Chapter 63: Clary, Jace, some squad, and Clary vs. Jonathan… Clary gets some special news.
TRIGGER WARNINGS: mansplaining, mention of abuse, rape.
I do not own any of the characters, only the illustrious Cassandra Clare owns them. I do, however, own this particular story, so please don't be lame and copy/paste it elsewhere.
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Previously: "...Sebastian comes from a dark, awful place inside of me… ever since I was a child. He first started to come out when Father would whip me…to protect me I guess. Then I would let him out when I wanted to– get away with things… I hate him. I hate him so much and wish he wasn't a part of me, Clarissa."
The Next Day.
Jace walked angrily up to the large, blonde bearded viking sitting on a bench outside of Taki's. He was livid, having just found out that Clary had gotten into Morgenstern's green douche-mobile yesterday, riding with him to Camille's. Why didn't she tell me last night at home? Because she knew I would flip out. Aaron looked up and his mouth tightened. He pulled off his sunglasses, watching Jace approach. "Goddammit, Aaron. You let her go to that appointment with that psycho unaccompanied? I just got off the phone with Izzy who told me Jonathan fucking Morgenstern drove Clary to her appointment yesterday! What part of 'he doesn't get to be alone with her' did you not understand? He could have taken off with her– or worse." Aaron raked his hand through his hair and groaned. "Shit, Jace. She texted me and told me she had a ride… I didn't know it was with him, I swear. She didn't mention that. I– I should have double checked. It won't happen again. Uh, do you want me to go beat his ass?" Aaron cracked his knuckles.
Jace shook his head and waved his hand dismissively. "N-no… Look Aaron, Clary cannot be trusted when it comes to Morgenstern. He has this way of– I don't know, manipulating her, gaslighting her to react the way he wants. He's a fucking genius with that shit. He did something to her head in Idris. We have to be hyper-vigilant when it comes to her. Don't let her tell you or choose when you protect her. You listen to me… She's not rational right now when it comes to Morgenstern… she's panicky, hormonal and fixated on beating him at his own game and I don't think she–" Aaron's eyebrows rose and he cleared his throat, looking behind Jace. Oh shit. It's her. As usual, she's early. Jace turned around slowly to find Alec, Magnus Bane, and the love of his life standing behind him. And she looked pissed.
Jace sighed and took in the sight before him. Clary stood between Alec and Magnus with her hands on her hips. She wore a red halter dress that flowed past her knees. It reminded Jace of one of those 1940's pin up girls. Her lips were red, and her hair was pulled up high on her head in a thick, curly bun. Jace ran his eyes up and down her body. Her shoulders were sunkissed from her walk and her adorable baby bump was noticeable beneath the flowy fabric of her dress… and her chest… her cleavage. Damn. Her boobs are– he jumped, his eyes darting back to her eyes as he heard her yell. "Jace! What the hell–" Magnus fake coughed, interrupting Clary, putting a calming arm around her. "Biscuit… Alec and I are going to get us a table. I'll order you a vanilla milkshake and coconut pancakes. You and He-Man yell a bit, play kissy-face, then join us." Magnus flashed Jace an "I will cut you" look, Alec gave him the bro nod, and waved for Aaron to join them. Jace looked back at Clary and swallowed.
He reached out to hug her. "Clary, baby…" She stepped back, putting a hand on his chest. "Um– 'Don't LET her? HORMONAL? She's not RATIONAL? What the actual fuck, Jace?" She glared up at him and crossed her arms. "No one 'lets' me do anything. I'm assuming Izzy or Simon told you I let Jonathan drive me to our appointment and you're mad at me?" Jace frowned and put his hands on her shoulders, squeezing gently. "Mad at you, Clary? No… scared and worried about what could have fucking happened? YES! You should have told me. You STILL haven't told me what happened yesterday. God, you can't keep falling for his sick games… and you know I don't like you spending time with him at all. This therapy idea was stu– He's not going to have some epiphany and change, Clary! You can't fix him! He's just going to manipulate and try to take you and twist you into his–" Oh shit.
