Okay... It's been over a year since the last time I posted a side story, but that time is over.

This one is actually a compilation of several small (well, "small") stories based on side quests from Hollow Fragment. They all share a certain theme (which you may notice when reading them), but aside from that, they're fairly independent from one another.

Another thing that you'll probably notice is that these events extend over an unspecified period of time. Certain milestones such as boss battles are mentioned, but to give you a rough idea when these short stories take place: It starts soon after the Assault Team cleared the 90th floor and ends on the day after they've defeated the Desert Demon on the 95th floor. You may also check the main story for further details... or you might remember them, which I wouldn't mind either. ;)

Anyway, let's get started.

One day, as the last rays of Aincrad's artificial sun were fading past the horizon of the 76th floor, a group of six people was walking through Arc Sophia on their way from the teleport gate plaza to the residential district. One might think that this was a party returning from a long day of fighting, but one would be very wrong to do so. For starters, they were a party of five plus one more person, and they'd just come back from the 90th floor, where they hadn't even left Koyornos, the main town. Those people were Akinym and the guild Ascending Moon, whom he'd recently started to tutor in some capacity.

Well, and as for what they'd done on the 90th floor...

ODE: Hm, I must say, that town, Koyornos… It was a nice place, don't you think?

Junimenta: I liked it! It had a kind of… urban charm.

Susanoo: Well, I certainly liked it better than these small backwater hamlets we've visited.

Akinym: If you've found a place you like, that's good. Koyornos has become somewhat popular recently, and the Council received a few requests for lodging recommendations there. That said, there are still enough places available – the fact that you can buy a single flat rather than just a whole house certainly helps… but I suppose you've seen that. Well, I'd suggest to make up your mind quickly nonetheless. You know where to go now, so you should buy whatever quarters you wanna move into soon… as long as you can afford it, of course – given that real estate in Koyornos doesn't exactly come cheap.

Tsukuyomi [slightly insecurely]: We should be able to handle that. After all, we wouldn't have had the idea of getting a permanent place to stay of our own if there was no way for us to afford it…

Junimenta: No reason to sound so meek, Tsuku! We've saved a good amount of money, and now that we're settling down here on the upper floors, I really want a place of our own for us, not just some rooms at an inn!

ODE [crosses his arms, slightly contemplatively]: Not that I mind, but I have to say: I actually quite enjoyed travelling from place to place in this game. It almost makes me sad that I didn't get to travel at least every once in a while during my life. [slightly dejectedly] Well, that's what happens when your everyday life always keeps you too busy… Not to mention that it would've been quite expensive.

Kaito [dryly]: Well, you could continue to stay at inns if you want that so badly, ODE. It's not as if we'd stop you. If anything, it would allow us to get two apartments for two people each instead of one for two and one for three… [slightly huffily] because let's be real: We all know what the room arrangement is gonna be.

Kaito threw a meaningful glance at Tsukuyomi and Junimenta, and the two "recipients" quickly averted their eyes in embarrassment. Well, he'd certainly hit the nail on the head.

Susanoo [sighs]: I'd sure love to share a room with a pretty girl, too. Heck, I'd jump on the opportunity to keep living at the shabbiest inn out there if the inhabitants were girls.

Akinym [thinks]: They'd probably move out if that guy showed up there…

Tsukuyomi: Well, let's not cause trouble for anyone, okay? [slightly curiously] But that reminds me, there's something I've wanted to ask, and since the topic of inns has already come up… Akinym-san, you're staying at the inn that's run by Agil-san, the leader of one of the clearing guilds, the Two-Handed Builders, is that correct?

Akinym: That's right. Asuna-san had done me the favour of booking a room for me there when I first arrived on the upper floors, and Agil-san allowed me to stay later. Well, I've never seen a need to switch to another inn, so…

At that moment, the group went through an archway – one of the many gates between Arc Sophia's districts. It led to a part of the town square, where they could find a café to their right and a small plaza with a fountain to the left. This was the end of the market district, and they were about to enter the residential area. Among other things, this part of the city was where most inns were located.

Akinym: Come to think of it, we've almost reached it. It's there, right up ahead, the building on the right side at the top of the small staircase over there.

Tsukuyomi: Heh? Come to think of it, I've heard there's also a shop and a small restaurant on the ground floor. I'm actually tempted to take a look if we're passing by anyway. What about you guys?

Junimenta: Hm… I am a bit curious myself, so...

ODE: Well, sure, why not?

Kaito: Not that I particularly mind, [slightly worriedly] but…

Susanoo [irritatedly]: I know I've said earlier that I wouldn't mind an inn with a lot of girls, but I think this one's gotta be the exception. There's nothing to gain anyway.

Kaito: Yeah… They're all already obsessed with that one guy! [upset] Damn that black bastard, hogging all of them to himself! Leave some for the rest!

Tsukuyomi [exasperatedly]: Are you bringing that up again?

Kaito: Yeah, because it's driving me nuts! There are more than enough guys out there – certainly more than girls – so why should only one get lucky?! That lucky!

Susanoo [nods understandingly]: I second that. Honestly, how comes they… [energetically, slightly curiously] Actually, we might as well ask you, Akinym, now that we're talking about that inn! As a guy who sees what's going on there, what do you think? I've heard that he always shows off his harem, letting them cook for him or serve him in whatever way every day!

Kaito: Not to mention that it's said that he has a different one every night… Or maybe not just at night. I remember how I saw him walk down the market street with this one girl that always dresses so revealingly, [very irritatedly] and she was glued to his arm the whole time… [grimaces] especially her boobs, and she even asked him if it didn't make him happy that a girl pressed her body against him like that! The audacity of these couples to show off in public!

Susanoo: Yeah… and the stories I've heard only get worse: That guy apparently takes all his different girls out on quests… quests for fan service, that is! Those stories are awfully clear about how these quests always end with the girls having their clothes ripped, dissolved, soaked or whatnot, and don't get me started on how many of these "quests" lead straight to outdoor baths or…

Akinym [sternly, very annoyed]: Okay, that's enough! You wanna hear my opinion on this?! Mind-boggling nonsense, all of it! [rubs his temples] Just listening to such claims makes my head hurt. Urgh… [sternly] Listen, such rumors are what happens if people with too much time on their hands can't get their priorities straight, so they spend that time on gossiping!

At this point, Tsukuyomi, who – just like ODE and Junimenta – had been standing back so far, listening to Susanoo and Kaito's rant speechlessly, took the opportunity to speak up.

Tsukuyomi [slightly awkwardly]: Well, let's just treat such stories as that: gossip… and let's not dwell on it any further from now on, okay?

Kaito: Well, I'm not convinced! [to Akinym] What makes you so sure that those are just "nonsensical rumors", anyway?

Susanoo: Yeah, everything people see and hear paints a pretty clear picture. And you're telling us that all of that is wrong?!

Akinym: How many of these people who've "seen and heard" this "pretty clear picture" actually know Kirito-san and his "harem" personally? [exasperatedly] People are so quick to jump to the weirdest conclusions, that's why I'm not interested in those conclusions!

Stopping for a moment, Akinym turned his head to the right. In the middle of this heated "discussion", they'd arrived in front of Agil's inn. A certain thought crossed Akinym's mind, and he gestured the members of Ascending Moon to follow him while approaching the entrance door.

Akinym: If you wanna know what this group is really like, I'd recommend you to see it for yourselves! Nothing's stopping you from coming by. It's not as if I have the deepest insight into their lives, but everything I have seen while actually watching them interact hasn't been all that different from the dynamic within the various guilds I tutored, so if nothing else, you can expect them to be not "obsessed with some guy". There won't be any shenanigans that…

Akinym opened the door with gusto, Ascending Moon right behind him, and they were immediately greeted with a peculiar cry.

Sinon: WAAAH!

As soon as the strange, baby-like cry quieted down, the whole room fell silent. Well, Agil's shop and restaurant wasn't very busy at the moment. There was his NPC assistant behind the counter – Agil himself was busy elsewhere together with his guild – and only one table was occupied. All the other costumers had "fled" from the bizarre happenings at that one table.

The good news was that – exactly according to Akinym's plan – all residents of the inn were present, and so were the frequent visitors Kirito, Asuna and Yui. There was, however, the question what the hell they were doing.

For instance, Asuna and Leafa were apparently fighting over a fork, with Leafa claiming in a weirdly whiny voice that she was "old enough for pointy objects"… and Silica stood next to them, trying to mediate between them – or at least that's what it looked like. She was mentioning something about "listening to their big sister", but her efforts didn't appear to amount to anything. Maybe it was because of her awfully timid demeanour, or maybe it was because everyone had gone crazy…

Speaking of which, Philia was, for some reason, crouching on the floor and barking. Sitting directly next to her where Kirito and Yui… and Sinon, apparently. Whatever the reason might've been, Sinon sat huddled up right next to Yui, who was pressing Sinon's head against her chest.

Now, all of them stopped whatever it was they'd been doing, and they turned towards the new visitors at the door. Likewise, those newcomers had stopped dead in their tracks without even stepping inside the building, and they were staring in disbelief and bewilderment at the scene in front of them.

The silence and the mutual staredown were soon disrupted by Lisbeth, who, in a highly dramatic fashion that was (probably) supposed to make her look frightened, crouched down behind Kirito's chair and threw her arms around his neck.

Lisbeth: WAAAAH! Daddy, I'm scared! Some mean guy and his henchmen broke into our house, so protect your cute little daughter!

Kirito: Liz, this is not the time to stay in character! [slightly strained] And stop choking me!

Yui: Now, now, there's nothing to be afraid of! That's just your uncle Akinym who came home, and he's brought some guests with him!

Leafa: Huh? Akinym-san is… our uncle?

Well, it was certainly the first time he'd heard of that. In that very moment, however, Akinym didn't think about his newly ascribed family status. He was still staring at the group sitting at the table, wondering which "case" he should be the most confused about. There were certainly more than enough contenders… Akinym's subconsciousness settled on Sinon, whom his gaze ended up resting on. Speaking of whom, Sinon was staying completely silent, being paralysed with embarrassment.

