Early December, Bellevue Hospital
She sees the blinking lights and hears the wailing siren before she even hangs up. Her heart beat pounds at her ears, her chest is tightening, and her surroundings are starting to spin. She closes her eyes in attempt to maintain composure, slowing her breathing as the siren gets louder as it approaches the ambulance bay next to the emergency room entrance.
"Kate," she hears Castle call out, grounding her to reality. "Kate, the car is on the way."
"It's my dad," Kate musters.
"What?"
"Castle, my dad is in that ambulance," she says, gesturing to the vehicle as it pulls into the lot. "I have to–"
She wants to take off running but she's not sturdy enough, still in shock at the terrible turn the day has taken.
"Kate, talk to me. What happened?" Rick can tell she's not fully there.
"A police officer just called me, said he was in an accident," Kate explains.
"Oh, god," Rick sighs.
"I have to go."
"I'm coming with you."
"Rick, please," Kate says, pushing away Castle's outstretched hand (the uninjured one). "Please go home and rest. It's been a long day."
"Yeah, it's been a long day for you too, Kate. I'm staying with you," Rick says.
"Rick! Go home!" She yells. "Please! I don't want you here!"
Rick retreats a bit at her outburst, and ultimately lets her go. Kate runs off back into the emergency room, where the admission nurse directs her toward her father.
"Miss, you can't be in here," a doctor tells her when she gets to the trauma room. Several doctors have surrounded her father's body, which was strapped down on a gurney and covered in multiple scrapes, cuts, and bruises.
"Katie!" Jim exclaims in a pained yell. "Katie!"
"Dad, I'm here," Kate says. "I'm right here."
"Miss, please come with me while the doctors assess your father's injuries," one of the nurses says, guiding Kate toward the family room next to the trauma triage. Waiting there is an officer Kate can only assume is Hank Jones.
"Officer Jones?" Kate asks.
The man meets her eye and nods. "Are you Jim's daughter?"
"Yes," Kate nods. She takes a seat next to him, still shaking from the adrenaline coursing through her. "Do you-do you know what happened?"
"Don't know everything, but when I got to the scene, your dad had run his car into a lamppost and a tree. Must've been going pretty fast cuz the post bent over. And, uh, your dad, uh..."
"You can tell me," Kate says when the officer hesitates.
"His head hit the windshield pretty hard. We got him out the car pretty quick, so if there's any serious injury, they'll, uh, they'll be able to treat it."
"Was he...is he..?"
"Blew a .2 before getting in the ambulance," Officer Jones confirms. "I really thought he was doing better."
"Wait..." Kate says. "You know him?"
"I've driven him home at bar close 'bout a dozen times," says Jones. "Before he went to the treatment center."
"Oh," Kate sighs. "He's never...Wh-where did you find him?"
"'Round Houston and Broadway. Weirdly enough he'd plugged in an address in the GPS, West 10th in Greenwich."
"That's-that's my...oh, god," Kate feels the evening nausea quickly returning. "He was coming to see me."
Officer Jones gently puts his hand on Kate's shoulder to try offer some comfort, but the guilt came over her like a flood.
"This is all my fault. I should have checked on him," she says. "I should've gone to his apartment when he called."
"This isn't your fault," the officer assures her. "Always remember that."
She knows deep down that he's right, but right now, Kate can only think of the what-ifs. In some ways, she's grateful it was only a lamppost that he hit. At least he didn't hit someone, kill someone. At least he didn't kill himself. That might have been too much for Kate to bear.
"Family of Jim Beckett?" A doctor says as he enters the otherwise empty room where Kate and the officer were waiting.
"Yes," Kate sniffs, her eyes burning red from tears.
"I'm Doctor Wix," says the man, middle aged and balding but with striking blue eyes. "I treated your father when he arrived here from the accident. He has a concussion and a deep shoulder laceration, but all other injuries are fairly minor. He's currently sedated but being monitored to make sure his brain does not swell. We will reduce his sedation in the morning to assess any signs of brain damage, though preliminary scans are quite promising."
"Can I see him?" Kate asks.
"Yes, I can bring you to him, though I do want you to be prepared. He's pretty beaten up, despite those injuries being mostly cuts and bruises," Dr. Wix says.
