Chapter 44: I think I finally know how this is going to end! I'm still several chapters from Endgame, though. I tell long stories. Ding-dong wedding bells. Don't despair! Clary finds out more of her mother's secrets… and they're big ones. What should she do with this info?
I do not own any of the characters, only the illustrious Cassandra Clare owns them. I do, however, own this particular story, so please don't be lame and copy/paste it elsewhere.
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Previously: "She should have been mine, a Morgenstern… She will be now. Jonathan shall return the favor by siring children with your sexy little daughter. And if he doesn't do it in a timely manner, perhaps I shall take the honor from him. She is so much like her mother, after all…"
Clary stomped into her room and slammed her door, locking it. As if that will keep anyone out. She picked up a pillow and shoved it against her face, screaming. I don't know if I can keep this shit up. Every time I think I'm getting ahead something pops up to screw me over. She had two hours before The Team would be here to prepare her and serve her on a silver platter to marry Jonathan. He would be even more possessive after they married. I'm never getting out of here… he probably won't leave me alone for a second at the gala. I can't keep faking it with him. I'm going to break eventually. He's insatiable…
Jonathan had been on her constantly the past few days, anytime they were at his penthouse, alone, he pulled her into bed… Ever since she lied and told him she was falling in love with him, he wanted to have sex all the time. And it was good sex, which was the most upsetting. I fucking hate him so much. How can he sexually manipulate me so easily? What the fuck is wrong with me? I think I may be losing it… breaking. He's crushing my will and he doesn't even know it.
Clary began to tremble as tears filled her eyes. Mom, if you're up there, help me. What should I do? I need you. Clary missed Simon and Izzy. They must be so worried about me. I could really use a hug from my best friends. I hope Jace has updated them. Clary sank to the floor in front of her mother's trunk, and cried. She took a deep breath and wiped her tears away. Mom's journal…from Tessa. She opened the trunk and pulled out the heavy leather journal. Getting up she walked to her bed, laid back against the pillows and started reading. Clary realized it was written when Jocelyn was pregnant with her. It only consisted of one, long entry, addressed to "My Unborn Daughter"- Me… Clary read on and gasped. Her mother's secrets were more awful than she could have ever imagined. Forgive me for resenting you, mom.
Her mother had written a manifesto of sorts chronicling the last few years of her marriage to Valentine. Clary's eyes shot wide and terror engulfed her as she read the entire entry. Valentine had lied to her about everything. What little truth he did stick to was twisted. He is just evil. Clary read that her mother hadn't had issues conceiving at all, as he had told Clary. She had been pregnant and Valentine cheated on Jocelyn, getting another woman pregnant at the same time. Lilith Verlac. Verlac? What the hell? Lilith, who was almost as far along as Clary's mom, apparently wanted Valentine for herself. She physically attacked Jocelyn, telling her about Valentine's criminal activities. When her mother tried to confront Valentine, she overheard him order the murder of an enemy and caused a scene. She realized he wasn't who she thought he was. Valentine become angry and dragged her to their room, beat and raped her for challenging him in front of his subordinates. He raped his pregnant wife. Oh my god… oh mom. No wonder you were so nervous all the time— the trauma. Clary read on…
Jocelyn attempted to escape and took a car, but was forced off the road by Morgenstern security and crashed into a tree. She wrote that she remembered doctors, so much blood, Valentine's tearful face, her baby's beautiful cry, his bright red curls. Jonathan Christopher Morgenstern. Red? I don't understand. She wrote of awakening weeks later with amnesia to a beautiful white-haired baby boy being thrust upon her. How she knew he wasn't hers, how she despaired. Jonathan?
Clary read on, learning that her mother suffered terrible depression for the next year and couldn't bond with the baby… Then when Jonathan was around two, Jocelyn remembered everything about the day her son was born. Lilith was white-haired Jonathan Christopher's birth mother and Jocelyn's baby had died because of the trauma from the car crash. Clary stopped reading, gasping, her heart pounding. He replaced my mother's deceased son with Lilith's. Poor mom… poor Jonathan… How could he do something so twisted?