Clary's bottom lip began to tremble and tears filled her eyes. "You're right, Jace. I'm sorry. Stop yelling at me! I won't ditch Aaron again… I just want– to be free and I never will be with Jonathan here in New York. I need him gone, Jace. I'm trying to make that happen… There's just so much pressure. Maia said I need to make it seem like I'm cooperative and welcoming to him regarding the baby… include him in case he tries to sue for custody… so it seems I'm not being malicious… all while she's secretly compiling the case to present to the Clave in Idris. He can't be fucking prosecuted here, Jace. My country has failed me… the NYPD too." Jace flinched. She's right. Our hands are tied. Her shoulders shook as she cried. "He's untouchable and I'm so exposed! It's not fair! It can't look like I'm trying to ice him out… and he's so excited about the baby, which makes me feel guilty. He raped me and I feel guilty. How fucked up is that? I'm sorry. I'm just so afraid he's going to win… again."
Jace sighed and pulled her against him, wrapping his arms around her. "I know, sweetheart. I'm sorry I yelled, baby… you've been through so much. Please don't cry, Clary. I just love you so much and I can't lose you again. I can't. Just– stop keeping things from me. I can't help you if I don't know what's going on. I'm here for you. Always." I want him dead. None of this will end without him being erased from this earth. He leaned down and kissed her and she wrapped her arms around his waist, kissing him back. "I want my pancakes now, Jace…we have to get to my prenatal appointment." She pulled away from him and wiped her tears away. He smiled down at her and hummed. "Okay, baby. Let's have brunch. We'll talk everything out later at home."
Clary wiped her mouth with her napkin and leaned back in the large circular booth, snuggling against Jace. She had eaten her favorites. Banana and coconut pancakes. God I love Taki's. He looked down at her and kissed her temple, chuckling. She looked across the table, noticing Magnus, Alec, and Aaron staring at her. What? She picked up her vanilla shake and sipped. "What are you guys staring at? Do I have something on my face?" Magnus shook his head, waving his hands in front of him. "N-no, Biscuit. But, I have never seen anyone, especially a little snack like yourself, eat two full platters of pancakes. But, you do you!" After kissing Alec twice on the mouth, a smiling Magnus scooted out of the booth and leaned down, kissing Clary's cheek. "I have to run, babies. My interior designer is coming in a few and I need to hurry." He swung his bag over his shoulder and looked at Clary and Jace, smiling. "I knew you two belong together. Let's talk about wedding stuff later this week, Clace. Izzy and I have some ideas. Bye!" He turned and walked out.
Aaron looked down at his own half-eaten plate of banana pancakes. "I have to admit, Clary, that was rather impressive. Jace, you are a lucky man. I would love to find a woman with such a hearty appetite…" He winked at Clary and laughed. Jace tightened a possessive arm around Clary and hummed at Aaron. "As long as you're looking in any direction, but my fiance's…" Clary smirked at the boys and rolled her eyes. She loved it when Jace acted jealous. Such a turn on. "Well, I'm just hungry all the time now. Ooh! Do you know what sounds good? Kimchi! I haven't had good Korean in so long." Alec grimaced and fake gagged. "Gross, Clary, how can you think of eating some spicy cabbage concoction after all of those carbs and sugar? But, if you really need some Korean soon, give me and Magnus a call this weekend. We can all go out. In fact–" Jace and Alec both sat up straight and grabbed their phones at the same time. Shit. They're getting called in.
Alec got off the phone and nodded stoically at Jace. "We've got a case, partner." Jace sighed heavily. "Crap. Babe, I have to go. We're being called to a scene, so I– I'm so sorry." Clary quickly kissed Jace on the mouth. "You have to go… I know. I can go to my appointment alone, no worries. Aaron can drive me, okay? Remember, I'm the daughter of a detective. I know the deal. I'll see you tonight, baby. Be careful, both of you." Jace cupped her face in his hands and gave her a long kiss. Clary's thighs clenched together. I am such a hornball today. "I love you, Clary. See you tonight." Clary blushed and kissed him back, smiled knowingly at him, and watched him leave. Yeah you will…
Clary looked up at the impressive building. She had continued having her appointments with Aline at the private maternity center, owned by Morgenstern Industries. She had received excellent care there during her stay last month and it seemed to keep Jonathan at bay, knowing she was getting "the best care possible". Aaron parked the town car and walked around, opening Clary's door for her. Clary sighed and stepped out. She had called Izzy to see if she could come with her to be her plus-one at the appointment, but she was out of town with Simon. She was a bit nervous about the ultrasound, ever since her early complications. "Clary, I'll be right out here in the car. Please text me when you're done." She smiled tightly at Aaron. "Okay, Aaron. Again… I'm sorry about yesterday. It will be about an hour or so…" He smiled and nodded at her, watching her walk through the doors of the lobby.
