An hour later the holovid was nearing the climax when Braddon got a blip from Pol's cabin.

"Permission to enter?"

"Granted." came a near inaudible reply.

He brought up the sensors in her cabin and increased the gain on the audio pickups. The guest quarters were much smaller than the brawn's chamber, as they were used much less frequently. Space could not afford to be wasted on a spaceship after all. There was barely enough room to stand next the to bed, and Tristan and Pol's bunks were stacked on top of each other, although they would only need to share until they dropped off Dr. Rice. Pol was sitting on the bed, arms wrapped around her knees. Her hair was no longer tied up in the bun from earlier, but now hung dark, long, and curly around her face, partially concealing her large red mark.

"Is there something I can help you with?" He enquired politely after a few moments realising that maybe she wasn't going to speak.

She fidgeted, fingers winding around each other, "I, I've never met a brainship before." she said quietly.

"Oh, right. It is your first time off world?"

"I've been in shuttles, up to the weather station, that sort of thing. Just," she paused, scrunching up her delicate forehead, "I've never been, inside someone before." She paused briefly as if playing over what she had just said before burying her face in a tangle of bed sheets and arms. A very muffled "I didn't mean it like that!" came through the sheets.

Braddon couldn't help but laugh, "Well I would much rather have you safely inside me, than floating outside of the airlock!"

"I know, I'm being silly, but I just can't imagine what it must be like…" He could barely hear her through the sheets.

"What, being a spaceship?"

"Yes, having access to so many sensors, direct control over all sorts of systems, additional processing power, and memory banks of the on board computer… it must be so, overwhelming." In the heat of the moment her voice had reached an almost normal volume.

"You have thought about this a great deal."

"Yes," She replied, timidly once more. "I guess so, is that bad?"

"No way, I think it is great that you have taken the time to try and understand me."

"Oh." She blushed slightly.

Braddon continued, "I don't really get it either you know."

"Get what?" She looked up at his camera.

"It must be terrifying not being able to look behind you, walking seems terribly inefficient. Not having perfect recall sounds so, problematic. Taste, well that is something I am likely to never understand... Your simple existence is as much a mystery to me."

She started to giggle. "I never thought of it like that."

"If you were placed in a shell right now, of course it would be overwhelming, terrifying even. And if I were suddenly confined to a human body, without any of my enhancements, to me that would feel equally unnatural. Our lived experiences are very different. It's ok if you can't imagine mine."

"But, if I can't imagine how you are feeling, how should I know how you want to be treated?"

If he had a jaw to drop, it would be on the floor, this gentle woman had spent the last few hours, no probably the last few days, trying to figure out shell person etiquette from first principles!

She buried her head in the sheets once more. "I have offended you." came the muffled sound.

"Sorry, no, I was just surprised. Others are usually not nearly as considerate. I'm flattered really. Your problem has a very simple solution. All you need to do is ask, I would be happy to answer some of your questions."

"Really? That wouldn't be rude?" She looked up at his camera eagerly, then down again at the floor as she brushed her hair back in front of her face. "I hate it when people ask the same questions over and over."

Hmmm, probably shouldn't ask about her face. "If you had come up to me as soon as you boarded and asked 20 questions in quick succession, yes that would have been rude. But because I am allowing it, you are free to ask, however that doesn't guarantee I will answer every question."

She fidgeted with her hands, "Well I am curious."

"Go ahead!"

"How do you eat?"

"Tubes and nutrients."

"How do you, um, expel." Her voice shrank to a near inaudible whisper, as her left cheek darkened one more.

Braddon chuckled. "More tubes. Never have to hold it." He teased, he had seen Pacifica racing for the toilet after an extended space walk, apparently the suit catheters were not particularly comfortable for female anatomy, and she had refused to use them unless completely necessary.

"Do you sleep?"

The question momentarily caught him off guard, he paused before answering "Um, no. Well, I did as a child, but we tend to outgrow the need as we mature."