From there, Jocelyn wrote that she confronted Valentine with the truth and things had turned violent. Afterwards, he kept her prisoner for weeks, locked in her "inner sanctum". Clary looked around her room. My room… this room was her prison. My prison. Oh my god. He drugged her often, forcing himself on her. Rapist. He made sure that Lucian Graymark was there to look after her, when he couldn't. Dad. Jocelyn and Lucian fell in love and she became pregnant, but had no idea which man was the father. Pregnant with me… Lucian confessed to Jocelyn that he was British Intelligence and helped her escape Valentine. They made it to New York, with the help of Jocelyn's parents, the Fairchilds. My grandparents. Her mother wrote that after her divorce was finalized, her parents died in a fire and she knew Valentine had killed them. To punish her for divorcing him. So cruel.
She indicated that because she divorced him from the United States, she was able to usurp Idrian laws and secure her Fairchild inheritance, which probably infuriated the power hungry bastard. Her mother had become a U.S. citizen during her pregnancy. Does that mean Jonathan gets my inheritance and lands if I marry him? I'll have to do what mom did… dissolve or annul the marriage in New York, if I can. I'll be damned if the Morgensterns steal my legacy.
Jesus. Did Valentine burn my parent's house too? To punish mom and dad? Fuck. Does Jonathan know any of this? Did Valentine have him kill my parents? I have to play it cool around Valentine. He is a complete psychotic. At least I know how to handle Jonathan… just let him have me. Valentine is another story entirely. I can't trigger him. She flopped back on the bed, shaking and whimpering. Oh god, I'm so scared.
Clary threw the book onto the floor and heard a second thud. Peeking over the side of the bed, she saw a cell phone next to the journal. Clary nearly screamed and scrambled onto the floor to scoop it up with the book. She opened the book and saw that there had been a false in the back, where the phone must have been hidden. Shit. Also inside the hidden compartment was a small handgun. Just my size. Oh my god. No wonder it was so heavy. Tessa Gray, you are a queen. Clary checked the gun. Fully loaded. She was glad that her dad taught her to shoot… and she was pretty good. I've got to hide this. I'll put it in my boot in the back of my closet. She put the book back in the trunk and ran to her wardrobe, closing the door. She ran all the way to the back, turned the phone on, and quickly dialed Jace. Please pick up, baby. Oh my god.
Jace leaned over the table, memorizing the schematic of the reception hall, where the gallery opening gala would be held in two days. Will hummed a mindless tune and marked the fire exits. Their counterfeit invitations and tuxedos had arrived today, courtesy of Tessa Gray. He had really had to convince Will that he would follow protocol for the gala mission. He admittedly had fucked up royally at Edom. He had just lost his focus when he had Clary in his arms. He knew she wouldn't come willingly without Amatis and risked his team's safety with his stubbornness, in trying to force her.
He remembered his heart breaking as she went back with Jonathan. How the fucker had mauled her face, staking his claim to her. Jace shuddered when he thought about what he probably did to her later. He was no fool, he knew Clary had to play along with Morgenstern… had to be compliant in his bed. He saw how she pretended to like his kisses, caresses, and groping at Edom. She is the strongest person I've ever known… with everything she has had to endure. I will do anything to free her.