Jonathan walked into the waiting area of the prenatal care offices. Smiling, he spied Clarissa drawing in her sketchbook, sitting on a comfortable loveseat. Damn. She looked stunning in a red halter dress, with her crimson curls piled high on her head. She placed the end of her pencil between her full red lips and hummed. She had her tiny bare feet propped on an ottoman, her sandals discarded on the floor. Jonathan swallowed, feeling himself harden as desire coiled deep in his abdomen. I miss touching her. I need her. He thought back to yesterday, in the elevator when he had used Verus Amor on her. She had simply surrendered to him. Her skin had been so soft, her kisses so sweet. Her breasts had felt so good in his hands… his mouth. I need to have her soon. She was the only patient waiting, as he'd planned, having all appointments but hers, moved to another floor. He wasn't surprised to see that Herondale wasn't with her. He knew from his spies that Herondale and Lightwood had been called to process a crime scene. Obviously, his job is more important than Clary. Peasant.
He walked up to Clary and cleared his throat politely. She jumped a little and looked up at him, surprised, then annoyed. "Jonathan. What are you doing here?" She closed her sketchbook and slid it into her bag. He quickly sat down next to her and sighed when he saw her stiffen. "Good afternoon, Clarissa. I knew you had your appointment today and hoped to hear how it went. Is it over? How did it go?" Clary cleared her throat and looked at him, not smiling. "I haven't been called back yet. I got here pretty early… so I could be alone and sketch a bit." Jonathan frowned and looked around. "Are you alone, Clarissa? Where is your detective or one of your friends?" She sighed heavily and looked over at him. "I'm afraid Jace is on a case and– well, no one was available on such short notice." Aww. Too bad. Jonathan cleared his throat and folded his hands in his lap, as he ran his eyes over her face. Don't touch her. "Well, I'm here, Clarissa. May I please come in with you? I'll stay out of your way and… I just– I'd love to see our baby, Clarissa. I just need to know you both are okay. Then, I'll leave. I promise…" Please say yes.
Clary curiously looked into Jonathan's black eyes and saw nothing that made her nervous or afraid, which was unusual. She saw a man that truly wanted to be there for his child. She saw the man that she had befriended so many months before. Just Jonathan. No pretense, no ulterior motives. No trace of the monster… of Sebastian. Of course he also is a cunning liar, so be on guard, especially after yesterday. Clary had listened to her phone recording from the day before, after returning home from the appointment with Camille and Jonathan. She had started recording as soon as she entered his car and was able to hear what had happened in the parking garage. He had held on to her too long after she had stumbled, hugging her to him and she had rebuffed him. Then she heard him tell her he had more to say, then "Verus, Amor, Clarissa"..."Verus Amor, Jonathan"... "Clarissa, let me have you". She heard herself whimpering and kisses, his moans… Clary shuddered, thankful that her pain attack had interrupted whatever might have happened after the kissing. She couldn't remember any of it, which terrified her. Camille swore to her that she removed the trigger words and Clary hoped she could trust her. I just have to hold out and fake it until Tessa and Maia come through with news about the case against him with the Clave of Idris. She hadn't told Jace anything about what happened. She knew he would go berserk and go after Jonathan.