Anyway, the first one out of the group at the door to speak up was…

Susanoo [to Akinym, flatly]: You sure about the "no shenanigans" thing?

Kaito [annoyed]: Yeah, doesn't look to me as if there's "no obsession over a guy"! [grumbles] Looks more like he's acting out yet another fantasy…

Relatively unperturbed by the upcoming misunderstanding – or rather in an attempt to stop it before it might get out of hand – Asuna spoke up, hoping to clear things up.

Asuna [slightly awkwardly]: Well, take this seriously for a moment, everyone, okay? [to Akinym and Ascending Moon] I know this must seem strange, but there's an explanation for all of this. [slightly exasperatedly] We've explained this half a dozen times already, but it seems to be necessary one more time…

Akinym [raises a hand, calmly]: There's no need for that. I think we've stayed long enough, so feel free to just continue… whatever this is.

Before he'd even finished speaking, Akinym turned around and began pushing the members of Ascending Moon back a little. It wasn't easy, given that some of them (or at least ODE) weren't exactly… easy to move.

ODE: Huh? Come on, Akinym-kun, [teasingly] let me watch a while longer what the young folks are up to! Didn't you bring us here for that exact reason? And it's barely been half a minute!

Akinym: That half a minute has turned out to be plenty! You just forget what you've seen here! [mutters] I'll try to do the same…

Asuna: Wait, at least hear us out!

It was no use. Before anyone could utter another word, Akinym closed the door behind himself, and that was the end of that story. Well, as a final consequence, playing house was henceforth banned at the inn.

And as to what happened outside…

Tsukuyomi: All things considered, I actually have to agree with Susanoo. Whatever was going on inside there, it didn't give me the feeling that these people are just a normal group as you might find it everywhere, and merely victims of baseless rumors…

Akinym: One thing doesn't have anything to do with the other. You see, it's just that – in my agitation – I've completely forgotten a very important detail: Obsessed with a guy or not, they're all just an utterly strange bunch…

Over the course of the following weeks/months, Akinym experienced numerous reminders of just how much of "an utterly strange bunch" they were. For instance, some time later, he found himself inside the salesroom of Lisbeth's smithy… for something that wouldn't normally take place there.

Kirito [gasps]: Was this apple… [yells dramatically] poisoned?!

He reached for his throat with one hand while raising the other towards the ceiling. This was accentuated by fairly clichéd choking noises. His body began to twitch fitfully at the same time. Then, he suddenly froze, and after another second, he stiffly keeled over and landed flat on his back. Kirito lay still for a few seconds before twitching one more time. After that, he stopped moving entirely.

So… What was going on? A food sampling gone wrong? Or a murder mystery? Was it yet another murder case in a safe zone? Well… none of that. The truth was less serious, albeit just as concerning for some people. It was "Snow White".

Philia [steps forward, flatly]: Snow White! What happened?

Yui [kneels besides Kirito, hunching over him, stiffly]: SNOW WHITE, SNOW WHITE!

Silica [throws up her arms, feignedly shocked]: Ooooh… How terrible!

Asuna [flatly]: Snow White has eaten a poisoned apple and died…

Lisbeth [very stiffly]: Will we never see her smile again?!

Well, let's spare ourselves the remaining of the seven… um, eight dwarves, actually, and boil it down to this: One after another, Philia, Yui, Silica, Asuna, Lisbeth, Strea, Sinon and Leafa "cried" about "Snow White's" death… in voices that could've come straight out of a translation app, and once that part was over…

Silica [whispers]: Okay, Pina, it's your turn. Do it just like I've told you beforehand!

Pina cried out affirmatively, and it flew from its waiting spot behind Silica to the ceiling, where the feathered dragon hovered above Kirito for a moment, during which the familiar spread its wings and lifted its head as if it was posing. Then, with a resolute cry, Pina swiftly dove down, "aiming" for Kirito's mouth.

Indeed, when Pina crashed into him, Kiri… ahem, Snow White came back to life. After flinching and jerkily sliding up into a sitting position, he shoved Pina out of his face and tried to spit out what felt like some of Pina's feathers in his mouth – not that there actually were any, but as already said, it felt that way nonetheless. In any case, while Kirito had certainly anticipated that Pina would land on his face, he apparently hadn't thought that Silica's familiar would be quite as… forceful.

The rest of the cast appeared to be unperturbed, though, and the "dwarves" began to "cheerfully" dance around their reanimated "princess". Well, they did, however, look like bunch of cheap toy soldiers, given how stiff they were while hopping around Kirito.

Asuna: Snow White lives!

All the Dwarves: Snow White lives!

Yui: The Prince's kiss brought her back to life!

All the Dwarves: True love's kiss brought her back to life!

Strea: Now we can be happy again!

While they continued their "dance", the narrator stepped up for the closing words.

Klein [clears throat, slightly solemnly]: And henceforth, Snow White, the Prince, and the dwarves lived happily ever after!

Now that the play was over, the audience applauded, and the actors could finally break character.

Lisbeth: Phew… That wasn't so bad.

Leafa: It was certainly different from putting on a school play.

Philia: You think so? [slightly embarrassedly] If anything, I think the only real difference is that we've put less effort into our performance. I mean, we didn't have a real stage or any costumes… not even real rehearsals.

Asuna: Well, it's not as if we have that much free time. Considering what little preparations we've made, I think it was at least fun. Oh, [turns towards the audience] and thank you, too, for coming! It wouldn't have been the same without an audience. Thank you for the applause, too… [frowns] although…

Asuna turned her gaze towards one particular member of the audience. As mentioned, they'd applauded, but that's only true for the majority of the spectators. Agil and Fuurinkazan except for Klein, who was participating in the play, had applauded, but the one person who was left was sitting still with his arms crossed.

Asuna [hesitantly]: Um… Akinym-san, what is… [thinks] How should I put this? [says aloud] Was there something wrong with the performance, or why is it that you are… [flatly] completely quiet?

Lisbeth [looking at Akinym, upset]: What's this about anything "being wrong with out performance", Asuna? What I wanna know is what's wrong with him! You just got to see an exclusive play that [points at the rest of the audience] not many people were invited to! And free of charge, at that! The drama guild that usually does this charges a fee!

Akinym [dryly]: If I had paid for this, I would demand a refund now!

Leafa [whispers]: Why did we invite Akinym-san again?

Philia: Well, it wouldn't have been the same without an audience, but there weren't many people we could've asked. I mean, Agil was the only one from his guild who came, and those were some of the selected few we came up with. Besides, wasn't it Strea's idea to ask him, too?

Strea [cheerfully]: Of course! The more, the merrier, right? And we only had to go upstairs to ask him, so of course I did!

Lisbeth [groans]: That's not the point! None of this is! [glares at Akinym] For crying out loud, would it kill you to just show a little gratitude and applaud, even if it's just out of politeness?!

Akinym [sternly]: You might as well ask me to drop any and all sincerity! In any case, applause is acknowledgement of a considerable feat. The only considerable thing about your acting is how much it sucks!

Lisbeth [mutters]: Honestly, you…

Sinon [slightly awkwardly]: W-well, to be honest… [calmly] You have to admit that – [to Akinym, slightly annoyed] although you could've held back a little – [slightly hesitantly] we didn't exactly put our hearts into this play.

Strea: Huh? You didn't?

Leafa: You… didn't notice that?

Strea: Well, for starters, why would you not? I was sure that this was just how this play is meant to be performed, so I followed your example!

Silica [mutters]: Does… Strea-san seriously have no idea what acting is supposed to look like? I would've expected that she at least watched some movies throughout her life so far…

Yui: Actually, I'm also quite surprised. I did not have a point of reference for "acting", so I acted under the assumption that a play is meant to be like that…

Asuna: Well, in your case, Yui-chan, I can understand that… [mutters] but why Strea-san, too?

Yui: Hm… But if acting is supposed to be different, why didn't you just do it right? Especially if you don't like that Akinym-san complains about it?

Asuna: Th-that's…

Silica: W-well, Yui-chan, you see…

Leafa: It's… It is… um…

Sinon: Because it's embarrassing, that's not so difficult to say! And I doubt that anyone else here feels differently. I wasn't so thrilled about this play – a fairytale of all things – that I'd go all out…

Just as Sinon had suspected, nobody could say that it was different in their case. This satiated Yui's curiosity to some extent… but not completely.

Yui [contemplatively]: Hm, I see… Acting is apparently embarrassing for humans… [slightly doubtfully] but… [curiously] Akinym-san, what exactly should this play have been like according to your expectations?

Akinym: What it should've been like? Well, frankly, the easiest thing to say is what it shouldn't have been like. Basically, your performance came across as this:

At that point, Akinym intentionally relaxed his whole body… to a downright unnatural degree. He slumped his shoulders, hunched forward slightly, even his knees gave in a little. Furthermore, his eyes… no, his entire face took on an empty expression as he began to stare off into space. Then, he continued to speak in an unenthusiastic, bored voiced that befitted his posture.

Akinym: Oh no, Snow White died. How terrible. Whatever shall we…

Instead of finishing the last line, Akinym suddenly let his head drop. He closed his eyes and imitated a snoring noise to complete the act.

Lisbeth: It wasn't that bad!

Akinym [returns to normal]: Oh, please! Someone supposedly important to you, the dwarves, died, and you looked as if it was boring you! Honestly, the by far best actor among you was Pina! It at least put some energy into its role!

To emphasise the point, Akinym pointed at Pina. The feathered dragon seemed surprised at first, but it quickly became clear that it wasn't particularly happy about the "praise". Rather than showing any kind of joy, Pina turned away with a huff.

Meanwhile, the humans… or rather the other non-humans reacted in their own way.

Yui [dejectedly]: Were we really so bad? [curiously] But that still doesn't answer the question what we could've done better, so, Akinym-san, what is it that we should've done?