He jumped when his phone buzzed in his pocket. He gasped and answered it immediately. "Clary! Oh my god. You found the phone in the book…and the gun?" Will shot him a shocked look. Jace quickly put her on speaker. Jace's heart began to race when he heard her quivering voice. "Jace... I'm so sorry I left you at Edom… I just couldn't leave Amatis with them. I love you so much." Jace quickly cut her off. "Clary, do not apologize, baby. I understand. You do what you have to. There is nothing to forgive, my love. We will be together again soon. For good. I prom–"
Will sighed heavily and put his hand up. "I'm sorry to interrupt you two lovebirds. Hello, Clary, it's Will. Real quick, love. I am going to text you full details about the gala, with explicit instructions of where to go and meet us… as well as where to go, if plan A fails. We'll do everything we can to get you back, Clary. Are you with me, love?" Clary cleared her throat. "I am Will. I got it and will watch for it. I have to go soon. I put the gun in a safe place. I'll hide the phone with it. I don't have enough bullets to shoot my way out. Too much security, but I'll keep it for an emergency. Um… I have something else to tell you both." Jace furrowed his eyes when Clary's voice cracked. "Valentine is forcing me to marry Jonathan tonight. I– I don't have a choice or he's going to hurt Amatis. He told me I can't see anyone from New York ever again… I'm afraid they're going to win. I'm so tired of fighting… I have to do it– marry that psycho. I'm so sorry Jace. I'm so scared. I've been playing Jonathan… making him think I'm trying to fucking forgive him, trying to gain control of him, turn him against Valentine… he's really– obsessed with me… he's sometimes Sebastian. Sebastian… When I try to fight back. I get punished. Shit. He's never going to let me go, Jace… I'm scared he's going to kill you, baby. He's taken everything from me. I can't lose you too." I'm so goddamn helpless. Fuck. Clary began to sob and Jace grabbed his hair, stifling a scream, rocking. Will shook his head at Jace, placing a hand on his shoulder. "Calm, cousin. Stop. She needs you to be strong…"
Jace took a deep breath and nodded, then cleared his throat. "Clary. I need you to take a deep breath, sweetheart. You do what you have to do to survive, baby. Don't do anything to give any of them an excuse to hurt you, okay. We will be together soon and back in New York with Izzy and stupid Simon, before you know it. I promise you that. I love you. Don't ever forget that." He heard her take a deep, shaky breath on the other side of the phone, then another. "Okay. Okay. Shit. Someone's knocking. I have to go hide the phone, baby. I love you, Jace. I'll see you at the gala. I love you." The call ended and Jace groaned and pressed the phone against his forehead. Will put his hand back on his shoulder and squeezed tightly. "This is no time to despair, Jace. This is the time to be strong and get back to planning this. We are getting your girl at this gala. I had no idea Morgenstern was such a sick twist. Fuck the consequences. I don't fucking care." Jace looked up fiercely into Will's icy blue eyes. He nodded and clasped his cousin's shoulder in return. "Agreed. Fuck the consequences, Will."
Clary smiled sadly into the mirror as a young woman zipped the back of her gown and clasped the Fairchild emeralds around her neck. Clary thanked her softly and fastened the earrings on her lobes. The Team had really given her the works. Freshly waxed, bathed in lavender oil, mani-pedi, wedding-level makeup and hair, beautiful gown, gorgeous torturous shoes… Izzy would be so proud of her. As requested, The Team had tamed her curls into long, silken waves, the sides pulled up, adorned with gold and diamond hairpins. Her mother's gown fit her perfectly. It had obviously been altered, as Jocelyn had been much taller than Clary. The bodice made her waist look tiny and emphasized her ample cleavage. The long silk skirt swished around her as she moved. Was my mother happy when she married Valentine? Or had he always been a psychotic tyrant? Would Jonathan be a good husband to her, if the unthinkable were to happen? If they failed. Could I persuade him to change? What the fuck, Fray? Stockholm Syndrome, much? I need to get away from this place. I'm starting to lose it.
Someone from The Team cleared their throat behind her and Clary jumped. It was the nice girl that zipped her up. "It's time, Miss Fairchild. I'm to take you to the antechamber of the ballroom so Mr. Morgenstern can give you away to Mr. Jonathan." Valentine is going to give me away. As if I am his to give away. Clary smiled kindly at the young woman. "Of course. I'm ready." Clary followed her down a side hallway and hidden staircase, which opened to a dim, ornate room, off of the grand ballroom. Valentine had his back to her, looking out a large window at the Idrian sunset. Clary swallowed and took a steadying breath, clutching the small bouquet of white roses The Team's florist handed her earlier. You can do this. Operation Do Not Trigger the Psycho starts now.