She looked up at his sensor, eyes wide in wonder. "I can't imagine never sleeping…" He felt slightly bad at deceiving her, but what he said was true, for many shell-people at least.

"Um, can you feel this?" She reached out and placed a hand very gently on the wall.

"No, I don't have any tactile sensors installed in that particular panel. I do have a number of sensors mostly in my hull that can detect pressure and heat that I use to help navigate, and to make sure my landings are as smooth as possible."

She pulled back her hand from the wall and intertwined its fingers with that of her other. She thought through the answer carefully before moving on to the next question.

"Do you remember everything, forever?"

"I have a large volume of personal memory banks that I can use, but they are not large enough to hold every little thing I experience for centuries. Eventually parts are deleted, and certain things are just never stored to begin with. Much the same to how a normal brain functions."

She closed her eyes before asking her next question.

"Is it lonely?" He had an idea of what she might have meant, but he wanted to clarify.

"Is what lonely?"

"Never sleeping, is it lonely when your passengers are asleep?"

"Oh, right, I do get a lot of time to myself, that's for sure, but I have plenty of things to keep me busy. Every time I pass by a station or communications satellite I get an entertainment packet of all the latest movies, music, news etc. My hobby takes up a lot of time as well, and there are often other brain ships within hailing distance that I can chat to at any time."

Her body visibly relaxed.

"You were worried for me?"

"A little, I kept thinking you must hate being trapped in there, but then I thought about how people always assume I hate how my face looks." Her hands were tightly clenched together.

"You don't?" He asked gently.

She lifted a hand gently to the red mark "I was kissed by a Goddess." She remarked proudly. "What I hate, is how people react to it, they either stare, or avoid eye-contact completely. They ask me why I haven't got it removed. It does not hurt, it causes no impairment… Kishandra kissed us both, but because Tris was touched on his side, no one tells him to go and get expensive surgery!" She buried her head in her sheets once more.

"I like it." Braddon said firmly. "A flair of colour that compliments your features. A face that, I will be sure to never forget."

She lifted her head and looked into his sensor.

"Thanks," she said quietly, then lifted a hand to touch the wall once more. Not rubbing, or stroking, just placing it gently, like she was trying to feel his pulse. "Thanks, really, um, can I ask one more question?"

"Sure."

"I was doing some research on shell-people, before you came to Nigel, and, well, I noticed some of the files had pictures, well, faces, but many of them didn't."

She paused, that wasn't exactly a question, and it was not a subject on which Braddon was eager to get into a long discussion about. He decided to wait and see exactly where she was going.

"Um, well I guess I was wondering if, do you have a face? No, I mean of course you have a face, but do you have a picture?"

Braddon thought carefully about how to respond. "Most shell-people have never seen their physical bodies. Some chose to use an avatar of sorts to aid in communications. Others chose to get genetic extrapolations made."

"And you?"

"I have no images to show you." He spoke the words coldly, harsher than intended.

"Sorry, I have offended you." She looked down at her hands.

"No, it's fine, really." He had offered to answer her questions, she didn't know about his personal hang ups surrounding this particular issue. "It's just…"

"You'd rather not talk about it?" Pol finished for him. "It's ok." She smiled. "You mentioned you have a hobby?"

Later after the explosive holo had finally finished, and all his passengers were tucked in and sleeping in their bunks, Braddon was starting to wind down for his own nap. He played over the conversation with Pol a few times. She asked about his sleep, she touched his wall, even asked to see his face! But she felt nothing like Pacifica. He hated to admit it, but he actually kind of liked her. The warm innocence she gave off, her deeply caring nature, but he had liked Pacifica too, and this is what had got him stuck in a bit of a thought loop. Not a panicked spiral, just a loop, round and round, comparing, contrasting, Pol, Pacifica, Pol, Pacifica… He highly doubted anything was going to happen, especially with Paddy and Tristan on board, but it was something to be wary of, to keep an eye on. He adjusted his feeds, listened to some calming Regulan music, and looked around with his telescope for a bit before drifting off into sweet oblivion.