Akinym gave the question some thought. He figured that he should indeed be more constructive regarding this issue. That had been important during his time as an instructor, and he didn't see any reason why this situation should be fundamentally different. The most difficult part, however, was figuring out what he could even say to help.

Akinym: Hm, there isn't much I can say about acting. Sure, it has to be livelier, [mutters] but how? [louder] One thing actors do – according to what I've heard – that might help you is to imitate your real life experiences. [interestedly] Actually, this might help you, specifically, Yui, since you've said that you lacked a good point of reference: Don't view the script as a fabricated scenario, but always picture the scenes as if they were seriously happening, and give the same emotional response as under those circumstances! You can use experiences in similar situations and imitate what you've felt then and there.

Yui [seriously]: Hm, I see… So that's what an actor is supposed to do…

Asuna: Hasn't this become much too serious?! We only wanted to perform a simple play for fun…

Silica: Not to mention that Akinym-san's suggestion sounds so embarrassing… Ugh, just imagining to act out a romantic scene like that…

Akinym: I honestly don't see the problem. Anyway, just try it one time, Yui! Let's say for practice. Take the scene where the dwarves mourn Snow White's death, and picture it as if Kirito-san really dies!

Kirito [troubled]: Okay, listen… This is… heavy.

Asuna [worriedly]: Honestly, Akinym-san, I think this is going too far.

Lisbeth [annoyed]: Yeah! What are you asking of a child?!

Despite any protests, Yui was already putting Akinym's idea into practice. The result even surpassed what he had expected.

It should be noted that Yui's programme had a relatively sophisticated subroutine that served the purpose of simulating events. Normally, it was used to predict how a situation would (according to Yui's data) most likely play out depending on her actions. That way, Yui could come up with a set of possible courses of actions, simulate them and then pick the one with the best emotional response from the people who were involved.

Now, on the other hand, Akinym had inadvertently triggered the same process, which, this time, simulated Kirito's death. Yui experienced these simulations hardly differently from the actual events around her, so to her, this scene she was picturing was about as realistic as if it was truly happening.

Well, and what was this leading to? Yui began to cry.

Yui: P-papa… died? No… This can't be…

Kirito: Y-yui?!

Asuna: Yui-chan? What's wrong?

Leafa: Is… this really happening? She's really getting into this…

Lisbeth: You bet she does! Or rather, this is really going way too far! [to Akinym, upset] Hey, look what you've done, Mister "Make this more realistic"! You've made her cry!

Akinym [excitedly]: Perfect!

Everyone else but Yui: PERFECT?!

Kirito [upset]: You can't be serious! [kneels in front of Yui, soothingly] Hey, Yui, it's okay. Nothing actually happened, so calm down, okay?

Asuna [very sternly]: Indeed! By all that's right and fair, Akinym-san, but that's really taking this too far! [pats Yui's head, soothingly] And you don't need to worry, Yui-chan! See? Papa is alright!

Lisbeth: Yeah, [to Akinym, annoyed] and you… [very upset] What the hell is wrong with you?!

Akinym [dryly, slightly annoyed]: Nothing, I suppose. I just…

Lisbeth didn't let him finish. Before he could say another word, she rushed up to him and almost jumped into his face.

Lisbeth: "Nothing", my ass! What the hell were you thinking, telling Yui to picture her father dying?!

Akinym: As I was trying to say, I…

Lisbeth: You did…

Akinym: Teaching her how to act! THAT's what I did! Could all of you stop being so dramatic just because it worked!?

Lisbeth: So what?! That's not even the point! For the last time, this isn't something you tell a child to do!

Akinym: "Child", my foot! Yui is an AI, and she should be able to...

Lisbeth: Don't give me your usual "she's just a computer" nonsense! Yui isn't a simple calculator or something! Besides, that's not even the point! For starters, what kind of scenes do you use as examples?!

Akinym: Oh, please! As if that should even be a problem! It's not as if anything's happened to Kirito-san for real, so I honestly fail to see the issue!

Lisbeth: THE ISSUE?! That would be that you made a child cry! God, you're just...and so… [groans loudly] For crying out loud, do you have no soul?!

Akinym [seriously, slightly annoyed]: No.

This last remark worked pretty much as desired, and Lisbeth took a few steps back, unsure what to say. Even so, her face still showed Akinym clearly how annoyed she was.

Lisbeth: Guys, I start to think we should've let him play the Evil Queen.

This "proposal" was met with several nods and an occasional, "That's true."

Sinon [sighs]: I hate to admit it, but that sounds like a reasonable idea…

Argo: Hey, hey, don'tcha go 'n steal my role! I ain't givin' it up to Akinym! [playfully] Ain't every day that I get to poison Kii-bou!

Kirito: Remind me to be extra suspicious when I buy intel from you from now on!

Akinym [exasperatedly]: Well, if you wanna talk about your cast, there are also some things I've been wondering about concerning that issue…

While some of the others reacted to Akinym's last remark by staring at him with varying degrees of doubt and insecurity (that is, regarding what these "some things" might be or how they should explain them), others exchanged such glances between each other. Oddly enough, in the end, nobody minded Akinym addressing the topic… mainly because they welcomed the change of subject.

Argo: Is one of 'em why a cutie like lil' ol' me would be so insecure 'bout her beauty that she'd think Kii-bou might be prettier? As if that's even 'n option!

Kirito: I've once heard that a man's praise in his own mouth stinks!

Klein: What I wanna know is why I had to be the narrator if I could've played the Prince!

Akinym [slightly exasperatedly]: Neither of these issues have been on my mind, [slightly curiously] although I did wonder why Silica-san's familiar was playing the Prince…

Dynamm: Yeah, what was up with that?

Lisbeth: W-well…

Leafa: A-bout… that…

Asuna: How should we put it…?

Sinon [sighs]: At first, Kirito was chosen for that role right away, but then, everyone went crazy for the role of Snow White.

Asuna: It… It wasn't that bad, Sinonon!

Sinon [slightly sternly and exasperatedly]: That's not what I remember! [slightly exasperatedly] I think I was the only one who wasn't interested. [calmly] Anyway, in the end, the only compromise that could be reached was that Kirito would play Snow White, and the girls would play the dwarves. Well, and the role of the Prince was left to Pina… somehow.

Akinym: Well, that does at least answer my biggest question, namely why Kirito-san of all people would play Snow White… I was wondering if it was because he's got the "hair as black as ebony" part down, and the "skin as white as snow"… kind of. I suppose "lips as red as blood" could've been done with make-up, so…

Leafa [excitedly]: That's what I've been thinking!

Leafa's sudden outburst certainly drew everyone's attention, although quite a few people immediately turned their heads away in exasperation. Even Akinym, who, at this point, wasn't sure anymore if questioning anything that happened around this group was worth the effort, was taken aback massively by the fiercely shining gleam in Leafa's eyes.

One person, however, wasn't so much astonished as they were just annoyed.

Kirito: Not again, Leafa! How often will you try to push this onto me?! I don't even remember when you started!

Leafa: I do! It was pretty much exactly ten years ago! I even snatched Mom's make-up set, but you kept running away!

Kirito: Because I wasn't on board with the idea at all! And I'm still not!

Yui: Papa, Leafa-san, stop fighting! That's not the right way to resolve a conflict!

Yui's attempt to to stand between the quarrelling siblings may have been noble, but as to whether it was successful…

Leafa: I'm not letting this go! I don't even know why you're so against that idea! When we were kids, people believed that we were sisters anyway, so why not just…

Kirito: Argh, thank you, dear little sister, for making that accursed memory commonly known!

Lisbeth [confusedly]: S-sisters?

Philia: Kirito… was mistaken for a girl?

Strea: Huh? But why? Isn't Kirito a boy?

Sinon: I guess these soft features of his must've been even worse ten years ago…

Klein [seriously, slightly huffily]: Well, I, for my part, can say for sure that Kirinoji would make a horrible girl! As a man, I find that he lacks any ladylike charm!

Kirito: Give me a break, all of you!

They didn't. The argument continued this way for a while, no matter how vigorously Kirito – and, occasionally, others – denied the "Kirito would make for a great girl" claims.

For instance, he called the "skin as white as snow" claim into doubt, only to be immediately rebutted by several people such as Leafa, Argo, Klein… even Asuna. Leafa had bluntly stated that if he had a problem with his "gamer tan", he shouldn't have stayed cooped up in his room all the time back in the real world… which led to a discussion about whether Kirito had been a NEET…

The only person who thoroughly stayed out of all of this was Akinym. He'd long reached the point where he could only wonder what kind of scene he was witnessing. He'd asked a question and had received an answer he'd, frankly, never wanted to know.

Akinym [thinks]: These people and their problems… Such a strange bunch! Coming here was a bad idea… I should've turned down the invitation, it would've saved me a headache – among other things. I probably should try my best to stay out of this madness from now on.

And so, Akinym did keep his distance to the chaos that inhabited his inn… or at least he tried. For example, as much as he could attempt to dodge any shenanigans he encountered, one day, he learnt that he might accidentally walk in on them.

One evening, Akinym and Sinon met up in the corridor on the second floor of Agil's inn. They'd returned from an evening hunt earlier: On the 93rd floor, there were some nocturnal monsters which had an increased chance of dropping crystals at the time, and Akinym and Sinon had found a good spot for snipers (such as Sinon) to take them out easily as they left the caves at a certain area for the night. Well, they'd got a Healing Crystal and a Teleport Crystal out of it.

Anyhow, they'd rested in their rooms for a little while, but they didn't plan to call it a day – not yet. For now, they went to Asuna's room first. Asuna (and company – that is, Kirito and Yui) spent the night at the inn since the floor boss battle on the 93rd floor would take place the next morning, and on such occasions, she and Kirito preferred to stay in Arc Sophia rather than to go back to their cabin on the 83rd floor. Incidentally, this was related to Akinym and Sinon's intention to speak with her at this hour. They'd participate in the boss battle and wanted to quickly discuss a small matter with her.

