and she couldn't catch her breath. Panic attack. Jace hurried over to Clary and kneeled in front of her, cupping her face in his hands. "Clary, baby. You're having a panic attack, slow your breathing…look in my eyes, sweetheart. Breathe with me. He's not here. You're safe, sweetheart. Breathe." Clary nodded and felt her chest relaxing as she breathed with Jace for several minutes, looking into his kind golden eyes…not feral black eyes. Not his eyes.
She hadn't had a panic attack in over a month. Jace had frightened her when he hovered over her on the table. She felt threatened and helpless. It had brought something back about Sebastian…it was gone now. She knew Jace would never hurt her, but he had scared her when he lost his temper. She hadn't liked being manhandled earlier when he ushered her to the couch. Unacceptable. Whether his intentions were noble or not, he had crossed a line. She felt like he assumes she's too fragile to handle things…like the truth. She needed to be able to sort out the events and think about it all without Jace. Then she would talk to him about it. Clary felt her phone buzz in her pocket. Thank god.
Jace cleared his throat and helped her stand up and wrapped his arms around her, rubbing her back. "Clary…I'm so sorry I lost my temper. I shouldn't have put my hands on you like that. I shouldn't have made you feel so vulnerable…you called me Sebastian, baby. I made you think of that night…I'm so sorry. I love you. Forgive me." Clary looked up at him and nodded and wrapped her arms around his waist. Jace kissed the top of her head and murmured in her hair. "Let's not talk about any of it anymore, okay? Let's go lay down in bed and rest. Let me hold you." Clary sighed and let the warmth of his embrace comfort her. He's saying all the right things but he just refuses to hear me. I need space to think this out on my own. Why won't he just let me go?
Clary felt her anger rekindle. She shrugged out of Jace's embrace and stepped back. She took a deep breath and looked up at him impassively. "You're right, you shouldn't have put your hands on me like that…when I tell you I want to leave, you shouldn't try to force me to stay. And yes, that's how I felt…vulnerable, like you said. As for losing your temper, I forgive you. I don't blame you for my panic attack. I blame Sebastian. He is in my subconscious and that's something that can't be helped until he's caught. Thank you for helping me through the…attack. I do love you, Jace." She sighed and looked down. But…
He reached for her again and she held up her hands and stepped back. "As for everything else…the pictures, videos, everything else. I told you I need to think and then we can talk. I can't be around you for that, as I told you several times. Jace, I'm having a hard time looking at you, without seeing her. I think you should have time to work it out too. You're obviously not going to tell me about that woman, so I'm going to give you some time to think about that as well. I'll give you time to think about the fact that I know you aren't telling me something about her…why, I can't fathom. Maybe it has to do with an investigation, maybe she's someone you're helping, maybe she's a crazy ex, maybe you're a fucking liar and screwing her behind my back. That's a lot of "maybes" that I'm stuck pondering. Stuck because you're not being completely honest with me. If you think you're protecting me…you're not. You're pushing me away, Jace. So, I'm leaving and you're not going to touch me or try to stop me." Clary's eyes began to well with tears. Don't cry. She turned away from him and walked to the closet with her back to him.
Jace watched her walk away in stunned silence. He knew he had really fucked up. He had lost his temper and frightened her…she's leaving. She was right. I need to give her space to process what happened here. I need to figure it out too…someone is fucking with my life…with my woman. I will find out who. He ran his hands through his hair as he watched her. He just wanted to come up behind her again and carry her off to his bed to talk and apologize for hours…hold her. Protect her from him. Sebastian. Stop it. You can't protect her from her own subconscious…She looked into my eyes and called me Sebastian. I need to find him and erase that monster.
She pulled her phone and quickly typed a text. Who is she texting? She pocketed her phone and pulled her coat out of the closet, accidentally knocking his jacket to the floor. He rushed forward to pick it up, to do anything that put him closer to her. She beat him to it and lifted the jacket from the floor and hung it on a hanger back in the closet. Something white fluttered to the floor of the closet from his jacket pocket. She leaned back down and picked it up. Shit.
She blew out a harsh breath, wiped her hand over her face and laughed humorlessly as she turned to look at him. Her beautiful green eyes were full of hurt. She reached her hand out to him and handed him the hot pink lipstick-stained napkin he had snatched from Kaelie the day before. Not good. "Clary, baby…" He reached out to touch her cheek and she stepped out of his reach and walked to his door, opened it and slammed it shut behind her. Shit. This was bad…He walked over to his window to see if her cab had arrived yet. He just wanted to make sure she stayed safe. Or did she get an Uber? He looked down to the pickup lane below and jumped. Why is Jonathan Fucking Morgenstern waiting by his green bitch-boy mobile…for my girl, that's why. Jace growled and grabbed his curtains and jerked them off the rods. He ran to his door and threw on his jacket and boots, then rushed out after Clary.
She had already boarded the elevator and was going down when Jace ran down the hall. He lived on the third floor, so he quickly used the stairs, hoping to catch her before she left with him. "Clary. Wait–" he called after her, before she opened the door to his lobby to leave. She stopped and whirled around, her red curls flurried around her and then settled onto the black wool of her coat. Her brows raised in exasperation, she sucked her bottom lip into her mouth. She was so beautiful…and pissed.
Jace hurried up to her, stopping just inches from her, stuffing his hands in his pockets. Don't touch her. Be cool. "I'm sorry. I just want to make sure you get home safely. You shouldn't be alone after your panic attack, sweetheart." He took a hand out of his pocket and set his hand on her shoulder. He slid his hand down, holding her arm. "Let me drive you back to your place…come on let's go to the garage. I just need you to–" He stopped as she tilted her head and narrowed her eyes and sighed. "... "I just need–' Listen to yourself, Jace…what you 'need' is to back off. Again, I have asked you several times for space to think. I already have a ride, okay? I couldn't reach Izzy or Simon…you know Magnus is out of town…so, I texted Jonathan. He lives nearby…and I didn't want to wait for a cab. I figured you'd try to talk me into letting you drive…then you'd try to talk me into coming up to my apartment…then– I'm exhausted, Jace– Let go."
A strong icy breeze blew into the lobby as the door opened behind Clary. Her hair blew forward around her face and tickled Jace's face. "I believe the lady asked you to let go…" Jonathan Fucking Morgenstern. "Is everything alright, Clarissa? Are you ready to go?"Clary jumped and started to turn away from Jace to face Jonathan. Jace released her arm, glaring over Clary's head into Jonathan's black eyes. Jonathan returned his glare, his eyes flicking between Clary and Jace.
Jonathan stepped back and held the door open for Clary as she walked out towards his car. He turned back to Jace and smirked. "Don't worry detective, I'll take good care of Clarissa." He then turned and walked to his car, opening the door for Clary as she slipped in. Jace watched as Jonathan Morgenstern drove away with his girl. Again.
Jace ran his hands over his face and up through his hair. "Fuck!" he yelled. He had seriously screwed up with Clary and he knew it. Why couldn't he have just backed off when she asked? He had to try to protect her without pushing her away. He had scared her…triggered her panic attack. "I am such a dumbass…" He groaned. She needed to feel safe with him and she hadn't. I need to figure out what is going on with those pictures and that video. Jace turned to go back to his apartment. Someone was trying to make it seem like he's fucking around…but why? Who? I need to talk to Kaelie. Fuck. She better come clean. She's knee-deep in this shit show and I'm going to shut it down. I will not lose Clary over this.