Chapter 58: More angst for poor Clary and a little Clace LEMON… among other things. She seems to be in quite a pickle… not unlike Jocelyn's situation, many years before… hmm. Remember the rating is MA.
TRIGGER WARNINGS: descriptive sex, and mentions of non-con
I do not own any of the characters, only the illustrious Cassandra Clare owns them. I do, however, own this particular story, so please don't be lame and copy/paste it elsewhere.
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Previously: "...patient was rushed to the medical unit on Morgenstern Manor and diagnosed with a broken right radius, acute high right ankle sprain, a mild subdural hematoma, and concussion… Additionally, per the request of the patient's husband, Jonathan Morgenstern, the patient's IUD was removed. The patient should be fine to try to conceive after two weeks of recovery…" Clary covered her mouth, stifling her scream…"
Clary and Izzy stood over the bathroom counter holding hands, the timer dinging on her phone. Clary felt lightheaded and nauseous, then screamed, as Izzy grabbed her before she fell to the floor. "Oh my god, Izzy. No, no, no… this can't be happening oh my god…" The test was positive. Izzy's voice began to shake, as she tore open another test. "Fuck that shit! Take another one, babe." After three more tests, all positive, Clary couldn't possibly pee anymore. After vomiting in the wastebasket, she collapsed in a heap on the bathroom floor, sobbing hysterically and gasping for air. She was having another panic attack. Somewhere she heard Izzy yelling for Simon, then felt herself lifted from the floor and laid down on the bed in her old room. I can't think. Pregnant with his baby… fucking monster. Rapist. Simon crawled into the bed sitting up and pulled Clary on his lap like a child, rocking and soothing her. "ClareBear… I'm here. Breathe with me. We'll get through this, okay? We love you. Breathe…" Clary didn't know how long she cried, while Simon held her, whispering comforting words and vows to protect her in her ears… Izzy rubbed her back, making her sip water, as she finally fell into an exhausted sleep. Simon and Izzy covered her up and left the room, holding hands. Izzy sighed and wiped away her tears. "I need to call Jace, babe. He needs to know." Simon frowned, but nodded.
Clary opened her eyes and sat up in her old bed when she heard the front door slam open and shut and the sound of feet running across the apartment. Outside of the bedroom door, she heard raised male voices and arguing. Simon? Then the voices got lower, then nothing. I can't see anyone right now. I need a shower. She reached over and drank the bottle of water Izzy had left for her and got up to go to the bathroom. She turned the light on and saw that Izzy had left her some clothes to change into. After closing and locking the door, she turned the shower on. Clary turned to the mirror, stripped her clothes off, and unbraided her hair. She turned to the side and ran her hands up her flat stomach, then over her breasts, frowning. My boobs are tender, but I don't feel or look different. She swallowed the lump forming in her throat and stepped into the shower. She cried under the streaming water as she washed the days grime away. What am I going to do?
Clary pulled the NYU sweatshirt over her head and twisted her damp hair up into a messy bun, then brushed her teeth. Izzy left her a new toothbrush, underwear, leggings, fuzzy socks, and a cozy sweatshirt. She loves me. Clary pulled on the panties and picked up the leggings and socks. She unlocked the door and walked out to find Jace laying on her old bed, watching her walk in, with his hands beneath his head. He looked so perfect, so beautiful. His eyes lingered on her bare legs, then up to her eyes. Clary dropped her leggings and socks on the floor. Her face crumpled and tears filled her eyes, as she covered her mouth with her hands, shaking her head. Izzy must have called him. Did she tell him? He sat up quickly, and shook his head, and launched off of the bed towards her. She told him. He scooped her up into his arms and carried her to the bed. He laid them down, pulling her close and kissing her tenderly, wrapping her tightly in his arms. "Clary, baby don't cry. I- I'm so sorry about this– I love you, baby… It's going to be okay. I promise." His voice broke and his eyes filled with tears. Oh fuck. How am I going to do this? He deserves better…
Clary gently disentangled herself from him and got up on her knees beside him, as he did the same, facing her. He stared nervously at her, afraid of what she would say. I can't expect him to– She reached her trembling hands forward and placed them on his cheeks, shaking her head. "I love you so much, Jace. But, this is big… bigger than us, baby– I understand if it's too much for you if you don't want to– you didn't sign up for this shit… If you want out. You don't deserve–" Clary gasped as he closed the space between them and pulled her onto his lap, her thighs straddling him. He frowned at her fiercely and shook his head, cupping her face in his hands. He pressed his lips against her mouth and rested his forehead against hers, staring into her eyes with his golden gaze. Clary swallowed, her lip trembling. "Oh no you don't Clary. Don't do that. You don't get to dump me and go through this by yourself. This isn't too big for us… There is no "out" with us. What I deserve is you. It will always be you. Do you understand that? Whatever you decide, I'm with you. Together. You got that?" Jace pressed his lips against hers and Clary whimpered into his mouth, nodded, eagerly returning his kisses. "Okay, okay. I'm sorry, Jace… I got it, baby. Love you…" Together.