Thus, the two of them stood in front of the door to Asuna's temporary room, and Sinon knocked.

Sinon: Asuna, are you there? This is Sinon. If it's okay, Akinym-san and I would like to talk with you. It shouldn't take too long.

A reply from the other side of the door came pretty much instantly.

Yui: Sinon-san? [cheerfully] Yes, come in, please!

After receiving that invitation, Sinon remained standing still. She was hesitant to reach for the door handle. These doors could only be opened if the occupant of the room invited the player on the outside in, but they knew from experience that Yui could unlock the door, too – in fact, even Pina could. That, however, wasn't the reason for Sinon's hesitation. She simply wasn't sure if she should wait for Asuna to speak up, especially since she'd heard some other voices discussing something in the background when Yui had invited them in.

Meanwhile, Akinym didn't bother with such worries. For all he cared, they could come in now, so he reached over to the door handle and opened the door. When he went into Asuna's room, he stayed close to the door so that Sinon could step into the room next to him. She did so with a feeling of exasperation, directed at her partner, though…

...although that feeling swiftly made way for a similar one, albeit that the "target" was different this time, and Akinym would share it. In front of them, there was indeed a surprisingly large gathering… and an actually unsurprisingly strange one, at that.

There was, as to be expected, Yui, and also Asuna and Lisbeth, all of whom wore – for some reason – the "bath towel attire". Furthermore, Leafa was there, wearing the nightgown she'd taken a liking to… so one might've called that "an improvement". That said, the final fragment of the picture Akinym and Sinon found inside this room was the most concerning one: There was Silica, and there was Kirito… who was sniffing the former… all while Silica looked down bashfully.

Kirito [contemplatively]: This smell… Yeah, I definitely know it from somewhere… Just where from? [slightly determinedly] Don't tell me, I'll figure it out!

Unlike Kirito (well, and Silica, too), the rest of the people in the room noticed the two newest spectators, and they greeted them with awkward stares. That is, except for Yui, who was smiling warmly instead.

Yui: Sinon-san, Akinym-san, good evening!

Asuna: Go-good evening… [mutters] indeed.

Lisbeth: What brings you here to our little… soiree?

For another few seconds, silence dominated the room as both sides kept staring at each other. Then…

Akinym [calmly]: Actually, don't mind us. It appears that we've come at a bad time.

Sinon: Seems like it.

In the same breath, Sinon took a stepped back into the hallway, just as Akinym was closing the door again.

Asuna, Lisbeth and Leafa [panicking]: WAIT! We can explain!

Akinym was about to pull the door shut, the girls' plead notwithstanding, but Sinon raised her hand and pressed it against the door to stop him. Akinym took a hint and let go of the door handle, and Sinon pushed the door open again.

Sinon: This better be good, you hear?

The first one to explain themself was actually Kirito, who, startled be the shouts from the three girls behind him, had finally… come to his senses, so to speak.

Kirito [thinks]: Ugh… Please no more misunderstandings… And it's Sinon and Akinym of all people… [says aloud, very defensively] Wait, it's not what it looks like, I swear! Nothing questionable is happening!

Akinym: In that case, it'd really be not what it looks like.

Lisbeth [sternly]: Listen, I don't care if you think of Kirito as a depraved perv…

Kirito: I do!

Lisbeth: …but you better don't think of me as an accomplice! [seriously] I'm telling you what's really happened!

Thus, Lisbeth explained swiftly that she, Asuna and Yui had taken a shower (why she herself was doing this in Asuna's room remained a mystery) when Kirito had knocked on the door. Yui had let him in rashly, and that's where it'd all begun. One after another, Leafa and Silica had arrived afterwards, and for some reason, Yui had taken a strange interest in their smell.

Lisbeth: ...and that leads us to how Kirito got captivated by the desire to sniff Silica!

Asuna: Liz, you know that this isn't how it happened! You were the one who tempted him, or does "I bet you can't figure out what that smell is from" not ring a bell!?

Lisbeth: Um… That… I… [slightly dejectedly] I admit my fault.

Kirito: Anyway, as you can see, I did nothing wrong this time! Especially since I got express permission from Silica!

Sinon: I'm not so sure about that. Even if Liz spurred you on, you still went along with the idea, didn't you?

Kirito: Argh, listen: Yui started this whole smelling business and insisted that I take part in it! I wanted to stay out of this, but I got dragged into it!

Akinym: That still doesn't explain why you didn't just refuse.

Kirito: I did…

Akinym: Then stick with that decision!

Sinon: Yeah, you didn't look as if anything was forced on you against your will. Rather than that, you seemed to be really into it.

Kirito: I couldn't help it, okay? Silica smells delicious, so much that it was downright making me hungry!

The silence from earlier returned as Akinym and Sinon kept staring at Kirito for a moment. Meanwhile, Silica turned an even darker shade of red… which proved to be possible after all.

Sinon: You really don't realise that you've just made it sound even worse, do you?

Akinym: You know, you'd do well to start thinking about what this stuff coming out of your mouth sounds like sometimes. It might be better… for everyone.

At this point, Kirito just hung his head in defeat. It was just no use – he could feel that he'd end up as the bad guy no matter what he'd do.

Well, what was next? Let's say that Yui didn't let this topic go as easily as the others were hoping. She sneaked up on Sinon surprisingly inconspicuously, and then…

Yui: Wow, Sinon-san smells really good, too! Papa, if you're done being… um… "into" Silica-san's smell, maybe you can smell Sinon-san next?

Asuna: Yui-chan, what are you suggesting?! You seriously can't go around and do that!

Sinon: Why would I let Kirito sniff me like some shoddy pervert?! I swear, just try to get close to me, and I'll find a way to smash your nose in – even in VR, safe zone or not!

Kirito [raises his hands defensively]: I didn't plan to! Seriously, I don't wanna be a part of this!

Yui [dejectedly]: Hm… Too bad. [slightly excitedly] Akinym-san, since you're standing right next to her, I'm sure you can confirm that Sinon-san smells really nice – a fresh, sweet smell, like flowers!

Sinon: W-well, I took a bath just before I came here, so that's probably just the soap…

Akinym: And I honestly don't care. You definitely won't find me with my nose at the neck of another person – unlike a certain someone.

Kirito [mutters]: Give me a break…

Lisbeth [teasingly]: What? Is it because you already get a noseful every time you're out in the field?

Akinym [sternly, slightly upset]: Nope, don't even think about it! I'm not going to be a part of this! No. Chance. Whatsoever. And don't even pretend that you were trying to do anything other than involving me in this mess!

Well… not that this even remained on Lisbeth's mind for a moment longer. Now that her gaze got caught on Akinym, a realisation was creeping up on her. She suddenly glanced downward, and her eyes went wide when it finally dawned on her that her towel was still the only thing covering her body.

Lisbeth [points at Akinym, upset]: Fine, because you better get out of here, you lecherous peeping tom!

Akinym [very annoyed]: Pardon?!

Lisbeth: You've heard me! There are three half-naked girls in here, so it should be obvious that there's no place for you! What do you even think you're doing?!

Akinym: Right now, I'm taking offense at the insinuation I'd get a kick out of seeing Yui like that! I'll also have you know that I couldn't care less about you or Asuna-san either, even if you weren't wearing those towels to boot!

Rather than being reassuring or anything like that, this remark only angered Lisbeth even more, albeit in a different way. In fact, any observer could practically see the veins popping up all over her face. Well, and she was by no means the only one to become aggravated. Asuna obviously didn't want to get dragged into this, and even Sinon thought that Akinym was just insensitive – in fact, hardly better than Kirito on his worst days, with the only real difference being that Akinym did it on purpose and for a reason.

Lisbeth: Why, you…

The whole situation might've blown up at any second, but then...

Leafa [hesitantly]: Um, could I… say something?

Everyone turned towards Leafa, who, oddly enough, had completely stayed out of the conversation so far. Now, there she was, awkwardly putting her hand up.

Leafa: I've been wondering about this for the last few minutes, but wouldn't it be better to just stop… this? I mean, rather than to continue arguing about it. I think it would be less… embarrassing.

Asuna: That's… That sounds like a good idea! [thinks] Not that I want to go on like this… It was bad enough without being put on the spot by Liz… As if I wanted Akinym-san to barge in!

She was by no means the only one to agree with Leafa. Everyone in the room (except for Yui, perhaps) would prefer to call it quits at this point.

Yui: Hm, if that is what you want… but wasn't there something you've wanted to talk about with Mama, Sinon-san?

Sinon: Huh? Ah, yes, there was something we wanted to ask, but… after all this commotion, I've forgotten what it was.

Akinym: Same here. Honestly, how shall I keep anything serious on my mind after walking in on… on…

The words "on such a peculiar scene" were on the tip of Akinym's tongue. Giving the gathering in the room another once-over, he could only be amazed how these people managed to turn something utterly mundane such as soap into such a crazy misunderstanding. He'd seen quite a few groups – be it in the virtual or the real world – but none of them were such a strange bunch…

Be that as it may, for now, he could only retreat. Alas, as he and Sinon turned around to leave, the next person showed up to cut off their escape route.

Philia [calmly]: Hey, I've heard talking from here. [curiously] Why would you leave the door… [confusedly] Um, what's going on here?

Akinym (and others) sighed. He admonished himself for overlooking a crucial detail: There simply was no escape from this madness.

The days and even weeks came and went, but the chaos that was dwelling on the upper floor of Agil's inn stayed the whole time, only leaving for work during the day. Due to these circumstances, Akinym made a habit of fleeing… whenever a chance presented itself, that is.

One evening, he got such a chance when he had to meet Ascending Moon to discuss their progress and their prospects of joining the Assault Team soon. Normally, he'd tell them to meet him at his office at the castle, but on this particular evening, the inn had seemed relatively quiet to him – almost like the calm before the storm. The only time he'd even seen any of the residents had been when he'd come across Leafa knocking on Asuna's door, and she'd been let in, he'd heard several other voices from inside the room. Such gatherings had often been a bad omen, so Akinym had taken precautions.