He was watching Pol and Triston test the grav links on the interferometer. But the equipment was made up of large vines that kept twisting and turning every time they took a reading. They were suited up, and the cargo bay doors were wide open. A large seed pod dangled from a high up section of the vines. "I have to get the pod." Pol said. "It is interfering with our instruments." She started to climb up the vine while Tristan floated to the side doing somersaults in zero G. "Look at me Braddon, perfect landing!" He stuck out his arms and legs, slowing his angular momentum while managing to not actually land on anything. Pol quickly reached the pod, but as soon as she touched it with her gloved hand one of the vines lashed out and smacked her in the side, as she fell to the floor he heard Pacifica scream.

Well OK! I'm awake! Braddon checked all of his sensors, and gave himself some nutrients. He had slept a little less than usual, but enough for now. I'll catch up next cycle. There was still a good 6 hours until their arrival at the SSS-900-X. He was looking into the facilities available on the station when he noticed that all the images used were either very obvious renders, or very outdated, and didn't show a lot of the recent expansions. He had an idea, and he hoped Simeon would be agreeable.

"SSS-900-X this is the PB-1070 requesting permission to dock." Braddon relayed his request over the cabin speakers to keep his crew informed. They were all seated in the main cabin.

A picture of Simeon appeared on the screen he had left open for communication. "Permission granted, please dock on the northern globe at terminal 62b, sending docking instructions now." The picture was replaced with a map of the station, and a dotted glowing path directing them to the previously mentioned dock. Braddon received a stream of data including the precise coordinates of the nominated dock, locations of debris and other vessels to avoid, and relevant station rules and regulations that must be adhered to. He quickly used the information and started plotting a different path towards the proposed dock, one that was a bit more scenic...

"Welcome to space station Simeon, if there is anything that you require to make your stay more pleasurable, please enquire at the nearest terminal." The voice continued.

Braddon was unsure if he was speaking to Simeon, or an AI. He knew with a station of this size Simeon couldn't personally see to every task, request, and reading. A lot of the more routine, and menial tasks were performed by an AI, similar to stations without a brain. The brain however provided many advantages and was extremely adaptable, and especially useful in emergency situations.

Suddenly he received a communication request on his private shell-person comm link

"I welcome you Braddon, great stallion that you are, to nurse at my bosom of riches and wonder!"

Braddon couldn't help but chuckle, Ok, THAT definitely wasn't the AI… guess the rumours about Simeon's tact, or lack thereof, rang true after all.

"Haha, what? Gross." Was all he could manage to respond.

"Had to make sure you weren't a total stick in the mud!" Simeon continued. "Seriously though, it is always a special treat having a B&B ship docked, let me know if you need anything ok?"

"Sure thing, Simeon, I actually have something in mind..." He wondered if Simeon might be feeling a bit lonely without a Brawn around, he was surprised the brawn transfer was talking so long, must be delayed by the dual brain idea... On the cabin speakers Braddon continued, "Simeon, would the following flight path cause any issues?" He displayed a path that corkscrewed around the station, before docking at the aforementioned dock.

"Well, it has questionable fuel efficiency, but won't put you in the way of anything important or dangerous." Simeon sounded a little puzzled. Perplexed even.

"Thanks Simeon, thought I might enjoy some of the scenery. Also can I ask how long it has been since you tested your external lighting system? These systems are rarely required, it must be easy to get behind on the maintenance."

Simeon's artificial mouth curled up into a cheeky grin. "Why of course! I do believe they are due for a functionality test, say in 15 minutes from now?"

"Perfect, thanks Simeon. PB-1070 out."

Paddy gave a hearty laugh, while Pol and Tristan exchanged confused glances. "Why don't we head directly to the dock?" Tristan enquired.