Jace groaned and ran his hands up her silken thighs and around her hips, then palmed her ass. A tight coil of need unfurled deep in her lower abdomen. I need this so badly. Clary whimpered and wrapped her arms around his neck, deepening their kisses. Jace… His hands slid up under her sweatshirt, gently caressing her breasts. She hadn't put on a bra, as her nipples were so sensitive and his caress made her squeeze her thighs around him tightly in arousal. They hadn't touched so intimately since their time at the safehouse in Idris. After escaping, almost two months ago, Clary had felt fragile, traumatized. Intimacy had scared her… reminded her of Jonathan. Then Camille had discouraged it. Well fuck that. I need him now more than ever. She ground herself against his burgeoning erection and he hummed low into her mouth.
He broke their kiss and looked at her, with his eyebrows raised in silent question. Oh yes. Clary pulled her sweatshirt over her head and blushed, nodding in consent. Jace watched her lustfully, as she raised her hands up and released her hair from the bun, letting her curls cascade down around her bare shoulders and breasts. She felt him harden beneath her, as Jace quickly jerked his black t-shirt over his head and they fell together on the bed. His eyes darkened as he kneeled between her thighs and stared down at her breasts, up to her lips, then back to her eyes. He lowered himself over her, holding himself up on his hands, so as not to crush her. His chest hair brushed against her breasts and Clary gasped lightly and arched her back. He leaned down and covered her mouth with his, murmuring against her. "Clary, it's been so long, sweetheart. Are you sure? We can stop—." Clary smiled against his mouth, then sucked his bottom lip into hers. "Don't you dare stop, baby. I need you so badly. No more waiting, my love. I need you now."
Jace smirked and nodded. He reached down and unbuckled his belt, shoving his pants and boxers down, kicking them off. Clary sat up on her elbows and looked down at his impressive arousal and bit her lip. Jace hummed seductively and lowered himself on top of her, kissing up and down her neck, as he peeled her underwear off. Oh yes. It's been so long. Jace gently nudged her thighs apart with his knees and pressed his hardness against her wet, heated center. Clary felt herself quiver deep within her most private place. Jace laced his hands with hers and pulled them over her head, trailing wet kisses down her chest, nipping and sucking her nipples. Clary gasped and rolled her hips wantonly against his rigid erection. "Please Jace. I need you inside of me…now, baby."
Jace lifted his face from her chest and locked eyes with her and hummed. He raised up on his knees and spread her thighs wide with his hands, stroking them with his thumbs. Clary smiled seductively and lifted her hands to the headboard, gripping the spindles of the headboard, like she had so many times with him. Jace's eyes widened and he licked his lips as he raked his eyes up and down her naked form. Staring intently at her weeping center, he exhaled through pursed lips. Grabbing his engorged cock, he squeezed it with his fist and positioned himself at her entrance. "God, Clary. I'm not going to last long. But, I will make that up to you in round two, three, four… together, baby. You and me. Always." Oh yes… Clary cried out and arched her back as he suddenly covered her with his body and sunk into her, hilt-deep. Jace groaned, pushed Clary's thighs further apart and licked and kissed her chest as he slowly pumped into her quivering depths. So big… I forgot how good he feels inside of me. Clary wrapped her legs around his waist and began to meet his languid thrusts, rolling her hips against him, whimpering in need. "Please Jace… faster. You won't hurt me, baby… please." Jace gently bit her ear, thrusting harder into her and murmuring. "You got it, Red."