Valentine turned around and shook his head and smiled brightly. He ran his eyes over her hungrily, pausing on her emeralds, and resting too long on her cleavage. He looked handsome in a traditional black tuxedo, wearing a red and black sash across his chest, embroidered with the Morgenstern Family Crest in gold. He stepped up to her and took her hand in his, kissing the back, letting his lips linger as he looked up at her. Is he trying to look sexy? Never gonna happen. "Clarissa, other than my precious Jocelyn, I have never seen such a beautiful woman. Jonathan is such a lucky man. I have half a mind to steal you from him." He winked at her. As if you could… Jonathan would kill you. I may ask him to you psycho… Stockholm, Fray… Clary fake-laughed at his joke, then looked up at him, her voice shaking. "I'm ready to get this over with, Valentine. Please." He looked down at her and hummed offering her his arm. "Of course, Clarissa." He took a step towards the door when Clary stopped him. "Valentine, I have a personal question… When you and my mother married, was she happy?" Valentine seemed surprised by the question, then sighed and furrowed his brow. "Yes, Clarissa. She was and so was I. There isn't anything I wouldn't give to go back to that day… to be that man again… but I cannot. So, here I am now, after everything. Giving away her daughter… to my son. Ironic, no?" Clary nodded, her ears starting to roar as nervousness engulfed her.
He moved them forward and the doors opened to a brightly lit, opulently decorated ballroom. Round tables full of complete strangers, dressed in formal wear, filled the perimeter of the room. They all stood when she and Valentine entered. Valentine's business associates. More like complicit minions. Clary heard murmurs of approval and saw smiling faces. Fuck you all. A string quartet played random classical music. Valentine led Clary down a long black velvet carpet to the center of the ballroom, where Jonathan stood with some sort of a monk. Jonathan looked like every girl's groom. He wore a black tuxedo with the same sash as Valentine across his chest. His hair was brushed back stylishly and he had a look of absolute adoration, as he watched her approach. His eyes ran up and down her figure lustfully, as she finally stepped in front of him. Clary felt a deep terror bubble in her stomach. Calm down. If you pass out he'll probably marry you as you lay on the floor. Clary looked over and saw Amatis sitting near the front. Still alive? Check. She smiled encouragingly to Clary. Valentine handed her off to Jonathan and took the seat next to her aunt. Suddenly the music stopped. Clary looked up at Jonathan and smiled nervously. He stared back at her with such intensity and want that Clary felt her entire body blush and she shivered. Jonathan smirked at her knowingly and took her hands in his. The monk started to speak. Everything else that happened afterwards was a complete blur. The next thing she knew Jonathan was pressing his lips against hers and she was his wife. Two more days until the gala.
Clary nodded and politely laughed at the man's lame ass-kissy story, as she sipped her champagne. Valentine laughed heartily and slapped the man's back. "That was indeed a good day, Blackwell." Jonathan looked at her and rolled his eyes at the two men and Clary smiled into her glass. He was disdainful of Valentine's cronies as well. Jonathan, as predicted, hardly left her side during the reception, clutching her to him, stroking her bare back, when he wasn't handing her another glass of bubbly. He had jealously hovered when men asked her to dance, scaring most of them off. Clary excused herself and started to walk to the ladies lounge after getting a permissive nod from Jonathan, as expected. How does one pee in this enormous gown? As she neared the lounge she saw Amatis walk in ahead of her, catching her eye. Finally, we can speak privately.
Clary washed her hands, feeling personally triumphant for navigating the toilet without soiling her gown. In the mirror she saw Amatis checking the lounge for other women. Clary had already checked so she knew there were none. She whirled around and embraced her aunt. "Amatis, how are you? Have you been harmed? Has that asshole–" Amatis hushed her. "Clary, I'm fine, sweetie. How are you holding up? Has Jonathan been kind? Or–" Clary sighed and nodded. "I'm fine. You know what being with Jonathan has meant for me… what I've had to do. And now, married. I'm so trapped. We have to get away, at the gala… It will be our only chance."