In other words, he'd decided that such a nice evening was perfect for taking a stroll – a looong stroll, that is. Maybe one that led to Koyornos on the 90th floor – to the two flats Ascending Moon had bought there, to be more precise… and that's where he was now, specifically on a chair - "home-made" by Junimenta, just like the entire rest of the fairly modest furniture – in the small living room of the unit where Susanoo, Kaito and ODE were staying.

Akinym: ...so with Junimenta-san's new scimitar, the Mountain's Line Edge, upgraded to plus ten, your equipment should be good enough, and all of you have gotten full sets of standard gear that should get you all the way to the end of the game if you keep enhancing it properly.

Tsukuyomi: Yes, we've put our focus on that recently, after all.

Junimenta: It's true that the new sword is good, but I still kinda like the old one… I know you've said that getting a bonus for Slash damage is better, but I think I'm dealing enough of that with my Sword Skills, so I've always liked the Thrust damage bonus on my old weapon. Now I deal basically no damage by stabbing monsters.

ODE [slightly teasingly]: That's quite the thing to say for a girl, Juni-chan! You better make sure to never cheat on her, Tsukuyomi-kun, or you'll be in for a rude awakening!

Tsukuyomi: I wouldn't, even if you didn't tell me that!

Akinym [shakes his head]: Could we stick to the point?! In any case, Junimenta-san, worrying about the variety of options you have in combat is something for small groups and solo players. It'd be better for the five of you to specialise in different fields and to get variety by working together as a team. That's considerably more effective. For instance, your idea of using thrusts with your curved sword does – as you've said yourself – not work with your Sword Skills, and you don't have high enough Strength to deal much Thrust damage with manual strikes – even with that bonus. Leave enemies that are weak to thrusts to Susanoo-san!

Tsukuyomi: Well, you can also keep your old weapon as a spare. That won't hurt!

Junimenta: Alright, alright! You win. [exasperatedly, slightly huffily] You didn't have to write a whole essay on this, though, Akinym-kun! I would've let it go anyway, [huffily, glances at Tsukuyomi] although I think a certain someone wouldn't always get so overprotective if I could get by completely on my own, so there's that!

Tsukuyomi: Come on, Juni! Of course I'm worried that you're throwing yourself in danger, fighting in this game… and on the highest floors now, no less!

Junimenta: Hmph, you've explained that often enough, I know, but I told you just as often that I'm not gonna stay put while the rest of you – especially you, Tsuku - "throw yourselves in danger". Yet you still keep that attitude up! In fact, you've been ditching me regularly as of late, haven't you!?

This time, Tsukuyomi had no reply ready. What Junimenta had said was true – plain and simple. When Ascending Moon was questing/hunting/etcetera with both Akinym and Sinon, there often was one member who had to stay behind, and Tsukuyomi "happened" to not tell Junimenta about their joint missions every once in a while.

Junimenta: I've even ended up being one level below you and ODE because of…

Then, as if Cardinal didn't want to hear the rest of it, everything went pitch-black all of a sudden.

Junimenta: HUH?! W-w-what… What happened?!

Kaito: What's wrong now?!

Tsukuyomi: Hey, keep calm, everyone! Especially you, Juni. I'm sure there's an explanation.

Susanoo: Like what?! Did the lights suddenly break?

Akinym: Looking at this calmly, I doubt that. It's true that an area can get this dark in this game, although I've heard a selected few people claim that they could still make out the contours of their surroundings even in total darkness. Whether that's true or not, however, it shouldn't be that bad inside here. At the very least, there should still be the light shining through the windows.

Tsukuyomi: That's right! [slightly contemplatively] Let's see… Maybe it's one of those system errors we've been hearing about? Something like the graphics unit shutting down?

ODE [feignedly exasperatedly]: Ah, that's what you get for your bickering about the same issue over and over again, Tsukuyomi-kun, Juni-chan: The whole visual system breaks down!

The commotion didn't die down. In fact, some background noises could be heard, as if one or two people got up and cautiously walked through the room.

Junimenta: Whatever, I don't like this! What if it stays this way? How are we supposed to finish the game like this?!

Tsukuyomi: Hey, don't panic, Juni!

Akinym: We won't clear the game while we're blind, that's true, but the system can repair itself. A problem like this… It should be fixed… eventually.

Susanoo, Kaito and Junimenta: Eventually?!

Akinym: I don't know when, okay?! I can't even tell what exactly has happened, so I have no idea how long fixing the problem will take!

Apparently, not very long: As soon as Akinym had finished talking, their sense of sight returned.

Kaito [calmly]: Well, that was quick. Now we can… [panicking] What the…?!

Kaito's sudden outcry startled everyone, and his outstretched arm, which pointed at the window, directed their attention to ODE, who was standing there. During the blackout, he'd searched the lightless room for the window in order to see if there was really no light whatsoever. Now, he was facing the window, and after hearing Kaito scream, he turned around with a puzzled look on his face.

ODE: What's wrong, Kaito-ku… [slightly confusedly] Wait, why are you… [glances down upon himself] Oh, and me, too. What's happened now?

There was indeed something extremely strange about ODE's appearance, and as he (and, by now, the others) had noticed, the same applied to almost everybody else in the room.

Junimenta [shrieks]: What in the… What are you doing, you… YOU NUDISTS?! Why would you change into towels in the dark?!

Sure enough, everyone – except for Junimenta, for whatever reason – seemed to wear nothing but a towel around their waist.

Akinym: We obviously didn't! In fact, I definitely felt my regular clothes on my body just a moment ago!

Kaito: Then why is this happening?! Is this another stupid bug?

Susanoo: And why only the guys?! This is the kind of fanservice that should happen the other way around, so only Juni…

He didn't get any further – as Tsukuyomi punched him in the gut, and Junimenta kicked him in the face.

Tsukuyomi and Junimenta: Forget it!

Chuckling about his guildmates' bickering, ODE walked over to the table in the middle of the room, where he – undeterred by this strange incident – put his fists on the sides of torso. He certainly had no qualms about showing off his bulky stature.

ODE: No matter what's going on, what do we guys have to be overly concerned about!? It's not as if any of us has to be ashamed of his figure, or am I wrong? Besides, we still have the towels – that's not all that different from wearing swimming trunks!

Kaito [slightly hesitantly]: Well, I… [determinedly] Of course I'm not ashamed! What would I be ashamed of! In fact, I might as well go out there and show the whole world what I've got!

Tsukuyomi [flatly]: No, don't offend common decency!

Susanoo [gets up again]: Hah, if you think you can impress anyone with that twiggy body of yours, you must be hallucinating or something! If anything, I should be the one to present myself!

Tsukuyomi: The same goes for you.

Kaito: Twiggy?! Pah! Have you taken a look in the mirror during those past two and a half years?! You're the one who's skinny as a rake, you measly bean sprout!

Susanoo: These words coming out of your mouth make me laugh! Then again, I might actually take the "twiggy" part back, that only goes for your puny arms! When was the last time you worked out irl?! Shed some pounds, would you!?

Kaito: As if I have to put up with that coming from you! I bet that any girl out there would choose my striking figure over yours!

Susanoo: Don't make me laugh! That'd be the other way around for sure!

Junimenta: To make this quick: You both look pathetic, and no girls would even want to look your way.

Cruel, but actually somewhat true. Not that either of them listened, or that anyone took much interest in Susanoo and Kaito's usual quarrel. Akinym, in particular, was too busy checking his equipment, wondering if anything was wrong with it. Once he'd affirmed that he was actually still wearing the same items as earlier, he closed his menu again.

Akinym: Okay, whatever it is, it hasn't affected my gear. In fact, according to the menu, I'm actually still wearing my regular clothes. Only our appearance seems to be affected.

Tsukuyomi: Hm, that is strange… [exasperatedly, slightly dejectedly] Then again, this whole situation is. [slightly at a loss] So, what are we supposed to do now?

Akinym: I don't see what we can do other than what we did earlier during the other issue: We can only wait and hope that the system corrects this… [exasperatedly] mistake quickly.

ODE: Seems reasonable enough to me. So… What exactly should we do in the meantime?

Akinym: Well, the best thing might be to continue where we left off. Your assessment isn't over yet. Actually, Junimenta-san mentioned earlier that her level was slightly lower – that might be a good point to continue with.

Tsukuyomi [insecurely]: That? But, right now, isn't it more important to… [resignedly] Actually, if there's nothing we can do about… this problem, it'd be better than to keep this awkward atmosphere.

ODE: That's the spirit, Tsukuyomi-kun! [slightly contemplatively] Now then…

ODE threw a serious look at Susanoo and Kaito on the other side of the table. The two of them were still arguing back and forth without getting anywhere. After contemplating his options for a few seconds, ODE put on a small smirk and walked towards them.

ODE: And we'll give you some space, so that you can keep talking in peace…

Before either of them could react, ODE grabbed Susanoo and Kaito around the waist, lifted them up and carried them out of the room on his shoulders.

Susanoo: What the… ODE?!

Kaito: What's this supposed to be?! We're not even finished with our debate!

Susanoo: Yeah, let us down!

ODE: Huh? Is that so? Too bad, because you'd only disturb Tsukuyomi-kun and Akinym-kun while they're talking! So let's not make a nuisance of ourselves, shall we!? If the system strips us down to a towel anyway, we might as well use the opportunity and take a shower!

Sure enough, ODE wasted no time to enter the bathroom, still carrying the two guys. The word "shower" sent them straight into a panic.

Susanoo: What?! Together?!

Kaito: You can't do that to us! That's abuse of minors!

ODE [feignedly upset, slightly sternly]: What was that, you cheeky youngsters?! [seriously] I don't bite, and I'm not gonna do anything questionable, of course! [slightly teasingly] Well, if you need help with washing your backs, I'll gladly give you a hand, though!

Kaito: What is this?! A public bathhouse?! I'll pass!

Susanoo: Same here! And anyway, I don't wanna shower with an old muscleman!