He slid his hands under her ass and began to pump into her faster and harder, nuzzling his face into her neck. Clary gripped the spindles tighter, then released them, slapping her hands down onto Jace's ass, pulling him deeper inside. Eagerly meeting his thrusts, she panted in short high-pitched gasps, feeling her abdomen coil deliciously as she chased release. "I'm so close, baby. Oh my god, Jace… so big. Feels so– oh!" Clary reached for Jace's face and brought it up to hers, kissing him passionately as she felt her orgasm coiling deep within her. Jace cupped and squeezed her breasts and returned her kisses. He groaned almost painfully as Clary screamed her release, her core gripping and fluttering deliciously around him. Panting, she continued to roll her hips into his, relishing the post orgasmic splendor, as her muscles continued to pulsate around his rigid cock.
Jace moaned and buried his face against her neck, his thrusts becoming choppy and arrhythmic. He's close. She rolled her hips harder, clenching herself around him. Jace roared out her name, plunging into her mercilessly, as he spilled himself deep within her, until finally spent. He slowly and gently pumped in and out of her, allowing her quivering depths to milk him. Peppering her face and neck with kisses, he lovingly murmured promises and vows against her soft throat. Clary tearfully returned his kisses and vows, running her hands through his golden curls. Falling back next to her on the bed, Jace gathered Clary into his arms and pulled the covers over their exhausted bodies. They cuddled, kissed, made love again, and discussed the future until finally falling asleep.
Three Days Later
Clary sat stoically in the waiting room of her gynecologist's office. Jace sat next to her, holding her hands, running his thumb over the tops of Clary's knuckles in comfort. She could feel his eyes on her, but she didn't look at him. She simply stared at the wall across the room. I'm pregnant. I'm pregnant with that monster's child. He always wins. He's going to find out and take me away again… and my baby. Stop it. She received a text from Maia early that morning, letting her know that her annulment had gone through and she was officially, legally unmarried. She had been glad to hear the news, but it had triggered her anxiety and paranoia about Jonathan coming for her again. He thinks I belong to him. She turned to Jace and smiled nervously, leaning against him. He kissed her temple and wrapped an arm around her. Stop it. He can't get you now. Liar… "I'll always find you, Clarissa..."
Clary closed her eyes and shook her head, thinking back to last week, when she took the first, of many, pregnancy tests… before the blood test she got at Planned Parenthood, the following day, had verified that she was definitely pregnant. Izzy had graciously taken her to the clinic for the blood test to verify the pregnancy and help her make some hard decisions. Clary had made an appointment to terminate the pregnancy, but wanted the blood test first, for some reason. She needed it to really believe that it was absolutely true. Empirical evidence.
Izzy flipped through an outdated fashion magazine and pretended to be upbeat. Clary smiled indulgently at her best friend as she chatted away, pointing out how ugly so many of the runway models were. Izzy shot out of her chair, grasping Clary's hand when the nurse called Clary up to go over her blood work. They followed the nurse into a room, where she handed Clary the results. Clary sighed in resignation and nodded as the woman pointed to numbers on the page and explained she was definitely pregnant. She then asked Clary if she had made a decision about her appointment. Clary had looked at Izzy and asked for a few minutes to think. The nurse left them alone and Clary had sunk down miserably into a chair. Izzy sat down next to her and placed her hand on Clary's shoulder. "I don't know why I bothered with this. I took four fucking tests, of course I'm really pregnant, Iz. Fuck." Her best friend sighed and nodded. "I know babe, but your fucking stubborn little ass had to do it like this. It's okay, C. You can end all of it today, with the appointment. Gone. Done… I mean, if that's what you want. I'm with you no matter what, okay?"
Clary lowered her head and nodded, looking at her phone to check the time. She stared down at her lockscreen and started to laugh humorlessly. A picture of her mother's painting "Her Eyes" stared back at her. It was at that moment that Clary knew exactly what she would do. She raised her head and reached out and hugged Izzy close, then pulled back. "I'm canceling the appointment, Iz. I'm having this baby. My baby. Not his baby. Mine." Izzy stood up shocked, then smiled down at Clary, with tears in her eyes. "Fucking A, Clary. Whatever you want, girl. I'm going to be the best fucking auntie to that little one, honey." Clary nodded. "I know it, Iz. I love you so fucking much. You're my favorite bitch." Izzy threw her head back and cackled. "You're my favorite bitch too, C. I love you." The girls hugged and walked out to cancel the appointment.