"Okay, I understand," Kate nods and follows the doctor through the hospital halls. After several turns, they made it to the entryway of Jim's room. After some hesitation, Kate takes a deep breath and pulls the chair next to her dad's bed.
"Hey, dad," she whispers, gently grabbing his hand.
"Hmm? Who?" Jim asks groggily, his eyelids barely opening.
"Dad, it's me. It's Katie," she tells him.
"Oh," Jim musters, still not opening his eyes. "You...left."
"No, dad, I'm here, right here," Kate says, giving Jim's hand a small squeeze.
"No...leave," he says. "Don't want you..."
"It's okay, dad. You were in an accident, but you're going to be okay," she tells him, thinking that his broken sentences were caused by confusion. "It's Katie, I'm here."
"No..."
"Just try to relax, dad. You have a head injury."
"Head's hurt," he says.
"Yeah, but it'll be okay. You hit it on the windshield."
"The crash, I was..."
"I know, dad. Just try to relax."
"Out," Jim says bluntly.
"What?" Kate asks.
"Get!" Jim finally exclaims, causing Kate to startle. "Get...out! Out!"
Kate kicks into overdrive and immediately flees the room, heart once again beating fast in her ears, chest heavy from the rush.
She does her best to explain what happened to Dr. Wix, but Kate is pretty shaken from that unexpected reaction from her father. Even at his drunkest, he never really raised his voice at her. In fact, she couldn't even remember the last time he'd spoken to her like that. "It may be best to come back tomorrow when he's more conscious. Irritation is not uncommon after a head injury, but once he's had time to rest, we'll know more about what we're dealing with," says the doctor as they return to the family room where Officer Jones was waiting for her. "And it's important for you to get some sleep as well."
Kate figured the bags under her eyes must be obvious by now. She'd felt them forming when she was with Rick, their heaviness pulling her into her mini naps while they waited for the neurology consult. That was hours ago at this point, but her adrenaline kept her from acknowledging that she was running on fumes.
"I can drop you at home, if you'd like," Officer Jones says.
Kate nods at the generous offer and accepts. "I, uh, need to get some air first, if that's okay."
"'course," nods Jones. "I'll be here when you're ready."
With that, Kate jogs off toward the emergency room entrance, retching as the outdoor air hits her face. She sobs as she tries not to throw up, a stabbing pang at her ribs as she slows her breathing.
"Kate?" a soft, familiar voice calls out from behind her.
She turns to see him still sitting on the bench outside the door.
"Rick?"
"I thought I told you to go home," Kate snaps.
"That you did," replies Rick.
"Yet, here you are."
"Here I am."
Kate stares him down, giving him her signature "look". Usually Castle immediately crumbles when she pulls out that card, but not this time. This time he holds his ground. For a while, at least.
"Kate, look, I'm just here in case you needed anything," he finally says.
"Well, I don't," Kate huffs. "I'm–I'm...fine."
It's the least convincing she's sounded, maybe ever, but she still worked hard to hold back the river forming in her eyes again.
"Uh huh," Rick says, standing up.
She inches closer to him but continues to say "I'm fine," almost as if she's trying to convince herself.
"I know," Rick says as Kate buries herself in his chest
"He's, uh...I'm gonna come back in the morning," Kate says.
"Okay."
"Could I stay at your place tonight?" Kate asks, still wrapped in Rick's warm embrace.
"Of course. I can get a car here in a few minutes," Rick tells her.
"Even at 4 in the morning?" She asks, skeptical but not too skeptical, because he probably knows a guy.
"I know a guy." Kate chuckles. Rick smiles.
"Actually, I know a guy, too."
Ten minutes later, Officer Jones puts his squad car in park outside of Castle's building and hands his business card to Kate. She promises to call him with an update, but she's honestly not sure she will. The couple heads to the elevator, to the top floor, then to the entrance of the loft. Martha had gone to be with Alexis many hours ago and the living room and kitchen was still covered in the aftermath of the party. They didn't dwell at all on the mess, though. Instead, they went straight to the bedroom and were both asleep before their heads even hit the pillow.
When Rick wakes up, Kate's side of the bed is cold and empty. As he comes to full consciousness, he reaches for his phone, which has a single text notification from his girlfriend:
I'm sorry.