Kaito: Yeah! I'd take a pretty girl washing my back every day, but not you, ODE!

ODE [exasperatedly]: "Girl", "girl"… It's always the same with you two! [sternly] Now listen up, you rascals! Back in my day, men enjoyed each other's company! I still remember the trip to northern Tohoku with my colleagues – good times. When we went into the hot spring at our inn, do you think anyone even cared about a mixed bath or anything?! There were only us men… [flatly] and snow monkeys, but that's another thing. [seriously] The point is that three men are far manlier than one man and one woman!

Needless to say, their dispute went on and on, even after ODE had closed the bathroom door behind himself. At the very least, the three remaining people in the living room didn't have to hear them any longer… even though they could vividly imagine it, and the awkward atmosphere did anything but vanish.

Even so, they continued their own discussion where Akinym had suggested. According to Tsukuyomi, thanks to the help from Akinym and Sinon (and, in a sense, the Slouch Hat of the Sage), he and ODE had reached level 107, Junimenta level 106, and Susanoo and Kaito level 105. Tsukuyomi even proudly declared that his whole guild had cleared the "ten levels margin" of the Assault Team… only to be informed by Akinym that the Council had recently decided to raise the level requirement to twelve levels above the number of the current floor, and new members should be even stronger in order to make it easier for Akinym to convince the other guilds that admitting them would be beneficial.

Well, Akinym was still overall optimistic that Ascending Moon would be able to join the Assault Team soon. He figured that the five players had to keep pushing a while longer, and they'd have to raise their levels by two or three, but that should be doable by the time the Assault Team would clear the 95th floor. Speaking of which, the players would soon fight the boss of the 94th floor, and it'd be the small clearing guilds' turn afterwards. Since they'd certainly be after the limited resources on that floor, Akinym doubted that they'd share them with Ascending Moon anyway, but in turn, when the 95th floor was cleared, they probably wouldn't mind Ascending Moon joining them, so Akinym settled on bringing Ascending Moon's admittance up at that point… even if it'd take him quite a lot of effort to get them ready by that time, considering the amount of work he'd have to do as a member of the Assault Team and the representative of the small guilds on top of that.

Regardless, Akinym continued Ascending Moon's assessment with Tsukuyomi and Junimenta. The general notion remained the same: The guild was more or less ready to join the Assault Team. In light of that, their conversation ended on a fairly positive note.

Akinym: ...so that would be your precautions against traps. Well, next is… nothing, actually. We've worked through my list.

Tsukuyomi: I see. In that case, we're finished here. [exasperatedly, slightly awkwardly] Too bad that the same can't be said about our… special issue.

Indeed, Akinym and Tsukuyomi had been sitting through the whole talk in their involuntary bath towel outfits. Even now, the system hadn't fixed this issue, and it made them worry how much longer that would take. Akinym, in particular, wondered if he'd get home at all that night at this rate.

Then, they could hear a door – presumably the one to the bathroom – open, followed by the sound of hurried footsteps, and Kaito rushed into the room.

Kaito: Guys, you wouldn't believe it, but we've figured out how to solve the problem with our clothes!

Sure enough, as Akinym, Tsukuyomi and Junimenta could clearly see right away, Kaito was back in his regular clothes.

Tsukuyomi: Huh? How?! We're still like this! What did you do to fix this?

Kaito: You see, we still had to take off these towels, so we… [grumbles] Actually, I still can't believe that ODE threw us into the cubicle, and he even blocked off the way out…

Junimenta: Could you just finish your explanation for now?

Kaito [slightly annoyed]: Okay, okay… [calmly] We had to unequip all of our stuff, and when we put it back on afterwards, everything was back to normal.

Tsukuyomi: Really? That's… simple. But all the better! [looks around] I guess I'll do the same. Wait, I'll just go to another room quickly.

So he got up to do that, and so did Akinym.

Mere minutes later, Akinym was already back in Arc Sophia, headed for Agil's inn. Now that he'd taken care of his own business and problems, a thought had occurred to him: This error might've happened all over Aincrad, and he'd remembered a certain gathering at the inn that might've run into an awkward situation, especially if – as was usually the case when something like this happened – a certain swordsman got wrapped up in it. Stating that he "might have to get his partner out of a severely bad spot", Akinym had excused himself, and now he was returning to the inn to check on the others.

On the streets of Arc Sophia, he ran into Klein, who was frantically talking to some players that were passing by. When he spotted Akinym, he swiftly wrapped up that conversation, and the leader of the group in question gave him a nod before they left. After that, Klein walked up to Akinym.

Klein: Ah, Akinym, good to meet you here! Something really weird happened earlier, and I wasn't sure if you or the others might be in trouble. For some reason, the whole area went pitch-black earlier, and when everything seemed to go back to normal, the gear of some players went totally haywire! It suddenly looked as if they were walking around in bath towels!

Akinym: Yeah, I've noticed that! I was visiting Ascending Moon, the guild Sinon-san and I are tutoring, in Koyornos to discuss something, and then that error occurred.

Klein: Ah, I see. So it really happened even on other floors… What a pain! Well, you're here, so I guess you already know how to deal with that bug. I was about to go to Agil's place to check on the girls, and maybe on Kirinoji, if he's also there.

Akinym: I was planning to do the same, so let's go!

From their meeting place, it didn't take them long to reach the inn, and when they'd climbed the stairs to the upper floor, Akinym pointed Klein toward Lisbeth's room, where he'd noticed the gathering earlier that evening. He assumed that they were still in there, but when Klein knocked at the door… Well, see for yourself!

Klein: Hey, Liz! Are you and the others in there? I need to tell you something.

There was no response. That is, for a brief moment, they heard something that sounded like Yui's voice, but that noise was cut off abruptly, and no sound came from the other side of the door afterwards. Even after waiting half a minute, no one answered the door.

Klein [mutters]: Doesn't seem like they're there. Let's try one more time! [knocks] Liz, are you there, at least?! Asuna, Silica? Anyone?!

Still nothing. Klein took a step back, and he looked a bit puzzled.

Klein: Nothing. Are you sure you've seen them entering Liz' room?

Akinym: Absolutely. It could be that…

Akinym thought the whole issue through. If the girls were truly in there and were affected by the consequences of the last system error without knowing what to do about it, wouldn't they…? Yeah, know that he thought about it, Akinym's best guess was that they were all still in that room, but he and Klein wouldn't get a reply from them.

Well, there was one thing he figured he could do. Step one was to lean to the side and to "casually" slam his hand against the door. This was still suspicious enough to confuse Klein, who wondered why Akinym would act so dramatically all of a sudden, but Akinym didn't pay that much mind. He'd met his objective: He had – as far as the system was concerned - "knocked".

Akinym: Well, there's nothing we can do if they're not even here. Klein-san, let's go around and keep informing the other players that the bug with the players' appearance can be fixed by re-equipping their gear!

Klein: Huh? You want… W-well, sure. Why not… I guess? You didn't have to raise your voice like that, though, you know? I'm standing right next to you!

Despite all confusion and complaints, Klein went along with Akinym's suggestion, and the two of them spent the next half-hour going to other inns in Arc Sophia to tell the residents there how to solve the problem caused by the system error. Akinym even sent messages to Shivata and the leaders of a few small guilds that weren't staying in Arc Sophia.

Then, they returned to Agil's inn after Klein suggested trying to check on the people again, this time maybe at the other rooms, too. When they walked through the entrance door, they immediately found everyone, even Kirito, Asuna and Yui, down in the restaurant.

Klein: Ah, there you are! We looked for you earlier, but you didn't seem to be here.

Asuna: A-ah, yes… We…

Lisbeth: Well, w-we were… somewhere else! Obviously.

Yui [confusedly]: Hm? But when Klein-san knocked at your door, we were all…

Leafa [covers Yui's mouth]: It doesn't matter where exactly we were, so let's not bother Klein-san with the details, Yui-chan!

Klein: Well, as long as you're alright, everything's fine! I was pretty worried after that system error earlier – I'm sure you noticed that one. Not only did everyone lose their sense of sight for a moment, it even messed up our gear. I can tell you, there was a huge commotion on the street when several players were suddenly running around covered only with a towel! Did you have any problems with that?

In response, the group in front of Klein became even more awkward.

Silica: W-we… Um…

Kirito: No, everything was okay! Isn't that right, everyone?

Asuna: Y-yes! I guess we got lucky, because none of us was affected!

One after another, the others hastily "confirmed" this. That is, Yui was looking around quizzically the whole time, but since Leafa didn't remove her hand from her mouth even for a second, Yui couldn't ask why they were lying.

Akinym: Well, that's good to hear. It would've been fairly embarrassing if all of you had been cooped up in a room when this happened. Just imagine yourselves suddenly being changed into towels… and if history has taught us one thing, something like that would happen exactly when you're in that position with Kirito-san in the room. Can you imagine how awkward that would be?

The looks Akinym's remark earnt him ranged from strained, awkward glances to relatively subtle death glares. Not that he thought much about either variant… or anything in between.

Sinon [mutters]: Honestly, you…

Silica: T-th-that's…

Lisbeth: Y-yeah, lucky us, considering that that did not happen!

While the girls plus Kirito reacted in such a manner, Klein seemed to have something on his mind – to the extent that he hadn't even paid attention to what Akinym had said.

Klein: But didn't… Now that I think about it, didn't Yui just say something about me knocking at Liz' door? How do you know that if you weren't even there? I mean, I didn't say anything about whose room we went to, did I?

Klein's question sent the majority of the people in the room in a state of panic.

Lisbeth: Oh… That?

Philia: Don't pay it any mind, Klein, okay?

Asuna: Yes, we… we… Actually, since we got off so easy this time, how about we celebrate that a little? Wouldn't that be a better use of this nice evening? As it happens, I've been thinking that I may cook something nice for that occasion, and since you went out of your way to come and help us, how about we treat you to something you want?

Lisbeth: Good idea, Asuna! Really, really good idea! So… So maybe I'll get drinks in the meantime! How about lime juice, Klein?