"I apologise for the delay," Braddon started, "but I just couldn't pass up an opportunity like this! It's been a while since I photographed a station, and one manned by a brain nonetheless! Dr. Rice, this won't interfere with your travel plans?"

She smiled warmly. "I am sure you already checked, and know that it will indeed not."

He proceeded to follow the winding path and focused his telescope towards Simeon and his now brightly illuminated exterior. There were in fact a couple of sections where the lighting wasn't working, so the maintenance check probably was needed after all. He filled up banks of memory with images from multiple angles, close ups of details, and got a few of other ships both departing and arriving, that would make for some nice additions. I've got a lot of work to do in post, but at least there are no pesky fluttering leaves this time!

When he finally did dock Paddy decided to take the two techs to explore a bit of the station while he refuelled. While Paddy had been off planet many times previously, it was a first for both of Pol and Tristan, and they looked around at everything with wide eyes like two kids in a candy shop.

Braddon eagerly got to work on his art project, it had been a while since he had been so inspired! It was great to have something to really focus on and consume his concentration. He stitched together the various images, creating an incredibly detailed 3D render, he then got to work with some colour correction, manually illuminating the sections with broken lighting, adding in some ion streams of passing ships, setting the speed of the station's rotation, and choosing the most pleasing angle and background for 2D viewing purposes. Despite the focus of the project something had been niggling away in Braddon's mind and he decided to ask Simeon about it. He was a little surprised Simeon hadn't contacted him straight away, he must be at least curious about the images...

At that moment Simeon contacted him. Well, speak of the devil.

"Braddon, got everything you need?"

"Um, yeah, thanks, the dock techs are looking after me, refuelling and all that."

"Good good. So what do you think?"

"Um, of what?

"Of me! Of the space station! Now that you have seen it up close and personal."

"Oh, right. I got a lot of good footage, still piecing it together, thanks for keeping the lights on."

"Well, it is not every day that someone offers to take your portrait!"

"Speaking of portraits, um, you use an avatar right?" Braddon felt awkward, and hoped it wasn't too much of a personal question.

"This old thing?" Simeon displayed a picture of his ruggedly handsome face on one of Braddon's screens. It had one eyebrow raised and a sly crooked grin.

"Yeah, so, I guess my question was why?" He already knew the answer, but wanted to hear it from Simeon.

Simeon's image vanished from the display. "Hmmm, well, lots of reasons. I guess the biggest one is that it makes it easier to interact with all of the softies whose safety I am responsible for. Over 18,000 people call SSS-900 home at any given time, many of which do not have a great deal of experience with shell-people. Letting them see the look on my face, so to speak, helps them to understand how I am feeling and can prevent miscommunication or them taking my words the wrong way. Having a face that they can think of as "Simeon" helps them think of me as human, and not just some fancy AI." Braddon was quiet, so he went on. "It helps with privacy too, if a soft-shell enters a room, all the other people can see that they have entered, and know that they are being observed. However, if I bring up my sensors in a room, nobody will realise that I am there until I announce myself. Putting my image on a screen is a friendly and respectful way of doing so."

Braddon thought this over, it definitely made a lot of sense, for a space station at least. "Is it hard?" He asked, "like, does it take a lot of processing power? To get the mouth right and stuff."

"It was at first, but I have been doing it for so long, that it has just become second nature. I don't always use it of course, there are plenty of times it is not required, but it definitely comes in handy."

Braddon was silent, deep in thought.

"Why the sudden interest? You thinking of creating your own, I could help you find something foxy as all hell." Simeon said eagerly.

"No, sorry, just no." Braddon couldn't help but leak a little panic into his voice. You monster! He remembered her words. He couldn't bear to think of what he must look like...

"Braddon, you alright?" A concerned looking Simeon appeared back on his screen.