Clary was still legally married to Jonathan in Idris, as women aren't allowed to annul their marriages or divorce without mutual agreement from the husbands. Jace told her to leave it and just never go to Idris again. But that hadn't sat well with Clary. Why should I never be able to go to my ancestral lands without fear? Years ago, Valentine had granted Jocelyn her divorce and signed the papers, letting her go. Jonathan had refused. She wanted to change that. He and Valentine had broken international laws. Kidnapping, torture, abuse, and rape are all illegal. Most of his crimes were committed against her prior to their sham of a marriage, when she was single. Maia was certain that based on that, in addition to his crimes against her in New York, they could have him removed as ambassador and be granted an annulment in Idris. While it wasn't a criminal case, she could feasibly be completely free of him soon. This could possibly set a grand precedent for women's rights in her ancestral country.
Until then, Maia had advised her to be more pleasant to him and include him as much as she was comfortable with. It would make Clary look good if Jonathan ever sued her for custody, as well as in court in Idris. She would play fake-nice. For now. Clary pursed her lips and nodded. "Okay, Jon. You can come in– I kind of don't want to be alone for this. I'm– I'm a little nervous, given the issues I had a month ago. Just… behave." Jonathan's eyes lit up and he smiled. "Fantastic. Thank you for allowing this, Clarissa." She smiled and took a deep breath, and put her feet on the floor. Before she could bend down to get her sandals, Jonathan had scooped them up and quickly placed them on her feet. She opened her mouth to protest, but he spoke first. "It's the least I can do, love." She sat still as he gently buckled the ankle straps. She blushed as his hands softly caressed her ankles as he pulled away. Her head jerked to the double doors at the back of the office when she saw a woman in blue scrubs walk in. "Clarissa Fairchild?" Jonathan shot up from his seat and he excitedly held his hand out to Clary. She hummed and stood up, ignoring his hand and smiled at the woman. "Yes, that's me." Clary followed the woman back to the examination room, with Jonathan walking behind her. She could feel his eyes on her and knew he was walking too close to her, but she ignored it. I hope I don't regret this.
Jonathan sat down a few feet away from the examination table, watching as the medical assistant positioned Clary. Of course, Clary chatted politely as the woman bolstered a few soft pillows beneath her shoulders and covered her lap with a sheet. Clary flicked her eyes at him anxiously. How do I make her comfortable? She seems so tense. "Are you okay, Clarissa? Do you want me to sit with you?" Clary frowned and looked down. "Um, sure, Jon." Jonathan quickly scooted his chair next to the exam table, trying not to show his excitement. This is where I belong. With my wife and child. Clary took a deep breath and blew it out slowly. Jonathan opened a bottle of water and handed it to her. "Please, have some water, love. It will help…" She looked at him with a curious expression and took the water, nodding. Sipping the water, she sighed. They both looked up when the door opened.
Clary smiled warmly when Aline walked in. "Clary, honey. It's so good to see–" Her eyebrows raised and she narrowed her eyes when she saw Jonathan sitting next to Clary. Jonathan looked back at her with a tight smile and Aline cleared her throat. She doesn't like me much. "It's good to see you. I see you have Jonathan with you today. I– Is this okay with you, Clary?" Clary looked between Jonathan and Aline and gave a short nod. "Yes, Aline. I– I invited him. He's the baby's father, so…" Aline nodded and put her hands up. "Okay, no worries. I had to ask… let's get started, okay?" Aline washed her hands and sat on the other side of Clary.
Jonathan watched with great interest when Aline slid Clary's dress up under her breasts, baring her swollen belly, carefully keeping her pelvic area covered with the sheet. He ran his eyes up and down her bare torso, marveling at the tiny sprinkles of freckles. It's been so long since I've seen her body. She's even more beautiful now that she's carrying my child. Jonathan clenched his hands into fists in his lap, fighting the urge to run his hands over her naked stomach. Clary and Aline discussed how she had been feeling and the round ligament pains. She advised Clary to continue her prenatal yoga stretches and stay hydrated. She squirted gel across Clary's lower abdomen and ran the ultrasound wand through it. "Okay, Clary… and Jonathan. Showtime." Jonathan reached over and took Clary's hand. She stiffened at first, then gradually relaxed.