Klein: Huh?! Me? W-why? How did it lead to this?!

Asuna: Don't think too much about it, Klein-san! Just sit down, and we'll take care of everything!

Silica: That's right! Let me set the table in the meantime! Klein-san, you may treat me as your personal waitress this evening! [mutters, determinedly] My dark past during that quest at the restaurant finally pays off!

Klein: Seriously: Hold on! What's going on here?! You guys are way too nice all of a sudden! If you prepared a surprise party for me or anything: It's not my birthday!

Sinon: It's nothing of the sort, Klein. Honestly, just enjoy it while it lasts. Who knows when – [mutters] or if – [says aloud] you'll get another chance.

Klein: I-if you say so… I don't get it, though. Anyway, to get back to the thing Yui said…

Philia: Good grief, Klein! Is that what you wanna talk about so desperately?! There are waaay better topics, you know! Oh, that's right! I've recently discovered an amazing dungeon, so how about we talk about that instead? Let's discuss this at the table over there!

Thus, Philia began shoving Klein towards the table Silica was preparing… while the rest of the group was busy all across the room, too. Even Kirito and Leafa participated in their own way, albeit by leading Yui away from the scene before she could get any ideas about spilling the beans again.

In the end, Sinon was pretty much the only one who remained standing still. That is, until Akinym approached her from behind.

Akinym [dryly]: Anything interesting happened during the "Great Towel Panic"?

Sinon replied by kicking backwards, hitting Akinym's shin, before looking at him over her shoulder in utter annoyance.

Sinon: Don't you dare! You know exactly what was going on! It was bad enough that we just wanted to spend a nice evening chatting, when… when something like that happened, and that right after Kirito had joined. Seriously, it's as if he triggers these kinds of events somehow…

Akinym: So it really was like that?

Sinon: Don't pretend that you haven't figured that out! Not after that stunt earlier! Honestly, you were just rubbing it in, weren't you?!

Akinym: Leaving my intentions aside, that was actually just an educated guess. Then again, when was the last time something so bizarre happened without him being around you girls?

Sinon [sighs]: That's what I wanna know… or rather understand. Well, in any case, I guess I should also thank you for getting us out of that situation without making it even more embarrassing by involving Klein… at least not more than inevitable. If you hadn't let us know about how to solve this predicament, we might've sat there for who-knows-how-long.

Akinym: I guess I can relate to some extent. I was visiting Ascending Moon when all of this happened.

Sinon [slightly awkwardly]: My condolences. [flatly] But I guess it must've been the worst for Junimenta, being the only girl stuck in a situation like that in a room full of guys… with Susanoo and Kaito, to boot.

Akinym: Actually, she was the only one who got to keep their clothes.

Sinon: Really? [thinks] It was the other way around for us… [says aloud] Then again, that's probably just as awkward.

Akinym: I suppose she felt that way. Although she didn't have to worry about Susanoo-san and Kaito-san, given that the two of them were carried to the shower by ODE-san.

Sinon [taken aback]: To the sho… [exasperatedly, slightly taken aback] Do I wanna know what that's about?!

Akinym: Probably not.

Sinon: Sounds about right… [exhaustedly] All in all, I'm just glad that it's at least over.

Akinym: Same here. Looking back at it… or at the "hustle and bustle" here, [slightly annoyed] I can't believe that I had to deal with a situation like this! [very exasperatedly] I think I'm used to quite a lot by now, but this… This was just too random! [dryly] Honestly, how do you guys always get into such situations? It's beyond me! [scans the room, mutters] What a strange bunch, the lot of you…

For a moment, Sinon eyed Akinym as if she was unsure what to think about his comment.

Akinym: What's the matter? Something on your mind, too?

Sinon: It's just… Why are you saying this as if it has nothing to do with you? Like it or not, you're a part of "such situations" more often than you're not, be it as the one who attempts to be the weird voice of reason, just a person who walks in on something you don't wanna be a part of, someone who wants to resolve the newest mess… [slightly annoyed] or someone who makes fun of us because of it. You are just as much of a weirdo as anyone else here, and don't even try to talk your way out of this! [slightly exasperatedly] It's not as if I'm too thrilled about it, [smiles] but as long as we're here, we are the strange bunch!

Akinym didn't say anything in response. After a second or two, he turned away from Sinon and observed what everyone else was doing. Considering that Asuna had indeed occupied the kitchen and that Silica was indeed getting one of the tables ready, they were really planning to have one of their frequent dinner parties of sorts. Sure enough, he could easily picture himself getting roped into it… and it left him surprisingly deep in thought.

A while later, on a certain afternoon, Akinym was helping Ascending Moon with supply shopping. That is, only the male members were there. Junimenta, on the other hand… Let's say she was busy with her own shopping for more… personal purposes.

As to how well the guys' shopping trip went… There were some difficulties – a fact which was reflected on Tsukuyomi's face as he eyed a potion vial at the second player-run pharmacy they'd gone to in Arc Sophia on this day.

Tsukuyomi: I start to think that it's no use… Large Healing Potion Two doesn't seem to be available anywhere anymore. I can find them only one size larger. [turns towards his guildmates] Any luck over there?

Tsukuyomi's question was met with head-shaking from everyone.

Tsukuyomi [sighs]: Figures. It was already a bad sign that the NPC shops didn't have any. Hm… What about that small shop in Lastea on the eighty-second floor?

Akinym: That shop closed down a short while ago. They may have had some loyal customers, but in the end, they struggled too much to replenish their stock, so they went out of business.

Tsukuyomi [slightly dejectedly]: I see… That's too bad. [slightly awkwardly] I guess sellers and buyers are in the same boat in that regard. [worriedly] It's hard to get consumables these days… Not just healing items, but other stuff, too. I mean, we could try all we wanted, we couldn't get enough Teleport Crystals for all of us. [looks around] And I doubt that it'll be different here.

Akinym: That's how it is these days. Especially Teleport Crystals have become so rare and expensive that they're downright unaffordable.

ODE: Hm… Aren't such items essential, though? Normally, I'd think that at least the Assault Team should have enough of them, and if that's not the case, shouldn't you guys from the Council do something about it?

Akinym [slightly annoyed]: We've obviously noticed that, and you can believe me when I say that we would do just about anything – if it was in our power. Unfortunately, the drop rates for crystals and many other useful items are generally low at the moment, and we can't influence that in any way. The only thing you – anyone, for that matter – can do is to find out what monsters offer the best chances at the moment and hope you get lucky when you're hunting them.

Tsukuyomi: In that case, I don't like our chances… Well, for now, I'd already be glad if we could get some cheap potions. These Large Healing Potions Three are a bit too expensive.

Akinym: But they're also your best option. If it gives you any kind of solace: At least you're also getting something for your money.

Tsukuyomi: The amount of HP we can get back with each potion isn't really crucial. Sure, stronger potions are better for healing up quickly, but we need them mostly to recover between battles, and cost efficiency would benefit us much more in that case. Well, ODE can certainly use these high-quality potions since he usually needs to get more HP back [ODE nods]. [slightly insecurely] The rest of us, on the other hand… Large Healing Potions Three restore more HP than we usually need. Compared to Large Healing Potions Two, the next-larger type only heals twenty percent more HP, but used to cost thirty percent more. [checks the price of the potion in his hand] The price even went up further. [slightly worriedly] Even so, Large Healing Potions Two have becoming extremely rare, even at NPC pharmacies, and they only cost one tenth less nowadays. [in resignation] At this point, Large Healing Potions Three really are the better choice, I guess.

Akinym [flatly]: Which is pretty much what I was trying to tell you. It's a harsh truth, but there's nothing I can do to help you.

Tsukuyomi: Seems like it. [seriously] ODE, let's get ten… no, eleven of them – two for each of us, and an additional one for you.

ODE: Alright, I'll go and buy them at the counter. You can keep looking for whatever else we need.

After approving ODE's suggestion with a nod, Tsukuyomi turned towards the shelves again, although his thoughts still lingered around his guild's finicky supply situation. Would they be able to cover their expenses? He figured that they'd have to use these potions sparingly. It would likely be necessary to let their HP drop deeper into the yellow zone before using a potion. That, in turn, meant that they'd have to be extra careful.

This train of thoughts was disrupted when he suddenly heard ODE yelling one aisle behind him.

ODE: Hey, you two louts! What are you doing there, gawking at the street and the other shops, rather than looking for the supplies we need?!

Tsukuyomi (and Akinym, too) turned around to see what was going on. Just as ODE had said, there were Susanoo and Kaito, both standing near the entrance of the shop, where they were watching something outside. Upon taking a look to see what exactly had caught their attention, the rest of the group could see a different – and certainly much bigger – commotion at a nearby clothing store… and, at least as far as Akinym was concerned, they could also see why the two guys were captured by this sight.

Susanoo [annoyed]: He is there…

Kaito: Yeah, in the natural habitat of the harem protagonist: Woman's Land.

Another look at this "Woman's Land" made it clear what this was about: The doors of the shop in question stood wide open, and inside, one could quite clearly see three things. For starters, there were about two dozen female players – quite impressive, given that there were only around thirty of them on the upper floors. Secondly, there was the so-called "harem protagonist" – Kirito. At this point, who else would it be?

While nobody seemed particularly surprised, there was also no one who wanted to have this kind of conversation. In fact, Akinym went so far as to take a simple spear from his inventory, walked up behind Susanoo and Kaito, and then, he whacked them over the head with the shaft of said spear.

Akinym: Don't even start this! I've agreed to help you with purchasing supplies, not with acting like a bunch of sad virgins!

Susanoo: We're just telling the truth! I mean, just look at him!

Kaito: Yeah! That's the Black Swordspervert in action!

Their complaint was met with an utterly annoyed look.

Akinym: "Black Swordspervert"? How the hell did you come up with that stupid nickname?!

Kaito: That one wasn't my idea! People everywhere have started to call him that! Seems about right if you ask me.