As they left, Clary smiled, really smiled for the first time, in a long time. There was no way in hell she would terminate this pregnancy. Her mother had gone through a very similar trauma years ago, when Clary was conceived. Jocelyn could have easily ended her pregnancy, which could have feasibly been a product of rape. But she chose not to, she never even knew whether Luke or Valentine was Clary's father. It didn't matter to her or Dad because they loved me no matter what. I will not end this pregnancy. This child would be the only good thing to come from that hell… from the Morgensterns. My baby will be a Garroway... Graymark. No, a Fairchild. She would love her or him, no matter what. I love you, Mom and Dad. I get it.
Clary leaned back in the examination chair as Dr. Aline Penhallow-Blackthorn, her dear friend and OB/Gyn squeezed warm gel above her pubic bone. Jace leaned close to Clary, holding her hand, nervously watching every move Aline made. "We really missed you, Clary, and are so glad to have you back. I'm so sorry for what you went through… of course, everything discussed here is private. No worries there." Clary nodded and smiled at Aline. "So, as we discussed on the phone, I decided to keep the baby. I'll need to be registered as a private patient. I don't want– him to find out anything about this. I've annulled our marr– you know." Aline pulled the ultrasound wand over Clary's lower abdomen and nodded. "Of course. We'll do whatever you want… I just wonder how we will address the birth-father in the paperwork. We can leave it blank for n–" Jace put his hand up and looked at Clary, while he spoke to Aline. "List my name as the father, Aline. This innocent baby is never going to be his child. He lost that privilege when he forced her–. I'm sorry, Clary." He stopped, a pained expression on his face. Oh my–.
He leaned forward and kissed Clary's lips and looked into her eyes. "Me. I'm the baby's father now. Please, Clary." Clary's eyes went wide and filled with tears and she slowly nodded. He's so much like my dad. "Okay, Jace… you can be the father. I love you so much. Y-you're such a good man." Dad would be so proud of him. Aline handed Clary a towel and stepped back to give them privacy. Jace took Clary's hands and looked down. "Clary, I'm not so sure about being such a good man. I'm just very selfish. I want to love all of you, forever. This baby is part of you, so I love it too. There never was a question." Clary thought she heard Aline sniffle behind Jace, but Clary stared in awe at him. Oh my god. He stood up straight and fished a small black box from his pocket, dropping to one knee next to the examination chair. He opened the box to reveal a dazzling diamond ring. Clary gasped and quickly sat up in the chair, wiping the gel off, and pulling her shirt down. He's proposing? In my doctor's office? God I love him.
Jace took her hand. "Clary Fray, will you please do me the great honor of marrying me?" Clary's eyes filled with tears and she nodded as he slipped the glorious, perfect diamond on her ring finger. "Oh yes, Jace Herondale. I will marry you. Yes." Jace jumped up and scooped her from the chair, kissing her deeply, spinning them around. They kissed and murmured sweet things to each other for a few minutes until they both jumped, pulled from their reverie. Aline had cleared her throat and stood awkwardly by the door, with the ultrasound wand in her hand. "Okay guys. That was really romantic… I can't even wait to tell Helen. Now, how would you like to see your baby?" Clary blushed as Jace picked her up and gently dropped her back into the exam chair. They both grinned and nodded at Aline. Clary lifted her shirt back up, exposing her abdomen and lowered the top of her yoga pants. Aline smiled and applied more gel, swiping the ultrasound wand through it. Clary and Jace eagerly watched the monitor as a stoic Aline ran a second sensor over Clary's lower abdomen. Clary gasped when she heard a rapid swishing sound. "That's your baby's heartbeat, Clary. Strong and healthy." She then smiled broadly and pointed to a small round blob on the screen. Clary smiled and Jace's eyes widened in wonder. "That's your baby right there. I'm measuring him or her at about eight weeks, sweetie. Everything looks perfectly fine." Aline printed out copies of the ultrasound for Clary to keep and went on to explain next steps for her pregnancy care. Clary and Aline continued to discuss things, as Jace sat back in his chair, gazing at the tiny bean on the ultrasound. You could have easily been biologically mine, but fate had other ideas, little one. But you are mine, in every other way. I will love and protect you and your mother with my life. I promise.