Clary and Jonathan stared at the screen as Aline pointed out their baby. Jonathan's mouth fell open as he watched his child, barely hearing Aline calling out measurements of this and that and Clary responding positively. He squeezed Clary's hand gently and bit his bottom lip, his eyes misting. He stared at the curve of the tiny head, the delicate profile. My child… half of me and Clarissa. "Jon– Jon?" He quickly turned to Clary. "I'm sorry, Clarissa. What did you say?" She looked at him with a strange expression for a second, then smiled kindly. "I said, Aline is ready to tell us the sex of the baby." Jonathan's eyes widened and he swallowed nervously, looking at the screen. Aline sighed and looked at the screen, running the wand through the gel again. "Everything looks wonderful. No signs of subchorionic hematomas… no organ anomalies. Your baby is measuring about 19 weeks, which puts her due date around the last week of December. You're nearly halfway there, Clary." Her. Her? Her!
Clary gasped and clapped her hands, giggling like a child. "A little girl? I'm having a girl!" Her eyes filled with tears and she put her hands over her mouth. Jonathan grinned, looked at the monitor, and laughed. He looked over at the mother of his child, his heart pounding, and a lump forming in his throat. I love her so much. "We're having a daughter, Clarissa. Oh… you've made me so happy. You've given me a family…" Clary turned to him, her happy tears and smile fading. Aline wiped her stomach clean and excused herself. "I'll have your printouts ready in a few minutes. I'll be back." Clary pulled her dress back down, covering herself again. Jonathan stood up as she sat up, her legs hanging over the side of the table. Shit. I shouldn't have said that. "Jonathan… We have to set some boundaries. We're not going to be a family. You know that right? Not after everything that's happened between us. I'm marrying Jace and we'll be rais-" The hell he will…
Jonathan hummed deeply, shook his head at her, and closed the distance between them. Jace fucking Herondale will not be raising my child… with my wife. He felt a primal drive to claim her and his child. Clary gasped and leaned back as he slapped his hands on either side of her on the table. Trembling, she put her hands on his chest and pushed, but he was immovable. He lowered his head and softly kissed her bare shoulder, inhaling her perfume. She smells intoxicating. He looked down at her chest, fighting the urge to tear the top from her dress and claim her. Clary crossed an arm across her chest and put her other hand over his face, shoving hard. "Stop it Jonathan! You promised to behave. I need you to calm down… get away from me." Shit. Stop it. You'll ruin everything. Jonathan felt the threat of Sebastian lurking inside of him and suddenly stepped back from her. "I- I'm sorry, Clarissa. I'm just emotional… I forgot myself. Forgive me…We can discuss uh– boundaries at our next session with Camille." He walked to the other side of the examination room and watched her as she stood up, smoothed her clothing, and gathered her belongings. She looked at her phone and her eyes widened, before sliding it into her bag.
Clary cleared her throat and looked at Jonathan, slinging her bag over her shoulder. "I don't want to see you again until our next session with Camille, Jonathan. Do you understand?" Jonathan looked at her across the room, a hurt expression flashed across his face, then was gone. He looked longingly down at her belly and smiled tightly. Stop feeling guilty, Fray! "Of course. I understand, Clarissa. Please call me, if you need anything. I'm here for you. Thank you for letting me be a part of this, Clarissa." Clary nodded at him and nervously smiled as Aline walked in. She handed Clary and Jonathan printed pictures of their daughter's ultrasound. Jonathan thanked Aline and left the examination room.
Clary followed him out, watching him exit the office. She took a deep breath and turned around, facing Aline. "Okay, I have an important question, Aline… and this stays between you and me." Aline's eyes widened and she nodded. "What is it, Clary? I knew it… you're not safe. I was shocked to see him here… should I call the police?" Clary smiled and shook her head. "Thank you, Aline, but no. I need to know if it's safe for me to fly internationally, after everything that's happened." Aline stepped back and furrowed her eyes at Clary. "Yes, you should be fine to fly until about 36 weeks. I'll give you a brochure with tips on flying pregnant. There are no issues with your tests. You and the baby are doing great. Where are you planning to fly and when?" Clary looked down at her phone and smiled. Maia and Tessa had come through. "To Idris and as soon as possible." You're going down, Jonathan.