Akinym could already tell that the headache he was about to have would be a seriously bad one. This was the first he'd heard of this, but if what Kaito said about "people everywhere" starting to use that epithet was true, it was only a matter of time until it would result in discord among the Assault Team – which would make this an issue for the Council… and therefore for him, too. There was more than enough trouble to be dealt with already, so the last thing Akinym needed was people adding such avoidable problems to his workload.

The worst part was that this was exactly the kind of stupid gossip he could see players waste the time they didn't actually have on. In other words, Akinym didn't even doubt that Kaito spoke the truth.

Susanoo: Besides, if you ask me, "Black Swordspervert" is a fitting title for a guy who leers at girls' underwear!

What was that about? Well, this was related to the last of the aforementioned three things that were clearly visible through the open door of the shop. Anyone who looked closely could see various bras and other pieces of underwear on display – some of which seemed rather… suggestive, even from afar. To put it simply, this was a lingerie shop.

There was one major problem with Susanoo's "theory", though.

Akinym [exasperatedly]: I fail to see the "leering" you're talking about. I can tell even from this distance that he doesn't even know where to look. He keeps staring outside, and he definitely avoids eye contact with any of the customers. Speaking of whom, it seems that some of them are whispering among themselves while throwing glances at him. Honestly, there is nothing desirable about this situation. It's not great, it's just awkward.

Kaito [yells]: Objection: The haves can't understand the have-nots!

Having enough of this, Akinym hit Kaito with the shaft of the spear he held in his hands again. This time, he was aiming at Kaito's scalp, but said aim was slightly off, and Akinym hit him square in the face instead. Not that it really mattered to him.

Akinym: Objection overruled, on the basis that it's stupid and irrelevant!

Kaito [rubs his nose]: You didn't have to hit me, though!

ODE [slightly sternly]: If he hadn't, I would've! You can be frustrated all you want, but don't make a ruckus, and don't cause trouble for others! Don't you remember what happened a while ago at the fortune-teller stall? Back then, those girls only got mad at the two of you!

Kaito [mutters]: But it's true… [to Akinym, says aloud] Besides, shouldn't you know better than anyone what indecency he's up to, given that you basically live with these people?!

Susanoo: Yeah! I bet he even got into this so-called "awkward situation" because all these girls invited him to come along – and coming along he did! In fact, I'm sure I can see The Flash standing next to the display there, and I guess she'll definitely "flash" something, if you know what I mean!

Akinym [very exasperatedly]: Say that to her face, and she'll flash her rapier into yours! Honestly, you two should listen to ODE-san: Nothing good will come of participating in all this gossip.

Thoroughly done with this conversation, Akinym turned towards the accursed lingerie shop that had sparked it in the first place. Well, he had to agree with Susanoo on one point: He could see more familiar faces than just Kirito. In addition to Asuna, he also spotted a rather conspicuous feathered dragon and a quite familiar blond ponytail… among others. He remembered what Sinon had told him about her plans for this day with that group, and from that point, it was fairly easy for him to deduct what was really going on.

Akinym [seriously]: But just to make something clear about the newest conclusion you've jumped to: As someone who – as you've said yourselves – lives with these people, I think what really happened is that the girls simply went shopping and planned to go to this specific place, and then – as the obscure generator of constant chaos that fate apparently is willed it – they ran into Kirito-san, whereupon someone from that group thought, for whatever reason, that it would be fun if he tagged along. As already mentioned, I don't see Kirito-san being on board with this. It's just that he got dragged – not "invited" – along, and he once again failed to rein in these girls' odd, on-the-spur-of-the-moment ideas.

Tsukuyomi [slightly exasperatedly]: Actually, that does sound likely. I mean, there's apparently a "Girls' Shopping Day" event going on. Juni told me about it. Apparently, a bunch of shopkeepers came up with the idea in order to promote businesses with primarily female customers. It seems they've added new goods to their stock, and they're offering decent discounts on pretty much everything today.

Susanoo [mutters]: I'm still not convinced…

Kaito: Me neither. Besides, [to Akinym] the last time you've defended these people on the basis that you have a deeper insight into their group, we ran straight into them pretending to be one large, happy family! I clearly remember something about you predicting "no shenanigans going on", and then, there were plenty of those happening!

Akinym [mutters, exasperatedly]: That's an impressive memory, wasted on something so utterly useless… [says aloud] I know, I know! Back then, even I couldn't be sure what was going on within this group – frankly, I don't really know if that's all that different now. [seriously] The only thing I can say for sure… [slightly frustratedly] As I can tell from experience, [seriously] if you only look at these people superficially and take everything as it may seem at first glance, you're guaranteed to get the completely wrong picture.

Taking another look towards the lingerie shop, Akinym thought about how he could describe the actual dynamic of this peculiar bunch of people. From the looks of it, Kirito was currently trying to knock any ideas Lisbeth had about a particular set of underwear, which, frankly, looked more like several small stripes of thin fabric being tacked together, out of her mind. Judging from the fact that Silica seemed to try the same, Lisbeth wasn't even suggesting these… pieces of clothing for herself. That wasn't exactly helping Akinym to find the right words…

Well, and someone wasn't willing to wait for him to collect his thoughts.

Susanoo: So you're really gonna leave it at "it's not how it seems"? Sounds kinda weak if you ask me.

Akinym: I'm not gonna deny that these girls seem to be oddly dotty about Kirito-san. However, as to why that is – I can't tell. They obviously have their reasons, but it's not as if I know any of them, and I won't pretend that it's different. Well, I suppose it might be exactly as it seems in Asuna-san's case, and another one of them is Kirito-san's sister, so there's that. However, I can't even say for sure if there isn't more to that in those cases. Well, as far as Sinon-san is concerned, I can fairly say that she's a part of this group more for Asuna-san's sake than for Kirito-san's.

While that didn't seem to completely convince Susanoo and Kaito either, it at least left them without anything else to say. This allowed Akinym to take a deep breath and to continue where he'd left off.

Akinym: The only thing I can say for sure – both now and back then – is that they are, without the shadow of a doubt, the strangest bunch I've ever seen. [slightly doubtfully] But, even so, I can't help but think that they're only slightly worse than average when it comes to that.

Tsukuyomi: Um… These statements… don't really match, Akinym-san.

Akinym [slightly exasperatedly]: I know… It's hard to describe, [slightly contemplatively] but the gist of it is that I, while living with these people for the last few months, had often been thinking it was much worse than I would've imagined. You might remember that I originally thought that their shenanigans weren't better or worse than those of any other guild – or group – I've met. [slightly exasperatedly] As it turns out, they've far surpassed my expectations.

Kaito [confusedly]: And how the hell does that make them only "slightly worse than average"?

Akinym let a dubious, rather admonishing glance wander around the members of Ascending Moon while he was answering this question.

Akinym: Because – as it turned out – they're by no means the only ones whom that applies to, or should I remind you how, not too long ago, when this one system error messed up the display of the equipment of some players, I had to witness two teenage guys getting carried to the bathroom by an older man?

Susanoo and Kaito: Don't remind us of that!

Akinym: The point is: Weird stuff happens everywhere, apparently. It's not just Kirito-san and company, but also you, and probably many others, too. Think of it that way: When I put the aforementioned event like that, doesn't it sound like something it actually wasn't? What does that tell you about these rumors about Kirito-san? Honestly, if there's anything to learn from this, it should be that one can't understand the oddities within a group unless they're a part of it.

This left even Susanoo and Kaito dumbfounded. While a single explanation like this wouldn't be enough for them to accept it as a fact from the bottom of their hearts, they couldn't deny the point Akinym had made, and no matter how much they thought about it, they still couldn't. In fact, this marked the final time that either of these two would ever bring up "Kirito's harem".

At the same time, Akinym kept pondering about a certain thought: Weird stuff happens everywhere. Indeed, there was something to it, even though he had – until recently – never paid it any mind. To him, the drama between his classmates and other contemporaries, their squabbles, the small pranks they pulled on each other… all of this and more had been nothing but an unreasonable hassle he didn't want to get involved with. Frankly, the horseplay within the numerous groups he'd tutored throughout his time in SAO hadn't been different.

Then, he'd started living right in the middle of what had to be the strangest combination of people he'd ever seen. At first, they hadn't been any different to him. However, he'd found himself unable to stay out of their fooling around, and over time, he'd gotten so used to it that he was essentially just rolling with it by now. As Sinon had put it: He was, at the end of the day, a part of it – no matter how reluctantly or not.

That said, it bothered him somewhat that it had come to this in the first place. However, when he thought about it that way – that is, by telling himself that "weird stuff happened everywhere" – he could understand why – or at least he had the feeling that he could. After all, if the second group he watched attentively up close wasn't really any better, it could be that this was just how these things went.

Maybe that was why… Indeed, this thought – the thought that people wouldn't always take everything they should seriously, and that they might keep themselves busy with problems Akinym would never fully understand – might explain why – no matter what an utterly strange bunch Kirito, Lisbeth, Klein or any of these "troublemakers" were – he didn't find them disagreeable after all.

So... That marks the end of this side story.

I honestly think I've lost brain cells writing some of Kaito and Susanoo's lines in this one... I guess that's what I get for putting two sad virgins into this story.

Initially, I had planned a few more things for this side story, including an epilogue of sorts at the end, but these elements were cut to avoid making it overly long - it's already much longer than I thought as is.

Speaking of such a change of plans, considering the final HF event that is referenced here, the girls' shopping trip, I've always been wondering why Strea wasn't included in it, given that this would really cap it all off. As a matter of fact, I had an idea to give Strea a role in this, but then, I decided to put this event after the battle against the Desert Demon - which means that Strea simply isn't around at this point.

Next up will be another side story, which is actually connected to one of the events referenced in this one. I'm talking about the "blackout and bath towel" event. To be more precise, it'll be about the girls spending a relax evening just chatting about whatever may be on their mind... up until the point when Kirito knocks at the door, and from there, things will go the way you can see either in HF or here.

So... I'll see you when I've finished writing that!