"Yeah kinda, well, Not really." His thoughts were getting jumbled. "Just, it shouldn't matter what I look like, but people are always so damn curious! Can I even be considered human, if I don't smile, or frown? If I don't have a human face of my own?"

Simeon's avatar vanished once more from his screen. He must have realised it was having the opposite of the intended effect. "Shit, Braddon, that is not what I meant at all, what on Terra did she do to you to make you question your humanity?"

"As if you don't already know!" Braddon snapped, and cut the link.

His heart was pounding, his mind racing, he adjusted his feeds, toggled some doors, and tried to analyse what just happened. He was angry, but with who? Simeon? No, not really, everything he said made sense, and he hadn't said anything nasty. Pacifica? A little, You monster! Her words echoed through his memories. Who was she to judge me like that? It was like if he had ripped out her heart, and compared the bleeding mushy organ to one of those cartoon 'love hearts' before declaring that she was repulsive. He directed one of the servos to take a can of soup and throw it at the floor. It exploded spectacularly, spraying the creamed corn all over the nearby surfaces. It wasn't just Pacifica, there was someone else too, himself. Maybe if I had used an avatar, just maybe that would have been enough, maybe if she could have seen that, she wouldn't have wanted to open me up… His hormone levels were coming back into normal range, but his mind continued to spiral. One of the dock techs stuck her head in the airlock. "Braddon, everything alright? I heard something loud?"

"Oh, yes, sorry my bad, everything is fine." He replied. Get a grip! Dr Rice left your airlock not less than 30 minutes prior and you are already falling to pieces, shit. He set the servo to work cleaning up the soup, hopefully before Paddy and the others returned. Damn, it got everywhere… He was going to have to apologise to Simeon too, he didn't deserve that. Braddon was a little surprised that Simeon hadn't attempted to reconnect the link, a morbid thought struck him, what if he had told Dr Rice! What if he thought I was unfit for duty and was trying to get me stuck here?

"Simeon?"

"Braddon, you alright?" Simeon replied quickly, too quickly...

"Sorry, I didn't mean it, you um, you didn't mention any of that to Dr. Rice did you?"

"Who? Oh your passenger, she was a Doctor? Braddon calm down, I would never snitch on you to psych for something as minor as that." Simeon sounded disgusted by the thought.

"Oh, sorry, overreacting as usual." Braddon felt so embarrassed.

"Braddon, I should be the one apologising, that was a deeply personal question, which you are under no obligation to answer."

"I know," he sighed, "but I didn't have to respond like that!"

"Look, I am in no way trying to squeeze information out of you, but I want you to know you don't need to tip toe around everything you say out of fear of being grounded, I won't judge you, and I am NOT going to report you, do you understand?" It was like being lectured by an uncle.

"Thanks Simeon, really. I'm sorry I, I was just caught up by panic for a minute."

"Well unless that panic caused you to blast someone out of an airlock, I don't see any reason to get your Doctor involved."

"I spilt some soup…" Braddon sent an image of the servo wiping away at the soup that was splattered over half the galley.

"Heaven have mercy!" Simeon replied with gusto. "What demon hath possessed you to commit such a horrific atrocity!"

Braddon chuckled at that.

"Braddon, just so you are clear, the only things I know is that something happened with your previous brawn that finished her career, caused you an extended leave of absence, and makes you wince at the term shellcrack." Static briefly flashed on the comms. "From our latest conversation I am guessing that fixation was involved? No, sorry, you don't have to confirm that, but seriously that is all I know. All from original research too, no one has been gossiping about you on the tightbeam."

Braddon let out a sigh of relief, "You serious, no one has mentioned anything?"

"Oh, boy, you gotta do something much more exciting to be the star of gossip around here!"

Braddon chuckled, "When it is all I can think about, it's hard to imagine that others aren't constantly focused on it as well."

"Didn't they teach you in lab school that you are not the centre of the universe?" Simeon mocked.

"Ha! Nope, think I must have missed that lesson." Braddon replied with a little more spirit.