Amatis pulled back, holding Clary at arms length, looking fiercely at her. "Clary, Luke would be so proud of you. You are stronger and braver than anyone I have ever known. What you have endured– on my behalf. I'll never forget it. Quickly, though. Did you get a chance to look at the book Tessa gave you? I know Jonathan whisked you off to Alicante… did you find what was hidden inside?" Clary smiled and nodded as two women entered the lounge, giggling drunkenly. Clary leaned in to whisper in Amatis' ear. "I did. I hid them both in the back of my wardrobe in my rainboots. Will is going to text me specific instructions soon. Just follow my lead and look for Tessa and company at the gala– are you ready?" Amatis laughed and nodded, pretending Clary told her a joke. The women smiled over at them. Clary gave Amatis one more knowing look and headed back to her reception. Time to get drunk. I've got a wedding night to survive.
Emil was waiting by the lounge exit when Clary emerged. He smiled warmly at her and offered his arm. "Mrs. Morgenstern, I thought I was going to have to come in and find you. You've been gone for quite a while. What could you have been doing in there for so long?" Clary raised her eyebrows at him, looked at his arm, then up at his face. "I suppose you don't have much experience with women, Emil. What happens in the bathroom, stays in the bathroom… it's kind of a thing." She brushed past him, refusing his arm, and scooped a glass of champagne from a waiter's tray. She turned around, smiled at Emil and saluted him with her glass. "As for your arm. I'm not interested in being touched. Did you learn nothing from Axel and what happens to men that touch me?" Emil pursed his lips at her and nodded, unamused. She downed her drink and took another and walked away.
Clary set her now empty glass on a table, when she felt an arm snake around her waist and a soft kiss land on her bare shoulder. Jonathan. "Clarissa, love. I have been looking for you everywhere. I was about to release the hounds, kitten." Clary laced her arms around his neck and kissed him. She had to make sure she looked like a happy newlywed. The raging buzz she had helped a lot. Jonathan smiled lovingly back down at her and pulled her closer. "Oh Jon. I was in the ladies room, freshening up. Don't worry so much. You know I can't go anywhere. One of your hounds was even waiting for me when I came out." She nodded towards Emil. Jonathan hummed and dropped his face to her shoulder again, running soft kisses up and down her neck. "You look so beautiful, Clarissa… my wife. I can't wait to take you up to our new room and christen our marital bed… over and over." New room? Shit. The phone and gun… in my wardrobe. "Our new room, Jon? I actually like my room. Couldn't you join me there? All of my things–" He pulled her out onto the dance floor, pulling her flush against him, stroking her lower back. "Nonsense, Clarissa. We'll have our own suite now, as a married couple. Of course, you may get your personal things tomorrow… if I decide to let you out of bed." Shit.
Jonathan twirled her around, her back against him, looking shamelessly down at her cleavage, over her shoulder. Clary felt her head swim from the champagne and giggled. He took a deep breath and kissed her neck. Clary felt her arousal stir deep in her abdomen. "Will you be requiring any Faerie Nectar tonight, love?" Clary furrowed her brows. He never asked if she wanted it before, she would usually ask him. Clary had actually stashed quite a bit, in case she needed it. Is this a test? She turned to him and smiled up at him seductively, biting her lip. "Actually Jonathan, I don't think I need it tonight. I'm so much more– comfortable. I'm ready to… surrender. I'm yours. We're married now… Do you want me to take it?" He looked down at her with a strange expression and shook his head. He looked vulnerable… Am I getting to him? Clary felt a twinge in her chest… Guilt? Stop it. She put her arms around his neck and her cheek on his chest as they swayed to the music. She caught Valentine's eye across the ballroom. He was surrounded by his minions, drinking, watching her and Jonathan dance, his eyes following her every move. He had a dark, lustful look in his eye that Clary definitely did not like directed at her. She shivered uncomfortably. He is such a creep. Would Jonathan protect her from his father, if it came to it? Clary turned her face away from Valentine and squeezed his neck tighter. The lesser of two evils…
Clary pleasantly chatted with a small group of women. The minions' wives. I wonder if they are prisoners like me? A few asked questions about her mother's artwork and the upcoming gala. One of the women said she attended Alicante University with her parents and Valentine. She spoke of how much in love Valentine and Jocelyn had been and how shocked everyone had been when they split… and that Jocelyn married Lucian Graymark. Clary ended that discussion quickly and excused herself before she blew. How shocked would those women be if she told them why they split up. Gossips. Clary felt a warm hand slide around her waist and smiled. Jonathan. She turned to him and stiffened. Not Jonathan. Valentine.
