DECEMBER
Seth was gnawing on one of his finger nails. All of his nails had been through torture these last couple of days. They were hurting but he couldn't stop himself. He was following behind Thora on her way to her flight. This was their last moment together. She would board that flight and never come back. He was losing her for good. She turned around and looked at him with sad eyes.
"If I ask you to marry me, will you stay?" He asked.
"No," she answered.
"Please, don't leave," he pleaded. "I love you so much. Please, stay with me."
"You knew from that start that I would be leaving. This is what I was trying to avoid when I first rejected you," she said.
"Then let me come with you," he said.
"You won't be happy there," she said.
"You don't know that," he said.
"Yes, I do because I know you," she said. "Will you leave WWE? Will you leave your wrestling school and coffee bars behind? Will you leave your family and friends behind just to be with me?"
He shook his head no. He couldn't say the word out loud but he knew she was right calling him out on it. He would never leave all those things behind. He loved his life in USA and he wanted her to love her life there too. He knew it wasn't fair of him to think that she should. She deserved to go home where she longed to be but it was so damn painful having to let her go.
She stepped up to him and reached a hand up to stroke his bearded cheek. Something he used to enjoy but now it hurt when it would be the last time. She stood up on her toes and kissed him. He placed his hands on her hips, desperately wanting to dig in his nails and never let go, but he only held on to her loosely. She broke the kiss and slid out of his hands. He would never get to see her again. He would never get to hold her again. He would never get to kiss her again. He would never get to be with her again.
"Stay," he whispered.
"I can't," she said.
"It's like you never loved me," he said.
He didn't mean that. He wanted to lash out and hurt her the same way he was hurting. Her eyes looked even more sad and he regretted those words ever leaving his mouth. Before he could apologize, she said the last words he would ever hear from her.
"If that's what you need to believe in order to move on, I'm not gonna argue against it," she said.
She turned around and walked away. He wanted to yell after her how sorry he was, that he didn't mean it, and that he loved her. Nothing came out of his mouth. He watched her walk out of his life. She would never return. He knew the deal from the start. She would never truly be his.
She got on board the plane and found her seat. Everything inside her hurt. She didn't want to love him but she did. This was exactly what she had been trying to avoid but he made it so hard to resist him.
She managed to stay calm while everyone else boarded and the flight went up in the air. She got up from her seat and walked to the bathroom. Once the door was locked, she broke down. She took off her sweater and bit down on it so no one would hear her loud sobs in the plane. She cried for several minutes until she felt drained. There were many hours to go on this flight but at least she got the first portion of tears out. Many more would follow at a later time. Her heart hurt like crazy and she knew it wouldn't heal for a long time.
She cleaned herself up, walked back to her seat, and closed her eyes. She needed to sleep. At least when she was asleep, she wouldn't be thinking about the love she left behind. He was never going to be truly hers.