"Braddon, I was thinking a bit about what you said before, about avatars." Braddon's heart sank, he wanted to move on from that embarrassing display. "Do you know anything about Deaf culture?"

That was not the response Braddon was expecting. "Deaf culture? You mean soft people who can't hear?"

"Yes, and no. Medical advances have provided cures for most forms of congenital deafness, but there are a number of people who choose not to have the treatments, even some who are convinced or forced, to get implants, but never even turn them on."

Braddon was intrigued, "What, why? Wouldn't that make life much more difficult for them?"

"Oh people can get by just fine without hearing. There are many types of sign language to communicate with, they rely more heavily on touch to get each other's attention. All holovids can have subtitles in standard, or even sign language for those who prefer. Most of the time basic interactions can be completed with gesture alone, and high speed translation devices make communicating with hearing people about more complicated matters easier than ever."

"Ok, sure, so they can get by without hearing, but why not make use of the treatments if they are available?"

"A number of reasons, one being that they have a sense of community, a shared culture with others who also can not hear, they don't want to lose that connection. Another is that even with implants and medical treatment hearing is often not restored to the same level of an average human, it can be hard to adjust, hard to make sense of what others are saying, hard to learn to speak clearly. It is kind of like choosing to learn a second language, some people love the challenge, others just get frustrated."

"I think I am starting to get your point" Braddon said solemnly "You think I should use an avatar, it will take time to adjust and get used to it, but -"

Simeon cut him off, "No, you have missed my point completely, you self-centered arse. Are the people who chose to stay deaf any less human? Should we ostracise them for choosing to live differently to the norm?"

"No, of course not!" Braddon replied with disgust.

"Avatar or no, you are 100% human and deserve to be treated as such. You are the one who gets to choose how to display your humanity."

It felt like a weight had been lifted from his chest, like Simeon had reached down and was pulling him out of a deep ocean, but a chain of doubt was still attached, threatening to draw him back under.

"But.." He paused, unsure.

"But nothing, do I need to spell it out for you? 1 0 0 % !"

"But, what if I had used an avatar, developed a likeness, would she still have wanted so badly to see me?" Braddon could feel the panic beginning to rise again..

Simeon paused. "She opened you up?" Braddon could feel rage leaking through the comms.

"Yeah."

"Fuckin Grudly shit eating bastard!" Braddon couldn't help but wince at his ferociousness.

"Fixation is an unhealthy obsession, a sign of mental imbalance. Even if you used a likeness I am sure she would have come up with some other ridiculous excuse to open you up, if not just to confirm its accuracy." Simeon was really fired up. "Also that damned 'what if?' game has no winners. Playing that is a good way to run round in circles and feel terrible about yourself with absolutely no payoff. Unless you invited her to take you out, no not even then, it is the brawns duty to protect you! You are not at fault Braddon, no iffs, no butts, no maybes. Understand?"

He did, logically he knew what Simeon was saying to be true, it is what everyone had been saying to him right from the start.

"Yeah, I understand, really. I know that it is not my fault, but sometimes it is hard to feel it, you know?"

"Yeah Braddon, I do." Simeon's voice had lost all the harshness from before, it was closer to a whisper in comparison. "There were many long nights after the Kolnari incident where I thought of all the things I could have done differently, all the tiny mistakes I made. The casualties were low, given the situation we were in, but they still numbered in the hundreds. I did the best job possible with the resources I had, but it is so hard not to feel responsible."

Braddon sighed over the comms, "Of course, sorry, I really have been a self-centred arse haven't I? I can't imagine what that must have been like..."

"All in the past my good sir!" Simeon replied with his usual vigour. "I will always carry a piece of that time with me, but every day as I gather new experiences, it seems to shrink by comparison. With memories as good as ours, we will never forget the past, just try not to let it consume you. Now, please, I have been dying to see what you are creating with those images!"