He ushered her away from the group of women towards the dance floor. He looked down at her with a leer, holding a glass of champagne. "Clarissa, darling. I haven't had the pleasure of toasting the bride." He handed her the glass and grabbed one from a nearby waiter. She took a deep breath and fake-smiled at him. "What shall we toast to, Valentine?" Kidnapping? Rape? Arson? Murder? "To your mother and father. I know they both would be so proud of you and the work you completed for Jocelyn's art exhibit. I truly wish they could be here." He clinked his glass against hers and downed it, watching her expectantly. Clary drank her champagne down. When her glass was empty, he smiled and took it, setting both of them down.
"Would you do me the honor of a dance, Clarissa?" He grabbed and pulled her tightly against him, as the music slowed to a romantic rhythm. Bourbon breath. I think he's drunk. Clary laughed nervously and looked up at him. "Of course, Valentine. Have you seen Jonathan?" Valentine narrowed his eyes. "I sent him to meet with a business associate downstairs. Why? Do you miss your beloved already? We both know who you really love, Clarissa. Your detective…" He is shitfaced. "Valentine. I think I should find Jonathan… you've been drinking." He grunted and shook his head. Clary subtly tried to slip out of his arms. Her heart started to pound and she felt hot. He gripped her tighter and led her around the dance floor, rubbing her lower back, eventually dancing her to a dark alcove near a balcony. Clary suddenly found it harder to focus and her head swam. Don't fucking pass out.
He pushed her further into the darkness until she hit a wall with her back. Clary wrested her hand from him and tried to push him away. He chuckled and pressed against her and grabbed her wrists in one hand, pressing them against her chest. "You look so much like her… Jocelyn." He hummed a tune and lowered his head and smelled her neck. "You smell like her… I need you– Jocelyn. Please come back to me…" He snaked a hand over her chest, fingering her necklace then painfully squeezing her breast. Clary cried out, as disgust and terror bubbled up inside of her. She started to struggle, but felt her strength waning. "Valentine. Let go of me. You're drunk. I am not Jocelyn. I'm Clary– Clarissa. Stop… did you drug me? You fucking pig–" Jonathan will kill him. Good. Her vision became unfocused and she shivered, then felt an intense hot flash. He laughed and nodded his head, dragging her to a door at the side of the alcove. "I did, little one. Now. Let's go talk in my den, darling." Clary's heart began pounding, her legs buckled and he tripped along with her, releasing her wrists to catch himself in the doorway. She stumbled past him to run back to the ballroom and crashed into a solid chest. Strong arms wrapped around her and she slapped her hands clumsily against the chest, whimpering. "Help me." Don't faint. I can't breathe. Her legs gave out and she was lifted into someone's arms. "Clarissa! Father? What the absolute fuck is going on here?" Clary looked up at him blinking and panting. My heart, the air is too thick. "Val– drugged me– can't breathe… help." Amatis appeared beside Jonathan and took Clary's face in her hands. "Get her to the medical clinic, Jonathan. I think she's overdosing. She's been drugged." Jonathan began to run through the door and down a stairwell as Clary began gasping for air then everything went dark.